Season 2 | Ep. 25 | Gram's Quest

Summary

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Dark Dice: Season 2, Episode 24 – "Graham's Quest"

Release Date: October 14, 2025
Produced by: Fool and Scholar Productions
Summary compiled by an expert podcast summarizer

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Episode Overview

"Graham's Quest" is a climactic, horror-tinged actual play episode drawing the curtain on the infamous Madhouse arc. The party faces grotesque adversaries, both monstrous and personal, in a disturbing kitchen of horrors, and finally confronts Tasha’s Kiss—the abomination at the heart of their torment. This episode balances intense combat, dark humor, and genuine pathos, including special moments highlighting Charlotte Norup (Graham), who brings even more heart knowing her real-life circumstances. The party’s unity and flaws are tested under fire, culminating in a cathartic, twist-laden battle for survival and redemption.

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Key Discussion Points & Story Segments

1. Setting the Stage & Tributes

• 00:00–03:18
  • Dungeon Master opens with genuine emotion, sharing the show’s long evolution and special thanks, including the participation of guest voice Charlotte Norup (Graham), herself bravely fighting illness.
  • Announcement: Matt Mercer will join the cast for future episodes.
  • Quote (Dungeon Master, 00:57):
    “She was very excited when we offered to have her voice the very eccentric Graham... She's a treasure to us.”
  • Reminder: This arc is adapted from "The Madhouse of Tasha's Kiss" by Jeff C. Stevens.

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2. Into the Madhouse: Battle in the Infernal Kitchen

• 03:59–13:32
  • The party—Gale, Glom, Soren, Ildrix, and others—attempts to stealthily navigate a macabre kitchen where souls are baked into pastries.
  • Gale’s desperate attempt to stop the machine backfires, accelerating slaughter (06:13). She suffers stress and guilt:
    • Quote (Gale, 06:27):
      “Oh God, thanks.”
  • An epic melee erupts against humanoid beast fiends—after several near-deaths, Graham makes a triumphant entrance:
    • Quote (Dungeon Master, 08:06):
      “A heavenly chorus sung out and suddenly the creature’s own head and raised arms were simply severed... as the blood-covered face of Graham stumbled into view.”
  • The party is battered, but Graham’s magic sword and rapid aging reversal turn the tide. There’s banter about her luck and prowess:
    • Quote (Glom, 10:03):
      “See? And you laughed at us for giving her that magic weapon.”

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3. Aftermath, Emotional Reunions, and Exposition

• 13:32–16:39
  • Survivors deflate from magical affliction (notably Miggle), and there’s heartfelt reconnection—especially with daughter Tabitha.
  • Graham, transformed, takes charge, explaining the arcane nature of their trap (“a magical realm like those from the old stories”—15:39).
  • Quote (Graham, 16:12):
    “Okay, so I need to rip the sock, and you fools are going to help me.”
  • Exposition: Graham recounts Tasha’s tragic pact and the origin of the madhouse, chastising the group for skipping the crucial journal.

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4. Preparations & Descent into the Boss Lair

• 16:39–20:08
  • The party debates strategy and resting, Clymore tending to wounds with medieval flair.
    • Quote (Dungeon Master, 18:35):
      “...using a small knife to sever and remove the dead flesh and a variety of herbs that he chewed before poking them into Ildrix’s wounds...”
  • Decision: The main adventurers (minus Graham and survivors) plunge into the pie chute—passing through magical transport.
  • The room shifts to a horrifying dais—party faces Tasha’s Kiss, a monstrous jester-spider hybrid. Soren is quickly overwhelmed by psychic assault and compelled to betray his friends.

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5. Boss Fight: Tasha’s Kiss

• 20:08–34:24
  • Intense, cinematic battle unfolds on a checkerboard platform:
    • Soren, briefly mind-controlled, overcomes it via teammates’ intervention (23:01).
    • Party members repeatedly roll exceptionally well, noting tongue-in-cheek how lucky they are.
    • Combat escalates: Tasha mutates, inflicts psychic and physical damage, and as Soren shines his lantern, souls of previous victims burst forth from her body, including the fierce halfling surgeon Lauren.
    • Graham’s unexpected arrival helps tip the tide. Humorous and heartfelt exchanges continue even amidst dire peril:
      • Quote (Gale, 30:25):
        “You stole a whole village. You ate whole villages. And you threatened my son. You deserve to die.”
      • Quote (Dungeon Master, 33:46):
        “As the Demiplane split and expelled its contents. Another 10, 20, or perhaps 30 humans... all sprawled crawling and confused on the ground in the middle of the smoking crater where the wagon once stood...”
  • The party, now battered and victorious, emerges into their home reality, followed by a flood of rescued souls.

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6. Resolution, Rest, and Renewal

• 34:24–39:37
  • Graham rallies the traumatized crowd, giving explanations and comfort, becoming the de facto village matriarch.
    • Quote (Graham, 34:24):
      “It’s going to be okay. You were all under the curse of a terrible fiend... For whatever reason, you had not been fully consumed...”
  • Survivors share stories. The party enjoys a well-earned rest, healings (leech therapy included), and village hospitality.
  • The group plans next moves: Clymore receives a lead on their next target.

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7. New Bonds, Character Growth & Banter

• 39:37–41:48
  • Small, poignant moments as the party reassesses themselves and relationships.
    • Glom and Soren share a drink, breaking down barriers built over the course of their journey (40:07).
    • Hints of romance and camaraderie:
      • Quote (Dungeon Master, 41:17):
        “The gal make the first move.”
      • Friendly accusations of cheating at dice, comic relief after trauma.

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8. Epilogue: Laying the Next Trap

• 44:02–46:00
  • Snap to the team posing as guards in a new Dwarven hold, prepping an ambush for Rowena, Sindri, and Elias Embertree.
  • Tactical considerations about shapeshifters and magic ("...don't want to let him talk—could be fatal").
  • The stage is set for another confrontation.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Graham as a Guest Star & in Real Life:
  • “She was very excited when we offered to have her voice the very eccentric Graham... She's a treasure to us.”
    —Dungeon Master (00:57)
• On NPC Exposition Skipped:
  • “This sounds an awful lot like exposition, which you would have gotten if you'd read the journal.”
    —Graham (17:36)
• On Making Dark Choices:
  • “You stole a whole village. You ate whole villages. And you threatened my son. You deserve to die.”
    —Gale (30:25)
• On Graham’s Unlikely Heroism:
  • “I am the protagonist. Let us then just assume that Tasha is the key to our escape.”
    —Graham (17:48)
• On Banter Amid Desperation:
  • “Are there normally Dragonborn guards in Dwarven holds?”
    —Glom (45:07)
• After Returning to Reality:
  • “No more dark stairs, we agreed.”
    —Soren (33:54)
  • “And no more clowns.”
    —Gale (34:07)

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Structure & Character Highlights

• Graham emerges as the surprising, heartful epicenter of the episode: rejuvenated, clever, and bluntly maternal.
• Gale and Glom are persistent comic foils, whose magical and martial gambits provide both stress and catharsis.
• Ildrix, Clymore, Soren shine during combat and in quiet aftermaths, sharing vulnerability and humor.
• Cinematic combat and horror elements are grounded by the party’s fraught closeness, moments of genuine loss, and swift black comedy.

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Conclusion

This episode is the payoff of a long, dark arc—offering horror, heroism, and healing in equal measure. It skillfully blends grimdark atmosphere, D&D mechanics, genuine emotional beats, and offbeat tabletop comedy. Graham’s hard-won victory, both on the battlefield and as a character loved by cast and creators, is especially poignant.

— End of summary —

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For First-Time Listeners or Those Rejoining:

• There’s enough exposition and character context in this episode that you can appreciate the emotional and narrative climax, though regular listeners will get even more from recurring jokes and long-running tensions.
• The core of this story: a found family facing unspeakable darkness, comedic resilience, and the transformative power of confronting horror together.

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For further details and future adventures: Listen to the next chapter or revisit darkdice.com for transcripts, cast info, and merch.

Transcript

[Dungeon Master]

Greetings adventurers. I cannot believe I'm truly saying this. We started playing and recording season two before we even finished the first season of Dark Dice. And after eight years closer to nine, we're finally starting to bring things to a close. After this episode, we'll be returning to follow a few final episodes with Rowena, Sindri, Elias and Lyrel. And a new voice will be joining the party, one you actually joked about. And no, we really have the one and only Matt Mercer joining us to bring one of your favorite members of the party to life in just two weeks. So please spread the word and help share our strange show to find new listeners. Just a quick reminder that this episode features sections from the amazing horror adventure the Madhouse of Tasha's Kiss by Jeff C. Stevens, used with permission. If you enjoy it, you can play the adventure at your own table and scar your players for life just like we did here. And finally, another huge thanks to Robert Clotworthy, the voice of Jim Raynor from Starcraft, for joining the cast as Clymore. And especially a huge thanks to Charlotte Norup, our our dear friend who's bringing to life the one and only Graham. Charlotte is very public about this, so I'm able to share this that she was diagnosed with a very likely terminal illness earlier this year. She was very excited when we offered to have her voice the very eccentric Graham. And while the possibility of a spin off doesn't currently look feasible, I wanted to say that if you like what you hear and you're the director of a major video game production or animated film, please consider hiring this amazing voice actress who's been a part of the audio fiction community for so many years. While there's still time and energy. She's a treasure to us. And for those of you who aren't a director of something, feel free to leave a nice comment about how much you loved Graham. Assuming you do, and we'll be happy to share those with her as well. Wherever you leave those comments. Well, I've stalled as long as I could and I promised a long episode two weeks ago, so this one's gonna deliver. Let's get started.

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[Dungeon Master]

Foreign I'm Scott Hanson, host of NFL Red Zone. Lowe's knows Sundays hit different when you earn them. We've got you covered with outdoor power equipment from Cobalt and everything you need to weatherproof your deck with Trex decking. Plus with lawn care from Scotts and of course Pit Boss grills and accessories. You can get a home field advantage all season long. So get to Lowe's, get it done and earn your Sunday Lowe's Official Partner of the nflis de Pace S Do you seek him?

[Gale]

Do you seek Him?

[Clymore]

Do you seek him?

[Dungeon Master]

Do you seek him? Do you seek the nameless God? You have found yourself among those who roll the dark dice. What you are about to hear happened long ago. A story brought back from the edge of oblivion. Dutifully transcribed an enhanced aurally to better captivate your attention. Previously, a team of adventurers descended deeper into the madhouse.

[Graham]

No, these are no heroes. This is Graham's Quest.

[Dungeon Master]

Dark Dice the Long Road Chapter 25 Graham's Quest they haven't noticed us yet. Let's proceed to the door over there without drawing their attention.

[Gale]

You're just gonna leave my father?

[Dungeon Master]

All heads simultaneously turn to face Tabitha, who is slung over Ildrix's shoulder.

[Gale]

Super.

[Dungeon Master]

A tense pause proceeded a vehemence of frenzied screams as the fiends raised their blades and set toward the team in a fury.

[Glom]

I would like to Run and quickly put the girl up on a high shelf of the machine, hopefully safe from harm. And then take a quick mouthful of alco and turned to breathe fire on the five humanoids that are closest to me.

[Dungeon Master]

Failing their dexterity, saving throws to move out of the way. The creatures shrieked in horror as the flames from Ildrix's alcohol infused breath seared their hands and faces for 12 damage.

[Gale]

Gale approaches the mechanical pie maker coverer belt thing, looking at its dials and levers, and she tries to figure out what its sinister markings mean. With a roll of a 16 for Arcana. She's looking for an obvious off switch.

[Dungeon Master]

Despite its size, the machine appeared a complex ecosystem of interlinked parts that relied upon one another to funct as it infused a victim's flesh, soul and life force into pies, puddings and pastries, presumably for consumption in the Darklands. They do that sort of thing, right? Perhaps Tasha's kiss had a more sinister purpose for her traveling performance after all.

[Gale]

Okay, that sounds terrifying. Gael is going to pull a random lever with her mage hand spell in a sort of telekinesis roll.

[Dungeon Master]

A 20 sided dice. The higher the more lucky. Ah.

[Gale]

One.

[Dungeon Master]

The machine sped up, pulling the round aristocrats in with an insatiable speed. Gael failed her subsequen insanity saving throw, gaining 15 stress as she realized the gravity of her carelessness. Their deaths now firmly on her hands.

[Gale]

Oh God, thanks.

[Dungeon Master]

And gaining a new trepidation toward levers.

[Soren]

That will actually prove useful for us, I think.

[Dungeon Master]

Only four villagers remained as Soren's eyes flickered with ideas.

[Ildrix]

So for the machine, just to make sure I'm understanding the large people are being fed into it and each one becomes a pie. There isn't like a vat of crushed souls somewhere inside, Correct? So there's really no. There's just really no good reason for me to create a sentient pie at this point with my abilities.

[Dungeon Master]

Soren's hand twitched toward the cursed lantern.

[Ildrix]

In which case I should probably fire at the giant pig leader just in case.

[Dungeon Master]

Instead reaching for his bow and loosing an arrow at their pig faced leader for 16 damage. Tearing into the wild boarman's shoulder as a second arrow. One from Glom struck the same target in the left eye as he yelled.

[Soren]

Grab Stand by my side.

[Dungeon Master]

And the boar man, somehow still alive, bloodied but still standing, shrieked and pointed his crude blade at Ildryx. The pack of beasts descended on Ildryx as one blades and tenderizers from all 12 raging in a clamorous melee. A Bovine baker impaled Ildrix's bicep as a foul headed butcher shrieked and slashed his butcher's knife across Ildrix's chest. As another knife unexpectedly caught Ildrix in the back from an assailant he couldn't even see. He'd taken 19 damage in total before the wild boarman critically tackled Glom. Yes, even with disadvantage, bashing Glom's head against the floor, but fortunately missing his face with that curved blade as he pinned Glom's arms with his knees and readied his next strike. One that surely wouldn't miss. Graham's sheep began bleating in concern, only adding to the chaos of sound as Graham.

[Soren]

Come on, Graham.

[Dungeon Master]

As the boarman readied his blade to hack at Glom's face with lethal fury, a heavenly chorus sung out and suddenly the creature's own head and raised arms were simply severed and gushing as the blood covered face of Graham stumbled into view off balance, her hair now a bit darker and her wrinkles pulling more taut across her neck and face.

[Graham]

Are you okay?

[Dungeon Master]

Glum Gale Clymore pulled one of the beasts away from Ildrix, stabbing it repeatedly in the stomach before throwing its shivering feathered form into an open oven. As Ildrix extended his collapsible dragon pole with an upward swing, catching the Auroch under the chin and breaking its neck and jaw with a crack, Ildrics called upon his inner strength to open a situational awareness, securing all his focus on defense, moving like water as Sorin placed his hands on Eldritch's shoulder, focusing a magical healing to seal his friend's open wounds.

[Ildrix]

Just gonna give you a little back rub here, buddy.

[Glom]

Appreciate it. It's real nice. Lower back area's really just been really tight lately.

[Ildrix]

To 11 GP.

[Glom]

Feels good.

[Dungeon Master]

Gale's eyes watched Miggle slowly move toward the chute, pulled now by the speed of inertia. His daughter screaming on in helpless terror.

[Gale]

So Gale's going to use the lyre to cast levitate on the Father 18 for performance.

[Dungeon Master]

Overcoming all odds, Gael's spell worked despite the increased difficulty of performing the same spell twice in a row. Such vain instruments are loathe to repeat themselves. And Ningle slowed, floating out of the reach of the vat to the safety of the ceiling near the entrance. As the remaining three villagers are pulled down into the chute of the infernal machine. Glom, seeing his friend in danger, drew his scimitar and charged the nearest foe, decapitating a goat like creature and raising his shield to defend Ildry' as a fury of blades and blunt instruments swung at them. Glom knocked aside antlers as Zildrix leapt over a tusk, taking only nine damage from the 18 attacks, all singularly focused on him. Clymore pulled a second goatman back by his throat, strangling and stabbing the beast as Graham cut another in half in the midsection, her wiry hunched frame standing taller as each heavenly swing renewed her vitality to the lower end of her middle years.

[Glom]

See? And you laughed at us for giving her that magic weapon.

[Dungeon Master]

She shouldn't be able to roll this high, it's so good. Until she gets it once.

[Glom]

Start preparing your death speech for her just to make it epic because she's really the winner of tonight's game.

[Dungeon Master]

Ildric swung his dragon pole again two handed, this time bringing it down on the skull of a ram who died before he hit the floor, and followed it up with a flurry of blows upon an Orokum with jagged teeth, cracking her sternum and shoulder but failing to take her down. But an eldritch blast exploded the side of the Orok woman's head in a hail of teeth and shattering skull, revealing the smiling face of Gael beyond splattering.

[Soren]

The two of us.

[Ildrix]

I'll just be support class this time. It'll be fun. Keep the bankrupt going.

[Dungeon Master]

Sorin followed Ildrix, dancing around the creatures and sealing his friends new wounds with the last of his magical reserves as Guam severed the arm of a feather covered chef that shrieked in response. Again the fiends descended upon Eldrix, hell bent to complete their sinister task with renewed vigor, stabbing, prodding and cracking their implements of pain upon him for 13 damage, ripping out scales and pecking for his eyes as to the side. Climore continued to strangle the form below him. And Graham.

[Clymore]

Come on.

[Dungeon Master]

Graham finally missed. I'm saying this as if it's a big deal, but I've just been rolling unusually well.

[Glom]

It is a big deal.

[Soren]

It is a big deal.

[Dungeon Master]

Perhaps due to her taller posture or renewed youth, she overjudged the strength required for the swing.

[Glom]

It's the cataracts.

[Soren]

Now's not the time for excuses, Graham.

[Graham]

Well, I've certainly done more than any one of you so called adventurers of.

[Dungeon Master]

The five remaining creatures. Ildrick swung his dragon pole horizontally, briefly stunning the goatman before pulling him closer with the force of the swing and caving his face inward with a series of punches. While Gale sent another blast into the fray, downing a second target while exposing Spinal Column. Sorin, so close to the action, let loose an arrow, but missed his target. Rats indeed. Missing a rat faced Porter as Glum cut the legs out from under it with his shield before bashing it to death. Brushing off slashes he took to the back as he turned to glare at the two remaining creatures, daring them to attack again. Now, Graham and Clymore both rolled critical hits again. Seriously, I think these dice are flawed, and I'm going to stop using them. As Graham, who is now visually younger than Soren, surveyed her work, and after confirming that the skirmish had concluded, moved to help Tabitha off the shelf, Maegal slowly descended to the ground, away from the infernal machine, to the relief of.

[Soren]

All present, who's currently a giant balloon.

[Clymore]

But a living balloon.

[Graham]

Mm.

[Ildrix]

And bravo.

[Glom]

Well, I count that as a win. How do we get out of here?

[Clymore]

Well, I suppose we can either go down the the garbage chute or food drop or whatever. The impressive door seems to only lead towards sleeping quarters for these beasts.

[Soren]

Which would you rather be eaten by, Ildryx? The thing that eats these pies, or the thing that eats the waste?

[Clymore]

These are the real questions right here, friend. Also, on that topic, I don't know how we're gonna get the round guy through any passage, for that matter.

[Ildrix]

I'm, like, taking out my rope and trying to lasso Miggle.

[Graham]

He has put on a bit of weight.

[Glom]

Yeah.

[Gale]

Father.

[Dungeon Master]

Tabitha hugged her father, tears streaming down her face.

[Glom]

It's.

[Soren]

It's you.

[Dungeon Master]

I didn't know if you'd be alive. I'm so glad you're okay. His arms couldn't quite reach her, but something in that moment seemed to change him and break whatever spell afflicted his body. He slowly began to deflate to his former size. Graham helped him dress and silently chastised him as the team spoke. All pretense and pomp seemed to have left the humbled Miggle.

[Glom]

Yep.

[Dungeon Master]

It's very sweet. Thank you.

[Soren]

I thank you for rescuing me.

[Ildrix]

I'm so sorry, Tabitha.

[Soren]

I don't know what came over me.

[Gale]

It's okay, dad. It's over now.

[Soren]

Glom is counting. Okay, so we're a party of nine. Wait, has anyone seen the sheep?

[Dungeon Master]

The sheep seemed to be unused to walking on all fours and continued attempts to stand upright, despite its physiology.

[Soren]

All right, party of nine.

[Ildrix]

Lord Miggle, is it?

[Soren]

Just Miggle. And again, I'm sorry. I have no idea what came over me.

[Ildrix]

How are you feeling, Miggle? Are you starting to come around?

[Soren]

Well, I've never been quite this large, though. I seem to be returning to normal, thankfully.

[Dungeon Master]

It's a miracle, really. He glanced at the food, though. That food really was something else.

[Glom]

Yeah, we already pushed past that.

[Soren]

Who are you?

[Dungeon Master]

You.

[Ildrix]

You.

[Dungeon Master]

You appear to have rescued my daughter.

[Soren]

From whatever foul creatures are here. My family and I owe you a.

[Ildrix]

Great deal of thanks.

[Graham]

No, we don't.

[Glom]

We were. We were kind of looking for somebody else and stumbled upon your situation. Just kind of been picking up people along the way.

[Gale]

Yeah, some. We're. We're just people. But I'm sure you don't recognize, um.

[Dungeon Master]

Well, that's.

[Soren]

I think that's my mother. But otherwise, no. I don't know any of you.

[Dungeon Master]

Dad, we have a sheep now.

[Soren]

We what?

[Dungeon Master]

Graham put a hand over Miggle's thinning face.

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Shh.

[Graham]

It's probably better that you forget most of this. We'll get you back to good health, Miglin. Just hug Tabitha and the sheep. I'll deal with these supposed heroes. We've still got a bit of a situation to deal with here.

[Soren]

Who's a good.

[Graham]

Ow.

[Dungeon Master]

What the. Miglin and Tabitha began to pet their sheep while Graham pulled the party aside.

[Graham]

Nothing here makes sense. The way I see it, those stairs in the wagon must have taken us to a magical realm like those from the old stories. I don't like it, but I've heard of such things. If we can find the source of this place, it likely won't let go of us. But if we kill it, this terrible nightmare should pull apart like a poorly darned sock and let us home again. At least that's how it worked in the fables. There's no going back the way we came. Okay, so I need to rip the sock, and you fools are going to help me.

[Gale]

Did you suddenly get, like, a lot hotter? Sorry, it's probably just the accent. If you don't mind me asking, what.

[Soren]

Did you used to do, Graham?

[Graham]

I was a turnip, tomato, toffee and kerbis farmer for many years. And a bit of a botanist and hobbyist Fletcher before that. But after I got married, I've mostly been a homemaker and grandmother to 16 before becoming a widow.

[Soren]

You seem pretty knowledgeable about pocket universes.

[Graham]

Well, I was married to a former adventurer. We met because of an archery accident.

[Ildrix]

You shot him in the knee, didn't you?

[Dungeon Master]

Graham smiled.

[Soren]

You're pretty good with that sword, too.

[Ildrix]

And this source you mentioned, the thing we need to kill. You think that's Tasha's kiss?

[Graham]

Seems logical, does it not? The journal in her bedroom that you skipped indicated that she had received visions from a formless lord of sorts. And after some sort of bone ritual took place, this powerful demon lord was given form, presumably far away from here. Her years of service to the demon, which was part of her Bardlock pact to become a talented performer. She was blessed, or more realistically, cursed, to see her nightmares made manifest, or her dreams brought to twisted reality. Tasha's kiss was born in the Darklands, you see, under a lesser ship house.

[Glom]

You know, this sounds an awful lot.

[Graham]

Like exposition, which you would have gotten if you'd read the journal.

[Glom]

And again, what kind of amazing adventure started with and they read a journal?

[Graham]

Perhaps this one.

[Gale]

You know, you're kind of adorable when you're angry.

[Graham]

I am the protagonist. I am the protagonist. Let us then just assume that Tasha is the key to our escape. If we kill her, we should be free of this place.

[Ildrix]

I don't suppose these soul cakes are headed that way. If we follow them.

[Graham]

That's the first agreeable thing you've said all day.

[Glom]

Ouch. I think that counts as burn damage there. And I'm not gonna lie, friends. I'm feeling a little bit. A little bit beaten up.

[Dungeon Master]

Mm.

[Glom]

Do you think we have time to take perhaps a brief rest? Just enough time to catch my breath and try and close some of the wounds I've acquired in the last few minutes.

[Clymore]

You look pretty beat up.

[Dungeon Master]

Clymore pulled out a small medical kit and quietly sealed Ildrix's wounds, using a small knife to sever and remove the dead flesh and a variety of herbs that he chewed before poking them into Ildrix's wounds, healing him for nine hit points while passing Ildrix a flask of alcohol. The entire process took about five minutes, during which the team concluded that they would continue on without a rest, a conversation made more confusing by Zoom crashing during the recording twice.

[Soren]

So we, we, we, we. We can or can't take a nap?

[Glom]

I think we're good.

[Clymore]

You would want to sleep in a place like this. Trust me. Who knows what'll happen the longer we wait.

[Graham]

You would if you'd read the journal.

[Soren]

Stick around with us long enough, friend, you'll sleep anywhere.

[Clymore]

Maybe. Maybe.

[Ildrix]

Alright, just to be clear, as much as we'd very much like to lean on your assistance once again, Graham, I think it'd be best if you stay here with your son and granddaughter, and I'm assuming Clymore as well, while the four of us go down the food hole to see where the pies are being sent.

[Soren]

We're taking the sheep, though.

[Graham]

Yeah, fine. But if you're not back in 10 minutes, I'm going to follow you down there and I won't be happy about it.

[Glom]

Oh, trust me, we wouldn't want that.

[Graham]

You would not.

[Ildrix]

Then I'll lead us down. Onward to glory. Oh gods, it's so dark down there. I hope we're not jumping into like a wood chipper or a vat of acid.

[Glom]

Why? Why did you have to go and say that?

[Dungeon Master]

Soren jumped through the hole, vanishing instantly. Glam sighed and followed suit. Then Gale, then after a few more reluctant moments, Ildrix. Jumping through the darkness was unpleasant enough, but Ildryx recognized the distinct weightlessness and nausea of teleportation before the room materialized around him. Or rather a circular dais surrounded by the absence of a room. Darkness in all directions above and below save for that 30 foot red and black checkered circular platform that his feet stood firmly upon, which almost resembled a sort of human table setting. Iltrics had read about a picnic or table cover perhaps. And this sudden parallel, this revelation, made his scales crawl and twitch as he became aware of the presence of his companions and the slack jawed expressions they wore as they looked behind Ildric and up in fear. A giant crustacean like figure loomed overhead, a torn black and red harlequin jester's outfit trailing loosely behind its neck below a set of thin lips and 10 rows of jagged shark like teeth. Her limbs, which were numerous and bug like, scooped the final bite of matted wet hair from a pie plate into the wide four pronged tongue of Tasha's Kiss. As the final bite of that pie was swallowed, the loosely feminine abomination recognized that her next meal was still alive. Before anyone could act, the temperature of the room rose to uncomfortable levels as Tasha's kiss stared at Soren, her golden doll like eyes crushing through his sanity's defenses, searing his mind for seven psychic damage and issuing a command in the dreaded language of creation dark speech. Kill them. Soren now seemed to recognize the beautiful and talented Tasha's kiss for what she truly was, recognized his so called former allies as moving to harm her. And this simply wouldn't do.

[Ildrix]

Yeah, I will just very depressed inly, however you would say that. Stab Ildrix with a dagger.

[Dungeon Master]

Sorin drew his dagger.

[Ildrix]

It is five to hit.

[Glom]

Oh that's. Thank the gods I don't even notice that you're trying to stab me.

[Dungeon Master]

And Soren stumbled closer, dagger drawn, face slackened. Something was wrong.

[Gale]

Girl's going to cast awakened minds and implant suggestions into Soren's mind.

[Graham]

Soren.

[Gale]

You remember us? This isn't you. Look behind you. She is a creepy spider woman. Just look at the legs. They're horrific. You can't possibly side with that.

[Dungeon Master]

Soren was able to make a wisdom saving throw to overcome the enchantment.

[Ildrix]

It is a 17.

[Glom]

Soren, are you alright? There.

[Ildrix]

Better now, friends. Thank you.

[Glom]

Good. I'm gonna swing the dragon pole at the face of the big bad with a 21.

[Dungeon Master]

Ildrick swung the pole after full extension, catching Tasha's kiss to the side of the face, the bruise swelling almost immediately as Gloms scimitar struck the same area, carving the bruised flesh open. Hildrix attempted a back fist, but was unable to connect the strike. Weakened and tired as he was, the temperature rose higher as Tasha's torn lips pulled further and further apart, popping and warping to form a second jaw. While her main body, still loosely humanoid, pulled taller and taller into a new dreadful form.

[Glom]

17.

[Soren]

16. 18.

[Dungeon Master]

Seriously, we can't all roll this well all the time or it'll be a boring season.

[Soren]

I had a perfect childhood. You can't harm me, woman.

[Dungeon Master]

Though unintimidated by this new form of dread, Glom still didn't expect Tasha's limbs to move so quickly as a swipe intended to decapitate him cut through the armor of his chest for seven damage. The wound. However, the pain began to creep all over Glom's surface, thoughts invading his mind, requiring a wisdom saving throw.

[Soren]

18.

[Dungeon Master]

As the room reached a sweltering heat, the DM grasping at straws against the party he was trying too hard to kill. They now required constitution saving throws.

[Glom]

I've got fire resistance. I don't know if that matters.

[Dungeon Master]

Seriously? What the fuck? Yep, as Gale and Soren each took two damage, Sorin briefly contemplated using his lantern to give the visible pie as sentience, but opted to draw his bow and shoot at the gruesome abomination first.

[Ildrix]

With a natural 20.

[Dungeon Master]

Do you guys hear what I'm dealing with here? This is the game I'm trying to run. This is the adventure. Dark Dice. Big scary monster. The big finale. And they're rolling ridiculously well. And we're gonna make this into a scary story somehow. So let's do it.

[Ildrix]

12 damage.

[Dungeon Master]

Start the music again. The arrow caught the creature in its engorged abdomen. And as Soren shone the light of his cursed lantern upon it, a hellscape of screams erupted as the ethereal form of a halfling woman wearing the long cloaks and heavy eyeliner of a Venalhaven surgeon began to pull no. Carve itself free of Tasha's stomach wound with a small blade, its shimmering edge bringing very real harm to Tasha as it cut free of flesh, gaining solid form with each movement. I'm free.

[Soren]

I'll keep her distracted. Over here.

[Dungeon Master]

Gale, Glom and Ildrix moved to attack Tasha's kiss. Ildrix first swinging with the dragon pole, slamming the ground with a crack as Gale teleported behind and above the monster, unleashing a blast of energy that pelted her back, While Ildryx followed up, a claw kick, breaking flesh as Glom's blade tore a new wound into the abomination's new second jaw. Tasha heaved and gurgled in disgust as she regurgitated a second form, drawn out by the magics of the lantern, this time an elven farmer who attacked Glom in their horrified confusion, punching him in the stomach for three damage. The monster flailed its long, hooked limbs wildly, slashing Hildryk's Glom and Gale across the chest and stomach, Grappling both. Sorin calmly lowered his lantern to the ground as he quickly knocked a second, third, and fourth arrow, which found their way into Tasha's hide. Gale, unable to move her arms, locked her gaze on the elven farmer, whispering ideas into his consciousness and hissing magics to mask these intrusive thoughts as the farmer's own.

[Gale]

These people are friends. They're attacking the monster and should be helped.

[Dungeon Master]

Gael required a roll.

[Gale]

13.

[Dungeon Master]

The confused man called out an Elvish, adding a few more phrases that Soren quickly translated.

[Ildrix]

He asked if we're allies. He also says thank you and that he'll help us fight these monsters.

[Dungeon Master]

The farmer struck ildryx for 3 damage.

[Gale]

Wrong one, dude.

[Dungeon Master]

Then yeah. And the temperature rose even higher. Hey. Hey. Hey. Elfrend.

[Glom]

Don't hit me, please. I'm not doing so good. Am I grappled still?

[Soren]

You and I are held in her arms.

[Glom]

Great. Great. So. Probably want to get out of that.

[Soren]

I feel like this is going well, Ildrakes.

[Glom]

I don't. Good friend.

[Clymore]

Glum.

[Glom]

I don't feel like it's going well.

[Soren]

I was being sarcastic.

[Glom]

I am uncertain of sarcasm sometimes. Yeah. I'm gonna try and get out. Let's go.

[Dungeon Master]

And calling upon the last to be strength, Ildrix pushed himself free of the grapple, pulling away from Tasha and preparing his defenses as the halfling woman attacked the monster with her blades. And Glom critically failed to escape the other hand, the crushing strength of Tasha cracking against his bones as he called upon his own second wind. Tasha didn't seem to notice or care and simply swung against Ildrix critically striking him with disadvantage. Rerolled, striking him with a powerful blow that was not a critical one, but that still carved through Ildryx's scales, puncturing a lung and knocking him unconscious. As blood began to pool around his body and his breath began to bubble and wheeze in his throat. The halfling woman ran to Ildryx and began to call upon her limited knowledge of medical care to poke a new hole into Ildrix's throat to help drain the excess blood. While Tasha fled from the light of Soren's lantern, her legs wrapped around the bottom of the floating disk they all stood upon, still holding Glom and Gale. Soren still had one more chance to act before Tasha pulled them down to the other side where a terrible darkness awaited them.

[Ildrix]

Alright, so Soren's intention is to grab another arrow from the quiver, but as he reaches back, he actually knocks the teacup instead. And he has no idea why. He just sort of looks at it. He looks at the monster and he whistles to get her attention. Still illuminated by the light of the.

[Dungeon Master]

Lamp, Tasha stopped in an instant, dropping glom and gale as her eyes went wide with rage. She moved with a supernatural burst of speed and desperation, shrieking as her many bladed limbs raked towards Soren, a bladed scythe scraping his leg for seven damage but failing to grapple him as her mouth frothed. Get it back.

[Ildrix]

I don't know if we need to keep it or if smashing it will end this nightmare. I have no, no idea. But we kind of have to kill her, so.

[Soren]

She wants that teacup so bad, so.

[Ildrix]

I'm just gonna waste my turn holding this teacup up in the air and, you know, just trying to run away from everyone else to buy them some time. Disengaging.

[Soren]

Well, she's disengaging then. Do we get a free strike?

[Dungeon Master]

Oddly enough, that logic added up.

[Soren]

Natural 20.

[Dungeon Master]

Seriously, what is up with your collective dice? Someone needs to to keep track of your ridiculous rolls.

[Soren]

So that is 11 damage, not doubled.

[Dungeon Master]

Charged with supernatural power provided by his sister Glom. Swing, crack. Downward, sprawling the fiend before him, prone in that moment with a heightened heat and emotions, pain and recollection. The face of a woman glum, recognized from the posters, pushed upward from the flesh of the beast's forehead, calling out to him.

[Soren]

Tasha, you need to work on your opening act.

[Graham]

Help me, please.

[Soren]

Well, help us, please.

[Gale]

Look, lass, I think you're A little bit past help now and Gale's going to raise her arm and unleash another eldritch blast and point blank range to her face.

[Dungeon Master]

It wasn't my fault.

[Gale]

It was the curse.

[Graham]

The formless one tricked me.

[Gale]

You stole a whole village. You ate whole villages. And you threatened my son. You deserve to die. And gel will blast her again.

[Dungeon Master]

The face was blasted from the surface, receding toward the engorged body, which wriggled to life, fighting itself under the light of that cursed lantern. Behind Gael, Ildryx's eyes opened. His mouth locked with the lips of the halfling woman who was attempting cpr. She pulled back as he began to cough and stir to life.

[Glom]

Gods, thank you. Thank you for your kiss of life, little pirate lady.

[Dungeon Master]

The halfling smirked at Ildrix as she caressed his neck, plucking three leeches from it before returning them to her jar. You're good. And please call me Lauren, Driftwood Surgeon.

[Glom]

All right. Lauren Ildrix. Pleasure. You know, I used to live by the sea. Uh huh.

[Soren]

Enough chit chat, Eldritch. We got a problem here.

[Glom]

I. I'm trying to get to know some people here. Glom. Just in the midst of all the chaos. It's nice to have that. That touch. Point of humanity. Okay, I guess Ildrix is gonna get up and limp away from the mixed signal halfling to set his focus on getting even. He'll punch the Tasha creature again and again between gale Zeldritch blasts. He's. He's not even really gonna question why Soren is just standing there holding a dang teacup, is it? At least he's holding a light for us, I guess.

[Ildrix]

Holding a light. A light that prevented your soul from leaving your body while you were dying.

[Dungeon Master]

Punch after punch, blast after blast. Graham unexpectedly materialized and gave a disappointed glare at Guam and Soren before raising her blade and carving through Tasha's flesh. And with each slash, each punch, each ripple, more creatures began to rise and pull free of the torn bloody canvas in a confused and horrified panic. While some were simply vomited up, crawling through that gauntlet of teeth. Most of the creatures were humanoids. A subterranean Delphin, an aquatic elf. Kobolds. Humans. So many wretched forms broke free of that monster, disheveled and taking their very flesh with them, forming it around themselves with the magic of the lantern. At some point, a critical mass was reached, and with one final blast, the corpse tore apart in a powerful crack of magical energy that tore not only through people, but cracking the air itself. As the Demiplane split and expelled its contents. Another 10, 20, or perhaps 30 humans, a dwarven noble, two goblins, a guard, a gladiator, a priest, a wyrmling dragon, an elven druid, Clymore, Miggle, Graham, Tabitha, the party and their new sheep, all sprawled crawling and confused on the ground in the middle of the smoking crater where the wagon once stood beneath the circus tent. And standing before them now was a terrified Father Dormund at a young Gentry hall, their mouths slack and eyes wide.

[Soren]

By the light of Celagon.

[Gale]

What?

[Graham]

Excellent.

[Gale]

Geral looks at a boy and raises an eyebrow, sneering at him. Close your mouth, boy, you're embarrassing yourself.

[Dungeon Master]

Gentry slowly closed his mouth, feeling embarrassed.

[Gale]

What?

[Ildrix]

Soren is still holding the teacup high above his head and he's just gonna shout ta da.

[Soren]

No more dark stairs, we agreed.

[Glom]

Going forward. No more dark stairs.

[Gale]

No more dark stairs. No more wagons.

[Glom]

Unless the stairs are the only place to go.

[Gale]

And no more clowns.

[Dungeon Master]

The assortment of forms before them looked to the team for guidance, for an explanation. And as none of the party stepped forward, Graham once again took up the mantle of hero, having somehow landed the finishing blow on the abomination that Tasha's kiss became.

[Graham]

It's going to be okay. You were all under the curse of a terrible fiend. A woman who traded her soul for power. She stole your souls and villages as part of her unholy pact with a new God given form. You are all that remain of your homes. For whatever reason, you had not been fully consumed by the demon she became. Your souls were not fully digested. And somehow this man here was able to use his magical lantern to help form your body's back from the flesh that she stole from you.

[Ildrix]

You're welcome.

[Graham]

At least as far as I can tell.

[Glom]

Well, said Graham.

[Graham]

These people standing next to me helped. Sort of. Well, this one mostly ran away and gave back rubs. And this one faked falling asleep so he could smooch his new girlfriend during most of the fight, but at least Glumgate was useful.

[Glom]

Wait, how did you see that? You didn't show up till the last.

[Graham]

Moment when Soren lit his lantern. I watched your struggle from above.

[Glom]

Touche.

[Graham]

I was very impressed that any of you survived.

[Glom]

It was close. It was really close.

[Ildrix]

Could have used your sword. Yours too, Clymore.

[Clymore]

I pondered jumping down to hell, but I was afraid to leave the child and her father alone.

[Glom]

Fair enough. All right. Well, does anybody have a place for us to sleep before we carry on on our journey to find somebody? I forgot Who?

[Soren]

We were looking for pain. We're looking for pain.

[Glom]

Oh, I think we found pain.

[Clymore]

He's referring to Elias Embertree, the wanted murderer. As well as Rowena and Sindri. The dwarves who tried to murder Sorin.

[Glom]

Yeah, that too.

[Soren]

Oh, that's. What's the matter. We were looking for pain.

[Gale]

I think we found it.

[Dungeon Master]

Graham intervened to prevent the crowd from dispersing.

[Graham]

Well, since the innkeeper of our village was eaten after Glum Gale pulled the lever, I suppose some of you can sleep there. Follow me. I'll show you around our village.

[Soren]

I sort of am looking forward to trying that.

[Dungeon Master]

What is it?

[Soren]

Peach tomato jam.

[Glom]

Sounds delicious right about now.

[Graham]

I have some at my place. But I really need to sort all of these other folks first. The ones who came out of that fiend.

[Dungeon Master]

Over the following hour, Graham explained where and when they were to the creatures that left the madhouse alive, organizing them into a state of calm. Virtually all of them agreed to stay in Elovine Village, even the Wyrmling, at least through the winter. Before deciding if they would move on. Graham promised each of them that they would be welcome to remain with her family. And in some strange way, they all seemed to trust her. Back in the prime of her youth. Graham spent her next hours cleaning Tasha's magical blade of demon blood thoroughly before its choral singing heralded the preparation of the first meal that the village would share together. Confused but happy to be alive and eager to contribute, the survivors each shared stories of how they'd encountered Tasha falling prey to her magical enchantments and sinister hypnotic tongue. The dark speech which the enchanter fortress wielded more powerfully than any sharpened weapon, devastating entire communities overnight. Loren Driftwood, Driftwood being the name of orphans from Vinalhaven, spoke of meeting Tasha on the outskirts of the ship city, Nellwog. The Wyrmling had been in disguise as a shapeshifter, attracted by the sound of music, and the Kobolds, who had formerly worked for a powerful Drake named Bonifacio, had thought to steal from the traveling wagon. All of these stories shared commonalities, concluding that the woman named Tasha had been a proper villain long before her pact with the formless Lord, the neverborn God.

[Soren]

Tarnishing the name of clowns. She deserved to die.

[Dungeon Master]

The team was able to recover and gain the benefits of a long rest, and Father Dormund volunteered to remain with the village to help the new community transition and survive imperial scrutiny as a credible witness to their supernatural and spontaneous generation. Loren the Surgeon and Ildryg Ildrix either flirted or perhaps simply followed the very particular steps of her medieval recovery routine, leeches and all, healing Ildrix's lung over the following few nights, while Sorin and Glam followed the increasing demands of Graham.

[Graham]

After all, if you're well enough to eat our village's food, you're well enough to work.

[Dungeon Master]

Gael drank, avoiding gentry best she could, which was easy enough. After a day, she was relieved to find that the boy avoided her as well, and seemed to have been adopted by Tabitha's father, Miggle, who was still recovering from his magical transformation, but seemed to have taken a liking to the boy. Much to everyone's apparent surprise, one cold afternoon, a bird arrived in the village carrying with it a message for Clymore, one that indicated the intended destination of their quarry. Clymore promptly arranged a carriage that would take him and the team to the remote hold. With haste, the team discussed their final plans, confirming that Clymore had a potential means of separating and capturing the lone Elias, leaving the others to deal with their prey unimpeded and potentially not outnumbered.

[Ildrix]

Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this. We will definitely do our part.

[Clymore]

Thanks. I only hope that we can pull.

[Ildrix]

This off just to you as well. Hope you get your mam.

[Clymore]

Thank you.

[Soren]

Glam is gonna fill up two new mugs, or I guess, bowls of alcohol, and then he's going to pause, look at Soren, who he's mostly avoided up till now and he's never really trusted, but he had this very strange dream. So he's going to take a breath and then nod to himself and then walk over and hold out one of the bowls of alcohol for Soren.

[Ildrix]

Oh, thank you, son.

[Soren]

Sorry. Yeah, just wanted to, you know, see what you were thinking about this mission. Realized we hadn't really talked much.

[Ildrix]

Oh, I'm sorry if I haven't been very talkative. I've got a lot on my mind.

[Soren]

Oh, no, it wasn't you. It was. Yeah. No, nothing.

[Clymore]

It was just.

[Soren]

More. Yeah. So what do you think's gonna. What are we looking at here?

[Ildrix]

Excuse me for just one second. This bowl. Oh, that's good.

[Soren]

It's a special mix.

[Dungeon Master]

A little too much vodka.

[Ildrix]

I'm just excited to get down to the monster hunting, I guess. I'm sure we'll meet all manner of beasties down there.

[Soren]

Some. It's been good having you in the group. Yeah, you know.

[Ildrix]

Oh, thank you.

[Soren]

Oh, look, Ildryx is winning.

[Dungeon Master]

I'm gonna go blow on those dice.

[Ildrix]

That's why he's winning.

[Soren]

I can't believe you won again. You're too good, Ildryx. Too good. Too good.

[Graham]

I think he's cheating.

[Shopify Advertiser]

He's too honorable and socially awkward to cheat. He's the kind of guy who makes.

[Dungeon Master]

The gal make the first move.

[Glom]

That's right. I do not cheat and I am offended that you would consider it. I have been practicing in the in the hills of Jensla for many years.

[Soren]

Glam starts organizing his arrow heads Iron ones on this side.

[Dungeon Master]

Was there anything else the team wanted to do before departing Elovine Village?

[Soren]

Glom's now organizing his swords. Oh, they're all iron. Okay.

[Glom]

Nope.

[Dungeon Master]

Okay.

[Soren]

Level up.

[Dungeon Master]

Having reached level five, the team was ready to face the other group and set their trap within Westman's hold. Dark Dice Chapter 25 Graham's Quest featuring Peter Joseph Lewis as Soren Arkwright, Holly Billinghurst and Shawn Howard as Galen Glam Vogelberg, Rusty Moore as Ildryx and featuring Robert Clotworthy as Clymore, Michelle Tan as Gentry, Ka Statz as Tabitha, Andrea Sumville as Miguel, Janice Hodgin as Tasha's Kiss, Karine Cromflly as Father Dormund, Megan Youmans as Lauren, Florian Zeitler as the elven Farmer, Charlotte Norup as Graham and Travis Vengraff as Dungeon Master. This episode was produced and edited with sound design by Travis Vengrof, mixing and mastering by Fenner Nielsen, and features executive producers Dennis Greenhill, Mike Ovallegas, AJ Punkin and Carol Vengrof. This episode featured music by Andrej Vidonagrov, Neil Martin, Travis Van Grof, Yuzo Koshiro, Hitoshi Sakamoto, Brandon Boon, Steven Malin and Nobuo Uematsu. To help support this show, Please check out patreon.com and and please check out our new website darkdice.com now complete with new merch. Dark Dice is a fool and Scholar production. Thank you for listening. When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pinned messages so no one forgets mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] this episode is brought to.

[Graham]

You by State Farm. Listening to this podcast Smart move. Being financially savvy. Smart move. Another smart move having State Farm help you create a competitive price. When you choose to bundle home and auto bundling. Just another way to save. With a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility vary by state.

[Dungeon Master]

Dressed awkwardly like Dwarven guards, standing sentinel in the dim darkness under the mountain, Clymore broke the silence.

[Clymore]

So, what are your interests with the others? I think we should probably. Well, honestly, I think they'd be better off dead than alive, given the crimes they committed.

[Glom]

Normally, I'd say let's see if they could be saved, But I don't think that's gonna happen this time.

[Soren]

No.

[Clymore]

Soren, what are your thoughts?

[Ildrix]

I have no problem killing people. I think that's very clear. But, yeah, if we can get pain back, I don't mind the rest of the.

[Gale]

So, just to repeat the plan again out loud, we're sitting here outside this dungeon, dressed like normal city guards, acting like we have zero peripheral vision. We're waiting for Rowena and her murderous friends to noticeably sneak by us so we can ambush them on the way out. Because this is the only entrance. And this is all assuming that the traps don't take them out, of course.

[Clymore]

That's pretty much it.

[Glom]

Are there normally Dragonborn guards in Dwarven holds?

[Clymore]

As a mercenary, that's not uncommon.

[Glom]

Perfect.

[Clymore]

You also have that costume from the magic shop you can wear if you feel awkward about it.

[Gale]

Sold.

[Clymore]

The latest report from yesterday confirmed that Rowena and Sindri's magic powers are pretty insidious. So we probably won't want to let him talk because, well, that could be potentially fatal.

[Glom]

Great.

[Ildrix]

I just thought of this. But if the Delvin Poisoner can shape shift, how can we be sure who she is?

[Gale]

Well, they should all be traveling together, so there's that.

[Soren]

Cool plan. Sounds great.

[Dungeon Master]

Footsteps rotable in the dark. Darkness getting louder. A group was approaching, led by their Dwarven contact.

[Glom]

All right, let's get our game.