156: Pranks, Blackmail, and Perverts: America’s Weirdest Presidents - Dark History

Summary

Dark History Episode 156: Pranks, Blackmail, and Perverts: America’s Weirdest Presidents

Release Date: January 15, 2025
Host: Bailey Sarian
Expert: Professor Luke Nichter, Chapman University

Introduction: Deconstructing Presidential Iconography

Bailey Sarian opens the episode by challenging the traditional portrayal of U.S. presidents as untouchable heroes. She emphasizes the importance of uncovering the lesser-known, bizarre aspects of these historical figures to present a more nuanced and humanized view of their personalities and actions. Sarian sets the stage for an exploration of the "weirdest presidents," highlighting their quirks, scandals, and unprecedented behaviors that history books often overlook.

Lyndon B. Johnson: The Eccentric Commander-in-Chief

The Johnson Treatment and Personal Quirks

Sarian delves into the complex character of President Lyndon B. Johnson (LBJ), portraying him as both a highly productive leader and a source of discomfort for those around him. She describes his infamous "Johnson treatment," a strategy where Johnson would emotionally and physically dominate his aides to ensure his directives were followed. At [02:15], Sarian recounts, “He would corner his aides, grip their hands tightly, and lean in so close that you could smell his cologne,” illustrating Johnson’s intimidating presence.

Sexual Misconduct and Public Persona

One of the most shocking aspects of Johnson’s presidency discussed is his blatant sexual misconduct. Sarian reveals that LBJ was known for exposing his genitalia to the press and other officials, famously nicknaming his penis "Jumbo." At [05:48], she narrates an incident where Johnson allegedly responded to a reporter’s inquiry about the Vietnam War by simply exposing himself and declaring, “This is why.” Sarian emphasizes the normalization of such behavior within the White House, highlighting Johnson’s disregard for personal boundaries and public decency.

Paradox of Achievements and Controversies

Despite his personal flaws, Johnson’s administration was marked by significant legislative achievements, including the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Sarian acknowledges these accomplishments but contrasts them with the escalation of the Vietnam War, which ultimately tarnished his legacy. She notes, “[08:30] Johnson was productive in passing crucial laws, yet his military strategies in Vietnam led to widespread unpopularity.”

Warren G. Harding: Scandal and Extravagance

Extramarital Affairs and Blackmail

Sarian transitions to President Warren G. Harding, focusing on his notorious extramarital affairs. Harding’s primary mistress, Carrie Phillips, successfully blackmailed him into providing generous hush money payments to keep their affair secret. At [19:10], Sarian quotes Harding’s letter to Phillips: “My home relationship is merely existence necessary for appearances sake,” revealing his blatant disregard for his marital vows.

Bootlegging and Prohibition Hypocrisy

Harding’s presidency is further scrutinized for his hypocrisy regarding Prohibition. Publicly, he supported the Anti-Saloon League, yet privately he indulged in alcohol, maintaining a secret bootlegging operation facilitated by his aide, Jess W. Smith. Sarian explains at [22:45], “President Harding had his own bootlegging service, smuggling whiskey into the White House despite the nationwide ban,” showcasing the dichotomy between his public stance and private actions.

Wild White House Parties

Harding was also infamous for hosting extravagant and raucous poker nights at the White House, often undermining his public image as a staunch prohibitionist. These gatherings, described as “downright ragers,” included the First Lady, Alice Longworth, who mingled with bottled whiskey alongside the president. Sarian notes, “[24:00] These poker nights were a stark contrast to Harding’s public persona, revealing a man who lived a double life of indulgence and secrecy.”

Grover Cleveland: Marital Oddities and Secret Surgery

Unconventional Marriage and Personal Relationships

The episode then shifts to President Grover Cleveland, whose personal life was fraught with unconventional relationships. Cleveland married Frances Folsom when she was 21, after a close familial friendship that began when Cleveland acted as administrator for Frances's late father. At [30:50], Sarian remarks, “Frances called him ‘Uncle Cleve’ before they became husband and wife, a relationship that would later spark scandal and rumors.”

Secret Health Scandal and Surgical Prowess

A particularly intriguing story highlighted is Cleveland’s secret surgery to remove a malignant tumor while he was President. Concerned about public perception and economic stability, Cleveland entrusted the procedure to a team of surgeons aboard a yacht, ensuring the operation left no visible scars. At [34:30], Sarian describes, “They performed a six-surgeon operation on a moving yacht, meticulously avoiding any noticeable changes to his appearance, especially his signature mustache.”

Posthumous Revelations and Legacy

The secrecy surrounding Cleveland’s surgery was eventually compromised when one of the surgeons leaked the story decades later, confirming the president’s efforts to maintain a flawless public image. This revelation came long after Cleveland’s death, casting a shadow over his legacy and illustrating the lengths to which he went to protect his reputation. Sarian concludes Cleveland’s segment by reflecting on the importance of such hidden histories in understanding the full scope of presidential lives.

Conclusion: Humanizing History’s Leaders

Bailey Sarian wraps up the episode by reiterating the value of exploring the hidden, often uncomfortable truths about U.S. presidents. She argues that understanding these quirks and scandals provides a more comprehensive and relatable portrayal of these historical figures. Sarian emphasizes that presidents, despite their towering public personas, were deeply flawed and human, often engaging in behaviors that starkly contrast with their official duties and public images.

At [49:25], she asserts, “Even the highest office in the land doesn’t make someone immune to human flaws,” encouraging listeners to view history with a more critical and nuanced perspective. Sarian concludes by inviting listeners to reflect on these stories and appreciate the complex legacies of America’s leaders.

Notable Quotes:

Bailey Sarian [02:15]: “He would corner his aides, grip their hands tightly, and lean in so close that you could smell his cologne.”
Bailey Sarian [05:48]: “[Johnson] would just like ride on the. Hey, like just out, just... This is why.”
Warren G. Harding [19:10]: “My home relationship is merely existence necessary for appearances sake.”
Bailey Sarian [24:00]: “These poker nights were a stark contrast to Harding’s public persona, revealing a man who lived a double life of indulgence and secrecy.”
Bailey Sarian [34:30]: “They performed a six-surgeon operation on a moving yacht, meticulously avoiding any noticeable changes to his appearance, especially his signature mustache.”

Final Thoughts

Episode 156 of Dark History offers a compelling dive into the eccentricities and scandals of some of America’s most significant presidents. By shedding light on the peculiar and often disturbing behaviors of leaders like LBJ, Harding, and Cleveland, Bailey Sarian provides listeners with a richer, more humanized understanding of historical figures. This episode underscores the importance of examining both the public achievements and private follies of those who have shaped the nation's history.

Transcript

Bailey Sarian (0:00)

History books put presidents on a pedestal. We think of them as, like, these untouchable heroes. You know, in school, we learn about what made them good leaders, what their big achievements were, how they handled war, disasters, terrorist attacks. But, you know, like, what about the weird stuff that they did that no one talks about? You know, like, I'm talking about their quirks, their unprecedential behaviors. Well, when I looked into this, turns out there were a lot of them. So today we're paying tribute to some of the freakiest commanders in chief that the United States has ever known. From driving boat cars to whipping out their penises for the press, and, you know, so much in between, our past presidents have had a little more personality than we may have been told. So let's get into the bizarre, the beautiful, and the mind boggling dark history of weird presidents. Hi, friends. I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian, and I'd like to welcome you to my podcast, Dark History. Here we believe history does not have to be boring. It might be tragic, it might be happy, but either way, it's our dark history. Before we get into it, don't forget to like and subscribe because I'm always posting new content. Hi. And let me know what you think. I love hearing from you in the comment section. Now let's get into some weird presidents, huh? This is fun.

Sponsor/Co-host (1:35)

This is fun.

Bailey Sarian (1:36)

So in our history of 46 presidents, some shady. 46. Really? Okay, I learned something new right now. In our history of 46 presidents, some shady stuff has happened behind the doors of the White House. So let's start with one of my personal favorites, Lyndon B. Johnson. President Johnson was sometimes called lbj, and he was such an egomaniac that his wife and daughters all had the same initials as him. Kind of like giving like Kris Jenner, you know, but not. He's probably the most, like, infamous U.S. president of this episode because of his unique personality. LBJ is the guy who replaced JFK after JFK was assassinated. And maybe it was especially obvious because of how popular JFK was, but Johnson was not a popular guy with the American people. His mannerisms made people insanely uncomfortable. But, you know, he didn't care. All he cared about was, like, getting the job done. His weirdness actually became known as the Johnson treatment. Instead of, like, walking up to an aide or an intern in the White House and saying, like, hey, where's that file? Or whatever, you know, LBJ had a trademark move. He would usually corner his aides when they were alone. And sometimes he would even, like, grip their hands really tight. Then he would lean in really, really close. Like, really close. So. So, like, he's breathing on you. You can smell all of him. And LBJ was like 6 foot 4, so he was essentially towering over whoever he was talking to. And because LBJ believed that the more uncomfortable and intimidated he could make someone, the less likely they'd be to turn him down. Interesting strategy. And honestly, I could see that working. Right, if someone's, like, coming at you and talking really close, like, hey, will you. Will you house sit for me? And they're, like, really close to you, you're gonna say, yeah, well, it depends. Do you have a pool? Johnson made quite the name for himself. And his Johnson. His penis. His penis. Penis is the other Johnson. Yeah, I was talking about his penis.