Dark History Episode 156: Pranks, Blackmail, and Perverts: America’s Weirdest Presidents

Release Date: January 15, 2025
Host: Bailey Sarian
Expert: Professor Luke Nichter, Chapman University

Introduction: Deconstructing Presidential Iconography

Bailey Sarian opens the episode by challenging the traditional portrayal of U.S. presidents as untouchable heroes. She emphasizes the importance of uncovering the lesser-known, bizarre aspects of these historical figures to present a more nuanced and humanized view of their personalities and actions. Sarian sets the stage for an exploration of the "weirdest presidents," highlighting their quirks, scandals, and unprecedented behaviors that history books often overlook.

Lyndon B. Johnson: The Eccentric Commander-in-Chief

The Johnson Treatment and Personal Quirks

Sarian delves into the complex character of President Lyndon B. Johnson (LBJ), portraying him as both a highly productive leader and a source of discomfort for those around him. She describes his infamous "Johnson treatment," a strategy where Johnson would emotionally and physically dominate his aides to ensure his directives were followed. At [02:15], Sarian recounts, “He would corner his aides, grip their hands tightly, and lean in so close that you could smell his cologne,” illustrating Johnson’s intimidating presence.

Sexual Misconduct and Public Persona

One of the most shocking aspects of Johnson’s presidency discussed is his blatant sexual misconduct. Sarian reveals that LBJ was known for exposing his genitalia to the press and other officials, famously nicknaming his penis "Jumbo." At [05:48], she narrates an incident where Johnson allegedly responded to a reporter’s inquiry about the Vietnam War by simply exposing himself and declaring, “This is why.” Sarian emphasizes the normalization of such behavior within the White House, highlighting Johnson’s disregard for personal boundaries and public decency.

Paradox of Achievements and Controversies

Despite his personal flaws, Johnson’s administration was marked by significant legislative achievements, including the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Sarian acknowledges these accomplishments but contrasts them with the escalation of the Vietnam War, which ultimately tarnished his legacy. She notes, “[08:30] Johnson was productive in passing crucial laws, yet his military strategies in Vietnam led to widespread unpopularity.”

Warren G. Harding: Scandal and Extravagance

Extramarital Affairs and Blackmail

Sarian transitions to President Warren G. Harding, focusing on his notorious extramarital affairs. Harding’s primary mistress, Carrie Phillips, successfully blackmailed him into providing generous hush money payments to keep their affair secret. At [19:10], Sarian quotes Harding’s letter to Phillips: “My home relationship is merely existence necessary for appearances sake,” revealing his blatant disregard for his marital vows.

Bootlegging and Prohibition Hypocrisy

Harding’s presidency is further scrutinized for his hypocrisy regarding Prohibition. Publicly, he supported the Anti-Saloon League, yet privately he indulged in alcohol, maintaining a secret bootlegging operation facilitated by his aide, Jess W. Smith. Sarian explains at [22:45], “President Harding had his own bootlegging service, smuggling whiskey into the White House despite the nationwide ban,” showcasing the dichotomy between his public stance and private actions.

Wild White House Parties

Harding was also infamous for hosting extravagant and raucous poker nights at the White House, often undermining his public image as a staunch prohibitionist. These gatherings, described as “downright ragers,” included the First Lady, Alice Longworth, who mingled with bottled whiskey alongside the president. Sarian notes, “[24:00] These poker nights were a stark contrast to Harding’s public persona, revealing a man who lived a double life of indulgence and secrecy.”

Grover Cleveland: Marital Oddities and Secret Surgery

Unconventional Marriage and Personal Relationships

The episode then shifts to President Grover Cleveland, whose personal life was fraught with unconventional relationships. Cleveland married Frances Folsom when she was 21, after a close familial friendship that began when Cleveland acted as administrator for Frances's late father. At [30:50], Sarian remarks, “Frances called him ‘Uncle Cleve’ before they became husband and wife, a relationship that would later spark scandal and rumors.”

Secret Health Scandal and Surgical Prowess

A particularly intriguing story highlighted is Cleveland’s secret surgery to remove a malignant tumor while he was President. Concerned about public perception and economic stability, Cleveland entrusted the procedure to a team of surgeons aboard a yacht, ensuring the operation left no visible scars. At [34:30], Sarian describes, “They performed a six-surgeon operation on a moving yacht, meticulously avoiding any noticeable changes to his appearance, especially his signature mustache.”

Posthumous Revelations and Legacy

The secrecy surrounding Cleveland’s surgery was eventually compromised when one of the surgeons leaked the story decades later, confirming the president’s efforts to maintain a flawless public image. This revelation came long after Cleveland’s death, casting a shadow over his legacy and illustrating the lengths to which he went to protect his reputation. Sarian concludes Cleveland’s segment by reflecting on the importance of such hidden histories in understanding the full scope of presidential lives.

Conclusion: Humanizing History’s Leaders

Bailey Sarian wraps up the episode by reiterating the value of exploring the hidden, often uncomfortable truths about U.S. presidents. She argues that understanding these quirks and scandals provides a more comprehensive and relatable portrayal of these historical figures. Sarian emphasizes that presidents, despite their towering public personas, were deeply flawed and human, often engaging in behaviors that starkly contrast with their official duties and public images.

At [49:25], she asserts, “Even the highest office in the land doesn’t make someone immune to human flaws,” encouraging listeners to view history with a more critical and nuanced perspective. Sarian concludes by inviting listeners to reflect on these stories and appreciate the complex legacies of America’s leaders.

Notable Quotes:

• Bailey Sarian [02:15]: “He would corner his aides, grip their hands tightly, and lean in so close that you could smell his cologne.”

• Bailey Sarian [05:48]: “[Johnson] would just like ride on the. Hey, like just out, just... This is why.”

• Warren G. Harding [19:10]: “My home relationship is merely existence necessary for appearances sake.”

• Bailey Sarian [24:00]: “These poker nights were a stark contrast to Harding’s public persona, revealing a man who lived a double life of indulgence and secrecy.”

• Bailey Sarian [34:30]: “They performed a six-surgeon operation on a moving yacht, meticulously avoiding any noticeable changes to his appearance, especially his signature mustache.”

Final Thoughts

Episode 156 of Dark History offers a compelling dive into the eccentricities and scandals of some of America’s most significant presidents. By shedding light on the peculiar and often disturbing behaviors of leaders like LBJ, Harding, and Cleveland, Bailey Sarian provides listeners with a richer, more humanized understanding of historical figures. This episode underscores the importance of examining both the public achievements and private follies of those who have shaped the nation's history.