David Tennant & Georgia Tennant - Purgatory Season

Summary

David Tennant & Georgia Tennant - Purgatory Season

Podcast: David Tennant Does a Podcast With…
Release Date: April 15, 2025
Season: 3 (Upcoming)
Production: Sony Music Entertainment & No Mystery

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Introduction to the Purgatory Season

In the latest episode of David Tennant Does a Podcast With…, stars David Tennant and Georgia Tennant delve into the intriguing and humorous concept of death and the afterlife. Titled “Purgatory Season,” this episode marks a departure from the usual guest-centric format, presenting a unique, duo-driven narrative that blends comedy with dark humor.

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Setting the Scene: Entering Purgatory

The episode kicks off as Georgia introduces the new Purgatory Season, humorously reimagining the afterlife as a podcast setting. David and Georgia adopt the roles of a guest and the Grim Reaper, respectively, creating a playful yet thought-provoking dialogue about mortality.

Georgia Tennant (02:20):
"Hi, David. So this isn't your usual comfy, cosy podcast. It's a bit darker."

David Tennant (02:28):
"Yes, it is a bit. And you are playing the part of the Grim Reaper today, aren't you?"

The conversation quickly sets a whimsical tone, with the Tennants navigating the delicate subject of death through satire and wit.

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Planning a Fictional Death and Funeral

A significant portion of the episode revolves around David’s imaginative exploration of his own fictional demise and the ensuing funeral arrangements. This segment is rich with playful banter and creative scenarios that highlight the Tennants' chemistry and comedic timing.

David Tennant (05:31):
"How are you here? What do you want to plug?"

Georgia Tennant (05:55):
"Our podcast. The whole point is to plug it, isn't it?"

As they move beyond product placements, the duo delves into crafting the perfect fictional farewell for David, complete with elaborate plans and humorous dilemmas.

David Tennant (11:27):
"I'm thinking some heroic act that betters humanity. Maybe taking out a bad guy, but I end up killing myself in the process."

Georgia Tennant (15:19):
"That'd be a pretty great way to go."

Their brainstorming session includes creative ideas like death by Cadbury's mini eggs, complete with logistical challenges and comedic obstacles.

David Tennant (12:05):
"The idea of mini eggs, it's always seducing, isn't it?"
Georgia Tennant (21:07):
"If you'd gorged yourself to death on mini eggs, I'd just be quite fucked off with you."

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Listener Engagement and Email Segment

Interspersed within their fictional funeral planning, the Tennants engage with listener submissions, sharing amusing anecdotes and regrets from fans. This segment adds an interactive layer to the episode, allowing listeners to feel involved in the conversation.

Lou from Christchurch, New Zealand (21:53):
"Hi all at Death HQ. I wanted to share my experience at a funeral where I showed up in bright colors, much to everyone's confusion."

Georgia and David respond with their characteristic humor, reflecting on social faux pas and memorable moments.

Georgia Tennant (23:25):
"I think you should get some other friends."

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Theoretical Reflections on Death

Beyond the humor, the episode touches on deeper reflections about death and legacy. The Tennants discuss how individuals might want to be remembered and the impact of their actions on others.

David Tennant (13:35):
"I would like to give Michael Sheen some of my keep cups."

Georgia Tennant (26:35):
"I've got one more regret. Is this a regret or is this... I don't think this is my podcast."

These moments balance the comedic elements with genuine introspection, offering listeners a nuanced perspective on mortality.

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Closing Thoughts and Eulogies

As the episode progresses towards its conclusion, fictional eulogies and final words are presented, further cementing the playful exploration of death. The inclusion of a mock eulogy from Michael Sheen adds an entertaining twist.

Michael Sheen (39:16):
"David Tennant was, of course, one of the Doctors, some say the most disappointing of the doctors, but nevertheless, he was one of the doctors..."

Georgia and David continue to embellish their fictional farewell with creative details, maintaining their comedic rapport until the end.

Georgia Tennant (48:34):
"So, no, I. Well, I probably would inevitably be sad because then we wouldn't be there."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Georgia Tennant (02:21):
  "Hi, David. So this isn't your usual comfy, cosy podcast. It's a bit darker."

• David Tennant (05:31):
  "How are you here? What do you want to plug?"

• Georgia Tennant (12:16):
  "But then it would be about the fact that you were dying, which was the reason that you stopped eating the mini eggs, rather than because you became bored of mini eggs, which would actually stop the."

• David Tennant (21:07):
  "If you'd gorged yourself to death on mini eggs, I'd just be quite fucked off with you."

• Michael Sheen (39:16):
  "He was, of course, one of the Doctors, some say the most disappointing of the doctors, but nevertheless, he was one of the doctors."

---

Conclusion

“Purgatory Season” of David Tennant Does a Podcast With… offers a refreshing take on the topic of death, blending humor with heartfelt introspection. Through their dynamic interplay, David and Georgia Tennant invite listeners to laugh, reflect, and engage with the universal theme of mortality in an unconventional yet captivating manner.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisement segments and non-content sections to focus solely on the episode's primary discussions and interactions.

Transcript

[David Tennant]

Hey, Georgia.

[Georgia Tennant]

Hi, David.

[David Tennant]

Have you ever wished that you could slip into a disguise and travel anywhere in an instant?

[Georgia Tennant]

Is that a joke?

[David Tennant]

No, no, seriously, Seriously. I'm talking about NordVPN.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, okay, I see.

[David Tennant]

Georgia, look, I'm relocating.

[Georgia Tennant]

Relocating? You're literally on the sofa.

[David Tennant]

Not physically. Digitally. I'm digitally relocating. Thanks to NordVPN, I can switch my virtual location to 111 different countries with just one click. So now I can access movies, shows, websites from all over the world. And I don't even need to teleport.

[Georgia Tennant]

And what about security?

[David Tennant]

Well, NORDVPN encrypts all my online activity, protects against cyber threats, even gives dark web alerts to keep my personal data safe. And I want my personal data to be safe. Perfect for dodgy public Wi Fi's right.

[Georgia Tennant]

Because nothing screams hack me like a bloke at an airport clicking on free Wi Fi.

[David Tennant]

Well, exactly, yes. Which is why we highly recommend downloading the NORDVPN app, especially for banking and sensitive data.

[Georgia Tennant]

Want to stay safe online?

[David Tennant]

Just go to NordVPN.com tenant, use the code and get four extra months free on a two year plan.

[Georgia Tennant]

So you're basically getting premium cybersecurity for the price of a cup of coffee per month.

[David Tennant]

To get the best discount off your NordVPN plan, go to nordvpn.com tenant. Our link will also give you four extra months on the two year plan. No risk with Nord's 30 day money back guarantee. The link is in the podcast episode description box. This podcast contains some choice phrases, Georgia. And by that I mean we are choosing to swear. So if you're down with that, let's crack on.

[Georgia Tennant]

Georgia Tennant here with a quick reminder that the bonus episodes over on Six Feet under are still living their best life over there. You can get even more from me and the dearly departed David Tennant. You really want to tell the story?

[David Tennant]

No, you can't tell the story. No, it involves people we spend too much time with.

[Georgia Tennant]

No, it doesn't. I never spend any time with this woman. I'm gonna tell it.

[David Tennant]

Oh, no.

[Georgia Tennant]

So plus all episodes absolutely ad free. So treat yourselves and subscribe on Apple Podcasts or head to where there's a Will, there's a Wake.com.

[David Tennant]

You did that without your glasses. Well done.

[Georgia Tennant]

I mean, I think I was guessing most of it. Yeah, I can see the outline of.

[David Tennant]

The letters, the outline of words.

[Georgia Tennant]

And I'm also doing it like that, as if I'm wearing my glasses because I now have airy focals. But let's focus on you because you're the one that's nearer death than I am. So. Hi, David Tennant.

[David Tennant]

Hi, Georgia.

[Georgia Tennant]

Hi. So this isn't your usual comfy, cosy. Let's sort of chat to some guest style podcast. It's that a bit darker.

[David Tennant]

It's not my podcast at all.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, well, that too, yeah. It's more sort of Grim Reaper does a podcast with.

[David Tennant]

Yes, it is a bit. And you are playing the part of the grim Reaper today, are you?

[Georgia Tennant]

As normal. It fits very comfortably, to be honest.

[David Tennant]

Okay. All right.

[Georgia Tennant]

Anyway, this is where there's a will, there's a wake, the purgatory season where each week a different guest host. Me, Georgia Tennant and podcast king.

[David Tennant]

Come on.

[Georgia Tennant]

Not pin up. Just King God.

[David Tennant]

No, neither of those things.

[Georgia Tennant]

All right. Just David Tennant. David Tennant is purged for your afterlife entertainment.

[David Tennant]

Come on, Georgia, purge me.

[Georgia Tennant]

Exciting. Hello, I am this week's host, Georgia Tennant, and I'm coming to you live and direct from the waiting room of the afterlife.

[David Tennant]

Oh, right, yes.

[Georgia Tennant]

Purgatory is a bit like, well, the dentist's waiting room because there's like a unique scent of like terrified souls, the impending fear of the unknown, the gargles of mouthwash and regret.

[David Tennant]

I've got lots of gargles of regret.

[Georgia Tennant]

Still, it's all worth it for the sugar free lollipop. Is it? I sort of feel like sugar's quite important with the lollipop. Otherwise what have you got left?

[David Tennant]

Not after the dentist. That's the point.

[Georgia Tennant]

I know. But then you've got six months where you can sort of feel good about yourself for two weeks and then feel.

[David Tennant]

Inevitably and then start flossing furiously in the week before you.

[Georgia Tennant]

In the last sort of 25 minutes.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. Welcome to Where There's a Will that's Awake. The Purgatory season.

[David Tennant]

Where there's a will, there's a wake up Purgatory season. It's a high end podcast.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, we don't have jingles on our podcast. Can we get some jingle?

[David Tennant]

I think it's far too late.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, and now please be upstanding while we welcome this tenant out of 10.

[David Tennant]

Oh, stealing. That's the only thing you did there.

[Georgia Tennant]

Guest to the underworld is of course the love of my afterlife.

[David Tennant]

Wow, that really goes on.

[Georgia Tennant]

Already milked that.

[David Tennant]

I really milked my jingle. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Gross. Do you bleep that out?

[David Tennant]

Do you have a jingle?

[Georgia Tennant]

Do I have a jingle?

[David Tennant]

Come on. Oh, yours is better than I think mine might be.

[Georgia Tennant]

Shorter, though.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, but it's sort of referencing another tune with your name in it. It's like a little. There's a little musical gag in there.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, okay. I quite like that.

[David Tennant]

That was very nice. It's goodier, innit?

[Georgia Tennant]

I'd like that. Whenever I enter a room for there just to be that playing, I'd have to have it maybe in my pocket, just always on in my mind.

[David Tennant]

In my mind there's always a heavenly choir Whenever you enter a room.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, that's so sweet. But when. This is not about us being nice to each other.

[David Tennant]

Oh, okay.

[Georgia Tennant]

This is about you dying.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Welcome, David.

[David Tennant]

Thank you, Georgia.

[Georgia Tennant]

How are you?

[David Tennant]

Well, clearly not very well. It looks like I'm on my way out.

[Georgia Tennant]

Well, no, but it might be sort of a surprise.

[David Tennant]

I hope it's not.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do you think most deaths are surprises?

[David Tennant]

No, I think most deaths are. Well, every death is inevitable.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is that really quickly? Let's move back. No bit. Right. Sorry. More importantly, why are you here? What do you want to plug?

[David Tennant]

Oh, I don't want to plug anything. I'm just happy to be here.

[Georgia Tennant]

I've been asked to ask you, what do you want to plug? You have to plug our.

[David Tennant]

What am I meant to say?

[Georgia Tennant]

Our podcast. Oh, that's literally the whole point. Is that why we're doing this? I thought it was just fun. No, no, you don't always. I mean, obviously it is fun.

[David Tennant]

You don't always have to plug something.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, no, I think you do. I think that is the point.

[David Tennant]

Am I not understanding the corporate world?

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, I don't think you are.

[David Tennant]

Oh, okay.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. Why are you here?

[David Tennant]

Well, we do. We've got a podcast. It's called David Tennant does a podcast with. And it's.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's pretty self explanatory.

[David Tennant]

It's much lower concept than this. This has got a lot. This has got a lot going on, this one. This is good.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. We should have upped our game.

[David Tennant]

There's no structure in our podcast. When you say plugging it, how am I doing?

[Georgia Tennant]

Terrible. Yeah, I can swear. Shit.

[David Tennant]

Oh, yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Really, really shit.

[David Tennant]

There's lots of good guests on it.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do you want to name some of them from this season?

[David Tennant]

From this season. Most recently Rosamund Pike, Celia Emery, Stanley Tucci, Russell T. Davis.

[Georgia Tennant]

Excellent.

[David Tennant]

Jamila Jamil, Ben Schwartz. But we go way back. I mean, there's quite a few episodes, you know, in the bank that you can. They're all still available.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. Yeah. That's the thing with podcasts. They're around forever.

[David Tennant]

Whoopi Goldberg, Olivia Coleman. Judi Dench.

[Georgia Tennant]

Speaking of around forever. Should we get on with the podcast?

[David Tennant]

Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's enough plugging.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. Right, nobody move, because we're going to talk food and death and all that jazz. But first, a very brief word from these guys.

[David Tennant]

Don't go anywhere. We'll be back after this short break.

[Georgia Tennant]

This is an advertisement from BetterHelp.

[David Tennant]

Hi, Georgia.

[Georgia Tennant]

Hi, David.

[David Tennant]

You know when you think you're fine and then suddenly you realise that your jaw has been clenched for like three hours straight?

[Georgia Tennant]

Or you're lying awake at 3am because your brain's decided that that is the perfect time to replay every awkward thing you've ever said?

[David Tennant]

Exactly. For a long time, I don't think I really understood that that was anxiety. I thought that was just what it was to be an adult.

[Georgia Tennant]

You know what gets me is that creeping feeling like you're always behind, even when you're doing.

[David Tennant]

And then your body goes, oh, well, since you're not listening to me, here's a massive headache and some heartburn.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's like your brain and your body team up to say, right, let's just shut the whole system down until they get the message.

[David Tennant]

But we're so used to just getting on with it, aren't we? Like, being stressed is somehow normal.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, but it doesn't have to be.

[David Tennant]

No.

[Georgia Tennant]

Sometimes the best thing you can do is slow down and actually talk to someone.

[David Tennant]

Therapy can really help with that. Not just in crisis moments, but for learning how to cope, how to set boundaries, how to feel more like yourself. Again.

[Georgia Tennant]

85% of BetterHelp therapists specialise in anxiety and 69% of people say their symptoms improved after just six weeks.

[David Tennant]

That can really make a difference.

[Georgia Tennant]

Look at you, getting all wise every now and again. Alright, here's the important bit.

[David Tennant]

As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Get the tools to manage your anxiety with BetterHelp and our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Tennant that's betterhelp.com T E N-N-A-N-So DT hi.

[Georgia Tennant]

Before we get to your end.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Let's begin with. Stop it. You're so gross. Right, okay, so you're dressing my end. Oh, my God. Is I do your podcast with a child. So sorry. I'm so sorry, listeners. This isn't normally your sort of class.

[David Tennant]

I usually cover all this up.

[Georgia Tennant]

You talking about your end Again. Okay. What are you stuffing in your face before you cark it?

[David Tennant]

I sort of went through a variety of options. I thought, you know, there's the sort of. The steak tartare option, there's the kind of chateaubriand, there's the very fancy meal that you only have once. But I thought, I think I'd just like a big bowl of mini eggs. I love a mini egg. A Cadbury's mini egg.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, I agree with you, but. But don't you think. Am I allowed to have an opinion on your last scenario? Okay, good. I think you can have too many mini eggs, though.

[David Tennant]

I. Well, I don't think you can, because I was thinking about it. I've never had enough mini eggs. I. I've come to the point where I've stopped eating many eggs.

[Georgia Tennant]

Because you feel bad about yourself.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, because I've had 26. That's probably enough. But really, if there was absolutely no limit to it, I could just keep. It would be interesting in that last moment where it didn't matter anymore to test how many mini eggs I could have before I'd had enough mini eggs, because I've never reached that threshold.

[Georgia Tennant]

But at some point, you are going to have to die. So if the answer is there is no end to it, you're never going to die. And this podcast is pointless.

[David Tennant]

I think as established by history, death is inevitable.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, but what if it takes you, like, a year to eat the amount of vignettes that it would take you to eat?

[David Tennant]

What's the concept? Do I not know that this is my last supper?

[Georgia Tennant]

I don't know what the concept. This isn't my podcast.

[David Tennant]

Oh, okay.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is the. Well, the concept can be whatever you.

[David Tennant]

Want it to be, with an assumption that I know death is relatively imminent.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay.

[David Tennant]

I would just keep eating mini eggs until I couldn't eat any. Any more mini eggs.

[Georgia Tennant]

But then it would be about the fact that you were dying, which was the reason that you stopped eating the mini eggs, rather than because you became bored of mini eggs, which would actually stop the.

[David Tennant]

Unless it's the mini eggs that kill me.

[Georgia Tennant]

Well, we're gonna move on to that.

[David Tennant]

Ah, okay.

[Georgia Tennant]

I'm now supposed to say it sounds finger licking good, but I don't think a massive bowl of never ending mini eggs does sound finger licking good.

[David Tennant]

No.

[Georgia Tennant]

Also, actually, there's no debris, is there?

[David Tennant]

There's no sort of residue you want to put it. And that's when a mini egg really works for me. When you place it whole inside yourself.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, stop.

[David Tennant]

That's what you do.

[Georgia Tennant]

Alright, yeah, fine, carry on.

[David Tennant]

Ideally, sort of break it down with perhaps a hot cup of tea.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do you heat up the tongue first and then. Oh, yeah, that's quite nice.

[David Tennant]

Maybe heat up the tongue, but just sort of wash over the mini egg until it slowly melts itself around within you.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's gonna take a really long time for you to get through a fucking packet of mini eggs if that's your.

[David Tennant]

Whatever puts off the inevitable.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, all right, fine. So that's it? Just mini eggs, nothing else?

[David Tennant]

I'm just gonna go with mini eggs. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. So.

[David Tennant]

And I'm not being paid for this, by the way.

[Georgia Tennant]

No. But we should probably test it out by getting an enormous amount of mini eggs sent to our house.

[David Tennant]

Listen, if Cadburys want to. Want to. If we want to explore a collab.

[Georgia Tennant]

I feel like Putting It Gently Inside Yourself is an excellent jingle. Maybe we could get the jingle people here to do a jingle putting It Gently Inside. It's really good. It's moving.

[David Tennant]

Well, there's the trailer for this episode sorted right there.

[Georgia Tennant]

But now it's time for the death. So you're dead.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Which is really sad.

[David Tennant]

Oh, thanks, babe.

[Georgia Tennant]

Well, yeah, we'll see. How did it happen?

[David Tennant]

Well, if it's not death by many eggs, I suppose I'd like it to happen. I suppose it would be nice if one's death was caused by some heroic act. Like if I could do something that I would never in life as, you know, Georgia. Cause we have met previous to this. I'm a slave to guilt.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, yeah.

[David Tennant]

But if I could do something that would otherwise give me a lot of guilt but would be useful to humanity, this would be the moment to do that. Cause hopefully, presumably after death, one doesn't suffer from guilt.

[Georgia Tennant]

We'd hope so.

[David Tennant]

So I'm thinking I could use my. The act of my death to better humanity. I'm thinking I'm taking someone out.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh. Oh, wow.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, I'm thinking, I mean, I need to make sure I kill myself in the process. You know, there are bad people in various places around the world. Some dictator somewhere, you know.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, interesting.

[David Tennant]

You know, I don't want to say any names in case they put a sort of bounty on my head. I mean, the truth is this is never going to happen.

[Georgia Tennant]

There was a funny gag there about a bounty and mini eggs. I feel like we should have done.

[David Tennant]

Something there, but we didn't come back and.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, but just. I'm just. I'm just. I'm noting that there was a gag that we didn't do. Yeah, carry on.

[David Tennant]

Anyway, I'm thinking, yes. Some heroic act that betters humanity.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. Yeah.

[David Tennant]

And I go down in a blaze of. A blaze of crusading glory.

[Georgia Tennant]

I mean, that's. Yeah, it's worthy, isn't it?

[David Tennant]

Yeah. Okay.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. How might you take someone out?

[David Tennant]

I don't. I have no idea.

[Georgia Tennant]

With an enormous amount of mini eggs.

[David Tennant]

With some mini eggs. If you sort of think about, you know, the person who, in 1933, could have taken out Hitler with an act of selflessness.

[Georgia Tennant]

I see.

[David Tennant]

I'd like to be that person.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. Yeah. All right.

[David Tennant]

Would you be proud of me, do you think? Would that.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think you'd leave me and the family in quite a tricky position.

[David Tennant]

Oh. Cause they might come for you.

[Georgia Tennant]

We'd have to change our names and move to Stoke on Trent or something.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

And not there now. Cause I've said it. So they'd look there.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. I mean, like I say, it's selfish.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is it?

[David Tennant]

I was trying to be selfless.

[Georgia Tennant]

No, because then you'd be. And also, this is the thing. I think there's quite a high risk of it going wrong.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, there's a high risk of it going wrong. Let's not do that. Let's just go for death by mini eggs. After all, if I could kill myself by gorging on mini eggs, I mean.

[Georgia Tennant]

That'D be a pretty great way to go.

[David Tennant]

It'd be a great witch.

[Georgia Tennant]

And also, can you imagine the content I'd get out of that? Be like, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's demise. How did it happen? Yeah, it was mini eggs. Do you think you would get a lifetime supply?

[David Tennant]

A lifetime supply of mini eggs or do you think they would just keep really far away from you because actually you're a bit toxic to the brand.

[Georgia Tennant]

Then I think I'd have to hashtag it so much that the only way they could deal with it is to own it.

[David Tennant]

Right. Would you eat many eggs if they took me away? No.

[Georgia Tennant]

But then I wouldn't be as careless to eat like a never ending bowl of mini eggs.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. I'm only 2.

[Georgia Tennant]

And I'm impressed that you went 28 before you went, oh, I've got to stop. I think I'm like four or five.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, yeah, you are only about four or five. I'm not. I can't stop with a mini egg.

[Georgia Tennant]

You need to get the little bags now. They do. The little bags.

[David Tennant]

I know. They're so annoying, though. Yes. I mean, yes, they have A practical purpose, but Jesus.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, well, moving on from this clearly Easter special death that's happening. How do you think everyone feels about your death? What are your colleagues responses to your death? If you were in the middle of filming something, who's taking over? You know, like sometimes in Neighbours, some one actor would walk through a door and then something would happen with that actor, and then another actor would come through as the same character. Who's that person?

[David Tennant]

Are we looking for someone who is a sort of doppelganger or just someone who needs a gig?

[Georgia Tennant]

I'd like both options. As a casting director, I'd like to know the two different ways I could go doppelganger.

[David Tennant]

First, Nicholas Lyndhurst.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, not Louis Theroux.

[David Tennant]

He's not an actor. Why?

[Georgia Tennant]

Doesn't matter.

[David Tennant]

Why doesn't it matter? What show am I in? Where the acting skills are matter zero.

[Georgia Tennant]

Well, the sort of show where one person walks in one door and then a different actor walks through and no one ever says anything.

[David Tennant]

All right, then Louis Theroux or Richard Hammond.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, yeah. Also not an actor.

[David Tennant]

Also not an actor.

[Georgia Tennant]

They could be on rotation. They could be in rep. You'd never.

[David Tennant]

You wouldn't notice. They're entirely interchangeable.

[Georgia Tennant]

And then someone who could do a. Like a good actor. Who would you like to replace?

[David Tennant]

Oh, who'd I like to replace?

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

Mmm. Bradley Whitford.

[Georgia Tennant]

I thought you were gonna say Bradley Walsh.

[David Tennant]

No, not Bradley. Listen, Bradley Walsh. He's welcome. But I'll be gone. I won't care. But Bradley Whitford is.

[Georgia Tennant]

See the one from that show you.

[David Tennant]

Like from the West Wing.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, Okay.

[David Tennant]

I love a bit of Bradley.

[Georgia Tennant]

All right, well done. Good.

[David Tennant]

He's very busy, though. He does not need a job. Maybe someone who really needs a job.

[Georgia Tennant]

I know, well, yeah, but don't. Don't name anyone.

[David Tennant]

No, no, no.

[Georgia Tennant]

Because that would be rude.

[David Tennant]

No, no, no, no, no. Absolutely not.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, so imagine that you're. You're watching your life, not Bradley Walsh or Whitford all the way through on the big screen with all of the ups and downs.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

What's the one thing that you definitely wouldn't do again? I'd also like to know what job you wouldn't do, because I know what it is, but I'd like to know what you think it is and also which bit of your life you wouldn't do again. Is there like a moment you're like, oh, I'd like to cut that out.

[David Tennant]

Or you mean what job that I have done?

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, like asking this is a two part question.

[David Tennant]

I wouldn't.

[Georgia Tennant]

I don't regret in the professional.

[David Tennant]

I don't regret any of my professional choices. You clearly do.

[Georgia Tennant]

There's anyone.

[David Tennant]

There's only one. Oh, yeah. I do not regret that.

[Georgia Tennant]

I know you don't because you got a lovely friend out of it.

[David Tennant]

I got a lovely friend out of it. Let's not mention what it is.

[Georgia Tennant]

No one knows except that one lovely friend to what we're talking about. I'm not saying it.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

And if you're looking back at your life then, on like a personal thing, what would you be like? Oh, check on that.

[David Tennant]

There was a moment we were together.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is it me? Because I don't think this is the time and place for that. That'd be awkward.

[David Tennant]

This is how I told you I was leaving you.

[Georgia Tennant]

This is exactly the setting I imagined. Candles aren't even fucking real. So sad.

[David Tennant]

At least this film for the children to watch. Yeah, that is true. There was a moment. I think it must have been about 12 years ago.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, God.

[David Tennant]

I think must have been late morning on a Saturday.

[Georgia Tennant]

Wow.

[David Tennant]

And I got a phone call from my agent. Very unusual for a Saturday, going, what are you doing tonight? Do you remember this?

[Georgia Tennant]

No.

[David Tennant]

What are you doing tonight? Bruce Forsythe's had a little fall. Oh, he can't do Strictly tonight.

[Georgia Tennant]

I remember that.

[David Tennant]

Are you free to present Strictly Come Dancing? I remember going, what? What? I mean, what an extraordinary thing to be asked. And then I sort of ran around for a couple of hours going, am I free tonight? Do I want to present Strictly Come Dancing? And by the time, I think we'd had a conversation about it and figured out that actually I probably could go to TV Center, I phoned back and they went, don't worry, Ronnie Corbett's doing it.

[Georgia Tennant]

Brilliant.

[David Tennant]

So I slightly regret that two hours where I didn't leap up on it, leap on an opportunity that was never going to come my way again. I mean, I don't know if I'd have been any good at it. Don't really watch Strictly Come Down.

[Georgia Tennant]

I've never seen any.

[David Tennant]

I wouldn't have known what I was talking about.

[Georgia Tennant]

Much like me right now.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, yeah. But there was something about the kind of, what an extraordinary thing to be asked to do.

[Georgia Tennant]

So that that's less of an edit, it's more like a sliding doors moment is what you're wanting to insert into your life, isn't it?

[David Tennant]

Or is that the question.

[Georgia Tennant]

What wouldn't you do again? I mean, I suppose you wouldn't wander around the house for two hours.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, I suppose.

[Georgia Tennant]

But in terms of like an edit.

[David Tennant]

In terms of a film of your life, I would remove. That's not something I want to. The things I would remove from my life. And they're pretty far and few. Few and far between, but they're not things I would want to admit on a podcast.

[Georgia Tennant]

I know all of them.

[David Tennant]

I dare say you do. Yeah, you're right.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think the sliding doors moment's more interesting, though. I think I'm gonna say that's fine.

[David Tennant]

You're restructuring the whole podcast as you go.

[Georgia Tennant]

Just this little section, I think that's all right.

[David Tennant]

You are fearless, Georgia.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think it's okay.

[David Tennant]

This is why I married you. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. While I try and get my head around your sad demise. Did that sound like I was actually sad? I don't think so.

[David Tennant]

Do you think you would be sad?

[Georgia Tennant]

To be honest, if you'd gorged yourself to death on mini eggs, I'd just be quite fucked off with you. Yeah, but we've got five kids. What the fuck do you think you're doing?

[David Tennant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

So, no, I. Well, I probably would inevitably be sad because then we wouldn't be there. But I think I'd spend a large portion of the first couple of years just being really cross.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

But I'm gonna act it like I'm sad.

[David Tennant]

Okay.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay.

[David Tennant]

David, that's lovely. This is why you're such a good.

[Georgia Tennant]

While I try and get my head around you.

[David Tennant]

Look at that.

[Georgia Tennant]

We're just.

[David Tennant]

Now we're in size.

[Georgia Tennant]

Demise.

[David Tennant]

Oh, my. I'm. I'm welling up.

[Georgia Tennant]

Let's hear from one of the listeners in.

[David Tennant]

Now to sing. God, they're good, aren't they?

[Georgia Tennant]

Really good.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, so who have we heard from this week?

[David Tennant]

Lou in Christchurch, New Zealand.

[Georgia Tennant]

Ooh, far away.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. Hi all at Death hq. I thought I'd write to you with my very own Bridget Jones tarts and vicars tale. That's a reference to the.

[Georgia Tennant]

I've seen it multiple times.

[David Tennant]

Yep. I've been living in New Zealand for 20 plus years, but came back to my hometown in Kent last year for an old friend and colleague's funeral. He was a lovely guy who took me under his wing as a confused and calamitous 20 year old. So I wanted to pay my respects and tick off seeing some of the family too. I flew in the afternoon before the funeral the following morning, so didn't have time to touch base with anyone. I put on my celebration of life outfit and headed to the crematorium. Except when I walked in, I was greeted by a room of confused looking people wearing head to toe muted tones. There I was in a silk fuchsia pink shirt, a Hawaiian lei, and bright red cheeks. At that moment, I spotted my bright bastard friend. That's in capitals. Who was just about the only other person I knew at the funeral. He had been the one who had forwarded, and I'm doing quotation marks there, who had forwarded me the details of the service, which said in bold, please wear bright colors. He could barely sit up on spotting me. He was laughing so hysterically. I sunk down next to him, cursing him through my own repressed hysterical laughter. I did get some compliments at the wake on my outfit. None quite as forward as Geoffrey was to Bridget, though. Thank God. Parp, parp. I don't think I understand that right now.

[Georgia Tennant]

That's because you haven't watched a loads of times.

[David Tennant]

Naturally, I'm plotting my revenge. Any ideas? I'm all ears. Love the show. I listen with my morning coffee and it makes my day. And that's love from Lou in New Zealand. I'm not sure how good a friend that is. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think you should get some other friends.

[David Tennant]

That's pretty brutal to stitch you up at somebody's funeral.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. Cause like, a party would be different.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

A funeral. That's a whole other level.

[David Tennant]

It really is.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

That's dark painted herself with bright red cheeks and she's wearing a lei around her neck. That is a lot.

[Georgia Tennant]

It is a lot. Does that ever happen to you or you've worn the wrong thing in the wrong setting?

[David Tennant]

Yeah. Do you remember we went to that wedding and I didn't know it was black tie.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. Because I didn't forward on the email.

[David Tennant]

I didn't forward on the email.

[Georgia Tennant]

To be honest. You didn't get your own invitation, though, which in itself was a little rude.

[David Tennant]

I was your plus one and I had no idea.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

And I went quite casual. Everybody else was in proper full on dicky boos.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. Also because they were American. So when they took it really seriously.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Black tie in America is. It's no joke.

[David Tennant]

And somebody had a spare.

[Georgia Tennant]

My cousin had a spare tie in his pocket.

[David Tennant]

Your cousin's spare bow tie in pocket.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's like a comedy tie.

[David Tennant]

One of those little comedy ones that you sort of pin on. So I sat there for the whole day wearing an inappropriate suit with a bow tie.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, it was fun.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Loved it. So thank you for your fantastic email, Lou and listeners if you want to get your.

[David Tennant]

I've got one more regret.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, here he is again. Go on.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. Is this a regret or is this. Oh, no, we've done regrets, haven't we?

[Georgia Tennant]

No, go on.

[David Tennant]

You sure?

[Georgia Tennant]

I'll let you have one more.

[David Tennant]

I don't know if this is a regret because I don't. I don't think I would do it any differently, but before we met. Oh, no, back in the day.

[Georgia Tennant]

Bg.

[David Tennant]

Bg. Yeah, I did. I. I was told that I had won Rear of the Year. One year. We're talking 2005, something like that. I got Rear of the. I was absolutely delighted, thrilled. And was all ready to accept this honor until I found that the precondition was you had to do a photo shoot in a specific pair of jeans exhibiting said rear. And I felt. I don't think. I don't think I can. I don't think I can swallow my own embarrassment enough to do the photo shoot. At which point the award for Reader of the Year was taken off me and given to someone else who was.

[Georgia Tennant]

Willing to get in the jeans.

[David Tennant]

Who was willing to get in the jeans and coyly shove a cheek to camera.

[Georgia Tennant]

Wow.

[David Tennant]

So I regret that. Although I still wouldn't have wanted to do the photoshoot if they tried to.

[Georgia Tennant]

Give it to you now. Not that it exists, because it's weird. No. I mean, you wouldn't be able to get away with that now, would you? I don't know if I can Rear of the Year.

[David Tennant]

I'm sure there are better rears around now, would you?

[Georgia Tennant]

Would you? No. You got a lovely bum.

[David Tennant]

Thanks, darling.

[Georgia Tennant]

But would you do it now?

[David Tennant]

Do I still have to do the photo shoot? Yeah, I don't wanna do the photo shoot.

[Georgia Tennant]

You just put on the award all the time, though.

[David Tennant]

Only for you in private.

[Georgia Tennant]

No, you do it at conventions. Like it's all over the Internet.

[David Tennant]

Oh, do I?

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

What pause are you thinking? It's the sort of looking back coyly over the shoulder. Yeah, yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

That is definitely on the Internet. No, I've definitely. The listener's gonna send it in, tag me in it, then I can show him.

[David Tennant]

Okay.

[Georgia Tennant]

But. Yeah, okay, that's a sort of. It's a semi regret.

[David Tennant]

It's a semi regret.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. Right. Thank you, Lou, for your fantastic email and listeners. If you want to get your mail read out on the podcast by one of the Purgatory guests, the email address is emaileathpodcast.co.uk. me and David will be going through more of your Correspondence over on Six Feet Under. So if you don't hear your email here, please make sure you subscribe on Apple podcasts or head to where there's a will, there's awake.com for all the details.

[David Tennant]

I like your hosting Persona.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do you?

[David Tennant]

It's quite hot.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is it? Yeah. I feel like I'm dressed like a sort of seven year old today, though.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. But I'm just listening to it because.

[Georgia Tennant]

You'Re just closing your eyes. Imagine she's wearing something different. What am I wearing in your head?

[David Tennant]

We don't want you to go into that.

[Georgia Tennant]

Nothing. Right then, Mr. Tennant, you are just.

[David Tennant]

A little bit stern. Your hosting Persona's just a little bit stern.

[Georgia Tennant]

Well, I just like to get to the spit spot. You're quite chaotic.

[David Tennant]

Oh, sorry.

[Georgia Tennant]

So I feel like. No, no, just in life. So I feel like I have to sort of steer. Um, right then, Mr. Tennant, you are dead as a dodo.

[David Tennant]

Oh, yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

So what is happening at the funeral? So I'd like you to tell us about the service.

[David Tennant]

Right.

[Georgia Tennant]

Are you gonna go tradish or are you gonna go, like, edgy?

[David Tennant]

I don't really know. I mean, I suppose the thing about funerals is it's not really for you, is it? It's for helping anybody that's left behind who gives a shit about you to cope. So I don't know what. I wouldn't want to be too prescriptive about it.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. But the last thing I want is you die and you have to organize it. Yeah, yeah, I don't want to have to do that. I don't know what your favorite song is.

[David Tennant]

We've Never Barely Met.

[Georgia Tennant]

I don't listen to that.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

So, you know, you need to give me. I'd like a. In fact, actually, I'm just going to make notes now. What do you want?

[David Tennant]

I'm torn because I sort of want to make it because there's nothing more annoying and I don't just mean funerals, but when anyone goes, oh, I'm having a gathering and you have to get a plane. Three weeks on Thursday. And I'd like to make it convenient for everyone.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. Cause also you'd be like, rotting by then.

[David Tennant]

Well, yeah, exactly. Well, there's the practical considerations. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think it's a week most.

[David Tennant]

It's a week tops.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

I suppose somewhere where most people could get to.

[Georgia Tennant]

Somewhere within sort of zone one, some sort of hub.

[David Tennant]

Probably a service station, something, you know, because then it's easy for everyone.

[Georgia Tennant]

What about the one that we go to with the kids.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Should we raise that one? Yeah, the one just outside London.

[David Tennant]

Okay, that's not gonna make sense to anyone.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do you want some context?

[David Tennant]

Our children love nothing more than a car picnic.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. And they like to go and pick their own lunch.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

And where can you pick a lunch? And right next door is a car park, A service station.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

So we get in the car, we drive to the immediate service station outside London. They pick their lunch, and then we sit in the car park and eat it. And then we drive home again.

[David Tennant]

Then we're home in 20 minutes, so.

[Georgia Tennant]

And there's actually. There's a hotel there.

[David Tennant]

That's it. Oh, yeah. I've never been inside the hotel, but that's perfect.

[Georgia Tennant]

Lovely. Great. Okay, so service station.

[David Tennant]

Service station. Quite close to where we live.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, great. I'm writing this all down so I can remember.

[David Tennant]

Or Millport.

[Georgia Tennant]

That's far too far away.

[David Tennant]

That is really far away. That's the sort of sentimental version. Millport is a small village on the. Well town. Is that a town or a village? On the isle of Cumbri, which is off the west coast of Scotland, which is where I spent every childhood holiday. There's a rock on the sort of beach on the main high street. There's a rock painted like a crocodile. The crocodile rock. I'd quite like to incorporate that in the service. You'd have to watch the tides, though. Cause it gets surrounded by water at high tide.

[Georgia Tennant]

Well, maybe that's how we could send you off. Pop you a little.

[David Tennant]

Oh, that's a nice idea. Like Kirk Douglas in the Viking film. Sure. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

I know who any of those people are.

[David Tennant]

You could send me off and set fire to me.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, I quite like the idea of that.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. All right.

[David Tennant]

Off the crocodile Rock. That's nice.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

So either the service station near our house or Millport.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay.

[David Tennant]

Just giving you options. I'm giving you choices.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's nice. I've got two budget options.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

And then my next question is, how are you getting. Oh, this is gonna have to have two answers because you've done an annoying thing. We're having two different funerals. How are you getting to both of them?

[David Tennant]

Well, if it's the service station, there's a variety of options. You can just drive. It's like 20 minutes from our house. Okay. Get an Uber. You could probably walk it if you set off long early enough. But you have to get a ferry to Millport.

[Georgia Tennant]

A ferry, yeah. Okay, but what my actual question is, how are you getting There.

[David Tennant]

Well, I'd have to go on the ferry too.

[Georgia Tennant]

Not necessarily you. We could helicopter you in.

[David Tennant]

Let's not destroy the environment for the sake of my funeral.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, fine. So you're getting on the ferry with the rest of us. We're just taking you.

[David Tennant]

Just put me in your hand luggage.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, fine. So if you are hand luggage, presumably I'm burning you.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. I mean, again, I'm very unsentimental about what I become after death. I think once it's over, it's over and I'm very happy to just be recycled. I'd quite like. I'd like everything that's usable to be used. So take any organs that are of any use you can give me to a medical training.

[Georgia Tennant]

It will also make you lighter for the hand luggage.

[David Tennant]

Exactly.

[Georgia Tennant]

Which is great.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. Use as many. Use up as much of me as you can and then get rid of the rest as. As efficiently as possible. That's what I'd like you to do.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. So after.

[David Tennant]

Don't try to be a bother. Georgia.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh. So Scottish Presbyterian.

[David Tennant]

Thank you.

[Georgia Tennant]

Right, so once I've removed all of your organs and shaved your head. Cause you got a great head of hair.

[David Tennant]

Oh, you give that away, shouldn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.

[Georgia Tennant]

Wigged apartment somewhere.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Am I dressing you in something or are you? Yeah, like what would you wear?

[David Tennant]

Do you know what you could dress me in? One of the lovely things about being on productions is they will often, at the end of a shoot, you'll often be given. They'll often distribute wrap gifts which are often pieces of clothing.

[Georgia Tennant]

Right.

[David Tennant]

Often a T shirt or a fleece. If it's a very posh show, it might be a jacket or a little hat.

[Georgia Tennant]

So you're very, very dressed from the waist up.

[David Tennant]

Yes, you do.

[Georgia Tennant]

You've got 72 T shirts, couple of hats, quite a lot of backpacks.

[David Tennant]

Lot of backpacks, yeah. Some keep cups. I'd like to be dressed in the merch from all the shows I've done.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. So nude from the waist down.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. You might have to fashion something from a keep cup. From a keep cup.

[Georgia Tennant]

Pop it in a keep cup.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, great. I love it. It's a lovely, lovely image.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

And so we'll stick you in a, I don't know, a little suitcase.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

And then who's carrying the suitcase? So these would be your pallbearers in a traditional coffin like situation.

[David Tennant]

I might quite like some of the musicians that I've always liked who I've never really got to know. I'd sort of like them to turn up.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, could you name some of them?

[David Tennant]

Well, either you've got the Proclaimers on the front and the Pet Shop Boys on the back. I quite like that idea.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. Writing it down.

[David Tennant]

Or you just reunite the House Martins.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, nice.

[David Tennant]

Just have. Cause there was four of them. Actually, there was five of them.

[Georgia Tennant]

They could all take it in turns to wheel the little suitcase. Yeah, okay. Well, that sounds lovely.

[David Tennant]

I mean, they're getting on a bit now. I hope they've all still got good knees and stuff.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's a tiny little suitcase.

[David Tennant]

Oh, that's true.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's hand luggage.

[David Tennant]

Maybe it's just. Well, then maybe we don't need the Proclaimers and the Pet Shop Boys. Maybe just either of the pairs could do it.

[Georgia Tennant]

To be honest, if we're going to Mill Port, though, it's quite a long way, so they are gonna need to take it in turns.

[David Tennant]

Cause that's like a relay. Yeah, that's a nice idea. Yeah. So I'm in a wheelie suitcase. I've been sort of packed down into just the essentials and the mer. Yeah. And like the Olympic flame. A relay that could go up through the country.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

And end up on Millport.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, it's quite moving, isn't it?

[David Tennant]

Oh, it is. Don't go anywhere. We'll be back after this short break.

[Georgia Tennant]

Psst.

[C]

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[Georgia Tennant]

So let's say we're on this really, really long road trip to your.

[David Tennant]

It's going to be great.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, I'm so bored already.

[David Tennant]

The 80s finest pop stars.

[Georgia Tennant]

So what song are you going into? What's your death song? I mean, you're gonna have to have so many songs.

[David Tennant]

Well, yeah, there's lots of options for this, isn't there? And there are lots of songs that I associate with my own life that have become associated with my life. I did a thing the other night, like I was a guest on a sort of comedy thing in the Comedy Store and they played the Proclaimers. I would walk 500 miles at the end of it. Like it was sort of my theme tune.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, I think it has become my.

[David Tennant]

Theme, which has sort of become my theme, which. Listen, I love the Proclaimers, love that song. And I guess I've been associated with it in various places through my life. There are other Proclaimer songs I would choose before that.

[Georgia Tennant]

I know, but listen.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, I did.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, but if we're doing a. We're doing a coffin, a little suitcase coffin from London to Millport.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think that's a pretty apt song.

[David Tennant]

Oh, you're right.

[Georgia Tennant]

That on repeat, that's gonna get just boring. But listen, I think all the way.

[David Tennant]

Like a torture. Just that. The same song on a loop. I think if the House Martins and the Pet Shop Boys and the Proclaimers are all involved, it should be a medley of all their songs.

[Georgia Tennant]

So maybe you could bookend. We start out with that song and then they sing. Whoever those people are, sing their songs.

[David Tennant]

Do you know, the only thing I think would be quite nice though, as the coffin is going in, it'd be nice to have a bit of a sing along. And I was thinking 500 miles is an option. But I was thinking for the kids. I was thinking for the children.

[Georgia Tennant]

That's good of you.

[David Tennant]

What would. I would like them to have something to sing along to as the coffin. And then I thought, what do our kids. What is the only thing that our kids will sing along to in the car? It's the soundtrack to Wicked.

[Georgia Tennant]

Wicked.

[David Tennant]

And if we had Defying Gravity, then we could have a little coup de ta that as they start singing and everyone starts singing along, defying gravity, the coffin could rise up into the air.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. You know, it's a tiny suitcase.

[David Tennant]

Okay. Well, it's much easier to pull off. You could somehow rig some sort of.

[Georgia Tennant]

With the helicopter.

[David Tennant]

Defying gravity. And he's up. He's up. Da da da da. And I'm in air. I'm in thin air. I'm defying gravity as my final act.

[Georgia Tennant]

Wow. Quite the ego in death.

[David Tennant]

I just thought it'd be funny.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, lovely, lovely. I mean, suddenly the budget is insane.

[David Tennant]

It has got expensive.

[Georgia Tennant]

We're left with nothing. We're having to sell our house.

[David Tennant]

Oh, I don't want that.

[Georgia Tennant]

No, you get your lovely moment, though, up in the air, don't you?

[David Tennant]

I mean, it would be. We just thought it would be funny.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. We could probably do like a rig shot and then maybe you burst into flames and then it just. And with glitter.

[David Tennant]

Glitter. Exploding glitter bomb.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

Put it in the keep cup at.

[Georgia Tennant]

The end of a panto.

[David Tennant]

Pack it into the keep cup.

[Georgia Tennant]

Everyone's got their own keep cup and they have to catch it. Little bit to David I get to take home with them on the 500 mile walk back.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. Or the 20 minutes from the service station, depending on what we said to.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think we've moved on from the service station.

[David Tennant]

Have we? We're going from Millport.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

Great. The eulogy.

[Georgia Tennant]

Now, David, I know you're not expecting anyone to have said anything about you, but one person obviously couldn't resist. That's right. We have a eulog.

[David Tennant]

Obama.

[Georgia Tennant]

How did you guess? No. Oh, that's right.

[David Tennant]

Tony Blair.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, my God, would you stop? We have a eulogy.

[David Tennant]

Koffi and Anne.

[Georgia Tennant]

We have a eulogy from the one and only Michael Sheen. Here it is.

[David Tennant]

I was hoping for Kofi and Anne.

[E]

David John Tennant. Not, of course, his real name. He was actually christened Marmaduke John Tennant. But nevertheless, David Tennant was, of course, a name that came to symbolize a very particular kind of Englishness. Born in the small town of Bottom Bothering Feathergill in Shropshire before he moved to his adopted city of Glasgow during the war, he was evacuated there. Born, of course, in 1908, he was, by the end, Britain's longest living actor. But we don't want to dwell on that last decade of frankly quite embarrassing performances. Let's remember him for the good years, which some would say lasted for almost as long as two or three years in the 50s. He was, of course, one of the Doctors, some say the most disappointing of the doctors, but nevertheless, he was one of the doctors. And I'd like to remember him as someone who was constantly finding greatness and enthusiastically standing next to it. You will be missed, particularly because you owe me money. But beyond that, you will be missed, David John Tennant. Goodbye.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, well, there's no way I'm gonna get him to walk to Millport.

[David Tennant]

He's not coming to Millport.

[Georgia Tennant]

No, he's not coming.

[David Tennant]

No. He might come to the service station.

[Georgia Tennant]

Facetime in will.

[David Tennant]

He's never gonna read that speech out.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah, I've got it now, so I'll just use that.

[David Tennant]

Thank you, Michael.

[Georgia Tennant]

Thank you, Michael. Yeah. Ish. So my final funeral question, which I do think we've already covered slightly, but I'm gonna be quite spec, is.

[David Tennant]

I don't want to do either. Yeah, I don't want to do either. I want to do. Unless I can explode in a glitter ball, in which case, I suppose that's kind of cremated.

[Georgia Tennant]

It's kind of cremated, yeah.

[David Tennant]

Defying gravity.

[Georgia Tennant]

Are you going to do a pre recorded song?

[David Tennant]

I'm not going to sing it.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, you're not singing it?

[David Tennant]

No, no, no, no, no. Idina Menzel will be there. Idina Menzel and Cynthia Renal.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, nice.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, it's gone from very humble asks to quite a lot.

[Georgia Tennant]

It didn't take much, did it?

[David Tennant]

It didn't take much. It doesn't take much to stoke the old ego, does it?

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. You started on this journey with being like, I'm gonna kill a bad guy to make everyone's lives better. And now I'm like, I'm going out.

[David Tennant]

Just shove me in a ditch. No. Cynthia Erivo. Fuck that. Idina Menzel. Ariana Grande as well. Let's have all of them.

[Georgia Tennant]

Love it. Love it. Okay, what is on your. Well, you don't have a gravestone. Cause you're not. What's on the little luggage tag on your bag? What's that? What's the sort of. What's the. When it says, like, David was here. He's still here. What's it saying?

[David Tennant]

Still defying gravity. I don't know. I don't have any sort of.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do you have a catchphrase? Allonsy. You could have that.

[David Tennant]

I could have that. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

That's quite nice. Isn't it hard to spell? I realize I've tried to spell it a few times and I don't think I quite understand how.

[David Tennant]

I mean, you can definitely look it up. It's not definitely.

[Georgia Tennant]

I've got a lot on. I'm organizing like a whole now and trying to sell the house to fund it.

[David Tennant]

Just your best attempt at spelling Alonsi. Just shove that on. Doesn't matter what you. Anything will do.

[Georgia Tennant]

Great. Okay. Makes it easier. Let's move on to the wheel and the wake. Okay, so tell us about the wake.

[David Tennant]

In Scotland, we call it a pervy. Yeah. Which I think comes from, like, purveyor. The purveyor of food.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, that's all purvy.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. It's not. It's not. Yes. Dirty mind. No, Purvey.

[Georgia Tennant]

Purvey.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

How are you spelling that?

[David Tennant]

P, U, R, V, E, Y, I think.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, I see.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay.

[David Tennant]

So, yeah, we'd call it a pervey because we're in Millport.

[Georgia Tennant]

Sure.

[David Tennant]

And I guess it would be in the Crocodile Cafe, which is just across from the Crocodile Rock.

[Georgia Tennant]

We've been there.

[David Tennant]

Yeah, we've been there. I guess it would be in there. And everyone could have. Maybe everyone should have. Cause what I remember there from childhood is ice drinks where you'd get a big one of those long.

[Georgia Tennant]

Like a Coke float.

[David Tennant]

A Coke float, exactly. Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

What is the vibe of your pervy? Is everyone sad? No. Cause they've just listened to Idina Menzel and Siddha Revo and Aria Agna Grande.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. With the House Martins, the Petsho Boys and the Proclaimers as backup bands.

[Georgia Tennant]

Sort of thrilled that you're dead.

[David Tennant]

It's like a concert. It's like a. Yes. It's like Glastonbury. This could become an annual event. This could put Millport on the map.

[Georgia Tennant]

They could do it with each one of the doctors, couldn't they?

[David Tennant]

What if we all die in consecutive order?

[Georgia Tennant]

Not necessarily.

[David Tennant]

No, not consecutive order, but annually.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah.

[David Tennant]

That's tough though, then, because then as it starts winding down, if you're Jodie Whittaker left standing, you're going, what am I going to be? Put down.

[Georgia Tennant]

Be a bit like Celebrity Big Brother, where you start to go, who vote them out. And how would you like to be remembered at all? Oh, yeah, fair enough. Good answer. And now my next question is, is this coming out of your pocket? But obviously it's coming out of my pocket.

[David Tennant]

My pockets are empty. I'm not wearing any pockets anymore.

[Georgia Tennant]

No, you've got no pockets.

[David Tennant]

I've got a keep cup pocket.

[Georgia Tennant]

Keep cup. Fuck. Ton of T shirts on, looked at.

[David Tennant]

Fleeces and some hats.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, so.

[David Tennant]

So you're paying for it.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is it a free bar? No, because, I mean, can you imagine how much does a Coke float?

[David Tennant]

I don't know.

[Georgia Tennant]

How much was it in 1802?

[David Tennant]

Well, my parents paid for them back then, didn't they?

[Georgia Tennant]

I'll put 200 quid behind.

[David Tennant]

I think everyone gets a free Coke float.

[Georgia Tennant]

But if Everybody on the M1 that has queued from. I don't even know if you've got.

[David Tennant]

On the M1 ticketing it so it can be included. A Coke float included in the price of the ticket.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, that's true. So then it's not very well. They're actually paying me to come to your funeral.

[David Tennant]

Exactly.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, this is great.

[David Tennant]

This is working out.

[Georgia Tennant]

Yeah. So I can actually. I might end up being able to buy a house.

[David Tennant]

You can monetize this.

[Georgia Tennant]

I could monetize this. This is a great idea. Oh, suddenly this is quite exciting.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, fine. Okay. So then you have a will, you know, after somebody dies, then somebody in a sort of top hat and a suit comes out with a scroll.

[David Tennant]

I mean, I do have a will.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do you?

[David Tennant]

Yeah, you were there. Do you not remember?

[Georgia Tennant]

No. Am I in it?

[David Tennant]

I think you basically get everything.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is there anything that you want to specifically give someone that's not me, though? Just to make this podcast more interesting.

[David Tennant]

I'd like to give Michael Sheen some of my keep cups.

[Georgia Tennant]

Just one keep cup.

[David Tennant]

I just need to keep one.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay. From all of the productions that you were in, I'm just gonna turn up with a sort of van of keep cups, drop it outside his door.

[David Tennant]

Yeah. All the merchants that we don't use from productions I've been in. Give that to Michael.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is there anything that. Like skeletons in your closet that you haven't told anyone that I will find out once you're dead? Cause if you tell me now, then that won't happen. Is there anything that. Like when I'm cleaning out your sort of drawers next to your bed, am I gonna find something and go, I don't think so.

[David Tennant]

I think my drawers are fairly open to you.

[Georgia Tennant]

Is it euphemisms in there?

[David Tennant]

No.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, so we can do this. Actual drawers?

[David Tennant]

Yeah. I think you have full access to my drawers. Again, not a euphemism.

[Georgia Tennant]

Okay, so is there anything. You've got no secrets?

[David Tennant]

I don't think so. Have I? No problem. I'm literally asking you if I have any secrets. That's how transparent I am.

[Georgia Tennant]

Do I have any secrets, Georgia?

[David Tennant]

I can't remember.

[Georgia Tennant]

No, I don't think you do have any secrets.

[David Tennant]

No.

[Georgia Tennant]

And so your. You're dead, we've had a party, I'm bankrupt. What are your. What? What are your last words? What is the last thing that you want people to hear you say?

[David Tennant]

Do we have a jingle for that? Famous lost words. Was there a sell by date on those mini eggs?

[Georgia Tennant]

That is lovely.

[David Tennant]

Thank you.

[Georgia Tennant]

That was really, really good.

[David Tennant]

Thanks, baby.

[Georgia Tennant]

Although I don't think there is a sell by date on many eggs. Oh, they're encased in sugar and that's the problem.

[David Tennant]

I didn't realize how old they were.

[Georgia Tennant]

Oh, I see. So it wasn't the amount that you ate.

[David Tennant]

Well, we'll never know if there's no sell by date. That's why I'm querying it as I slip away. Was it the amount or was it something about the specific mini eggs? I'll just. I'll go to my grave worrying over that.

[Georgia Tennant]

Wow, you're quite an anxious person, aren't you? Right, so that. That is not the last thing that we've heard of David Tennant, listeners, because David will be joining me and the God have I got. Why are you looking at me like that?

[David Tennant]

Oh, I just know. It's just. I just love it, the way you take charge.

[Georgia Tennant]

All right, well, can I do it, then?

[David Tennant]

Yeah, go on.

[Georgia Tennant]

Thanks. Right, but that isn't the last that we've heard of David Tennant, listeners. Stop. Stop staring at me. It's awfully quite unnerving. Can I put something in it? Because David will be joining me and the goddess Charlie over on Six Feet under to Gravely.

[David Tennant]

I'm just looking at you through some.

[Georgia Tennant]

Of your dead good emails. I like this. So make sure you subscribe on Apple podcasts or head to where there's a will, there's a Wake.com to join the party. David, obviously, I'm devastated that you're gone. Yeah, I mean, probably. Obviously I am devastated, but it's just happened, so I'm Now I'm still quite in there. Although actually, to be fair, if the mini eggs wore off, I have a bit more sympathy for you rather than just sort of gorging on them. All I can think about is eating mini eggs now. I know I'm so susceptible to advertising.

[David Tennant]

I mean, the idea of mini eggs, it's always seducing, isn't it?

[Georgia Tennant]

As it's Takeaway Friday, she would just have mini eggs.

[David Tennant]

Yeah.

[Georgia Tennant]

So good. I had quite a nice time, though, organising your death and I made some lovely notes. So that's gonna make it much easier when you do actually die.

[David Tennant]

I mean, you see, easier. We've come up with some pretty hard asks.

[Georgia Tennant]

I think I'm probably gonna go with the service station option. You're listening to Where There's a Will Is Awake, the Purgatory Season with Georgia and David Tennant. The senior producer is Charlie Morell and the producer is Naia Dio, otherwise known as the Goddesses. The engineer is Matthias Torres, marketing by Kieran Lancini. The assistant Producer is Rani Prescott, the Production Coordinator is Eric Ryan and the Executive Producer is Ollie Wilson.

[F]

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