Aggressive Politeness with Sarah Chalke

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dear Chelsea — "Aggressive Politeness with Sarah Chalke" (March 19, 2026)

---

Episode Overview

In this engaging and candid episode of "Dear Chelsea," comedian Chelsea Handler is joined by actress Sarah Chalke, best known for her roles in Scrubs, Roseanne, and Rick and Morty. The conversation explores Canadian identity, the reboot of Scrubs, personal development across decades, navigating relationships, and advice for listeners on setbacks, parenting, and activism. The tone is witty, warm, and open, with both Chelsea and Sarah sharing personal stories and direct advice.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Canadian Roots, Politeness, and Identity

• Both Chelsea Handler and Sarah Chalke express gratitude for their Canadian backgrounds and discuss the cultural differences between Canadians and Americans, especially around civility and social interactions.
• Quote:
  • "These Canadians are just so nice. It's so weird. And their children are so lovely and engaged and sit at dinners and talk to the adults." — Chelsea Handler (08:01)
• Sarah jokes about Canadian children being briefed to impress Americans, highlighting the mix of kindness and good humor in Canada.
• The conversation humorously acknowledges the stereotype of ‘aggressive politeness.’

2. Dating, Love, and the ‘Super Swipe’ Mishap

• Sarah Chalke shares her recent experience of meeting her boyfriend after a long dating hiatus, recounting both her apprehensions and amusing misadventures with dating apps:
  • Accidentally using a ‘Super Swipe’ on Bumble, leading to deleting her account.
  • Ultimately her friends, both named Jen, set her up with someone adventurous—something she values highly in relationships.
• Quote:
  • "I want someone adventurous. I want someone who's up for it and wants to do shit with me." — Sarah Chalke (11:17)

3. Parenting, Fishing, and Gendered Dating App Photos

• Sarah’s son introduced her to fishing, which she does only occasionally.
• Chelsea jokes about the ubiquity of men posing with fish or borrowed dogs in dating app photos and shares the odd experience of finding her own photo on strangers’ profiles.
• Quote:
  • "If you took your head out of there, this would be a guy's dating app picture... half of them are holding fucking giant bass." — Chelsea Handler (15:09)

4. The Scrubs Reboot: Revisiting a Legacy

• Sarah delves into the excitement and surreal nature of returning to Scrubs 25 years later, with original cast members and new faces.
• The cast’s longstanding relationships foster genuine chemistry and collaboration on set. The new season was filmed in Vancouver, with weekly cast dinners enhancing camaraderie.
• Quote:
  • "You can hope when you start on a job you’ll all have chemistry, but you can’t manufacture history. And we actually have 25 years together." — Sarah Chalke (20:52)

5. From Roseanne to Scrubs: Early Career and Life Lessons

• Sarah describes landing her role on Roseanne as a teen—her first major gig—and the quirky audition process (including kissing scenes at age 16).
• Recounts anxiety over replacing a character and the trickiness of being a newcomer among TV legends like John Goodman.
• Notable Moment:
  • Both Chelsea and Sarah share autobiographical stories about telling tall tales as kids (“Mini Pops” and pretending to star in "Private Benjamin").

6. Aging, Self-Evolution, and the Myth of ‘Too Late’

• The conversation turns to embracing age, dismissing societal narratives about “peaking,” and the value of continuous self-growth:
• Quotes:
  • "The best time to plant an apple orchard was 25 years ago. The second best time is today." — Sarah Chalke, quoting her father (34:16)
  • "We were just talking about this... your age is not preventative of what your desires are." — Chelsea Handler (34:42)
• Both celebrate ‘ascension’ as a lifelong process, rejecting the idea that opportunities close as we age.

7. Listener Advice Segment

• [42:09] Caller: Elle — Seeks advice for her teenage son’s struggles with self-criticism in baseball.

  • Chelsea, co-host Katherine, and guest Jamie emphasize mental resilience, journaling, team spirit, and the role of meditation.
  • Sarah reflects on perfectionism and embraces the lessons from failure, underscoring that setbacks are vital for growth.
  • Quote:
    • "You learn so much more from failure than you do from your successes." — Sarah Chalke (46:46)

• The hosts advise flexibility in therapy, trying different modalities, and being a supportive, calm presence as a parent.

• [54:11] Caller: Nikki — Asks about boycotting US travel/products in light of political tensions.

  • Chelsea is firm: a boycott is meaningful only if it’s consistent. She suggests alternatives and shares her own experiences minimizing support for problematic corporations.
  • Quote:
    • "Your boycott is a boycott. No temporary boycotts... if you care about the state of the world, you have to boycott things altogether." — Chelsea Handler (55:03)

8. Advice, Reflections, and Takeaways

• The importance of open communication, adaptability, and self-compassion in parenting and personal growth.
• Lifelong learning, whether through returning to old skills (skiing, playing instruments) or trying new ones.
• The power of supportive friendships (the "Jens"), even in middle age.

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments (by Timestamp)

• Canadian Civility and Humor:
  • Chelsea: "Do you ever get bored by how nice everyone is?” (08:12)
  • Sarah: “Because we're also not just like, Canadians are fucking funny. Canadians like to have a good time.” (09:14)
• Dating App Disaster:
  • Sarah: “You just hit it by accident and it’s like you just super swiped on John... The only way to get rid of a super swipe is just delete the whole account.” (11:27)
• Scrubs’ Unique Reunion:
  • Sarah: “They built [the set] exactly the same... It was just such a trip. I felt like a step back in time.” (19:51)
• Empowering Aging:
  • Sarah: “My brain stopped at, like, 33.” (33:40)
  • Chelsea: “We are ascending until we die.” (36:51)
• Advice to the Perfectionist Athlete:
  • “All the high-end coaches all tell the players... We care about your body language.” — Jamie (45:39)
• Listener on Boycotting Travel:
  • Chelsea: “Cancel ChatGPT. Please. The only ethical [AI] is Anthropic.” (55:03)
  • Katherine: “Do it where it hurts.” (57:07)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:09] Chelsea & Katherine banter; Canadian origins and Whistler
• [09:32] Sarah’s relationship and dating stories
• [13:47] Fishing, parenting, dating app photo tropes
• [19:38] Scrubs reboot insights
• [22:03] Early career on Roseanne—audition stories, John Goodman, industry lessons
• [33:40] Aging, good/bad advice, the ‘never too late’ doctrine
• [42:09] Elle’s call about her perfectionist athlete son
• [54:11] Nikki’s dilemma: activism vs. family vacation
• [60:24] Scrubs streaming info and closing notes

---

Concluding Tone & Takeaways

Chelsea’s trademark irreverence anchors the episode, while Sarah’s sincerity and wit shine. There’s warm camaraderie as they share personal challenges, laugh about past embarrassments, and deliver grounded, actionable advice to their listeners. The pairing embodies a blend of humor, empathy, and authenticity—helping listeners feel seen, affirmed, and inspired to take real steps toward self-improvement, no matter their age or setbacks.

Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed human. This podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down, get energized and sharpen your focus. Verasity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues. With Verasity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try Metabolism ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergens. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism Ignite is safe for everyone including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before metabolism Ignites cells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iHeart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V E R A C I T Y Health Co for up to 65% off and make sure you use my promo code iheart home is your favorite place. Spring is when you let it feel a little bit more transportive. Discover vibrant scents inspired by places. Bright citrus, fresh florals, clean air energy designed to refresh your space without adding complexity. Just plug in, choose your scent and let the season unfold room by room. Explore the Spring collection [e-mail] if you're looking for a wine that's not just delicious but also a total crowd pleaser. Let me introduce you to Josh Sellars. This California wine brand has over a dozen award winning wines. From crisp Sauvignon Blancs to velvety Merlots. Josh Sellars has the perfect wine for every occasion. Serving up a juicy steak at your next barbecue. Their Cabernet Sauvignon is the perfect pairing. Unwinding with friends after a long week, you can you can't go wrong with their Pinot Grigio. With so many delicious wines to choose from, Josh Sellars has something for everyone. Josh Sellars is a proud sponsor of Dear Chelsea. Visit www.joshcellars.com Chelsea and join the Wine Club to get 20% off. Please drink responsibly.

[BetterHelp Announcer]

Did you know that 95% of divorces never go to trial? Meet the first private AI Divorce GPT Hallelujah. Trained by top legal and finance experts to answer your divorce questions day or night for free. Hallie has already guided over 6,000 people, giving them instant, confidential answers when they needed it most. When you're ready for more support, hello Divorce is here with smart technology and real experts to help you through the process. Faster, kinder, and more affordable. Meet hallie [e-mail] okay, guys, I am

[Chelsea Handler]

officially on my high and Mighty Tour. March 20 is Denver, Colorado. March 27, Portland, Maine. March 28, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10 is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12, Louisville, Kentucky. April 16 is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17 is Mesa, Arizona. April 23 is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24 is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25 is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1 is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2 is Durham, North Carolina. May 6, I'm doing Netflix is a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles. May 15, Saratoga, California. May 16, Monterey, California. May 17, Modesto, California. And then June 4, Portchester, New York. June 5 is Boston, Mass. And June 12 is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is June 13. I'm doing a second show at the Paramount Theater in Denver on Saturday, December 5th, so suck on that. Everybody. Go to chelseahandler.com for tickets. Hi, Katherine.

[Katherine]

Hi, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi. Hi.

[Elle (Caller)]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm good. I'm in Los Angeles. I'm happy to have you in person. Oh, thank you. Thank you. We were gonna do it at my house, but I had to replace my downstairs air conditioning.

[Katherine]

I know there's always something just when

[Chelsea Handler]

my house is finished. My house is finished, everybody. It's finished, finished, finished. But then I saw all these articles in the newspaper. Well, I didn't read the newspaper, but my publicist send me a roundup of, like, stuff, and apparently it's all over the news that I bought my toxic house from RFK Jr cause I must have said it. I think I said it on this podcast.

[Katherine]

Yes, several times. But you know what? We need the Etsy witches to know that it's not his house anymore, because I think they still keep cursing it over and over and over again.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, that's Etsy witches.

[Katherine]

Yeah. It's like, you can hire a witch on Etsy to, like, you know, get with your guy or whatever.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, I'm going over to Kimmel, so I'm gonna make an announcement there about my house and be like, please bless my house, everyone. Send me your good energy.

[Katherine]

I will spend $7 on Etsy to have a witch bless your house.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Okay. Thank you. I think. I think I added a second show in Denver. I'm coming back in the winter because I didn't want to do any two nighters. So I'm doing a second show at the Paramount Theater in Denver on Saturday, December 5th, and the pre sale starts Wednesday at 10:00am local time. Okay. So go get a ticket if you missed out for my show in Denver, which is this Friday. Anyway, we have a very cutie patootie Canadian guest today. She's from. You know her from Scrubs and Roseanne and Rick and Morty and more. Please welcome actress Sarah Chalk. Oh, there she is. Look at that beautiful face.

[Sarah Chalke]

Oh my God. Technology. Is it working? Can you guys hear me?

[Chelsea Handler]

We is. We is working. We be working and shit. We be jamming. I talk like this now that I'm back from Jamaica. I have so many different accents to pull from.

[Sarah Chalke]

I want to hear all about Jamaica. I can't believe the headphones, the micro like the zoot link. It's all working. It's all coming together to all be working to technology. And maybe I'm allergic to that.

[Chelsea Handler]

We're at the same age. We're both allergic to technology. I want to die before AI comes out. I just want to euthanize. I want a group euthanized. Do you want to do it with me?

[Sarah Chalke]

I'm in. We'll. We'll do it in Whistler, which is. I can see it's where you are. It's my favorite place in the whole world.

[Chelsea Handler]

Before you say another word, please, I'm going to interrupt you because I just learned this morning that you have a house in Whistler. How is that. How is it possible that I didn't know that?

[Sarah Chalke]

How are we not skiing together? Well. Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, how are we not skiing together?

[Sarah Chalke]

It's already love at first sight. I want to ski with you. I grew up. I learned to ski in Whistler like 45 years ago.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh my God. That's what I dreamed. That's where I dreamed to have grown up. All my friends that grow up here learned how to ski here about 45 years ago. So you probably know some of them.

[Sarah Chalke]

I probably do. It's crazy. We. Yeah, I grew up in Vancouver and so we would go up to Whistler on the weekends. Yeah, it's my favorite place.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's my favorite place too. I love. Especially right now. We're having a winter wonderland moment. We're about to get 50 centimeters tonight.

[Sarah Chalke]

I heard. I can't believe it. I'm actually in LA and I'm in a Hotel, as you can see. And I have like. And obviously this season has not been ideal yet. And so finally the snow is coming. I'm so jealous. So are you going to go like straight after this podcast and go literally out there?

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm wearing all of my bottoms that you can't see, my heated socks are on, I have my ski pants on. And I am going to. Yeah, we're going to run out the door and ski. I have a couple friends that are visiting, so it's. I haven't been here for a few weeks. So I came back and I'm like, oh, good, there's snow. Because as you know, we have all this rain problem now where it rains to the top of the mountain and then ruins all the fucking snow. But I just want to talk about, first of all, aren't you so grateful to be a Canadian?

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah, yeah, I am, I am. I mean, I'm actually dual now because I lived in LA 17 years, so I got my American citizenship when I was here.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, you might want to revert that right back to Canada, sister.

[Sarah Chalke]

I might just want to.

[Chelsea Handler]

My friends were out, we went over to my friend Ange's house for dinner last night and so there was a bunch of Canadians and my American friends, we left and they go, my God, these Canadians are just so nice. It's so weird. And I'm like, I know. And they're like, and their children are so lovely and engaged and sit at dinners and talk to the adults. And I'm like, I know. And they're like, this makes us feel like shit about our own kids. And I'm like, I know, I understand. Every year I come to Canada and I'm around my friend's kids and I'm like, wow, these kids could give all my friends in LA's kids a real run for their fucking money.

[Sarah Chalke]

It's cause we just say the Americans are coming. This is what you have to do. Just pretend to listen, pretend to be polite. We gotta live up to this. Just apologize a lot.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, be a good listener. There's just a level. It's a very civilized society and I really appreciate that, especially as an American and especially in present day, everything that's happening. I really appreciate the civility. And my friend goes, sometimes she goes, do you ever get bored by how nice everyone is? And I was like, that's a very interesting question. Do I get bored with people being like, no?

[Sarah Chalke]

Because we're also not just like, Canadians are fucking funny. Canadians like to have a good time.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh yeah, that's yeah, all the good stuff is in Canada, believe me. That's why. That's another component of my ability to stay here. So you're combining two things. People who like to party and people who are nice. So it's a jackpot situation.

[Sarah Chalke]

And there's, like, often snow.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, there's often snow. I just saw a picture of you. Here's something that I am not looking forward to ever happening in my life, so let's focus about it happening in yours. I saw a picture of you and your new, newish lover. You've had a boyfriend for about a year, right?

[Sarah Chalke]

Yes. Yeah. I met someone fantastic, which was so fun and so unexpected.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love that. I love what everyone always says whenever we meet someone. We're like. It was so unexpected because we're so not expecting to ever meet anyone that we would fall in love with.

[Sarah Chalke]

Totally. And I had. I kind of just started to try, like, I. And I was like, I think I'm ready to meet someone. I said to my friends, like, set me up with someone. And I would just be on dates and be like, is this. I had no frame of reference. I'd been 20 years. I'm like, is this what it's supposed to feel like? This can't be right. And then I met my boyfriend and I was like, oh. Oh, this is what it's supposed to feel like.

[Chelsea Handler]

How did you guys meet? Do you mind my asking?

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah. Yeah. I got set up by my two best friends. They're both named Jen. And my Jens were like, you're doing a terrible job of this, so we're gonna take this into our hand. No, like, they were like, you just have to try, like, energetically. You gotta put yourself out there. Just go on the apps. And I was like, I don't wanna go on the apps. That's way too terrifying. And so I had a small stint trying on the apps. Didn't go on one day from them, but just like, I'm not, as you can see, super technologically inclined. So I'd get on the app and Bumble has this feature that is like a privacy one where nobody sees that you're on the app unless you swipe on them. So I was like, okay, that feels kind of like a nice, gentle, easy way to start. I'll just do that. And when you buy that feature, you get a couple of other features, one of which is called a Super Swipe. Have you heard of the Super Swipe?

[Chelsea Handler]

I think I can deduce what that might mean. But why don't you spell it out for us.

[Sarah Chalke]

Well, I don't even know, like, I guess if. When a swipe just won't suffice. And you're just like, I'm going to super swipe on this person.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right?

[Sarah Chalke]

Unfortunately, a super swipe, you don't actually have to swipe just where your thumb naturally rests on the bottom corner of the phone. You just hit it by accident and it's like you've just super swiped on John and you're like, what did I just do? And so then you've told this random stranger that like, a swipe just wasn't enough and you wanted to super swipe. And so I'm like, this is my first time logging on. And I'm googling like, how do you get rid of a super swipe and you can't. And then I find this, like, long thread on Reddit that was like, the only way to get rid of a super swipe is just like, delete the whole account. So then I just deleted the whole thing. And I was like, I'm not meant to do this. And so the gens were like, okay, we're gonna take this into our hands. And so they called someone they know on the east coast and they were like, do you know anyone on the west coast who is our age who wants to date someone who is our age and who's great? And then we met and I had kind of, like, thought about it and I was like, I. I know that you can't ask for everything, so what would be like? I mean, it turns out you can. I feel like this person actually does have everything, but I didn't know that, so I was like, I. I feel like the thing that's like the most important to me is I want someone adventurous. I want someone who's up for it and wants to do shit with me and wants to, like, have adventures. And I, like, way overshot that manifest because he is so much more adventurous than I am. Like, we'll go to do something. He's like, okay, so we'll also bring like, the avalanche beacons. I'm like, totally, totally. So it's like my comfort zones here. And I'm like, way over here.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Sarah Chalke]

Which is great. I mean, that's how it should be.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, totally. And that's so fun, though. Like, that is such. I mean, that's a total necessary thing for me too. Like, I'm all about adventure and it can be any sort. It doesn't even have to be outdoorsy. It just has to be adventurous in spirit, you know what I mean? I love to travel. I want somebody who wants to bounce around the world. I want somebody who can afford to bounce around the world. So I'm not bouncing them around the world, you know what I mean? I want someone who's got their shit together enough to be able to be like, meet the moment. So it is like. It's amazing that you think you can't ask for everything, but why can't you? We can always ask for everything. That doesn't mean you're going to get everything, but it sounds like you've gotten a lot and more than you asked for. Except for this fishing. Why do you like fishing?

[Sarah Chalke]

Okay, I actually. So my son got me into fishing. I mean, do I like fishing?

[Chelsea Handler]

That's the answer right there. I mean, I think you gave us the answer.

[Sarah Chalke]

There's a lot of, like, I get really motion sickness in. I get motion sick in boats. And so if it's like fishing, you're not moving in the boat. You're just sitting. So then you're riding the waves and is that worse? It's like a calm. It's much worse. If it's a calm day, I'm okay, but otherwise it's hard. I like the excitement of the moment where you catch a fish that's like, very exciting. But obviously there's hours where you're often not catching. But I like the snacks, I like the hanging out. There's like all these fishing rituals and superstitions. Like, you know, if there's a. A certain song playing when you catch, then you have to keep playing that song. So I've been in a boat with my son where we have to play Can I Kick it by Tribe Called Quest for four hours straight. Because that's, you know, the last song that there was a fish caught. It's meditative. There's definitely meditative aspect to it. There's like, I feel like it teaches patience and.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, a little too much patience for my. I need more patience, but that's like beyond my. I can't even with fish. I just can't.

[Sarah Chalke]

I mean, I don't want to oversell myself as a fish. Like, I don't fish often. Like, I probably go fishing once a year.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, what's so funny is that the picture that I was looking at when I was, like, looking at our notes for you, I was looking at this picture of this guy, you standing there with a fish, and I'm like, that's so funny. Cause if you took your head out of there. This would be a guy's dating app picture. Like, you know when you go on these, half of them are holding fucking giant bass and you're like, wait, what are you trying to attract, like, another fisher woman? Because good luck with that. There's not many of us out there. It's like, unless you're in the Arctic Circle, maybe, I don't know who's into that.

[Sarah Chalke]

You know, there's always a fish or there's obviously a puppy who's usually not theirs. But there's one with the dog. There's a borrowed puppy from a neighbor.

[Katherine]

There's like the picture with their ex cropped out. Like you can see just like a shoulder.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, I love that one. That is so funny.

[Sarah Chalke]

And maybe they're going like this. Like they're hustling.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've seen pictures. I've seen pictures of myself on people's dating sites. Like, I like random people that I don't know that have had a picture with me. I've seen once before. Like a meet and greet photo. Like something like that where somebody asked me and then they put it on their dating profile.

[Sarah Chalke]

You're definitely not clicking on them.

[Chelsea Handler]

This podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down, get energized and sharpen your focus. Veracity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues. With Verasity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try Metabolism ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergens. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe, plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism Ignite is safe for everyone, including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before Metabolism Ignites sells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iHeart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V e R a C I T Y Health Co for up to 65% off and make sure you use my promo code iheartrading. After a long winter, even a small shift can change how home feels. This spring. Open the door to something lighter. Explore vibrant scents inspired by places from bright citrus terraces to blooming lavender fields and layer them into the rooms you love most. For a limited time, get a free Pura 4 diffuser when you subscribe to $0.02 for 12 months. It's an easy way to refresh your space without starting over. Visit pura.com and bring spring home. This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. We are taking a moment to celebrate women and all that they carry at work, in relationships, in families, and in the many roles that they hold. Every day march includes International Women's Day, a moment to celebrate women's strength and progress while also recognizing how much we carry every single day. Between caring for others and managing unseen responsibilities, our emotional well being can easily be overlooked. Women matter and therapy offers a space for us to take care of ourselves in the way we deserve. We hear so often from women who are overwhelmed by the many hats that they have to wear, the expectations placed on them and the pressures that they feel. Therapy can help create balance, set healthy boundaries, and support overall well being for everyone. So if you're ready to take some of the pressure off, give better help a try. Your emotional well being matters. Find support and feel lighter in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com dearchelsea that's betterhelp.com dearchelsea. Let's be honest. Most dogs are eating ultra processed food every day and we just accept it. Doug eats just food for dogs. Real 100% human grade food. And the number one vet recommended fresh dog food. And yes, the difference is obvious. Better digestion, more energy, way more excitement about dinner. If your dog deserves better and they do, just try it. Go to justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first order. No code needed. Anyway, Sarah, let's talk about what you're here promoting because you guys are doing a reboot of Scrubs. Tell us about it.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah, it's been so fun. It feels so lucky and so crazy. I mean it was my favorite job and we did it 25 years ago

[Chelsea Handler]

and it's 25 years ago.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah, 25 years ago.

[Chelsea Handler]

God, you can really just remake anything at any time. That's amazing.

[Sarah Chalke]

You can't. Like I and we always thought like that would be really fun. Over the last decade we've talked about it a bit, but I don't think any of us thought that it was going to come back and we were going to do it in this way as a show again on Primetime, on abc. We talked about like, oh, if everybody's schedules collide it'll be like kind of like psych did they did like a movie. And so when we started talking about doing it like this, it was so fun. Obviously, the hospital we shot in was this, like, old abandoned hospital in the valley. It's been torn down. And so they rebuilt the sets and we thought, like, oh, they'll build it. Like, it'll look kind of like the old ones. They built it exactly the same. So it was such a trip. Like, I spent my 20s in that ICU in that cafeteria. And the first day, like, stepping back on to these sets that were built so beautifully and exactly the same, it was like, it was just such a trip. I felt like a step back in time. Like the same people and the same character and the same writing in the same sets.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's like a total reunarse. Like, how fun to get everyone back together again.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah, it's been so fun. And we all, like, we all loved each other and we still hung out and went on ski trips and went for dinners and since the show ended. And so, you know, to kind of go back to that dynamic on a set, like, we. I think you can, like, you can hope when you start on a new job that you'll all have chemistry, but I think you can't. Manufacture is history. And we actually have 25 years altogether. And then they brought in five new kids. They're not. I mean, they're not kids. We call them Donald and Zach and I call them our kids. Not children, but we call them our kids. They're our kids. They're, you know, between 25 and 35 years old, and they're, like, so fucking funny and such good people. And so that's been, like a whole new addition to the dynamic. And we had. We shot up in Vancouver, which was so insanely lucky. And we had Saturday night dinners every week with the whole cast. And it was super great. I mean, to do a comedy, there's nothing like it, being on a comedy set. Like, I love doing all the different things, but there's something so specifically great about being on a comedy set that's just, like, not replicable.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that's how you started out on Roseanne, right? That was your first big show, and that was how many years of your life?

[Sarah Chalke]

That was four. So I joined in season six.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, right, right, right. You kind of replaced the other sister, Right? Okay.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah. Becky, she went away to college, so I replaced her. So when I joined, I was 16 years old when I auditioned, and she had left to go to college and So I got this audition. I, like, put myself on tape and, like, put a VHS tape in the mail. And it was for this, like, new series filming in 1994. And they didn't want to say what it was. And then, you know, you get a call back and then another call back, and finally they said what it was for, and they're like, we're gonna fly you down. And the whole audition was making out with Glenn Quinn, who played Mark, who was Irish and gorgeous and eight years older than me. And I was like, how am I gonna remember anything that I'm supposed to

[Chelsea Handler]

talk about as a 16 year old? You were doing that.

[Sarah Chalke]

16.

[Chelsea Handler]

Making out with him for hours.

[Sarah Chalke]

The whole. The whole. No, it was. The audition was, like, probably 20 minutes. And because we did it a few times, they had it on the set. They wanted to put in all the factors to see if you could keep your focus. So they had four cameras, and they were calling out camera numbers. They had a laugh track. They had, like, someone directing it. Gail Mancuso, who's now one of our main Scrubs directors.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, she's the best. Gail Mancuso. I've worked with her before. She's so. She's a legend. She's legend. So cool.

[Sarah Chalke]

She's legend. She. And she directed, you know, a ton of our OG Scrubs and came back this last season to direct more Scrubs. And she's the one that gave me my first job, you know, 100 years ago. So I'm doing the scene with Glenn, and the whole scene is like, baby, baby, come here. And I'm like, get a job at the gas station. He's like, baby, come here. I'm like, get a job at the gas station. And we're just making out. And that's like, the audition. And then they were like, we'll tell you in seven days. And then the night before they were going to tell us, they said, okay, it's down to four of you now. Come back and audition with Roseanne. And so I did. And the audition was like, on the couch.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then you had to make out with Roseanne. You're like, all right, this is too much.

[Sarah Chalke]

This takes a turn. I was not signing up for this whoopsie doodle. And she was like, how old are you? And I was like, I'm 16. And all the other girls were 21. And she was like, no, how old are you, really? And I was like, the idea of lying about my age would never have occurred to me. I was like, I'm 16. And they were worried that, you know, because Sarah and Lisa had both left to go to college, that I would also, since I was the youngest there auditioning, that I would do that. So Tom Arnold called me at my house after the audition, and he's like, so, college, like, what do you think about. What do you think about college? And I was like, no. No college. No, thank you. Gross. None for me. And even though I knew I would go eventually, I wasn't gonna do it then. I could do it later. And so I found out that I had the job. And then the craziest thing happened. I went to a party that night, and I told a couple people. It sounded like the weirdest lie. Because it's a time when there was, like, nine shows on television. And, you know, it was the number one show at the time. And it was like, saying, I'm gonna go be on that show and play that person. I mean, it made no sense. And then it spread around our high school. And then on Monday morning, I get a call from the roseanne show, and they're like, we're having cold feet about doing this. We don't know if we're gonna do it. If we do it, it'll be you, but we're gonna put you on hold for four months. And I thought, oh, my God, my ass is grass at high school. If this doesn't happen, I'm forever gonna be, like, the weirdo who lied about going to be Becky on the roseanne show.

[Chelsea Handler]

That is so funny. I actually did that for real When I was in elementary school, I lied to my whole class in order to gain some more respect from my peers. Cause I didn't feel like they respected me enough. And I told them that I was gonna be in this. To private benjamin playing Goldie hawn's daughter as her daughter. I wrote about this in my very first book. And I was, like, telling people. I was like, oh, yeah, I had a screen test with Goldie Hawn. We have so much chemistry. I was like, you guys better start respecting me now, because I'm gonna be famous. And then you're gonna regret that you weren't nice to me. And it went all around school, and everyone was coming up to me, asking me all sorts of questions. And then, like, yeah, obviously nothing ever happened. So I just had to keep, like, postponing. And I'm like, oh, it's gonna be a summer shoot. I had all the lingo down, and then finally I was like, oh. They decided to go in a different direction. Meanwhile, there was no fucking Sequel to Benjamin. So eventually I just. Eventually I just had to transfer schools. I was like, this is too humiliating.

[Sarah Chalke]

So we had. We had a girl in our grade do that too. She lied about being part of the Mini Pops. I don't know if you've ever heard about the Mini Pops. The Mini Pops were this, like, kids cover band in Canada that were so cool. It was like everybody wanted to be a Mini Pop. They would release records that were just covers of, like, awesome 80s songs. And so this girl came to school one day and she was like, I'm gonna be a Mini Pop. And we couldn't believe it. We were floored. It was the most exciting thing. And then she wasn't like, it wasn't true. And I just remember when this whole Becky thing happened, I was like, I'm gonna be exactly like the Mini Pops.

[Katherine]

You're gonna be a Mini Pop girl.

[Sarah Chalke]

This is gonna be Mini Pops.

[Chelsea Handler]

How was Tom Arnold?

[Sarah Chalke]

Oh, my God. He was great to me. He was very. I think ever since that kind of phone call, like, he was always really supportive of me.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm sorry, I didn't mean Tom Arnold. I met the father that played the John Goodman. Sorry, I didn't mean to ask about Tom Arnold.

[Sarah Chalke]

Who cares?

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I know Tom Arnold. I don't need. Yeah, yeah. I want to know about the dad, because he seemed awesome.

[Sarah Chalke]

He was. I mean, that was like, crazy. He was one of my idols at the time, obviously. And, like, now I was working with him in my dressing room was right beside him, and I was. I mean, I had no business being there. I had literally never worked, except for on a couple of Canadian productions where I would, like, answer the phone in a movie and be like, mom, phone. And that was like, the totality of my body of work before having gone onto that set. And then it was like, John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf, Sarah Gilbert, Johnny Galecki, Sandra Bernhard, so fun. Fred Willard, like, the craziest group. I would just sit there and watch. But John Goodman was so kind. He went out of his way to kind of, like, make me feel okay, you know? Like, he'd be like, hey, kid, how you doing? And he didn't do that. And then obviously, just to, like, watch him work and what he would do with a script from the Monday morning table read till the Thursday night tape night and try different things. And I would just kind of watch him. And he's one of the most. Yeah, he's just so talented.

[Chelsea Handler]

So that was a great preparation for you for Scrubs, right? I mean, that Was kind of like College for Scrubs.

[Sarah Chalke]

It was. It was College for Scrubs. But it's, like, such a different experience. Like, I feel like on Roseanne, I was so young and so new and so. And it's different. It's such a different experience that I hadn't even really pre thought of replacing a character. And you're trying to, like, fit into that mold. And luckily, I was kind of young and naive and didn't really understand it. Like, I didn't really think about the expectations maybe that would be put on, like, filling those shoes. But then in Scrubs, it was when it felt like it was my first experience of, like, it feeling so creative because I got to really create the character. Like, Bill had written this character that was. I read it, and I was like, fuck, this is so good. I want to be a part of this so badly. The character description said, moves and talks at a faster pace than normal humans. And that was something that I'd always struggled with. Like, everyone's always like, slow down in life, in speech.

[Chelsea Handler]

Me too. Me too. Me, too.

[Sarah Chalke]

And it's hard. You just want to. We're busy. We gotta get. We gotta get all the information out. And so I thought, okay, this is, like, my part. And then Bill ended up, like, tailoring our parts and adding all of our own quirks and selves. Like, Elliot wasn't written as a disaster who fell and hurt herself all the time. And then that was just woven in very early on when they realized that I still had not figured out where my body was in space. But that felt like the comedy masterclass. Like, getting to work with Bill. He would come to set every rehearsal, which is super rare from my experience. Like, I've never had that happen, where the showrunner comes every single rehearsal and comes up and goes, like, okay, you know, try this differently. Try these two alts instead of that joke. See which one you know, works the best. He was super collaborative and gave us so much freedom that is, you know, we get it once exactly as written. And then he'd be like, oh, if this line says, I told you so, if you want, you can just do like I told you so song and dance instead if you feel like it. And so I feel like I got to learn, like, so much about comedy just from watching him work and how he would take a scene. And if it wasn't working, he'd be like, okay, let's try this, try that, try that. It was so lucky and so fun. And because we were shooting in this, like, abandoned hospital in The Valley. And we felt kind of removed from everything. And so it created this interesting dynamic of feeling like a very collaborative space. And there was also like a real. I think my favorite part about it was there was a real feeling that you could fail. Like, just try anything. Which obviously in comedy, I think that's the only way it can really work. If you're not thinking about what you look like while you're doing it, what you just like any of the other factors, just try it. If it doesn't work, they won't use it. And so we really were freed up to try anything.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's awesome. I love to hear that. That's so, like creatively fulfilling. I mean, you know, to just. To be able to spread your wings and fly and have somebody just show you. Cause that show was original and it's like it had used devices that we hadn't seen before on those kinds of shows.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah, it did. And I remember thinking that when I read the script, like, I. I was like, oh, I haven't seen anything like this. I had just moved to LA with my best friend and we didn't know anybody and we never had together.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it one of the gens?

[Sarah Chalke]

It was one of the gens. Yes, it was. It was one of the gens. She'd gone to film school at UBC in Vancouver and wanted to produce and I wanted to act. And so we packed up her truck with the most random shit. It was like Steve Martin and the Jerk when he's like, I just need this mug and this thing. Like, we had like, I packed a guitar that I didn't know how to play and like we were gonna go for like a six month sublet. And then I stayed 17 years. But, you know, Jen and I had plans to go to a concert and I got two auditions for the next day. And normally I would just be like, okay, I've got to work on these auditions. I was like, I'm not canceling on Jen. We're going to the concert. I don't care. And I come home to this envelope, these two envelopes for these two auditions. And it's midnight and my audition for scrubs is at 9am and I open it and I start reading it and I'm like turning the pages and I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, this is so good. Shit. I like, now it's. The audition's happening in like 8 hours and 59 minutes. And I never opened the other envelope. I have no idea what that audition was. And I just worked for a couple of Hours and then got some sleep and went and read for casting. And they were like, can you come back in a few hours and read for Bill? And. But, yeah, I remember reading the script thinking, like, oh, this is so different. And like you said, using devices we hadn't seen. And I love the pace of it. And. And I laughed out loud reading the script, which was so rare.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love it. I love that. I love that you get to. I mean, like, who would have ever thought, like, all of these shows and all of these successful series would be rebooted? Like, if someone told you when you were doing it the first time, you're gonna be doing this again 25 years later, nobody would be. You'd be like, I'm not even gonna be alive. Then there's no chance.

[Sarah Chalke]

Totally, totally. Who's 50? Like, that sounds like what?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly. No chance. What about. Okay, let's talk about being 50. Let's talk about, like, that age, because it's not what I expected at all. It's, like, so much better. It's so much like, you know, I feel so much younger than I ever thought I would feel. I feel younger than I felt when I was in my 30s. But let's talk about advice that you've been given, good or bad, that has had an impact on your life.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah, first of all, I completely agree with you. Like, I'm turning 50 this coming August. And, I mean, if you were to say, like, how old are you? Like, I feel like I. My brain stopped at, like, 33, I think, is the age that I always think I am. And, yeah, to have had this lucky career, I'm very grateful for, because it has allowed me to be able to raise my kids. You know, like, when you're. When you're working, you're working hard, but then you have these chunks of time where you're off and you can be totally present and do that. In terms of advice that I've been given that's been good or bad or bad.

[Chelsea Handler]

We like bad advice, too.

[Sarah Chalke]

We like bad advice. Okay, I'll start with good. My dad's favorite expression was, the best time to plant an apple orchard was 25 years ago. The second best time is today. And I feel like that he told us when we were little. I think about it often because it's like, anytime I'm like, okay, it's too late. Like, I think through your whole life, you always feel like, oh, fuck, is it too late? Is it too late to do this? And it's like, never too late. Like, it's actually never too late. Like, I want to.

[Chelsea Handler]

We just had this conversation, me and three girlfriends. We were just talking about this and, like, the idea of ascension, like, we are always ascending. Like, just because something hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it's gonna happen. It's not going to happen because of your age. Your age is not preventative of what your desires are. It's actually an enhancement. It makes it more likely to happen because it's still on your mind. And like, oh, I was gonna do that, and I didn't do it before I turned 50. That means it's gonna be even better when you do do it after 50, not that it's not happening 100%.

[Sarah Chalke]

And exactly. When you do it, you're, like, really gonna do it, and you're gonna do it at a time in your life that you're ready to do it. Like, I was like, I want to learn how to play an instrument. I'm like, is it too late? And I was like, no, it's not too late.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's not exactly. We were just talking about this, and I was like, God, you know, oh, if I don't do this by the time I'm 30 or the time I'm 40, and that's like, such backwards thinking. It's like, oh, this. Now that I'm this experience and I'm this much wiser and I'm this much smarter, I'm not gonna even fuck this up when it does happen, you know, like, I'm tuned in now totally.

[Sarah Chalke]

And I feel like, even with, like, skiing, you know, like, I was like, the other day, I was like, I want to go take some more lessons and kind of, like, bring my skiing to the next stage. Because, like, I. I grew up skiing. My first job, I was a ski instructor, and then I took. My kids are six years apart, so I feel like I spent, like, you know, they were in between my skis when they were one and a half, and then on the harness, and then kind of like everyone else is going off and doing the real runs, and you're like, on the little ones for. And then I had another kid and they did it again. So I feel like I took such a long chunk off of, like, really skiing. And when I went back to it, I was like, oh, I feel like I'm skiing with the technique of, like, the old equipment and the old technology and the skis that weren't shaped and so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, right. Yeah, I get that.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah. I just feel like having, like, a. Just in general open mind to, like, it's never too late. It's never too late to try anything. I feel like in so many aspects of my life, I feel like things are just the best they've been or taking off. Like in the relationship that I'm in has been so fun and so fulfilling and so interesting to, you know, we have so much in common and so like, yeah, I feel like in all aspects, it feels like 50 is amazing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's like you're peaking, but I don't even believe in peaking either. Because we're ascending. That's what we're calling it. We're ascending until we die. We are in ascent. And that means we just keep getting better and better and better. Like it is a refined, beautiful thing. Like, I am totally down with that. I can't believe the garbage we've been listening to our whole lives or are absorbing just kind of this narrative that's just not true. Anyway, let's move on to callers before we run out of time. Catherine, sorry we got caught up in this lovely conversation.

[Sarah Chalke]

I'm gonna think of that about ascension. That's gonna be my guess.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, please. Yes. Do it. Let's spread that messaging. Women need to hear this. This podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down, get energized and sharpen your focus. Verasity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues. With Verasity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try Metabolism ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergens. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe, plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism Ignite is safe for everyone, including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before metabolism ignites cells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iHeart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V E R A C I T Y Health Co for up to 65% off and make sure you use my promo code I heart. Spring is a feeling. More light, more movement, a little more possibility. With PURA's spring collection, you can layer in scents inspired by places you love. Fresh air, florals in bloom, sun warmed citrus right at home for a limited time. Get a free Pura plus diffuser when you subscribe to 2 cents for 12 months. Designed for larger spaces, designed to transform how they feel. Shop the Spring collection [e-mail] let's be honest. Most dogs are eating ultra processed food every day and we just accept it. Doug eats just food for dogs. Real 100% human grade food. And the number one vet recommended fresh dog food. And yes, the difference is obvious. Better digestion, more energy, way more excitement about dinner. If your dog deserves better, and they do, just try it. Go to justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first order. No code needed this year I shared a lot of personal stories in my special and in my new book and one was about a lemonade stand that I had as a young entrepreneur. But I was basically selling spiked lemonade which was very profitable, it turns out. I had always wanted to can my own vodka lemonade, but every time I tried to partner with a brand it just never worked. The lemon didn't taste real, they were too sweet. There was some weird metallic aftertaste. So I gave up on it for a while. And then one morning I met the founders of Owls Brew. Our first meeting was at 9am in my hotel room and they showed up with dozens of samples. They absolutely nailed it. I tasted it and I thought, oh my God, I should have been working with women this whole time. So we made my vodka lemonade with Owls Brew. Real vodka, real lemon juice, clean ingredients and no fake stuff. And the perfect hint of sweetness. They are absolutely refreshing. And because I love you, you can use code dearchelsea for 20% [e-mail] it's the lemonade stand, fully grown. Cheers to us.

[Katherine]

Well, our first caller today is Elle, and this is not a question about baseball. It's a question about struggling through setbacks. So Elle says. Dear Chelsea, my son is 16 and struggles to process setbacks and perceived failure. He's at the top of his class, takes multiple AP courses and thrives in academic environments. Even though he claims his classes are boring, many things in life come easily to him except baseball setbacks. He's been playing baseball since he was about 5 and even after entering high school he was often the strongest player on his team. He's currently on a competitive travel team, so the level of play is higher and he has to work harder. In theory, this should be a healthy learning and growth experience, but in Reality. Any perceived poor performance sends him into an intense spiral of self criticism and frustration that can last for hours. But baseball doesn't allow hours to process emotions. The game continues and he's expected to stay mentally present for his team. He becomes angry with himself. His. His performance suffers and this only reinforces the cycle. We currently have him in therapy, though he doesn't have buy in. He views his reactions as normal teenage emotions, which to some extent they are. Our goal isn't to pathologize his feelings, but to help him develop coping strategies so that setbacks don't derail his mood, confidence, or performance for the rest of the game. And beyond the field. We've tried a gratitude journal, which he didn't take very seriously. And his therapist has given him strategies to practice in the moment. But the cycle persists. Do you have any suggestions for helping him process these emotions in a healthier way? Are there any strategies you'd recommend that we might not have tried with gratitude?

[Elle (Caller)]

Elle.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Elle. Hi, how are you? This is our special guest, Sarah Chalk.

[Elle (Caller)]

Oh, nice to meet you.

[Sarah Chalke]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi. I have a friend who's staying with me right now in Whistler, and her daughter is in the same situation that your son is. Very successful athlete. Young had a, like, you know, bad day playing and was devastated by it. You know, And I think those are all really natural emotions. But for kids to, like, if they want to take them, like, they have to get into like a championship mentality. Right? Like, if they're gonna really be successful at this, they have to outsmart themselves. And like, there's gotta be a lot of books on this. Jamie, did you say you knew about a book about this? I'm gonna have her come upstairs. Cause we literally just had this conversation about her daughter last night. And she's like, it is what it is. She didn't have a good day today. She's just gonna have to deal with it. That's the mentality of a champ. Like, if you're gonna have to deal with your emotions and you can't spiral every time. And that's something that he's just gonna kind of have to learn. This woman's calling in with the same thing we were talking about yesterday. Her son, like, flip, like spiraling out when he has a bad play and stuff. Do you wanna hop on and give her some advice here? This is my friend. She just happens to be in town.

[Katherine]

Hi, beautiful.

[Chelsea Handler]

Jamie.

[Jamie]

Hi, gorgeous.

[Sarah Chalke]

Hi.

[Katherine]

So her son is struggling with feelings of self criticism and especially when he's playing baseball. And so like he needs tools to like quickly process those emotions.

[Chelsea Handler]

How old is he?

[Elle (Caller)]

He's 16.

[Sarah Chalke]

Okay.

[Jamie]

I have the same thing we have. 15 year old superstar softball player. So what I've learned from this journey. I also played sports in college and I wish I had this information when I was in college because I think it would have made me a better competitor is it's all mental. Everything is mental. Has he hit home runs before? Has he made double plays?

[Elle (Caller)]

Yes. Well, he's gotten triples before. He's never hit it over and out of the park.

[Sarah Chalke]

Right.

[Elle (Caller)]

He's made double plays. He's a really good player.

[Jamie]

Yeah, but he's a perfectionist.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

Yeah. And he's, he just criticizes himself when he doesn't perform. Right. So like, I think the most important thing an athlete can do is work on their mental game. Does he journal?

[Elle (Caller)]

No. I tried having him, like Catherine said, I tried having him write a gratitude journal. This was last summer. And he, we would go through what he would write in there because at first, like he, he thinks he's a normal teen. He doesn't think that anything that is happening with his emotions is out of the ordinary. And, and again, it's not.

[Jamie]

It's not. But it's how you can train your brain to. It's really a mental thing. So like my daughter, what she started doing, I mean, she wants to play D1, so this is all her journey. I don't push her, this is her thing. But she started journaling. So before she'll do hitting lessons, before a group practice, before any sort of work she's doing, she'll put what her expectations are for the practice and then after the practice she'll put in. Did she accomplish that? What does she need to work on next practice? And so it's always just like looking at what you've done and what you need to do. Right now it sounds like it's all a mental thing. So that's what he should be focusing on. There's a book called, I think it's called Champion, the Champion Mind Be the Champion Mind or something like that. She started reading that she talks to a mental coach now. I mean, it's so different from when I was growing up. We didn't have anything. I was just like, if I sucked,

[Katherine]

I would just be in like a dark hole.

[Jamie]

But, you know, and all the high end coaches all tell if you watch any Tiktoks or Instagram, they all tell the players like what we're watching. We don't care if you're a baller, we don't care if you have 100% batting average. We care about your body language. So if you strike out three times in a row, do you go in the dugout and bring everybody down with your energy, or do you come in and just realize what you did wrong and move on? Turn the page, you know?

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Jamie]

And it's hard for them to pull back and look at themselves. But you're on a team sport. If you want to go torture yourself, go swim, go golf, go tennis. But this is a team sport, so bring the good energy even when shit is bad. And what's great about all this is it's such a good lesson for life.

[Elle (Caller)]

Yeah, it is.

[Sarah Chalke]

I've done my work here.

[Katherine]

Just dropping the knowledge. Yes.

[Jamie]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go warm my toes for the Whistler Hill.

[Sarah Chalke]

Okay, here's.

[Jamie]

Here's your host, Chelsea Handler.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you, Jamie. I really had to put her on the spot there, you guys. And she delivered. That was late. Just dropping the heat.

[Katherine]

Dropping the heat.

[Chelsea Handler]

That was awesome.

[Sarah Chalke]

I think what she said about, like, being a perfectionist is so true. Like, and I was a perfectionist as a kid and experienced, you know, really trying to figure out how to go back to a growth mindset. Like, I think I had one initially. And then as you work, going back into the auditioning process, I really got out of that. And in terms of, like, you know, because I was a kid who, like, if I was doing a project on Sri Lanka, I was cutting every page out into the shape of an elephant. Like, don't do that. Just travel lighter. That makes no sense. And I, you know, in terms of team sports, like, I all. It's all I wanted. I just wanted to be on a team. Like, I would take any fucking team. I was like, I tried it for basketball, volleyball, the track and field team. I was like, whoever will take me? Nobody would. So I got used to a level of rejection that I think actually is why I ended up being able to go into to acting. But I think, like, for your son and for the times that days that doesn't work out, I actually think it's really true that you learn so much more from failure than you do from your successes. So every. Like, if you're going and you're hitting a home run every time, like, actually, it's incredible, but I don't think you're learning anything that's going to help you grow. And so, because the reality is, like, I don't know if the goal for him is to become like a professional baseball player or if it's just to do it right now with his buddies. But if he's out there and he's failing, it's obviously not failing. But I mean, if he's not doing, let's say it doesn't go the way that he wants, he's going to come out of that. And right now, like you said, he's working through it and he's trying the Gratitude Journal. You're trying therapy, you're trying all these different things. Those are all tools that are going to serve him in every area of his life. No, because none of us are gonna. No matter what we do, we're not going to go out there and it's not going to be a successful day all of the days, most days. And I think, like, if you can, like, just the fact that you're and him are aware of it and trying to work through the tools, I guess the other part of it is, what's the goal for him in terms of, like, does he want to take this the whole way? And if not, what is the best spot for him? Like, my niece played professional or not professional. She played field hockey at a high level. She was on Team Canada, and when she stopped, her enjoyment of the game went, like, through the roof. She's an incredible field hockey player. But sometimes I think when you're a kid and you're a teenager and you're dealing with all of the elements of being a teenager and the pressures of school and all of that, like, to take the pressure cooker out of it and they can actually just really enjoy the sport, can be really cool too. I mean, obviously that balance with them pushing through the heart is probably the most important part.

[Chelsea Handler]

But also, like, I think what Jamie said is like. Like, first of all, of course, the Gratitude journal, like, most adult men are not gonna do that, you know, so, like, if you could, if you pivot and make a journal about journaling, like, about his expectations, about before practices, about what he expects, and also emphasize that team component aspect, like, you wanna be a leader, you wanna be a champion, then you need to actually get into, like, kick into a different gear when you're disappointed in your own performance. You know what I mean? You can't bring other people down with you. I think that will have an impact on him as well.

[Elle (Caller)]

Do you have any advice for when he's in the moment when something doesn't go? Because, like, in his mind, even if he hits a pop fly, that's a horrible hit, because pop flies are at his level of play now, 99% of the time caught. And he's just like now done for the game essentially. Like he was even ejected out of a game by the umpire for arguing a call. And it just in the moment, like I can get him to do, I think like the. Because two hours after a game he's like totally fine. He's like, oh yeah, I'm good. I'm like, but I need you to be good like in that moment because now you're just hurting your team.

[Katherine]

I don't know if you can get buy in on this, but meditating on a daily basis, even if it's like 5, 10 minutes, can help slow him down in those moments so he's not like just having this super fast reaction. It really does help you have a more measured response when stuff like that happens. And it doesn't even have to be like woo woo meditations. It can be simple box breathing or counting to 10 with his breaths or even just doing, you know, really short basic meditations on headspace or an app like that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think your role is just to really be a guide for him when he is looking for answers that you can help him to find those answers. You guys will work together to find those answers. If he's disappointed in his own behavior and his reaction, then that's an opening for you to go, okay, we can figure this out together. I can help you. This study says all we have to do is meditate five minutes a day. He's not gonna like that either. But you can do it with him. You can sit there and say this is gonna help your brain regulate so that when you are in that moment and you are feeling super reactive, you can pull back and just be quiet and think of your team instead of thinking of yourself and your reactivity and just taking all those moments without being too kind of officious. Because of course you're your mother and you care more about him than anybody in the world. But just to be like this calming force around him so that he keeps coming to you when he wants answers so that you're the calm and he's the storm and that he knows where the calm is gonna be.

[Katherine]

And then just one more thing I wanna flag El before you go is if he is being really self critical and irritable, especially irritable outside of practice, I would keep an eye on that because that can be a sign of depression in teenage boys. So just keep an eye on that. Like outside of baseball too.

[Elle (Caller)]

Yeah, definitely. No, we are, we're very aware. Like, he's putting a lot of pressure on himself. My husband and I tell him, like, you don't have to play. Like, we're cool if you don't want to play. But he loves the game and he wants to play and he wants to do really well. And it's like, oh, but it's hurting you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, but, you know, that's something he's going to have to figure out for himself. Like, there's nothing you can do. He's gonna have to decide if it's worth the feelings that come with, you know, not always succeeding. Like, is it worth it? Are the wins, like, worth it with the losses? And that's not something you can make happen for him. You can only be supportive at every turn and be like, okay, you wanna do this, we're gonna support you. If you don't wanna do it, we'll totally support you too.

[Elle (Caller)]

I know I mentioned. So we do have him in therapy. Do you think finding a new therapist is that something to do? Because the guy he goes to now, and he's very nice and my son says he likes them, but then when we drive to his sessions, he's like, yeah, I don't really think I need this. So, like, I feel like his buy in isn't there.

[Katherine]

That's everybody. Everybody feels that way on their way to therapy. Like, I don't need this today. And then it's your biggest day.

[Chelsea Handler]

I would keep him in therapy and like, if you can look for maybe some like a sports therapist or something that's a little bit more geared to what he's into in the interim. But don't take him out prematurely. Just leave him in so he has some sort of sounding board. But also in the meantime, look for somebody that you can gear towards more what his interests are.

[Katherine]

All right, El, well keep us posted. Okay?

[Elle (Caller)]

Okay, thank you.

[Sarah Chalke]

All right, thanks.

[Chelsea Handler]

Bye. Elle, thanks for calling in. Wow, that was like a triage moment, you guys. Truly, you guys.

[Sarah Chalke]

And Jamie stepping in, all hands on deck.

[Chelsea Handler]

That was serious.

[Sarah Chalke]

Oh, my God. I wanted team sports so badly. Like I finally said to the coach, I'm like, I just want to get on the bus. What's nobody signing up for? And they were like, nobody does race walking. And I was like, great, I'm in. And so I was race walking just so that I could get on the bus.

[Chelsea Handler]

And were you race walking all by yourself?

[Sarah Chalke]

Because nobody else identified. There was like a few kids from other schools in the province, so I came second in the province because it was probably only two people.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katherine]

We'll finish up with our one drink question here. So Nikki says, I'm a 35 year old Canadian passionate about boycotting US travel and products when possible in the wake of the current and administration threatening to invade Canada and all this 51st state bullshit. The problem is that I live in the frozen tundra of Winnipeg and my husband wants to take a vacation somewhere hot while it's still cold. My husband is a wonderful partner and dad that works incredibly hard. He's in his first year of being an attending doctor after 14 years of training. We have two young kids and can only manage to get away for a long weekend and there are not many direct flights out of Winnipeg. He would love to go to Phoenix, Vegas or Palm Springs since it'll be hot and we can fly direct. He agrees with boycotting US travel, but also feels like we need to live our lives a bit. So my question is, do I make an exception to my boycott to go on vacation with my husband who absolutely deserves it?

[Sarah Chalke]

Nikki.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no. Find somewhere else to go or go to a sauna, like, forget about it. Your boycott is a boycott. No temporary boycotts. Like you cancel things to cancel them. It doesn't work if we're not serious about. So if you care about the state of the world, you have to care about boycotting things altogether. And I, believe me, I'm doing it in my own life and I'm doing it with all the people that I work with and the people that work for me in my house, everything. This is a consideration that we talk about all the time. It is serious business. So yeah, I mean also I joined Noble Mobile. I got off of AT&T, Verizon. That's one good thing you can do. You can join Noble Mobile. They encourage you to stay off of your phone. They incentivize you to stay off of your phone. My phone bills have been like $35 a month and I travel internationally all the time. So that's a great first step. Cancel ChatGPT. Please be on the only ethical anthropic is the only ethical like AI system that is available. So try to download get rid of ChatGPT. Like these steps mean things. These people are making money and profiting off of our prison system, off of these detention centers. They are making money off of this, all of these AI guys. So if you want to have an impact, you have to be serious. And your husband can go without his vacation to Palm Springs for the year.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah, yeah. Go to, go to bc, go to

[Chelsea Handler]

Whistler Yeah, yeah, go to Whistler. I guess that's cool. Yeah. By the way, it's hot here. So you can come here. I'm sure it'll be hot.

[Sarah Chalke]

It's.

[Chelsea Handler]

We've had the worst winter. It's like hot, cold, hot, cold. So by the time you get here, it could be sunny. Exactly, exactly. And I say this, I know that you're listening to this and people are like, well, it might be easier for you because. Cause you have more privilege and I have more money. Listen, it's hard for all of us. I use all of those things all the time and I have to be disciplined. I Never go on ChatGPT, ever, ever, ever, ever. I barely use anthropic. I don't wanna even get into that. And I know, Sarah, we've already discussed our limited technology abilities. So it's like, it's hard for me. So those things are kind of not even that difficult. But I've canceled streaming services. I stopped using Amazon. Like, we're doing everything we can to make sure that you make a dent in these people's bottom lines because that's all anybody cares about is money.

[Katherine]

Right? Right. So where it hurts.

[Sarah Chalke]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So we'll take a break and we'll be right back to wrap up with Sarah Chalk. This podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down, get energized and sharpen your focus. Veracity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues. With Verasity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try Metabolism ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergens. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe, plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism Ignite is safe for everyone, including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before metabolism ignites cells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iHeart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V E R a C I T Y Health Co for up to 65% off. And make sure you use my promo code iheartrading. Home is your favorite place. Spring is when you Let it feel a little bit more transportive. Discover vibrant scents inspired by places. Bright citrus, fresh florals, clean air. Energy designed to refresh your space without adding complexity. Just plug in, choose your scent and let the season unfold room by room. Explore the spring collection [e-mail] it's the new year, which means everyone's talking about doing better, eating better, feeling better, taking care of themselves. And if you're thinking that way about your own health, your dog probably deserves that same energy. Doug eats just fresh from just food for dogs. It's real human grade food, not processed junk. And it's the number one vet recommended fresh dog food. And yes, I've seen the difference. More energy, shinier coat, and a dog who suddenly cares very deeply about dinner. Because, let's be honest, you wouldn't eat the same processed thing every day. So why are we feeding that to our dogs? No judgment, just logic. What makes this work is that it's shelf stable. I don't need freezer space, I don't need to plan ahead, and I definitely don't need a lifestyle overhau. If you're starting the year trying to do better, start with your dog. Go to justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first order. No code needed. Just a smarter way to start the year right. I shared a lot of my personal stories this year, including the one about a lemonade stand I opened as a child where I sold hard lemonade because regular lemonade did not have enough margin of profit. I had always wanted to can my own vodka lemonade, but every time I tried to partner with a brand, it just never worked. And then I met the founders of Owls Brew. They showed up to my hotel room with 30 samples and nailed it. Real vodka, real lemon juice, no fake stuff, and the perfect hint of sweetness. You can use code DEARCELSEA for 20% [e-mail] the lemonade stand is officially open for adults. Cheers to us. And we're back with Sarah Chalk. Everyone can watch Scrubs.

[Sarah Chalke]

Where?

[Chelsea Handler]

Where can they watch Scrubs Sarah?

[Sarah Chalke]

On ABC on Wednesday nights and streams the next day on Hulu Disney.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, and Hulu Disney plus is a perfect example of somebody who did the wrong thing and then corrected it and did the right thing. So I canceled that prescription and then I redownloaded it when they did the right thing. So you can reward subscription. Subscription was it? Did I say prescription?

[Sarah Chalke]

You did.

[Chelsea Handler]

You did. We're too much.

[Katherine]

Talk about drugs.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's a perfect way to go out with our scrub star. Thank you, Sarah. I will. We're gonna have to stay together at some point. Okay.

[Sarah Chalke]

So I would love it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Sarah Chalke]

I would love it. I was up. I was up last week, and there was. Yeah, there was, like, no snow or, you know, rained on snow, so I'm so excited it's coming. And apparently it's like 100cm in the next couple days.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, I know. I'm not even. I have to leave on Thursday, but I'm gonna be back in the beginning of April, so I'm gonna hit you up and see if you're around, too.

[Sarah Chalke]

Okay. I would love it. I want to hear about Finland.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Yeah. I can't wait to tell you. It was awesome. It was so beautiful. Yeah. Okay. Have a great day, Sarah. Thank you so much. Okay.

[Sarah Chalke]

Have the best time skiing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Thanks for having me.

[Katherine]

The word of the week is officious. Officious. Adjective intrusive in a meddling or offensive manner. Used to describe someone that acts more official than they actually are. Volunteering. One surfaces where they are neither asked nor needed. Used in a sentence, the manspreading mansplainer was both meddlesome and officious. Officious.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, guys, I am officially on my high and Mighty Tour. March 20 is Denver, Colorado. March 27, Portland, Maine. March 28, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10 is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12, Louisville, California, Kentucky. April 16 is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17 is Mesa, Arizona. April 23 is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24 is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25 is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1 is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2 is Durham, North Carolina. May 6, I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I will be In Los Angeles May 15th, Saratoga, California. May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California. And then June 4th, Portchester, New York. June 5th is Boston, Mass. And June 12th is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is June 13th, so suck on that. Everybody. Go to chelseahandler.com for tickets.

[Katherine]

If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to Dear check Chelsea. PodcastMail.com Dear Chelsea is a production of I Heart Media. Follow Chelsea on all socials, Elsie Handler and find Katherine on TikTok Flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live@chelsea handler.com.

[Chelsea Handler]

this podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down get energized and sharpen your focus. Focus Verasity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues. With Veracity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try Metabolism ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergies. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism Ignite is safe for everyone including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before metabolism Ignites cells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iHeart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V E R A C I T Y Health Co for up to 65% off and make sure you use my promo code iheart a

[BetterHelp Announcer]

better help ad international women's day is this march and it's a chance to celebrate women in all their brilliance. The leaders, the caregivers, the problem solvers, the hype friends, the quiet forces, the how do you do it all types of With a lot of strength and usually very little rest, therapy can be one way to support the incredible work you already do. A space just for you to reflect, reset and reconnect with what fuels you. Your goals, your boundaries, your joy. BetterHelp makes starting therapy simple by matching you with a qualified therapist based on your needs and preferences. No pressure, no guesswork, and if your first match isn't quite right, you can switch anytime. Here's to celebrating women and giving yourself support along the way. Visit betterhelp.com for 10% off. That's betterhelp.com when I was a young

[Chelsea Handler]

entrepreneur opening up a lemonade stand, I realized pretty quickly I could make a lot more money if I spiked it. So that's what I did. Suddenly I was making so much money I started flying first class on family vacations while the rest of my family sat in coach. That's called leadership. Fast forward a few years. Okay, maybe more than a few. And here I am, still an entrepreneur. But this time I upgraded my spiked lemonade recipe and put it in a can just for us. Introducing my Vodka Lemonade with Owls Brew. It's made with real vodka, real lemon juice and clean ingredients. No fake sweeteners, no weird stuff, and nothing that tastes like a science experiment. Just crisp, refreshing, not too sweet and perfect for people who want their drinks to be grown up but still fun. And because I care about you, you can use code DEARCELSEA for 20% off or find at a store near you at theowlsbrew.com the lemonade stand is officially open for adults. Dogs aren't just pets. We know this. Doug is one of the most important, if not the most important member of my family and certainly the only man I want in my bed at the moment. Since I want the absolute best for my Chow Chow Doug, I am making the switch to Ollie. They offer fresh protein packed meals made with real human grade ingredients. A win for Doug's health. And they offer five tasty recipes all slow cooked for top nutrition. A win for his happiness. Your dog's well being starts with their food and that's why Ollie delivers fresh human grade food that your dog will love. So head to ollie.com Chelsea tell them all about your dog and use Code Chelsea to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box so if you're not completely satisfied you'll get your money back. That's Ollie O L L I E.com Chelsea and enter code Chelsea to get 60% off your first box. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.