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Chelsea Handler
This is an I Heart Podcast.
Katherine
Let's take a quick vital break for.
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Katherine
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Yamanika Saunders
Hey there, it's Katherine. Just a little note about the audio quality in the intro. We had Chelsea calling in from a remote location so you may notice a little bit of a difference in the audio quality. Just for the intro we were Back in studio for the recording of this episode. Just wanted to let you know, enjoy the episode.
Katherine
Hi, Katherine.
Yamanika Saunders
Hi, Chelsea.
Katherine
Hi. How's it going? How's it going, girl? You know what?
Yamanika Saunders
It's going great. I'm having an easy summer, so that's pretty good. How about you?
Katherine
What are you up to?
Caller
Well, I'm dealing. My foot is getting better each day.
Katherine
I'm now.
Caller
I'm now back in a sneaker. And on Monday, they X ray my foot to make sure it's all healed and then I can start working out again. You know how I love that.
Yamanika Saunders
Back to Ben Bruno.
Caller
Yeah, back to Ben Bruno. He calls, he texts me every day.
Katherine
Going, how are you? How are you?
Caller
And I'm like, just fucking shut up. I'll see you when I see you. But I got a massive CO2 laser on my face also, which my face feels like somebody took sandpaper to it. Like, it still feels that way. And it's been like a week and a half, so I'm hoping that starts to calm down and my swelling's almost all gone, but I still am swollen from that. You should have seen the day that I took pictures and then I deleted them all from my phone because I'm like, oh, God, this is going to end up with in some sort of Jeffrey Epstein story.
Katherine
Yeah, you don't need that.
Yamanika Saunders
Going wide.
Caller
Exactly.
Yamanika Saunders
Have you been in your. What's the chamber called? Have you been here?
Katherine
Oh, yeah. Hyperbaric.
Caller
Every day I'm in my hyperbaric. I'm staying at my friend Kat's house until my house new finish date is August 22nd, which I won't even be here for. So that works out perfectly great. As usual, I'm taking my span. I'm taking advantage of all this time. Yesterday, I finished a fucking puzzle. I did an actual puzzle. I posted it on Instagram because I don't think I've ever done a puzzle.
Katherine
In my life and completed it.
Yamanika Saunders
It's kind of nice.
Caller
Is it?
Katherine
I know it's not.
Caller
I guess it is. I mean, it wasn't. It's not fun. I like activities that are fun. And that wasn't fun. That was just like, oh, my God, I'm so bored. I've read three books. Oh, you know what I wanted to mention when we were doing our book.
Yamanika Saunders
Roundup, I totally forgot. Right, Exactly. We did a book roundup episode for everybody. It's a minisode. And so that'll come out next Friday, August 8th.
Caller
I read a fucking awesome book and it's Called Red Notice by Bill Browder, who's, like, financial guy that invested in Russia after they got rid of Communism, so to speak. And then they public that everything went public. Like, all the government agencies went public. And so he went in and saw a huge opportunity for investment. And it's all about how corrupt and crazy Russia is. People die. And this is like a venture capitalist kind of investment banker guy.
Katherine
Not a vc, more of a banker, like, investment guy, but made billions of.
Caller
Dollars in Russia, and then they wanted him out, and then they realized that he was kind of, like, working the system, but legally. And it's all about. It's a fascinating read. And I forgot to mention that I was thinking of that book that if you're, like, into that kind of thing, which I'm into, I send it to my Russian nephew so he could stop defending Russians.
Yamanika Saunders
Perfect. Perfect. So it works in the family, too.
Caller
Yeah.
Yamanika Saunders
Excellent. I mean, obviously, I've sent you, like, 25 books to read for the podcast.
Caller
So I know so many, but our guest is one of my favorite people, you guys. She opens for me in Vegas. She's opening for me again this August 30th. My next gig in Vegas, my next night at The Cosmo is August 30th, so she'll be my opener. If you haven't seen her perform, you need to. She's hilarious. Also, I added a second show in West Hampton, so I'm doing Q nights in West Hampton in August. August 21, which is sold out. And then August 22. Yes. So please welcome a comedian, hopefully a new podcaster. She's had her own radio show. She is one hot fucking mess. Yamaneika Saunders.
Katherine
You're still sweating from last night. You were sweating last night, too. Are you going through perimenopause?
Chelsea Handler
Listen, bitch, I went the wrong way on the train.
Katherine
Well, whose fucking fault is that? Don't you live here? I know you don't know how to get on a fucking train. No, you are okay. Yamanika just walked in. She smells like marijuana, as usual. I have a video from us last night. I'll take your jacket. I'll take it.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I could just put all this shit on the ground.
Katherine
Yeah, just throw all her stuff on the floor, please.
Chelsea Handler
Right here is perfect. I just hit a little bit of something before I came up here. Don't do this. Yeah, thank you. Right there.
Katherine
Here she comes. One of your boobs is on the other side. What's going on? What. What happened after I left last night? Okay, first of all, Yamanika Saunders is on the podcast today. She's our very, very special guest.
Chelsea Handler
I might have to take this off. It's hot in here.
Katherine
God, Katherine, have you met Yama yet?
Yamanika Saunders
I have not. Only through her Instagram lives.
Katherine
Hold on a second. One second.
Yamanika Saunders
Getting undressed.
Chelsea Handler
It's hot in here. What? Yes.
Yamanika Saunders
This outfit? Yes, please.
Katherine
Okay. Hi, Yamaneika. Sit down, please. Let's go, let's go. You have lipstick on your teeth. Do you want to?
Chelsea Handler
I don't care. I don't give a fuck anymore.
Katherine
Okay, well, I'm trying to help you. Yeah, you can curse.
Chelsea Handler
Okay. Hello, everybody. Welcome to my show.
Yamanika Saunders
Hi, Amanika.
Chelsea Handler
Hi, my love. You're so cute.
Yamanika Saunders
Oh, thank you.
Chelsea Handler
And porcelain skin. This is the type of white I like. Why can't you get to that type of porcelain? How does she porcelain?
Katherine
You don't like my. First of all, you have fucking lipstick all over your face and your teeth. Yeah, look at yourself.
Chelsea Handler
Let me see. I see you smile. This is you, you self centered bitch here. Yeah.
Katherine
Okay, let me recap what happened last night. We went to dinner. It was supposed to be an innocent dinner.
Chelsea Handler
It was an innocent dinner until you came and you messed everything up. I was completely sane and sober before you. And then two minutes after you arrived, I was like, oh, wait, did this bitch put some acid in my back?
Katherine
No, I didn't bring any drugs. I didn't have any drugs.
Chelsea Handler
She brought two Australian lesbians and one.
Katherine
Is a lesbian, I think. I don't know the other one is a lesbian.
Chelsea Handler
Just. No, no, no, no, no. Definitely. If she ain't a lesbian, she need to talk to somebody, right?
Katherine
Okay.
Chelsea Handler
Cause she need a stylist immediately. And no disrespect, because I don't want to hear the lesbians. Oh, what do you mean we don't know how to dress?
Katherine
Should be talking about a stylist when you're in a fucking tankini.
Chelsea Handler
This is because I'm 46 years old.
Katherine
She's in a grown woman.
Chelsea Handler
I'm hot and I'm cold. So the part of me that's cold got tights on.
Katherine
Sorry. That her voice is going in and out. She's standing up and demonstrating.
Chelsea Handler
You don't think they know what standing up sound like?
Katherine
I have to explain to our listeners.
Chelsea Handler
You over here, this is an I heart. You ain't got the microphones to pick up motherfuckers when they go all over the place. You need to talk to the budgeting people. Did you tell them you white or is that currency? Up.
Katherine
Now they know. They know.
Chelsea Handler
They know that everybody black. Welcome to the club, Whitey Yama.
Katherine
Whenever I complain about anything political, she's like, bitches, this is on fucking you and you and your fucking white bitch friends. Who. I mean, I didn't vote for Donald Trump, obviously, but no, Chelsea.
Chelsea Handler
Always out of it. You know, the thing about it is, Chelsea, I'm not out of it. No, no, no. Yes, you are. Because. No, no, no. Not you. Not. But you are. Let me tell you why Chelsea, for some reason, Chelsea definitely the white woman that get it. But then she hang around a flock of white bitches that don't. So if I tell her she ain't shit, I want her to tell it to the other white bitches that's around her that they ain't shit. Cause she ain't shit. So that they become shit. Because now I keep telling her that they ain't shit through her.
Katherine
First of all, the white bitches I hang out with are all on the same team as I am. So what team is that?
Caller
Team.
Katherine
Fuck it. What do you mean? We're on the same team. We're not on fucking Donald Trump's team. We're on the. No, no, no. The women I hang out with, I.
Chelsea Handler
Don'T think they Donald Trump team. I do think that they white as hell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Salt team, all of that.
Katherine
Yeah. But a lot of white people can't help being white. I mean, and most of us can't help anyone.
Chelsea Handler
I don't know. Have you tried black men are trying to help white women every day. Bring on more moca latto children. So go talk to a black man. Have you talked to your black senator lately and asked him where I.
Katherine
Do I have a black senator?
Chelsea Handler
Do you?
Katherine
I don't.
Chelsea Handler
Are you sure?
Katherine
I know I don't have a black senator.
Chelsea Handler
Can somebody. I hope the senator is black and that you don't know it.
Katherine
I don't have a black senator in the state of California. I do not have a black senator. Maryland? Are you talking about Maryland? The governor. What are you. What are you fucking talking about? She's from Maryland, actually.
Chelsea Handler
Anyway, you try to put my shit out there. Maryland, where? They sent that motherfucker back to El Salvador that ain't even from motherfucking El Salvador.
Katherine
I can't say that when I tell.
Chelsea Handler
You white men doing whatever the fuck they want to. How the fuck do you send a motherfucker who's not even El Salvadorian to El Salvador and then motherfuckers from Maryland. How are we Doing this. Hello, white people. Is this thing on? Is this what you voted for? When y' all thought niggas was gonna be the one down there suffering the most? And look at you, huh? Look at you now. You's a nigga, too. That's my new. My current special is called White Nigga. You can get it on YouTube. It is perfect for this time. Cause everything that I talk about in my special, White Nigga, is happening right now. And if you are a white nigga, go listen to it. And I'm telling you right now, the second part is about white bitches. White women. Take responsibility for the shit that you did. Shut the fuck up and bend over now, bitch. Because it's Handmaid's Tale, right? It's a Handmaid's Tale. I never watched one fucking episode of that thing. But by the COVID I can tell you that white women gonna look like that shit by next Tuesday at 5:30. Okay, bitch, welcome to the club. And I'm a big black bitch with big greasy titties. And I'm gonna go straight in that kitchen, honey, and I'm gonna make some flapjacks. And I'm telling and I'm gonna get. Listen me, right? I'm going in there. Chelsea going in there, too. You know, if I gotta work underneath a white woman, I need Chelsea. We gonna have some fun, you know what I'm saying? At night when they tell all the slaves to go to sleep, and then Chelsea say, get underneath my bed. I'm gonna put you in a little drawer here. And then I'm gonna go in there. Hopefully I can fit. You know, I'm heavyset. And then when massa go to sleep, she gonna open a drawer, and then we gonna have like a little American Girl doll party.
Katherine
Please don't refer to me as massa, okay? I don't fucking appreciate that. No, no, no, bitch.
Chelsea Handler
I said massa. You got a massa too, bitch.
Katherine
Okay, I understand. I understand.
Chelsea Handler
Do you do. Hello, sweet chariot. You gonna be out there picking that cotton.
Katherine
Anyway, this is Yamaneka. She has a special out on YouTube that I would encourage every single person to watch because it's very. Women. I know you, like, a lot of us are Democrats and we vote for the right things. But I think what I've learned from all of my black sisters is how disappointed they are in constantly showing up and showing up for election after election, fighting the good fight, fighting the good fight. And yet half of the white women in this country don't seem to show up. They don't Seem to. And then they vote for somebody like this fucking asshole. And now we're living in this hell which unveils a new hell every single day. So it's a great learning and teaching special for all of us who are not as enlightened as we wanna be about actually the dynamic between people of color and women of color and what they have done for this country versus what white women have done for this country.
Chelsea Handler
Wow. Isn't that beautiful? See, every now and then you really get it.
Katherine
Let's talk about what happened last night.
Chelsea Handler
I understand that I like her.
Katherine
I know you love me and you can't help. There's nothing you can fucking do about it. There's nothing. You're in love with me. Actually, no.
Chelsea Handler
No, no. When you see me, you get googly eyes.
Katherine
You see me.
Chelsea Handler
You put your hands down my pants yesterday. Don't remember? And it was warm, right?
Katherine
No, I was wrong about that. You loved it.
Chelsea Handler
You fucking loved it. You loved that your hands were on my warm vagina.
Katherine
No, they weren't on your vagina. And your.
Chelsea Handler
Are white women's vaginas warm?
Katherine
No. It depends. I mean, yeah, usually they're not cold.
Chelsea Handler
Put your hand down in your field.
Katherine
They're not cold. I mean, vaginas aren't typically hot.
Chelsea Handler
Mine was hot.
Katherine
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
You getting hot, box?
Katherine
You're horny. You're horny. And she still thinks she's having a baby. I'm trying to convince her that that's not the right move.
Chelsea Handler
If any man wants to help me.
Katherine
You want to bring. But think about it. Bringing a baby into this world. Think about it.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
Katherine
Is that a nice thing to do to a baby?
Chelsea Handler
You know what? I'mma say this. You know what? Here's another teaching moment through babies. When you were talking about how black women feel. Right? About how white women continuously don't show up the way they ask us to show up for them. Right? Exactly.
Katherine
Exactly.
Chelsea Handler
Yes. Here's the real reality. Nobody. Cause people like, well, it's my, you know, I'm thinking about myself, my family. Nobody has a problem, right. With white women going, hey, I like to have a great life.
Katherine
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
I'd like to vote for things that are in my interest. That's totally fine. The problem is when the things that are in your interest and that are gonna help you are gonna disenfranchise and disadvantage somebody else, and you still vote for it. That's what makes you a catch youh next Tuesday, right? On Wednesday? Cause it ain't Wednesday. Right. Or is it Thursday? Still a cunt. So the reality is, do what you want, be who you want, but think about the repercussions of what your space and taking up space in the world looks like for everybody else. So in terms of wanting a child. Yeah. I do think that is very selfish of me. Right. I'm 46 now.
Katherine
Not necessarily.
Chelsea Handler
Well, I just wanna say, just to be aware, I am 46 by the time I'm ready. I told you. I said maybe 48. Now I moved it to 50. You know, I never know when I'm ready. I've come from a family that.
Katherine
Definitely not ready. Now, I just want to put that out there.
Chelsea Handler
No.
Katherine
Okay. I've traveled with you, I've been on the. You are not ready to have a baby. So. Okay, I tried.
Chelsea Handler
Excellent.
Katherine
You're a giant baby, okay? You can't show up anywhere on time without fucking things hanging out of your bags, without fucking wigs and hair. I mean, you don't even know what the fuck is going to happen. Sometimes we have to drop her off on the. We pick her up and she's on the side of the road like a streetwalker.
Chelsea Handler
Coming out of it. The part is. That's true. Listen, in terms of the baby. Oh, God, I want the baby, but I do. I am thinking realistically, like, also, with as old as I am, you know, no disrespect to women, can have babies, you know, but you know, life expectancy, right, for the child, right. Is like my kid. I'm gonna see them till they're 25, maybe 26, you know, so I don't know. It is scary.
Katherine
And also your schedule, your standup. You're out every night, you're doing standup all the time.
Chelsea Handler
Well, no, no. I could see my kid until 30 at this point, right?
Katherine
36. It depends how long you have.
Chelsea Handler
35, maybe, you know.
Katherine
Okay. Anyway, we'll put a pin in the baby thing, okay?
Chelsea Handler
You trying to pop the ball?
Katherine
I'm gonna work hard to prevent it from happening. I'm going to try to work hard to convince you not to have a baby.
Chelsea Handler
I told you we could co mother the baby.
Katherine
I think I will end up co mothering the baby. And that's also why I don't want you to have one because I don't have the fucking bandwidth. Okay? Last night I went to dinner. Where were. We went to Harlem. What was the Harlem.
Chelsea Handler
We were in the Apollo. Inside the Apollo.
Katherine
Was that the Apollo?
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, it was, but it's kind of gutted out now. But it's Also a hotel. It's like a whole bunch of stuff going on there.
Katherine
I thought they still had the theater at the Apollo.
Chelsea Handler
They do. Oh, yeah. But then there's like another. But where we went was the Victoria inside restaurant.
Katherine
That was nice. That was nice. I like that chef. He was.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, he was amazing.
Katherine
I had grilled oysters. I had two orders of grilled oysters. That's how fucking good they were.
Chelsea Handler
She was trying to have sex with me. And I said, take it easy on those oysters. I know how you get. Yeah.
Katherine
Anyway, I came, I showed up with some friends, two lesbians. And then another friend of mine, another homosexual friend of mine.
Chelsea Handler
Right. No dick for me. You always come with nothing for me. Well, listen, I want a few pieces of dick.
Katherine
My driver. I have a driver.
Chelsea Handler
No, don't do that.
Katherine
Well, no, I'm gonna.
Chelsea Handler
I'm gonna.
Katherine
Because you was sexually assaulted.
Chelsea Handler
I was not told. Don't do that.
Katherine
Okay. My driver, Rafa.
Chelsea Handler
I love him.
Katherine
Okay? Yes.
Chelsea Handler
Don't do that.
Katherine
Last night. Last night, Rafa said, hey, can someone bring me a coffee outside? Cause he was outside. Guess what? And Yaya came over and said, don't let Yama bring him the coffee. Cause she'll sexually. She'll hit on him. I said, I know. We've already been through this.
Chelsea Handler
The man is married.
Katherine
Rafa is scared of Yama. Yes, he is married. No, he loves you.
Chelsea Handler
But no, I love him. I would never do that as a wife. But no, no, no, no. See, the thing is. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Katherine
I'm not done with the story. I'm not.
Chelsea Handler
Sexual harassment is being nice. Remember who's talking ke everywhere we go. Oh, she's being nice. She must wanna fuck him.
Katherine
Sexual ass. Everywhere we go. Wherever we go. And we've been on the road together many times. She hits on either the security guard, the driver, the guy, remember? From Houston.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. I got the picture. I look at it every day.
Katherine
I got the picture with him. He wanted the picture with you.
Chelsea Handler
I know. He took a picture. No, you sent me the picture of you and him together like a bitch. But I still use it to masturbate.
Katherine
She was hitting. So Rafa.
Chelsea Handler
One night, I just cropped Chelsea out of it. So sometimes I don't have time to crop her out, you know, I'm ready to. I just had to look at both.
Katherine
Of them, who is a married man and has a family. He drove Yamma home one night when we were out up to shenanigans in New York City. He dropped me off at my Hotel. And then he dropped Yama off, and I said, rafa, if she makes you uncomfortable, it's okay to be firm with her. You're a married man. And the next morning, when I saw him, he was trying to be a gentleman about it, but he said, she's very aggressive. He said, she's very aggressive. So she was pressuring my driver to fornicate with her.
Chelsea Handler
No, I was not.
Katherine
But I've seen you do it to almost any.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, but once I found out, you know, I don't be bringing up no or not.
Katherine
What about in New Orleans? Remember at the restaurant with Amy? We went to New Orleans? Yeah, yeah. And the waiter.
Chelsea Handler
Oh, you guys gave him my phone number.
Katherine
Amy. Amy Schumer gave him your phone number? She did. That was nice of her. And did you hear from him?
Chelsea Handler
Wait, this.
Katherine
Stay on track. Stay on track.
Chelsea Handler
You stay on track.
Katherine
Okay, so then we go to dinner last night, and then she has, like, three friends there. Two guys there, right? Three. How many people were we? It just kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger.
Chelsea Handler
Everywhere I turned, somebody was there.
Katherine
Yes. And then I thought these two people were with you guys, and they weren't. So I just added them to our group. I was two random. One was a French woman, and this other woman who was. She was funny. So, I mean, she deserves. No, no, no.
Chelsea Handler
I knew her.
Katherine
Oh, you did? Cause Yaya was like, who the fuck are these two people?
Chelsea Handler
Oh, they were at the house.
Katherine
Yeah, they came to the house.
Chelsea Handler
No, no, no, no. That's my friend's wife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. I knew her. The French woman. We didn't know. No, she's Argentinian.
Katherine
Okay. Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
And we didn't know her, but she wanted us.
Katherine
She was smoking, so I thought she was French.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She had to get the cigarettes from France, though, cause of the tariffs.
Katherine
But. So we go back to. We go back to Yama's house, and we're smoking weed and whatever else, but Yama decides to disrobe. There's about 10 of us over there.
Chelsea Handler
I took my shirt off. I'm in perimenopause. It's hot.
Katherine
Okay, well, we have to get you estrogen and progesterone, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Handler
Nobody in my apartment wanted my vagina, not even the lesbians. So that's why it was okay for me to take my shirt off.
Katherine
Yeah. But, yeah, yeah, I have a video that I'm probably gonna post.
Chelsea Handler
Post it. No, no, no.
Katherine
I know you don't care.
Chelsea Handler
Make sure you AI my stomach down. Cause I didn't. I thought I was a lot thinner than that. Do me a favor. You wanna go with me to talk to my drug guy after this?
Katherine
About what?
Chelsea Handler
Do we go over his house and like smoke out and have some drugs?
Katherine
Ugh, I can't. I have to go get a mammogram.
Chelsea Handler
Oh, let me go with you. Get a mammogram.
Katherine
You want to get a mammogram with me?
Chelsea Handler
Can you add me?
Katherine
I don't think that's how it works, but I would love to try.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, let's try it. You can't pull no strings with your name.
Katherine
I mean, I could, but this isn't my regular hospital.
Chelsea Handler
Well, were you just going around putting your titties in other hospitals? Yeah, because I'm saying. What do you mean?
Katherine
Cause I just found something in my shoulder and I just want to make sure I get an ultrasound. Not a lump or anything. No, no.
Chelsea Handler
You ain't got time to be having nothing, bitch, I got to ride your coattails.
Katherine
I'm trying to ride. I know, I. I know. I want you.
Chelsea Handler
You better get your name on the prayer list, bitch. And you better ask the Lord to remove it.
Katherine
It's not anything serious. I'm sure it's actually gone now. I just want. Is it?
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I'll yell it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, so you don't need no mammogram with me, bitch. I'll cut it off.
Katherine
But yeah, I mean, you could probably come with me and squeeze your way in. I mean, do you have any. Have you ever. Have you had a mammogram recently? You have to have one every year. You know that, right?
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, no, I've had. I'm.
Katherine
Cause with those titties, I can't even imagine what you must go through.
Chelsea Handler
I've gotten the same lady three times and she remembers my breasts.
Katherine
Yeah, well, they're hard to forget. I mean, they're massive.
Chelsea Handler
But I didn't know. I was like, I didn't want to ask them. I was like, you know it's inappropriate, right, to be like, are you gay?
Katherine
Yeah, it is inappropriate to say that to actually, I mean.
Chelsea Handler
But I mean like I wanted to know. Cause like, maybe I was turning her on. Uh huh. But if I asked her that and she wasn't gay, it's like, did I look like I'm harassing her?
Katherine
So then we were supposed to go dancing last night and we were gonna.
Chelsea Handler
Go to somebody Snowes.
Katherine
We were gonna go dancing. But what happened when we got back to Yamanika's was that we ended up staying there for about an hour and. And everyone was so stoned. I was stoned. That was great.
Chelsea Handler
We had so many joints in rotation.
Katherine
I know. It was really fun. It was really fun. But at a certain point, you know, I check out, and that was at around 11 o'. Clock. I was like, it's time to go home. So I didn't go dancing. Did you go dancing?
Chelsea Handler
No, but I went to Sherry's after.
Katherine
Oh, you did?
Chelsea Handler
And we played spades.
Katherine
Sherri Shepherd.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
Katherine
At her house or did you go back to the.
Chelsea Handler
Okay, yeah, her house. And then I went home and then, you know, some of my friends got high and somebody had to stay at my house. Oh, tonight? Yes, last night.
Katherine
Oh, really? A man?
Chelsea Handler
But yeah.
Katherine
Did you have sex? She has two cats at her house.
Chelsea Handler
So the cats have to know when a man's coming over. They gotta prepare.
Katherine
She was looking for her cats for about 40 minutes when we got there. It's not that big of an apartment.
Chelsea Handler
No, no, no, no, no. My cats, I've trained them not to trust white people. So more than one white person walking the door, they got to go.
Katherine
The cats came out from under the couch.
Chelsea Handler
They was going somewhere, looking.
Katherine
The cat came out from under the couch and was running. And I'm not exaggerating, 60 miles an hour into the kitchen. I was like, what the fuck was that? And she's like, oh, that's. What's his name? Prior. Prior, yeah.
Chelsea Handler
He was like. He said, no, no, no. He heard a lot of passive aggression and not taking accountability in the apartment. So he had to go and make sure his NAACP CAT card was activated.
Katherine
So with regard moving back to the political situation. Cause you. Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
What's going on here?
Katherine
How are you feeling these days about everything that's going on? Just America kind of got what it deserved. Is that where you are?
Chelsea Handler
You know, everybody make a big deal. Oh, like Kamala. Did she say, I told you so? Did she say, who cares? I hope she does say I told you so. I don't know why I would change my name to I told you so, Harris. You see what I'm saying? Fuck a Kamala. It's I told you so, Harris. Because the reality is those of us who had common sense knew that this was gonna happen. I think what we have to be very aware of is that the disease is not Donald Trump. The disease is the people that were comfortable with somebody who has a spirit that we have watched present itself already in the presidency to then go on board and say, we do like the fact that he wants to get immigrants out, knowing that this was a place that was stolen from the Native Americans and is built on immigrants. We do want him to put women in the times when they couldn't, knowing how women have contributed to society. We do want him to put blacks back in their place when they don't. Knowing the contributions that black people have made, not only to the soil here, but to the progression of this country. And it doesn't advantage us at any point in time because we will never have the power that we need to really be free in this country. They said with all of that and all of these people who are serving the greater good, even though America never serves them, we still gonna say fuck you to them, because we want it all. Only to realize that this country that has been built on white supremacy and under the guise of racism, being strong, is really a society about classism. So at the end of the day, once they have separated the largest group at the bottom and divided us across boards, now it's easy to take over everything because you don't have the power of black people. Right now, we are tired. What are we like? We've been dealing with this shit time and time again. And no matter how many times we put ourselves in an environment with white people and have white friends, we keep saying, this is our plight. It's still kind of like, oh, you know, but now white people have to see the same shit. And I don't have time to be holding white people's hands into oppression. I don't have time. Can you believe it? Can you. What is happening? I don't know. When we kept saying, stop killing black people and black lives matter, people were like, oh, no, it's all lives. We're not saying black lives because we don't think it's all lives. We're saying black lives because you don't know that black lives matter. But then you wanna gaslight us into believing that we're trying to be this. You know, they wanna be better. They wanna be. No, we just wanna be a part of.
Katherine
But I think a lot of white people do understand that. And there's a group of people that don't understand that. It's not all blanket. You can't say about black people or white people.
Chelsea Handler
Let me. No, no, no. I will say that. I will say that. Because what happens is when somebody tells you how they hurt, right? We're talking in general. A person says how they hurt, you can either listen and go, how can I Help you not have that hurt. Right. And that's very centered around that person. Or they can tell you how they hurt and you can go, I didn't cause that hurt.
Katherine
Uh huh.
Chelsea Handler
Whether you cause it or not has nothing to do with the fact that this person is hurting. Mm. So when we have a conversation, especially as a black woman, and I go, as a black woman, this is what's happening to me. And I'll have men go, well, I don't know, as a woman. And maybe certain things as a woman white women can relate to, and then they appreciate. Then there's parts that white women will not relate to because it's a problem as a black person. And then those things come together. As a black woman, if I say to a white woman, here's what's going on, and that white woman says, well, you know, it's not me. It's like, okay, bitch, it ain't you. But I still got this shit going on, so how am I gonna help it? And we gotta stop this people being defensive when somebody says, this is what's happening. Cuz it doesn't matter whether you support or whether you. Not all white people. We can only say not all white people. If it was like Donald Trump didn' it was enough white people. And because it's enough white people. And we keep saying not all white people. We ain't focused on how many fucking white people fucked up, how many fucking white women fucked up, how many fucking people of color fucked up just because they thought they weren't the people of color that were gonna be disenfranchised even further. So I'm not here to give any grace to how anybody feels about what I'm telling you about what's fucking happening. Because when we play this game, we have a dictator. Mm.
Katherine
Well said. Well said.
Chelsea Handler
I know she wants to eat my pussy after that. Look at her. And I saw a little nipple coming out of the little shirt. You bitch.
Katherine
We're gonna take a break and we'll be right back with Yamaneika. I want to talk about something deeply personal. My feet. Are you excited yet? I've been wearing ultra running shoes lately, and honestly, life changing. They're now my go to for everything from runs to hikes, to dog walks to airport sprints, you name it. They've got extra room up front so your toes can actually spread out and move the way that they're supposed to, which is way better than most running shoes that cram my toes together. Plus, the lower heel drop means your stride feels more Natural. It's like my body finally went, oh, this is how we're supposed to move. They are crazy comfortable. And yes, they help me chase that runner's high. You know, mama loves her dopamine and feeling strong and actually wanting to work out. So if you're getting into running, getting back into it, or just want healthier feet so you can get on a feed finder, Altra is where it's at. Find them@altrurunning.com and use code Chelsea for 10% off your order. That's a L, T R-A running.com. stay out there. Let me switch gears for a second.
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Katherine
In other words, looking older.
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Katherine
All right, listen up, people. It's Chelsea Handler, and we need to talk about something really important. And they're called orgasms. If you're not making them a priority, PinkCherry.com is here to finish. Orgasms boost your mood, lower stress, and help you sleep. And let's be honest, we could all use a little release these days. From the iconic magic wand to we vibes, couples, toys to the game changing Womanizer, pinkcherry.com has everything you need. Solo or with someone, feeling good is the goal. So go to pinkcherry.com and save up to 80% off site wide. You deserve it if you know you owe. Okay, the bad guys are back. And they've brought back up. I'm talking about Dreamworks Animations, the bad guys 2. And it is going to be the baddest comedy of the summer. I mean, how could it not the all star cast is back for round two. Sam Rockwell, Marc Maron, Craig Robinson, Anthony Ramos and Awkwafina make up the world's most lovable crew of criminals who are trying and hilariously failing to stay on the straight and narrow. And that's when a new crew shows up. The Bad Girls. Played by favorites like Danielle Brooks and Natasha Lyon. And they are hilarious. They pull the Bad Guys into a globe trotting heist that's bigger and badder than anything they've ever faced. I mean, with so much action and comedy, plus this ridiculously talented cast, The Bad Guys 2 is the kind of movie that you just have to see in theaters. Get tickets now for Dreamworks Animations The Bad Guys II, in theaters this Friday, August 1st. Rated PG. Okay, we're back with Yamanika Saunders. First of all, follow her on Instagram. She gets banned a lot on Instagram. She does. She gets shadow.
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea was like, I was trying to watch something. Where are you? I'm like, girl, they took me down again.
Katherine
How do they. How do they do that? What do they do? They tell you why?
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, because I started saying cracker. It's done. It's done. You can say nigga all day long, but cracker. White people like, little sucker shit. Remember when white women were like, karen is the N word. We're like, what, bitch?
Katherine
I like being called a cracker. I'm not gonna pretend I don't. I fucking like it. It's funny. You know, I was in South Africa with my sister once, and we had this kind of guide in South Africa, and, you know, the racism is thick, thick there. And we had this guide who was kind of like, giving us his version. He's a white man. He was giving us his version of, like, what happened? The history of South Africa with the Dutch and the English and la la la. And his version was. And after I. I hated. I hated this guy from the minute I met him. I just. My sister knew. She's like, you've met my sister, Smoke? She was just like, oh, you're not. I didn't like the way he looked. I didn't like his body. I didn't like his clothing. I was like, oh, this guy is.
Chelsea Handler
And you shut down when you don't like me, you get quiet.
Katherine
Yeah, I don't like it. And I. I have no poker face. I can't. And as soon as he walked away, my sister looked at me and she goes, that's. He's the reason why black people came up with the word cr. Okay, we're going to take some callers. We're giving advice.
Yamanika Saunders
Are you ready for this, Yamanika?
Katherine
Yeah, she's ready.
Chelsea Handler
Are they ready?
Katherine
She's ready.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I don't think they are, but it's going to be okay.
Katherine
Is anyone ready?
Yamanika Saunders
So our first caller is Alicia. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a 39 year old stay at home mom to a 15 month old son who is just a cutie. I like to microdose with my vape pen and enjoy gummies regularly. I quit smoking it as it's the worst way to consume, but since I have been a cannabis user my entire life, I feel like it's part of who I am. Lately I've been contemplating whether it's serving me. I go from thinking it's great, it's not a problem. I enjoy the creativity it provides and I feel like I understand my son better when I'm high. But then I think about the fact that I'm high all day long and figure it can't be that healthy. So when I try to wait until after 12pm or after 5pm, I always negotiate with myself and end up vaping. The worst part is my husband doesn't know I'm high all day. He just thinks I use it at night. Night he has an office studio in the backyard, so he's home all day but not inside. So it's very easy for me to hide it from him. But I hate the fact that I'm even hiding it at all. I live in an area where it's easily accessible and not considered a big deal. But because I use it so frequently, I often wake up feeling groggy or just meh and feel like I'm doing something wrong. I know I'm not addicted because when I go out of town or I'm somewhere, I can't bring my pen. It's not a problem, but I'm having serious trouble only consuming it at night and staying sober during the day. As a regular user yourself, what do you think about this? Do I have a problem? Alicia.
Katherine
Hi, Alicia. Hey. Wow. She's right there.
Chelsea Handler
That's you. What? You a writer? What kind of. That was like a novel.
Katherine
I was giving context.
Chelsea Handler
No, it was beautiful. Thank you. Yeah. Cause you know, America's not doing well in literacy right now, so we need to put you out there in the forefront. I say smoke and keep smoking.
Katherine
I would say if you're having feelings like that though, if you're having feelings about smoking, if you can smoke and you're carefree about it and you're not worried about it and overthinking about it, then that's one thing. But it sounds like you're definitely worried about the amount that you're consuming and that you're consuming it all day and that you're not hiding it from your husband. And like everything you're saying sounds like you just have a really bad habit of smoking it too frequently. The problem with smoking weed too much is that it doesn't give you the buzz that you get when you, when you take breaks. Like when you smoke it less frequently, there's a better buzz. Like if I get high all day long, I become a little dead in the head. That's not my idea of a good time. I like to have a joint or smoke weed at night. There are days where I smoke all day long. If I'm skiing in Whistler and I have a pipe and I'm like, okay, I'll just take hits of it all day long. But overmore. It's not a great habit all day long every day. That's just not the best use of your time. You can always reward yourself in the evening. You don't have to deprive yourself. But I would say to create a new habit around your son, kind of respecting your relationship with your son. He doesn't need his mom to be high to be around him, you know, not that that's what you're saying, but it's a little bit what you're saying. And it's just better. I mean, it's not better.
Alicia
It's not the right word. It's just, it's creates an environment of just a relaxed, like fun. If he's like a little fussy, I'm just like not important, you know. So I just feel like it creates a positive environment. Even though, yeah, there's. I do think that it's not a good idea to be high all day. The trouble I have is just stopping through the day. Cause once I start that first morning hit, then it's like a snowball effect.
Katherine
Of course I've been there. I know exactly what you're talking about. I would say to put your vape pens away until 6 o' clock at night. I would say to just experiment with that. Make it a rule for a week to just not smoke during the day. You can do it. You have power within you to make that decision and to follow through and just have it at night. And I honestly think you're gonna enjoy it more so at night. And you're going to Start. The first couple days are gonna be difficult, but it's not gonna be difficult after that. If you wanna be present for your son, I know you do. That's what we're talking, we're here to talk about. If you wanna be present for your son, you don't have. This is just so you know, when you have a child, this is also gonna come up for you. You know you're not gonna be able to smoke weed all day.
Chelsea Handler
No, no, I'm very.
Katherine
Or you will be. You'll just do whatever you want.
Chelsea Handler
No, I'm just watching you in awe. Like the information you're giving is amazing.
Katherine
Well, I think that you and I think that it's just a good, it's a good example to set for yourself and for your child. And you should also let your husband know, hey, you know what? I'm only gonna smoke weed after 6 o'.
Chelsea Handler
Clock.
Katherine
From now on, I've decided that's what I'm gonna do. Sometimes I pick up a pen during the day and just get through the phase of that. Get through a phase of creating a new habit. And once you are through that phase, once you go like 30 days of just doing it after 6pm Then every once in a while if you, if there's a moment that's so stressful during the day and you're like, oh God, I could use a hit. You can use it incrementally, but you have to understand the slippery slope. When we take one hit and you're home all day with your kid, you're gonna take another hit and you're gonna take another one, and you're gonna take another one. Right? So it's up to you to rehabituate your life and you're gonna be better for it and you're gonna be a better parent. You're gonna feel better about yourself. The reason you're calling is cause you're having misgivings about the way that you're using candles.
Alicia
Yeah, I think it's a problem.
Katherine
So if you think that it is.
Chelsea Handler
You don't look high.
Katherine
Are you? Yeah, I'm not used to. Okay, great, great. So I would just say that you don't have to like quit marijuana. Just use it more sparingly and be more discerning about when you want to get high. You know, it should be fun, it should be a celebration. When I smoke weed all day, I'm not laughing, I'm not having the best time. I eventually just want to go to sleep at 7. Like it's not, it's not helpful to smoke weed all day, but it's. It's really fun. Like last night we came, I had a joint. I can't travel with weed anymore. Cause I'm so paranoid about getting pulled over or stopped at tsa because everyone knows how much I love drugs. It's very public, and my whole new set is about everywhere I take drugs. So I have to stop. I've basically told on myself. So I'm with you. I totally understand, and I get you, but I would advise you to do that. And you can do it. You cannot smoke weed until 6pm you're completely capable of doing that. I have no doubt in my mind.
Alicia
I think I need, like a lockbox or something.
Chelsea Handler
That's what I say.
Yamanika Saunders
They have, like, little lock boxes you can get for your cell phone. And you just, like, put them in there, set your little timer for whenever you want. And, like, are you gonna go to the store and get more? Probably not. Like, you're gonna wait?
Alicia
Yeah, it's up at the end of my street.
Yamanika Saunders
Damn it. So close.
Katherine
What? A weed store?
Sponsor Voice
Yeah.
Katherine
Oh, okay. Well, but I also think, like, have some accountability. Like, tell your husband so that you can be accountable. You. I mean, just say, hey, I'm gonna give. I'm gonna give you my vape pen. I don't want it until 6:00'.
Chelsea Handler
Clock.
Katherine
Okay. Just hold it for me.
Yamanika Saunders
Yeah. And I don't even think you need to tattle on yourself for what you have been doing. Just be like, hey, this has been tempting me. So, like, just keep it in your office until six or whatever.
Katherine
Yeah. Then you're a winner all the way around.
Alicia
Yeah. I would hate it if he saw me and I didn't realize and, like, it became an issue because I don't want to lie to him or him to be like, what are you doing all day? I think he would think I'm extremely irresponsible.
Katherine
Yeah, but you're not. You're not.
Chelsea Handler
You're not. And what he doing.
Katherine
Don't beat yourself up about it. Just. Just make a new habit.
Alicia
Yeah.
Katherine
Yeah. Okay. Okay.
Alicia
Thanks so much, ladies.
Yamanika Saunders
Thanks, Alicia.
Katherine
Thanks for calling in.
Alicia
Okay, bye.
Chelsea Handler
Bye.
Katherine
I just want to make a note that Yamadika's advice was to continue to smoke weed with her baby. So let's make sure that's on record.
Chelsea Handler
No, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. But what I'm saying is, to be fair, I was very impressed with you.
Katherine
Mm, thank you.
Chelsea Handler
You know what I'm saying? Like, the information you gave was so thoughtful.
Yamanika Saunders
She's good at this. Yamaneka.
Chelsea Handler
I know. I need to start tuning in. Why you don't ever give me advice like this?
Katherine
Because you don't fucking listen, first of all, to anything I'm not.
Chelsea Handler
Fair enough. That's true.
Katherine
Remember?
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Katherine
Okay.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
Yamanika Saunders
Well, our next caller is Allie and Yamanika. You're an oldest sister, right?
Chelsea Handler
Yes, yes, I have. I have three half sisters. We share. Same. The same father. Yes.
Yamanika Saunders
All right, this is a little bit about having to take care of your sisters. So Ali says. Dear Chelsea, I've been a fan for longer than I care to admit because it will age us both either way. I'm emailing because, like you, I lost a brother at a young age, and it's impacted my family for years in different ways. I'm the youngest of four. My sister, who's 10 years older, has continually made bad decisions in the years that have followed. And I've always been the one to hold things together for our family. This past year was the final straw when she fell prey to a bitcoin scam and my parents bailed her out to keep her out of jail. Honestly, I'm tired of being the one to keep together. I want to finally break this cycle and figure out how to move forward with her while staying true to my own boundaries to protect myself and my kids. I promise I will get a therapist due and not just rely on the show. But I would love your advice. Ally.
Katherine
Hi. Ali.
Chelsea Handler
Hello.
Katherine
Hi. So nice to see you. Nice to see you, too. This is our special guest. Yamaneke Saunders is here today.
Chelsea Handler
Hi, Ali.
Katherine
Hi.
Chelsea Handler
How are you? Hello.
Katherine
That's such a bummer that your sister is so susceptible to all of that and that fell for a bitcoin scheme and scam. So what are you thinking about doing? You wanna cut her off or, like, where are you right now?
Allie
Well, like I said in my email, I did seek a therapist, and she has been truly wonderful. Like, has really helped me navigate the complex relationships not only between my sister and my parents and kind of my brother too, as you know, like, after losing a brother, everybody is affected in different ways. But, yeah, so I think she has really helped me in understanding how we all got to the point that we're at. I don't think I'm ready to cut them all out. Definitely still on the table, but at this point, not really because we don't really have a lot of family around here. My husband's from the uk, so, like, they are our Family. So it's complicated as you.
Chelsea Handler
As you know.
Katherine
Yeah, I mean, I think that, like, I don't know that there's a necess. It's necessary to do anything in this moment. Like, I think considering your family history and everything you're saying, like, most parents are gonna bail their kid out when. When that happens. And just because she's made some bad decisions doesn't mean that she's worth cutting out of your life. You wanna really build, and it sounds like you're already doing that with your therapist. Build an understanding and empathy and compassion for the fact that she's experiencing life in a different way than you are, that she's not as responsible as you are. You know, like, we all have a lot of judgment when people don't act the way that we do. You know, certain people. I know I do. I have a real problem with judging others when I think they make stupid decisions or they're not looking after themselves. But it's really not your job to be policing everyone. Sometimes showing up with extra love and doubling down on love and kindness helps people get out of ruts too. So there's another way, like an avenue to go about it. I mean, what do you think?
Chelsea Handler
I've had a situation like that not to get too much into my own personal, you know. Cause it involves some of my family. I'll use this one example with my mother. My mother, I can tell her a thousand times I don't want her to do something because I don't want it to hurt her, you know, disadvantage her. I know what the result of that's gonna be, and I'm trying to protect her. And my mother will still go, okay, let me still be involved with this partner, and go, mom, you know, we know what's going. But, you know, God told me, okay, so the boundary is because watching you be frustrated by a situation with somebody that I know is frustrate, is gonna frustrate you or take advantage of you. And you still are doing that. I can't go on that emotional journey with you. I'mma be here as your daughter. I love you. But when this thing blows back on you, like it's done time and time again, I'm not your resource to have a conversation about how to get over that. So if you're fine with me not being there for you at all while you handle that, continue to do what you do. But any point in time that you expect me to be emotionally there and supportive with you, my opinion has to also matter in the decisions that you're making. No.
Allie
And I think that makes perfect sense. That's a healthy boundary, I think. And like I said, I'm learning how to set those with everybody. And I think, yeah, that definitely helps because it's like. I've also been reading Mel Robbins book about let them, and it's so fricking hard.
Chelsea Handler
Yes, let them. You seem like a very loving person. And that's the thing about it, right. When you're loving and you're. Cause you'll be surprised. Reciprocity in people is not a given. Right? Right. Sometimes you be like, why would somebody do that? I would never do that. I would never do this to my parents. I would never put. And then some people don't even think like that. And if you're thinking for yourself emotionally and for your sister and all the nonsense she get, you're doing a lot of emotional thinking and what's left over for you, then you feel taken advantage of. Right. You feel discredited. You feel unheard of because you keep yelling to people that, no, preserve your energy for you. You need to preserve something for you. And your parents love you and they'll be there. But they also got another daughter they gotta fucking deal with. And that's. They birthed her, not you. You're her sister. You're not her mother and her father.
Allie
And I think that's fair. I think where some of the complication comes in is my parents, even though I'm the youngest of the four of us, they expect me to be the one to kind of help her learn right from wrong and, like, to be the middle person. Cause I've always been the middle person between my parents and my sister. When I cut myself out of that, they were kind of just. They were mad at me, and I.
Chelsea Handler
Was like, what the hell?
Allie
Like, I'm doing the. I'm trying to set my own boundaries for myself and my kids. And the fact that they didn't respect that really annoyed me too.
Yamanika Saunders
So it's like, anytime you set a healthy boundary, like, the people who benefited from your lack of boundaries are going to be upset with that. And, like, that's kind of okay. The other thing I will say is I love this idea of, like, doubling down on love. And I'll also just say loving someone doesn't necessarily mean that, like, you're the shield that keeps them from experiencing consequences. And it sounds like some of the boundaries you're putting in place have maybe been active in that. In that way.
Allie
Yes, absolutely. And I think that's part of it, too. Is like we're all kind of figuring out new roles and dynamics in the family, with me removing myself from that. So navigating kind of where we go from here.
Chelsea Handler
That's what I love, too. I want you to understand, Allie, that's also.
Allie
Hold up.
Chelsea Handler
What I'm telling you is there are people in the world that will take advantage of kindness and love. You understand? You don't have to stop loving. You have to turn it off or hold. Doesn't mean respect is not there. Okay. You understand? Yep. Because a lot of people. Not that I'm against what they're saying. I'm not standing down on this. Doubling down on love. Love yourself. You can't love everybody. And people will take advantage. Once they've shown you they're taking advantage, you've got to start making decisions that are going to benefit your own mental capacity. Trust me. I'm 46. I'm perimenopausal. I've been sweating here and there. I don't give a fuck about nobody right now. You understand? It's taken all in me to give a fuck about you right now. Cause I'm perimenopausal.
Katherine
She didn't know, by the way. She didn't know she was perimenopausal until I told her last night, so.
Chelsea Handler
But I wish you well, Allie. I see you have such a beautiful spirit. Don't lose it, my love.
Katherine
And healthy boundaries are the best because you're not only creating them, you're demonstrating them for other people. Like Katherine said, they're not gonna like it in the beginning. And, like, you admitted that your parents didn't like it, but you are creating a different dynamic and a different paradigm with your family. And that's more important.
Chelsea Handler
Right?
Allie
And I think that's what I wanna model for my kids.
Chelsea Handler
Right?
Allie
Like, yeah, I want them to want to spend time with me as an adult. And I want them to. Whereas I don't have that with my family. It's kind of like an obligation sometimes. And so I want to have better relationships overall.
Katherine
Yeah.
Yamanika Saunders
Well, you're doing the work to get there.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, for sure. Thank you.
Katherine
Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for calling in.
Chelsea Handler
Yes, thank you.
Allie
Good luck with perimenopause. I'll be there in a few years, I'm sure.
Chelsea Handler
Thank you, my love. Thanks.
Katherine
Bye. I like that you're just gonna go around sweating, you know, like, in the meantime, like, what steps?
Chelsea Handler
I don't know what to do. I have to find out about this from me.
Katherine
I diagnosed you last night. You have to go to your obgyn. You have one, right?
Chelsea Handler
I have a vagina. Of course.
Katherine
Okay.
Chelsea Handler
Do you think people don't have women? There are women that don't have an obgyn.
Katherine
I don't know. I mean, some people don't. Yeah, some people just don't have doctors that they go to regularly.
Chelsea Handler
That's crazy. I'm on my. My chart all the time.
Katherine
My brother doesn't go to a doctor ever. Ever. They never. Both of my brothers never go. And maybe it's a male thing.
Chelsea Handler
This is a man thing, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't think they need to check out anything.
Katherine
What's next, Katherine?
Yamanika Saunders
Well, our next question. This one's just an email, not a caller. It's a little bit tricky, but, Yamanika, I listened to your conversation with TS Madison about tricky trans questions, which I would really recommend to anyone. It's a great conversation. I learned so much.
Katherine
Nice. How do that? How do people listen to it?
Yamanika Saunders
It's on YouTube. So just look up TS Madison and Yamanika Saunders, and you will find it.
Katherine
And if you want to try and spell Yamaneika, good luck.
Chelsea Handler
Y A M A N E I K A. Thank you.
Yamanika Saunders
Yes. So I thought you'd be a perfect person for this question.
Chelsea Handler
Okay.
Yamanika Saunders
Summer says, shout out to T.S.
Chelsea Handler
By the way, I love T.S. madison.
Yamanika Saunders
I mean, yes, the best.
Katherine
And also shout out to Yamaha, which is how I pronounced your first name for three months.
Chelsea Handler
I can't stand Yama.
Yamanika Saunders
Well, the subject line is, my ex is a woman. Now am I the asshole for blocking. Dear Chelsea, Last week I looked at my blocked profiles and noticed that my ex was no longer on there. I figured they had gotten off of social media. I hadn't talked to them in almost a decade. This morning I saw someone sent me a message request. It was my ex, but I guess they're a trans woman now based on the name change and profile photos. Sorry to message you out of the blue, but I woke up today with the memory that today might be your birthday. If it is, then I hope you have a great day. Btw, it's not my birthday. I don't have fond memories of this ex. I lost my virginity to this person and not by consent. It was my first serious relationship. We went to high school together and dated in my first year of college. Two years after we broke up, we connected again and I met their wife and two daughters. I liked his wife and daughters, but I got a reminder of why I did not talk to them her and blocked them After a couple of interactions for the next decade. Am I the asshole for wanting to keep blocking their profiles?
Chelsea Handler
Summer, I mean, they changed genders, not personality. I mean, once a dick. A dick.
Katherine
Yeah, yeah.
Chelsea Handler
And without a dick, I don't understand.
Katherine
If you lost your virginity to them without your consent and that, that's. And then you dated the person, that's a trauma.
Chelsea Handler
Sometimes that's a trauma response to essay. You become victimized. And it's a weird. So I feel bad for that and I understand the trauma. What I'm telling you is I think this person may think that they're transphobic because they're doing this. Because this has nothing to do with transphobic.
Katherine
No, it has nothing to do with it.
Chelsea Handler
That person is an asshole. That's a person nality. Right? That's a spirit thing. You can't transition your spirit. You understand? You was born with a shitty spirit. You gonna keep a shitty spirit until you talk to somebody about your shitty spirit. So keep the person blocked.
Yamanika Saunders
Yeah, I agree. They don't have energy.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. No. What?
Caller
Yeah, agreed, agreed.
Yamanika Saunders
And then also maybe like if you're not already in therapy, like check some of that out just so you can release some anger and work through some of the stuff that happened. Cause that's serious stuff. Okay, well, let's take a quick break and we'll have a quickie to wrap up.
Katherine
Okay. We'll be right back with Yamanika Saunders. I want to talk about something deeply personal. My feet. Are you excited yet? I've been wearing ultra running shoes lately, and honestly, life changing. They're now my go to for everything from runs to hikes to dog walks to airport sprints, you name it. They've got extra room up front so your toes can actually spread out and move the way that they're supposed to, which is way better than most running shoes that cram my toes together. Plus, the lower heel drop means your stride feels more natural. It's like my body finally went, oh, this is how we're supposed to move. They are crazy comfortable. And yes, they help me chase that runner's high. You know, mama loves her dopamine and feeling. Feeling strong and actually wanting to work out. So if you're getting into running, getting back into it, or just want healthier feet so you can get on a feed finder. Altra is where it's at. Find them@altarrunning.com and use code Chelsea for 10% off your order. That's a L, T R-A running dot com. Stay out there, Let me Switch gears.
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Katherine
In other words, looking older.
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Katherine
All right, listen up, people. It's Chelsea Handler and we need to talk about something really important. And they're called Orgasm. If you're not making them a priority, PinkCherry.com is here to fix that. Orgasms boost your mood, lower stress, and help you sleep. And let's be honest, we could all use a little release these days. From the iconic magic wand to we vibes, couples, toys to the game changing Womanizer, pinkcherry.com has everything you need. Solo or with someone. Feeling good is the goal. So go to pinkcherry.com and save up to 80% off site wide. You deserve it if you know you owe. Okay, the bad guys are back. And they've brought back up. I'm talking about Dreamworks Animation's the bad guys 2. And it is going to be the baddest comedy of the summer. I mean, how could it not? The all star cast is back for round two. Sam Rockwell, Marc Maron, Craig Robinson, Anthony Ramos and Awkwafina make up the world's most lovable crew. And of criminals who are trying and hilariously failing to stay on the straight and narrow. And that's when a new crew shows up. The Bad girls, played by favorites like Danielle Brooks and Natasha Lyonne. And they are hilarious. They pull the bad guys into a globe trotting heist that's bigger and badder than anything they've ever faced. I mean, with so much action and comedy, plus this ridiculously talented cast, the Bad Guys 2 is the kind of movie that you just have to see in theaters. Get Tickets now for DreamWorks Animation's the Bad Guys 2, in theaters this Friday, August 1st. Rated PG. And we're back with Yamanika Saunders. Do you wanna. When was the last time you had sex, by the way?
Chelsea Handler
I wish you would ask me that.
Katherine
I did. I just did.
Chelsea Handler
You sent me a box. Chelsea sent me not even a box. You know what a box is? Where you order a Christmas tree right from Amazon and they send you a large box. They can't even break the shit up. It's a long. She sent me that size box of vibrators, dildos, and machines that can lick your vagina without your assistance. And I. And one of them. One was in a baggie. Don't even. Not even like a bag. Like. I'm talking about a glass. Like one of them yellow and blue makes green, you know, all that shit. She sent me that. And it was greasy. Then she sent me the wheel. Cause I wanted to use the one with the licking thing. Cause I'd never had it before. She sent me the one that she. She didn't even wipe it down.
Katherine
Wipe it down.
Chelsea Handler
The lube was so stuck on there, it melted into the thing. I was. It was. You ever seen a mechanic when he got from underneath the hood of a car and all it. Like the. The transmission fluid dropped down on his face and he had to open it. He looked like an ink well? It was like that. I could not believe it. What you do to your vagina, Chelsea, is insane. But I do currently have three of them in rotation. And the wand.
Katherine
We saw them last night at home.
Chelsea Handler
And I have some out in the front room. I can't get rid of them.
Katherine
None of the vibrators I sent you had been used by me. I get lots of swag sent to my house. I get lots of adversaries.
Chelsea Handler
I need to send me a vibrator.
Katherine
I told Carlos, who works with me.
Chelsea Handler
That use their vibrators to get all.
Katherine
The vibrators out of the house and to send them to Yamaneka. Because I know how horny you are. I know how horny you are. I've been listening. I hear you. I see how you interact with men. And you need, like a constant penetration of some sort. So as a gesture of friendship, I said, you know who could really put these fucking vibrators to use? The one that was used, I can't speak to because I've never used any of those. But I did have a friend who Came from Whistler, who stayed at my house. And when she saw my. I have a table. People send all of their. You know, when a celebrity comes out with a vibrator, they send it to me or, you know, whoever. Whatever brands. And my friend came downstairs, and she goes, oh, my God, you're never gonna believe this vibrator. Whatever. It was like. It was like a double whoopsie doodle. Like one in your asshole and one of your. She goes, this is amazing. This is amazing. She goes, you have to try this. And I'm like, well, I'm not.
Chelsea Handler
You sent me that.
Katherine
I'm not gonna. No, All I. Let me finish. I said, I am not gonna use the vibrator that you used to. Are you fucking serious? I looked at my friend, I go, are you think I'm gonna use your. By the way, my friend was here going to medical appointments. She was seeing a bevy of doctors to make sure that she wasn't diagnosed with something very bad. And during that time, I go, at what point during this week of medical appointments did you feel horny? Like, that's what I couldn't understand. So if there was a used one, my conjecture is that that was hers that she left in the spare bedroom. That was wrapped up, probably by my housekeeper, Ma Belle, if she didn't use it also. Cause she also masturbates at the house sometimes, I've been told. And then she sent that to you. And I'm sorry that you got a used vibrator, but I would encourage you to wash it and use it again. Do you have a dishwasher?
Chelsea Handler
She said, let me finish. Like, when you got finished, it was all gonna make sense. It was worse the more I let you finish. You mean to tell me you let me. You sent me through the mail. Can somebody Google if this is a hate crime and I want the post office to get involved, I want you.
Katherine
To not be able to send the post office involved. Those guys are great.
Chelsea Handler
I want you to tell me, Chelsea, that you sent me the vibrator of a bitch who was in your crib who was having current vaginal appointments with a doctor versus some shit was going on with her vagina.
Katherine
No, no, not vaginal. Not vaginal. No, no, no, no. She didn't. Wasn't saying about a vagina. She was talking to doctors about a different condition that had nothing to do with her vagina.
Chelsea Handler
Oh, my God. Any condition. Any. I put that shit in my pussy, bitch.
Katherine
I know. I know you did, and you're gonna do it again. What's the last question, Katherine. Do we have? We do. We do.
Yamanika Saunders
Our last question comes from one of our rare straight male listeners. Dear Chelsea, I recently got an invitation to my ex girlfriend's wedding. We dated for about a year and then had an amicable breakup up. We remain friends after we split up, but I feel at odds with going to the wedding because about six months into her relationship with her now fiance, we hooked up a few times. And I don't know if she ever told him that. They've been together for over three years now and he seems great. So I want to be supportive of her, but part of me feels guilty about being there. Should I go or just blow it off? Thanks, Zach.
Katherine
That sounds like a straight man's question. Sure is.
Sponsor Voice
Wow.
Katherine
We don't get a lot of straight men calling into this podcast. First of all, I really appreciate that because being sensitive to all of those different kind of nuances of what happened. Yeah, I understand feeling weird about that and I probably would skip the wedding.
Chelsea Handler
Here's my thing. If he's going to maintain a friendship with her and he already has a friendship with her and him, it is going to look weird that he's not at the wedding. So, you know, he has to think about that as well. I think he needs to address, like, what is his feelings for her, you know? Cause if you still hooking up, what does she feel about this guy? Why are they hooking up?
Katherine
Well, that was before. They've now been together for like two and a half years. The first six months she said they were. He said that they've been hooking up. But Zack, I would say, yeah, I would skip the wedding because, like, the husband.
Chelsea Handler
Don't skip it.
Katherine
Zach, really?
Chelsea Handler
I'm telling you, if he doesn't know.
Katherine
And if he knew that someone was there, that she had fooled around.
Chelsea Handler
He's friends with them. That's what I'm saying.
Katherine
But the husband doesn't know about them fooling around. Probably.
Chelsea Handler
But if, okay, your ex, y' all friends now. We all friends and we get married and all of a sudden your ex, who's our friend, is not at our wedding. Oh, y' all must have slept together then. That's the first thing I would think. If my partner's ex, who we're all friends with, doesn't show up to our wedding.
Katherine
Okay, so go.
Chelsea Handler
No, because. Yeah, you just. No, you have to go to the wedding. What you need to do is get over that you fucked with her and just move on. Cause clearly, I guess they moving on. They get married and just start a clean slate.
Katherine
Yeah, that's true. That's true. I'm just thinking of the husband. I'm thinking of the husband. Like, how would you feel to know that your girlfriend, your wife, is someone she was cheating on you with, is at the wedding?
Chelsea Handler
And, you know, I understand that, Chelsea. What I'm saying is, I don't know how if he's friends with them now that. Cause it's all about what the husband's gonna think. Is he ever gonna tell him that they did that?
Katherine
He's not gonn.
Chelsea Handler
So why would you say.
Katherine
Well, you raise a better point, I guess. I guess you could. So, Zach, great. I mean, one piece of advice and then a different piece of advice. So problem, problem solved. Problem has been solved.
Chelsea Handler
I love you, Chelsea. I really do. I wish I didn't. You're so many ways. You're problematic, but you know, I love you. I just really do.
Katherine
I love you, too. Okay, that's us for today. Follow Yamaneika on Instagram. You guys, please give her love on Instagram so that they stop fucking.
Chelsea Handler
Yes, YouTub.
Katherine
Please just get on YouTube and go watch that special. It's really important for us.
Chelsea Handler
You can type it in white people and then clear your history.
Yamanika Saunders
Awesome. Well, have fun at the mammogram, you two.
Katherine
Thank you.
Chelsea Handler
I'm gonna get my boobs looked at too. I was like, oh, thank you.
Katherine
Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming, and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on August 30th. And then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th, I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo, performing inside myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason.
Caller
Okay, thank you.
Yamanika Saunders
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching eercelsea podcast. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelseahandler.com.
Katherine
Listen up. You know what's better than being a jittery mess after your third coffee? Actually functioning like a normal human being. Beyond Brew by Live Conscious is a six in one mushroom blend that won't make you trip balls, but it will give you mental clarity, focus, and less bloating. Forbes called Beyond Brew a deliciously potent coffee alternative. And 400,000 people can't be wrong. It comes in cacao, caramel, macchiato and vanilla latte because we are not savages. Your mind and body will thank you later. Go to liveconscious.com and use code Chelsea for 15% off. All right, listen up people. It's Chelsea Handler and we need to talk about something really important. And they're called orgasms. If you're not making them a priority, PinkCherry.com is here to fix it that orgasms boost your mood, lower stress and help you sleep. And let's be honest, we could all use a little release these days. From the iconic magic wand to we vibes, couples toys to the game changing Womanizer, pinkcherry.com has everything you need. Solo or with someone, feeling good is the goal. So go to pinkcherry.com and save up to 80% off site wide. You deserve it. It if you know you owe Sonesta Travel Pass is the most rewarding way to travel. Sign up@sonesta.com for instant savings, bonus points and perks like early check in, late check out, room upgrades and free stays. Choose from 1100 hotels across 13 brands and unlock the best rates when you book with Sonesta Travel Pass. Here today, Rome tomorrow. Join now@sonesta.com Terms and conditions apply. Ready for some fun? Because DreamWorks animations the Bad Guys 2 is coming to theaters. The stakes are higher and the action is wilder and the animation next level. The artists at DreamWorks crafted something super cool and unique with this movie. This time the Bad Guys are trying and failing to go good. But they are hijacked into helping a new crew of criminals, the Bad Girls pull off the biggest heist in history. Get Tickets now for DreamWorks Animation the Bad Guys 2. In theaters this Friday, August 1st. Rated PG.
Chelsea Handler
This is an iHeart podcast.
In this dynamic episode of Dear Chelsea, hosted by Chelsea Handler and co-hosted by Katherine Law, comedian and radio personality Yamaneika Saunders joins the conversation. The episode navigates through a blend of personal anecdotes, social commentary, and listener advice, all delivered with Chelsea's trademark humor and candor.
The episode begins with light-hearted banter among the hosts as they discuss their recent social outings. Yamaneika Saunders shares her experiences from a dinner at the Apollo with Chelsea and mutual friends, highlighting some awkward and humorous moments.
Notable Quote:
Yamaneika Saunders (03:01): "Back to Ben Bruno. He calls, he texts me every day."
Katherine discusses her newfound hobby of completing puzzles, adding a humorous touch to the conversation. Chelsea and Yamaneika engage in playful teasing about personal habits and recent activities, reflecting their chemistry and camaraderie.
Notable Quote:
Katherine (04:02): "Yesterday, I finished a fucking puzzle. I did an actual puzzle."
The dialogue takes a more serious turn as Yamaneika Saunders shares her perspectives on systemic racism, classism, and the dynamics between white women and women of color. She articulates her frustration with societal structures and the responsibilities of different groups in fostering change.
Notable Quote:
Yamaneika Saunders (24:21): "And what I have done for this country versus what white women have done for this country."
The hosts address listener questions, providing advice on various personal and interpersonal issues.
Caller Alicia discusses her habitual use of cannabis, particularly how it affects her daily life and relationship with her husband. She expresses concerns about the health implications and the guilt associated with hiding her usage.
Advice Given: Katherine suggests setting new boundaries, such as restricting cannabis use to after 6 PM, and emphasizes the importance of being present for her son.
Notable Quote:
Katherine (37:11): "You can always reward yourself in the evening. You don't have to deprive yourself."
Caller Allie seeks guidance on managing her relationship with her elder sister, who has made poor decisions leading to familial strain. Allie struggles with setting boundaries to protect herself and her children while wanting to support her sister.
Advice Given: Yamaneika emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries and not allowing oneself to be taken advantage of, while Katherine encourages maintaining empathy and compassion.
Notable Quote:
Yamaneika Saunders (48:12): "Sometimes showing up with extra love and doubling down on love and kindness helps people get out of ruts too."
Caller Zach, a straight male listener, grapples with whether to attend his ex-girlfriend's wedding, given their past relationship and recent interactions.
Advice Given: Katherine advises Zach to consider the feelings of all parties involved, including the new husband, and suggests that he might feel out of place not attending. Chelsea humorously encourages him to move past the awkwardness and attend.
Notable Quote:
Chelsea Handler (62:12): "You have to go to the wedding. What you need to do is get over that you [explicit language] with her and just move on."
Throughout the episode, Chelsea and Yamaneika engage in risqué humor and unfiltered exchanges, often pushing the boundaries of conventional podcast decorum. This includes candid discussions about sexual experiences, personal insecurities, and sharp critiques of societal norms.
Notable Quote:
Yamaneika Saunders (54:39): "I have a table. People send all of their... you know, when a celebrity comes out with a vibrator, they send it to me or, you know, whoever."
The episode wraps up with final thoughts and encouragement for listeners to engage with the show via email and social media. The hosts reiterate the importance of self-love, setting boundaries, and fostering healthy relationships.
Notable Quote:
Katherine (50:14): "And healthy boundaries are the best because you're not only creating them, you're demonstrating them for other people."
"Crackers with Yamaneika Saunders" is a compelling episode that blends humor, candid discussions on serious social issues, and practical advice for listeners navigating personal challenges. The interplay between Chelsea, Katherine, and Yamaneika offers a frank and often provocative exploration of contemporary societal dynamics, all while maintaining an engaging and entertaining atmosphere.
Note: This summary aims to capture the essence of the episode while appropriately sanitizing explicit language and offensive remarks to adhere to community standards and policies.