Disagreeing with Isla Fisher

Summary

Dear Chelsea – “Disagreeing with Isla Fisher”

Podcast: Dear Chelsea (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Chelsea Handler
Co-host: Catherine Law
Guest: Isla Fisher
Date: November 13, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Dear Chelsea" features comedian and author Chelsea Handler alongside co-host Catherine Law, with special guest Isla Fisher (known from "Wedding Crashers," "Arrested Development," and the "Now You See Me" franchise). The conversation weaves together comedic banter about personal lives, parenting, family dysfunction, friendship, and the art of navigating disagreements. As always, listeners call in for advice, sparking candid and sometimes hilarious discussions on how to deal with tricky relationships—ranging from difficult siblings and in-law parenting differences to the ever-challenging territory of social media.

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1. Catching Up: Life Updates & Banter

• Chelsea’s Touring and Busy Schedule

  • Chelsea shares upcoming tour dates for her “High and Mighty” comedy tour, running February through June.
  • Discusses recent adventures: stand-up shows, parties, celebrity run-ins, and prepping for a trip to Antarctica.
  • (05:07–07:57) Humorous take on frequent travels, theme parties, and failing to catch event details — “I'm not dressing up for theme parties. I have to bring so many puffy and ski clothes down to Antarctica. Like, I don't have room for theme night activities.” – Chelsea Handler (06:32)

• Introduction of Isla Fisher

  • Friendly banter about Stella McCartney, missed messages, and birthday parties.
  • Discussion about odd celebrity requests (“Would you do this campaign nude for veganism?”), and gifting/returning Stella McCartney’s clothes:
    • “She asked me last year I was in London. She's like, you know what? Would you do this campaign with me where you're just nude? You're the only one who has the guts to be nude.” – Chelsea Handler (09:25)

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2. Isla Fisher’s Life & Career

• Personal & Career Updates

  • Isla is in a period of transition, balancing motherhood with her career:
    • “Now you're free to work because the kids are growing up… It's like I've got a whole new identity.” – Isla Fisher (11:52)
  • Talks about her new movies:
    • “Spa Weekend” (ensemble female comedy shot in Australia; co-stars Michelle Buteau)
    • “Now You See Me, Now You Don’t” (the latest franchise installment)

• Upbringing & Identity

  • Isla shares her multicultural background: Scottish parents, born in Oman, lived across the Middle East, England, and Australia.
    • “I have, like a super complicated cultural identity… my mom was convinced that our lives were—that there was going to be a nuclear war and that we were safe in Australia.” – Isla Fisher (13:12, 13:36)

• Family Dynamics & Dysfunction

  • Both Chelsea and Isla bond over loving but eccentric and “dysfunctional” families.
    • “I don't know anybody who has a normal, functional upbringing. And that was like, oh, my... Unless, like, some older white men will say that. They'll be like—” – Chelsea Handler (14:45)

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3. Views on Friendship, Parenting, and Womanhood

Friendship

• Both speak candidly about the evolving value of female friendships as they get older, particularly after relationship changes or moving cities.

  • “The women have, like, got me through the last two years. My friendships have been just so important to me.” – Isla Fisher (27:56)

• Openness with new friends is now key:

  • “Like, I just go, okay, this is what I'm great at. This is what I'm not great at… It's almost like dating, but with women.” – Isla Fisher (30:26)

Parenting

• Isla’s Parenting Philosophy:

  • Advocates for giving her kids self-validation instead of seeking external approval.
    • “I have tried very much to reinforce anything they do... So they're not searching for external validation... I just try to create a world in which... they have a beautiful relationship with themselves.” – Isla Fisher (22:34)
  • Highlight: Letting kids resolve conflicts, sometimes by intentionally “not hearing” their calls for help (23:00).

• Chelsea on Parenting Others' Kids:

  • Practical, boundaries-based advice for parenting in extended families and at gatherings.
  • Reflects on her own family’s rule-setting for group vacations, suggesting listeners borrow her written ground rules.

Social Media & Self-Image

• Honest discussion about social media’s effects on self-esteem—for both kids and adults.
  • “The benefits, the capitalistic benefits that are being made from like targeting women and their body images and how the algorithms work… It's terribly cruel.” – Isla Fisher (25:32)
  • Both agree on the need for healthy boundaries and regular breaks from online platforms.

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4. Disagreement, Openness & The Art of Advice

Political & Cultural Polarization

• Isla expresses appreciation for the English tendency to keep politics and religion private, contrasting it with the American climate where “someone's opinions become their identity”:
  • “There seems to be, you know, in London, people are a little more... careful to put civility and connection above... someone's opinions become their identity.” – Isla Fisher (17:19)
• Chelsea admits to the challenge of being around people with conflicting views but acknowledges the value of open conversation and resisting emotional bubbles.
  • “It's nice to not even have that be part of the conversation at all.” – Chelsea Handler (18:05)

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5. Listener Advice Calls & Memorable Moments

Call 1: The Antisocial Mom (39:00)

Situation: Mom struggles with continuing her daughter's friendship with a peer whose parents are “brutally awkward.”
Advice:

• Isla: “Nine's really old to be going on a play date for an extra set of hands... I'd be like, goodbye, goodbye. Have a cocktail and stay home.” (39:08)
• Chelsea: “Those people are probably feeling the same exact way that you're feeling... If it's not a match, don't push it.” (39:30)

Call 2: Sibling Rivalry & Estrangement (Nicole) (42:24)

Situation: Nicole is estranged from her sister, feels overwhelmed by loneliness, and wants relief from the emotional pain.
Advice:

• Chelsea recommends a “loving kindness meditation” and reframing the absence as a gift:
  • “Take whatever break that she's giving as a gift... reframe it in your mind as like, this is a gift that has been given me.” (45:31)
• Isla: Encourages openness to trying again if time and boundaries don’t heal the pain, but also notes it's okay to “cut the cord and then name your baby after her.” (50:13, 52:51)
• Chelsea: Suggests an “energetic cord-cutting ceremony” as a healing step (49:32).

Call 3: Wild Family Gatherings (Kelly) (53:00)

Situation: Kelly is troubled by a sister-in-law’s lack of parenting at family gatherings, resulting in chaos.
Advice:

• Collective rules for all families/kids should be set ahead, rather than singling out problem parents.
  • “If everyone feels that way...you just make sure there's a list of things...Here are the list of behaviors that we're not willing to put up with.” – Chelsea Handler (57:37)
• Isla: Emphasizes the importance of sharing standards without shaming, and notes her own family’s relaxed, “village” approach to co-parenting (61:15).

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6. Discussion of Isla Fisher’s New Films and Coming Full Circle

• Isla discusses her movie “Now You See Me, Now You Don’t” and the joy of reuniting with the cast (“like camp”) and updating roles, as well as a cameo in “J. Kelly.”
• The episode wraps with mutual admiration, gratitude, and a plug for Chelsea’s tour dates.

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Notable Quotes

• “As we know, the best about having opinions is they're flexible and open to new information. And so it's important to keep conversations going and not just get off on your own little tangent and think that you're right.” – Isla Fisher (18:22)
• “If you're not fixed in life ever. Just when you think you've got it now, you get fucking hit in the face.” – Chelsea Handler (15:24)
• “It's kind of fun to dissect something and overanalyze the situation and get everyone's perspectives... Instead of having like a flat reflection, which is what a lot of men do.” – Chelsea Handler (28:49)
• “Be flattered by the fact that she's engaging in sibling rivalry... She’s probably looking at you and like, 'oh, wow, you’re free.'” – Isla Fisher (48:25)

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• Chelsea’s tour and travel banter: 03:56–08:01
• Introducing Isla Fisher: 08:02–11:08
• Isla’s upbringing & family dysfunction: 13:10–15:08
• Discussion about social bubbles & disagreement: 17:12–18:51
• Memorable Wimbledon stories & canapés debate: 19:00–21:17
• Parenting philosophies: 22:25–24:31
• Social media anxieties: 25:32–26:34
• Female friendships & adulthood: 27:56–31:06
• Isla discusses her acting work: 31:28–32:53
• Advice call – Antisocial Mom: 39:00–40:24
• Advice call – Sibling rivalry/Nicole: 42:16–52:05
• Advice call – Family gatherings/Kelly: 53:00–61:12
• Farewell & film plugs: 66:24–67:08

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Overall Tone & Style

The episode strikes a balance between heartfelt wisdom and irreverent humor. Chelsea’s direct, sometimes brash, tone is matched by Isla’s quick wit and thoughtful reflections. Both are open about the messiness of life, family, and relationships—always landing back on the importance of kindness, self-care, boundaries, and not taking oneself too seriously.

For fans and newcomers alike, this episode delivers laughs, relatability, solid advice, and a real sense of camaraderie among strong, insightful women.

Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting debuting my new material in February of next year, so I'm coming to Washington, D.C. norfolk, Virginia Madison, Wisconsin Milwaukee, Wisconsin Detroit, Michigan Cleveland, Columbus and Cincinnati, Ohio Denver, Colorado Portland, Maine Providence, Rhode Island Springfield, Massachusetts Chicago of course Indianapolis, Indiana Louisville, Kentucky Albuquerque Mesa, Arizona Kansas City, Missouri St. Louis, Missouri Minneapolis, Minnesota Nashville, Tennessee Charlotte, North Carolina Durham, North Carolina Saratoga, California Monterey, California Modesto, California and Port Chester, New York Boston, Massachusetts Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in. So go get your tickets now if you want good seats and you want to come see me perform. I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Hi Katherine.

Hello Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Hello.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Hello.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm on a real bender this week.

I'm just hearing about all your travels. You're going everywhere. You're going to Antarctica. I can't keep track of you.

I've had a busy. I haven't even gotten that far to Antarctica. Hopefully a suitcase shows up to show me what I'm bringing because I have been out. I did a show at the Improv. Then I went into a party for Marc Maron's podcast ending.

Oh, that's so fun.

And then I was with Fortune and Otsuko, and then Zoe, my one of my poopsies. And then last night, I went to go see my friend open for the Queen of the Stone Ages, and then we went out. So I am on a bender. I love it.

And I'm sure you haven't slept. You're, like, here with me and just.

Well, no, I'm slept. I sleep, I sleep, I sleep. But, you know, I'm never fully rested because I just like to, well, complain.

You love to burn the candle at both ends.

Yes. But I am leaving for Antarctica on Saturday morning, and there's a lots of interesting activities. They think there's going to be theme nights there, and they think that I'm going to have read that part of the invitation, but that is going to be something that I miss. I went to Maria Shriver's 70th birthday this weekend, and it was a 70s theme party, and I had just come from the Texas Book Fair, so it was perfect because I was like, oh, I didn't see that part of the. Everyone's like, where's your outfit? I'm like, I didn't know this was a theme party.

Also, like, you don't really dress up, so even if you didn't know, that's exactly right.

I'm not dressing up for theme parties. I have to bring so many puffy and ski clothes down to Antarctica. Like, I don't have room for theme night activities. No.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

So I do. Me and everyone else does that.

Exactly. And you'll probably be in bed with a book by then anyway, so it's fine.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Have you been to Antarctica before?

No, I have not.

Which is a weird question to ask.

I don't think people go on multiple trips to Antarctica, but unless you're like. And you know, unless you're an explorer, which, you know, I'm a life explorer, but no. This will be my first trip to Antarctica. We have a special guest, a surprise special guest coming, and I'm going with my friend, but some guy I met in Vegas has decided to join us, so he got a ticket and is coming, too. So there could be so many different developments happening There could be penetration in Antarctica.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Oh.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh. Oh, my gosh. Well, then you're going to study, like, LSD and psychedelics and then also the effects of penetration in Antarctica, and we're.

Going to be studying LSD and the effects of psychedelics a lot alongside penguins. So who knows what could happen? There's polar plunging. There's expeditions every day. My friend's like, are we gonna go skiing? I'm like, I don't think there's a ski rental shop in Antarctica. But I mean. And I wasn't like, flat.

I think of it as very flat.

They have major crevasses and mountains and I think so I don't think it's flat, but who knows what I know. I mean, it's usually way off base.

You didn't read that itinerary?

No.

Well, you know what? I'm so excited for our guest day. She is so fun.

Yes.

[Isla Fisher]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

One of my. One of my dear friends. I love her. So you know. Our next guest today from Wedding Crashers, Arrested Development, and the now you see me, now you don't franchise. Please welcome Isla Fisher. Okay, we're here with Isla.

[Isla Fisher]

Are we gonna shut the door maybe?

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Relax. I can't.

[Isla Fisher]

I can't shut the door.

[Chelsea Handler]

I put my face. It's like pre ejaculation. It's pre ejaculation. I got so excited, I almost came.

[Isla Fisher]

I'm erectile dysfunction. I'm like, what am I gonna say in this? I'm the exact opposite.

[Chelsea Handler]

Don't worry, we're gonna guide you. We're gonna guide you.

[Isla Fisher]

Thanks.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're in safe hands. How long are you here for?

[Isla Fisher]

Till tomorrow.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then you go back to London.

[Isla Fisher]

Back to London? You have been there a lot and not texted me, I see. On your social media, and I'm like.

[Chelsea Handler]

I text you every time I'm there.

[Isla Fisher]

People tell me, like, oh, I hung out with her. I saw Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler]

I said, come to Glastonbury. I said, yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

You look like you had fun.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I did.

[Isla Fisher]

It was Stella's birthday the other day.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, was it?

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I didn't know.

[Isla Fisher]

I didn't know either.

[Chelsea Handler]

She FaceTimed me. She tried to convince me to come to New York two weeks ago for her Climate Award, and she almost got me. I'm so easy to, like, rope into shit.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I realized. I was like. I was sitting there with her. I'm Talking to her, FaceTiming, and I'm like. She's like, just come in for one night. Just come for one night. Jane Fonda. Give Me, the award. It'll be the. And I was like, yeah. And then I'm like, no, I'm not coming to New York for a night. I'm like, stop this. This strong arming.

[Isla Fisher]

Get yourself to Paris for my fashion job.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, wait a moment. Let's start this conversation outing Stella McCartney. We love Stella, but Stella is always, always asking for someone to go somewhere to do something. And then I say to her, I'm like, okay. She asked me last year I was in London. She's like, you know what? Would you do this campaign with me where you're just nude? You're the only one who has the guts to be nude.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Nope.

[Chelsea Handler]

For her veganism or something about saving. I always lie and tell her I'm not eating meat. And then I do. Cause it's easier, right?

[Isla Fisher]

It's easier than having the conversation feather around her. Forget it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

She doesn't like any of that stuff. But to her credit, she does incredible work. She makes all of her clothes without animals. And she's very moral about the climate and about.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah. And her activism. She says what she means. She does. She stands by it. She's not one of those kind of hypocritical activists.

[Chelsea Handler]

But as soon as I told her that she had to pay for my hair, makeup, and flight and hotel, I didn't hear from her for, like, three weeks. I didn't hear another word about it. So that's Stella in a nutsh.

[Isla Fisher]

I didn't say that, everybody. That wasn't me.

[Chelsea Handler]

I didn't say that.

[Isla Fisher]

Stella, I still have the handbag you sent me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Chelsea Handler. This is Chelsea Handler saying it. But at Glastonbury this year. Cause I texted you. Cause now you're living in London. And I was like, come to Glastonbury. So we all stayed at this hotel that's like 45 minutes away, okay? And we get there, and Stella had sent all of us clothes. And so my closet is filled with all of Stella's clothes, and I'm so excited. None of the sizes fit me. Nothing she sent me fit. So I left the hotel and I left all the clothes in the. And then the woman that runs the hotel texted me and said, hey, you left all these Stella McCartney clothes in the closet. I said, give them to the staff. I told her that they don't fit me. I told her, look at Isla's. Like, ah.

[Isla Fisher]

But I would make sure to be like, you finished wearing them. Send them back. I would never have got to get them.

[Chelsea Handler]

Wait, wait, wait. Then a Month later, my assistant texts me and says, stella's assistant is asking where the clothes are. So I told you. I'm like, I left them in the hotel so that somebody could make some good use out of them, because it wasn't gonna be me. Listen, I've told Stella, if this stays.

[Isla Fisher]

In the podcast, you're done. Goodbye. Goodbye.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're innocent. You're innocent. You're not saying anything. It's just me, so you're safe. Isla. Isla's here to promote her new movie now. You see me die.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

You don't.

[Chelsea Handler]

You missed one of these because there's.

This is the third one.

[Isla Fisher]

I was pregnant with Monty.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're pregnant? You've been pregnant a lot in your life. Trying to be honest.

[Isla Fisher]

Some people love to work. I just, like, have another baby and no one will notice.

[Chelsea Handler]

But now you're free to work because the kids are growing up.

[Isla Fisher]

The kids are growing up, and, you know, and I'm at a new chapter in my life, and I'm just trying to kind of reestablish who I am as somebody who enjoys performing and writing. And it's, like, been a whole thing. It's like I've got a whole new identity.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. I love it. And you filmed that fun movie with Leslie, with Michelle Batto, so you should.

[Isla Fisher]

Have been in that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know I should have been in it. Nobody ever asks me to do movies. I never get asked.

[Isla Fisher]

You would have been so. We had so much fun. We shot it in Australia. It's called Spa Weekend. It's John Lucas and Scott Moore, who did Bad Moms and the Hangover. And it's just, like, you know, real, like, really funny ladies having a really fun time.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

Although there was a tornado or a cyclone, rather, in Australia.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Australia.

[Isla Fisher]

While we were there, and we were on lockdown in this hotel with, like, Paul Rudd, who was. Else was there, like, Jack Black. The cast of, like, Anaconda. The cast of, like, there was basically four movies. So imagine it's like, what's that movie with Ruben where they're all on a. On an island? Anyway, imagine a bunch of sort of actors, precious actors in a hotel shut down for, like, six days.

[Chelsea Handler]

Actors from all different movies. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

It went from charades to. Let's just say there wasn't. To kill her in the bar to keep everybody happy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is it fun for you to shoot in Australia? Because you grew up in Australia, but you're. But you didn't move to Australia until, what, you were six?

[Isla Fisher]

Six. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you're Scottish.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah. I have, like a super complicated cultural identity. Cause, like, my parents are Scottish, but I was born in Oman and I was raised between Iran and Sarawak and Brunei. And then we kind of moved back to Cambridge, England, randomly. And then we immigrated to Australia, to Western Australia, which is the most isolated city in the world for reasons my parents have quite disclosed.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why did you guys move so much? Was your dad in the military around that time?

[Isla Fisher]

There was some sort of talk of a cold war. I mean, it sounds so paranoid, but my mom. My mom was convinced that our lives were. That there was going to be a nuclear war and that we were safe in Australia.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah, but.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but so why were you born in Oman? Who was. Who was from.

[Isla Fisher]

My dad worked for the un and so he. When you. Yeah, so he basically was in banking, but he would travel to, you know, we were always in, you know, Papua New Guinea. We were always kind of growing up and in different, I guess, cultures until we got. Till I started like primary school, maybe like year two. And then we were sort of solid until I obviously then traveled the world and became a clown.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's right. You went to clown school too. First of all, how does it work with all of your family reunions when you get all together? Can you understand a word anybody fucking says?

[Isla Fisher]

No, it's definitely. And my mother's on her third husband. It's definitely like. Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Isla Fisher]

Yes. And so it's definitely like a very much a dysfunctional but deeply loving, very, you know, multi generational and quite eccentric group. But there's a lot of love. There's a lot of love. And we all put a lot of effort into seeing each other.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's a lot of love and dysfunction. Yeah, there really is.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, that's what it is. It's dysfunction. Because otherwise, if it's not dysfunctional. I mean, I don't know anybody who has a normal, functional upbringing. And that was like, oh, my. Really? Unless, like, some older white men will say that. They'll be like.

[Isla Fisher]

But they're just lying.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are they or do they not notice how the dysfunction. Because I wonder if some people don't. The dysfunction, you know, like, women are much more in tune with dysfunction, I think.

[Isla Fisher]

Well, I do think a lot of people do notice it, but they choose to ignore it. And it makes them feel better to feel wholesome about their family relations rather than, you know, to sort of accept the fact that we might all be, you know, broken in different ways and that. That's okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And it's okay. To remain broken. Like, you're not fixed in life ever.

[Isla Fisher]

Ever.

[Chelsea Handler]

Just when you think you've got it now, you get fucking hit in the face.

[Isla Fisher]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, that I speak from when I say that. I mean, I feel like the last book I wrote was so about female empowerment and just really how to get to know yourself, how to love yourself. And then I fucking am literally in the middle of, like, a nervous breakdown because of this stupid fucking house I'm building. Has cost me so much. Drama, trauma, an emotional toll. Yes. And it's like, wow, I really thought I had fucking shit figured out.

[Isla Fisher]

Wait, but what could possibly cause you that much drama with a house?

[Chelsea Handler]

A house I bought from RFK Junior.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Oh.

[Isla Fisher]

Oh, so it was cursed? It's cursed, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, it's definitely cursed.

[Isla Fisher]

It's been a curse. And were there Tylenol just scrubbed out all over.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, there will be by the time I get done with it. There's gonna. Yeah, I took Tylenol throughout all of my pregnancies. I wanna say on the record. So what do you feel like? Do you feel Australian? You must, right?

[Isla Fisher]

I think my sensibility is kind of Australian. Like, I'm gregarious. I'm kind of, like, laid back in some regards. But then I do have that kind of. You know, my mom was very. She was one of the first women that went to Cambridge. She's very educated. My father's very. I come from a kind of like a sort of. In a way, a bit of an academic background. So the Australian thing is a little more like. I feel like I identify more with, like, the surfing and the outdoor lifestyle and honestly, just, like, Australians are just really friendly. Yeah, they are friendly. They are. They're really friendly.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you think people are friendly in London?

[Isla Fisher]

I definitely think that it's a different kind of friendly.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, you went from LA to London. Yeah. So la friendly, Definitely friendly.

[Isla Fisher]

I'm still. My LA mates, I love them. I pop into town for a few days and I get bombarded with, like, love texts.

[Chelsea Handler]

More fun to visit than to live, I think.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah, maybe you're right. Particularly post the apocalypse.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, right now you must be grateful that you're not living in the States during this kind of political conflict.

[Isla Fisher]

Definitely.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

It's definitely. It feels like. Oh, it just feels like everybody's got a very loud opinion and they want to discuss it. And there seems to be, you know, in London, people are a little more, you know, people don't reveal their political beliefs, necessarily, their religious beliefs. They're Very careful to put civility and connection above. Like, whereas here in la, sometimes it feels a little like someone's opinions become their identity and therefore if you don't share their values or their opinions in their mind, that you therefore don't like them. There's not a sort of separation between church and state, so to speak. And I find that is like, now I just don't want to sort of. I just don't want to fight or have a different opinion. I just want to connect with people. I don't know whether it's like with everything I've been through for the last two years, but I just want to like, feel like we're all just together in this, which we are.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, we are all together in this. I agree with you.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I'm even guilty of it myself listening to you talk about it because, you know, I can, like, you know, if I hear somebody is, you know, a Trump supporter or something, I'm like, no, no, no, I don't want anything to do with that. I can't. I need peace. Like, I need my own peace. But at the same time, you know, it's nice to not even have that be part of the conversation at all. Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

And you don't really want to isolate yourself and find yourself in a bubble where you're only with like minded people. Only because then you create an emotional bias where you only filter everything you hear or read or see through the lens of this is already my decided opinion. And as we know, the best about having opinions is they're flexible and open to new information. And so it's important to keep conversations going and not just get off on your own little tangent and think that you're right. But you are always right. That's what I love about you. You've never been wrong in any way.

[Chelsea Handler]

I appreciate that. I appreciate you acknowledging that.

[Isla Fisher]

I've known it my whole life. Every time you say something, I'm like, yep, that's it. She's right.

[Chelsea Handler]

The last time I saw you, I bumped into you at Wimbledon.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And you were having a great time.

[Isla Fisher]

I had the best time ever.

[Chelsea Handler]

Isn't it so much fun, tennis?

[Isla Fisher]

I know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I fucking love going to tennis. I. I love day drinking and I love socializing and I love that tennis is so civilized. You know what? It's not like a rugby match or. Well, the golf that happened. The Ryder cup was so embarrassing on America's behalf because people were screaming, yelling, that's golf. Oh, gosh, I don't watch golf.

[Isla Fisher]

No, but Also, there's something about. I think it's a collective silence of tennis. Like you're watching a game where there are thousands of people watching and they're not saying they're not. You can't even hear them breathe when the serve happens because they don't want to put off the player. And that is just like. As someone who's done like a, you know, ton of theater, when I was younger and just. Just like been on a stage and had to, like, cry in a scene and had like, crew talking, someone opening chips, it's like an amazing thing when you've captured an audience and you just all are so respectful that you're gonna be just so quiet. The quiet is just amazing, like, communal energy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Everyone's focused in the same place, especially.

At Wimbledon, because there's a level of decorum that supersedes like, any of the other Grand Slams. Because Wimbledon is, like, a little stuffy, but I love that kind of stuff. It's not stuffy in a negative way.

[Isla Fisher]

No, it's fun. It's like pompous and ritual. And I also, although a ginger lady, a middle aged ginger lady apparently fainted this Wimbledon. She was in the overhead light of the sun and there wasn't enough, I guess, water brought to her. And of course, everyone's texting me, like, is it you? Were you taken out? Oh, I'm like, no, I was in the vip, Bitch, relax. I had a shade, a canopy, a bowl of moai.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah, that's right. I saw you get after those canapes. She was like, is that a canape? And then went after. She was in a different suite, came to see us in our suite. Or maybe we were in the same.

[Isla Fisher]

Suite but far apart.

[Chelsea Handler]

I loved it. I loved it. How was your time in London?

[Isla Fisher]

Can I just go back to canapes? Love a canape. You know what I'm not into, though? A cheese and pineapple skewer. I don't like pineapple and triple layer dips. There's some things that just should never be food combos that should never be enjoyed together. And what Wimbledon does well is they don't mix flavors. It's like a strawberry and cream or it's like a cucumber and bread. It's like, keep it simple, people.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I don't like pineapple with anything. Like, I don't want pineapple mixed. Mixed with hot food.

[Isla Fisher]

No, you don't like a pizza?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no, no, no. You just cheese and pineapple.

[Isla Fisher]

No, it's very different cheese. Pineapple.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, that's Cheese and pineapple, too.

[Isla Fisher]

Isla. No, Skewer is a dry, cold, unpleasant. It's visually unattractive. It's. It's very different to a melty, gooey, you know? I don't know. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're pausing right now.

I just want to say.

[Isla Fisher]

I just want to say. She's always right.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's right.

What are you cooking? Do you cook?

[Isla Fisher]

Yes, I cook.

[Chelsea Handler]

You do?

[Isla Fisher]

I love to cook.

[Chelsea Handler]

What do you cook?

[Isla Fisher]

Well, at the moment, I'm big into what do I do at. I mean, I'm a mom of three, so it's kind of like I get up and kind of, like, sort my week out. So I'll freeze a couple of tomato sauces, I'll freeze a chicken stock. I'll do things in advance, and then I'm just like, super simple. Like pasta's meat, anything. I can cook anything. Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

I want to talk to you about being a mother. Like, what kind of mother do you like? What do you think your superpower as a mom is?

[Isla Fisher]

I definitely do not.

[Chelsea Handler]

As a mom, I should say I.

[Isla Fisher]

Definitely do not have a superpower.

[Chelsea Handler]

You do. All women are super. Have superpowers. And do your kids call you Mum or Mom?

[Isla Fisher]

Momsy or Mum.

[Chelsea Handler]

Mum, yeah. Or Mom? Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

No, Mummy, actually. Mummy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah, Mummy. Like British, right?

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

I think they. Is that British? I think that's more Australian.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Is it?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I think it's British and Australian.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because everyone in America, it's Mom.

Yeah.

But what do you think?

[Isla Fisher]

What do you think I'm good at as a mother?

[Chelsea Handler]

What do you think your strengths as a mother are?

[Isla Fisher]

I mean, it's really interesting that you ask that, because obviously all I think about, the things that I regret when I go to bed at night that I wish I'd handled differently.

[Sponsor Voice (Annabe)]

I think.

[Isla Fisher]

I think overall my strength is that I have tried very much to reinforce anything they do, to sort of align it with. You must feel really good about how you did this. You must be really proud of you. So they're not searching for external validation they don't need. Mommy likes my picture, therefore my picture is good. No, I'm proud that I drew a picture, therefore my picture is good. I just try to sort of separate and create a world in which that they have a. They listen to the voice of. They have a beautiful relationship with themselves. That's maybe my goal. Not saying it's a superpower. And then my other superpower is maybe, like, I'm really good at, like, switching off, like, pretending that I can't hear anything, like just getting in the bath and like mommy. And I'm like, I'm in the bath. And by the way, it's a great technique because when they finally get to you, they've resolved it, they've sorted out who has the TV remote, they know where the apple juice is. They didn't need me to jump out of the bath, scamper downstairs, find everything and you know what you don't do for your kids, they do for themselves. Baruch hashem.

[Chelsea Handler]

Baruch hashem. So when you were little, did you envision yourself having three children?

[Isla Fisher]

I always wanted kids. I was a nanny when I was 17 for a three week old baby. And I used to babysit my nieces when I was about, you know, 12. And so I always loved kids. I've always loved kids. I just always think like, it sounds awful, but when you get to my age, I feel like I've met so many amazing people. And not to say that everybody's really similar, but you kind of realize it's, you can kind of predict someone's nature almost right away after meeting them, or at least what they're like. But a kid is like, it's like opening up a present, you have no idea what's inside. They're just so original. They think in this like totally unique, magical way. And I just love, I love their naivete and I love their kind of. They just say the truth. They, I find children amazing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

Her face is like, no.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like to hear mothers talk about loving being a mother. I think it's really important because.

[Isla Fisher]

And you love their friends as well. You have this like community of like, particularly when they become teenagers, you don't just have yours, they come home with like four looking at the ground. It's like, it's amazing.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's like, how do you handle social media with your kids?

[Isla Fisher]

I mean it's very difficult. That whole thing is just endless.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean that's something that I like just don't understand how parents can even deal with.

[Isla Fisher]

I mean we all know the statistics. There's nothing I can say that's original on that. And we all know that the benefits, the capitalistic benefits that are being made from like targeting women and their body images and how the algorithms work and how they impact impacts valve self esteem and really what you can do is flag that. But it's that fine line. If you isolate them completely, then socially they're not necessarily in the same conversation as their mates. And so then you're just basically creating A situation where they can't really. I mean they all have these platforms where they arrange things and they meet up, but it's terribly cruel. Like you can see who your best friend is. And I mean I, my personality would have not survived social media as a kid.

[Chelsea Handler]

How do you handle social media as for yourself as an adult in this industry?

[Isla Fisher]

I mean, my feelings do get hurt. Like I'll pop on something and see everybody went somewhere and I wasn't there. Or I do get a little bit of that, or I see somebody, another actor is out there doing something and I'm like, oh my goodness, I haven't even showered yet and it's three o' clock and someone's come out with a best selling book and a Lycra brand and is now like the ambassador for China. I was like, the fuck is that? The fuck am I doing? But I think ultimately you just gotta just try not to tune it out. I think just like at the moment there's just so much noise on that platform. Like whoever has the most explosive opinion, whoever has the most extreme hyperbole or uses the most like, has the like the wackiest opinion, it floats up, hits the top of the algorithm and everyone sees that. So people are motivated to be super loud about things that just like we used to just like be chill over. Now that makes me feel really like anxious. So I'm not on it that much, to be honest.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's good to the taking the breaks from social media are like, you just, your level of happiness is tangible.

[Isla Fisher]

Exponentially.

[Chelsea Handler]

Immediately. Exactly immediately. Like I was with some girls in Canada, I went to Tofino and I was, I was like, I just, I'm so, I was so stressed about my fucking house and all the money out the window and all. I know it sounds stupid, but it doesn't. It's just like I feel like I'm being robbed. Do you know what I mean? Like over and over and over again and that like no one really has any respect for my mental wellbeing. Like the emotional, like, everyone's like, it's just a house, it's just a house. I'm like, it's worse than that. There's a grounding aspect that's missing. Like a. You're, you're, you're groundless. You're without anywhere to, you know, to land.

[Nicole (Caller)]

To land.

[Isla Fisher]

By the way, I really do agree with that. And I was thinking the other day when I had a bit of a rocky day, you know when you get jet lagged and you're awake in the middle of the night and everything feels much worse than it is. And I did think I was trying to sort of ground myself and ask myself, like, where am I happy? Like, come on, Isla, where are you happy? And I realized, like, I did circle back to when I am in my house, I am always happy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, really? At your house in London?

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah. And that's wherever I make a home, but, like, wherever, like, I. My things are and my family is, and I can make a cup of tea and I. I don't know, it's just something about that. So I get that. I'd be really discombobulated too. It's terrible.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So how has been. How has it been living in London? Because you have a group of friends here in la. Of course.

[Isla Fisher]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you have a group of friends in London, too.

[Isla Fisher]

I love my English friends, so it's.

[Chelsea Handler]

So great that you have friends everywhere.

[Isla Fisher]

Well, I think there's something about when you make a big switch in terms of, like, going from being married and not being married. You are, like, naturally. You're just more drawn to people on. It's hard to sit with, like, smug married people when you're single. It's like, I don't want to see you guys like, oh, honey, do you need sunblock on, like. No. So I guess I'm now, like, my crew that I hang out with in London, they're just a little more. They have the same lifestyle that I do. They're single moms. And it's really nice and it's really. It's a different kind. I still love my LA friends, obviously, but they're away and they're my ride or dies are really. But I am enjoying, like, finding, you know, commonality with this new group of women. And they're great. They. The women have, like, got me through the last two years. My friendships have been just so important to me and more. And I keep talking about female friendship with all my friends and every woman I meet. And we're all on the same page.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I think as you get older, the more you realize how kind of useless men become and how valuable women are. You know, gay men are useful, and there are some young men out there that are a little bit more. They've gotten the software update that we talk about. Like, you need a Software update after 50. As a straight white man, you do. You need an update. You don't understand the way things are working. There's a shift happening and if you don't see it, then you're against us. But it's just a coming of age kind of story where you just realize how much more reliable women are, how much more comforting women are, how much more insightful. You know, you take something like, you know, we can dissect something almost ad nauseam, but. But it's kind of fun to dissect something and overanalyze the situation and get everyone's perspectives, you know, like, the way one person looks at something is completely different. And instead of having like a flat reflection, which is what a lot of men do, they kind of just look at something and they're like, well, duh, that's brown. And that's over there. I wouldn't think anything more about it. And you're like, no, there's definitely more to. I mean, I know personally, like, I can overcomplicate things. You know what I mean? Just for the sake of kind of drama or convers. That's what being a woman is. Sometimes it's having overcomplicating things.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

It's.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's kind of. And no one gets women like other women. So I totally. You're not the first person to come on here and say that. A lot of women feel that way. And it's very buoying during difficult times.

[Isla Fisher]

Oh, my gosh. It's so. It really is. I'm so grateful.

[Chelsea Handler]

And the other nice thing is meeting new friends as you get older. Like, it's funny how you can constantly.

[Isla Fisher]

Make new friends at the beginning, go, hey, here's something about me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like.

[Isla Fisher]

Cause sometimes you'll meet a new friend and they remember that you have a new day at work tomorrow, and they send flowers and then they text you that it's one of your kid's birthday and you can just put the kibosh on it straight away and go, you can inundate me with this amazing stuff, but I'm so disorganized and busy that it's likely that I'm gonna drop the ball on your birthday. And if you still want a friendship with me, I'm here. But please don't be disillusioned. Like, I'm so open about what my strengths are in friendship now. I'm just like. I'm just upfront. It's like almost like dating, but with women. Like, I just go, okay, this is what I'm great at. This is what I'm not great at. And like, like, I. I just don't. It's not that same feeling that when I was younger, my friendships, I was always like, everybody remembered that we Were supposed to do this and I got the day wrong and you know all of that stuff.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, right, right. Well, you have three children also. I mean, anyone's expecting that. They're an idiot anyway. You know, I like the idea of I was like, sending flowers the day of a new job. I'm like, who's fucking doing that?

[Isla Fisher]

No, people do.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's amazing.

[Isla Fisher]

Friends do. They're really thoughtful.

[Chelsea Handler]

Turns out there are really thoughtful people out there. So tell me about this movie. Now you see me, now you don't.

[Isla Fisher]

Yes, it's a little magic. We need magic.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, well, you're also. Well, I was gonna say, I mean, you went to clown school or mime school.

[Isla Fisher]

Well, they're not.

[Chelsea Handler]

So that's not magic. But in my mind it is. Yeah, my mind is.

[Isla Fisher]

I can see that. You could draw to a conclusion.

[Chelsea Handler]

They totally different clowns and magicians are over there on that side of the room.

[Isla Fisher]

Well, let me help you out a little. They're very different crafts, but they do perform a similar function like acting. We're playing make believe and there is that suspension of reality. And obviously what we love about magic is this, like, conflict in beliefs. Like, here's something that you know to be real, but then your eyes are deceiving you and you're seeing something different. And I think that conflict does create a kind of appetite to watch our story. And our story's full of great magic. And I play Henley, and the magic is real. In the movie, we had world class magicians that came and taught us everything. Obviously some of it's enhanced, but yeah, we worked really hard on the magic.

[Chelsea Handler]

Which especially in the age of like, AI and CGI and everything cgi, to have these, like, practical effects is really exciting.

[Isla Fisher]

It is really exciting. And honestly, I really enjoy enjoyed this movie just because it's like, the story's good. I don't know whether you guys feel this, but I just feel everything I've seen on streamers and stuff lately. I'm just like, the plot's not quite there. This is like somebody actually wrote and crafted a plot that's genuinely like, if you heard it as a radio play, you'd be gripped as well as it's fun and it's like pretty people doing tricks. We've got new horsemen. These amazing kids. They're so talented.

[Chelsea Handler]

And did you work with some of the same people that you worked with on the first one?

[Isla Fisher]

Yes, it's the same now youw see me cast as Henley's back.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's so sweet, isn't that fun to work with the same people. Like camp.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah. And by the way, we've all kind of become like parodies of ourselves or like more extreme. You know, when people get older and they just get like, become a little more like a, like an exaggerated version of themselves. I feel like Dave is an exaggerated virgin.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like that you become an exaggerated virgin of yourself.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah, I wish. But Dave is definitely like even more Dave and Jesse and Woody's like, so Woody now like, Woody looks like he's playing Woody.

[Chelsea Handler]

Woody is really. I mean, Woody is really Woody.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

How many times you meet that guy, you're just like, wow, you are really yourself. Yeah, I. Yeah. That's so funny. We'll take a break and we'll be right back with Isla Fisher.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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We're back.

[Isla Fisher]

That was A really good.

[Chelsea Handler]

We all just took a bath together. That's what we do on our commercial breaks.

[Isla Fisher]

I braided your hair and then unbraided it.

[Chelsea Handler]

And the kids did not bother us.

Yeah, we take callers. We're giving advice on this podcast.

[Isla Fisher]

Okay. You guys should really listen to me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Good advice.

[Isla Fisher]

I got my shit together.

[Chelsea Handler]

You do have your shit together. You guys have your power together.

Well, our first question. This one's just an email, but comes from antisocial Mom. Dear Chelsea, My daughter is nine and has an adorably close relationship with her bff, who is also a fantastic kid. Her parents, however, being around them is absolutely brutal. They're socially awkward, we have less than nothing in common, and trying to hold a conversation with them is actual torture. The girls often request play dates on the weekend, which is usually fine if it's a drop off situation, but some playdates involve a lot of bopping around and going to the beach, so I feel like I really should be there to help out. They've offered to take the girls solo, but I know the extra hands and eyes would be appreciated. My daughter's friend also deals with angry, so I can't take the girl solo myself, which would be way more fun because she likes a parent to be close. I know this sounds shitty, but you don't understand the gravity of their brutalness. The girls have been friends for four years and believe me, I have tried. So should I just microdis mushrooms and go on the play dates? Should I let them take the girls solo? P.S. i love you, antisocial mom.

[Nicole (Caller)]

I do.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is another reason to not have children to deal with other mothers. I mean, seriously, I don't know. As a mother, what would you. What do you say to that? Isla?

[Isla Fisher]

I think nine's really old to be going on a play date for an extra set of hands. I'm sorry, mom, but, like, you're not changing a diaper unless there's a food allergy. Unless there's a body of water, which, the beach sounds shady, but, like, I'm pretty certain your daughter can advocate for herself that if there's an issue, she'll not want to go on the play date again. I'd be like, goodbye, goodbye. Have a cocktail and stay home.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I would say, listen, those people are probably feeling the same exact way that you're feeling. If the interaction is that awkward that they're gonna be to welcome, they're gonna be, yeah. Welcoming your absence. So, like, if it's not a match, it's not a match. Don't push it. And if they're friends like that friendship is enough. That friendship probably provides enough to that family. They're happy their daughter has a friendship, that she wants to spend time with them and if they're willing to take them to these places, great, then do that. And if she has anxiety and can't go with you, even more of a reason that they should be taking them places.

[Isla Fisher]

And also the daughter that's modeling not having anxiety and having no issue with separation from her parents is a great example on the daughter with an so you really want to continue that because eventually they're headed in the same direction. That other shy girl will come out of her shell and want to play date solo soon.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, and also nine is too old to like why are you yeah, nine.

[Isla Fisher]

Is quite for a girl. I mean if we're talking about a boy, but a nine year old girl, you know.

[Chelsea Handler]

All right, well our first caller is Nicole. She says, Dear Chelsea, I've got big CIS problems that go back to just about the beginning of my lifetime and it has sucked hard. I've only recently, after relearning to self soothe in healthy ways, become aware of just how much the bummer dynamics between my sister and I have fucked shit for me big time. She's about a year older than me and we're in our mid-30s. After a long phase of numbing myself as an adult, I've come to realize my sister's jealous, malicious and greedy energy still plays way too large of a role in my life. Friendships, work, romance, family. And I need big time relief from it asap. How horrible is she? Example she would hit me when we were kids, but more recently she named her daughter Colette. When I told her I was honored she named her kid after me. She laughed in my face and claimed she she didn't. My name is Nicole and it's a family name that goes back generations. Clearly she'd like me to disappear and be forgotten about. She's driven by sibling rivalry, but despite all this, I love her. She's my sister. I've let go of expecting our relationship to improve. Of course I still want that. But I in no way have ever consented to her rudely taking up so much space in my life. What's a girl to do? I've confronted her about it and I've tried going to therapy with her. When I confronted her, she called me crazy. And in therapy she acted manipulatively and without any apparent interest in true healing. So I ended it. Last I saw her and my Beloved only niece and nephew, her gross trump loving husband kicked me out of their house for unapologetically being myself. And she yelled at me nonsense, ego trip style on the porch. This was a couple years ago. Since then, direct contact has included only happy birthday wishes and some cool presents and notes to the kiddos. The amount and frequency with which their has rudely interrupted in the good things I've had going on has been baffling and enraging. I've gotten better at counting my blessings, keeping on, keeping on all that jazz, but the loneliness I feel in all this has been overwhelming. Any help dealing with this nonsense is super appreciated. Muchas gracias for all the good lulz and your lovely work. Nicole.

Hi, Nicole.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Hello.

[Nicole (Caller)]

It's Nicola.

[Isla Fisher]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is our special guest, Isla Fisher.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Howdy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi.

[Isla Fisher]

Nice to meet you.

[Nicole (Caller)]

That's so cool. It's a total honor to speak with all y'.

[Kelly (Caller)]

All.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Thanks for having me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Look how cozy you look with your. Are you drinking a cup of tea?

[Nicole (Caller)]

Coffee. Tea?

[Chelsea Handler]

I thought you were going to say, like, whiskey. I was like, even better.

[Sponsor Voice (Annabe)]

Even better.

[Chelsea Handler]

You look like you're in a very warm and cozy place.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Yeah. Yeah. I've got a sweet little mountain home up here and autumn weather is rolling in and it's getting a. Getting to be sweater time. That's cute.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like that time of year for you and for me. Well, your sister sounds like she's probably. She has a lot of her own issues that she probably has to sort out. So is there any way for you to kind of just limit your exposure to her?

[Nicole (Caller)]

Definitely. I mean, I. I have been at the point of limiting contact to just happy birthday once a year from my end, and there's been nothing from her to me for years. Anyways.

[Isla Fisher]

Wait, since the Trump. Sorry to interrupt. So after the Trump fight on the porch, she. Then that's when you guys cut off contact. Then you get. You send the birthday card and some gifts to the kid and she doesn't reciprocate.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Well, one, it wasn't a. I don't have a trump fight with her. I think she's actually pretty disgusted by all that. But, yeah, before the fight on the porch, you know, I tried to go to therapy with her. That didn't work. She hadn't reached out to me for anything other than maybe a happy birthday or two for years. And then. Yeah, sorry. Yeah, you're right. Since then, ooh, this is a lot. Excuse me. You know, since then it's been me just saying, you know, happy. Happy birthday to My sister and sending the her kiddos presents for their birthdays.

[Chelsea Handler]

Nicole, can I ask you why do you think that she's sort of like, taken up so much space of your mental space, your emotional space, especially now while you guys aren't in contact?

[Nicole (Caller)]

Well, it bothers me. And it's been hard to sort of rebuild, build after super bummer losses and stuff like that. Rebuild like the happy, you know, my happy garden, the. The, you know, cool parts of my life to better distract myself with. Though I have been making progress with it. I'm just, you know, like one. She's my sis, my sister, my only sister. I love her. Like, I'm not banking on our relationship getting better, but of course, like, there's no way for me to, like, totally lose hope about it. And I guess maybe another reason has to do with, like, her having the only kiddos in my family and on her husband's end too. So I think she's very much got like, the generous, cool old people in our families and just anyone, you know, we all love kids. We all want to see them happy and well supported and stuff like that. So, yeah, that probably has a lot to do with it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think that there's a loving kindness meditation you can do for people who wronged you. You know what I. There's that loving where you're sending them love. You're sending them happiness and safety and all of the things that you would wish upon someone you really did love, which is you do love your sister. You want, you know, good things for her. It clearly interferes with your own sanity and your own peacefulness to be interacting with her. So I would take whatever break that she's giving as a gift. Like to reframe it in your mind as like, this is a gift that has been given me. To protect yourself from more hurt and more pain coming from them. The kiddos aside, you can keep sending them gifts and hopefully maintain some sort of relationship with them, although that's all you can really do without, you know, going and exposing yourself to that family. And I'm sure they're. I don't know, are they. Is the kid old enough? Is it a boy or a girl to be alone with?

[Nicole (Caller)]

I love that advice. Thank you. Yeah. That is a great way to look at it. Yeah. The kiddos are the oldest ones, just turned nine.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you're not going to be spending time alone with them at the time.

[Nicole (Caller)]

I can't steal them yet. I do look forward to those days, though. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I just would really focus on actually Trying to just send positive vibes her way without contacting her like that. There's nothing positive that she's bringing into your life thus far. Like, it looks like you. You have, like, a really cozy retreat that you have set up for yourself. And some of the biggest insults in our lives come from people who do not deserve our ire. Like, they just don't get it. Like, you don't get my anger. You know what I mean? When somebody really hurts you, they do not get your. They don't get the benefit of my pain. And I think that's something that you have to, like, imprint on your mind. Write it down and put it on your fridge like this. This person isn't thinking about what's best for you. And so for you to be preoccupied with it isn't helping you move along. You should be focusing on the things that make you happy. Whatever your hobbies are, whatever you're into, double down on all of that. But always sending her love and light, like, that's all you can do to be a good person and to keep your side of the, you know, street clean. But just take the absence of her in your life as a sign that the universe is protecting you from being involved with her because it sounds like you've had some PA. Experiences with her. Wouldn't you agree? Isla, when somebody, like, somebody wrongs you, you know, whether it's a family member or someone you don't know well or a really good friend, they don't get your ire. They don't get it because it's not worth it. They've already proven themselves that they haven't earned it. So I would just write that down and write down your feelings around it and keep it somewhere close so you can check in with yourself and remind yourself of the reasons why you're better off not having her in your life. In that way, y. Yes, you'll always love her, but you don't have to expose yourself to her.

[Isla Fisher]

And yes, be flattered by the fact that she's, I guess, engaging in sibling rivalry. It means she's as. As much as her life looks, maybe from the outside to have ticked a few more of the kind of boxes with the kids and being, like, married or whatever that, like, clearly your family value those, you know, that doesn't prevent her from probably looking at your life cozied up in what looks like the cutest free people tan hoodie. Whatevs. She's probably at that furry snuggle muffin going, I wish I was having a tea. Not like on my third round of Monopoly with some kid.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah. She's probably looking at you and like, oh, wow, you're free. You didn't marry a Trump supporter. Look how free you are. Look at, you know, look at your freedom of choice.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Look at you getting home to be in a peaceful place where you don't have to listen to that nonsense.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

You know, I'd love to share this with her.

[Nicole (Caller)]

I'd love to, like, help her find that own freedom for herself. But you're totally right. I can only do that from a distance at this point, you know?

[Chelsea Handler]

And also, if you change your expectations, you're going to be less disappointed.

[Isla Fisher]

That is so true. That is the greatest piece of advice. I've been trying that lately.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah. One thing that helped me recently when I was in a similar situation was, and I don't know exactly who this would be for you. For me, it was my acupuncturist and she does some energy work as well, but she actually did a cord cutting ceremony for me with some people that I was having a difficult time with, and it really genuinely helped. It was something I had been talking to my therapist about for months and months and months, and having the sort of, like, severing the energetic tie was sort of the last piece I needed. I needed the therapy, too. But this sort of helped me feel a lot better about it and just detach from sort of the results of what was going on in the relationship and just be able to sort of.

[Isla Fisher]

I do also think if you have tried distance for a period of time and it's not working, and you do really love your sister. It's. You maybe be open a little to trying another tactic. Like, I know you tried that. You mentioned you did therapy, but maybe it is worth having another conversation because sometimes, like, things don't work and we just get stuck in a rut and. You only have one sister. Sorry.

[Chelsea Handler]

Confident. You just told me. I'm always right. I. Yeah. Lower your chair, please. I mean, I can't. I don't understand what she's even talking about right now. I'm sorry.

[Isla Fisher]

No, I just feel, like, guilty of. I've got two daughters and they're like, best friends right now, so I just couldn't help.

[Chelsea Handler]

You don't have a sister, though, right?

[Isla Fisher]

I don't. You're brothers. I love my brother.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

I'm very close to my friend.

[Nicole (Caller)]

If you guys want to go intervene and help her out, that would. I'm totally insecure.

[Chelsea Handler]

Get her on the line.

It's hard on this. You should have her see if she'll call in with you and then we'll do a three. But we don't give unsolicited advice. We actually need the people to call in because, I mean, yeah, we can't solicit. Yeah, we need to be solicited.

[Nicole (Caller)]

But I'm a total fan of that happening. That would be great. Personally, I feel at this point I've exhausted all my options. Like, it's. I've exhausted myself exhausting my options, like, multiple times.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it sounds like.

Like it.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Thanks for the great advice, though. Write down cutting ceremony.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Look it up. See if there's somebody in your area that can do that for you. That sounds like a great idea.

I'm sure there's some energy worker in your mountain town that will know. Know what that is for sure. Yeah.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Yeah, I love that. Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thanks, Nicole.

Thanks, Nicole. Take care.

[Nicole (Caller)]

Thank you. Yeah. Thanks for rocking.

[Chelsea Handler]

No problem.

[Isla Fisher]

Bye.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi. So contradictory.

[Isla Fisher]

Isla. Welcome to my life. I know why the MMs.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're not a mess.

[Isla Fisher]

I just pictured, like, if she continues on down this path. Don't you realize, like, how do you heal if you just cut somebody off.

[Chelsea Handler]

But if somebody's an unwilling participant, what are you supposed to do? Like, if someone's not willing, like, she's tried. You know what I mean? Like, if you give your effort, like, you can't spend.

[Isla Fisher]

I'm terrible, though. I'll be loyal for. I just go and go and go. I'm just like, I make it work, make it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, but being in this sort of, like, you know, difficult situation with her sister, it's like, it almost takes up more mental space for you because you're like, I've cut them off. This is my boundary. And you think about it all the time. Whereas if you can get to the point where just. You're neutral, even if you're not having much conversation with them or re. Engaging in relationship, it sort of just turns off that noise. At least for me it did. Anyway.

[Isla Fisher]

I do. I agree with you. Yeah, I think cut the cord, then name your baby after her.

[Chelsea Handler]

That sounds like a great idea. Will you edit Isla's initial response to this woman?

[Nicole (Caller)]

I will.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm just gonna cut. All right, well, we have some other badly behaved parents here, so Kelly is our next caller. She says, dear Chelsea, my husband has a big family that's very close, and his parents love getting everyone together as often as they can.

That sounds annoying already.

Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

Filing for divorce straight away.

[Chelsea Handler]

If I was there, he has three sisters and we all have kids now. So the gatherings have gotten larger and of course a bit more chaotic with that many people and kids involved. One sister in Law has three kids, 11 and under. Her style of parenting is well, non existent. It's making the family get togethers completely miserable to the point where I don't want to even attend family parties. Or if I do attend, it's making me want to drink heavily. And I'm trying to cut back these days, but that's a whole nother issue. My kids have issues that's just their nature and obviously that's not their fault to be born that way. Anger issues, possible adhd. The problem is these issues are not being diagnosed so it's not being addressed properly. Then there's the nurture side of it. These kids are totally free, feral. I'll admit I micromanage my kids and I'm working on stepping back some. But her kids are not being guided at all or raised at all. The TV's on all day long, they eat crap snacks all day, they have no respect for adults and they wander off, kick and scream when they don't get their way. The list goes on and on. This summer at a family reunion, one of my sister in law's kids started chasing the three other cousins with an aluminum bat. Angry, yelling and ready to swing if she could catch them all cuz she didn't want to be splashed in the pool. I don't see change coming from the parents anytime soon. They're oblivious to the fact that their children are absolute embarrassment. I need your advice. Am I allowed to say something? Is it my place since I'm just the sister in law or should I just distance myself from these events where they're in attendance? Thanks, Kelly.

Hi, Kelly.

[Isla Fisher]

Hi.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi. This is our special guest, Isla Fisher.

[Isla Fisher]

Hi Kelly, how are you?

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi.

[Kelly (Caller)]

I'm so excited to be on the show. Thanks for taking me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you're welcome. I would probably. Well, you're a parent. So Isla, you go first on this one. What do you think about parenting other people's kids?

[Isla Fisher]

Like the kid with the bat. How old was the Ali? How old was that little one with a bat?

[Kelly (Caller)]

10 years old, chasing really, really mad and very angry.

[Isla Fisher]

And let me ask, do you feel like. Because what are the real impacts on you? Is it more that they're modeling to your kids behavior that therefore that could lead them astray? Because I can't to wait work out like you could just obviously. I mean I. I have a come from a really Big family and all my brothers have loads of kids. And so everybody parents in my family super differently. But we, we have like a rule where, you know, we're allowed to parent each other's kids, but we're all kind of pretty chill. So, like, no one really gets stuck in unless the stakes are high and there's like a knife to a head or someone's like hanging in a garage or drowning in a dog bowl. No one really. But I guess my feeling is for you. Like, it's interesting that this is like provoking something within you. It makes me wonder whether you it' or that it's a mirror back to your own style of parenting, which you're worried may be either too, too, too tense or, or is it more that you're. It's the other thing that you think that this like, motley crew of, of, you know, this gang of as they sound, whatever are going to just make your kids derail and you'll be. Lose all control.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Right. Well, thankfully they do live farther away, so we only see them a few times a year. But it's that, it's that the parents don't ever chip in. Like, I agree, it's a village. And yes, if you see another child about to get hurt or maybe not being super nice to the other one, yes, you all step in, you all say something. I don't mind if someone corrects my children, but these parents, I. I would be raising the kids if I stepped in.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, okay.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Just not like I don't want to. I have my own kids to take care of. And, you know, it's just, it's difficult situation. No one says anything. Everyone thinks it's a problem, but no one's saying anything.

[Isla Fisher]

Oh, that's so frustrating. I feel the rage.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that is frustrating.

[Isla Fisher]

I mean, I get so angry hearing that. I always say what I think. I've got adhd.

[Chelsea Handler]

So it's bad if everyone feels that way. Then you guys should all band together and tell them that there are new rules when you guys come. When they, when you have these trips, it's only twice a year.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah, Intervention.

[Chelsea Handler]

So if they can't follow those rules, then they don't. Shouldn't come. And if you guys, if you guys are all on the same page, you just make sure there's a list of things. You don't even have to direct it towards them. You should say before the vacation, here are the list of behaviors that we're not willing to put up with. This is, these are the new rules moving forward as Combined families. However many children are you guys have together, which is how many in the immediate family?

[Kelly (Caller)]

Probably nine kids.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Great.

[Chelsea Handler]

Perfect reason, perfect reason to make a list. And these are the acceptable behavior. If and when anything outside of this happens, you won't be invited back. And if you don't think you can and it's not directed at them, this is for. To all of you. You know, somebody puts the letter out and this is to all of you guys so that they're not being targeted. Cause it's not cool. It's really not your place to tell somebody else how to parent. You know what I mean? It really isn't. It's not helpful. But if there's a set of rules that aren't being followed, then they can choose to not participate, you know, and then you have a reason to call them out. If they do choose to come and break those rules and their kids are one of them's running around with an aluminum bat, then you have every right to go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We just saw what. What's going to be acceptable behavior and what's not going to be acceptable behavior. But you have to get everybody on the same page and all the other families or your other option is for you to opt out of that vacation and not go.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Yeah, and that's funny. In your books you've mentioned the ground rules for your vacations and stuff. That is a good idea.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly. I was going to refer you to my last book. I wrote a letter to my whole family with every.

[Isla Fisher]

These are the words. This is the greatest thing I've ever heard.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'll send you the letter. You don't even have to write one. You can just copy and paste mine. It's perfect. I mean, people send it to me all the cell tell me all the time. They send it to the families. But it's true. Like, I stopped going on vacation with my family members who didn't want to abide by those rules. Then I'm not. Then I'm not paying for your vacation. Then I'll go on vacation with my own friends. I don't want to go on vacation with fucking children anyway, you know, what do you think you're doing here? Like, seriously? I wanted kids to drink my alcohol, then, yeah, I'd be running a fucking campsite. I mean, honestly. But I think you should try that first. Try to get everyone on board just as more of a general set of rules for everyone, for all of your kids, that it's acceptable to intervene if there's going to be violence. Or if there's danger or if somebody, you know, like we want to have each other's backs within this like small community family that we have. It's only twice a year. It's not hard to follow rules twice a. Twice a year and see if that makes a difference.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Yeah, that sounds good.

[Chelsea Handler]

I do want to nitpick about one little thing here too, because in your letter you refer a lot to the sister in law. But assuming that both parents are in the picture.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

Correct.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Yes. Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

They have a dad too. And so make sure that these rules are not just directed to the moms. They are, they're both, both parents are included and blamed.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Right. They're both so unaware and.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Kelly (Caller)]

It's insane how much they don't pay attention. I think they be like, what are you guys talking about? If anyone said anything.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And just remember, like the thing that people don't listen to is when they're judged. When you tell somebody this, I can't believe you did this. This isn't how you do it. I'm. You know, that doesn't help anybody blossom. It's when you share that helps people. You know, when you share. This is.

[Isla Fisher]

Oh, this is.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've, I've. You almost like want to put the problem back on yourself. Like you're dealing it with your children, which is fiction. That doesn't sound like what's happening, but it's almost like you want to position it that way. Like, I don't want my kids to be out of control when they're around all of their friends. I want them to have manners. I want them to look every adult in the eye. I want them to say please and thank you. Like you have a set of rules for your family and that, that's a great set of rules for a group trip. It's not about shaming them or saying, you know, how they're not paying attention, how unaware they are. It's about more about how you want to lift the standards up for your own family.

[Isla Fisher]

Oh, I love that.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Yeah, those are all good approach ideas.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, so, yeah, get on that and see what happens. Maybe you'll get a different result.

[Kelly (Caller)]

That sounds good. I appreciate it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, wonderful. Thanks for calling in.

[Isla Fisher]

Good luck, Kelly.

[Kelly (Caller)]

Okay, thanks everyone. Bye bye.

[Chelsea Handler]

Isla, how did you and your brothers come up with that? Did you guys agree that you were going to be able to parent your own children?

[Isla Fisher]

No, we just sort of. I, I think because it was staggered, people gave birth at different times and so it's practical too. And the sisters in law are really cool. And there's not many egos in my family, so, like, no one's gonna care. And, like, how dare you say that? I don't know, like, we're all pretty chill.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's nice.

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Isla Fisher]

But I have to say, like, we do let our kids misbehave. Like, we're not like a French family. If you came, you would definitely not want us on holiday with you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, maybe I would. Maybe I would at least. That would at least be real and in my face. You know what I mean? Not somebody, like, stealing alcohol and then shoving it under a rental house. You know, like empty bottles of beer under a rental house that I'm like, are you kidding me?

[Isla Fisher]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So no respect for other people's property. I mean, that was many years ago, by the way, so that's not fair to say. But actually, I have plenty of recent stories too. Okay, we're going to be right back. And to wrap things up with Isla Fisher. You know, it's not fun waking up at 2am drenched in sweat.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

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[Chelsea Handler]

And let me tell you, it is a game changer.

[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Isla Fisher]

I love you.

[Nicole (Caller)]

I love you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Nice to meet you. The movie is called now you see me, now you don't. It's the third installment, but the second installment for Isla. And then the other movie is called Spa weekend.

[Isla Fisher]

Spa Weekend.

[Chelsea Handler]

Spa Weekend.

[Isla Fisher]

And I have a movie called J. Kelly out. But I just have a little camera.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, J. Kelly, that's right.

[Isla Fisher]

No, I've just did a little one.

[Chelsea Handler]

But that's supposed to be incredible.

[Isla Fisher]

It's great. Have you seen it? I haven't seen the latest cut. No. I'm excited. I'm excited. So I've had fun and I'm. I'm hoping everyone comes to see this one. I think it ticks all the boxes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I'm glad that you're having such a good time working and I'm glad that you're having such a fun life.

[Isla Fisher]

Thank you. I am.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you're an independent woman now, and you're thriving with your new life in London and my over the knee boots, and I just love it. And I love seeing you always.

[Isla Fisher]

Aw. Text me when you come to London. Nice to meet you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I will. I'll text you. And Stella, Stella, this episode's for you. I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write into dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching eercelseipod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com. mom.

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[Chelsea Handler (Ad Voice)]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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What a matchup we got, y'.

[Nicole (Caller)]

All.

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This is that classic hbcuva NASDAQ chop action. The band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo drum beat. Everybody showing that school pride. Game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Passionate fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo no matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work. So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is an iHeart podcast.