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Chelsea Handler
This is an I Heart Podcast.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
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Catherine
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
Hi Catherine.
Producer
Hey Chelsea. Well we have a great guest today. Everyone knows her from Reno, 911, Bridesmaids and now St. Denis Medical. And Wendy McLendon Covey is joining us now.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Hello Wendy.
Caller
Hi baby.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Hi Hi. Hi. Wendy McLendon Covey Good morning.
Caller
Good morning to You.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Was that your brother helping you set up your podcast?
Caller
That was my husband. My brother husband.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
My brother husband. Hi. It's so nice to see you.
Caller
It's good to see you.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I tried to see you the night we were at the Critics Choice Awards together. I saw you, but I didn't see you.
Caller
Good job with that. P.S.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.
Caller
That was amazing, because you had the unenviable position of having to make everybody happy after the city had burned to the ground and that show had been rescheduled three times, and you nailed it. You were fantastic.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Thank you. Thank you so much, Wendy. I appreciate that. Wendy and I share a gynecologist, and his name is David Alan Grier. So I first want to just talk about your experience working with him, because I have never, ever been able, nor will I ever, Wendy, be able to take that man seriously as an actor, as a person, as a skier. I. I tried to ski with him once. I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he tried. He tried to tell me he could ski. And this was before I became the skier that I am today. Before I. I'm. I'm a pretty decent and competent skier now.
Caller
Yeah, you are.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. And I worked hard to get there. You know, Like, I took. I took it very seriously, like, almost like a college degree. But David, like the idiot that he is and will always remain, tried to convince me that. Or he. He's the one. Actually, no, I have to give him a little bit of credit. He's the one who got me back into skiing because he took me skiing on the West Coast. I don't remember if we were in Tahoe or we were in maybe Aspen Comedy Festival. It was something where there was, like, a comedy festival related, so it must have been Aspen. And he was like, oh, let's go skiing. I said, I don't have any ski clothes. And it was like, spring ish. And he said, you don't need any. You just need jeans and, like, you know, a vest. And I'm like, since when? Cause I grew up in New Jersey, so I skied on the east coast, right? And so he convinced me to go skiing. We went skiing. We went out for about an hour and a half until he started complaining he was too cold in the springtime. He was the one who dragged me out there and then started complaining. Finally, I told him to get off the mountain. I was having a really good time on my own. You know, I was like, leave me alone. And that was When I discovered that skiing could be actually pleasurable when other people weren't with you and in warmer weather when you didn't have to put on all that gear. And so he kind of was. He was kind of the person that reintroduced me to adult skiing. So I do want to give him that shout out, but I've had so many personal experiences with him as a friend that. That I don't want to give him any credit beyond that.
Caller
Okay, you're blowing my mind. That he skis at all.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Well, he doesn't.
Caller
And because he doesn't like to leave the house, the David I know now, again, I've only known him for a year or two. You've known him for a lot longer. But that he would willingly go and ski or do something physical, that's amazing to me.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Or do something fun.
Caller
Yes.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I don't know what's happened to him over the past couple of years. Cause I haven't stayed in touch with him. I think I haven't hung out with him probably in like 10 years. But whenever I see him, I just think of that day on the mountain and I just think of. I mean, he is one of our funniest people. He is.
Caller
He really is.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah. And what. Tell me about what it's like working with him.
Caller
Well, okay, so you and I are roughly the same age, so we both watched In Living Color, right?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah.
Caller
And that was a pretty mind blowing show at the time. And he was so damn funny on that and in anything he does. So when I heard that he was doing this show, St. Denis Medical, I couldn't say yes fast enough. And when I'm on set, I feel like I just catch myself staring at him like, wow, you're really right there. And we know each other and you know who I am. And this is. This is crazy to me that this is where my life is. So when we're in a scene together, I basically turn into an audience member. Okay, you forget to say my line.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
So you respect him?
Caller
Oh, yes.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah. That's the difference between you and me. I don't have any respect for him. Actually, we should book him on the podcast because I would like to tell him to his face.
Caller
Yeah, tell him. I think he needs to hear it.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
But I like that you do respect him because he is very entertaining and obviously the show is a huge hit. Congrats on all the nominations you guys received. Well, the Critics Choice nomination for sure. And congrats on season two.
Caller
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Also, congrats on being one of the funniest women out there. Because you make me fucking laugh.
Producer
Mm.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
What? I mean, a lot of you, you laugh.
Caller
That is.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, you do. You make. You make everybody laugh. You're ridiculous. You and Carrie. Kenny Silver on Reno 911 is just too fucking funny. These two are ridiculous together. Well, the whole cast of Reno 911 deserves an award every year. Just forever having done that show.
Caller
Well, you had some fun with us, didn't you?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I did. I did a guest star on that show years and years ago. I was so. I was. Yes. Which was also a ridiculous experience. It was so fun to be a part of that show because you guys improv so much, and everyone was always just about to break and always laughing in the middle of scenes. And that's really what I. Those are the only kinds of productions I like to be involved in, is when people are breaking on camera.
Caller
Well, we were lucky to get you, and you were so cool about it, because I remember, you know, Reno was just like a fly by the seat of our pants kind of show. Like, permits. Never heard of her. You know, we never got permits for anything. It was just guerrilla shooting. So we needed cars. For some reason, we needed cars to drive by, and it wasn't safe. But you said, oh, you can use mine. I'm turning it in tomorrow. It doesn't matter. You can thrash it. It was like, that's a good girl right there. She. She will go there.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yes, of course.
Caller
And she's hilarious. So. Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
All in the name of comedy, right, Wendy?
Caller
That's right. That's right.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
So tell me about your life. What's happening? What's happening in your personal life? So this is your husband. Brother that set up your podcast for you?
Caller
Yes. And right now we're in New Orleans.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh, what are you doing there?
Caller
We have the tiniest condo in the French Quarter, and we come out here as often as we can. I love this city. I cannot tell you what kind of hold it has on me.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Wow.
Caller
But we hadn't been able to get out here since right around New Year's, so we needed to come out and just check on things, do some housekeeping. And of course, we're going to have fun and try to hear some music and stuff. But we've missed Mardi Gras this year. We're missing Jazz Fest. We. We missed French Quarter Fest, but doesn't matter. I just love it here.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
It feels like there's always a festival happening in the French Quarter.
Caller
Always. And when we got here, there were three parades, three parades. We couldn't. Our cab couldn't even get us to our house. They had to drop us off at the park, and we just walked our luggage through the.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Through the.
Caller
Through the Quarter. Yeah. Pretty much became.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
You should have immersed yourself in the parade until you got to your house.
Caller
I know. I should have just, you know, disrobed.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Do you ever run into Amy Schumer down there? Cause I was recently. When I was. Did a show down there, I went to her house in the French Quarter.
Caller
I heard that she has a house. And no, I've never run into her.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh, you two need to connect. You two would really get on like a house on fire.
Caller
Really?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah. I'm gonna put you on a text with her.
Caller
Do you know if she has a big house? Cause like I said, we've got a tiny little house place. Because I don't want to. I don't want to worry about a big house.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
No, no, no, no. It's not crazy or anything like that. It's. It's normal. It's normal size. She does have a pool in the backyard, but it's not.
Caller
Wow.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah. But it's not a crazy house. Amy's not crazy like that. She's like, you know, she's pretty normal now.
Caller
You have a house in Spain.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I do. That is not a normal house.
Caller
Oh, my God, no.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
And I'm not going to pretend that it is. You know what I mean?
Caller
But do you. You must go there a lot.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I do go there. I go there in the summer. I. We rent out that house a lot because, you know, it is so ridiculous. So in order to justify it, I have to rent it out. But I do go there with. I go there, like, I'll be there in June for a week, and hopefully I'll spend, like the month of September or October, whatever my schedule allows. I share that house with a lot of my friends and family, and it is the biggest. It's one of the best gifts I've ever given myself is the house in Majorca. Catherine's been there.
Producer
It's so gorgeous.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
It's amazing. It's kind of like a slice of. I remember looking at this house and, you know, places speak to you as you're talking about New Orleans, right? Which is such a magical place. Everyone. If you haven't been to New Orleans, once you go, you understand there's just something there that is not available anywhere else in any other city in the United States. And I'm not sure about the world. I mean, you know, maybe there's parts of Paris. I feel like the French Quarter or something, but. Which was why it's probably called the fucking French Quarter. But I just pieced that together as I was saying it. I'm like, oh, but you know when you find something and you're like, whoa, whoa, whoa. This is like my childhood. Like, it came from my childhood memories. It evoked all of these happy feelings. Like the view of the water in the setting that it is, and just the boats that, like, the sailboats parked in the bay reminded me so much of my childhood growing up on Martha's Vineyard and seeing. Oh, wow. It's not the same exact view, obviously, but it's a very similar view. And I remember we would always sit outside on our deck, and my dad would. Every time we would be outside, he'd be, look at this view. Look at this view. So I've had that imprinted in my brain. And when I found my house in Mallorca, it was dilapidated, it was run down. I had to climb over some balustrade and banister to get up there with a couple of friends. And I remember turning around once we got in, once we broke in and turned around and looked at the view. I said, look at this view. I cannot believe this house is abandoned. Like, I'm gonna get it. And so that's how I feel every time I'm there. Like, look at this view. And I could get lost in that view and sit in front of that water for days and not leave the house and be perfectly happy as long as somebody's making me a frozen mango daiquiri.
Producer
It's really magical.
Caller
There it is. You know, the older you get, the less it takes to make you happy. And sometimes it's just a nice view and a good drink.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I know. Yeah. Yeah.
Caller
So wait, you're.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
You're.
Caller
Your house was abandoned. You. You just found it. You didn't go through a realtor or anything. You just.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
It said for sale in Spanish on it. But, like, it was. It was like the roofs had caved in. Like. Like the pictures were still on the walls.
Caller
The. The.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
The. Like, you could go up halfway up the staircase, but you couldn't go all the way up to the top. So it needed just to be re. Fortified. There's not a lot of leeway they give you in those small towns. You have to kind of stick to the plan and just, like, refortify it. You know what I mean? Like, the. The. Even the banisters have to be in, like, you know, Mallorcan code. And so that's Even more beautiful, I think, so. That you can't really. You know, you can obviously design it however you want in the interior, but what you do on the outside has to have the edifice, has to match the area. But, yes. Best gift I ever bought myself.
Caller
Amazing. And you earned that.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Thank you.
Caller
You earned that. You worked your ass off. So, yes, you absolutely deserve to have a beautiful vacation home.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Well, you deserve the same. You absolutely deserve the same. You don't. You don't have any children, Wendy. Nope.
Caller
Nope. Nope.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
And how do you feel about that decision?
Caller
Every day I pat myself on the back for sticking to my guns.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Fucking high five. High fucking five right there. I mean, the best thing that. The thing that people never tell you about making the choice to never have children, which nobody ever told me that was a choice either. Did anyone ever tell you it was a choice or did you just inherently know or.
Caller
I just always knew I didn't want them.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yes.
Caller
But I never said that because it seemed like something that I was gonna have to do regardless. But, I mean, even when. When I remember being little, being presented with a baby doll and being like, oh, no, that's so much work.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah.
Caller
I don't want to. I don't want to fuss with this thing. I got stuff to do. I've got to go make mud pies. And, you know, I never wanted them, but I liked Barbies. I liked, you know.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Me, too.
Producer
She's a career woman.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Me, too.
Caller
Yes, She's a career woman. Exactly.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I had never contemplated this, though, but you're absolutely right. That's how I felt about, like, playing mommy and baby and with little babies. Like, I liked Cabbage Patch Kids because they seemed like they had a little personality.
Caller
Yes.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
You know what I mean?
Caller
Like, they could change their own diaper, probably.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah. And they were like, you could get one with a dimple and green eyes and brown hair. Like, you could kind of design them or they, you know, like, pick out the ones. You sort of had freckles, but they seemed like they had a little spunk. They weren't babies, you know, I remember getting a preemie cabbage patch. I'm like, I don't want this. I want the one with the long brown hair, the green eyes and the dimple.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
That's what I was.
Caller
Preachies. They. They're too. They're too young. You gotta be fussing with them all the time. Every two hours, you gotta feed them. No, thank you. Want nothing to do with that.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
The other thing, though, is what we need to tell people who are Listening to this as we have so many female listeners, and I'm sure many of them are on, you know, thinking and deliberating about whether or not they wanna be a mother. When you choose not to. Cause people go, am I gonna regret this decision? I don't know anyone that hasn't had a child that sits around and goes, I wish I had one. Anyone that is child free goes, thank God I got through that area of time, that period of time where I could have been vulnerable to possibly dislodging a child. I did not fall for. Fall prey to that. And I made it through the tunnel that. Where I am no longer able or viable to have one. Like, I feel like, whew, I got through that test.
Caller
Yep, yep. And then I. For a while, I looked at, like, Diane Keaton, who adopted at 50, and I think, well, is that an option? No, it isn't.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
No. No, it's not.
Caller
It isn't. And I love kids, and I love that people want to have kids. I don't judge that, but, boy, do I feel judged when I tell people, yeah, that was never in the plan. Never wanted them. I've been told, you know. Oh, well, that's really selfish. It's really selfish of you not to have them. And it's, like, wild. I don't think it is. I think it's selfish to have them because you think you're supposed to and then resent them.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah.
Caller
And turn them into an unfunny comedy routine that a lot of people do.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh, yeah.
Caller
I don't. I think that's repugnant. But whatever.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I think it's selfish to bring a child into this world where you're not 150% down with the idea of what's going to happen. Like, if there's any doubt at all, then it's not for you. You have to yearn for something the way that, like, we would yearn for our careers, the way that we yearn to be creative. You have to have that longing and that yearning with regard to children. And if it's not there, then I think that's your answer.
Caller
Yeah, exactly. And I see people going through IVF and doing all these things, and it's like, well, I hope it happens for you. You clearly want it so much, but I've never wanted it. Oh, and Greg and I, you know, we've been married 29 years, and we would check in with each other. You, good, you don't want any. Great. And we. We've always been on the same page with it.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Wow, 29 years. That's great. And that's why you're still together. Probably because you never had a baby.
Caller
I think so, too. I think.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
What are you going to do for your 30th anniversary? Do you want to go to my house in Mallorca? I'm offering it up for you to celebrate your 30th anniversary. Wedding anniversary.
Caller
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I'll obviously pepper in some other couples who are celebrating big milestones so it can turn into a big swingers party, because I can't ever bunk up.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I can't ever leave well enough alone.
Caller
That would be amazing. And we'll look at the view.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Give us some serious nuggets of wisdoms or not so serious of. Of why you have a successful marriage for 30 years. Like, what is the secret? What's your secret?
Caller
Well, my secret, my quote unquote secret, is before I say anything critical of him, I look at myself and find out that I'm not so delightful either. So I try not to criticize him before I see what I'm doing wrong.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
That's right.
Caller
And I'm usually doing something terrible. I'm a pain in the ass. He's very easy.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
How are you a pain in the ass?
Caller
You know, listen, I'm an actor. I'm very needy, I'm moody, I'm a perfectionist, and I have a short temper, whereas Greg is nothing but pure sweetness, is very slow to anger, and is just the most supportive person in the world. So if there's anything wrong in our marriage, it's usually my fault. And I'm willing to admit that. I can admit it. And I think admitting it is one thing. And also, when he does something sweet, I tell the whole wide world. So I brag on him a lot because he is really like, I couldn't do anything that I do if I didn't have that man. He's the only one who ever encouraged me to go into acting. The rest of my family and friends were just like, oh, this is embarrassing. Don't do that.
Producer
Well, he was right. Apparently it worked out.
Caller
He was right. But, like, he's the one who wakes me up in the morning. He gets up before me, he fixes my breakfast every morning and sends me off to work. What else can I ask for it?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
You know what I mean? It sounds like you chose very well for your personality.
Caller
He's just my everything. I was just born to love that man.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I love that. I love to hear that. That's so. It is very Heartwarming to hear. Did you make bad choices before you met your husband? Like, did you have a pattern of dating other types of men? Yeah.
Caller
Yes, I did. I did. But I learned my lessons quickly. Like, if I do something terrible once, I will not do it again. So, like, if I date a drug addict once, that's going to be the only one, you know, I'm done. I see the signs. We're not going to go through this again. You can't change people. That's not my job. I got other things to do. So there's that. And also, like, my parents and I love them and they're still together. They are having their 60th wedding anniversary next week. But they fought constantly. They got married very young and they fought constantly. For some people when they grow up in that, they seek that out without realizing it because it feels normal. That never felt normal. And I won't do it. I'm not going to live in a house where there's constant chaos and arguing. So I, I knew that's not something that I was going to put up with.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, a lot of people who call in have a lot of trouble breaking that. Like, I, I'm a big proponent of what you're saying. Make your first time the last time, you know, Like, I don't wanna learn the same lessons twice. I'm busy. I wanna, like, move on and learn another lesson. I wanna, you know, I wanna have new experiences. But a lot of our people are like, how, you know, like, they have such trouble letting go of toxic relationships. And at our age, it's so easy to give the advice of, like, this is just not for you. The sooner you learn these lessons, the happier and freer in. And then the things that you want and think that you need come to you without so much effort being put out.
Caller
No, you're 100% right. And if you will just do that kind of mental house cleaning, then you make space for all that good stuff to come in. But if you don't clean house, you're always blocking your blessings, which I know is a very woo woo woo thing to say, but.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
No, no, no, you're in the perfect place. No, that's okay. I'm woo woo too. I mean, you can't be. You can't move to California, live here for 30 years and not just fucking capitulate. You know what I mean? I'm like, okay. I mean, I'm like, I'm two Easters away from celebrating that, you know, I mean, and that's. And that's not woo woo. That's actually woo woo to me now is that's what I consider. Woo woo is like real religion. I'm like, okay, get away from me with that. But what do you guys have to Talk about after 30 years together? Out of curiosity, is that ever. Oh, God, Just anything. Just so natural that you. It doesn't even. It's not an issue because I have trouble keeping a conversation with somebody I've been dating for 10 months.
Caller
Yeah. I think the way to get around that, though, is that silence is okay sometimes, too.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah.
Caller
You don't always have to be entertaining.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
No.
Caller
You can just sit there, it's fine. And then things do pop up that you've never, you know, stories you've never told before. I don't know, it's just that it does seem like you would run out of things to talk about. But there are always things. And I don't know how to explain it, but it never gets boring.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Back to St. Denis Medical. Do you guys do a lot of improv on that show?
Caller
We do. We do. Our showrunner, Eric Legend, he was one of the creators of Superstore and American Auto and stuff like that. He really does encourage us to get it done the scripted way and then we can improvise if there's just something we have to do. And they usually leave it in. They've been pretty generous with us. And I have to say, working on that show is such a pleasure because our showrunners love their families and want to go home at night. So if they don't, you know, for the listeners at home, if you're a showrunner doesn't necessarily want to go home, you don't get to go home either. So it's great because we're usually done by six o' clock every night.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh, wow, what a treat. That is ideal.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
In this business, that is very unusual.
Caller
I got the script for that show, like, four hours after the Goldbergs was canceled. So I'm lucky it came my way because it was in a. During a year where they just weren't making a lot of pilots at all. I think they made four across network television.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yes.
Caller
And this one got picked up.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I remember that year. I remember when they was like, out of. I mean, they used to make like 25 pilots a year and then pick up, I don't know, 10. And then all of a sudden there was one year where they made four fucking pilots and people were panicking about the state of the industry. So you were on the Goldbergs for 10 years. Was it.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
10 years. And you played a mother and I read that you didn't want to play mother again. Isn't it funny? Even playing a mother is exhaust.
Caller
Well, I mean, I had. Look, I play. I got to relive the 80s again. So I've been in the 80s for 20 years. All right. Which I've had enough. All right, I get it. The 80s were fun. I loved playing a mom and now I understand like kind of what my mom went through at that time. But I got that out of my system playing, you know, the overbearing mama. And I loved it. But I didn't want to do it again. Not for a while anyway.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Right.
Caller
And so when I read this, you know, the character of Joyce, the administrator, the hospital administrator, she's such an oddball that I found her irresistible and was like, yes, I think I want to do this.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah. I mean the role is so perfect for you and you're so perfect in it.
Caller
Thank you.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Absolutely. I love you. I think you're just so fucking funny. I mean, so talented.
Caller
Thank you, Chelsea. Thank you.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Okay, we're going to take a break and we'll be right back with Wendy McClendon Covey and her brother husband. We'll be right back.
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
There's Always a trade in.
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma.
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer. It's lavender.
Ad Voice
I'm good.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Seriously. Let me check this pocket.
Producer
Oh, mints.
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Really, I'm fine.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh, I have raisins.
Caller
I'm a mom.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Wait, wait one sec. I've got cups. Kicks in the car.
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Producer
Well, our first email comes from Andrea. The subject is 26 year old Virginia. Dear Chelsea, My daughter just came to visit me for a couple of weeks. My daughter is beautiful, thoughtful and smart. She graduated college, went to cooking school and is now working successfully as a chef. Whenever I ask, the subject of dating is always changed to another subject or answered with a one word answer. She never has a boyfriend and never has and never really even kissed someone and I'm just at a loss as to why. I asked her if she was asexual and she said no. She's only getting older and I don't want her to be alone and never see what joy being in a relationship will bring, let alone sex. I don't know what to do or say. Please help. Coming from her loving mom who only wants the best for her. Andrea, is she gay?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Is your daughter a lesbian? And do you have feelings about her being a lesbian that are preventing her from being truthful to you about being a lesbian? Asexual isn't the only question to be asking though.
Producer
No, totally, totally.
Caller
I agree.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
You know what I mean? Like if she's asking if she's asexual, she's asked if she's gay. She didn't mention that part. And she keeps mentioning a man, not a person.
Producer
Right, right.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
So maybe she's a lesbian, so maybe you should think about that or. I don't know. Do you know a lot of asexual people? Wende I. I do know a couple.
Caller
I know a couple. I know a couple. And look, she's 26. She could be just very picky. She could be gay. That was my first thought as well. Or she might have a secret life that you don't know anything about.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Sounds like that's pro. Or she could be a totally late bloomer. Some people don't really come into their own until they're in their 30s. Like sexually, first of all, you don't even come into your own sexually until you're like 40s and 50s for a lot of women. So that could be something too. But definitely you pushing her is not going to put her in a relationship that, that has no impact whatsoever on anyone. I would leave the situation alone for as long as possible until she comes to you with some information that allows you to ask further questions. But I would also put it out there that if she is a lesbian, if she is asexual, if she does have some secret life that she doesn't want you to know about, that you are okay with that because you have to be.
Producer
Yeah, yeah. I mean, and some people, I think dating now is so intimidating.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Weird. It's weird.
Producer
Bizarre. Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
It's like we went full tilt on the dating apps and everyone went bonkers and now there's like a contraction like, people are so disgusted by dating apps and by what's available out there that people are like, I'd rather be alone. So I think we're in that phase of things. And plus, our younger generations are not as sexually active as we were because there's so much porn and everything. So they actually don't need to get it, you know, so there's this possibility that she's asexual. Yeah. Also, just leave her alone. Like, there's nothing that's sexy about talking to your mother about sex. So that's not going to probe her. I mean, that's not going to push her. Sorry to say probe. That's not going to get her probe. Mom's trying to get her probe into anything. So back off, Mom. Back off.
Producer
Our first caller today is Beth. She is 30. Dear Chelsea, I've been with my partner for almost seven years. I'm 30 and he's 52. I am biologically child free. However, last summer, my partner's teenage son moved in with us full time from the west coast to the Southeast because he was expelled from his school and was having various behavioral challenges. The transition was extremely challenging for me personally as someone who has no desire to have kids. So much so that I got my tubes removed earlier this year. But I also did it for our relationship as my partner and I have different ideas of parenting at times. I do think his son is a good person at heart, but his communication is regularly disrespectful and loud. He doesn't ever take accountability, which is super triggering for me. My partner and I have been in couples therapy for co parenting, which has been helpful for the relationship. But I still find myself frustrated with his son's behavior. I absolutely loved your book and how you wrote about your relationship with Poopsie, Whoopsie, and Oopsie. It really touched me and I admire how you built a relationship with them and became such an influence in their life. So my question is this. When I'm so frustrated with my partner's son's behavior, how do I get over my frustration and irritability? What do you think I can or should do to build a stronger relationship with him? I've been in his life since he was 7. We've gone on vacations together. We play video games sometimes I drive in places, do his laundry, occasionally cook family dinner for the three of us nightly. Among Other things. But I'm still struggling with the relationship dynamic I have with his son. Please help me be a better stepmom. I'd like to have what you're having. Love you so much, Beth.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Hi, Beth.
Caller
Hi, Chelsea.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Hi. This is Wendy McClendon Covey, our special guest today.
Caller
Hi.
Hi, Beth. Nice to meet you.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
That's nice that you're. I mean, first of all, it's very nice that you're trying so hard and that you want to try hard, you know, and that is a difficult situation. How old is he again?
Caller
He is 15. And, okay, it was. It was hard in the. The beginning. When he first came, I was kind of on the fence because it was so hard because I'm the oldest of seven kids. So that was also. That's like a. Just a component of life.
Producer
Like, you've done your mothering.
Caller
Yeah, it's. It's was hard. It still kind of is. But now I'm more in the spirit of, like, okay, I'm trying to give this a try and just fully embrace it. And when I get so irritable and frustrated, like, this has kind of also been a hard week, it makes me. I don't want to say not want to try, but it makes me feel just overwhelmed.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
And is he. How. Like, what level of disrespect does he exhibit to you towards you?
Caller
So he'll get. I mean, he's a teenager, so I know teenagers have attitudes, but he'll have an attitude or whole talk back. He also doesn't know when enough is enough or, like, when to stop. So, like, for example, this weekend we went to the beach and, you know, horsing around. We had fun. And then it's like, okay, we're done. But all throughout the rest of the day, he kept antagonizing and just hitting me. And then I was laying in bed Saturday night with my partner, and he comes in and, like, hits me on the head, like, thinking he's joking. And I'm like, I'm trying to go to sleep enough. So it's just also just, like, not knowing when enough is enough. And I'm also someone that stays very calm. I don't like yelling. Whereas my partner, you know, they'll get in arguments and yell. And so when I say something to him or point out, you know, hey, your dad is trying to tell you xyz, he then will shut down or he'll become nasty back towards me.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Sounds like a typical teenager.
Caller
Yeah. And sometimes I see a lot of myself in him. Like, when I was a teenager. I was also very headstrong. So I relate to him on some levels. We're also both Libras, if that means anything to you.
But I'm a Libra as well. I get it. Oh, yeah.
Let's go, Libra.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Great. Because I don't get it. I don't know what that means.
Caller
Just balance and wanting balance and stuff, but.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Right, right.
Caller
Yeah. It's just. I think it's been hard also because I don't want kids for a very, very, you know, long list of reasons. So. Yeah, I'm just not sure what to do in terms of how to not be so triggered and frustrated because I'm also in my own recovery for mental health. So personal responsibility and accountability to me means a lot. And it's very, very frustrating to try to build awareness around him of, like, how to take accountability. Like, he's getting. He gets in arguments with teachers a lot, and it's always the other person's fault. So I think that's hard for me too.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, that's annoying. Well, but Also, again, he's 15 years old, so his brain isn't fully formed yet. Right. And it's not going to be for, unfortunately, for another 10 years because he's a man. So that's like what, 25, 26 was when their brains fully formed.
Producer
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Is that right? Yep. Or is it later?
Producer
I want to say, like, 25 to 20 is when you're like, frontal lobe is done cooking.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
What I've learned when I took my parenting classes for Poopsie, Whoopsie, and Oopsie, what I've learned is, like, you know, when they're. When they're combative, it's different with a boy, so. But when they are combative, it's like you have to be in a joking mood with them. Like, you can't meet their anger with anger. Like your husband yelling at him when. And him yelling like that doesn't do anything. That just keeps the cycle going. And it's like a storm in the sky that's just moving around in different areas. But when you meet their anger with, like, yeah, I hear you. You sound pissed off. You must be pissed. Yeah, you sound really pissed off. Not validating his feelings, but acknowledging how he feels. You know what I mean? Not saying you're right and that your feeling is justified, but like, wow, you do seem really pissed off. You know, let me give you some space. Or like, okay, well, I'll be over here when you calm down. When you wanna talk about it, if you wanna Talk about it. I'm here. You don't have to. Whatever. You just kind of throw it back at them in the moment that they're in so that you're not ignoring their feelings. And it actually makes you feel better. Because what we tend to do, I think, when we're dealing with other people's children is take things so personally. And it's not personal like they're going through puberty. They have all these hormones raging through their bodies. Their temper is not their own, their emotions are not their own. You know, it's a period in their life where they're just uncontrolled. It doesn't happen as badly with every teenager, but it happens a lot. And it sounds like that's what's happening with him, you know, and in the moments of calm is when you can kind of point things out. And since you're a stepmom, it's a very specific dance of being like, you know, you wanna be like a cool person in their life that they can come to. You wanna, like, open up that avenue and be like, listen, I know this is frustrating, but, like, when you wanna talk about it, if you ever do wanna talk about it, I'm here. I'm always here for you. And not to impose yourself on them, but to make sure. And it sounds like you're doing all those things. You're spending time with him, you're cooking dinners every night. You're doing all of the things that put the marbles in the jar so that he knows he has an ally and someone he can rely on. And the instance of him coming in and smacking you on the head in the bedroom when you're done playing, like, how did you react in that moment?
Caller
I just turned over slowly and looked at him and I was like, really? Like, just. I didn't yell at him or was.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Like, what are you doing?
Caller
Why would you. I just acknowledged maybe this isn't the time and place. Like, it's 9 o' clock at night. We had fun at the beach earlier, but, you know, and his dad has noticed the same thing. Like, they'll roughhouse and they'll play around, but then it's still the same of like, he doesn't know when to stop. And if we try to, I don't want to say get stern, but, like, more serious of like, okay, hey, it's time to stop. Then that triggers him and he gets upset and then is like, oh, you guys are no fun. Or, you know, why do you always have a problem? And it's like, no, it's just enough.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Cause he's embarrassed. He's embarrassed to get like, so how did you react when you did that? When you turned over and you gave him that look? Did he get the message?
Caller
He just walked out.
Great, great.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
But that's the result you want, like, end of that, you know what I mean? Without an argument. He got the message. So I think you're doing a good job with the way you're handling it. By not losing your temper, by being available when they need you. And you know, when he gets in fights with his teachers repetitively, it's not about like, oh, you know what, what's your part in this? Because he's not there yet. He's only 15 years old. But it's just acknowledging. Yeah, that must be really tough. Without laying blame on either person, him or the teacher. Be sure that you're not doing that, which it doesn't sound like you are, but by just being available. Available for the good moods, for the bad moods. Being around there. Don't allow yourself to be a punching bag. But that doesn't warrant a fight either. You can just say, I'm sorry, I'm not interested in this right now. Like, you're kind of being aggressive. That's fine. You're in a mood. I'm gonna go over there or I'm gonna go to my room. And then when you're ready to talk, come get me. I'm always here. That kind of attitude. Do you get what I'm saying?
Caller
Yeah, yeah, I do. That. That makes sense. And I think. Cause it's like, I wanna be a support for him, which I think I am.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
But like, it sounds like you definitely are.
Caller
Yeah, I try. And I've known him since, like I said, he was 7. And you know, we've had instances where he'll just come and talk to me and start telling me stuff about girls or whatever's going on in school. And we've had some good conversations. His, like, why he thinks he lies and why he thinks he does the things he does. And I've noticed that if he's not being yelled at, he's also more inclined to be calm, which is, you know, the ideal.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Well, of course. I mean, anyone's going to be more calm when they're not being yelled at.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
What do you think, Wende?
Caller
Well, first question, are they in therapy together?
He was in anger management classes when he lived back out on the west coast. And I'm a big proponent for therapy. I wish he would do it, not his dad. Would kind of push him to do it. He thinks he doesn't need it.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Okay, well, he's.
Caller
The two of them need to be in therapy together, I think.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, I think so too. I think that's a great idea.
Caller
And I am a little concerned that you have been adamant about how you don't want kids, but you are taking on this mother role. I don't know. That just kind of stuck out to me. Like, I don't know.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Beth, I think at the very minimum, the least that your husband can do in exchange for you taking on this role that you did not seek out for yourself would be to mandate that there is, you know, therapy. Like that he goes to therapy with his son or that his son go alone. He's the father. The kid is 15. He doesn't really have a choice. It doesn't matter that a 15 year old doesn't think they need therapy. That's just invalid, you know, like. And that has to be on him. And you know what I mean, that has nothing to do with you. It can't be coming from you. It has to be coming from his father. And that could be an easy requirement. He wasn't living with you guys and he was going to anger management. That's a sign that he should be continuing in the direction of therapy in some capacity. For sure.
Caller
Yeah. And you shouldn't be the only one doing all the inner work. You know, you're in recovery, you said so that that can be very triggering. And I feel like that's the biggest piece of the puzzle is the two of them need to work on this together.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
So can you talk to your husband about that? Do you feel comfortable having that conversation?
Caller
Yeah, for sure. And I think he might be open to it. I hadn't thought about it before of both of them going together, because like my partner, we're together in therapy, which we've only. Well, we've been doing it for about three months now, which it's been helpful. But he's admitted and knows he parents from a place of guilt, of like dad guilt. But that's his stuff he needs to deal with, not me.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, and he should. And that kid should just be going to therapy on his own anyway. You know, it sounds like he's been uprooted and moved around, like he needs to go to therapy. You don't just go to anger management classes. And then that's the end of the story, you know, there's gotta be another transition and another phase out and it's only gonna be helpful. But that has to come from your husband. So why don't you have that conversation with your husband and be like, listen, this is. I'm putting a lot of effort here, you know, and also the self work that you're talking about, like, you know, letting him trigger, like, you're doing a great job. So pat yourself on the back for that. This kid's not gonna unmoor you. He's not gonna. You know, you're think of yourself as a tree. You're a tree, and there are leaves and there are branches that might wave around through the wind and storms, but you are firmly planted in the ground. You've done your work. You're in recovery. And this is just another way that you can, like, spread your love around, you know, via him with all of the components in place and that being one of the major components being therapy.
Caller
Thank you. I do really appreciate that because I've really been trying. And, yeah, in the start, it was a debate for me, an inner debate of do I stay or do I go? Because of just the trauma I've been through in my life. You know, being those seven and just mothering and parenting is just. I like my time being my time. I like having my freedom. And I. I mean, I still kind of have that. It was a. It was a real adjustment in the beginning last fall.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I bet. I bet.
Producer
I think one way to get a little bit of time back is he's 15. He can do his own laundry. Let's get that off your plate.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't need to be cleaning. Cleaning semen out of socks. That's. That's.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Below your pay grade.
Producer
Okay. Beth, will you check in with us and let us know how it goes?
Caller
Yes, definitely. Thank you. I just want to say thank you so much. And, Chelsea, I look up to you so much and value your authenticity. Like, I just. I really am so grateful for this opportunity. And I just. I. Yeah, I just. You're an inspiration to me. So thank you for.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I love it. Thank you so much. Thank you.
Caller
You as well.
Bye, Beth.
Producer
All right, well, let's take a quick break, and we can come back with our caller.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Okay, we'll take a quick break. We'll be right back. Please tag me for the special because I get so many tags about my books, but I'm not getting as many about my special. And my special is the newest thing out, so I want to make sure all my ardent fans are watching it and tagging me. And I'll repost you. And yes, it's called the feeling there's.
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Hi Zoe Saldana, welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
There's always a trade in.
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
I feel like I have to give you something in return for karma. That's okay, I don't really have much in my purse. Oh, let's see. Hand sanitizer. It's lavender.
Ad Voice
I'm good.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Seriously. Let me check this pocket.
Producer
Oh mints.
Ad Voice
Really, I'm fine.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh, I have raisins.
Caller
I'm a mom.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car.
Catherine
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Caller
You know What?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, Wendy McClendon Covey yes, well our.
Producer
Last caller today is Alexandra. She is 32. She says, Dear Chelsea, I am in a very awkward situation with my neighbor. Me and my neighbor became friends this past year over our dogs becoming friends.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
We started so annoying.
Producer
We started going on dog walks together and hanging out, occasionally having drinks and things like that. We never had any issues until she slept with my best friend Jack. When I found out they were texting I told them both they shouldn't sleep with each other because it's going to make things very weird between all of us and boy did it. Essentially they ended up sleeping together, both agreeing that it was a one night stand and after he didn't message her because it was a one night stand, she started acting really weird. She started to take her feelings out on me on our dog walks even though I asked not to be involved. Two times she asked me if I wanted to go for a walk and the walk was perfectly fine until out of nowhere she corners me and says things like I feel like I'm just your dog walking friend and we never hang out together on the weekends. She started to get really possessive over me to the point where I had some friends over for my birthday with my friend Jack included and she got really weird because she wasn't invited. I decided that I Needed to tell her she can't treat me like shit like this before we go out. So I replied to a text with the following. I wanted to say this before we go out to walk again. Since you and Jackson slept together, you've taken some of your feelings out on me, and I don't want another awkward walk. Us being dog friends was never a problem before you guys slept together, and I don't feel like I should have to explain myself for having close friends over for a party.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Good for you. Nice.
Producer
Yeah, I'm cool if you are. I never got a response. And this was a little while ago. I feel we're both actively avoiding each other. Chelsea. What do I do? Our windows literally face each other. Alexandra.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Well, hi. Hi, Alexandra. Well, good text, by the way. Good text. I mean, I don't know. You know, she has to get over that. I don't know that there's anything you can do other than, like, time will pass, but it's gonna be a problem because Jack is your best friend, so he's going to be resurfacing. Right?
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. It's obviously a little bit of time has passed now, but we've bumped into each other and like, not said a word because I'm like, I'm not gonna back down. And she probably feels the same. And yeah, they. I don't think they've spoken to each other either.
Caller
They probably.
Chelsea Handler
I think they said hi in passing, but I've just been like, no, like, you can't just ghost me like that. Yeah, I feel like it's really a strange behavior, but I'm also not backing down.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Well, but also who, I mean, like, really, who gives a shit about her? And you know what I mean? And your dog, like, like your dog has kid. You can go for a walk without her. You know, you don't. It's not like a relationship that is built like you have this deep, deep friendship, like you were dog walking buddies. So until she can actually get her shit together and get over it, it was a one night stand. And that. Take that at face value. People say all the time they're fine with that and then they're not fine with it. And it's so annoying. It's like you. You knew what this was, so I wouldn't worry about extending an olive branch or anything. You know, after like a few months go by, you can, like, if you want to drop a bottle of wine at our front door and be like, are you ready to start walking our dogs again or do you need more time? You know, What? I mean, like, you could do something cute like that if you want to, but it sounds like you don't want to. And by the way, who cares? Like, yes, your windows face each other, but, you know, this is why you don't become friends with your neighbors.
Caller
Oh, my God.
Chelsea Handler
I definitely learned my lesson. We had some new neighbors move in a couple days ago, and I was just like, hello. And just let me also. And yeah, you're so right. I don't really. I've really stopped caring about being friends. I think in the beginning it was just really weird because our windows literally face each other, and, like, her front door is right there, and I'll see her leave, and she'll see me leave, and it's just like, yeah, I don't care, but our dogs will just be like, oh, my God, you again. And, like, my friend, like. And then I'm just like, no, you can't be friends anymore. This friendship's over.
Caller
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
And we, like, bumped into each other out on a dog walk, and, like, nobody else was there. It was really weird. It was like 6 in the morning, and, like, our dogs were, like, playing with each other, and we just didn't say a word to each other. I was just like, this is so weird. But yeah, I don't really want to be her friend, if I'm honest with you, because clearly her friendships, you have to have, like, terms and conditions. And I'm not really down for that.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Exactly. And it's annoying. Right, Wendy, don't you agree? Like, who?
Caller
I mean, it's hard when the dog children get involved. I know, but the only thing you can do, the only sane thing to do, is ignore the whole situation.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah.
Caller
She's an adult who made an adult decision, and this does not have to fall on your shoulders.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
She's an adult who made an adult decision and then acted like is acting like a child.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
So. And you didn't do anything wrong except for warn them not to do it because of this outcome. And now you're sitting here, you didn't do anything to her?
Caller
No.
Chelsea Handler
And I even tried, like, before they. When they were talking about sleeping with each other, I had her around and I did, like, the whole girl code thing. And I was just like, I'm gonna look after you here, and I'm gonna tell you not to do it or please not to do it because, like. And try to say in a nice way, like, he is my best friend. And it wasn't like, you're not. But also, like, it's. It just is gonna get weird. And it's like, oh, but isn't a little bit of fun? Okay? And I'm just like. And I knew he just wanted a one night stand anyway, and he made it perfectly clear. And then I just had a feeling something crazy was gonna happen.
Producer
And then they did it anyway.
Chelsea Handler
And I was just like, look, I warned you. And I tried to be like the good girlfriend, and you didn't listen. And now you're just being really strange. So, yeah, I feel like you don't.
Producer
Have to be friends with her, but just to, like, you know, you've said to her, hey, we're cool, and I would just act as such. Like, you are gonna run into her when you do, like, hey, so and so. And like.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
And if she's weird and she's weird, that's on her.
Caller
Like, exactly.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
You don't have to ingest that. You know what I mean? You be. You. You do your thing. Be put. You don't have to be silent when you see her. You can say, how are you? What? Or, did you read this? Or, I don't know, whatever you guys would normally talk about or talk about something related to the dogs. But, like, if she's acting strange, then that's on her. You haven't done anything.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caller
And you warned her.
Chelsea Handler
I did.
Producer
You warned her.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
I'm so sorry. I did.
Caller
You are absolved from any responsibility.
Chelsea Handler
That's, I think, why I'm more mad than, like, sad. I just got really angry because I was just like, I tried to do the right thing by you, and really, I really didn't need to. Clearly didn't need to, like, try and look after you.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
So thanks. Okay, well, problem solved. Thank you. You need to move.
Chelsea Handler
I keep hoping she will.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, I hope she does too.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I'm sure will.
Producer
All right, thanks for calling and Alexandra.
Chelsea Handler
Thank you so much.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Thank you. Bye.
Caller
Bye.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
My, that. This reminds me of an expression from, like, one of my second grade teachers who used to say a word to the wise. What did she say? A word to the wise should be sufficient. That reminded me, this story is like, don't talk to your neighbors. You know, you could be neighborly, you could be neighborly, but don't get involved. Involved with them.
Caller
Well, since. Since I'm in New Orleans, I do have a folk magic cure for. For sketchy neighbors.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
What is it?
Caller
And that is you focus a mirror at their house and all their bad energy gets reflected back to them.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Oh. Ooh.
Caller
So, you know, depends on how bad they are, how sketchy they really are the, you know, whatever happens as a result. But we did that with some of our neighbors, and they moved.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Well, great, Wendy. Way to wait for the guests to be off of the show to tell us that. Especially when they have two windows fucking facing each other.
Caller
Well, she's gonna listen to this podcast.
Producer
Catherine would email her that and tell.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Her to put a window reflecting. Because it's there.
Caller
It doesn't have to be a big one.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah, exactly. And then that's a great. That's great. I would actually try that.
Caller
Try it.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Yeah.
Caller
You know, what's the worst that can happen?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Okay, Wendy, thank you so much for being on the podcast today.
Caller
Thank you for having me.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
And when does this St. Denis Medical season two start, do you know?
Caller
We start back at work in June, but I'm assuming the fall we will be back on NBC. So.
Producer
Awesome.
Caller
Yeah.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
And is it Peacock or is it NBC?
Caller
It's NBC the first run and then the next day on Peacock.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Okay, so Everybody can watch St. Denis Medical on NBC or Peacock.
Caller
You can catch up on Peacock and.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
You can catch up on Peacock. Watch it first and then catch up on it later.
Caller
Exactly.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Thank you so much for being here, love. Thanks for having me speaking with you. All right, have a great day in New Orleans.
Caller
Thank you. You have a good one as well. Talk to you soon.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Bye. Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming, and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July 5th will be the next date that I'm there. July 5th, August 30th, and then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th, I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo, performing inside myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you.
Producer
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earchelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
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Catherine
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Wendy McLendon-Covey
This is Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas.
Catherine
And I'm Matt Rogers and we're the.
Caller
Host of Las Culturistas.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
It's Pride Month and you know what that means.
Catherine
Friendship parties?
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Dancing. Correct. And do you know what the perfect thing to bring to any Pride event is? But when we talked about this, I'm not a thing. Oh, not you. I met Casamigos.
Caller
Okay, Chic and honestly, the only other.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
Correct answer Casamigos Marguerite during Pride. Now that's a sleigh. Ah, Casamigos. Anything is a sleigh because anything goes with my Casamigos.
Catherine
Anything goes with my Casamigos. Bo, you're a poet.
Wendy McLendon-Covey
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Podcast Summary: Dear Chelsea – Episode: "Folk Magic with Wendi McLendon-Covey"
Release Date: June 12, 2025
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Guest: Wendi McLendon-Covey
Introduction
In this engaging episode of Dear Chelsea, host Chelsea Handler is joined by the talented actress and comedian Wendi McLendon-Covey. Together with co-host Catherine Law and celebrity guests, they delve into personal anecdotes, relationship dynamics, and offer heartfelt advice to listeners seeking guidance on various life challenges.
Guest Introduction and Personal Anecdotes
Timestamp: 02:34 - 06:00
Chelsea warmly welcomes Wendi McLendon-Covey, known for her roles in Reno 911! and Bridesmaids. The conversation kicks off with light-hearted banter about Wendi's personal life, including her friendship with fellow comedian David Alan Grier. Wendi shares a humorous anecdote about her introduction to skiing, highlighting Grier's attempts to persuade her to hit the slopes without proper gear:
Wendi McLendon-Covey [04:14]: "He tried to convince me to go skiing without any proper ski clothes. We ended up skiing until he started complaining about the cold, and that's when I discovered that skiing alone could actually be pleasurable."
Balancing Personal Life and Career
Timestamp: 06:00 - 14:00
Wendi opens up about her life in Majorca and her deep affection for New Orleans, emphasizing how these places resonate with her childhood memories and provide her with a tranquil escape:
Wendi McLendon-Covey [11:10]: "When I found my house in Mallorca, it was dilapidated and abandoned, but the view reminded me so much of my childhood. It's a place where I can get lost in the scenery and just be happy."
She also discusses her decision to remain childfree, offering insights into her personal choice and addressing societal expectations:
Wendi McLendon-Covey [14:44]: "Every day I pat myself on the back for sticking to my guns. Choosing not to have children is selfish only if you're not fully committed to it."
Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth
Timestamp: 15:00 - 24:00
The conversation shifts to relationships, with Wendi and Catherine reflecting on the importance of mutual respect and understanding. Wendi shares her admiration for a caller's long-term marriage, highlighting effective communication strategies:
Caller [19:31]: "Before I say anything critical of him, I look at myself and find out that I'm not so delightful either. So I try not to criticize him before I see what I'm doing wrong."
Wendi emphasizes the significance of mutual support and celebrating each other's strengths in a successful relationship.
Advice Segment: Stepmom Challenges
Timestamp: 30:50 - 47:00
The first caller, Beth, seeks advice on managing frustrations as a stepmom to her partner's teenage son. Wendi provides compassionate and practical advice, focusing on understanding teenage behavior and the importance of therapy:
Wendi McLendon-Covey [41:18]: "You're doing a great job by not losing your temper and being available when he needs you. Being a tree with firmly planted roots allows you to weather the storms."
She suggests that therapy should be initiated by the father to ensure the teenage son receives the necessary support without placing undue burden on Beth.
Advice Segment: Navigating Awkward Neighbor Situations
Timestamp: 52:31 - 61:17
Another caller, Alexandra, shares her awkward experience with a neighbor who became possessive after Alexandra's friend slept with her neighbor. Wendi advises setting healthy boundaries and not allowing the neighbor's behavior to affect her:
Wendi McLendon-Covey [54:31]: "Ignore the whole situation. She's an adult who made an adult decision and then acted like a child. Focus on maintaining your peace."
Chelsea and Wendi humorously discuss the complexities of neighborly relationships, reinforcing the importance of prioritizing one's well-being over maintaining awkward friendships.
Closing Remarks and Upcoming Events
Timestamp: 61:14 - End
Wendi promotes her upcoming performances, encouraging listeners to attend her shows in Las Vegas. She emphasizes the importance of self-care and maintaining personal boundaries in all relationships.
Notable Quotes
Wendi McLendon-Covey [04:14]: "He tried to convince me to go skiing without any proper ski clothes. We ended up skiing until he started complaining about the cold, and that's when I discovered that skiing alone could actually be pleasurable."
Wendi McLendon-Covey [14:44]: "Every day I pat myself on the back for sticking to my guns. Choosing not to have children is selfish only if you're not fully committed to it."
Wendi McLendon-Covey [41:18]: "You're doing a great job by not losing your temper and being available when he needs you. Being a tree with firmly planted roots allows you to weather the storms."
Conclusion
This episode of Dear Chelsea offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful advice. Wendi McLendon-Covey's candid discussions provide listeners with relatable experiences and practical solutions to their personal dilemmas. Whether navigating stepfamily dynamics or managing neighborly tensions, the conversation underscores the importance of self-awareness, effective communication, and maintaining personal boundaries.
For more episodes and personalized advice from Chelsea Handler, visit DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com.