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- [00:00]
Chelsea Handler
This is an I Heart podcast.
- [00:04]
Sophia Bush
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- [01:54]
Katherine
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- [02:27]
Chelsea Handler
Oh hello Chelsea.
- [02:28]
Sophia Bush
Hi. I'm fresh off the boat. Fresh off the boat from Greece.
- [02:32]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, you're even wearing a flowy.
- [02:34]
Sophia Bush
White shirt like I'm headed back to Europe. As soon as we get we're done with this. I'm going back. No, we actually did take a boat to Greece. We took a ferry boat from Athens to Paros, which was like three and a half hours.
- [02:47]
Chelsea Handler
Wow.
- [02:48]
Sophia Bush
Yeah. So. And then I took the flight back. I took a flight from Paros to Athens. And so I can't decide which one was more unpleasant, the flight or the boat.
- [02:58]
Chelsea Handler
Was the flight bumpy?
- [02:59]
Sophia Bush
No, it was just the airport. You know when they're those little, small, tiny airports and there's like a line and it takes, like, an hour to check in, and there's nobody really there. It was just one of those. It was fine. We got there safely. I think that's probably the most important thing, but I'm not positive. I'm not positive that's the most important thing, but I think it might be the most important thing. I announced three dates. I'm doing three more standup dates to close out the year because I decided that I wanted to spread a little bit more of joy and sunshine around this country since, you know, things are in such a good place.
- [03:32]
Chelsea Handler
We need a little escapism.
- [03:34]
Sophia Bush
Yes. So aside from my Vegas residency, my next date is July 5th. I'll be in Vegas, everybody. So hopefully you'll be joining me there. I'm gonna do West Hampton Beach, New York, on August 21st. Then I'm gonna headline the Fringe Festival in Rochester, New York, on September 3rd. And then I'm gonna be in Napa, California, on October 3rd. So I'm just adding those three dates. It's not. It's not like a tour. I'm just doing some standup to round out the year. So I hope you get your tickets@chelseahandler.com.
- [04:01]
Chelsea Handler
And it's fresh material, right?
- [04:03]
Sophia Bush
It's all new material. It's all. A lot of LSD in there. Lot of stuff that we've touched upon on the show, and a lot of me smuggling LSD from country to country. Basically. I've just started leaving stashes in different countries that I visit so that I don't have to keep continue traveling with it, now that I'm talking about it so publicly on stage. I mean, I've always talked about it publicly, but on stage specifically, I'm like, okay, I better stop talking about it. And also continuing to carry it with me.
- [04:33]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, traveling with it is not. That's not the move.
- [04:36]
Sophia Bush
That's probably not the best idea.
- [04:38]
Chelsea Handler
It's just gonna be there waiting for you when you get there. That's perfect.
- [04:40]
Sophia Bush
Yes, yes, yes. So I'm assuming that at some point I'll be on some sort of list that will prevent me from returning to my homeland. I'm just making that assumption. But I've been to so many countries already and it's only June. I'm so excited. But I'm getting surgery when I get back on July 7th. I'm getting foot surgery on my little bunionette. I'm calling it a bunionette because it makes it sound cuter.
- [05:02]
Chelsea Handler
It's much cuter. Did your ear. Little toe spacers didn't do the trick?
- [05:05]
Sophia Bush
No, the toe spacers probably would work if you're like 20 and you're really trying to nip it in the bud. I bet those are helpful. But I'm 50 and mine isn't on the inside of my foot. It's on the outside of my foot. I think it's related to my knee injury. Cause I lean a certain way on one leg, so I just can't look at it like that. I have to remove. And it's apparently a little bit of a hectic recovery. But we'll see. We'll see. I like recoveries.
- [05:33]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, you get to like, take a bunch of fun drugs and like, chill at home.
- [05:36]
Sophia Bush
Yeah, exactly.
- [05:37]
Chelsea Handler
Unless I'm making you work. Cause I'm like, oh, do you want to just schedule a bunch of podcasts.
- [05:40]
Sophia Bush
While you're well, ideally that would be me walking downstairs, but apparently my house will not be ready. For the 50th time in my life, my house is not ready for move in. I just got that news. It did not go over well. But we are in the home stretch I'm being told for.
- [05:54]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, I'm very happy to hear that for you.
- [05:57]
Sophia Bush
Me too. I'm sorry, Chels. It's really tough to be displaced for that long, and the gross incompetence of it all is just mind boggling. I know. It's unreal. I can't believe it. I mean, I can't believe I'm even still talking about it. It's just absolutely absurd. My family's like, why don't you talk to a therapist? I'm like, about my house. You want me to talk to a therapist about my house? I did, actually. A year ago. I had a conversation. Should I have the same fucking conversation I had one year ago? For some reason, I'm so resentful every time something happens with a house. I'm so angry towards my family. Like, I'm like, I'm always the one who's getting everybody out of bad situations, yet here I am. And no one's getting me out of this situation. I keep waiting for someone to come and rescue me, but no one's rescuing me.
- [06:48]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, if anyone out there has advice on how to get RFK juju out of a home. Have you tried a priest, an exorcism?
- [06:56]
Sophia Bush
I haven't tried an exorcism, but I did have a healer and like a house cleanser come by and that obviously didn't take. And I'm now in a lawsuit with my prior contractor. So it just. The hits keep on coming. But listen, you know what? It's just a house and I have other homes and obviously I don't. I don't. Whatever. I can't complain about my life, so I won't continue to.
- [07:16]
Chelsea Handler
Yes, well, you know what? Pretty soon you'll be out of the country anyway and you'll have to be in Canada or Spain, so it'll, you know, it'll all just come out in the wash.
- [07:23]
Sophia Bush
Right? Yeah. I'm heading out here from. As soon as we get off today. I'm going up to Boston. I'm going to record Mel Robbins podcast tomorrow morning.
- [07:31]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, nice.
- [07:31]
Sophia Bush
Nice, huh? And they gave me instructions, specific instructions not to arrive early because there's no waiting room. I was like, well, that's delightful. Thank you for that warm, warm welcome.
- [07:44]
Chelsea Handler
That's the worst thing they can say to a person who's always early.
- [07:47]
Sophia Bush
God. Yeah, I know exactly. Who's our guest this week?
- [07:52]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, our guest this week is your buddy, Sophia Bush.
- [07:57]
Sophia Bush
Oh, Bush. She's a Bush lover. Sophia Bush lover is our guest this week? I was gonna say this weekend. I'm already in Glastonbury in my head. Yeah. Sophia Bush. Oh, this is a great interview. I'm excited.
- [08:10]
Chelsea Handler
Yes. And her new movie, the Stranger in My Home is out now on video on demand.
- [08:15]
Sophia Bush
Love it.
- [08:16]
Hi, guys. Oh.
- [08:18]
Oh, da baby is here. Da baby. Hi, baby, baby, baby. Hi, baby Back ribs. How are you?
- [08:26]
I'm good. What are you doing?
- [08:27]
Oh, you know, just getting ready to talk to you. I've been seeing a lot of you actually. We've been seeing a lot of each other.
- [08:35]
Yes. Well, not as much as I would like, but it has been fun to do so well.
- [08:39]
It's never enough. It's never enough. Congrats on your interview with Michelle Obama on Sophia's podcast, Work in progress. She did a two part episode with Michelle Obama that was all over the place. And that was a fucking great interview.
- [08:53]
Thank you. I had so much fun. It's like hanging with her for that section of time, you know, felt a lot like when we all get together, like, it's crazy to, you know, look up to someone like her for so long and to watch the way she navigates the global stage and then to, like, hang out and wish you had a cocktail to shoot the shit. I was like, God, the world must forget that you're also just this wonderful human. You don't always have to be, like, a leader or a figurehead. She's funny and sassy and has such great advice about life and love and parenting and all the things. And it was really cool.
- [09:33]
Yeah. I mean, I think she does. It's so annoying when everybody always like, you know, I'm in Canada. Everyone's like, why can't Michelle Obama run? I'm like, michelle Obama doesn't want to be the fucking President of the United States. She didn't want anything to do with it. The first, like, as if it's her responsibility to run. And I always just think about how annoying that must be for her to constantly hear that, as if it's that simple, you know, as if she's just supposed to give away the next eight years of her life.
- [09:59]
Yeah. I think people don't understand what a service is required to be in public office. Like, any sort of real political organizing takes so much work, and you certainly can become a target for things. You have to give up a lot of things when you run for office. It's like, it's not a one plus one equals two situation. It's like to the power of 50, everything is amplified and enlarged, and at the same time, your life really shrinks. And I think people. I don't know, probably because the Internet's full of trolls who say shitty things that travel very far, but people are like, oh, yeah, you know, they're doing it for the money or the exposure. And I'm like, they don't make any money. And they literally can't go outside. Like. Like, she can't go for a walk anymore without guards. So everybody take it. Just relax.
- [10:53]
Yeah, she seems like she's really kind of, you know, since she left office, also really letting her hair down and being more of herself to. To the public and.
- [11:02]
Yeah.
- [11:03]
Which is really, you know, she doesn't have to do that either. She doesn't have to, like, bother with the public. She doesn't have to do anything. But when. I mean, that's just how devoted they are to public service is that they all are over, you know, they're always involved.
- [11:15]
I think so. And I really think it's also something when you have to bite your tongue for so long, when you have to put your, you know, sort of professionalism or decorum first. I think, yes, decorum is something we should aspire to have, especially in public life. I think they are people of incredible class and integrity. And I think eventually it gets really tiresome to always have to be quiet or be perfect or whatever. And she's kind of like, guys, I'm also just a lady, and I'm going to have cocktails with my girlfriends. I want to go play tennis. My kids are out of the house. I'm going to go visit them, and then I'm going to enjoy my life. Like, this is my time. And I think. I know that's such an exciting example for me to see among my friends. Imagine the power that a former first lady has to do that, let alone one with, like, Princeton and Harvard degrees who. I mean, she's just, like, the coolest person.
- [12:12]
Yeah, she really is the coolest person. Let's talk about your cool person. Tell me how that feels to be a hot. Considered a hot lesbian.
- [12:18]
Quite an honor. I mean, you know, what's funny is you do this weird math, like, if you're dating. If you're a woman dating men, nobody wants to talk to you about your sexuality. They just want to either say, like, you're a prude or a slut. You know, if you date too much, they criticize you. If you don't date, you must be frigid, whatever. And then the thing that gets added when you're actually more fluid with your sexuality is the swing goes from nobody gives a shit who you're sleeping with to, you better identify exactly who you are so we can figure out what name to call you. And it's like, okay. And, you know, I sort of looked around and was like, has nobody been paying attention to, like, all the hot girls I've been kissing on camera? And, like, you know, maybe not in front of you off camera, but, hi, I've always been here, right?
- [13:06]
But let's talk about that a little, because that's this. That seems to be the kind of calculus or the consensus now that we have some retrospection of the election and people are talking about the identity politics of the left. And I know you talk a lot. We both talk a lot politically, together and without each other. What is your view on that of us focusing so much? Because my view is when we say, oh, you guys focused too much on the trans issue. You guys were too inclusive. It didn't have to be that big of an issue. And it was like, well, but trans people were starting to. To have problems with other people, and there were lawsuits, and somebody has to get on the side of that, like, on the right side of things. So it wasn't like liberals were like, oh, my God, what's another issue we can tackle that's gonna be really exclusionary to white supremacy? Oh, trans people. We'll go be with them. That's not how it happened. But how do you think about when you reflect about that issue and LGBTQ rights issues and the left being too focused on that in many people's opinions?
- [14:10]
I think it's all just such bullshit, Chelsea. Honestly, it's like, what do you mean we're too focused on being nice to people? What the fuck are you talking about? And we're not too focused to be clear. The Trump campaign spent something like it was either 27 million or $57 million on those ads that were like, she's for they them, and I'm for you. Like, ew, you fucking creepy sexual predator. Stop talking about people's genitalia. They have outsized an issue in a way that makes me so sad. You know, just this week, they're ranting on Fox News about, like, oh, you know, all the athletes are trans. And it's like, there are less than 10 trans athletes out of 510,000 athletes in the NCAA. Leave these people alone. Like, to be the smallest and most vulnerable group in the world and to constantly have people project all their shit and fear and anger at you, it's not only traumatizing for people, it's so dangerous. And when you start seeing these rollbacks of protections, you know, homosexuality being criminalized in Trinidad and Tobago this year, when you see right wingers literally trying to encourage the Supreme Court to overturn marriage equality. Like, let me be clear. I've tried that with some dudes who turned out not to be great. I deserve to try to just. To be just as miserable with any fucking woman of my choosing as I in my past. Like, what, you think the lesbians don't deserve to be as unhappy as you all? Like, shut up. And it's, you know, joking aside, it's like, a right. Doesn't matter if it's not a right for everyone, because then you're not concerned with freedom. This is something Tim Walls says a lot. He goes, you know, you can't say you're concerned with freedom and then try to deny freedoms for people. Then what you really want is privilege. And, like, for what? And I don't know why the right has been able to so effectively weaponize the idea that equality is somehow an attack. Like, it's not. Guys, I hate to tell you, you MAGA folks, nobody's thinking about you that much. We're all just trying to, like, raise our kids and pay our bills and do our shit. I don't care whose marriage makes you uncomfortable. Don't be in a marriage that makes you uncomfortable and move along with your day. Same for people's health care. Same for how people live. Like, maybe if you stop running around with baseball bats attacking people and tiki torches and beating up cops, like, you could just live peacefully in whatever weird way you want to live. Like, we're living well and kindly. Like, back off. I just don't. I don't want to fall into the trap that we're supposed to abandon people, to somehow seem more neutral. Like, neutrality never got anybody anywhere.
- [17:08]
That's true. How do you feel about everything? Like, what's your state of mind right now, politically?
- [17:15]
I. Oh, man, I think things are very bad, and I think they're moving in such a terrible direction at such speed that in a way, a lot of people are looking around going, look, I know it's a lot of noise, but nothing's really happening. And I'm like, you don't get where you're gonna be in 18 months. Like, if. If as retribution because Gavin Newsom won't kiss the ring, Donald Trump clear cuts all of California's forests. Like, do you understand what that's gonna do? Not just to California, to the nation. You know, this guy wanted to crash the stock market so his friends could make hundreds of billions of dollars. And he said so in the Oval Office and bragged about it and, you know, pointed out how many billions they all made when he went jk. No tariffs. It's like, I just wanna know honestly how Martha Stewart feels about it. I'm like, bitch, you went to prison for so much less. Like, how are you doing in be? Are you mad? Are you getting stoned? Are you laughing? Like, what is going on here? It's so crazy. And what's coming, The RFK at HHS and the dismantling of lead protection teams at the cdc. And, I mean, it's about to get so bad.
- [18:33]
And what would be the motivation for them poisoning people? Because that's effectively what they're doing by dismantling these agencies. Like, people are gonna get sick and die. What would be the advantage? What would their M.O. be going into that.
- [18:48]
They want everybody to get sick and die, Chelsea. And I know that might sound crazy, but you're not trying to defund Medicare if you don't want people to die because dead people are less expensive to take care of. They don't care. These are people who have, you know, the $50,000 a year concierge doctor who flies to them. These are people who have now the whole white apparatus serving as their own personal dispensary. I don't know if you saw that Reuters article about how during the last Trump administration, they were handing out like, I mean, amphetamines, opioids. Like they were just prescribing shit to people who worked in the White House. Like, willy nilly. They're gonna get what they need. Just like any mistress of Donald Trump who's ever been pregnant, that he's wanted to have an abortion has had one. Allegedly. You know, Allegedly. Allegedly. I'm like, I'm not about to get sued for calling an adjudicated rapist a rapist. Like, what a ridiculous man he is and clearly a tyrant. But they're going to get what they need. They just don't care. They don't care if your, you know, elderly grandparent doesn't get their Social Security check, because if they did, they wouldn't be. Supposedly. This hit the news last week, moving all the comms for Social Security onto Twitter. Like, what, what 80 year olds know how to use x dot com. Like, the shock and awe is the goal. And you see it in the way that they behave in what they're doing and in how they talk about people. Right? Like, you see the way Donald Trump loves Putin, he loves dictators. He says, you know, oh, yeah, the dictator of North Korea. His people all really bow to him. They really respect him. I want that. And then you've got JD Vance using absolutely derogatory language, not only to insult our allies in Europe and on the base in Greenland, but talking about China and saying, quote, these Chinese peasants. And he says the word, it's like dripping with judgment. They want to create a peasant class and an oligarchy in America so that we can't ever get out from under it. Like, they love this shit. They're horny for oligarchs and kleptocrats. Like, they want to be that. And it's interesting now that you sort of see a lot of people go, whoa, I thought maybe the federal government was too big, maybe it wasn't efficient. But I didn't realize what they did. I didn't realize what their programs ran. I didn't realize how much of my life they took care of. And it's like, well, yeah, you didn't realize it because Mitch McConnell made it his mission over 40 years ago to defund education in America because they started to see that uneducated people vote for them. And that's it. And I don't say that to judge people. Like, it's hard to get a good education because they've made it hard. They make having an intellect seem like it's elitist. And it's like, that's the whole reason my great grandparents came here for a better life. And to be like, we want to pursue the American education system. We want to give that to our children. Like, my family built a great big beautiful American dream life for that. So when you start to really peel the layers back and I think, see that these folks have tried to tarnish everything that actually makes America. Any word you want to fill in the blank. Great, exceptional, special, something worth fighting for. They want to, like, break it down and sell it for parts. And once you start to look at these guys like a bunch of used car salesmen, I think it gets easier to understand why they behave the way they behave and also why their suits are so bad.
- [22:28]
The suits are the worst. There is nothing grosser than seeing him in a suit. Honestly. All of them. All of them. They're also physically part of the. Part of the stipulation of being a member of that administration is being physically repugnant.
- [22:43]
Yeah.
- [22:44]
That is a number one.
- [22:45]
Chelsea Handler
Isn't it funny how like, all the bad guys look disgusting? Like bad guys, like in a cartoon.
- [22:50]
Sophia Bush
Yeah, like villains.
- [22:51]
Chelsea Handler
Yes.
- [22:51]
Sophia Bush
Well, because what you are on the inside starts to come out. It's like Mitch McConnell's neck has been trying to swallow his head for the last 20 years. Even his body is like, we gotta go.
- [23:01]
His brain is gone. It's. His head is unfortunately still there, sadly.
- [23:05]
But it's like, you know, I wonder what it must be like. Maybe they like it. Maybe it's the same kind of thing that they get off on a little bit. That they're a group of people that when they walk in the room, all the women cover their drinks. Like just instinctively, you're like, oh, oh, the roofie patrol is here. And it's like, this is our best and brightest. Really? Just cause people couldn't vote for the lady. Just cause they were like, oh, my God, if gay people aren't getting assaulted or trans people aren't hiding, do I have any power like what? That's your metric. Come on.
- [23:38]
Okay, on that note, we're gonna take a break and we're gonna be right back with Sophia Bush.
- [23:44]
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- [24:44]
Hi, Zoe Saldana. Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.
- [24:48]
Sophia Bush
Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.
- [24:51]
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You don't need a trade in. When you switch to T mobile will give you a new iPhone 16 Pro plus we'll help you pay off your old Phone up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it.
- [25:00]
Sophia Bush
There's always a trade in.
- [25:01]
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Not right now. At T mobile.
- [25:02]
Sophia Bush
I feel like I have to give.
- [25:03]
You something in return for karma.
- [25:04]
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That's okay.
- [25:06]
Sophia Bush
I don't really have much in my purse.
- [25:07]
Oh, let's see.
- [25:08]
Hand sanitizer. It's lavender.
- [25:10]
Ad
I'm good.
- [25:11]
Sophia Bush
Seriously? Hmm. Let me check this pocket.
- [25:13]
Oh, mints.
- [25:14]
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Really, I'm fine.
- [25:15]
Sophia Bush
Oh, I have raisins.
- [25:16]
I'm a mom. Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car.
- [25:20]
Katherine
It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile, get a new iPhone. 16 Pro with Apple intelligence on us, no trade in needed. We'll even pay off your Phone up to 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits.
- [25:32]
Sophia Bush
New line, 100 plus a month on.
- [25:33]
Katherine
Experience beyond Finance Agreement 999.99 and qualifying.
- [25:36]
Sophia Bush
Ported for well qualified plus tax and 10 connection charge. Payout via virtual prepaid card.
- [25:40]
Katherine
Allow 15 days credits and imbalance due.
- [25:42]
Sophia Bush
If you pay off earlier.
- [25:43]
Katherine
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- [26:16]
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- [26:47]
Chelsea Handler
And.
- [26:47]
Sophia Bush
We'Re back with Sophia Bush, who has the wonderful podcast A Work in Progress. And she also has a film coming out called the Stranger in My Home, which is an adaptation of an Adele Parks novel. Okay, Sofia, we're give advice. We have callers calling in.
- [27:02]
Oh I love this.
- [27:03]
Katherine, what are we focusing on today? What is our topic?
- [27:07]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, we have so many things. You know what? We're actually going to start with a caller. So Lauren is 36 and she says, how do I get on the friends with benefits to wifey pipeline? Dear Chelsea, I've been in a casual friends with benefits type relationship for a year and a half. It's worked out great for both of us, especially since I'm a solo parent to my young daughter and he's a workaholic. His dick is better than anyone else's. He's sweeter and more considerate than anyone I've dated, maybe ever, and I care for him deeply. Here's where I need the advice. For the last few months, I've been having feelings of wanting more from him. I want him to stay longer, to come over more often. I want us to be more official. Essentially, I want him to make an honest woman out of me, but I'm so scared to talk to him about it because I don't want to ruin what we have. When I think of these things, I usually end up reconciling with myself that this is the relationship I can handle Right now. But what do you think? Is it because his dick is so good that I want him to wife me up? Or is it a sign that I need to end things with him so I can pursue a quote unquote, serious relationship? Will it be worth sacrificing what I have already? Thanks so much, Lauren.
- [28:14]
Sophia Bush
Hi, Lauren. Hi there.
- [28:16]
Chelsea Handler
Thanks so much for taking my call.
- [28:19]
Sophia Bush
You're so welcome. This is our special guest. Sophia Bush is here today.
- [28:22]
Chelsea Handler
Wow. Amazing.
- [28:23]
Sophia Bush
We're here to assess your. The dick that's so great. I don't think I've ever, you know, I honestly, I'm just thinking, like, I don't think I've ever dated anyone where I thought the dick is so great. Like, it's usually an emotional relationship that makes you love the sex.
- [28:39]
Chelsea Handler
Yes, absolutely.
- [28:40]
Sophia Bush
But you're saying you just love the sex and then that's bringing you in emotionally.
- [28:45]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, both, really. It's. It's all. It's all good. It's been really great.
- [28:51]
Sophia Bush
And. So what's the vibe? You. He just. You. He only comes over. Do you guys ever spend time together that's not sexual?
- [28:57]
Chelsea Handler
We did in the beginning a little more, but our schedules are kind of crazy, and so we got into a bit of a routine of just. Just getting together at night and enjoying each other's company.
- [29:09]
Sophia Bush
And do you get the impression from him that that's all he wants?
- [29:13]
Chelsea Handler
It's a tough read. It's a real tough read because he doesn't talk too much about his feelings. And that's kind of worked for us, I think. So, yeah. It's really tough to read at the moment. And that's why I'm, like, a little scared about bringing it up, because I don't want to lose what we have.
- [29:35]
Sophia Bush
Well, that's how you can bring it. Just say, you know, hey, I like one night when you're not having sex or when you're done having sex or when just, you know, you can say, hey, I really enjoy spending time together. And I know this is kind of a sexual thing, but if you're ever interested in more than that, I'm down for that. And make it light, like, so that there's not a huge, like, repercussion if he doesn't feel the same way, that you can't continue to have sex unless you think. I mean, can. Do you think you can handle continuing to have sex if his answer is no? I hope so.
- [30:05]
Chelsea Handler
I really hope so.
- [30:06]
Sophia Bush
Yeah. Right. Sofia, don't you think you should just. You have to bridge the you have to say something at some point.
- [30:12]
Yeah. I mean, I think to Chelsea's point, at the end of the day, it's always a good idea to tell people how you feel. It can be really scary. I mean, especially when, you know, you're considering shifting a dynamic into perhaps a more serious one. Whether you're gonna tell a friend you have fallen for them, or, you know, you're gonna tell Mr. Dickmatized that you want more than just that. Like, I don't know, but I think it's. I think the advice of just sort of start there is good to say, this is great. Nothing's wrong. I'm having a great time with you. And if you're open to more than that, I am as well. Like, I don't know, maybe after you guys sleep together the next time, like, ask him if he wants a grilled cheese and, like, eat a snack. Talk to each other for 10 minutes and see what happens.
- [31:07]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. I did broach very delicately the idea of him meeting my daughter. We had dinner out one time, and, you know, I got the impression, like, you know, she's almost four, so she's kind of wild right now. And I don't know if it was, like, the vibe, but he was.
- [31:27]
Sophia Bush
Well, what did he. What was his response to that?
- [31:31]
Chelsea Handler
He's so caring and generous and, like, he just kind of went with the flow. And so that part of that reaction of his makes me think, like, he's kind of taking my lead, but at the same time, maybe he's like, this is too much for me, so.
- [31:47]
Sophia Bush
Well, you don't have to have him meet your daughter right away. That is a. That's a big jump from just, oh.
- [31:51]
Chelsea Handler
It wasn't right away.
- [31:52]
Sophia Bush
It wasn't right away, but. But, I mean, there's an in between there somewhere. So, like, the next time you bring it up, you can bring it up more lightly. And also, you should bring it up because you want that, like, you have to go after what you want. It's not just gonna, like, necessarily happen without you saying it and facilitating it. And also just to have, like, a conversation with yourself beforehand. Like, I know it's like, a little bit like, you know, we get nervous to say these things, but they're so important for us to express ourselves. It's very important. As a woman, just, like, think of your daughter. You know what I mean? Think of doing it for your daughter. Like, standing up for what you want, saying what you want. And if you don't get it, then, okay, fine, and then you can Continue having sex with him if that's what you want to do. But, yeah, just do it with a little sense of female empowerment. Like, yeah, I got this. I want this. I'm gonna ask for it.
- [32:39]
Yeah. And on the meeting the kid thing, if I may, I think there's also something. It's a big deal for somebody to meet your kid. You know, it signifies, I think, a. A certain level of a relationship. So if you want to go from the friends with benefits with him to see if you guys are compatible for a real relationship, work on building the relationship between you two as adults. And if that really does take off, then he can meet your kid. You know, your kid is the center of your world and the reward for him actually showing up as a partner. I agree with Chelsea. Like, I think skipping to that probably would feel a little overwhelming for someone, you know, center as she's advising you, like, center yourself. You deserve that.
- [33:27]
Chelsea Handler
Do you feel like this desire for something more serious is because of him or because maybe you're just, like, ready for a relationship that's a little more traditional?
- [33:38]
Yeah, that's part of what I think as well. It could be that. It could be, like, because my daughter's getting older, it could be, like, a little bit of a sign that I'm ready for something. But, you know, I tested the waters with other people and dating, like, more seriously, and he's still. He's kind of it. He's still it. That's why I want to try it out with him.
- [34:04]
Yeah, I think you should.
- [34:05]
Sophia Bush
Oh, yeah, you definitely should do it. Come up with a plan and do it and be, you know, be proud of yourself for, like. And push forward. Like, if you do this act regardless of the outcome, you just have to, like, try to detach from the outcome. I know what you want. You know what you want. You can say that, but it's a good exercise, period, you know, to start asserting yourself in that way.
- [34:27]
Chelsea Handler
That's excellent advice. That's totally what I need to hear. I was kind of hoping you guys would give me some, like, feminine wiles that I can tap into and convince him to. Yeah, to wife me up. But you're right.
- [34:39]
I think the feminine wilds come from the casual approach that Chelsea mentioned. Just like, hey, like, what do you feel about this? This sounds good to me, if that's where we want to take. You know, I think that is, like, a perfect way to do it, rather than being like, here are two choices. Do we do this, or is it over? You know, I think that Puts a little too fine a point on it.
- [34:55]
Absolutely. Yes.
- [34:57]
Sophia Bush
Okay, well, good luck. Report back. Okay. Let us know what happens, please.
- [35:00]
Chelsea Handler
Thank you so much. I will. Nice to meet you.
- [35:02]
Sophia Bush
Bye. Bye.
- [35:03]
Chelsea Handler
Bye.
- [35:04]
Sophia Bush
I want to get a dimple like Sophia. Why don't people try and get dimples when they get plastic surgery? Because you never see somebody just all of a sudden show up with a dimple. Like, that should be a good request for plastic surgery. You know, like, I would like a dimple on my left cheek or, like, ordering it up like a cap.
- [35:20]
Chelsea Handler
I do think there's a certain child actor that did do that. Oh, I don't want to name any.
- [35:26]
Sophia Bush
Names, but I'll have to bring that up with my next plastic surgery appointment.
- [35:30]
But I think a dimple is technically a deformity, but.
- [35:34]
Yeah, but it's so cute. Who cares?
- [35:35]
I mean, I like mine, but it's literally. I think it's like a. I think it's some sort of a situation where, like, your muscles don't completely grow together all the way and you just have, like, a hole in your face. So I don't know how they would make one for you.
- [35:51]
I'm sure they can make one for you. I'm sure they can come up with something.
- [35:56]
Yeah, if they can give you a whole new face, they can probably give you a tackle. You're right.
- [36:00]
Exactly right.
- [36:01]
Chelsea Handler
Our next question comes from Katie. This kind of goes with some of the political stuff that we have been talking about. So she says. Dear Chelsea, I have so much anger at the world. I have ADHD's justice sensitivity, which is a phrase I only learned a couple of years ago when I was first diagnosed. It explained a lot. My whole life, I've been jokingly prodded at for my anger. It often comes out in exaggerated and dramatic jokes where I'm known to be brutally honest, crass and passionate. It's been a blessing and a curse where I've been thanked throughout my life for speaking up and calling out wrongs. But then I've also been seen in my family as constantly angry about something. I know deep down, anger is grief. I've seen therapists before and I'm open to it again, but I can't help but shrug it off as futile, considering a therapist can't fix the selfishness and stupidity of most humans. The pandemic, the elections, the denial of climate change, and the weaponization of marginalized communities weighs on me daily. I'm finding that I'm growing so angry, I'm compartmentalizing just to operate My faith in humanity is wrecked. I can't look at people who I love as worthy of my love because I feel their integrity has reached unfathomable lows. And their support of a serial sex predator in the White House.
- [37:13]
Sophia Bush
House.
- [37:14]
Chelsea Handler
All in all, people love me, and I know that I have enough support to be happy. Overall, I don't want to change the fiery passion I have regarding the injustices of the world. And I thrive on bullying the bullies. It feels good, but rage is unhealthy. I need a shift in perspective. I've related to Chelsea my whole life for being honest and calling people out. So maybe you can help. Thank you. Katie.
- [37:35]
Sophia Bush
Hi, Katie.
- [37:36]
Katie
Hi, Katie.
- [37:38]
Sophia Bush
Hi. This is Sophia Bush, our special guest today.
- [37:41]
Katie
Nice to meet you. Thanks for having me on.
- [37:43]
Sophia Bush
I'm a fellow justice. Sensitivity girly. Thank you for that.
- [37:47]
Yeah, I think we can both relate to how you're feeling. Absolutely. I think a good word that you used is integrity in that email, and I think we should talk about that word because I think that when you have a lot of integrity and you see people that don't have it, we can be judgmental of that. We can be, like, dismissive of those people, but we don't know that they're not acting within their own integrity. To me, genuflecting to Donald Trump after he's become elected is lacking integrity. Supporting him from the beginning, that's a different set of rules, because that could be integrity or that could really be your belief system, and you believe you are acting with integrity. But the one thing I want you to hold on to is your integrity. And having integrity means being able to treat situations with respect, even when you don't respect them. And when you have high levels of anger like you're talking about, you've got to harness that rage and turn it into something positive and something that is loving. And in order to do that, you gotta figure out where your deep anger is coming from. Because it's not like when this happened in 2016, I was exactly what I was going off the rails. I was screaming at people, arguing with people. If I didn't agree with them politically, they were no longer my friends. I was freaking out. And I realized when I went to therapy that that anger was. That was just a place for me to put my anger. Like, that was an obvious place to store it. Now I had somewhere to direct it and a reason. But really what it was was a much deeper kind of delayed grief, delayed pain that I had never experienced from my childhood. Right. So you really wanna Find somebody, a therapist that's gonna be good. And it might not be the first one or the third one that you meet with. And I know that sounds exhausting, but, like, you're talking about your mental wellbeing and your mental health for the rest of your life. Because if you can invest some time into getting into, like, getting in with a good therapist, it's going to yield so many benefits for your life moving forward. When you. With all of these unpalatable situations that we're all dealing with and conversations, because it's much more meaningful to be able to disagree with somebody without becoming rageful. It's much more powerful to have an argument without losing your shit.
- [40:01]
Katie
Right, Right. And the rate, like, I'll put it this way, I stay articulate, I stay informed. I know what I'm talking about when I engage with people and I try to approach it with respect, but it's like we keep reaching new lows every week, every month, every day, it's just new lows where the justification for this kind of cult mentality is driving me absolutely insane, where I'm like, you believe one thing, you advocate for the Constitution, and then all of a sudden we're seeing that get bypassed and you're now justifying why it makes sense and why authoritarianism makes sense. And it's like I'm seeing just this degradation in moral values, in logic, where I like, yeah, like, I'm totally down for therapy. Like, that is something I've advocated for my whole life, but I just don't know, like, how to approach that from a sense of respect, because I start to lose respect for those people because they're now almost hypocritical in what they've always claimed to be their values. And that's where I'm having trouble, is reconciling, hey, this is who you say you are. This is who. How you represent yourself, but how you vote and how you reflect your politics does not mirror what you claim to be. And it's happening with some loved ones. I've got a great support system, a lot of people who, you know, support me and agree and. And we don't all have to agree, but it's getting to a point now where it's just so inhumane that that's where I'm struggling. Like, the grief, the sadness, the fear. I recognize that my. My rage comes from that. But getting it out in a healthy way, other than going online and trolling somebody and berating them or, or logically making an argument that holds up like, you know, sure, that'll give me some adrenaline, but that's not sustainable. We keep reaching these new lows, and only lately we're seeing people regret their decision because the markets are in turmoil. There's just chaos. And that kind of is another angle where I'm like, well, now they care because their wallets are getting hit. And. And I need that shift in perspective of like, okay, well, maybe the silver lining is they're starting to regret the decision. They're starting to question their decision, but I need to get away from this. Well, they're stupid and lazy and misinformed. And they're late.
- [42:19]
Sophia Bush
Can I offer you something on that?
- [42:20]
Katie
Absolutely.
- [42:22]
Sophia Bush
And I'm not gonna say that it's like a magic solve, but something that I've really had to reckon with. Cause I think I've had the exact verbatim conversation you're having. Like, we could do a Freaky Friday swap in this. Mom, Chelsea and I have both been in the thing. Like, I think we all know what it is to be so angry at what is so apparent. And so, let's be frank, like, hurt by it. The idea, you know, we were talking about this earlier. The idea of the American dream is that we built a democracy to allow for people to be free. Granted, we fucked up a lot along the way, but, like, we're supposed to be generationally getting closer and closer to those ideals. And when you see people take the collective agreement on the ideal and just torch it for personal gain, or so that someone else can be the butt of the joke or the center of the target, it's really. It's not just hard. It's like, traumatizing. It's very destabilizing because you realize, like, real isn't real. What's been helpful for me to understand about people is actually to do some of the nerdier research on confirmation bias and to understand that we're not having a conversation about logic, we're having a conversation about. About shame. And when people have put all their eggs in a basket that operates like a cult, that is abusive, that is absolutely fascist, and they've been told that it is the most American, most patriotic thing. When they start to have facts that push up against their confirmation bias hit, it's more likely that they're going to double down on the lie that they believe than admit that it was a lie. Because it's personally individually traumatizing. And it creates so much shame to realize you bought a lie, to realize you bought the snake oil from the salesman. And so I'VE had to take a deep breath and try to. And I don't say this to be a dick. I really like, I put myself in the space that I used to when I nannied when I was a camp counselor. When I'm dealing with a three and a half year old who like irrationally doesn't want to eat even though they're having a meltdown because they hungry, I have to remind myself that I know something about the irrationality that's that they're experiencing in their body that they haven't quite dealt with yet. And it gives me just enough pause and grace to say the trauma is going to hit them too and what are we going to do about it when they get here? And that's really a self preservation tactic for me. It is a way for me to be more human instead of more enraged. Because the angrier we are, the more they're winning, the more they get to be like, look at these fucking screaming, you know, screaming leftists. And it's like, I'm not screaming actually, I, I'm desperate to save the American experiment.
- [45:18]
Katie
Right. I wholeheartedly agree with all of that.
- [45:21]
Sophia Bush
And so I think if you can give yourself a little bit of the psychology in your own personal interaction, it can help you. And then honestly, one of the greatest things I learned from a friend was instead of doing the thing which, you know, many of us neurodivergent girlies do, which is like, I have every fact and every stat and I know this and let me tell you about this and if I can just give you enough information, you're gonna see because math is not emotional. And then you won't be emotional and then you'll know that this is true and that and you get yourself like really psyched out, sometimes you just need to lean in and go, well, why do you believe that? Where'd you hear that? Ask people questions. Cause if they can't defend their own position, it'll do more for your conversation than you trying to defend yours. So those would be my, my two.
- [46:04]
Katie
I've definitely taken that approach of asking leading questions and the why and the how and trying to relate of like, you know, at the end of the day we want similar things for our country. We want safe communities, we want, you know, good paying jobs. Like we were not that different. And I try to kind of point that out. And I definitely am trying to take it from a standpoint of like, yes, they're ashamed to admit that they've been wrong or like nobody likes admitting they've been wrong, but it's just, at what point? Like, how much longer will it take? And that's just where I've been struggling. And I'm trying to approach it from a softer approach. My wife has kind of taught me about being vulnerable instead of being on the attack my whole life. I'm like, okay, that's weak. Don't portray vulnerability, because then you'll show what you're afraid of. So I've, in recent years, kind of been trying to do that, but it's just. I just feel like it just gets worse and worse and worse. And I do productive things. I nourish myself. I nourish my life. But it's just weighing on me, and I just don't know how much more I can take. I've been compartmentalizing, disassociating, throwing myself into my work, just all of that just to get by. And I know that that's kind of like you said, a trauma response and relating it to them having their own almost delayed trauma response is a helpful way to think of it. Just because. But then I'm like, well, I pity them, and they're. They're slow, and. And I have to shift. I have to get rid of that, because that's still a negative. Look at somebody who deserves compassion as well.
- [47:32]
Sophia Bush
Well, I mean, you remind me so much of myself, like, when I went into therapy, because one of the first things I said to my psychiatrist was, I think everyone's annoyed. He's like, okay, let's talk about your childhood. I'm like, that's not important. I said, I find everyone very annoying, and I have no patience for stupid people. This. This is my biggest issue right now.
- [47:48]
Katie
Now.
- [47:48]
Sophia Bush
So it sounds a lot like you're echoing that kind of sentiment. And when you have that kind of attitude, something is deeper. Deeper is happening. And I understand circumstantially what we're all dealing with. I completely get it. I completely understand being angry, being disappointed, blah, blah, blah. But there is stuff within you that you need to talk to someone about to help you. And even if you go in there and you're talking about fucking Donald Trump for an hour, that's okay. But just exhaust the anger. You know what I mean? So, like, learn how to get through your anger and learn how to turn that anger into positivity, because that's what therapy taught me how to do, how to turn everything into, like, gratitude. Even when you wake up and you read the news and you're like, what the fuck am I gonna be grateful for. There's plenty to be grateful for. There's always plenty to be grateful for. We're not at a point yet where we're all. There's nothing to live for. Like, that's not happening yet. So you wanna be able to, like, you know, and inject people with that, you know, and when you're coming at people with a softer. With a softer self, you're gonna get a lot farther.
- [48:47]
Katie
Right, right. And you saying that, I mean, I've watched. Been watching you since I was a teenager. And, like, I kind of had the joke in my head that you were the first time I saw representation, because it was the first time I felt.
- [48:56]
Sophia Bush
Like a woman representation. You stopped representation. You're like, this looks good.
- [49:00]
Katie
This is the first white lady that represented me. So. But it was just like the first time that I saw somebody speaking their mind, being funny about it, and just being able to kind of take. Just say things out loud that people are afraid to say. I need to probably get back into therapy. I've been in and out. My family's always advocated for it, like, it. But it's just, yeah, like, getting that. The passion out in a way that enacts change. And like I said, like. Like, I have pride in my work and what I do is, like, semi political. It's related to the environment, it's related to plants. And it's just like, that's helpful. But I need something just for myself because like you said, it is probably deeper. It is probably something ingrained from childhood, but it's just like, damn, like, how much more of this? And yeah, watching your journey has helped a lot because I was thinking, like, I do need to practice gratitude. And every day I'm trying to think of, like. Like, I am happy overall. Then of course, I think of, I'm happy in my own little bubble. I've got all these things, and here we have all these people suffering, and it's getting worse for your average American and not enough Americans give a shit. And that's in like. Like, yes. Like, it is external, but, like, the. The practice of which I express it is something that I need to seek therapy for. But I'm still just like, you know, like, do I just keep disassociating until then? Like, I don't know.
- [50:21]
Sophia Bush
But no, you really just need to get into a therapist. You do. You have to get this out. Because you can be happy and angry. That's not an uncommon combination. You can be happy and angry, but what you really want to do is, is learn patience. For the other people and learn compassion for other people and not be so set in your own opinion even, no matter how right it is, just to be able to understand and take in other people without it making you fucking angry and without yelling, without screaming, just. It's gonna give you the toolbox you need, that you're gonna need to get through the next three years of this.
- [50:57]
Katie
Patience is a good way to put it for me because patience is something that I need to practice.
- [51:02]
Sophia Bush
Yeah, it's something you have to cultivate too. Like it really is. To Chelsea's point. It's a practice. It requires work. It's like a muscle you have to build. And I also think for a lot of us that are really justice minded, that can't kind of look away from the news, it's also really important to do something that isn't about activism, that isn't about learning a fact, that isn't about having a conversation, but that gives you a reminder of why those things matter to you. Like, truly, if you can figure out where the Feeding America food pantry is closest to you and like every other Sunday for two hours, go volunteer with some people you love. It will shift your energy. Like therapy and service will be the two greatest things that will shift your energy. Because when you get caught on the hamster wheel of I always have to be doing or fixing or learning or speaking, you're not existing. You're trying to solve something all the time. And that is a way to stay in trauma. And so to go out and hang with your neighbors and serve a meal or go somewhere even with a family member you disagree with and agree on something for an hour, it really, it's like a. Not to sound like the most LA person, but it's like a psychic kind of healing too.
- [52:25]
Katie
Right. I did start looking into volunteer opportunities, but then there was one that was like, like political climate change and all that. And I was like, maybe, maybe I shouldn't go there.
- [52:34]
Sophia Bush
You're doing enough of that.
- [52:35]
You're doing enough of that.
- [52:36]
Katie
Yeah, yeah. So. But I have looked into a few volunteer opportunities and it is something that I thought would nourish my soul, but I just, you know, adhd, procrastinated, haven't done it yet.
- [52:47]
Sophia Bush
Yeah, but that's great advice. Do that, do that. Look for a therapist. Go and just start getting this out so that you're just, you're just gonna bring yourself, you're going to be so much more centered so that it doesn't feel like this all the time. Like it's at the level where it's gonna fucking blow. Like, I know exactly what you're talking about and you just wanna break. You're gonna be so much more valuable to all the people in your life when you are able to really ground yourself and center yourself.
- [53:13]
Katie
Right.
- [53:14]
Sophia Bush
And that involves a lot of self awareness and that's where therapy comes in. You know, it's like the, it's, it's like you're purchasing the gift of self awareness.
- [53:21]
Katie
Right? Absolutely.
- [53:24]
Sophia Bush
So I'm glad you called. I'm glad you called. I'm like, yeah, this was perfect, perfect time, perfect guest for you to speak with and, you know, do what we say. Okay. And because we want you to be useful, we don't want you to burn out.
- [53:37]
Katie
Right, Right. That's the main thing. I have been operating at just this high frequency of just ready to respond whenever I need it. Like almost like I'm ready to be called to action. And that is exhausting.
- [53:48]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. Hypervigilance.
- [53:50]
Katie
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Hopefully we'll see better news ahead.
- [53:55]
Sophia Bush
Let's hope so.
- [53:56]
Katie
Yeah, that would be great.
- [53:58]
Sophia Bush
I would love some good news.
- [54:01]
Katie
Yeah, we'll all get that text someday. So.
- [54:03]
Sophia Bush
Yes, we're all in it together. That's the thing.
- [54:06]
Katie
Yeah, yeah. Yes. And I do again, great community around me and I'm leaning on my friends more than ever. It's just feeling it so deeply. I'm exhausted.
- [54:18]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, we're waiting, Katie.
- [54:19]
Katie
Yeah, yeah, I do take solace in that.
- [54:22]
Sophia Bush
Do it. Okay. Keep us updated with your, with your progress. Okay?
- [54:25]
Katie
Absolutely, absolutely. Thank you so much.
- [54:27]
Sophia Bush
Nice to meet you, Katie.
- [54:28]
Chelsea Handler
Thank you.
- [54:28]
Katie
Very nice to meet you all.
- [54:29]
Sophia Bush
Bye, Katie.
- [54:30]
Katie
See ya.
- [54:31]
Sophia Bush
Oh God. I mean that's, that's. She's speaking for like half the world right now. How everybody feels. Let's take a break and we'll be right back with Sophia. Push.
- [54:42]
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- [55:42]
Hi, Zoe Saldana. Welcome to T Mobile. Here's your new iPhone 16 Pro on us.
- [55:46]
Sophia Bush
Thanks. And here's my old phone to trade in.
- [55:48]
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You don't need a trade in. When you switch to T Mobile. We'll give you a new iPhone 16 Pro. Plus we'll help you pay off your old phone. Up to 800 bucks and you still get to keep it.
- [55:57]
Sophia Bush
There's always a trade in.
- [55:58]
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Not right now. AT T Mobile.
- [56:00]
Sophia Bush
I feel like I have to give.
- [56:01]
You something in return for karma.
- [56:02]
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That's okay.
- [56:03]
Sophia Bush
I don't really have much in my purse.
- [56:05]
Oh, let's see.
- [56:06]
Hand sanitizer.
- [56:07]
It's lavender.
- [56:08]
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I'm good. Seriously.
- [56:09]
Sophia Bush
Let me check this pocket.
- [56:10]
Oh, mints.
- [56:12]
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Really, I'm fine.
- [56:13]
Sophia Bush
Oh, I have raisins.
- [56:14]
I'm a mom. Wait, wait one sec. I've got cupcakes in the car.
- [56:17]
Katherine
It's our best iPhone offer ever. Switch to T Mobile. Get a new iPhone 16 Pro. With Apple and Tesla intelligence on us, no trade in needed. We'll even pay off your Phone up to 800 bucks with 24 monthly bill credits.
- [56:29]
Sophia Bush
New line 100 plus a month on.
- [56:31]
Katherine
Experience beyond Finance Agreement 999.99 and qualifying. Boarded for well qualified plus tax and.
- [56:35]
Sophia Bush
Ten dollar connection charge.
- [56:36]
Katherine
Payout via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days credits and balance due.
- [56:39]
Sophia Bush
If you pay off earlier.
- [56:40]
Katherine
Cancel CT mobile.com youm know what's great about your investment account with the big guys? It's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You can even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky, outdated platform behind. @Public.com Go to Public.com and fund your account in five minutes or less. Paid for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full disclosures at public.com disclosures.
- [57:12]
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- [57:42]
Sophia Bush
Create and we're back with Sophia Bush. Do we have time for one more? Let's do a little not caller a quickie.
- [57:51]
Chelsea Handler
Well, this one isn't a caller. I tried to get her to call in but she is currently staying with the person in question so wasn't able to so this is a good, good juicy one, she says Dear Chelsea, this is Shannon. I need some advice. I have a slow burn crush on my long term best friend. I met her eight years ago through work on a trip abroad. At the time, I was assigned to travel one on one with her to visit business partners in another country. She's a few years older than me and I was so attracted by her intelligence and powerful presence and confidence. Every time we went out for dinner I would get butterflies whenever I made her laugh. However, my stomach dropped when she said I reminded her of her favorite gay younger brother. At that point she also had a long term boyfriend and I assumed she was straight. So my crush faded and we've developed a solid friendship over the years, going on trips and I visited her her a few times. I never thought much more of these feelings because she was always in a relationship. Two years ago she ended things with her boyfriend and last year she told me she was attracted to women and wasn't completely straight. Although I don't think she had a explored this since. After staying with her for a month my feelings came rushing back and since then I've moved to her city for work, living in the same place for the first time. We've been spending a lot of time together and my feelings for her and those butterflies are only growing. Sometimes when we're together I catch myself thinking my girlfriend and quickly remind myself that she's just my friend. I'm torn. On the one hand, I feel this intense attraction and just want to be around her more. On the other, I'm unsure if she feels the same way. She's a generally flirty person, so sometimes I wonder if it's just me reading too much into things. I don't want to risk ruining our friendship or making things awkward, but I also don't want to look back and wonder what if? What should I do?
- [59:28]
Sophia Bush
Chelsea Shannon well, you know what I'm gonna say Sophia, what are you gonna say?
- [59:33]
No I wanna know what you're gonna say.
- [59:34]
I'm gonna say, go for it. Always go for it. I'm like, hello. I don't like when people wait around for things. You know, it's your life. You gotta grab it. Grab life by the balls, get after what you want. And if she doesn't feel the same way, that's not a loss. That's like, oh, okay, it's a disappointment. Then, you know, then you have even more information moving forward. So she's not an option. Moving forward. And then, like. And then you can decide if you want to spend time with her. But, like, always go for it. I feel. What do you think?
- [60:03]
Yeah, I. I think there's nothing worse than to wonder, you know, and. And listen, I think all of us, you know, we were talking earlier about hindsight. Like, you look back and you go, well, maybe I should have let myself wonder about that one, you know, like. But if you had, who knows what would have happened? And I think no matter what, to throw yourself toward what you want to be willing to risk for love. Like, what else are we here for? And so, yeah, I kind of think it harkens back to the way you advised our first caller to maybe don't read that whole letter to this person, but just say, hey, I could be off base. I feel like there's a little bit of a shift in our dynamic. I don't know. It feels like.
- [60:53]
Exactly.
- [60:54]
I like that there's something else going on here, and if I'm misreading it, we can pretend we never had this conversation. But if I'm not, I want to talk about it, and I'm kind of liking it. And, like, just. See, I think it's always worth saying, is there something happening here? If there is, what might happen next?
- [61:16]
Like, also one thing to think about is, like, I understand you want to preserve the relationship and that you don't want to ruin the relationship in case she doesn't have those mutual feelings. But when you go after something in life and the thing that's stopping you is, what if the answer's no? Then you're not going to find out. A lot of things in life, like, you have to be ready to accept a no. Then now you have the truth, and then you can move on with your life in a different way and knowing she's not an option. So it's like thinking that, oh, what if the answer's no? If this guy. If I bring up our relationship and this guy doesn't wanna be in a relationship with me, from our earlier caller. He doesn't wanna go from a booty call to something more serious. Okay, well, then. Then you have that information. That's an advantage, not a disadvantage. So we all have to look at no's with a more positive outlook. Like, that's one step closer to getting where you're going.
- [62:08]
Yeah.
- [62:08]
Chelsea Handler
One thing that also, like, just popped into my mind is, like, every woman who dates other women that I know, like, if there is, like, a dating situation and they break up, like, generally people stay friends. You know what I mean? Like, women often stay friends with exes who are other women in my experience. So I don't think it's a bad thing.
- [62:26]
Sophia Bush
Well, that's the theme of today's episode. Everybody go for it, okay? The whole world could end in about fucking six months. We don't know what the fuck's gonna happen. So definitely get after it. Go for it. Make sure you tune into Sophia's podcast if you're not already a listener. It's called Work in Progress, and her new movie is coming out in June, and it's up to you to go find it. Right? We did it. We did it. I love you, Sophia. I'll see you soon.
- [62:51]
I love you. I will see you soon.
- [62:54]
Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming, and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July 5th will be the next date that I'm there. July 5th, August 30th. And then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th, I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing inside myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you.
- [63:28]
Chelsea Handler
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earchelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.
- [63:48]
Sophia Bush
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- [64:22]
Katherine
You know what's great about your investment account with the big guys? It's actually a time machine. Log in and zoom. Welcome back to 1999. It's time for an upgrade. At public.com you can invest in almost everything. Stocks, bonds, options and more. You could even put your cash to work at an industry leading 4.1% APY. Leave your clunky outdated platform behind at public.com go to public.com and fund your account in 5 minutes. Minutes or less. Pay for by Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC. Full disclosures at public.com disclosures future health.
- [64:53]
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- [65:53]
Katherine
We finally switched to T Mobile because.
- [65:54]
Sophia Bush
With them we can be connected here and there. Dad, the cousins in Mexico have a surprise for you.
- [66:03]
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- [66:09]
Sophia Bush
Galaxy AI on us and four lines.
- [66:11]
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Sophia Bush
Non stop stop talk techs and data.
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Between us and Mexico.
- [66:15]
Sophia Bush
Visit a store t mobile.com or call 1-800-t-mobile 1-800-t-MOBILE. See details@t mobile.com this is an iHeart podcast.