Podcast Summary: Dear Chelsea – "Having a Felch with Toni Collette"
Podcast: Dear Chelsea (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Chelsea Handler
Date: December 25, 2025
Guest: Toni Collette
Co-hosts: Kathryn Lawrence, Brad Dickert
Episode Overview
On this special holiday episode, Chelsea Handler welcomes acclaimed actress Toni Collette for a candid, wide-ranging, and at-times hilarious conversation covering Toni’s latest projects, memorable roles, family dynamics, sexuality in film, and shared advice to listeners navigating relationships and big life changes. The episode transitions smoothly from lighthearted banter and behind-the-scenes stories to heartfelt, practical advice for listener call-ins, embodying the advice-meets-comedy vibe that defines "Dear Chelsea."
Main Themes & Purposes
- Celebrating Toni Collette’s Career: Discussing her new projects (“Wayward” and “Goodbye June”), memorable scenes, and working relationships.
- Honest Dialogue About Sex & Family: Exploring groundbreaking depictions of sexuality in Toni’s work, and candid anecdotes from both Chelsea and Toni about their families.
- Advice With Humor: Direct responses to audience questions on step-parenting, growing independence, and sibling relationships, blending compassion, wisdom, and wit.
- Sisterly Chemistry: Chelsea and Toni bond over activism, humor, and navigating womanhood.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Holiday Chaos & Chelsea’s House
[04:33]
Chelsea details her lively, guest-filled house during the holidays, joking about her home becoming a “sex house” due to all the young couples staying over:
- “My house has turned into basically, I don’t know, I guess a sex house.” – Chelsea Handler
2. Welcoming Toni Collette & Fangirling
[06:02]
Chelsea introduces Toni as one of her all-time favorite actors. Toni reciprocates the affection, sharing that they often DM on Instagram and align on political activism:
- “We’re both very political, too. We both are very much about posting and making sure people know how we feel.” – Chelsea Handler [07:21]
- Toni thanks Chelsea for turning her onto new Instagram accounts and laughs about their unexpected friendship.
3. Standing Up for Paul Dano & Tarantino Critique
[07:44]
The hosts discuss Toni’s public support for actor Paul Dano amid Quentin Tarantino’s criticisms:
- “Paul is incredibly talented and the most beautiful person... Where does [the criticism] come from? It’s pretty confusing.” – Toni Collette [07:55]
4. Behind-the-Scenes: "Little Miss Sunshine" & "The Staircase"
[08:07]
- Anniversary screening for "Little Miss Sunshine"; appreciation for Paul Dano’s performance.
- Chelsea and Toni reminisce about "The Staircase," specifically the infamous kitchen “felch” scene:
- “My husband has some gay tendencies and he wanders in and decides to just, you know, whip my pants down and have a good old felch.” – Toni Collette [10:24]
- Discussion of filming a graphic sex scene, the lack of similar examples on TV, and prepping for physical vulnerability as an actor.
- “Poor Kate, my costumer, had to come in and like, pack the crack of my ass with all kinds of protective stuff so Colin didn’t have to, you know, actually eat ass.” – Toni Collette [10:44]
- Laughter about learning new terms ("felching," "boofing") and Chelsea’s psychedelic stage stories.
5. Chelsea’s Antarctica Adventure
[12:31]
- Chelsea recounts her journey to Antarctica, marveling at the vast icebergs and expressing a wish to stay there “until this administration is over.”
6. Female Sexuality & Orgasms on TV
[13:36]
- Discussion about Toni being the first woman to have an orgasm on BBC (in “Wanderlust”).
- “I didn’t know that either, but they made a very big deal of that.” – Toni Collette [13:40]
- The liberating nature of roles dealing with female sexuality and marriage in “Wanderlust.”
7. Toni’s Family, Parenting, and Love for Rome
[15:05]
- Toni describes growing up in Sydney, earning her boating license with her kids, and the joys/challenges of parenting teenagers.
- Her deep connection to Italy, spending time in Rome, and working on “Mafia Mamma.”
- “This is my place. This is where my greatest joy lives.” – Toni Collette [16:48]
8. Toni’s New Work: "Wayward" & "Goodbye June"
Wayward [17:07]:
- Joining Mae Martin’s show “Wayward,” attracted by the writing’s originality and “profound” themes of trauma and healing.
- “It dealt with a lot of really deep shit, you know, that isn’t often addressed... The show is highly original, which is very unusual in 2025.” – Toni Collette [19:14]
Goodbye June [23:41]:
- Praise for co-stars Kate Winslet (also director), Andrea Riseborough, and Helen Mirren.
- Family dynamics, grief, and love are central: “It’s a beautiful story about family and yes, it’s about loss and yes, you will definitely need your Kleenex, but you will laugh as well. It’s so relatable and... uplifting.” – Toni Collette [26:59]
9. Sibling Dynamics & Grief
[27:40]
- Chelsea and Toni compare being the youngest/eldest siblings, referencing Gabor Maté and books on birth order.
- Chelsea shares her family’s unique coping reactions to loss: “Men’s and women’s reactions to things are so... surprising. But once you see it, you understand.” – Chelsea Handler [30:53]
- Toni reflects on grief, Western attitudes toward death, and her own journey toward acceptance.
10. Exploring Family History
[31:47]
- Both Chelsea and Toni appeared on "Who Do You Think You Are?" Toni shares discovering family secrets and embracing the complexity and love found in ancestry.
Listener Advice Segment (“Dear Chelsea” Callers)
1. Step-Parenting Challenges ([37:27])
Caller Rachel asks about her growing distance with her 11-year-old stepdaughter after her own child was born:
- Toni validates feelings of loss, suggests phases are normal, and offers hope for reconnection.
- “You can help her feel safe in the connection again... Maybe have some one-on-one time together.” – Toni Collette [40:10]
- Chelsea advises on giving space, nurturing the sibling bond, and not taking tween withdrawal personally.
- “Sometimes when people push you away, give them double space... She’ll come back around.” – Chelsea Handler [42:02]
2. Becoming Independent & Leaving Home ([44:30])
Caller Noah, 19, struggles with leaving his close-knit family to pursue acting dreams in L.A.:
- Chelsea reframes the move as an adventure, not abandonment.
- “You’re not leaving your family... you can stay in touch in a million zillion ways.” – Chelsea Handler [45:59]
- Toni encourages following passion, sharing her journey from family life in Sydney to global acting.
- “You are allowed to have your own life and your own experiences... Follow the passion.” – Toni Collette [48:02]
3. Sibling Gratitude Issues ([55:54])
Izzy (email) laments that her younger sister rarely says thank you for gifts or support:
- Chelsea and Toni affirm that it’s okay to ask for basic manners, but suggest using gentle, non-accusatory language.
- “Please and thank you are kind of the two most important... phrases.” – Chelsea Handler [57:46]
- Toni notes some people struggle with receiving, and context matters—clarity may come from an honest, written note.
- “If you make it more about making her feel comfortable... and less about how disgruntled you feel...” – Toni Collette [59:58]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “I know you do, and you’ve actually turned me onto a couple of different Instagram accounts... so thank you for that.” – Chelsea Handler [07:21]
- “I can’t stop waxing poetically about you. My introduction to you is Muriel’s Wedding ... I still quote that movie as along with millions of other people.” – Chelsea Handler [06:29]
- On the infamous “The Staircase” scene: “My costumer had to come in and like, pack the crack of my ass with all kinds of protective stuff so Colin didn’t have to, you know, actually eat ass.” – Toni Collette [10:44]
- “I actually thought we were going to be together... But yeah, right back at ya. I really, really align with much of what you espouse.” – Toni Collette [07:01]
- “Chaos. Family is chaos at times and it’s gorgeously so.” – Toni Collette [29:21]
Timestamps for Major Segments
| Segment/Event | Timestamp (MM:SS) | |-----------------------------------|--------------------| | Chelsea’s holiday household chaos | 04:33 | | Introducing Toni Collette | 06:00 | | Discussing Paul Dano & Tarantino | 07:44 | | “Little Miss Sunshine” & “The Staircase” | 08:07 | | Sex in TV: “Wanderlust” orgasm | 13:36 | | Toni on Rome & Family | 15:07 | | Discussing “Wayward” | 17:07 | | “Goodbye June” deep dive | 23:41 | | Sibling and grief discussion | 27:40 | | Ancestry revelations | 31:47 | | Listener: Step-parenting advice | 37:27 | | Listener: Leaving home/adulthood | 44:30 | | Listener: Sibling gratitude | 55:54 |
Tone and Language
The episode maintains Chelsea Handler’s signature blend of irreverence, sharp wit, and unfiltered honesty, balanced by Toni Collette’s generous candor, emotional intelligence, and sense of fun. Both women bring vulnerability and warmth to serious subjects, making advice relatable and fostering a sense of community among listeners.
Conclusion
This lively, memorable episode is a testament to Chelsea Handler’s ability to bring out the playful, thoughtful side of her guests—here, the acclaimed Toni Collette—while guiding discussions that weave pop culture, personal storytelling, and real-world advice. Listeners come away with laughs, new perspectives on acting and family, and helpful, no-BS advice for navigating life’s messy transitions.