Hole Out, But Classy with Tana Mongeau

Summary

Dear Chelsea – “Hole Out, But Classy” with Tana Mongeau

Podcast: Dear Chelsea (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Chelsea Handler, with co-host Catherine Law
Guest: Tana Mongeau
Date: June 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This week, Chelsea Handler welcomes YouTuber, influencer, and podcast creator Tana Mongeau for an honest, funny, and at times deeply reflective conversation. Together, they unpack their respective journeys through party-girl reputations, sobriety, reinvention, family hardships, love, online personas, and setting new boundaries. The episode moves from comedic banter to raw confessions on addiction, family estrangement, and the challenges of being vulnerable online—plus, the episode includes a heartfelt advice segment on healing, self-worth, and sexuality.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Gloss, Glamor, and First Impressions

• [03:32-05:04] The episode opens with Chelsea and her co-host chatting about makeup and glam routines, setting a relaxed, “no-filter” tone.
  • “Lip gloss ends up getting a lot of... to a lot of other places than your lips.” — Chelsea [04:01]
  • Chelsea shares that while she enjoys seeing herself glammed-up for events, she’s not into daily beauty routines: “I could take it or leave it… I’m not really one for sitting around getting my hair and makeup done.” [04:20]
• Tana’s arrival is noted as “on point,” entering in a Bentley with a driver—"Good job, girl." [05:25]

Tana & Chelsea’s First ‘Meeting’ Story: Awkward Fandom

• [05:44-11:09] The two recount their dynamic—banter, mispronunciations, and Tana’s “stalking” fandom.
  • Chelsea pokes fun at not pronouncing Tana’s name right:
    • “I've been calling her Tana Mangano, which is close to calling her Mangaloi.” - Chelsea [05:52]
• Tana explains she booked herself on a flight just to be near Chelsea, leading to an anxious, self-deprecating airport encounter.
  • “I had to remove myself from this airport right now or I'm going to assault this woman who actually just does not know me… that's my idol, just sitting over there.” — Tana [10:40]

Substance Use, Sobriety, and the Hot Mess Identity

• [11:34-16:22] Both women poke fun at their energy (“the sad zoomies”), drinking habits, why Tana quit alcohol, and maintaining “hot mess” energy sober:
  • “I'm so happy that I met you in a time of my life that I'm not drinking, because…my drunk brain would have been like, I can keep up with Chelsea… I would have had to kill myself.” — Tana [15:22]
  • “You're a hot mess with or without drinking, so you didn't need the drinking.” — Chelsea [15:08]
• Tana describes shifting from identity rooted in partying to finding value in authenticity and vulnerability.

Nakedness, Instagram, and "Hole Out, But Classy"

• [16:24-17:56] Chelsea and Tana compare their comfort with nudity and public personas.
  • “Sometimes it’s a turtleneck, and sometimes it’s hole out. We don’t always know what we’re going to get.” — Tana [16:42]
  • On a recent photo: “You had a napkin covering your behind… hole out, but keep it classy.” — Co-host [16:48]
  • Tana clarifies it was a dirty napkin: “Some things just... they never change.” [16:59]

Love, Responsibility, and Opposites Attract

• [17:06-20:12]
  • Tana’s boyfriend is described as “the most patient person I have ever met”—a grounding, responsible presence balancing out her chaos.
  • “He’s the sound, responsible guy who loves the entertainment of me. I bring the whimsy.” — Tana [17:37]
• Chelsea shares she’s called a “sexy tornado” by her partner—loving the company of men who can handle their intensity without wanting to change them.

The Healing Power of Hawaii & Escaping LA

• [18:03-19:39] Tana shares that buying a place in Hawaii has provided much-needed calm, “chill,” and perspective on the LA bubble.
  • Both reflect on Hawaii’s unique, healing vibe and natural beauty.
  • “Hawaii is singular… there’s a very healing vibe that you get when you get off the plane…” — Chelsea [18:33]

On Maturity, Reinvention, and Outgrowing Old Personas

• [24:02-27:02]
  • Tana discusses ending her chaotic podcast “Cancelled” as sobriety, maturity, and love changed the direction of her life.
  • “I was holding on to a version of myself that I needed to part ways with.” — Tana [25:51]
  • Chelsea highlights the necessity of true growth and reinvention: “If you’re not growing up at some point, it’s not interesting.” [26:16]

Family Estrangement, Childhood, and Chosen Families

• [27:02-35:21]
  • Tana opens up about her traumatic childhood, estrangement from her narcissistic parents, moving out at 13, and being sued by her parents for “slander and defamation.”
    • “If someone is no contact with their family, it means they have tried everything. It’s not option one.” — Tana [29:30]
  • Chelsea stresses the importance of finding “parents” and family figures everywhere in life, not just biologically.
  • Both discuss how growing up with chaotic families fomented resilience and independence; Tana talks about having a “void” she eventually befriended rather than trying to fill it.

Sobriety, Self-Respect, & Becoming a Role Model

• [32:33-35:21] Chelsea asks what Tana’s most proud of in her sobriety:
  • Tana reflects on overcoming self-hatred, reclaiming her self-image, and being resilient:
    • “I might still be a little messy, but I can be a role model and I am proud of myself and I am resilient as fuck.” — Tana [33:24]

Relationships: Distance, Independence, and Honesty

• [49:03-53:27]

  • Chelsea is honest about loving long-distance relationships and needing her independence:
    • “When I’m here in town, I don’t have time for any distraction. I just want to hit the ground running…” — Chelsea [49:56]
  • Tana shares her partner is “permanent” and could see herself getting married “Tana style”—possibly in Vegas or Hawaii.

• Both women agree on presenting relationships online honestly, regardless of fears of future breakups:

  • “I don’t care if we break up. Then we break up. That doesn’t matter…” — Chelsea [53:00]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Outgrowing Old Selves:

• “It’s not a breakup, but it is a rebirth… like a crab who lost this shell, it doesn’t fit anymore, and I’m looking for my new one.” — Tana [41:00]

On Self-Consciousness and Growth:

• “Second guessing your interactions and overthinking what you said—before I would just say something and forget about it for two years…” — Chelsea [42:11]

On Setting New Standards:

• “You know what you want and you’re gonna get it and you’re not gonna apologize for it, which… is so inspiring.” — Tana to Chelsea [37:16]

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Advice Section Highlights

Coping with Loneliness, Self-Worth, and Healing (Naomi’s Letter)

[57:18-67:07]

• Naomi, a trans woman recovering from surgery, seeks advice on learning to be alone, abstinence, and healing.
  • Chelsea and Tana both validate her struggle, with Chelsea encouraging new self-care rituals:
    • “Being alone doesn’t mean that you’re lonely… You’re investing in yourself during this period of time.” — Chelsea [57:37]
  • Tana emphasizes the power of self-talk:
    • “The more you’re driving home, ‘I’m lonely, I’m lonely,’ of course you’re believing that. Start saying, ‘I’m a powerhouse. I don’t need anybody.’” — Tana [61:10]
  • Chelsea recommends journaling, meditation, and practicing gratitude as daily rituals, highlighting Brene Brown’s “marble jar” as an analogy for inner resource-building.
  • Both stress that being selective now leads to attracting more respectful, loving partners in the future:
    • “You’ll enter as a completely different person, therefore attracting completely different people.” — Tana [58:59]

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On Threesomes in Relationships (Natasha’s Letter)

[71:23-73:24]

• Natasha asks about the best approach for a couple’s first threesome.
  • Consensus: Avoid neighbors or anyone in your close circle. Choose someone unknown for anonymity and to preserve boundaries.
    • “Not a neighbor. Please don’t do a neighbor—fear God, not a neighbor.” — Tana [72:11]
    • “Go and find someone at a bar and have it be like an anonymous person … Make sure you guys are spelling out the boundaries for each other.” — Chelsea [72:19]
  • Both reinforce that trying something new is okay and deciding you don’t like it is valid.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Guest introduction & Tana’s name [05:44-07:00]
• Their “OG story” (first airport meeting) [09:04-11:09]
• Sobriety, substance talk [12:00-16:22]
• Nudity, social image, “hole out, but classy” [16:24-17:56]
• Love, opposites attract, Hawaii [17:06-20:12]
• Tana’s podcast journey & personal growth [24:02-27:02]
• Family trauma & “no contact” with parents [27:02-29:34]
• Chosen families, overcoming childhood [30:48-35:21]
• Advice: healing from loneliness (Naomi) [57:18-67:07]
• Advice: threesomes, maintaining boundaries (Natasha) [71:23-73:24]

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The conversation is bold, candid, and full of self-deprecating humor, but it’s also deeply humanizing. Chelsea and Tana show that reinvention, honesty, and healing are messy but vital processes, and that it’s possible to honor your past “hot mess” while building a healthier, more fulfilling present. Their advice to listeners is direct but compassionate, guided by both hard-won wisdom and irreverence. Whether discussing fame, trauma, sex, or how to survive Vegas (and parents), they reinforce that self-worth, honesty, and growth take work, but ultimately create new, better chapters.

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Notable Closing Moment

“...You don’t have to do the things you do. And I think that’s what makes it so special ...knowing you don’t have to text me at 3am a hilarious video or give me all this advice... but you do, anyways, and that’s who you are. So thank you.” — Tana to Chelsea [75:28]

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Tana Mongeau’s New Podcast “Brand Safe” launches this week. Find it on YouTube, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts.

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For advice or to listen to more episodes, visit Chelsea Handler’s official channels.

Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Dr. Joy]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, guys, here are my dates for the High and Mighty tour. In June, I will be in Hyannis, Massachusetts, and then two shows in Nantucket. In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City. Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies. I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your tickets@chelsea handler.com for the high and Mighty tour.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Hello.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Hi, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

What's happening?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

What is happening?

[Chelsea Handler]

You have a different makeup on today. I do.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

I never, never do lip gloss, but I did, and I was like, I found myself in the car, even though my hair is too short for it to blow into my lip gloss. I was like, leaning away from the window. I'm like, this is not. I don't know. I'm not usually a lip gloss girl.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know how I feel about lip gloss. I. I feel the same way, but I always put lip balm on. I put on. Yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yes. But gloss is, like, a little.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Lip gloss ends up getting a lot of. To a lot of other places other than your lips.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Unfortunately, yes.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

It tends to.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like a matte finish is how I feel. That's how I feel about aesthetics in general. I like a matte finish.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Do you like to be glammed up, like, when you're at, like, a show, an awards show, or any. Or are you kind of like, you could take it or leave it?

[Chelsea Handler]

I could take it or leave it. But I do appreciate when I look, like, at the roast. Like, I loved the way that I looked. When I said. When I saw videos of that, like, I was like, wow, you look really good. So when I see myself or, like, critic's choice, when I get really glam, super glam every once in a while, I'm like, wow. Yeah. You know, like, with the hair, they'll do something, and they add pieces, and you look like a completely different person or 10 years younger. Like, I think the volume of hair can really take off age.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Oh, for sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

So it makes you look fresher, more vibrant. So I like that. But I mean, yeah, I'm not really one for sitting around getting my hair and makeup done.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

You're not like a Kris Jenner who's like, every morning?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I could never do that. But then I look at what I create on my own, and it's a hot mess. So, you know, I don't know. What I don't know. I like to be on vacation with a little tan, and then I don't have to worry about anything.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yeah, well, you know who did arrive looking on point was our guest this week.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

I.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Listen, I have to tell you, I was so pleased because she pulled up in a Bentley, and I have a little bit of a thing of, like, if you're driving your own Bentley, that's, like, not how it's supposed to work. Like, if you have a Bentley, someone

[Chelsea Handler]

should be driving you. If somebody was driving her Bentley and

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

she got out of the passenger side, and I had to say, good job, girl.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, good job. Yeah. She's a hot mess. She's great. And her name. Well, she's an influencer. She's a former MTV mischief maker. And her new podcast is called Brand Safe, which is out now. Please welcome Tana Mongeau. Are we rolling? Because I want to. Yeah, we're here.

[Tana Mongeau]

Are you rolling? Is the question.

[Chelsea Handler]

Here's the question. Here's the question. I have been mispronouncing this woman's name ever since I met her.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And we're going to tell our OG Story, because it's ridiculous. And I've been calling her Tana Mangano, which is close to calling her Mangaloi.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

It really is.

[Tana Mongeau]

But, Chelsea, can I tell you something? I feel like if one day you called me and you were like, well, you wouldn't call me. You'd send me a video, and you'd be like, hi. In bed. If you called me and you were like, hey, Tana. I would be like, what did I do?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Do?

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I'm. I. I feel in trouble almost.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, well, you would be in trouble if I called you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I would. I leave you video, which I live

[Tana Mongeau]

for, by the way.

[Chelsea Handler]

I vlog to you.

[Tana Mongeau]

And it's funny because sometimes you'll send me one, and I'm like.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you get that microphone a little bit farther away from your mouth.

[Tana Mongeau]

You don't like that?

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm sorry. You're gonna eat it?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm starving.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you?

[Tana Mongeau]

Always. I have a banana on the way.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Oh, she's a banana.

[Tana Mongeau]

One banana.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's allowed to have one banana per day.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, yeah, that's kind of what my conservator tells me, you know, that I should have.

[Chelsea Handler]

She does eat a conservator.

[Tana Mongeau]

O.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let's get your name. It's Tana.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's Tana.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's Tana.

[Tana Mongeau]

But you. What? I think I. Again, I think that if you really hit me with a Tana, I would be in trouble.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, why do I think it's Tana? Because I just.

[Tana Mongeau]

Chelsea. I don't know.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yeah, I told her it's Tana, but she thought it was just my advisor.

[Chelsea Handler]

Big on pronunciation.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what actually it is, though, is that phonetically, it is Tana. Like Lana. L, A, N, A H, A, N,

[Chelsea Handler]

A would be like, on, like, you

[Tana Mongeau]

know what I mean? So I. My parents kind of. But I. You know, they weren't really phonetic people.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, well, you don't even talk to your parents at all. No. Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

And if I did, I guess I wouldn't really lead with phonics. I have a few more issues to kind of unpack, you know.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's good. Okay, so it's Tanner. Mojo Mongeau.

[Tana Mongeau]

Mojo.

[Chelsea Handler]

Mojo, yes. Mojo.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, it's French. It's giving face smashed on keyboard. For sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's giving. A little New Orleans.

[Tana Mongeau]

Ooh, that hurts me so deeply.

[Chelsea Handler]

French Quarter, New Orleans.

[Tana Mongeau]

Okay, you know what? I'll take that. I used to really hate New Orleans, but I've been.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was roofied there a lot.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, well, like, you know, that'll do it for you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I had a. I only have fondness. I mean, well, not only, but one of my fond memories of New Orleans is that was when 50 Cent and I accidentally debuted our relationship.

[Tana Mongeau]

I thought you were gonna say accidentally dated. I love saying I accidentally dated.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that was an accident, too. So. I mean, all dating is pretty much an accident. It really is, honestly, until you get into, like, the six, sixth or seventh week of it, and then it becomes intentional. Yes. Like when you're meeting someone and getting to know them, that is kind of accidental.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

In the beginning, initially.

[Tana Mongeau]

So were you in the accidental stage with 50 Cent in New Orleans?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, because he was like, I'll come wherever you are. Where are you gonna be? And I was like, I'm gonna be in New Orleans. I have a show this weekend, and you're welcome to come, but, like, you know, I'm not guaranteeing anything. And so he got a room, and he came with his security guard, and I said, let's go for a walk on the street. And he was like, I can't do that. And I was like, let's go for a walk in the street. Like, you can do it. And he couldn't do that because we walked outside and it was a fucking shit show.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so fucked up when you tell me a story because I have to sit and smile like I don't know it. Like, I'm not a fucking murderer. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's so funny. I totally haven't consumed that, like, 70,000 times.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let's get to our. Let's get to our.

[Tana Mongeau]

To me stalking you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let's get to our OG Story so people understand our dynamic because it's abusive. And I just want to say that I'm abusive to her because she's ridiculous and it's out of love. I wouldn't abuse you if I didn't love you.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I know you know that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know you know that, but just explaining to anyone who might be a new listener.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, but I love. Like, even the other day, I was talking about that in the car, and I was like, I find it so sweet, obviously, that you even take the time. And then I know that when you love someone, you'll, like, give them a little bit of shit. That means you're on the good side with you. So it's just. I don't know. It's beautiful. But it did start with me stalking you down. Yeah, well, kind of. We were on the same flight.

[Chelsea Handler]

You weren't stalking me.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, we. I, like, factually, I did just book a ticket on a flight that you were on, but then I got to the airport and I went into psychosis, and I think that's important to talk.

[Chelsea Handler]

We were at Jet Suite in Vegas because I was coming from a show in Vegas and you were in. We were in the little lounge of Jet Suite. Have you flown Jet Suite?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

No, but I know it's the most

[Chelsea Handler]

convenient way to fly. Unfortunately, they don't fly everywhere. It's more regional right now. But they do kind of have some flights across country. But you could bring your dog and you can. I'm a spokesperson for justice.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm your dog. They better pay you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Anyway, I saw out of the corner of my eye, like, the age range of a girl that. And I saw her reaction that I was like. She was like. I could tell she was a fan. And I was like, okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

Clenching my ass, you know?

[Chelsea Handler]

And I'm Right, right? And I saw it. But I was also. It's Vegas. It's the morning. I'm Hungover. I'm trying to get out of there.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

You're also not going to go up to someone and say, do you know me?

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you a fan? So I just saw it, but I. And then she got up and removed herself. Well, because I had.

[Tana Mongeau]

I had to like, 100%. I was like, I have to remove myself from this airport right now or I'm going to assault this woman who actually just does not know me. You know what I mean? I don't know her. She doesn't know me. I was like, assaulting my boyfriend. I'm grabbing his arm. I was like, let me just walk outside. Let me take a breath. Because you just. When you're leaving Vegas, you're already in a mentality where it's like, get me the fuck out of here. I feel dirty, I feel gross. Like I don't want to be here. And then I walk into the airport and I just look a mess. And I'm like, oh, my God, that's my idol. Like, just sitting over there. And I was like, I don't know, just freaking the out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that's really sweet and cute. I don't know what you're doing with your leg, but you need to get comfortable because this is like up here and moving around.

[Tana Mongeau]

Scoliosis. Are you like, offending the whole scoliosis community?

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, I apologize to the scoliosis community.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's good to just apologize in the moment. I've been learning.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Absolutely.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Get ahead of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I don't know if that explains your sitting, but. Okay, we'll go with that. I mean, I don't even know if I believe you, quite frankly.

[Tana Mongeau]

Well, I'm speedballing right now also, because whenever I see Chelsea, there is like, I have to consume a certain amount of things before I see you.

[Chelsea Handler]

So what did you take today?

[Tana Mongeau]

I started with a Red Bull. So I was like, let me wake up. Let me. I was watching some at like 11am too. It's just like, Jesus, you know, that's

[Chelsea Handler]

the only time you would need a Red Bull. To be honest. Like, I'm not having a Red Bull at 5:00, clock at night.

[Tana Mongeau]

But also I should be awake by 11am I'm just not a morning person.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Dr. Joy]

Okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know, and then the Xanax, the quarter bar before I see you every time. And honestly, to be real with you, I could use another one. Like, it's still not enough.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love that you take Xanax and are like, if I take a Xanax, I go to bed.

[Tana Mongeau]

It gives me energy, weirdly, which I think says so much about your brain chemistry. Like, what do you mean? I take a Xanax and I'm like cleaning the house.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's like if someone takes an Adderall and it doesn't impact them, it's because. Wait, what is the reason that you have adhd? If you know. Yeah. If you don't feel anything, you have adhd. But if you do feel something, you. Yeah, if you feel up from it, then that means you're just partying on anorexic plates.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you like Adderall? I don't really.

[Tana Mongeau]

I like Adderall, but then sometimes I'm like counting my pores and I'm like,

[Chelsea Handler]

okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like it's, it's meth.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't like to be amped, but I've been taking a Celsius. I've taken to Celsius.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love taking Celsius.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've been taking. I wanted to say I've taken to Celsius recently. I have these little brain energy drinks that I drink that are healthy and. But I've started taking like, instead of one, I've been taking two or three because my engine is like really running low right now in this moment. And so I. This morning I had a Celsius and then I had natural plant based caffeine. And so I am wide awake, but also asleep.

[Tana Mongeau]

I call those the sad zoomies.

[Chelsea Handler]

Uh huh.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like where it's like the coffee is coursing through your veins but you're still sad about it. And it like still kind of hurts to me.

[Chelsea Handler]

And my eyes hurt. Yeah, I do. My eyes hurt.

[Tana Mongeau]

My eyes always hurt. I don't, I don't think I like being awake. But you just point blank, period. Like, my favorite pastime is sleeping.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let me give you some background on Tana. This is what I know.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm in trouble.

[Chelsea Handler]

She is a. She is the definition of an influencer. You're the ultimate influencer.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was gonna say that's really nice, but coming from you, it also might be like.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, no, I mean, I'm just saying it plainly because that's true. You have built a career on being an influencer and you've also had like a whole journey. I've given up on not using the word journey because I can't find a replacement word.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think journey is pretty accurate.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, I just find it to be a little bit corny.

[Tana Mongeau]

Corny, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Journey.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And like my journey in question is like getting Arrested at Coachella. It's like, kill yourself Journey does insinuate something. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Grander. Yeah. So one of the things you're.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

You.

[Chelsea Handler]

You stopped drinking, and that was. And this is something we have in common. So I understand why you feel a kindred spirit with me, because I also am a professional drinker.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh, I thought you were about to say you stopped drinking.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no, no.

[Tana Mongeau]

I was like, I'm relapsing.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I'm not drinking.

[Tana Mongeau]

Something's wrong.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm not giving up on alcohol. We have an understanding, and please don't. We get each other.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, the people need it.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I understand. When I met you, you're like, oh, I stopped drinking. And this is kind of like my.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Not.

[Chelsea Handler]

Not your whole identity, but a big part of who you are. And you share a lot of information about your personal life, as I have done my entire life. And I like that. I think that that's very genuine, and I think that that's important because so many people are putting out this kind of, like, Persona of themselves, and that's fine if you're an actor and you want your privacy or if you're. I don't know. I don't know what other fields of interest where you're not. You don't necessarily want to be about who you are. But I really relate to people who are themselves and who can be in a hot. Who can be a hot mess on camera and off. You know what I mean? Because it's not an. It's not an act. I mean, you're a hot mess with or without drinking, so you didn't need the drinking.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because I was just thinking about that, too. Like, I mean, first of all, I'm so happy that I met you in a time of my life that I'm not drinking, because I think that my drunk brain would have been like, I can keep up with Chelsea and, like, jaw swinging, and I would have been trying to keep up with you, and I would have just like. Like, I would have had to kill myself. It would have been so embarrassing what I would have done. So I definitely am, like, grateful for that in that regard. But still a hot mess, for sure. I think for a long time, I tied my identity so much to, like, alcohol, and I almost had this thought process that if I wasn't partying and having those type of stories, that no one would be interested. And it, like, my identity was so tied to it, I guess. And, yes, I'm happy to know that I can still bring the hot mess. And it's Just who I am. And I was thinking about that today because in Vegas, when I was with you last, I packed and I didn't try on my outfit, and I brought this skirt, and my asshole was just out the entire.

[Chelsea Handler]

I turn your asshole out a lot?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. Like, you've seen my asshole more than you haven't. And I was like, you know what? Yeah. It's not the alcohol. Like, that's just. It's me.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you're in love now, too.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, your Instagram is filled with naked pictures of your ass out. Like, your skirt comes up to here. And. Not that I'm. You know, who am I to talk? Obviously, I'm naked all the time, too. So it's not a judgment.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's just a clarification.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I think.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think people have gathered that for sure. I'm definitely naked.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, you're naked and you like it, and I do. And then. And that's fine.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Why.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why wouldn't you.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I like duality these days. You know, sometimes it's a turtleneck and sometimes it's hole out. And we don't always know what we're going to get.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Well, like, recently you posted a picture. You were, like, lying on a table at a party, but, like, you had a napkin covering your behind. So it was like, hole out, but keep it classy.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it a panty liner?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, I think it was, like, a dirty napkin that I wiped the buffalo sauce on like, 30 seconds prior. And some things just. Yeah, they never change.

[Chelsea Handler]

But what does your boyfriend think about you and your behavior?

[Tana Mongeau]

He is truly the most patient person I have ever met. And I definitely have these moments where I'm, like, radicalized. I'm like, you should leave me. Like, I. I put him through, and he loves it, and I don't know how or why. And I think that's where I feel very lucky. But he is. He's the sound, responsible guy who, like, loves the entertainment of me. And it's even right now, I'm like, I was fostering a dog. I failed. I adopted him. The dog's pissing everywhere. He's like, was this really the best idea? Like. And I'm just. But I'm like, I bring the whimsy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah. You bring the chaos.

[Tana Mongeau]

What? I tell myself to sleep at night.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, yeah, the guy I'm dating so calls me a sexy tornado.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am so. That's honestly an amazing compliment.

[Chelsea Handler]

It is. I like to be a sexy tornado. That's exactly what I was aiming to do. In life.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, 100%.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. So I feel like you might be in a similar situation because your boyfriend's Hawaiian. So it takes you to Hawaii quite often. Did you just buy a place there?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, I did.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. So, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And that's. It's so nice to just go there and remember that LA is kind of just this fake bubble and like this. And love LA for what it is. But, like, meet people with values and meet people who are just. They're calmer, they're just. I've never had chill a day in my life. I'm from Las Vegas, I moved to LA. Like, I'm going 100 miles a minute, I'm screaming, my hole is out. Like, you know, just. It's nice to have the calm mixed in.

[Chelsea Handler]

I saw something Minnie Driver posted, just talking about how everyone should go to Hawaii at some point in their life because how peaceful and magical the land is, which is true. Like, when you go there, you do have a feeling that you don't feel elsewhere. Like, you can't compare Hawaii to another place really, that I visited.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I agree.

[Chelsea Handler]

Even though, like, the topography or, like, climate would be the same or similar in like Bali, it's totally different than Hawaii. Hawaii, you know, like, all of the stuff is different. And Hawaii is singular in that, I think, like. And there's a very healing vibe that you get when you get off the plane in Hawaii and they hand you a lei and you're like, am I on the fucking love Boat right now?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

It's like, I don't deserve this. Take the lei off me. You know what I mean? Like, give it to someone. Exactly.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're like, this class. This must have taken a lot of time. And how did you. And I'm wearing. Yeah. And then I'm like. And it smells so fresh and it really sets the tone for your trip. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I'm wearing like a buffalo sauce stained aloe hoodie. And it's like someone else deserves.

[Chelsea Handler]

What do you do with all your lays when you get off the plane?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

I.

[Tana Mongeau]

They stopped doing it at the airport and they mainly will do it at, like, resorts and stuff like that. But people put them in the fridge, they preserve them. Like, I preserved a few. I didn't know I was a preserver until I met him.

[Chelsea Handler]

Until you met him.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's another good one. And it is just great. I mean, I think that the thing I love the most about him is how responsible he is. And I think that when you are. At least when I was writing out a list of things that I wanted in a partner or would find sexy and find attractive. My whole life, I was never like, I want a responsible man. Like, I think he was everything that I didn't know I needed. Which is beautiful in that way. You know, you think you know exactly what you want in a partner, and it's almost like we are opposites in a lot of ways. But it like, works. You know, there's, there's a yin and a yang that, yeah, balance out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Because two hot messes don't work together at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I think for so long I wanted that. And then it's like, wait, yeah, I did too. My boyfriend's like, tick tock dancing and cheating on me on Snapchat and I that where. How did I get here? You know?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Do you have fitness and wellness questions? Well, Chelsea's personal trainer Ben Bruno is about to guest on an episode. So write into dearchelsea podcastmail.com with all your fitness and wellness questions.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're probably hearing a lot about longevity right now. I know I am. And I know I care about it. And when it comes to skin, aging is linked with a decline in cellular energy. As that energy decreases, skin doesn't regenerate or renew itself as efficiently. And that's when you start to see dullness, fine lines and loss of firmness. Obagi Medical has been trusted by dermatologists for over 35 years. Their newly launched facial serum, New Gen Cellular Renewal Serum is powered by NAD and supports skin's natural renewal processes at the skin cell level. In clinical testing, skin appeared up to six years younger after 12 weeks. Learn [e-mail] and new customers can use code Chelsea15 for 15% off qualifying orders. Terms apply. For business owners and entrepreneurs, there is a constant challenge getting things done fast and done well. Why not have both? That's why wix Harmony stands out. It's an AI website builder that helps create a website quickly without compromising your vision. A fully functional site can be built for any business just by describing the idea. Then you can choose to chat with AI or edit everything manually to get it exactly right. There's also Aria, an AI agent available to answer questions or help complete tasks. And here's what makes it even better. Aria doesn't just live in a chat box. You can click anywhere on your site and ask her to make changes instantly. It's these details that make creating with Wix Harmony feel seamless. Join millions of businesses already using WIX and try WIX Harmony for [e-mail] Harmony that's wix.com Harmony in New Zealand. Quality is an acclaim. It's the standard K9 natural baked and coated starts with premium animal ingredients from grass fed red meat to cage free poultry and sustainably sourced fish. With 40% high protein and no meals, fillers or grains, every bite delivers real nutrition. Light, crispy pieces are baked then coated in rich bone broth for incredible taste and whole body health support. Baked and coated from K9 Natural. Use code Chelsea20 for 20% off your first order at US K9feline.natural.com this show is brought to you by Better Help. For some, summer is their favorite season, Travel picks up, kids are out of school and adventure is the focus for others. Juggling it all can be tough and can lead to overwhelm and counting down the minutes until the kids are back in school, adding to the worry that you're wasting the days of sunshine. You know, I'm on tour this summer, but I'm also determined to kick back and relax at home now that my house is finished. Carving out time for yourself has to be intentional. Setting boundaries for yourself and with others can be tricky. And that's where BetterHelp comes in. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 6 million people globally. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. There are 12 plus years of experience in industry leading match fulfillment rates means they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer. Find support and therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] dearchelsea that's betterhelp.com dearchelsea I wanna talk about your new podcast which is called Brand Safe.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, this is actually the first, first time I'm talking about it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. This is very exciting because I'm gonna throw up cause you've been talking about this a lot to me personally. We're talking about launching this podcast. Yeah, it's called Brand Safe. And you've had, you've come from two other successful podcasts, one of which you ended, one of which you're still doing, right?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. Okay. So do you want to talk a little bit about those two podcasts at all? Why you ended one, why you decided to start one on your own?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Yeah, let's go I mean, so cancelled is the one that ended up. And it was like such a magical time. I look at it as this, like, really fucked up scrapbook that I get to show my kids one day. And we were just young and party. I was partying a lot, at least in Los Angeles, and kind of coming on and just airing people out. Like, I was definitely a lot crazier in that regard. I was going out and I would always say I was collecting lore, you

[Chelsea Handler]

know, it was kind of like my Chelsea, lately, you are canceled.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's funny, because today when we shoot Brand Safe, that was one thing I wanted to talk to you a lot about, is just all of the different reinventions and rebirths you've had and how you. And if you hold hands with all of these different eras that you've had and stuff. Because I find that very interesting and that's how I feel now that I'm in this rebirth. But I could have never gotten here without that girl. And she was very messy and she did a lot of things that I need to make reparations for probably until the day I die. Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But it was very entertaining and it was. Was an amazing time. And then just towards the end of it, I did. I got sober. I fell in love. I was talking about Green Juice and like my ibs and like, I didn't have the interesting, chaotic things to bring to the table as much, you know. And Brooke, my co host, same thing. She got married and it just. It became this, like, beautiful ending where we ran off into the sunset and it was time to end it, you

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

And it was just. It was also in la every week it was a different lifestyle. Like now I'm kind of shooting everywhere and stuff, just doing something more, I guess, on Brand with my lifestyle now. You know, I was holding on to, like, a version of myself that I needed to, you know, part ways with.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I think that's the natural evolution of somebody who's actually like, you know, thinking about life instead of just like, having life happen.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. Wow, that was really sweet.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's true. Like, we grow up and like, if you're not growing up at some point, it's not interesting.

[Tana Mongeau]

I agree. I think. And for so long again, I was tied to this idea where if I grew or if I was doing anything with substance or intelligence, that I was, no one would be interested. And it got to this point where I was like, that's just not true. And my fans are amazing for that, for showing up for me, no matter what. And it did. It started to feel kind of regressive and repetitive and like, just the drama centric stuff also is. Can be very taxing on your mental health if you're not wanting to stand in the line of fire, if you're not wanting to deal with all the discourse and the clips and the commentary and stuff. And yeah, it came to this, like, very poetic end.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

And.

[Chelsea Handler]

Great.

[Tana Mongeau]

I still can't shut the up. So here I am continuing to.

[Chelsea Handler]

So what's the story with your parents?

[Tana Mongeau]

God, do you have a. Do you have a week?

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, just give us. Just give us the sound bites.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, I know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I just read.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

I didn't know.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, just give me a clip.

[Chelsea Handler]

I didn't know this well. I just. I didn't know this about you. And I was reading your notes and it said you haven't spoken to them since you were 13. And I was like, oh, or you

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

moved out when you were 13, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

I wish I could have fucking moved out when I was 15. I wanted to move out when I was six.

[Tana Mongeau]

That is why I resonate with you so hard. I think that when you speak even about, like, your thoughts as a child, especially in this last book, you did a lot of that. You know what I mean? You talk about how you knew you were destined for first class, you were destined for a different life, that they weren't gonna necessarily do it for you. And you knew that from a very young age, which I feel like a lot of people don't necessarily grow up like that. There is. They have much more naivety to their childhood, you know, And I feel I was very similar to you in that regard. Where I woke up in this world, I was born into it. And I was like, oh, you people are.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I was like, morons. The idea that your parents are like, I've definitely never felt unsafe in my home, you know, it wasn't like that. But the idea that my parents were the ones that were going to take care of me was ludicrous. Like, I was like, this is not a possibility.

[Tana Mongeau]

Exactly, Chelsea. And I think that is the difference. I think my home was also a very unsafe home. It was very turbulent in a lot of ways. I mean, my dad was in the Vietnam War. He had a lot of PTSD. They were both older, born in the 50s, just very out of touch and with everything. And my mom was very depressed and just the. The. I hate to call her the common case of a victim of lots of failed abusive relationships, but that's what it was, you know, and yeah, from a very young age, I knew, like, this is just not gonna fit, you know? And my best friend's family was very kind to start taking me in from 13 on and just giving me the good meal on the table, showing me that a holiday should celebrate, showing me that there can be happy moments and that love is unconditional. My parents were also extreme narcissists. And narcissistic abuse is also just very hard to go through because you're never going to get the accountability or the apology or the growth. Yes, exactly. And it eventually got to a point, I think, where it just continued to snowball. And I realized I was. Because I spent a lot of my childhood, I guess, trying to make them into something better, like hoping, living on this edge of hope, that they would wake up one day and grow. And eventually it was just like, like, this isn't going to happen. And I have to go. No contact for my mental health. That was right after they sued me. That was kind of like a big catalyst.

[Chelsea Handler]

What did they sue you for?

[Tana Mongeau]

Slander and defamation.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because you were talking about them publicly.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. And I had had an MTV show, and on the reality show, I was kind of detailing what my childhood was like. And that was super hard for me because I was like, not only was I telling the truth, I was telling 1 1000th of the truth, you know, so it was. It was a cash grab. And it was one of those things where it was like. And that was just the thousandth time where that was all I felt like, you know what I mean, was a check to them. And, you know, they wanted to take credit for all of my success and we made you. And if anything, everything I was was to fight them for so long and was to be nothing like them, I guess, you know. And, yeah, eventually it had to be no contact just for my mental health. Good for you and thank you. I think so many people, you know, they want to argue that, right? Because they don't understand. They want to be like, but it's your blood and it's your parents. And I always just try to tell people, it's like if someone is no contact with their family, it means they have tried everything. Like, that's never. It's not option one. You know what I mean? You try and you try and you try and you fail. And I don't know. Now I've finally made a lot of peace with that. I think for a while I was drinking about that. I think for a while. Yeah, yeah, I was angry And I think I got to a full point of just empathy that they weren't that generation, too. Like, mental health was not a thing for their generation. And just so many different, different things.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's just also a nice lesson to talk about and to think about. Cause you've got me thinking about all the different ways in which you can find parents in life.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's so true.

[Chelsea Handler]

And like, mothers, parents, like, I feel like I mother a lot of young people in my life happily. Like, I love it. I want to, you know, like, I want to be a big sister or however these girls in my life see me is. Like, I want to be there and, like, fill in the gaps. Because I know so many people who have parented me that are not my parents and my siblings very much so parented me growing up. And it's like, it can come from anywhere. And it's very nice to be able to, because it's such a struggle to let go of the expectation of your parents treating you the way that you see other parents treat their children in happy homes.

[Tana Mongeau]

Speak that truth, Chelsea. It's very true. I mean, I think that I always describe it as a void that I eventually had to make friends with. Right. Like, I think for so long, it was this void that I was trying to fill, and I was just trying to fill it and fill it and fill it, but it was endless, you know? And eventually it was like, yes, if right now I walked outside and I saw a dad teaching his little girl on a bike, I'm going to be like, I was robbed of that. I never got that. There's still going to be moments where I'm aware of that in the void. But I think that the peace came from stopping, trying to fill it and, you know, being grateful for the things that I had in other avenues and the people who did step in. Even when you text me and you call me Oopsie or you call me Poopsie, and I know what that means to you. Like, I'm so grateful for all of the people in my life who have stepped up and shown me love and someone I can look up to and just family and just all the different things, you know, I feel so blessed. And I always try to be the poster child for that to, like, you know, for the girls out there who are like, I'm going, no contact. I'm like, you will find a new normal that fulfills you.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

What is one of the things that you've learned about yourself that you're really proud of through getting sober? Like, I'm sure you're really proud of that, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah. And for so long, I think I couldn't even. I was so self deprecating. And I think that a lot of times too, the. The world wanted to be deprecating me. The world wanted to be kind of saying these awful things about me. So I almost was living in this mindset where it's like, I'm gonna get to it before them, you know what I mean? I'm gonna get to the self deprecating punchline before them. And it was. It ended up, obviously, and then with the drugs and the alcohol and all of that, spiraling into a lot of self hatred. And this is kind of the first time in my life where I'm like. Like, I might still be a little messy, but I can be a role model and I am proud of myself and I am resilient as fuck. And I did, like, build all of this for myself with no fucking help. I made it out of. I was dealt the shittiest fucking hand ever.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you lived in Vegas growing up,

[Tana Mongeau]

which I knew the Texas Holdemands before I knew the ABCs. Like, come on.

[Chelsea Handler]

Growing up in Vegas is something that I find unfathomable. I read Andre Agassiz's book. I don't know. Have you ever read that book?

[Tana Mongeau]

No, but I will now.

[Chelsea Handler]

He grew up in Vegas, and I just. I found that book to be so depressing on so many levels because his father forced him to be a tennis player when he didn't want to and, like, bought a house and built a tennis court in the back. But Vegas just is, like.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

To me.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I guess, you know, I don't live there, so I don't know. And I can't speak from experience, but it just seems dire.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, you hit the nail on the head, Chelsea. I think by six years old, I was like, why the are we raising kids here? You know what I mean? As a child, I was well aware because, right, obviously there are nice enclaves. Right? There are the children who were born in Summerlin and they played tennis their whole life and they'd go out to the desert and they went on family trips to California. I'm sure they had a great life. Okay. But the rest of us who were living in poverty in Las Vegas, it is dark. I think it's a city that runs on, like, sex and money and alcohol and all of the dark things in the world. I think I really.

[Chelsea Handler]

A lot of.

[Tana Mongeau]

Even in writing my book right now, I'm almost writing about how my Morals were this reverse thing. Like, I was taught horrible morals. And I was taught that, like, you get what you want by lying and manipulating and scamming and like just all of these things, you know what I mean? And that addiction and substances and that was all normal to cope. And it was almost. My life has been this big thing of unlearning what being brought up in that environment taught me, I guess.

[Chelsea Handler]

Did you have siblings?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

No. Only child. Even more depressing.

[Tana Mongeau]

So depressing. And that was. That's why I'm so grateful for Amari, my best friend. Because, you know, they. He taught me what a sibling is, and they taught me what sibling love is. And yeah, I imagine that my life would be entirely different if I had a sibling, you know, if I had someone to be like, are you fucking seeing this shit?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Cause that's what the thing is about siblings, I think. And I heard Gabor mate, or he's this Canadian psychologist and he talks about like, no two siblings have the same experience. And I would argue against that. Like, my brothers and sisters commiserate all the time about what it was like. They're the only other people that know exactly what it was like growing up in my household, which was like, we all had a different set of parents because we were different ages, but we all had the same set of circumstances. And it was ridiculous. Like, you know, they didn't pick us up. They, like, they, you know, there was never gonna be like, breakfast on the table.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes, yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, you know, there was just like, everyone fenn for yourself. And. And it's a nice, like, it's a nice bond to know, you know, because. And also, as we age, you kind of become the opposite or the same of what you grew up with. Mine was immediately like, I am, first of all, I need a housekeeper. Like, you guys are kids. We need a cleaning lady, we need a housekeeper, and I need her to live with me. And you know what I mean? Like, that was the first thing that I needed. I needed a brand new car because my dad was a used car dealer. I'm like, I'll never drive a used car once I have enough money. It was just all of the things that I found to be an ick were it.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you feel like some of your siblings ended up being more similar?

[Chelsea Handler]

My sister's a little bit. Yeah, I have. I have two. I have a brother and a sister who are a little bit more like scrappy. You know, they're just kind of like hustlers. I mean, we're all hustlers I'm a hustler for sure, but they hustle in a way that is just kind of like smacking things together and like, you know, on the move, kind of fast and loose. And I'm just like, I have that too. But I, it's. Mine is a little bit more like, I have standards of operation and they're up here, you know what I mean? There's gotta be a level of standard of operation for me. Like, I don't like anything below that standard. Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I love that about it, especially

[Chelsea Handler]

as I get older. I'm like, I don't have time for that. You know what I mean? I'm too fucking busy. I don't have time for it. And I have no problem saying I have no time for it.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I think that if a man did it, no one would blink. And you have been the person that has spearheaded that. You've always been that way. You know what I mean? You know what you want and you're gonna get it and you're not gonna fucking apologize for it, which, right, is so inspiring. It really is.

[Chelsea Handler]

So what do you like when you think about this new podcast? And like, you know, like what, what do you have in mind? Like, what do you want to do? What do you want to accomplish?

[Tana Mongeau]

I think that calling it Brand Safe, obviously there's some irony there, of course.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like you're not safe.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. At all. No one's safe. But at the same time, I am in this new era where I care and sometimes I understand that maybe I don't need to say that a crazy thing that's going to get me in a bunch of trouble. And I'm, you know what I mean? I'm, I'm working with companies because they're less disgusted with associating with me. And I think that what I want to do with Brand Safe really is I want to have a lot of conversations that I've never gotten to have online. I want people to almost feel like they're in my phone and they're in my group chat. And while you are a powerhouse and a celebrity and amazing and you are coming on today as my first guest, Best, I'm not just trying to have a bunch of back to back big names and stuff. I think I want to talk to almost similar to life will be the death of me. The way that you really dove into talking to like psychologists and therapists and all those things. I want to do that I want to have my best friends on and I want to just have the conversations that we have in bed and just like, bring people almost even closer into my life. I've been filming a lot of them in Hawaii, where I'm just talking about childhood, talking about dating. It's almost like. Like, I spent so much time gathering this lore and falling down, and now I finally have stood up. And I want to use what I've learned to help the girlies know that they too, can wake up one day and say, I'm brand safe now. And they can wake up one day and reinvent in any way they want, even if people perceive them differently like, that you can carve out your own path. And I'm so brand safe now.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah, that's so true. And we have so many similarities in our, like, you know, direction. Trajectory. That's the word. That's the word that could replace journey trajectory. Trajectory is better. Yeah, that's better. That's better. Because we are. We have, like. It's very analogous, like, the partying. Da, da, da. Realizing how you're coming across, feeling a little bit harsh about how you come across, feeling a little bit like, okay, maybe I need to, like, pump the brakes on this. Like, I totally relate to all of that. And I think that's a very natural thing for anybody in their 20s and 30s to be thinking about, you know, and to see people on the other side of it and to see people, like, going through the pain of. It's not a breakup with yourself because it's a different version of yourself. But in a sense, you are kind of breaking with your past. And some people get uncomfortable with that. You know, some fans get uncomfortable with that. I was just at this dinner the other night, and as this woman who's pretty famous producer, she came up to me at this dinner. And I've known her over the years. We've always been cordial and whatever, but I don't know her well. And she came up to me and she sat down next to me and she's like, I just wanna let you know that I have seen so many changes in you over the course of the last five, ten years. She goes, it's really beautiful. You've really come into your own, and you're just a total, solid sister woman. I know we have a ton of mutual friends, and I just know I used to be scared of you. This is a woman who runs Hollywood, by the way. So the fact that she's telling me she used to be scared of me, I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? She's like. She's like, but I Used to be just. You were just not, you know, like, not. Not easy to be around or. It's like I was scared to be around you. Not scared of you, but like, scared to be around you.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

I.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really unsafe, maybe. You know, I definitely heard that before. People are like, I feel unsafe around Chelsea.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I'm like, what do you think I'm gonna do? And they're like, we don't know what you're gonna do. That's what's so scary.

[Tana Mongeau]

I couldn't relate more. And it is. Yeah, it's really nice. I feel like I've been getting a lot of that lately too. And you're right, it's not. It's not a breakup, but it is. It is a rebirth. And I was. I was equating it. This is so Hawaiian of me. But like, I felt like I was like a crab who, like, lost this shell. It doesn't fit anymore. And I'm like, kind of looking for my new one that fits, you know?

[Chelsea Handler]

And then that transitional period in between those two, it can be really naked. Yeah. It's quite uncomfortable because you're kind of trying on your different versions of yourself.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

As I've said before that. And you're like, does anyone. Do I like me? And. And then there's a period also of self consciousness that I had never experienced before therapy. I became super self conscious for about four, three to four years. And I didn't like that feeling at all.

[Tana Mongeau]

I relate.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I was like, is this how I am now? And it finally subsided. It went away. Thank you. I am no longer self conscious. Cause I was like, shit, I don't like this. And this is how most people, I think, feel. You know when people always say, like, why are you so confident? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just this way.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't have like an elixir, but I mean, I can try and help you. But when I felt that way for a few years, I was like, oh, this isn't. This is an uncomfortable feeling.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah, that's what it was.

[Chelsea Handler]

Second guessing your interactions and thinking, overthinking about what you said.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

How you said it. Whereas before I would just say something and fucking forget about it for two years and then find out five years later I totally offended somebody.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Chelsea.

[Tana Mongeau]

I literally. I couldn't agree with something more because it was like, I think I lived my life up until the past three years not even knowing what the word anxiety meant. And like, sometimes I will look back and almost romanticize that you know, it's like, it's awful. And you are making reparations forever and you're saying all the crazy things and stuff, but anxiety. And I had never met. You know what I mean? I was just living no holds barred, going 100 miles per hour. It didn't matter who I pissed off. It didn't matter what I said.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Like.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, either I drink it away or I would just keep doing it. It didn't matter. And then it was like, almost across this transitional phase, I did start to be like, oh, my God, I need to think before I speak. And then almost overcorrecting. I think there was a second where I swung the pendulum so far and I'm like, okay, I'm acting like fucking Mother Mary. Like, I don't. It doesn't need to be that. You know what I mean?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

You.

[Tana Mongeau]

You are opinionated and you are loud, and it's like, it's finding this. This middle ground and there is a lot of anxiety and. And perception and thinking about all of your past selves and like, I guess almost regret as well. Like, it's. It's balancing all these things out, you know, and it's. It is an anxious period. But yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back with Tana Mongeau.

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[Chelsea Handler]

For business owners and entrepreneurs, there is a constant challenge getting things done fast and done well. Why not have both? That's why Wix Harmony stands out. It's an AI website builder that helps create a website quickly without compromising your vision. A fully functional site can be built for any business just by describing the idea. Then you can choose to chat with AI or edit everything manually. Manually to get it exactly right. There's also Aria, an AI agent available to answer questions or help complete tasks. And here's what makes it even better. ARIA doesn't just live in a chat box. You can click anywhere on your site and ask her to make changes instantly. It's these details that make creating with Wix Harmony feel seamless. Join millions of businesses already using Wix and try WIX Harmony for [e-mail] Harmony that's wix.com Harmony in New Zealand. Quality is an acclaim. It's the standard K9 natural baked and coated starts with premium animal ingredients from grass fed red meat to cage free poultry and sustainably sourced fish. With 40% high protein and no meals, fillers or grains, every bite delivers real nutrition. Light, crispy pieces are baked then coated in rich bone broth for incredible taste and whole body health support. Baked and coated from K9 natural use code Chelsea20 for 20% off your first order at US K9 feline when it's time to get a new car, where do you start? Car shopping can be honestly a little overwhelming, but it should be fun. Buying your next car should be exciting. And it can be. And if you can remember one thing, it's cars.com My dad was a used car salesman, so I know way more than I want to about the car buying process. And that means I also know how to get a good deal. And that's also why I'm uniquely qualified to tell you how easy it is to find the Perfect car on Cars.com Cars.com has the tools and expert advice to help you figure out what vehicle is right for you. Their site is super easy to use, and their advanced search filters allow you to filter over 2 million new and used cars to find the exact car that you're looking for. Every review is written by a real person, reflecting a real life experience. That's how you know you can trust the dealerships on cars.com cars.com features transparent deal ratings, including tools and badges to help shoppers understand the price of a vehicle and find the best deal. Finding a good deal is pretty important, and by understanding how a car's price compares to others in the area, Cars.com will help seal the deal. So don't take any chances. Do car shopping the easy way. Start your search with cars.com where to next? And we're back you guys with Tana Manjil.

[Dr. Joy]

Perfect.

[Tana Mongeau]

It honestly makes me so uncomfortable. Like because I'm so even in Vegas, you're like, tana, get over here. Like, and I just, I can't wait to unpack that trip on my podcast.

[Chelsea Handler]

That was when I met Cowboy.

[Tana Mongeau]

So that's what I wanted to know is if it was that trip or the trip. After.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was the trip. You were you. Because you. We stayed the night after. Remember my Karen, my assistant, was with us. And that whole group of girls.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And we went to Alanis. Yeah. And then we went to Alanis. And then after Alanis, I went back to the casino. Cause all those girls had lost my money. I lost, like, three grand, including me.

[Tana Mongeau]

I lost your money.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's okay. But that's what it's for. And then I came back the next night. I was like, let me go win that money back. I know I can win. And so I went back with my friend Terrence from New York. And you met Terrence, too, right? Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

Was Terrence the guy you were absolutely hazing? You kept telling him to get up. Cause he was bad luck.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, no, that was someone else. Like this poor man just trying to gamble.

[Tana Mongeau]

And Chelsea's like, get the fuck out of my face. Someone else needs to be in your fucking seat. But it's also, you have this, like, cunty power where when you're not the person being hazed by her, you're like, oh, my God. You feel like her little teacup chihuahua.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're like, yeah, get him. He was throwing the table off. It wasn't Terrence. I don't think it was some other guy, but I can't remember who it was. But he was throwing the table off because he didn't know how to gamble. And I was like, just get out of here.

[Tana Mongeau]

So funny.

[Chelsea Handler]

But the next night when I did, that was the night I met Cowboy. So you were there. So you were there with me. So your energy helped me.

[Tana Mongeau]

That makes me so happy. I want to hear all about this, too. You guys are very cute, by the way.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Like, just such an attractive couple together.

[Chelsea Handler]

You should have seen us in Istanbul together, everyone. We would walk down the street, and people would be like, hollywood. Hollywood.

[Tana Mongeau]

I mean, they don't.

[Chelsea Handler]

They don't have that accent, but they were screaming Hollywood. And I was like, God, we really stand out. Like two sore thumbs. And it's like, well, because no one is blonde. There you go. No, I don't think anyone is here to stay.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I assume that he is a man who kind of owns that and knows how you operate and is enjoying it.

[Chelsea Handler]

He's definitely seeing how I operate. And he knows it could be over in a second.

[Tana Mongeau]

But I think that's hot, too. When someone can kind of be like, I know that. But I'm here. I'm here for the ride.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I'm down and I mean, I always ask you about this. We know that you. I don't know. I don't want to say you don't love. Not monogamy, but you're not looking for long term, forever partners. Partner.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I'm not opposed to monogamy. Like, if I'm in a relationship, it's not like I'm having. If I'm in a relationship, that's defined as a relationship. Like we're seeing each other. Yeah. It's not like I have to go fuck a bunch of other guys.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

But if I'm casually sauntering throughout the world and meeting people in different places, those aren't relationships. Those are casual encounters.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And even if I see somebody, a couple. Cowboy. Cowboy. I'm seeing cowboy right now. That's exclusive. But, but, but I mean, that's about all I can really fucking handle.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's long distance, which is my favorite. I like long distance.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes. You need distance.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I need distance. And everyone needs distance from me as well. When I'm working and when I'm here in town, I don't have time for any fucking distraction. Like, I really don't. I just want to hit the ground running, get all my shit in a row so that I can go and relax.

[Tana Mongeau]

Where does he live?

[Chelsea Handler]

He lives in Florida. So that's a big problem. And why have you gone to Florida?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

No.

[Tana Mongeau]

Do you think across the duration of this relationship you will even ever set foot in his parts?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's unlikely, but possible.

[Tana Mongeau]

Is it like a Tampa, like sad sad?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Or is it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't want to say. I don't even want to say where it is. I don't love Florida. My feelings about Florida have nothing to do with Floridians. They have to do with the politics of the state. And for some reason, even though there are states that are commensurate or worse than Florida, Florida sticks out to be like a sore thumb of just dysfunction. They're burning books. I hate all that shit. I hate the politics. I hate Desantis. Texas, I feel like, is a hopeful place. Like Texas. I feel like we can flip at some point. And that's why I still fuck with Texas.

[Tana Mongeau]

No, Florida's staying the same.

[Chelsea Handler]

Florida is just not open, Carry. I don't like that. I don't like. Yeah, I just.

[Tana Mongeau]

Even the Miami of it all, like, those people, those men especially, like, it is just. It's lawless in the worst way.

[Chelsea Handler]

What about your guy? Is he permanent?

[Tana Mongeau]

Is it what? Permanent? Like, am I.

[Chelsea Handler]

Aren't you engaged?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm not engaged.

[Chelsea Handler]

Would you get engaged?

[Tana Mongeau]

I would get engaged. He's pretty permanent to me. Yes, he is. Honestly, I think that I used to very much so be a grass is always greener type of girl. One foot in the door, one foot out the door with a lot of people. And when I really look at him, when I really put it all out on paper and Lord knows I have, like, I'm making a Venn diagram. I'm trying to convince myself and like, whatever, I. When I really put it all out there, I don't think I would ever find anyone better. And I think that that's, like, that's what it is for me. You know what I mean? I'm like, you're the best and I

[Chelsea Handler]

love you and so do you think you'll get married?

[Tana Mongeau]

Honestly?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

I think that it'll be Tana style. It'll be like a Vegas.

[Chelsea Handler]

I have to be there for your wedding.

[Tana Mongeau]

I am. Would be so excited. I think I'll invite you to the Hawaii one because I think the Vegas one would just gross you out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I think so, too.

[Tana Mongeau]

It would make you really sad.

[Chelsea Handler]

Sad.

[Tana Mongeau]

My actions across, across. All like, okay, we just got married. Can we go gamble? Like, that's going to be my energy for that one.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that's fine. I'll come for the gambling part. Yeah, that's true. Okay, well, that's really sweet. I'm happy for you.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm happy for you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, thank you.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I feel like even to see you've been sending me so many cute photos of you guys and stuff, you're very, like, proud of this relationship, which I love to see.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I like to be representative of what I like to be honest about what's happening in my life. So, like, I didn't hard launch a relationship. I just was throwing in pictures of him in my carousels because that's somebody I was spending a lot of time with. So I also find it weird when, like, you, you know, like, to go on a trip with somebody for two weeks and then post 20 pictures of yourself alone without the person is kind of a big fuck you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you know what I mean? So, like, I don't. I'm not trying to, like, people are like, well, didn't you learn your lesson with Jo Koy? No, I didn't learn my lesson because I'm gonna be honest about my life. Life.

[Tana Mongeau]

I love that as well.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't care if we break up.

[Obagi Medical Representative]

That's.

[Tana Mongeau]

That's.

[Chelsea Handler]

Then we Break up. That doesn't matter about. You know what I mean?

[Tana Mongeau]

I really like that energy. I feel like I see a lot in this space. People have one bad public, or not even bad, just public breakup, and they write it all off forever. And it's like, I don't know. I could never do that. So I guess I resonate more with your side. Like, I'm. I suck at keeping things to myself.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. You know, and I'm not. I don't take things so seriously that I can't share them.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. It's a relationship. It's like, it may last, it may not. Who knows? We'll find out.

[Tana Mongeau]

What do you like the most about him? What's. Like, what is.

[Chelsea Handler]

He has a great voice, and I love that. I like a real strong male voice. Yeah. Deep voice. Haven't you met him?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

No.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

No, not yet.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, okay.

[Tana Mongeau]

How do you two know each other, too? Not to Internet.

[Chelsea Handler]

Chocolatesingles.com.

[Tana Mongeau]

i love that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, we met each other. We were both looking for black men.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm gonna tell people that's where we. We met, honestly.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, you should, actually. They probably fucking believe you.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

What were we saying? Oh, what do I like about him? I mean, you know, I don't know. There's a lot alike about him. He's very gentle. He's a gentleman. And I was like. I was pretty grossed out by men. I have to say, straight men in general have been pretty disappointing of late. And this whole political backdrop is just representative of where men have fallen short by not protecting our rights, not protecting the people's, like, you know, rights that don't impact them directly. Lgbtq, trans, black, you know, people of color, like white guys, just seem to not know how to, like, organize on behalf of other people.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because their rights are never really infringed upon. And you're like, hello. So it was very refreshing for me to meet a man that saw me, and I was a hot mess the night he saw me, too. I was stoned and drunk and gambling and running that table. Like, when we left there, there was a line waiting at that blackjack table because we had turned it into a fucking gold mine. And I was betting I was splitting twos against a king and winning. I was like, watch this.

[Tana Mongeau]

And the attitude you get, It's a birthday attitude.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was watching Kimmel, and he was saying I was telling him the story because he didn't know I was seeing someone. And then it came up about the travels. He's like, who'd you go away with? And I told him the story about how I met him, and he goes, you honestly sound like James Bond. He's like, you sound like a female James Bond. And I was like, that's really fucking funny.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Ye.

[Chelsea Handler]

But, yeah, I like that he can take it. Because it's a lot.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm a lot. I'm not.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm like. You like, good. Good luck if you agree with me. Good fudgeing luck.

[Tana Mongeau]

And I think. I don't know if you ever. I don't know if you relate to this, but, like, a lot of times in relationships, I was trying to be a little bit different or just like, maybe dial it back a little bit. And then it was like, this person is not falling in love with me. And then it's like resenting them for that. But I caused that.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I hate being fraudulent. Like, I. When I'm not real, I'm like, you're gross. Like, I hate the fake voice. I hate fake enthusiasm. I hate. I just want to be real and, like, so it's nice to be with someone and be real and like, yeah, I'm a bitch too.

[Obagi Medical Representative]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Also like.

[Tana Mongeau]

And know that they are. They're in it for all of that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Tana Mongeau]

You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

Moody. Sometimes it's gonna be good, and sometimes it's gonna not be great. So that's important to know, cowboy. Yeah. Giddy up. All right, so let's get to the advice portions.

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm stoked.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

We're. First question comes from Naomi, and she says, naomi Campbell it is. In fact.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's always asking for advice.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

She always needs some help. So she is 32 and says, Dear Chelsea, late last year, I underwent full nasal reconstruction to correct poor technique from my previous nose job. Leading up to the surgery, I was very sexually active, driven by a place of scarcity and a fear of being alone. As a trans woman, I've grown accustomed to the mindset that I'm only valued for sex and that love is scarce due to the discrimination women like myself often experience. I can't recall the last time I chose a period of abstinence to focus on myself, but I feel that this healing period is the right time. I found myself falling into promiscuity as part of my identity due to a deep need for intimacy. In the past, this has also led me to endure toxic men, yet I continued to pursue them. My question for you is this. How do you cope with loneliness when you choose abstinence to focus on self healing? What benefits can come from taking a break from men to heal One's broken parts. It feels like it will take forever to heal. And I don't want to be alone. Please feel free to be direct and honest. Your insights mean a lot to me. With lots of love and a bandage nose. Naomi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Naomi.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Hi. How are you guys?

[Tana Mongeau]

We're great.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Tana Mongeau.

[Tana Mongeau]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's our special guest.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Hi, Tana. Hi. Hi.

[Tana Mongeau]

First of all, I just want to

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

say sorry for the barking that you're fine.

[Tana Mongeau]

Normally I'm barking, so I'm coughing usually. That was also just so profound, so well written.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was. I mean, first of all, I love that you're thinking about all of these things because you have such a huge opportunity right now by taking a break and being abstinent and actually like looking into yourself for self love. Like that is exactly what every woman should be doing at a certain point in her life. And this is your point. This is a huge growth opportunity. You're gonna have a really good time by yourself. Being alone doesn't mean that you're lonely. You can start all these new habits and patterns that are gonna set you up for success for the rest of your life. You know, you can wake up every day and first of all, you should be writing down what you're experiencing through this and writing down your commitment to yourself, reminding yourself each day, I am committed to being alone and providing myself with the love I need to be a loving individual in a relationship in the future. That's what you're doing. You're investing in yourself during this period of time. And that's. It is a completely winning situation for you. Nobody's gonna come in and fuck your shit up. You're there to like restore and like sanctify the person that you are so that you become a tree that no one is able to push around or push over. That's the goal.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're also gonna enter whatever does eventually happen next.

[Chelsea Handler]

I thought you were gonna say Aries Rising. You're also about to enter. This is a psychic reading. You're about to enter. Raise my own.

[Tana Mongeau]

Never will I ever. But you, whatever you do, eventually enter, you'll enter as a completely different person, therefore attracting completely different people, therefore garnering new experiences, hopefully more positive ones because of all of the self work and the level of toleration that you will now have. You know, you're not going to be so tolerant of people's or just wanting a sexual identity from you and stuff. I think that the tree analogy is. Chelsea really hit the nail on the head there. You Know you're going to be someone that no one can fuck with because of this period of time.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Thank you. I really appreciate that. It's, it's really hard to cope with being lonely when you're, like I said, when you're trans and you want affection and love and then, I don't know, it's, it's difficult. You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't know what you mean because I'm not trans. But I understand the concept of loneliness and I don't wanna pretend that I can experience what you've experienced. But I will say to you, like, you're not the only person that feels lonely. You're not alone. And I think that you should a, like, what practices do you have set in place today? Like, what, do you journal? Do you have a gratitude journal? Like, do you meditate? What do you do?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

I actually do stand up comedy to help. I laugh at myself all the time. I say having a nose job is a Jewish rite of passage. And, and you know, I, I, I'm able to find catharsis in that.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's great.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Whenever I'm joking about like, you know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And I think you can add some things. That's awesome. First of all, that's fucking hard to do stand up. It takes a lot of balls. I know. And Tana, don't you do stand up too?

[Tana Mongeau]

I'm trying, I'm trying. And even that's. She's right. Like you are doing something that is so hard to do that so many people can't do. And I hope that you start to find community in that as well. And the amount of people in the audience and stuff that just make you feel are grateful that you're there. Because hearing you say I'm lonely, I also just want to be like, we are our words. Right. And the more that you are driving home, I'm lonely, I'm lonely, I'm lonely. Of course you are believing that. You know what I mean? Whereas Chelsea has such a good point where it's like, this might be a period of your life that you are navigating more alone than you've ever navigated any other period of your life. But you're also filling your time in such a good way. You're also filling your time with the passion that you have and you're also like maybe trying to, to make friends in that community and you know, putting forth actions to build a future for yourself where you feel less alone. And I think the second you stop saying I'm lonely, I'm lonely. I'm lonely. And you start saying, like, I'm a powerhouse. I don't need anybody, but I'm going out to do my own thing, and I'm building a less lonely life for myself. You'll start to believe that more and more. Like, unfortunately, some periods of our life are kind of lying to ourselves.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think that's. I think that's great. What she just said is so beautiful. You are building a reservoir. Do you know the analogy that Brene Brown talks about with the marble jar? She talks about friendships and, like, when you have a relationship with someone, like, say, you know, me and my sister, we have so many marbles in the marble jar that it would take something really crazy to take any marbles out. There's so many there that even if something terrible happened, only a couple marbles would be taken out and it would still be forgivable. You know what I mean? Like, we would still be together because we've invested so much into each other. There's been so many exchange of marbles. I want you to think of that about yourself, like, every day that you spend alone. First of all, you should wake up and write down, I love myself. I am incredible. I am capable. I am building a better life for myself. I am going to be grateful for this time that I have alone. Or I am grateful. Just start saying it, like, in the present, Everything that you're grateful for. And I have a gratitude journal in my phone that pops up every morning and night. And sometimes I don't do it, but I usually do. And it is a nice reset. It takes five minutes, but it's a nice thing to write down three or four things that you're grateful for each day. To look outside and be like, I'm grateful for the weather. I'm grateful for that tree that I get to look out that's behind you. I don't know if that is a tree or maybe that's your hair. I can't tell, but that's my hair.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Oh, okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, be grateful for your hair. You know, be grateful for all of the little things that we don't kind of take into account. This is the part of, like, a human experience is to really, really focus on the stuff that you have the time to focus on the stuff that we don't pay attention to every day. So huge opportunity for you. Like, this is beautiful, and this can be transcendent for you. So I do want you to develop and, like, get into patterns that you aren't in yet. You know, I think you should try to meditate. I think you should download the Calm app and just do five to ten minutes a morning. Whether you like it or not. Just commit to it and do that for like, at least 30 days and just see how you feel. Journal about it after. You don't have to sit there journaling for two hours every day, but just say, okay, I just meditated. I didn't feel anything. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I just meditated. I still don't feel anything. I'm gonna try again, whatever it is. Or I just meditated. I felt something. I'm not sure what I felt, but I'm gonna try again tomorrow. Start to set patterns up for yourself. They may seem stupid or trivial or like it's not gonna have an impact. Or if you try it a couple times and you don't feel something significant, you're gonna get like, oh, no, you need to commit to yourself right now. You know, like, I want you to do all of these new habits, whatever. Three you choose. Whether it's journaling, like, do a gratitude thing in the morning, a meditation, and something at night where you're like, thank you so much for this day. This is what I learned. This is something I wanna remember about today. That's one of the prompts in my gratitude journal says, what is something you wanna remember for today? And I always make you think, I love it. Oh, yeah, show up, you know, whatever it is. Like, yeah, I showed up for this when I wasn't in the mood, or I removed myself from the situation when I wasn't in the mood. Like, something I learned that helped me today. Reading for me is always a good resetter. If I could sit down and read for an hour, you know, get some books and f. And read some books to get yourself out of your own head and into someone else's story.

[Tana Mongeau]

Also, I will just say, looking at you, you are absolutely beautiful. Okay, you are already a new. With the new nose. Okay? But you are. You are genuinely about to be in so many ways. And like Chelsea said, I. I can't relate to your scenario specifically, but what I will say is, my best friend in the world, she's trans. And I watched her go through something really, really similar to you where she was kind of leaning into the promiscuous nature. And then therefore, she was attracting people, people who were only attracted to that. And she. It felt very transactional and she was leaving these situations feeling either unsafe or just lower about herself, etc, and then I watched her do the same thing where she Was like, I'm cutting off anyone on this low vibration who just wants me for this. I'm gonna be lonely until I have to be lonely. She worked on her business. That's where the standup comes in. She worked on things she was passionate about. And she met this man that I would die for. He is so incredibly. Just kind, accepting, funny, smart. He's proud of her in every room. And she never thought she would, you know, and it was the second she became this person where she believed she deserved that, and she set these boundaries and these standards there it was all along. But she was never going to attract that person on that low vibration, you know? So I just want to say I've seen it personally, and I believe in you to do it. I really do.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Okay.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Naomi, that doesn't mean I'm not going to have anything, like, in the future, right?

[Tana Mongeau]

What do you mean?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Like, like hookups and getting together with guys and, girl, you were about.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're about to levitate in ways you never knew. Are you kidding me?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

That I think.

[Tana Mongeau]

And you'll see how much more fulfilling it is. I think I had a lot of transactional sex in my life as well. When I was finally, like, making love to someone and, like, knew that they cared about me more as a. More than just a set of holes, I was like, wow, this is.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is amazing. I think that is the difference. You go from fucking to making love.

[Dr. Joy]

Love.

[Chelsea Handler]

Which is a kind of corny thing to say, but it's true.

[Tana Mongeau]

It's the worst thing ever to say. But also, like, you're levitating, I promise.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah. You are. Like, you are investing in this time that you're spending right now. You are investing in your future self.

[Tana Mongeau]

And you start to look back at all the times where you were just giving your energy away to these lizards, and you're like, oh, my God, I'm so happy that I'm. This energy exchange now is mutual and valid, and I'm not going to look back one day, but with, like, disdain and disgust at it, you know?

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Yeah.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

And, Naomi, I also want to say you have value for who you are, regardless of them placing value on you. You have value because of who you are. So I want you to be telling yourself that as well.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Thank you guys so much. And, Chelsea, I'll see you in Chicago in April. I'm so excited.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, awesome. I love that. Okay, great. I'll see you then.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're going to die. She's the best.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Keep us posted.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Okay.

[Dr. Joy]

Naomi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Naomi.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Thank you. I will. Thank you guys so much again.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Love you, Naomi.

[Tana Mongeau]

Bye, gorgeous.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Love you too, Tana. Bye.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back.

[Obagi Medical Representative]

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[Chelsea Handler]

For business owners and entrepreneurs, there is a constant challenge getting things done fast and done well. Why not have both? That's why Wix Harmony stands out. It's an AI website builder that helps create a website quickly without compromising your vision. A fully functional site can be built for any business just by describing the idea. Then you can choose to chat with AI or edit everything manually to get it exactly right. There's also Aria, an AI agent available to answer questions or help complete tasks. And here's what makes it even better. Aria doesn't just live in a chat box. You can click anywhere on your site and ask her to make changes instantly. It's these details that make creating with WIX Harmony feel seamless. Join millions of businesses already using WIX and try WIX Harmony for [e-mail] Harmony that's wix.com Harmony in New Zealand. Quality is an acclaim. It's the standard K9 natural baked and coated. Starts with premium animal ingredients from grass fed red meat to cage free poultry and sustainably sourced fish. With 40% high protein and no meals, fillers or grains, every bite delivers real nutrition. Light, crispy pieces are baked then coated in rich bone broth for incredible taste and whole body health support. Baked and coated from K9 natural use code Chelsea20 for 20% off your first order at us K9 feeds linenatural.com when it's time to get a new car, where do you start? Car shopping can be honestly a little overwhelming, but it should be fun. Buying your next car should be exciting. And it can be. And if you can remember one thing, it's cars.com My dad was a used car salesman so I know way more than I want to about the car buying process. And that means I also know how to get a good deal. And that's also why I'm uniquely qualified to tell you how easy it is to find the Perfect car on Cars.com Cars.com has the tools and expert advice to help you figure out what vehicle is right for you. Their site is super easy to use, and their advanced search filters allow you to filter over 2 million new and used cars to find the exact car that you're looking for. Every review is written by a real person, reflecting a real life experience. That's how you know you can trust the dealerships on cars.com cars.com features transparent deal ratings, including tools and badges to help shoppers understand the price of a vehicle and find the best deal. Finding a good deal is pretty important, and by understanding how a car's price compares to others in the area, Cars.com will help seal the deal. So don't take any chances. Do car shopping the easy way. Start your search with cars.com where to next? Okay, and we're back with Dana.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Okay, we have a question about quitting your job to become an astrologer or threesomes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Threesomes.

[Tana Mongeau]

I also picked three. All right, this one.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

This one's just an email, but Natasha says. Dear Chelsea, I'm struggling a little with my desire for sex. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and while our relationship is amazing and the sex is great, I find myself wanting it more often than he does. Recently, after kissing a few girls, I've been in the mood for a threesome. I know my boyfriend is open to the idea, but I'm unsure the best approach regarding the person and sexual should we consider someone unknown, like meeting someone on vacation? Or is it better to choose someone we know, perhaps a neighbor or someone we meet at a bar in the city? I'm particularly concerned about finding a situation that won't jeopardize our relationship.

[Chelsea Handler]

Not a neighbor.

[Tana Mongeau]

I literally. That's not a neighbor. Please don't do a neighbor.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Fear God, not a neighbor.

[Tana Mongeau]

You're hate getting the mail.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Any advice you could offer would be great. Natasha.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like threesomes too, and I think you should go and find someone at a bar and have it be like an anonymous person and, and just see if you're up for that or like, if they're up for that, you know, and you guys have to like, do that together so that there's trust and like, understand what the situation is before you go into it. Make sure that you guys are like, spelling out the boundaries for each other.

[Tana Mongeau]

I also think the anonymity of the person kind of does create a more secure foundation.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Tana Mongeau]

You always hear the stories of it being the neighbor and the co worker, and then there's problems. And I'm not sitting here. I don't know. Your man, he might be amazing. You know what I mean? But just still, I think that the safest route is the anonymity.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right?

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Yep.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

Someone you never have to see again if you don't want to.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, exactly. And then you just decide how you like that experience and what you learned from it together, and if it was fulfilling or if it was just like a fantasy. But, like, there's nothing wrong with a threesome. Like, there's. I don't have any judgment towards that. Like, I get it.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

All right. Go for it, Natasha.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's also sexy. You know, it's kind of sexy.

[Naomi (Caller/Listener)]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And, like, kind of.

[Tana Mongeau]

There's no harm in trying something and then deciding that you don't like it. But the spelling out of the boundaries is also so important, you know?

[Chelsea Handler]

All right, Tana, I love you. Her new solo podcast is called Brand Safe. It'll be out when this is on you. Please go listen to it. Where do people listen to it?

[Tana Mongeau]

YouTube, Spotify, Apple Music. It's going to be everywhere. And I'm so excited to have you on today. You were my first guest. Y. I am so, so, so excited.

[Chelsea Handler]

We're going. Where are we going?

[Tana Mongeau]

I don't know where we're going.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, me neither, to be honest with you. Okay, well, great. I love you, and I'm so happy you're here.

[Tana Mongeau]

Thank you very much.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm so happy I met you in Burbank. Since. Even though I didn't mean.

[Tana Mongeau]

Oh.

[Chelsea Handler]

The best part about this story is. So we didn't even meet then.

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

I was gonna say, let's start and end with this story.

[Tana Mongeau]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. Cause we didn't even meet then, because I got home, I have a publicity team, a PR team. My favorite people in the fucking world. And Paul and Alec are two gay guys who work on my PR team.

[Tana Mongeau]

You need gays on a PR team?

[Chelsea Handler]

Of course. And they're young, so they are always with it. They understand what's going on. And they were like, oh, my God, this woman you were posting stories about seeing me at the airport. Airport. And they're like, this girl, Tana, she's like, a huge influencer. Chelsea, you would love her. She, like, loves you, and she's posting about you. She's crying. She's got hysterical.

[Tana Mongeau]

Because I didn't know I made the biggest mist. I ultimately decided because also I felt like it was so interesting just karmically, universally our seats were like next to each other. Like just we both booked them and then like, Chelsea's in this seat, I'm in this seat. It's a jet suite plane. We are like this Starbucks cup is what fits in between us. Like we are so close in proximity. And then ultimately I decided I feel like I parasocially know Chelsea Handler pretty well. I know I don't think that she would live for this. That she would. That she is like, yes, it's nighttime. We're on this plane. Like, please bother me. Like, I. I know that. And I was like, if it's meant to be, it will be. And then I went home and obviously I can't shut my trap. So I made 50 TikToks about it. Cause I thought that would be the end of it. My best friend even texted me on the way here and he was just like, how cool is it that like, like go tell you on that plane that like, you would get to have a day like today. And I appreciate you're a busy woman. You're a powerhouse. You don't have to do the things you do. And I think that's what makes it so special is like knowing you don't have to text me at 3am a hilarious video about your day. You don't have to, you know what I mean? Give me all this advice walking through life. You don't have to have a whole podcast day with me, but you do it anyways and that's who you are. So thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you, baby. Thank you. Okay, thank you. That's enough. That's enough. About Me

[Podcast Producer/Host Assistant]

if you want advice from Chelsea, write in to dearchelsea podcastmail.com Dear Chelsea is a production of I Heart Media. Follow Chelsea on All Socials Elseehandler and find Catherine on TikTok lashkadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert Executive producer Kathryn Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea [e-mail].

[Chelsea Handler]

Longevity is getting a lot of attention right now, but one of the earliest and most visible signs of aging shows up on the skin, and that's linked with a decline in cellular energy. As skin loses energy over time, it doesn't regenerate or renew itself as efficiently, leading to dullness, fine lines, and loss of firmness. Obagi's newly launched facial serum New gen Cellular Renewal Serum is powered by NAD and designed to support skin longevity. In clinical testing, skin appeared up to six years younger after 12 weeks. Learn [e-mail] and new customers can use code Chelsea15 for 15% off qualifying orders. Terms apply in New Zealand, quality isn't a claim, it's the standard K9 natural baked and coated starts with premium animal ingredients from grass fed red meat to cage free poultry and sustainably sourced fish. With 40% high protein and no meals, fillers or grains. Every bite delivers real nutrition. Light, crispy pieces are baked then coated in rich bone broth for incredible taste and whole body health support. Baked and coated from K9 natural use code Chelsea20 for 20% off your first [e-mail] the Trump administration and its backers in Congress are messing around with our healthcare. In case you haven't heard, they already passed a law defunding Planned Parenthood that blocks Medicaid patients from getting life saving care lessons like cancer screenings, wellness exams, birth control, STI treatment and more. And now these lawmakers want to shut down health centers by defunding Planned Parenthood permanently. Our communities deserve better. So to learn how you can get involved, Text update to 22422 Listen, I have access to a lot of things that most people don't top dermatologists, high end treatments. But in those circles, the conversation has shifted. Now it's about extending youthful looking skin before invasive eyes options. That's why people in the industry are talking about exosomes. Exosomes are disrupting the beauty world and plated skin science is leading the conversation. Plated has elite award winning technology and over 10 clinical studies with remarkable results. Clinically proven to deliver brighter, firmer, younger looking skin in just weeks. This is more than skincare. It's a cosmetic treatment in a bottle. Visit plated skinscience.com this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.