I Hate Loud with Sam Morril

Summary

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Dear Chelsea – “I Hate Loud” with Sam Morril

Podcast: Dear Chelsea (iHeartPodcasts)
Host: Chelsea Handler
Guest: Sam Morril
Date: September 4, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this humor-packed yet deeply candid episode, Chelsea Handler sits down with standup comedian Sam Morril for a wide-ranging conversation about comedy, relationships, the realities of life on the road, and the annoyances of modern living (including loud bars). The episode covers everything from Sam’s prolific standup output and approach to comedy, to candid discussions about dating within the comedy industry, substance use, family baggage, and listener advice on handling difficult parental relationships.

This summary distills the key themes, engaging exchanges, and sage–if irreverent–advice offered, highlighting notable quotes and moments, along with timestamps for deeper context.

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Main Discussion Topics & Highlights

1. Will Smith’s AI Crowd, Burning Man, and Orgy Tents

[02:34 – 05:17]

• Chelsea and co-host Katherine riff on social media’s uproar about Will Smith’s team adding AI faces to concert crowds, mocking the sloppiness and the move’s Trumpian overtones.
  • “It’s so stupid. And also, it’s so badly done.” – Chelsea, [02:53]
• Burning Man mishaps: dust storms, orgy tents (“the same orgy tent for 20 years”), and Chelsea’s aversion to desert festivals and orgies.
  • “I think it’s a bunch of rich people trying to share for the very first time. And I don’t want to do LSD and get sandblasted.” – Chelsea, [04:32]

2. Sam Morril Joins the Show: Comedy Output, Respect, and Relationships

[06:00 – 13:32]

• Chelsea marvels at Sam’s six standup specials since 2020 (“how is that possible?”), leading to banter about comedians’ lack of mainstream respect.
  • “No, comedians are not respected.” – Chelsea, [07:07]
  • “If we were respected, we’d be boring.” – Sam, [07:09]
• Both discuss the mutual awe comedians and musicians hold for each other’s art forms.
• Substance use in entertainment:
  • “Do you do drugs and drink?” – Chelsea, [08:47]
  • “I drink. I’m scared of drugs.” – Sam, [08:49]
• On dating fellow comics (Chelsea: “It must be hard to date a comic”), they exchange stories on navigating relationships in comedy, including Sam’s high-profile relationship with Taylor Tomlinson.
  • “It was like a sleepover that just went on too long.” – Sam, [11:01]

3. ADD, Focus, and Being a Good Listener

[13:09 – 14:50]

• Both describe their neurodivergent tendencies and struggles with focusing—Chelsea admits to mentally checking out during interviews (“I would literally be thinking about what the fuck I was going to eat”), while Sam says, “I’m observant, but I’m not a great listener.”
• Insights on learning to manage distractions without medication.

4. Family History and Choices About Parenthood

[20:00 – 21:28]

• Sam shares his blended New York family story and questions about having kids: “I don’t know. I think I would like one. I think one is a good number.” [20:21]
• Chelsea jokes about pets being a more manageable substitute.

5. Touring, Life on the Road, and Adventures

[21:28 – 24:50]

• Both comedians compare notes on performing internationally, memorable cities, and the differences between American and European audiences.
  • “It’s really nice to be out of this fucking country.” – Chelsea, [21:49]
• Vacation ambivalence: Sam admits being bad at relaxing and prefers adventures or activity (like swimming at rec centers).
  • “I get really bored.” – Sam, [24:07]
  • Chelsea and Sam debate the merits of rec centers, YMCAs, and road routines versus luxury hotels.

6. Comedy Club Culture: Growth, Experimentation, and the Comedy Cellar

[36:27 – 38:51]

• Chelsea shares why she rarely does LA clubs anymore:
  • “When I’m home, I wanna fucking chill and relax.” – Chelsea, [37:18]
• Sam discusses the importance of working in front of non-fan crowds at NYC clubs for growth, and how performing at The Comedy Cellar helps keep his material sharp.
  • “You stop growing if you don’t do that… At least a little bit.” – Sam, [38:04]

7. Substance Use: Drinking Habits and Drugs

[29:12 – 42:13]

• Both share their thoughts on working with a hangover (“I always have my best shows… when I had a little alcohol in me from the night before.” – Chelsea, [29:21]), maintaining a functional but indulgent relationship with alcohol, and boundaries around substance use in relationships.
• Sam claims, “I’m the type of drunk who tells you how I genuinely feel about you and it’s gonna be good.” [40:55]
• Chelsea’s openness about microdosing LSD and the role of substances in her lifestyle.

8. Listener Call: How To Handle a Dad With Young Girlfriends (“Sun Yi” Situation)

[56:37 – 68:29]

• The episode’s main advice segment: Caller Morgan asks how to navigate her 65-year-old father’s habit of dating (and marrying) much younger women, including his intent to introduce his new 26-year-old girlfriend (“Sammy”).
• Sam and Chelsea weigh in with direct, unsentimental guidance.
  • “Just say, ‘hey, it’s my wedding, you come, but I don’t want her there… it’s your wedding, that’s cool.’” – Sam, [61:52]
  • Chelsea suggests setting boundaries and being realistic about the transactional nature of such relationships.
• Katherine (producer) adds practical advice on inheritance and estate planning for families with this kind of dynamic.
• Chelsea shares a jaw-dropping story about her own father’s behavior after her mother’s passing to underscore her point about older men’s needs and boundaries.

9. Wrap-Up: Dating, Age Gaps, and Why “I Hate Loud”

[68:35 – 71:43]

• Chelsea and Sam discuss their dating age limits and the discomfort of relationships with extreme age disparities.
  • “At a certain point, they’re not talking about anything. They’re just there for, you know… it’s a vessel for your penis.” – Sam, [68:57]
• Sam shares his aversion to loud bars—a sign of aging and the episode’s title inspiration:
  • “I was with a girl eight years younger… she took me to this bar and I was like, this is fucking loud. You get to an age where you’re like, this sucks.” – Sam, [70:25]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the Respect of Standup Comics:
  • “The reason we’re funny is because we’re not respected.”
    — Chelsea Handler, [07:11]
• On Dating Comics:
  • “It was like a sleepover that just went on too long.”
    — Sam Morril (on quarantining with Taylor Tomlinson), [11:01]
• On Being Bad at Vacation:
  • “I get really bored.”
    — Sam Morril, [24:07]
• On Substance Use:
  • “I’m familiar with pills… I wouldn’t say I’m a pill popper.”
    — Chelsea Handler, [41:39]
• On Age Gap Relationships:
  • “I don’t want to date someone who’s just figuring out who they are.”
    — Sam Morril, [70:09]
• On Loud Bars:
  • “I was like, this is fucking loud. You get to an age where you’re like, this sucks.”
    — Sam Morril, [70:25]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 01:18 – Funny riffing on Will Smith’s “AI crowd” and Burning Man chaos
• 06:00 – Introduction of Sam Morril
• 07:56 – Comedy & musicians: mutual awe and substance use
• 11:00 – COVID dating (“sleepover that went on too long”)
• 14:03 – ADD, focus, and the comedian’s mind
• 20:00 – Sam’s family background and thoughts on becoming a parent
• 23:27 – Life on the road, adventure, vacations, rec center routines
• 36:27 – Performing for fans vs. general comedy club crowds; outgrowing LA’s club circuit
• 29:12, 40:36, 41:59 – Alcohol use, hangovers, drugs, and boundaries in dating
• 56:37 – 68:29 – Listener advice call: Dad with young girlfriend (“Soon Yi situation”)
• 70:25 – “I Hate Loud”: getting older, bar noise, and social shifts

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Tone & Atmosphere

• Heavily irreverent, brutally honest, often self-deprecating humor
• Unfiltered takes on both personal and societal issues
• Generous with empathy and clarity in listener advice; willingness to laugh at the absurdities of life

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Conclusion

This episode delivers exactly what “Dear Chelsea” promises: quick wit, frank openness, sideways glances at society’s weirdest corners, and genuinely useful advice. Whether tackling the self-delusion of aging men, the grind and growth of comedy, or just why quiet bars are vastly superior, Chelsea and Sam offer relatable, laugh-out-loud reflections for anyone who’s ever found modern life—and relationships—just a little too loud.

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Next Steps:

• For more Sam Morril, see his standup specials (including “You’d’ve Changed” on Amazon) and follow his Errors Tour (dates at sammorril.com).
• Need advice? Write to [e-mail].

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Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Katherine]

Hey Chelsea Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

What is this Will Smith story that everyone was talking about?

[Katherine]

Oh, my gosh. He did a bunch of shows, and there was legitimately a big crowd there, but for some reason, his team, like, push put a bunch of AI extra faces to make the crowd, like, look even bigger. And everyone's like, why would you do that? This is a Donald Trump move.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's so stupid. And also, it's so badly done. Like, have you seen the pictures?

[Katherine]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

My friend sent it to me. It said, from West Philly to West Swizzy, we love you, Willie.

[Katherine]

The thing is, why would they do that? Because the crowd sizes are big. It's just like, when you see the real photos, there is obviously aisles where people can escape. Like, people know aisles exist where there's no people.

[Chelsea Handler]

So he's on Will Smith.

[Katherine]

I guess so.

[Chelsea Handler]

I blame this on Scientology. I blame everything that's going wrong on Scientology.

[Katherine]

I agree with you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Either that or the Trumps. One of them I blame. So choose your poison. Pick your poison. You know what?

[Katherine]

I think that must be why. Why Burning man blew away. Because, like, Ivanka Trump was there.

[Chelsea Handler]

What the fuck happened?

[Katherine]

Did you hear about this? The Orangey Ted?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, my friend. We were all going to my friend's house in the Hamptons last weekend when I was, and she was going to Burning Man. And so I saw one of those videos on Instagram and forwarded to her. I'm like, is this you? I still haven't heard back from her. I don't even know if she's on the way. So why. What happened to Burning Man?

[Katherine]

I think they just had, like, this huge. I know there was a dust storm there. There was, like, a big windstorm, and there was a dust storm in Arizona, in Phoenix. Did you see this? It looks like the hand of God coming over.

[Chelsea Handler]

I did see that. I did see that. Very ominous. But the Burning man was like. So Burning man just got. I think it got ruined.

[Katherine]

Yeah, I know. The orgy tent that they had spent a week setting up, that's been there for 20 years.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is that right? They have an orgy tent. Another thing I'd find disgusting. Orgies.

[Katherine]

The same orgy tent for 20 years.

[Chelsea Handler]

I remember watching a porn when I was a little girl, and there was a big orgy, and I was like, oh. I was like, do people really do this? And the answer is, no, they don't. Only at Burning man, only in very specific circles.

[Katherine]

Do you have friends that do Burning Man?

[Chelsea Handler]

I do have, like. I think I have, like, one or two people. I once Went on a date with a guy in New York. My friend Sophie set me up with this guy. And the minute we sat down, he started going on about Burning Man. And I said, listen. The second time he said it, I go, listen, I'm not a Burning man person. I don't find that interesting at all. I think it's a bunch of rich people trying to share for the very first time. And I don't want to do LSD on. I don't want to do LSD and get sandblasted. Like, that is not my idea of a good time. And then he kept going on and on about it. And then I did get it. Woe up. We were having dinner in the hotel restaurant of the hotel I was in. My friend showed up, and when she got there, I go, he's your problem now. And I went upstairs to my room and I took a Xanax.

[Katherine]

Excellent. See, that's the place to be doing drugs. Not in the desert.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly. Well, yeah, Xanax.

[Katherine]

That's what they say. How do you know someone's been to Burning Man? They won't shut up about it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's really annoying when people. It's like pickleball. That's the. The people are, like, obsessed with trying to convert you into pickleball. To be obsessed about pickleball and Burning Man.

[Katherine]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

I put up new Vegas dates, by the way, for next year. This year, I will be there November 1st and November 29th. Those are my last two dates this year. Then I start up again. January 31st, March 7th, April 18th, and May 30th. And tickets are now on sale for all of those dates.

[Katherine]

Our guest today will be at the Chicago theater and all across Europe in October, as well as playing Carnegie hall in December on the Errors Tour. Please welcome Sam Morrell.

[Chelsea Handler]

Welcome, Sam Morel. I'm saying it doesn't matter. Well, no, it does matter.

[Sam Morril]

We want to say Morel, but I feel I don't like correcting people.

[Chelsea Handler]

So for Morel. Where are you getting the E from?

[Sam Morril]

My dad said, and I just rolled with it. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

He's wrong. Listen, you have a lot of introductions here. I was reading your shit last night, and you. Okay, There's a lot going on with you. First of all, you just came out with your sixth standup special since 2020. How is that possible?

[Sam Morril]

No, no, not that many.

[Chelsea Handler]

But you have six, though, right?

[Sam Morril]

I think so, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And in what frame of time?

[Sam Morril]

There was a period where I was doing way too many. Cause I was just Like, I had no life.

[Chelsea Handler]

So because of COVID Covid.

[Sam Morril]

I did a rooftop one. Cause I was losing my mind here. And I just started going to people's roofs and doing standup, and that turned into a special. But that wasn't, like, my best stuff. I wasn't, like, honing that in clubs and stuff. I have, like, you know, I did one Amazon, did one Netflix, I did a Comedy Central hour. I did a YouTube hour. I did the roof thing, and I did like a half hour, so five and a half hour.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, okay. Well, that sounds more reasonable when you say it like that. The way it's presented, it's like you're about to win an academ for standup comedy, which I think is pretty impossible.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, no, we're not respected.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, comedians are not respected.

[Sam Morril]

But that's good. If we were respected, we'd be boring.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, the reason we're funny is because we're not respected.

[Sam Morril]

Exactly.

[Chelsea Handler]

And there's no way to gain respect as a comedian. Really?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, there's comedians that are well respected, but only in circles outside of comedy. Right. Like, within comedy, you don't really. Nobody really respects each other.

[Sam Morril]

It's true. Yeah. Because we see through it. It's a ruse. But then you see, like, a singer, you're like, holy shit, that's incredible.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But then they probably look that way at us, like, even popping, like a musician open mic when you start, and they're like, this guy's awesome.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But then you take the same jokes to a comic open mic, and they're like, you fucking. You suck.

[Chelsea Handler]

Or I'll go see someone who's like a musician perform and be fucking blown away. And they'll perform at the Greek or something, and then they'll come see me perform and be like, I can't believe you can do that. I'm like, what are you talking about? I can't believe you can do that.

[Sam Morril]

I can go on drunk. What are you talking about?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I know, I know. Well, musicians can, too. That's their thing.

[Sam Morril]

They can. Yeah, I guess they can do, like, heroin, too.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, they. I mean, I said what they do.

[Sam Morril]

Is way more impressive.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's also more exhausting because they're up there for, like, two and a half, three hours. Like, I was at Glastonbury recently, and we saw Alanis Marsette and she drank. She went through these jugs of. I guess it was like green tea or something. She went through, like six or seven of them, and it was less than an hour Set. I've never seen any guy drink any beverages on stage other than red wine or alcohol. Like a musician wise. I couldn't believe how well she was hydrating. I was like, wow, you must be into crystals and stuff if you're hydrating this much.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, Green tea is like, that's weird.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, she's kind of on. She's ethereal. She's on another. She's like on another frequency. She's one of those people. She probably meditates a lot. She's vibrating at a higher level than regular people. Certainly higher than comedians.

[Sam Morril]

Definitely. Yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you do drugs and drink?

[Sam Morril]

I drink.

[Chelsea Handler]

Uh huh. You don't do drugs?

[Sam Morril]

I'm scared of drugs. I don't like not knowing what's in.

[Chelsea Handler]

My bloodstream or what's in your future.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, yeah. I can maintain a level of control. I like drugs that push your feelings down.

[Chelsea Handler]

Away. Well, you're a man. So is it hard for you to be a standup comic surrounded by so many female comedians?

[Sam Morril]

No, I love female comedians.

[Chelsea Handler]

That was a joke. I just always wanted to ask a man and what it feels like to be surrounded by women since that's the only question we ever get to. The only question that.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, they ask you guys that a lot?

[Chelsea Handler]

They ask us all the time, what's it like to be in an industry that's so male dominated? And I'm like, can you fucking think of a more interesting question? I've been doing this for like 25 years. Well, the other more, more boring question is when you're promoting a tour or you're promoting a special and people ask you, what can we expect? I fucking hate that question.

[Sam Morril]

It's hard to describe your own act.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, also, without doing bits, like, I don't want to be on the phone doing bits. You know what I mean? If I'm talking to a reporter or a journalist. I mean, a journalist is a, you know.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. You're getting better interviews than me. I think I'm talking to a journalist. I'm talking to some guy from like.

[Chelsea Handler]

What are you fucking. You can expect to laugh and you can expect comedy.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I can't. What can you expect? I mean, you know, I come out in the third act. I don't know nothing. Nothing. It's jokes.

[Chelsea Handler]

So we were just talking. Cause you've dated a lot of female comedians.

[Sam Morril]

Two.

[Chelsea Handler]

Only two?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Megan Gailey, right?

[Sam Morril]

I didn't date her.

[Chelsea Handler]

You did it. You just had sex with her?

[Sam Morril]

Sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Well, I feel like you dated her. I don't know. Why you dated Taylor Tomlinson for a few years? Cause I know that because when I had her on my podcast, she was quarantining with you.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you guys were together for a few years, right?

[Sam Morril]

Probably two years. It's hard to measure because we broke up so many times.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

What was the problem?

[Sam Morril]

Probably both of us. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

It must be hard to date a comic. I don't think I've ever date. Oh, yeah, I did. What am I talking about?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, no, I'm aware of that one too.

[Chelsea Handler]

I forgot. I forgot.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I think the problem is it's funny when people are like, what went wrong is. I don't know. It's us together. That's it. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you attribute part of the relationship working out for a duration of time? Because you were. It was during COVID and you were.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah, the first few weeks were great.

[Chelsea Handler]

But no, no, it was like a.

[Sam Morril]

Sleepover that just went on too long.

[Chelsea Handler]

Went on, went on and went on.

[Sam Morril]

But no, we had great times, I think. You know, I look back at some of them and I was like, man, we're like watching movies. And we started a movie podcast. It was fun as hell.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's right.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it was great. We had a good time.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's cute.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, it's fun to. You know, you share a movie and then you talk about it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm trying to think if I dated any other comics. It's just such a weird thing because I find it like actors and actresses. I find it normal for them to date. Are you drinking ginger ale?

[Sam Morril]

It's seltzer.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I fucking loved Canada Dry ginger ale. Oh, my.

[Sam Morril]

Go Canada Dry.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, I know. I once called Canada Dry. I'm like, I want to do a commercial for you guys. I'm so obsessed you pulled that. Yeah. But then they were like, can you do one for Sprite? Because they're all owned by the same person. And they were like, sprite, Canada. Nobody drinks that. I'm like, they're like, oh, the only people who drink that are from New Jersey or New York. It's a very east coast thing. Canada Dry, like, they don't sell it on the west coast as it's not as available.

[Sam Morril]

I love it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. Me too.

[Sam Morril]

It's like when you land in Detroit and you're like, I need some. I need some Vernors. So you. You only dated one comic? It's weird to me. Cause it's, you know, you're an attractive lady. You're You're a funny lady. I'm sure dudes were hitting on you quite a bit.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, men are scared of me.

[Sam Morril]

I could see that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Men are not interested in trying to get, like, shot down by me. That's fair. I mean, even Jo Koy, when we dated, it wasn't even like I had to decide that I was gonna date him. He would never, ever have made a move.

[Sam Morril]

But you made the move.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think so. Because we were friends for so many years. And then when we got back to, like, we. We. We were hanging out as friends, and he just kept coming around and coming around and eventually I just capitulated and I was like, were you drinking or.

[Sam Morril]

Did that give you the.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm always a little drunk. You know, I love drinking. So, like.

[Sam Morril]

But I mean, I have my own whiskey. I almost brought you a bottle of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you should have brought it.

[Sam Morril]

I remember I read one of your book and you're a vodka person. So I didn't know some people were like, I don't fucking drink whiskey.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, I like whiskey. Whiskey's nice and warm, especially in the wintertime. And when I'm in, like, I go to Whistler, Canada, for winter. And in the winter I'll drink whiskey.

[Sam Morril]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. It warms your bones.

[Sam Morril]

I love it.

[Chelsea Handler]

What's your whiskey called?

[Sam Morril]

It's called Bodega Cat.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh. Oh, cute.

[Sam Morril]

It's cool.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you grew up in New York in the city? Yeah. Here in the city. So you've never strayed too far?

[Sam Morril]

No, I'm useless.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

I'm fucking useless.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like an ashtray on a motorcycle.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I'm terrible.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, what do you think your best qualities are? If you had to, you have to pick three.

[Sam Morril]

This is like describing your tour shit. My best qualities?

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, come on. You have to think of three good things that make you valuable to the human species.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Chelsea Handler]

And if you can't say good three.

[Sam Morril]

I think I'm pretty loyal.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, that's great. That's a good one.

[Sam Morril]

I can't say, you know, funny.

[Chelsea Handler]

Ish.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I'm a cock Suck. I'll suck your cock.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, great. That's another. Somebody's gotta do that. Cause I'm not doing that either. So thank you.

[Sam Morril]

No, that's why I was intimidated by you is your cock.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you.

[Sam Morril]

Loyalty. I was gonna say good listener, but I'm not. I'm on a bunch of Ritalin right now to make sure I'm connected with you right now.

[Chelsea Handler]

I would say, though, in order to be a Comedian. And you have to be a good listener because you can't.

[Sam Morril]

I'm observant, but I'm not a great listener.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, really?

[Sam Morril]

To a point. But then something pops into my head and I start following that. Do you ever do that?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's add. Add, yeah, absolutely. But we all have that.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my. I'm so glad.

[Chelsea Handler]

As long as you stay medicated. I don't take medication for it, but I've just learned how to. When I used to post talk shows, I would literally be thinking about what the fuck I was gonna eat. If I was talking to somebody who didn't my interest, I'd be like, what am I gonna have when I go upstairs? Are there any gummy bears? I'm like, are there any red ones left? Or did everyone see.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's ADD right there.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, that was.

[Katherine]

You know.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I never. I don't take any medication for it. I just eventually just started going, okay, you have to fucking focus on what you're doing. Like, I wanna be able to read a book. I wanna be able to tune out my phone. I wanna be able to put a phone, like on another side of the room and not walk over to it every 15 seconds. So it's kind of like training yourself like a fucking dog, you know?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And if it's a book that interests me, I can't put it down. But if it's something that I have to like, work at, I'm just like, fuck, I guess I gotta pick this up again.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right? Right. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. When I am going through something tough, the first people I reach out to are usually my sisters. They're the foundation of my support system. But there's a difference between that and talking. With a trained therapist, you could get advice from family and friends, but a clinically trained and licensed therapist can provide a more unique perspective and help you find the way forward. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you could focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences and their industry leading match fulfillment rate means that they typically get it right the first time. And if you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. And it's convenient. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp could provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Find the one with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com dearchelsea that's betterhelp.com dearchelsea the key to good skin is using natural ingredients in your skincare products. One surprising ingredient that can leave you glowing is seaweed Undaria. Seaweed is the not so secret ingredient in osea's best selling Undaria Algae Body Oil. Seaweed is a nutrient dense superfood packed with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that help replenish the skin's moisture barrier and keep skin looking healthy. I love a lightweight body oil and osea's is never greasy or heavy. It sinks right into the skin so you can get dressed and go about your day. It feels like a little moment of self care before your day begins and with osea you never have to choose between your values and your best skin. This luxurious body oil visibly firms and makes your skin feel more sculpted and toned. See and feel the difference after just one use. With the powers of Undaria seaweed harnessed in every bottle. Get healthy, glowing skin for summer with clean vegan skin and body care from Osea. Get 10% off your first order site wide with code [e-mail] youm'll get free samples with every order and free shipping on orders over $50. Head to oseamalibu.com and use code Chelsea for 10% off. Pedigree believes dogs bring out the good in people. Pedigree brings out the good in them with high quality nutrition at an affordable price. Whatever your dog's taste, Pedigree has a range of products and flavors to keep their tails wagging and their bowls empty. Their dry and wet dog foods encourage, fortify and fuel a dog's power to be their healthiest and happiest selves at every stage of life. Pedigree dog food is 100% complete and balanced, supporting total health with no artificial flavors, no added sugar and no high fructose corn syrup. Not to mention they have a great taste in every bowl because of their high quality ingredients. In addition to being a great dog food brand, Pedigree is also on a mission to help end dog homelessness. For over a decade, they have actively helped shelter dogs find a loving home through Pedigree Foundation. This is a separate 501 organization whose shelter and rescue grants have helped over 900,000 dogs since 2008. Learn more at pedigree.comfeed-good and visit your local retailer to try Pedigree products for the nutrition your dog needs and a taste your Dog will love pedigree. Feed the good Dear Chelsea is sponsored.

[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

So what's your family situation in New York? How did you grow up?

[Sam Morril]

First couple years, just me and my mom. And then she married a guy who became my stepdad, who I love. He's a great dad.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's nice.

[Sam Morril]

And then I got a stepbrother and stepsister from his side and that's my family situation. And they have kids now. I don't have kids.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Is that something that you want to have?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. I think I would like one. I think one is a good number.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why not get a pet though?

[Sam Morril]

I was gonna say a pet's hard to take care of. Thinking that a kid is probably also hard. I don't know. I think I need a little time still to figure it out.

[Chelsea Handler]

How old are you?

[Sam Morril]

I'm 38.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, okay.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you're not even 40 years old yet. So you haven't Even like hit your little crisis zone. Yeah, that's coming. Especially as a male comedian.

[Sam Morril]

I'm always in crisis. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I feel like a lot of men are, like, in long standing. Male crises comedians especially.

[Sam Morril]

Well, I think women, I mean, you guys have a biological clock. But all we have is if. If we don't have kids at a certain age, it's like, what the fuck's wrong with that guy?

[Chelsea Handler]

Right?

[Sam Morril]

That's all we get. It's not that bad. But like, you, I mean, you get judged for that shit all the time. And I kind of like that you're just like, I don't give a shit.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. No, I don't want a baby. Like, that's a fucking pain in the ass.

[Sam Morril]

You have a pet?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And he lives. He's in LA right now. You know what I mean? I see him when I see him and he says. And take it personally. And if he did, I can't. I wouldn't know about it because he can't fucking talk anyway. That's why pets are amazing.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

They work for you in every situation. I sent him to Canada. I did a Euro tour. You're going on your European tour, right?

[Sam Morril]

I am. I love. I love going to Europe.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you're playing. I love performing in Europe. I just get.

[Sam Morril]

What's your favorite part?

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, God. Paris was amazing. Berlin was awesome.

[Sam Morril]

I've never been to Berlin.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you doing that whole run?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're going to Copenhagen, Amsterdam, all.

[Sam Morril]

I've done Copenhagen. I'm not going this time, but I'm doing Amsterdam again. I love.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

So good.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's beautiful there. I mean, and it's really nice to be out of this fucking country.

[Sam Morril]

It is. It's good to get a little reset.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Well, when I was there, I was going on stage. It was right. Not right after the election, but like a couple months after the election. So I just got on stage and just started apologizing on behalf of our country, you know, and they were there for. They were happy to hear that. I'm like, listen, we're not all like this. I'm really sorry about our country. I don't know where you stand politically. I'm assuming you're not a bro.

[Sam Morril]

I didn't vote for Donald Trump if.

[Chelsea Handler]

That'S what it is. Right. Okay, great, Great. I mean, I'm sure you're not a Trumpy. I can tell by your outfit that you're not a Trump supporter.

[Sam Morril]

Not a lot of corduroy jacket Trumpies out there. No, I don't think so.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you're going. You're doing your job, and then you're doing Carnegie hall, too, right?

[Sam Morril]

I am, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

What's the date on that?

[Sam Morril]

December 4th.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, okay. And are you going to Europe after that or before?

[Sam Morril]

No, I'm going to Europe in October.

[Chelsea Handler]

How fun.

[Sam Morril]

Should be good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And so are you going to go to, like, Reykjavik? Are you going to Sweden?

[Sam Morril]

I'm not going to Reykjavik, unfortunately. I've done Sweden before. I love Stockholm. That was awesome. But I just couldn't fit everything, and I've never been to Germany, so I wanted to go to Germany and just some place that I hadn't been, so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. You're not Jewish.

[Sam Morril]

I am Jewish.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you are. Well, you better go to Germany while you can, because I know they don't like us.

[Sam Morril]

I know.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no, no. My friends just went to Frankfurt. They had a layover and Frankfurt got stuck there. And her son had, like, a high necklace on, and she's like, they. The cab driver said, no, we're not taking you. We don't drive.

[Sam Morril]

Jeez. Oh, nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

That was recently. So, yeah, you might want to get over to Germany quickly and then bounce.

[Sam Morril]

Get in the cab. Like, don't rub it in, dude. Just fucking, you know, I get it.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you're like. So if you're. If you're this prolific with your standup, you're performing all the time, all week long. How many? And as a New Yorker, because I know you New York comics like to get up, like, sometimes three or four times a night.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I've dialed it back a little just for. You know, there was a point where I had some older comics I respect be like, dude, you have to have a life to write about.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly.

[Sam Morril]

You can't just, like. You know, your audience is living. You have to live. So, you know, at a certain point, all your jokes are. This guy came up to me after my set and he said this. And you're like, that's not a fucking. That's not comedy. That's not life.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

So, yeah, I try to. I try to follow, like, an adventure every once in a while. I'm like, I'll just get fucking drunk some nights and be like, let's see where this takes me. Back in the day, I'd be doing, like, four sets tonight. I'm just gonna, like, scour the village and try to have an adventure or something with a friend of mine or something.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And also go on vacations.

[Sam Morril]

I'm so bad on vacation.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why?

[Sam Morril]

I get really bored.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

I'm Doing some, you know, days off on this Euro tour so I can just chill, but I get really bored.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you know how to swim?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, you should take some swimming classes.

[Sam Morril]

Swimming classes?

[Chelsea Handler]

So that you can have. So you can improve on your swimming sk. And have a great vacation.

[Sam Morril]

I'm a good enough swimmer.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you think so? But that doesn't sound convincing.

[Sam Morril]

Well, how good a swimmer?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that's part of what vacation is for me. Is swimming like I want to be?

[Sam Morril]

That's how I would, like, sweat out booze on the road. I would go to, like, a rec center or something and just swim left.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then sweat in the pool. Yeah, I don't really think it's sweating from swimming, but it's like vacation vibes. So you sweat and then it just goes right back into the water?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, in the chlorine water, I think.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Is that not right, you guys? What do these guys do over here? Do they not fact check or something?

[Chelsea Handler]

You're swimming when you're in the water. But this is a very interesting conversation.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe I'm dumb. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think maybe you are, because can you imagine? Think about it. You're in the water, and then you're sweating. I understand it's a workout.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

But when you come out of the water from swimming so hard, are you sweating?

[Sam Morril]

No. But you feel better. She must be losing some of that sugar.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're burning calories.

[Sam Morril]

You're burning calories. All right, so maybe sweating was the wrong word. But it's healthy to swim.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, it's healthy to go on vacation and swim, is what my point is. I love vacation. I'm all about working.

[Sam Morril]

So the rec center on the road I painted for you. It wasn't like a tropical paradise scene?

[Chelsea Handler]

No. I never saw the inside of any rec center.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I love those.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm not that kind of Jew. I'm like that.

[Sam Morril]

I'm a total rec center Jew.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, like a ymca, basically, is what you're giving.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's how I do the road. We go to the rec center. Yeah, we did a tour bus, and we do the rec center every day.

[Chelsea Handler]

Jo Koy had a tour bus, and it smelled like balls.

[Sam Morril]

Did you guys do that together on the bus?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I went on the bus, like, twice, and that was enough. I mean, we may or may not have had sex on the bus. I don't really remember, but I was disgusted by every part about it. There were so many men.

[Sam Morril]

It's not for women.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's not for women. It should Actually, just say, these are not available for women in a non discriminatory way.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Nikki Glaser called me up and she was like, do you like the tour bus? I was like, yeah, I do. But you're not going to.

[Chelsea Handler]

Nikki doesn't take a bus, does she?

[Sam Morril]

No, but I've had a lot of people hit me up, be like, do you like that? And I'm just like, yeah, but that doesn't. It's weird when people ask you if you like something. Yeah, of course. That doesn't mean you're gonna like it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that's kind of like, what can we expect from your show?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So that's what you do on the road. You go on the road, you go to a rec center and you bring your crew.

[Sam Morril]

I bring my crew. We play some basketball or a swim.

[Chelsea Handler]

That sounds reasonable. Basketball in the rec center. I don't have a problem with that.

[Sam Morril]

Love that. And then we. These new YMCAs are all nice. You go to the Midwest or the south, they have, like, saunas and stuff. So we get in there. Usually there's not a weird dude in there. Sometimes there is masturbating. Oh, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

At a Y. That's real tricky.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, that's low fucking end.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, in New York, that's not like.

[Sam Morril]

An equinox dude jacking off. At least you're like, all right, I'm not gay, but at least he looks good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but. But most of these gyms in New York, like, men know which ones are the gay gyms and which one are the straight gyms. So that if you walk into a sauna and there's three guys jerking off, that's because that's what's supposed to happen.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I'm like Jack Reacher. I'm just passing through these YMCAs, so I don't know what. You're right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I'm glad, though, that you're keeping it. Like you have a lifestyle on the road. That's nice.

[Sam Morril]

Got it. Yeah. Keeps it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because otherwise you're gonna go fucking crazy.

[Sam Morril]

Totally. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Flying in and out of cities, like, I like to fly in and out because. And I also don't like to stay in cities where they don't have a nice hotel.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've already done that a million times. I'm over it. I don't want any discomfort in my life.

[Sam Morril]

I think being a young female comic doing the road like that is, like, that's tough.

[Chelsea Handler]

I used to do the San Francisco punchline all the time.

[Sam Morril]

Great club.

[Chelsea Handler]

And once the first Time. Yeah. Great club right now. It's kind of. Cobbs is another big club there too. But that was always there. But the first time I ever did the road I did, I opened for. It was. Dave Attell was headlining. Zach G. Of course. The best Zach. I haven't seen him in years. Zach Galifianakis was middling. And it was me. And I had to sleep with Zach Galifianakis in his hotel room at the Commodore Hotel because I couldn't.

[Sam Morril]

I thought you were gonna say, just.

[Chelsea Handler]

To get the gig, because. Well, I mean, no, Zach would never do something like that. He's the only male comic that would never do something like that. But he did. Every night we went to sleep and he would whisper in my ear, I will never rape you.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, that's great.

[Chelsea Handler]

And that was sweet.

[Sam Morril]

That's awesome.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was romantic a little bit.

[Sam Morril]

Did he do it while he was playing the piano?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no, he didn't have the piano in the room.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Chelsea Handler]

But that was my first week on, and I just realized, oh, it costs more to even get there than you're gonna make in the.

[Sam Morril]

That's when you start selling merch when you're a young comic. But as an opener. Oh, yeah, you got it. But I remember doing gigs with Dave Attell, and he was the most fun ever. I mean, we were driving back from a gig at Tarrytown Music hall once, and he does that thing where he'll bring you on stage and you're like, dude, you're the quickest guy in the world. I'm not gonna keep up with you. But he's, you know, he's super supportive. Then of course, he murders. We're in the car ride back, the whole ride, he's like, I'm a fucking hack. I fucking suck. And we're like, dude, you're all favorite comics. And he's like, well, I'm better than you guys.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's funny. I know. He kind of does self hate.

[Sam Morril]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But it's kind of refreshing. So many people love themselves. I mean, I don't think he should hate himself, but, like, you know, just a hint of self loathing is kind of good, I think, for a comic, a little bit.

[Chelsea Handler]

But not. Don't get carried away with it because then you're, like spending all day talking about what a fucking loser you are. That's not good either. I mean, that's not good, especially.

[Sam Morril]

You seem like you have a good drinker's energy. Because I think the hangover is good for me. Because I Wake up with, like, a little bit like, you piece of shit. I need, like, a little bit of, like, you're a piece of shit.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I always have my best shows, or, like, when I was, like, doing my talk shows, I always had my best shows when I had a little alcohol in me from the night before, because it just takes, like. Then you don't give a shit, you know, you're just kind of like, loosey goosey. I don't like to be tightly wound. I don't really get like that anymore because now I've been doing this for so many years. But I don't like nerves before I go out on stage. I understand that they're good, they're purposeful, you know, it means you give a shit. But I don't like to be nervous. So luckily, with enough time under my belt. And I'm sure you probably feel this way, too, after however many years you've been doing standup. Which is what, 20 years about. Yeah, 20 years. I mean, you don't get nervous, right?

[Sam Morril]

No, not really. I mean, I get, like, bored. That's where the alcohol comes in. I'll get, like, disconnected, you know? Especially when I do that many shows in a row. I'm just like, all right, I need a drink to.

[Chelsea Handler]

To spice things up.

[Sam Morril]

To spice things up. Maybe I'll go down a different road with this bit tonight or something or. Yeah, I just, like. First few days, I don't really need a drink, and then by day four, I'm like, I need a Manhattan. I need a cocktail. I need a proper cocktail. I need to get a little buzz.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right? Well, that seems like you have a healthy relationship with alcohol.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I think so. I respect it. I know that. I don't want to ever.

[Chelsea Handler]

You have to quit.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah, that was good. You've said that before a bunch, too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, obviously. I had a boyfriend once who told me. He's like, I don't ever want to abuse alcohol because I don't ever want to have to give it up. And I was like, let. Let me write that fucking down, because I'm with you. I sometimes go overboard with drugs and alcohol, but I always reel myself back in because I know I can't act like that. You know what I mean? I'm, like, smarter than I. Than my body. I'm not gonna end up in a rehab. Knock on wood or somebody. Knock on something. I like what you do with morning news shows. Should I say that?

[Sam Morril]

What's that? Yeah, I nailed it. That was great.

[Chelsea Handler]

Morning news shows.

[Sam Morril]

That was awesome.

[Chelsea Handler]

What are they called? Morning.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, morning shows.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like local news shows. Local news shows. I like that you call them up and fuck with these people. Because these are the people who aren't wearing pants underneath a desk.

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like when you're in a local. When you're in, like, let's say, Akron, Ohio. Okay. And you go on a local news show and you're promoting your show, and these people are basically. You could say, my penis is out. And they would be like, ed, what can we expect from your show tonight?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

There is no change, of course. And Sam does this really funny thing where he brings up really uncomfortable topics. Catherine. While he's being interviewed in the morning. And he'll be like, oh, what was one of the ones that you did You.

[Katherine]

I liked the human trafficking, right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Human trafficking.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, they were. It's funny.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's so funny. What are you talking about?

[Sam Morril]

That guy. I broke him, I think. But the woman kind of got it.

[Chelsea Handler]

But don't you think those people are slightly broken anyway? I mean, no offense to any newscasters who are watching, but seriously, you guys need to take a look at yourselves in the mirror.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I think they're just so scared. I think they're just living. They have to walk such a tightrope. And we just. That started. Cause I was forced to do that at improvs and stuff. If you miss that, you can't do the weekend. So I'd be like, all right. So I'd go. But I'd be on two hours sleep, hungover and in a bad mood. And it started. The one that started. It was in Pittsburgh where someone was like, so have you always been funny? And you're just sitting there like. And I said, no. But when I was young, my uncle, he was funny, and he molested me. And I got his powers like a spider man. And they were just like, okay. And I just. And I just kind of turned to the camera and smiled. And I remember leaving, like, can I get that footage? That's like a funny clip. And they were like, get out. So it turned into like a. Turned into, like a heist. It turned into, like a thing where I'm like, oh, I call the Uber before I go on. Cause I know they're gonna be fucking pissed. And then I just run out and jump in. So that one people thought it was funny. So I was like, oh, I can take something I hated and make it fun. So, yeah, the Columbus one people liked. I don't know. You just go in, you're like, is there something in the news I could fuck with. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's just nice to fuck with people who are so serious about nonsense. You know what I mean? We're talking about the weather. Like, unless there's a fucking hurricane coming, it's not that serious. And we're talking about morning news, which is pretty banal. There's nothing really happening there either.

[Sam Morril]

It's just so scripted. So when you go on there and you just make it a mess, it's kind of.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's fun. Yeah. I appreciate that.

[Sam Morril]

Thanks.

[Chelsea Handler]

So after everything we're speaking about, you like being on the road. Would you say that you prefer that over being at home?

[Sam Morril]

I mean, I like both. I romanticize the road, though. I love it. I love that. I feel.

[Chelsea Handler]

How do you romanticize the road?

[Sam Morril]

I'm just like, holy shit, this is cool. I'm like, you know, it makes me have a deeper appreciation for America. Like, you go to these random cities and you're like, this is great.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, what are some of your favorite cities that you really like? Or some of the ones that you really will never go back to?

[Sam Morril]

Well, people know. I hate Naples, Florida. I fucking hate that city, Florida, altogether. There's parts of Florida I love, but overall, yeah, Naples was like, that one took. I took a beating there. They hated me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. That one sucked.

[Chelsea Handler]

What was so bad about it?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. I just couldn't connect. I also had this opener who was high energy and hilarious and, like, he's since passed away, this guy, Carl Michael.

[Chelsea Handler]

How did he pass away?

[Sam Morril]

I think it was. My guess would be drugs.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, so you don't know.

[Sam Morril]

I don't. We weren't super close. He just happened to be open for me that weekend.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I see.

[Sam Morril]

But I thought he was funny. I thought he was really good, and he was there.

[Chelsea Handler]

A lot of good that does now that he's dead. I mean, you should have told him then.

[Sam Morril]

I did tell him then.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, great.

[Sam Morril]

I wasn't resentful that he was burying me. I was fine with it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, he did better than you?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's funny.

[Sam Morril]

I was cool with it. I was like, no, I wasn't.

[Chelsea Handler]

I always feel the same way, too. I have Yamaneke open for me a lot, and she's fucking hilarious. And sometimes I'm like, half the time, people are like, who's your opener? I'm like, I have no problem with an opener being funnier than me. No problem whatsoever.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, no, he was super high energy. And I talk like this on Stage. So I think these old people were looking at me like, he's not even trying, but I'm like, no, this is how I perform, you know? So, yeah, I just bombed every show. They hated me. And I was like, oh, I'm never fucking coming back. And that became, like, a big part of my act, is how much I hate Naples.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But then cities I like, I think, you know, Chicago's amazing. I love sf. I love San Diego's really cool. Seattle.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's always sleeper cities, too, that, like, I would always be hesitant. Like, I don't really like to go to Florida in general, just because of the politics. And I find it just to be a depressing place. I know there are decent places to perform and there are good venues down there, but I try. But, like, you know, like, Alabama I had never gone to. And then I went and did a show in Montgomery, and it was fucking awesome. Because there is always those groups of people that really want you to calm down there that they don't get. You know, they don't get everybody passing through those cities. So they're even more wildly appreciative of it. And I like that. I like serving it up for those people.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. And this is. Look, it's a complex country that we live in, but there are these pockets that surprise you. And you're like, this is amazing. I had a great time here, you know, and that's part of the road. Like, I would never go to some of these cities if I wasn't a comic. And then you find out you like them. It's kind of cool. So that's part of the way I romanticize the road. And I. I think your actress gets better if you're out like that. You're just like, okay, I'm making it. I was in Zany's once, and they told me you were in the green. They were like, oh, Chelsea Handler was just here. And like, every show, she was just making adjustments. I mean, that's the road, you know?

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

You're tweaking, you're trying. Stuff like that keeps me. When I'm excited about standup. That makes me love it. Love the road. Cause I come back and I feel the results of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying. So you're working on your stuff a lot on the road.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was just having this conversation with a friend of mine. Cause I was like, oh, I started in LA doing standup. Even though I'm from Jersey originally, I started doing standup in la and the culture there Isn't like three or four sets a night. You don't do that. You know, you do like four or five sets a week. You get up every night, once, maybe twice, but like those for Die Hards. But once I started doing the road, like I don't come back to LA and go up at the Comedy Store or go to the Laugh Factory. Like I do my shows when I.

[Sam Morril]

Since then, why don't you do it? Why don't you ever go up there?

[Chelsea Handler]

I just, I don't have any desire. Like I wanna do my hour set, not a 20 minute set or something. Like I will if it's a friend's show and somebody asks me. But typically you're not gonna see me at those clubs. I just don't. I feel like I've. I don't wanna say I've outgrown it. Cause that sounds like I'm too good for it. Which is not the case. I just don't have a. When I'm home, I wanna fucking chill and relax.

[Sam Morril]

I totally understand.

[Chelsea Handler]

And recuperate. Cause when I'm on the road, it's like Wednesday through Sunday sometimes, or you know, Thursday through Saturday and then I'm done and I come home and I'm like, chill, chill, chill, go back out.

[Sam Morril]

I think one of my fears and my audience is very forgiving if I take a long time to get to a punchline. Cause I think they know it's coming. But like, you know, I might as well take something to a seller, the comedy seller, and they're just like, what the fuck are you doing? So I want to know how the jokes are for people that aren't straight up. Just there for me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, yes, I understand that.

[Sam Morril]

You know, and I also live like 7 minute walk from the cellar, so I feel like I go there more than I should probably, but. But I love throwing shit at the wall there. It's awesome.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I mean, that's a good point. You do want to perform in front of people that are not your fans.

[Sam Morril]

Totally. Yeah. I mean, I feel like you stop growing if you don't do that. At least a little bit, you know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm just waiting for my house to be done so I can fucking sell it and move to New York probably.

[Sam Morril]

Are you really gonna move to New York?

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I hope so. That was my plan about three years ago.

[Sam Morril]

That's pretty cool.

[Chelsea Handler]

I got stuck in this.

[Sam Morril]

You seem like a New Yorker. You don't seem like an LA person.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm Jersey. That's the Jersey.

[Sam Morril]

No, I know but you have, I think wherever you start, that's kind of how you feel to me. And I saw you in the city, like way back in the day. I wasn't even a comic. I think you were opening for a tell. I saw you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, maybe. Yeah, Caroline's probably.

[Sam Morril]

And you had like a New York mentality. So you feel New York. You should come here.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I would like to be here. I would like to. There's so much more action here. LA is a little bit like really healthy living. And everyone's in bed by 8, so I go there to recover, you know, mostly it's kind of like rehab.

[Sam Morril]

I'm healthy when I'm there.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, everyone's healthy. You can't get a drink after 10 o' clock at night. Nothing is open anywhere in LA. Like, they have never recovered from COVID When you guys. When you were living with Taylor. Sorry to bring this up again, but were you guys in New York or la?

[Sam Morril]

We a little bit of both. During COVID we were in la and that was probably the healthiest I've ever been.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I would imagine.

[Sam Morril]

I mean, she doesn't drink, so, you know, she felt bad I was there. So she's like, let's go to Vons and let's just find a bunch of liquor for you so you don't go crazy. But she doesn't. It's also weird to just drink when the other person's isn't drinking. Yeah, not that, like I can't, but it's just not as fun.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, it's not as fun. I actually had this. I was dating this guy and I had this shoulder injury last year and I couldn't drink for like 30 days. Cause I had it like I had to get these intravenous antibiotics every 24 hours.

[Sam Morril]

And you're asking the doctor for loopholes. You're like, but what if I meanwhile.

[Chelsea Handler]

I find out after? Because you could have been drinking on those antibiotics. They're so strong, they'll kill everything. I'm like, you could have fucking told me that a month ago. But I was like, oh, good. A month of sobriety under my belt. Like, I could use that, you know, I mean, I like to have a drink, so. But this guy didn't take the cue and he kept drinking while I was unable to drink. And I was like, you're out. Get out of here. I'm like, are you stupid? This is your one opportunity to like, band together with your partner who cannot drink. This is the moment you don't drink also.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, there was a girl. I wasn't like dating her, but we were kind of hooking up a little bit and she would just happen to be in town and she goes, where are you? I'd love to see you. And she showed up. I was just at a bar, shit face with my friend, and she was disgusted, but I didn't know she was coming. She just hit me up 20 minutes before, like, let's hang out. And she was like, you're just drunk. I'm like, hey, you met me at a bar that I've been at for like three hours.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I'm gone. Yeah, yeah, it's hard. Being drunk is pretty. Is pretty.

[Sam Morril]

I'm not even a bad drunk. Any bad drunk as you get older has to quit. I'm a pretty please. I'm like a go getter when I'm drunk. I talk about, like, grand ideas. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna do this. It's gonna, I make big promises. I don't follow through on them, but I do in my heart wanna do them.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, your intention is there.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

You have a good, healthy relationship with alcohol.

[Sam Morril]

I'm the type of drunk who tells you, like, how I genuinely feel about you and it's gonna be good. I'm not gonna drink with you. I don't like. So it's all positive.

[Chelsea Handler]

So that's very high school too. When you get drunk and start telling people how much you like them, that reminds me of like, you know, 11th grade in high school where people are like, you're my best friend. You know what I love about you? This is what I love about, or, or like mdma. People say that, but at a certain age. Yeah. Have you ever done mdma?

[Sam Morril]

No, I don't. Drugs.

[Chelsea Handler]

You don't like that at all.

[Sam Morril]

Okay, well, I'll do like basic. I'll do like, like if it's a muscle relaxer or something, or like, yeah, you know, Ritalin, stuff like that. But I don't. Do you do, do you do a lot of pills and stuff?

[Chelsea Handler]

I, I mean, I, I, I'm familiar with pills. I mean, I'm pretty much like, I'm.

[Sam Morril]

Familiar with such a classy way to.

[Chelsea Handler]

Say that I'm familiar with pills, but.

[Sam Morril]

I wouldn't say I've never heard someone use it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I wouldn't say I'm a pill pop. If I, if I have, like, I had surgery on my foot a couple, like, I guess two months ago, and I had some pain pills for that, but I wasn't, it wasn't like the enjoyment I would have gotten from pills, like 10 years ago. Like, I'm not interested in that stuff anymore.

[Sam Morril]

Gotcha.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I do, like, like mdma. I like lsd. I microdose LSD all the time. I fucking love lsd. I think it's the best, like, upper. So I'm pretty, like, open. I'm. I'm a very drug positive drug. I get along well with drugs.

[Sam Morril]

Nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

I rarely have a bad time. I was just in Ibiza for. And that ended on a sour note. But that, I don't think had anything to do with drugs. That was more. That was just like the heat, extreme heat. And like.

[Sam Morril]

But you had a bad day from just like, sick.

[Chelsea Handler]

From like, just. I was at this party for, like three days. It was an ongoing party. Different people, groups of people. It wasn't one party, but just like, too much of. And it was hot. And I was like, I'm out. I don't feel good at all. And then I slept for, like, almost 24 hours and missed my flight. But fuck, yeah, I mean, I. I missed it intentionally, you know, I was like, I'm not making this flight. It's not happening. I have to sleep now.

[Sam Morril]

It's cool when you make that. That choice.

[Chelsea Handler]

So, yeah, it feels good. It feels good. And then they were like, well, we have to change your hotel room because you were supposed to check out. And I was like, well, good luck with that because I'm not fucking getting up.

[Sam Morril]

And I'm like, you did squatters law.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was like, you have to come and remove me. You.

[Sam Morril]

You use your squatters rights in a hotel. That's fantastic.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was like, come and get my luggage and then bring me a wheelchair and wheel me to the. The next location, because that's how this is going down. And that's how it worked. Like, it was fine.

[Sam Morril]

You're super hungover.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was just like, I was just weak. It was more of weak. Like, I wasn't. I didn't get sick or anything. I just felt like, you know, sometimes you get zapped. And for me, I have a. Climate change is gonna be a big problem for me because I can't fucking take the heat. Yeah, I need. I want to invest.

[Sam Morril]

You're a Jew.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm a Jew.

[Sam Morril]

You're an east coast Jew. That's all we do is complain about weather changes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Anything. Anything, really. It doesn't have to be the one weather.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, we're going to take a break and we're going to be right back with Sam Morel calling all duos.

[Katherine]

We're looking for more couples to write in for couples counseling with Chelsea. So whether that's your partner or your mom or your best friend, feel free to write into dearchelsea podcast gmail.com pedigree.

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Sam Morril]

We know flu season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give.

[Chelsea Handler]

You our flu info in a meditation keeping you calm. Just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will do if you're a little needle nervous.

[Sponsor/Commercial Voice]

So walk in or schedule an appointment.

[Chelsea Handler]

Today to get up to date on all your vaccines.

[Sam Morril]

That's the human kind of help.

[Chelsea Handler]

Walgreens vaccines subject to availability, state, age.

[Sponsor/Commercial Voice]

And health related restrictions may apply.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, and we're back with Sam Morrell. His tour right now, everybody. You can go see [e-mail] that's M O R R I L. His tour is called the Error, not to be confused with the other tour that ended last year. How did you come up with that name, Sam?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. It just came to me, Just hit me.

[Chelsea Handler]

And do people get confused?

[Sam Morril]

It's happened. Yeah. I saw another comedian using it too and I was like, I beat him to it though. I got confused.

[Chelsea Handler]

Another one? How can you do that at the same time?

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. Mine was already out there. I can't change it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, but didn't that guy do a Google check and find out that it's happening?

[Sam Morril]

He didn't, but it's all right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Your newest special's called Same time Tomorrow, which I.

[Sam Morril]

No, no, no. Newest one's called you'd've changed.

[Chelsea Handler]

Sorry.

[Sam Morril]

That one's on Amazon. Same time Tomorrow. But that's on my YouTube channel now. I got the rights back for that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Did you? For Netflix. Wow, nice. You're quite a deal maker. You are Jewish and you've changed is on Amazon.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. As with all his other specials the hour was immediately a hit with fans and critics alike, with the New York Times praising him as reliably funny.

[Sam Morril]

I didn't send this.

[Chelsea Handler]

Here's a quote from Vulture just to make you even more embarrassed. A good comedian who has done the work of establishing a clear, distinct Persona can get as big of a laugh on a pause as they can a punchline. Oh, that's a great compliment.

[Sam Morril]

That's nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. That's actually what you just said about yourself kind of.

[Sam Morril]

Is it?

[Chelsea Handler]

Moments ago, you said your audience is forgiving when you lead up to a joke. I mean, it's not the same as a pause. But I'm gonna add.

[Sam Morril]

I just meant they're patient with me. Cause I'm. Sometimes it's. It's. You know. You know how it is when you have the notepad out. You're trying to figure shit out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah. Do you bring your notepad on stage a lot?

[Sam Morril]

I try not to. I ran into someone who called me out for it recently at a bar. He was like, I was at a show and you just had your fucking notepad out? And I was like, well, you know, I build the show as working out new mater material. And he's like, still dude, at.

[Chelsea Handler]

At the Cellar.

[Sam Morril]

No, it was at a. I was at a bar with a friend, and.

[Chelsea Handler]

He'S like, is he talking about a show?

[Sam Morril]

No, I was in Dania beach at the Improv there, and I was doing workout shows. Oh.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think if you're at a comedy club, you're allowed to bring your notes on stage. I mean, who gives a shit? It's not like you're doing Madison Square Garden and looking at your notebook.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Which, by the way.

[Chelsea Handler]

Did you just burp on me?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Sorry.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh. Oh, my God.

[Sam Morril]

Is that bad?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I mean, it wasn't great.

[Sam Morril]

It came out involuntarily. It wasn't like that.

[Chelsea Handler]

It came out more of as an exhale. But I know what a burp is.

[Sam Morril]

No. Fuck. I thought I could be sneaky.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm just waiting for it to reach my nostrils, but it hasn't yet, which is lucky. Okay, so you also did the roast of the year a little bit with Hannah Burner?

[Sam Morril]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

How was that?

[Sam Morril]

Terrible.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it awful? Why?

[Sam Morril]

It was just a mess. It was like a four hour shoot, and people were like. Some of the people that couldn't read a prompter. So they're taking like 30 minutes to do their set, and we're just sitting at a table behind them, like, oh, I just.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it a live audience?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, yeah. It was like a four hour shoot.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

I think I felt so bad for the crowd.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think Jeff asked me to do that. And I was like, I'm not. No. I don't do roasts.

[Sam Morril]

First of all, I said no. And then Mark Norman said yes. Cause they told him I said yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he's your buddy, right?

[Sam Morril]

He's my buddy. And then he was. We kind of were like, what if we just did it together? So it would take the, you know, sting out of it and we had fun, actually. Yeah, working it out together was fun. Cause we were like, riffing off each other, figuring out jokes. I liked it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you typically into Roast? Do you like to do things?

[Sam Morril]

I wouldn't say it's like my style of humor, but I. Yeah, I like them. I think they're like, it's a tradition for a reason. It's fun.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. How about you?

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I've never done them just because my personality is so, like, I'm just roasting people anyway. Like, I don't really need to be. I've always looked at it like, that's a hat on a hat. You know what I mean?

[Sam Morril]

Like, it's a little good at it. I mean, you.

[Chelsea Handler]

To go off on people all the time. Yeah. Now that I'm not on a show where I'm roasting people all the time, it would be a different thing, but I don't know, I would have to see what they. He asked me to do this one, but it was at the worst time of the year. I was like, I just had just gotten to whisper. I'm like, I'm not leaving.

[Sam Morril]

There was a period when I think Roast Battle and that stuff got too big and all these new comics could. They were great at insulting people, but they didn't have five minutes on themselves. So to me, that I was kind of like, ah, this is becoming too much of a thing. But when it's a big. I didn't like the idea of roasting the year either, because it's like, I don't like roasting people who aren't in the room. So that's why most of our jokes were like, Diddy Luigi. I'm like, all right, they're either on trial or in jail. Let's shit on people that actually are not here for a reason.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. We're gonna take callers and get into some advice soon. This is what we do here at Joe. Chelsea, you're gonna love it. What is your situation now, romantically? Do you have a girlfriend?

[Sam Morril]

No, I Don't.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you good at being a boyfriend?

[Sam Morril]

It depends on who you're at.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is a very female heavy show, so you're gonna have a lot of new female fans.

[Sam Morril]

Okay, cool.

[Chelsea Handler]

So if you wanna talk, do you.

[Sam Morril]

Think you're a good girlfriend or.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I wouldn't date me. I mean, I'm doing my own thing. I don't really have any respect for anyone. I don't like to be in a couple, do my own thing, and I have casual encounters.

[Sam Morril]

Okay, that's cool. I think if I'm really in it, I'm good. But I was in one for a while, and it takes a while for me to. I like to kind of heal for a while and then just go do my own thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

You need to recover from the relationship for a while.

[Sam Morril]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. Well, that's nice to hear from a man, because a lot of women feel that way.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. It takes a lot out of you to be in a relationship. First of all, you fall in love and then you can get your heart broken. And so then you're vulnerable and you, like. You have to, like, almost kind of lick your wounds regardless of how the relationship ended. Like, you can have your heart broken even if you're the person that ended the relationship.

[Sam Morril]

Totally. Yeah. No, it's. I'm usually the person who gets dumped, I feel like. Which is kind of great.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, you're a man, so you should be getting dumped, you know, I mean, you guys have done enough.

[Sam Morril]

I'm getting punished for every man ever.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, all men should be punished for every man ever. Not should be, but they are kind of being punished.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think what it is, really. I'll tell you what it is, because I was just thinking about this the other day. Day I was. Because I'm just coming back onto men. Like, I was kind of grossed out by men for a period of time.

[Sam Morril]

Did you ever. Do you ever have, like, a lady phase or no?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but only with guys. Like, in threesome situations. Like, I'm not hooking up with girls on my own. You know, I'm not like, hey, come over and eat my pussy. But guys, I think what my turnoff was was this kind of, like, political backdrop that we're in. Even if men aren't Trump supporters. It's very emblematic right now that the world we're living in, the news every single day, is very emblemation of the reason we're here in this situation in the first place is because of men, you know, because of men not standing up for women enough Standing up for the rights of people that are not white, straight males enough. Like, men aren't. They don't think that's their job. So you don't have to be a Trump supporter to be contributing to that. You know what I mean? So, in a certain way, this is from my perspective only in a certain way. Like, I was like, God, I'm so off of men for, like, the last six months. And I was talking it out with a friend. I'm like, oh, I know what it is. I'm like, I'm so grossed out by what we're dealing with right now that I wanna blame all men for bringing us here. Not just the men who voted for Donald Trump, but all men. All men for not going. Gay people need rights. I'm actually gonna actively stand up for their rights. I'm gonna actively stand up for women's rights and equity and all of the things that matter, so. But now I'm starting to realize you guys didn't know any better.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like if we get blamed for all the bad stuff men have done, we should also get credit for all the great stuff men have done, too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, you know, okay, name something.

[Sam Morril]

Maybe before I fuck you, I'm like, this condom. A dude came up with that. Oh, that's kind of cool.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but that's just you guys helping yourselves again. Do you see? Because you're protecting yourself from having a child, so you have to.

[Sam Morril]

I'm protecting you from my STDs.

[Chelsea Handler]

But you have to think of. That's a joke.

[Sam Morril]

I don't have STDs.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, he does. By the way. We test out HPV.

[Sam Morril]

Doesn't count. That doesn't fucking count.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you kidding me? Our guests, before they come in, and you've tested positive for three different papilloma, Human papillomavirus. You're HIV positive.

[Sam Morril]

HIV is treatable now, though.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you have herpes, which is also treatable, so no problems there.

[Sam Morril]

Three H's. God damn it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I bet you didn't realize you were going to get diagnosed when you came on this podcast.

[Sam Morril]

I didn't think so. But you know what?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, this is a perfect.

[Sam Morril]

It saved me a trip to the doctor.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're right. I am a doctor and I appreciate it. I like. I like to call, refer to myself as a farm to table gynecologist.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Chelsea Handler]

Our callers know that already.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, no, I think I understand. Women are. Especially when Roe v. Wade got overturned. I understand that. I think that was.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's just like you're insulted that we don't have enough comrades. You know what I mean? It's like, why are we always the ones screaming and yelling? Why aren't guys helping fight for us? That's the sentiment. And I'm not saying that guys don't. There are plenty of women.

[Sam Morril]

A lot of women voted red in this election.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but those women are being controlled by their husbands. And you know what I mean. Like the women who listen to their husbands. Like any woman that voted for Donald Trump is probably married to somebody who's a Trumper. And that's a generalization. That's probably not true for every single one, but I'm sure it's true for a lot. And again, that's on the fault of men for influencing their wives.

[Sam Morril]

Well, I feel terrible about this, guys. I'm sorry.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you. That's all I was looking for was an apology.

[Sam Morril]

I'm just trying to get pussy from this podcast.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, well, you will get it. You will get it by apologizing. That's the first step.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. I'm so sorry.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, Katherine, what do we have on on tap for today for Sam?

[Katherine]

All right, well, our first caller today is Morgan. The subject line of her email is My dad wants me to meet his Soon Yi. Dear Chelsea, I'm a 37 year old woman who's found herself living in the same town as her father after many years far, far away in NYC. My dad's dating life is a fiery disaster. He's 65, has done well financially and has ended two of his marriages by having illicit, highly choreographed affairs. Affairs. He's been married three times, the first being my mother. His most recently terminated relationship was with a 32 year old who was in need of financial help and entirely devoid of personality. He insisted that we meet her, which we did. And I attempted to get to know her despite being squarely between mine and my brother's age at the time. When she met my dad, he was more than happy to pay for her bachelor's degree in nursing, move her whole family into his home, including her brother, who was overcoming a gambling addiction. Addiction. And after a few tumultuous years, they ultimately married with zero guests in attendance. Six months later, they were separating after having given her the reins to property manage his real estate portfolio. She still runs it. He pays her handsomely. They're in the process of detangling it, but it's a mess. She'll ultimately gain a property or two from the whole sorted affair.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, lucky her.

[Katherine]

About a week ago, I got Engaged to the love of my life while on vacation in mountain Maui. The day I'm returning home, my dad asks if we would like to meet. Quote, Sammy, the 26 year old he's been courting long distance. I told him I wouldn't meet her until he met her parents. This whole saga is rote to me. Now he wants a trophy wife, which in his case just looks like a vulnerable young woman who may come from a troubled or a super religious upbringing. Sammy, the new girlfriend, is of the latter variety. I'm currently just biding my time before he proposes to yet another young woman, one he barely knows. Knows he intends to be engaged to Sammy first prior to meeting her very religious parents. What an absolute joke. His trust in women is bargain basement vibes sold dirt cheap. My dad and I are close, but I've learned to keep some distance in order to keep my peace. How do I proceed? Do I just kill with kindness and limit my time with him? I refuse to allow him to bring this new Sun Yi to my wedding. And I dread even just meeting this young woman who likes old men. But here I am just trying to, quote, let them them. Thanks again, Morgan.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Morgan. This is our special guest, Sam Morrell today.

[Sam Morril]

Hi, how are you?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, he's here to give you some straight heterosexual male advice on this topic. Perfect.

[Sam Morril]

What do you mean by highly choreographed affair? That. That sounds like John Wick fucking or something. That was. That was crazy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Same thing.

[Morgan (Caller)]

No, just that he had them at all, you know, or that they were highly secretive but like intentional.

[Katherine]

You know, a lot of scheduling involved.

[Morgan (Caller)]

A lot of scheduling involved a lot of. Yeah. Ground to cover.

[Chelsea Handler]

You want to limit your exposure to this woman?

[Morgan (Caller)]

Yeah, I find it kind of disheartening only because it's now becoming just such a rote pattern, you know, I mean, like, it doesn't really matter who it is, but essentially he just wants someone young. And it's like kind of devalues some of my relationship. Like, I love my dad, but his relationship with women is like.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like embarrassing.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Digest.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I mean, like, I would just limit your exposure to her at all. And just be honest with your dad. Like, I've already seen you get swindled by this other woman. This seems to be a pattern of behavior because there's not. There's more than just one. Right, Right.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Well, yeah, there was someone he recently had a brief marriage with who is.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like between marriage and that's the best kind to have.

[Sam Morril]

Is he like a romantic? Does he think that? Is he in this where he's like, this is the one. Is he that he.

[Morgan (Caller)]

He kind of has like this very old school kind of romance.

[Sam Morril]

But there's like a 40 year age gap, right?

[Morgan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

That's fucking awful. I remember reading about Sinatra dating Mia Farrow and he was like 60 and she was 21 and it's like, what the fuck do you talk about?

[Chelsea Handler]

It doesn't matter.

[Sam Morril]

My knees hurt. She's like, What?

[Chelsea Handler]

I saw 70. I was at a dinner the other night, There was a 70 year old, very famous 70 year old with a 21 year old. He's married, first of all. And he was there with a 21 year old girlfriend who was in. And I know she was 21 because she went to Pepperdine. She was actively a Pepperdine student in her last year. I don't understand. Well, maybe Sam could shed light on this. I think that first of all, men just need a woman. They can't be alone. Men have incredibly. Older men especially have an incredibly. That's why when men get divorced, they remarry immediately. And women get divorced and they're like, I'm never fucking getting married again. Because, because women are taking care of them and men want to be taken care of and they want a younger, hotter girl so that they feel relevant and that people look at them and go, oh my God, look at that, that. Look at that man with that young girl. He must be so incredible.

[Sam Morril]

But she must be. She's using him as well though, clearly.

[Chelsea Handler]

Obviously. Yeah. I mean, they're both using each other, so it's actually perfect.

[Morgan (Caller)]

The thing is like, I fully resigned myself to the fact that these relationships are transactional in nature. You know, it's like, why do I.

[Chelsea Handler]

Have to be involved? Well, why do you have to be involved though, is the question.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Well, that's the thing is like I've had moments where I just can't deal with the drama of his life.

[Sam Morril]

But I don't even understand why you are. I mean, just say like, hey, it's my wedding, you come. But I don't want her there. That's your wedding, that's cool, right? And then, and then, and then why else do you have to hang out with her? Just say I don't. It makes me uncomfortable. Just say I don't. I don't like that. That. Or you can try dating a black guy and really piss him off.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is it too late for you to date a black guy? Cuz aren't you getting married?

[Morgan (Caller)]

I'm getting married to somebody whose last name is white, so. And he's a white guy.

[Chelsea Handler]

That would be even better if he was black and his last name were white.

[Sam Morril]

Double whammy.

[Chelsea Handler]

That would be a double whoopsie doodle.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Yeah, that would be great too. I know that. I won't allow that to happen at my wedding or like, she won't be there. I think I know that. I used to work, live, you know, on the other side of the country. And now we're both living in the same town again after, you know, 17, 18 years.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's perfect because then that's your excuse. You don't have to go visit him to visit him. You're in the same town now. So that if you want to go to lunch with your father, you don't have to hang out with his girlfriend or whatever, you know, his prostitute slash wife. And when you said Soon Yi, that threw me for a loop de loop because I thought it was gonna be way worse. I realized it was his daughter. Right. Or his stepdaughter. Right. So it's not that bad. He's just a guy that's dating women that are too young and he's perfectly happy paying for them and being taken advantage of by them. Exactly. And that's fine, but you can separate the two. You can be like, listen, dad, we're in the same city now. I've had enough of your drama with these young women. It's obviously a transactional relationship. I don't want anything to do with it. It's embarrassing to me. I love you, you're my father. When I spend time with you, it's gonna just be us and that's it. And if you have a problem with that, then I'm sorry, but I have to set up some boundaries here because you've been doing. And this last hot mess, it impacted all of you.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Morril]

But also, he's not. And you know, you have lunch with him and that's it. He's not gonna try to bang any of your friends cuz they've aged out probably. So you're safe there. And then. Yeah, just hang out with your dad and just your dad.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And don't have sex with him.

[Morgan (Caller)]

No. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I hope this whole Soon Yi thing put a damper on this conversation.

[Sam Morril]

I can't throw out Soon Yi when it's not nearly that bad.

[Katherine]

I will say, Morgan, there is another very important piece to this that you'll want to have a serious convers with your dad about. And that is inheritance stuff. You know, him being. I know you said with his previous wife he had a prenup but that's, like, not actually enough. He needs to go to an elder law or estate planning attorney and basically talk to him about, like, hey, we don't want this to be a thing where, like, God forbid something happens to you, which it will eventually, that all of your assets go to this person who's 26 or whatever, and you need to, like, set it up so it follows the block. And any good elder law or estate planning attorney should be able to help him set up his assets in a way that, like, she can be provided for if they're still married at the, you know, time of his death. But it's not just like, okay, now she gets to go live her life with Biff the pool boy.

[Chelsea Handler]

In fact, I would use that as a bargaining chip. Like, I would say, if you do all of those things, she's allowed to be in my life 10% of the time that I see. I will tolerate her as long as you protect yourself financially from this. This woman.

[Sam Morril]

Have you met her?

[Morgan (Caller)]

No, I haven't met her. But essentially, when I got back from Maui a couple weeks ago, we had just got engaged and my dad was like, hey, do you mind just meeting Sammy really briefly tomorrow?

[Sam Morril]

He stole your shine. That's supposed to be your day.

[Morgan (Caller)]

And I was like, no. I mean, no. But also, have you met her parents yet? And he's like, no. And I'm like, well, yeah, how about you, like, meet her family? Or, like, understand a little bit of context. Like, you've spent a total of. Of what, 35 days with her over the course of a somewhat distance, you know, very new relationship. Like, why do you. It's just the financial dominance or like, whatever that is or whatever this kink is. It's like. It's just. He just needs to ascribe himself and wants to be in a dedicated romantic relationship. He wants to share his romance with everyone else in his life. And really, that's not a lot more than just his family members at this point. And so it's like, it's kind of a sad scenario. But yes, I appreciate what you said, Catherine, because a lot of it is kind of like, oh, is this also going to turn into some mess at the end of his life?

[Chelsea Handler]

I think that's the most important thing, you know, however he spends his time, whoever he wants to fuck, like, whatever, but you don't need it in your face all the time, but be reasonable. But also the financial aspect being the most important aspect, because you don't want these girls just, like, taking all of his money. I mean, he's basically paying for a wife or a girlfriend anyway. So let him go ahead and do that, but don't let that be turn into something in his will.

[Sam Morril]

Can I ask a question? What's the minimum age going forward that you'd be okay with him fucking and you meeting?

[Morgan (Caller)]

I mean, honestly, if.

[Sam Morril]

Because we get him to set his Tinder to that, then maybe we avoid this in the future, you know?

[Morgan (Caller)]

Yeah, well, Exactly. But I.

[Sam Morril]

40, 42.

[Morgan (Caller)]

At some point, it would just be someone who's like, in or around my age because I really did give that last girl a chance. You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

Ugh. Around your age. That's so gross to think of your father dating someone your own age.

[Morgan (Caller)]

It's fucking weird, right?

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Did I ever tell you the story, Katherine? My mother died. One week after my mother died, my father, Seymour Handler, who now, thank God is deceased, was in our kitchen. And my brother Roy went over to our house to check on my father on a 35 Morningside drive in Livingston, New Jersey. And his housekeeper, his Jamaican cleaning lady, was nude in the kitchen cleaning for him while he had his pants down on the sofa 20ft away from her. That was a week after my mother died. That is what happens to older men when they lose their wives. That's not all older men.

[Sam Morril]

I gotta get a new cleaning lady.

[Chelsea Handler]

I have. I would never, ever have known how disgusting my father was unless my mother had died. That's crazy disgusting.

[Sam Morril]

Wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

Can you imagine this poor woman?

[Sam Morril]

I mean, is that like her thing? Is that how she cleans?

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm sure he's like, hey, why don't you take your clothes off and clean, and I'll sit here and masturbate and I'll give you an extra 40 bucks. I mean, I'm sure that it was. It was something along those lines.

[Sam Morril]

That is fucking up.

[Chelsea Handler]

But imagine hearing that on your group, your family thread, like, hey, I just came over to Dad's house and guess who was naked in the kitchen? You're like, wow, this is a real bummer. Listen, old men can be gross and they can have gross designs, desires, but it is your father. So I think we've sorted this issue out. I think you're gonna be fine. And you just have to be very direct.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

All right.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Thank you so much.

[Katherine]

Thanks, Margaret.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're welcome.

[Katherine]

Follow up with us. Okay.

[Morgan (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I will. Bye. All right. Sam, do you think you'll be one of those men that when you get older, you're gonna want to date 20 year olds. Like, do you see how.

[Sam Morril]

No, I mean, I. I won't go that young now. I mean, I'm pretty.

[Chelsea Handler]

But you're not even 40 yet, so I don't think you really know until you're in your 50s as a man, if you're gonna go down that road.

[Sam Morril]

I just think that's too young for me. I don't really connect with that. Like, I. I'm trying to think of the youngest I would go.

[Chelsea Handler]

Cause at a certain point, they're not talking about anything. They're just there for, you know, it's like, I can't.

[Sam Morril]

It's a vessel for your penis. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Like a fuck doll.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's also to show off. I would imagine it's to show off.

[Sam Morril]

I don't think my friends would be impressed with it. I think they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing?

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. But I would imagine that the men who are doing that believe that people are looking at them with envy. Like, look at me, look what I have.

[Sam Morril]

I don't know. I think. I can't predict. I'm really unpredictable. I don't have a type, really. I'm pretty unpredictable with who I date, so I don't think I would do that. But, I mean, my ex was older than me. I've dated. Taylor's the youngest. Biggest age gap I've ever dated. Yeah. I don't know. I think if the person's hot, if I'm attracted to them, I don't give a shit.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, but it's just that there's a different thing that happens when there's somebody, a man that's over 60 or over 70, with somebody that's 20 to 30 years younger. I used to date guys that were, like, 20 years older than me when I was in my 20s. Now, I wouldn't date someone 20 years older than me because that means they're almost 70.

[Sam Morril]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, I'm not down for that either.

[Sam Morril]

It's real Sandy, what stage of your life are you in? What is interesting, you right now? What do you want to do with your life? Like, I don't want to date someone who's just figuring out who they are.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

You know, I'm pretty sure I'm pretty secure in who I am. And you date someone super young. You're just like, what? It takes a lot of people to form an identity, I think.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, it's also interesting what you say about, like, what stage of life you're in, because how many stages are there, you know?

[Sam Morril]

Oh, I was with a girl who was like, just like, I wanna say eight years younger than me recently, and she took me to this bar and I was like, this is fucking loud. You get to an age where you're like, this sucks. I don't like this.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's for sure. That I appreciate.

[Sam Morril]

So it's just. I mean, you go to certain bars, you're like, this is for a certain age. And then I always liked older people bars just cause I liked that you could have a conversation. Cause you know, soft jazz, we'll talk, we'll have a few drinks. But the loud music, I'm getting older. Like, I get it now. My mom will be in a restaurant with me and she'll be like, this is so fucking lo. I'm like, it's not that loud.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's what the LSD is for, to tolerate those situations.

[Sam Morril]

Really?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, totally. You can handle any situation on lsd.

[Sam Morril]

I hate loud.

[Chelsea Handler]

I understand what you mean. I also don't like loud. But like, if I need to get it up in that environment, meaning I need to go and hang in that kind of environment.

[Sam Morril]

I know you don't have a penis.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm not. I do have a penis.

[Sam Morril]

Damn.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I think we all know I have a penis.

[Sam Morril]

You do.

[Chelsea Handler]

But. Yeah, then I'll take. I'll take whatever. Whatever. I'll take whatever means necessary to get me into the mood to hang out in that situation.

[Sam Morril]

No, I know. I know what you mean. Like, I want to be a good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Sport, but I feel the same way as you. It's fucking annoying. Loudness is. Is annoying.

[Sam Morril]

I see young people waiting on lines for bars and stuff and I'm like, what the fuck?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. That's something I would never do.

[Sam Morril]

That's over. You don't do that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Sam Morril]

Time is valuable.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, let's. We'll take a break and we'll be right back with Sam Morrell. Pedigree believes dogs bring out the good in people. Pedigree brings out the good in them with high quality nutrition at an affordable whatever your dog's taste. Pedigree has a range of products and flavors to keep their tails wagging and their bowls empty. Their dry and wet dog foods encourage support, fortify and fuel a dog's power to be their healthiest and happiest selves at every stage of life. Pedigree dog food is 100% complete and balanced, supporting total health with no artificial flavors, no added sugar, and no high fructose corn syrup. Not to mention they have a great taste in every bowl because of their high quality. In addition to being a great dog food brand, Pedigree is also on a mission to help end dog homelessness. For over a decade, they have actively helped shelter dogs find a loving home through Pedigree Foundation. This is a separate 501c3 organization whose shelter and rescue grants have helped over 900,000 dogs since 2008. Learn more at pedigree.com feed-good and visit your local retailer to try Pedigree products for the nutrition your dog needs and a taste your dog feed the good if you're looking for a wine that's not just delicious but also a total crowd pleaser, let me introduce you to Josh Sellars. This California wine brand has over a dozen award winning wines. From crisp Sauvignon Blancs to velvety Merlots. Josh Sellers has the perfect wine for every occasion. Serving up a juicy steak at your next barbecue. Josh Sellers Cabernet Sauvignon is the perfect pairing. Unwinding with friends after a long week, you can't go wrong with their Pinot Gris. With so many delicious wines to choose from, Josh Cellars has something for everyone. Josh Cellars wines are made for sharing with those who matter most to you and each wine is made to exacting standards, so no matter which varietal you choose, you can be confident it will be well balanced and delicious. Josh Cellars is a proud sponsor of Dear Chelsea. Visit www.joshcellars.com Chelsea and join the Wine Club to get 20% off. Please drink responsibly.

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[Sam Morril]

Restrictions may apply at Walgreens we know flu season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give you our.

[Chelsea Handler]

Flu info in a meditation keeping you calm, just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will do if you're a Lynn Needle nervous.

[Sponsor/Commercial Voice]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Sam Morril]

That's the human kind of help.

[Chelsea Handler]

Walgreens vaccines subject to availability, state, age.

[Sponsor/Commercial Voice]

And health related restrictions may apply.

[Chelsea Handler]

And we're back to wrap it up with Sam Morrell. Sam, it was great. We've never met before. No, right.

[Sam Morril]

I've never met you.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's great. Because I was like, I always say that. And people are like, oh, yeah, we've met. I was on your show never. But no, we've never met before. So it's really nice to meet you.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And congrats on all of your success.

[Sam Morril]

You too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, you're really funny comic. Ladies, if you're watching and you're looking for a new male comic who's not disgusting and not a rapist, Sam Morrell's your man. His newest special is on Amazon and then he's got other specials on.

[Sam Morril]

That's my next credit, Netflix. Not a rapist.

[Chelsea Handler]

Not a rapist. He's not a. He's not like one of those guys, those male comics that are gross and detestable. He's not like that at all. He's normal. He's clean. He took a shower.

[Sam Morril]

The bar is so nice and low.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I did shower before I came a shower.

[Chelsea Handler]

I could tell he only burped once, but that was. It was an accident.

[Sam Morril]

It was a seltzer, though.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm not. Okay, well, you can go catch him on tour, guys. He's on the Errors tour. And if you're in Europe, you can go see him there.

[Sam Morril]

I'm everywhere in Europe almost, except a couple of the places she mentioned.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you can see him in Carnegie.

[Sam Morril]

Hall and Chicago Theater. October 4th.

[Chelsea Handler]

Chicago Theater October 4th, Carnegie Hall. December 4th, you said?

[Sam Morril]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Sam Morril]

Got Vegas coming up, too. Venetian, September 19th.

[Chelsea Handler]

Great.

[Sam Morril]

Yeah, I got a bunch of fun dates coming up.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Love it. Love it. And then go follow him on Instagram, you guys. Guys, his standup is really fucking funny. And you're gonna like those call in shows he. Or call ins. He does, too. Well, they're not call ins, so fuck it. Anyway, thanks, Sam. It was great to meet you.

[Sam Morril]

Nice sharing with you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I put up new Vegas dates, by the way, for next year. This year I will be there November 1st and November 29th. Those are my last two dates this year. Then I start up again January 31st, March 7th, April 18th and May 30th. And tickets are now on sale for all of those dates.

[Katherine]

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseipodcastmail.com find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching eercelseipod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert Executive Producer Kathryn Law, and be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.

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[Chelsea Handler]

Pedigree believes dogs bring out the good in people. Pedigree brings out the good in them with high quality nutrition at an affordable price. They offer a variety of tasty dry food and wet food that your dog will love. Made with high quality ingredients, great taste in every bowl and supports total health. Visit your local retailer to try Pedigree products for the nutrition you're dog dog needs and a taste your dog will love. Learn more at pedigree.comfeed-good feed the good this is Amy Brown from Feeling Things with Amy and Kat. Isopure protein helps you focus on more of what matters, like feeling your best every day. With great tasting nutrition that's high protein and low carb, it's never been simpler. I use Isopure unflavored protein every day and I have already restocked three times since first trying it. Actually I think I've bought it four times now because my daughter took a bag of it to her dad's house. With 25 grams of ultra filtered protein you can add it to things like guacamole, pasta sauce and more it tastes great on everything. Enjoy more of what matters [e-mail] and get 20% off your order when you use code MINES20 at checkout. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It is hot out there this summer, right? But don't sweat it. We got tons of ways to save on your family's favorite personal care items to keep yourself feeling cool and smelling good. Now through September 9th, earn four times points when you shop for items from.

[Sam Morril]

Your favorite brands like Right Guard, Raw.

[Chelsea Handler]

Sugar, Dove Soft Soap and Olay. Then use your points for discounts on groceries or gas on future purchases.

[Sam Morril]

Offer end September 9th. Restrictions apply.

[Chelsea Handler]

Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Katherine]

This is an iHeart podcast.