In His DMs with Tish Cyrus Purcell

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Dear Chelsea – "In His DMs with Tish Cyrus Purcell"

Release Date: May 7, 2026
Host: Chelsea Handler
Co-host: Katherine
Guest: Tish Cyrus Purcell

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Episode Overview

This Mother’s Day-themed episode of Dear Chelsea features mother, manager, and podcaster Tish Cyrus Purcell. Chelsea and Katherine dive into candid conversations about anxiety, motherhood, parenting under the spotlight, and Tish's inspiring second act — from handling Miley Cyrus’ professional trajectory to unexpectedly finding new love with actor Dominic Purcell via DM. The episode mixes honest advice for listeners with behind-the-scenes family stories and sharply funny banter.

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Main Discussion Topics & Insights

1. Tish's Journey with Anxiety and Marijuana

[05:40–09:34]

• Chelsea revisits a previous conversation with Tish, who had stopped smoking marijuana due to increased anxiety.
• Tish shares she still deals with anxiety but sometimes smokes at night, emphasizing new caution:

  "Now I just have this fear of everything with the anxiety. So I'm like, so afraid it'll give me anxiety. That it'll definitely give me anxiety." (Tish, 06:09)

• Discussion about how bodies and baselines change with age, and the importance of processing life events rather than escaping them through substances.
• Chelsea and Tish examine the unique appeal and drawbacks of weed, specifically for those who’ve relied on it for years.

2. Parenting, Manager-Mom Balance, and Raising Miley & Siblings

[09:34–15:45]

• On the 20th anniversary of Hannah Montana, Chelsea points out how much Tish and Miley look alike—a "twinning" that even surprises them.
• Tish reflects on being both a mom and manager, emphasizing trust and authenticity:

  "As long as you're being authentically, you go for it... If I'm always coming from the right place, in a place of love, I can't steer her wrong." (Tish, 13:07)

• She explains how maintaining family togetherness (bringing the other kids on tour) positively impacted Miley's development and how experiential learning on the road outmatched classroom time.

  "I think they learned way more being on the road, living life...than they ever would sitting in a classroom." (Tish, 16:00)

3. Tish’s Second Act: Divorce and Finding Love Again

[16:36–19:05]

• Tish recounts her post-divorce journey and how, on a friend’s dare, she DMed Dominic Purcell (of Prison Break) under the guise of a creative pitch.

  "[He] dings me back in like five seconds... And we played darts and hang out and then we made out and it was just like, wow." (Tish, 18:07)

• The importance of communication was a revelation in the new relationship:

  "I did not know how to communicate in any way... I felt like I just needed to be so strong. And because I really kind of did run everything, like, our entire family." (Tish, 23:47)

• Dominic’s unwavering emotional support during her anxiety struggles:

  "He did not leave my side. Like, he did not work. He did not... He, like, really was just like, I cannot leave my wife. Like, this is critical time." (Tish, 27:41)

4. Gender, Empowerment, and Love Languages

[23:35–28:16]

• Tish discusses learning to advocate for herself instead of just for her children or partner.

  "He just tries to empower me so much... He's always like, 'You've got to stand up for Tish.'" (Tish, 26:22)

• Honest chat around what women need from men—Chelsea jokes about the scarcity of emotionally mature straight men and her efforts to matchmake.

5. Advice Session: Listener Call-Ins

a. Choosing Partners and Green Flags

[38:46–41:53]

• Caller Sarah wonders about “fixer” relationships and dating older men.
• Chelsea advises against dating projects:

  "Nobody wants to feel like a mother. I don't wanna be telling you what to do... As soon as you feel like you're parenting or you're mommying, then you wanna just exit out of that..." (Chelsea, 40:24)

• Tish admits to having played that role and appreciates the freedom and joy of being cared for.

b. Mothers, Caregivers & Self-Care

[42:10–50:49]

• Caller Katie, a mom of three juggling caregiving and work, struggles to carve out self-care time.
• Tish stresses the critical importance of prioritizing self-care before you lose yourself:

  "I wish so bad that at the time that you're in, in your life that I would have taken time to do self care and to build a friend group that was there to support me, not just support like the playdates." (Tish, 44:25)

• Chelsea offers practical suggestions: ask explicitly for solo time, set small achievable self-care goals, and remember the chaos is temporary.

c. Moving On from a Cheating Ex

[54:57–60:09]

• Listener Elizabeth struggles with seeing her ex (her child's father) post-divorce despite his past infidelities.
• Tish and Chelsea both note the power of accepting what is, versus what could have been:

  "You have to accept that the relationship is over... what's ahead could be even more beautiful than what you had." (Chelsea, 57:30) "For me, it was really having to, like, really make my brain focus on how things had gotten, how things were instead of how they should be or could be." (Tish, 57:22)

• The episode ends with hope: "Anything is possible in your life. As soon as you cut these heartstrings... just start to look at him for what he is, which is your children's father, and that's it." (Chelsea, 59:10)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [13:07] Tish Cyrus Purcell:
  "As long as you're being authentically, you go for it... if I'm always coming from the right place in a place of love, I can't steer her wrong."
• [18:07] Tish Cyrus Purcell:
  "He dings me back in like five seconds... We played darts and hang out, and then we made out and it was just like, wow."
• [23:47] Tish Cyrus Purcell:
  "Number one, communication, I did not, I did not know how to communicate in any way..."
• [27:41] Tish Cyrus Purcell:
  "He did not leave my side. Like, he did not work. He did not... He, like, really was just like, I cannot leave my wife."
• [44:25] Tish Cyrus Purcell:
  "I wish so bad that at the time that you're in, in your life that I would have taken time to do self care and to build a friend group that was there to support me..."
• [57:22] Tish Cyrus Purcell:
  "For me, it was really being—having to, like, really make my brain focus on how things had gotten, how things were instead of how they should be or could be."
• [57:30] Chelsea Handler:
  "You have to accept that the relationship is over... what's ahead could be even more beautiful than what you had."

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Key Timestamps

• 05:40 – Tish discusses anxiety and marijuana
• 09:34 – Managing Miley and navigating fame as a family
• 16:36 – Tish on divorce, DMing Dominic Purcell, and new beginnings
• 23:47 – Discovering healthy relationship dynamics, self-advocacy
• 38:46 – Caller Sarah: avoiding “fixer” relationships, seeking green flags
• 42:10 – Caller Katie: being a mom, caregiver, and prioritizing self-care
• 54:57 – Caller Elizabeth: moving on emotionally from a cheating ex
• 60:17 – End-of-episode wrap, potential for a Tish Cyrus memoir

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Tone & Takeaways

• Open, humorous, and relatable: Chelsea’s snark and Tish’s sincerity—plus plenty of real talk about parenting, love, and change.
• Focus on radical acceptance and evolving: Whether it’s facing anxiety, embracing self-worth, or starting over after heartbreak, the message is to accept what is, advocate for yourself (even if late in life), and believe in new, surprising happiness.
• Motherhood in every form: Managing, nurturing, letting go, and building a new life—not just for your kids but for yourself.
• Advice is compassionate but unsparing: Listeners get both empathy and a nudge toward self-awareness or change.

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For Further Listening

Check out Tish Cyrus Purcell’s podcast, Sorry, We’re Cyrus, for more stories and conversations about family, fame, and finding yourself—at any age.

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Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

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Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

For the High and mighty tour people, we are rocking and rolling. These are the shows we have coming up.

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May 15th, I will be in Saratoga. May 16th, Monterey. May 17th, Modesto, I. I will be in Port Chester on June 4th.

[Chelsea Handler]

And we added two new dates to the High and Mighty Tour. On June 3rd, I am coming to Saratoga Springs, New York. So a pre sale has begun for that. And then on June 28, I am coming to Nantucket and pre sale has started on that.

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June 5, I will be in Boston, Massachusetts.

[Chelsea Handler]

June 12, I will be in Portland, Oregon. And June 13, I will be in Seattle, Washington. June 27, it's going to be Hyannis, Massachusetts.

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August 6 is Red Bank, New Jersey. August 7, I'm coming home to Montclair, New Jersey.

[Chelsea Handler]

August 15 is Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

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September 18, Santa Barbara. September 19, San Diego.

[Chelsea Handler]

September 25, I will be at the

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Beacon in New York City. September 26, I will be in Philadelphia. September 27, New Haven, Connecticut. October 2, Atlanta, Georgia. October 3, Baltimore, Maryland. October 4, Saginaw, Michigan. October 9, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. October 10, Toronto, Canada.

[Chelsea Handler]

October 16, I'm coming to Boise, Idaho. October 17, Spokane, Washington.

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November 7, I will be in San Francisco and November 13, Salt Lake City. November 20, Austin. November 21, Houston, Texas.

[Chelsea Handler]

November 22, Irving, Texas. December 5, I am adding a second show in Denver for those of you

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who couldn't get tickets to the first. And on December 6, I will be

[Chelsea Handler]

coming to Vancouver, Canada. Okay, those are all my dates for

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the High and Mighty Door.

[Chelsea Handler]

Go to Chelsea handler.com for tickets. Hello, Katherine.

[Katherine]

Hi, Chelsea. What shows do you have coming up this week?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Well, I just did my Netflix as a joke show, but there is a

[Chelsea Handler]

Kevin Hart roast on Sunday night for

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

the Netflix is a joke festival and I don't think anything's public, but I would just say stay tuned to that.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Ooh, are you.

[Katherine]

Do you do roasts very often or is this.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I've never done a roast, but this roast is gonna close out the festival and it's for Kevin Hart.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you know how I feel about Kevin Hart.

[Katherine]

That's basically like your entire interaction with him is just like roasting him the entire time you're together anyway, so I know you'll do amazingly.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

So he's an absolutely ridiculous person and

[Chelsea Handler]

he needs to Hear that?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

On a regular basis to keep his little tiny feet on the ground.

[Katherine]

Well, I mean, he's a dad, but today is our Mother's Day.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Oh, yes, yes. Kevin Deros, ironically, is on Mother's Day. He'll do anything to get out of having plans with his wife on her special day. Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

We have a very special mother who

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

is so sweet and responsible for raising

[Chelsea Handler]

lots and lots of children.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

She has a podcast called Sorry, we're Cyrus. She is a manager, a producer, and she's here for our Mother's Day special. Please welcome Tish Cyrus Purcell.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Last time I saw you, Tish, we were talking about our love of marijuana, and you said that you had to quit smoking marijuana because you were getting anxiety. And I would like an update because the last time I saw you was about a year ago, and before that, it was about a year that you had quit.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes. So still dealing with anxiety.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It's freaking horrible and way better. Definitely functioning. Living my life where before I was not, but still, like, at night, I'll smoke here and there, but I still. Now I just have this fear of everything with the anxiety. So I'm like, so afraid it'll give me anxiety. That it'll definitely give me anxiety.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

So I only smoke when I'm feeling really, really good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because then you have room to spare.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Oh, my gosh.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're like, then I have a little margin of error. I can handle that.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I just. I love marijuana.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love marijuana, too. I smoked some last night in my bed, and it felt so great. Like, I just moved into this house, as you can see, and it felt so nice to sit in my bed in my underwear and smoke a joint.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Oh, it's the best.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I understand what you're saying about, like, if anything causes you anxiety, then it becomes more anxiety inducing to even contemplate doing it.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

And the only thing I sometimes feel like that could relate to what you're saying is sometimes when I'm smoking weed, there's a period of like a 15 to 20 minute bubble where you have no self consciousness at all and you get lost in it. And it's such a beautiful feeling to be lost in a conversation or lost in a book or lost in, like, whatever you're doing, organizing at your house. But then when you remember that you're stoned.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Oh, totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

And there's a shift that goes, oh, you're stoned. And then you start having that kind of anxiety.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

One million percent.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

The 15 to 20 is Heaven Lake Paradise. But, you know, used to before the anxiety that I've had for the last few years. I don't really feel like I hit that 20 minute and even thought about. But you know what? I was kind of stoned 24 7.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, well that's what happens sometimes. We just have to really like break it off and let our body like re acclimate and then our physiology changes as we get older too, which is a fucking pain in the ass.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It sucks.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I'm not gonna ever stop drinking. Did you stop drinking?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I never was a drinker. I just. Just weed. But now people say like. Well, my therapist, when I talk about the weed thing and my love for it and I miss it and I just. Because she was like. But you were never kind of just like on an even keel. You were. Because I would. I mean I did smoke like at night. I smoked a lot, you know, and smoked during the day. So I was kind of like. I don't think I ever had a baseline of not being stoned for like 10 years.

[Chelsea Handler]

Did you wake up and smoke weed?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I did not do that. But I definitely thought when I woke up I definitely was still high. Do you feel like that?

[Katherine]

Oh really?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

From the night before, I definitely feel like I was still like just chilled and somewhat. Not completely not stuck.

[Katherine]

Like a really nice hangover.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes. In the best possible way.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that's great then.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

And then would start smoking about like 2pm Something like that. But it was every single song. Do you smoke every day?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I don't smoke every day.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

That's the difference. I was smoking every single day.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but there are days where I wake up and immediately take an edible where I'm like, this is going to be hard and I just medicate. But. But that doesn't happen that often either. I definitely go through phases. When I go to Whistler Canada and I'm there for winter, I definitely wake and bake. Like I get up, I smoke weed, I go skiing, I smoke more weed, I come home. You know, like, that's my vibe up there. But when I'm in la, it's not the same vibe.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Right. I think now I'm just probably from what I'm learning during all this damn therapy I've been doing is I am just learning to kind of process things that happened over the last 10 years that I did not process in any way, shape or form because I was just high. And so I'm having to kind of. Which absolutely sucks. And I'm just learning to do that.

[Chelsea Handler]

And that's where your anxiety comes from.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, that's where our anxiety comes from for all of us. Like, trauma or stuff that we had to deal with that we weren't really present for, which most people aren't, because there's all these defense mechanisms that we build in order to protect ourselves from dealing with anything traumatizing or dramatic. Okay, congratulations. 20th anniversary of Hannah Montana. Yes. I was watching Miley and I was like, oh, my God, you guys have morphed into the same exact person.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It's really craz.

[Chelsea Handler]

Crazy. You look like fucking twins now.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It's so nuts. Like, and she, like, we were shopping the other day, and I was in, like, a store next door to the store she was in, and I hear her come down and she was like. She was like, mom, I literally looked in the window, but it was my reflection, but I thought it was you. And it was a whole weird thing for me. And she was like, I'm really kind of scared. I'm scared that I have absolutely morphed into you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Isn't that so crazy?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It's weird.

[Chelsea Handler]

And what about the other kids? Are they looking as much like you? I mean, Brandi does a little bit, but not in the way that you and Miley are like twins. Well, I want. Actually, let's circle back to the pot smoking, because if you're managing all five of them, you have five children, you might as well have 17 at this point.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Okay, I don't manage all of them.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, but didn't you at some point manage all of them?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

At some point? I was very. I was not with Brandi. She always did the DJ thing, which wasn't. I didn't know anything about that with Noah. I managed her when she was really young, but also I was getting older. And it is just like doing that when your kids are younger is much harder because you're the mom and the manager. And it's just like a constant battle. Everything's a battle at that time. So Noah has had her own manager for a long time. So I really, really just am in the literal weeds day to day on the Molly stuff, which is a lot. And. But it's also. I don't know. I say this all the time. I really don't know how we did that and came out unscathed in, like, a crazy way. But I don't know how we came out in it to where we are still best friends. I'm her manager and her mom, and, like, we love each other. And, like, you even like each other. And, like, it just works seamlessly for Us somehow. And I don't. Like, I look back and I'm like, damn, we did so much. And she grew up in front of the world, and, you know, she went through her own stuff, and somehow we made it through in the best possible way.

[Chelsea Handler]

Can you think of a time where you gave her advice or guided her in a certain direction that you're most proud of?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

You know, I think for me, one of the things is like, you know, when she was like, listen, we all grew up and we all did crazy shit, and Molly was doing everything in front of the world. But also Molly was such a creative genius during those periods of time which, you know, I think some people were just, like, watching her and it was like this growing up thing. But I always saw, like, her mind and creatively what she was doing her entire career. And so for me, it's just like some of the things that I was watching her do, like, even I didn't understand and looking back off it, I was always just telling her to be authentically who she was. Like, no matter what, no matter what somebody from a label is saying or just whoever, as long as you're being authentically, you go for it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

And no matter what she was doing, there was never a time that I wasn't just. Somebody told me one, if you're always coming from a place of love, it works out. And I always had to keep that in mind with. While I was managing her. And also, like, being number one, her mom, you know, but also being her friend and then the manager there was always, for me, just like, if I'm always coming from the right place in a place of love, I can't steer her wrong. And I really did live by that during all those years and just kind of letting her be who she was and who she is. And now I look at her and I'm like, holy crap, girl, you did good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, totally.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

You know, when I. When I see her now, it's like, I am so blown away by who she is.

[Chelsea Handler]

Me too.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It's really crazy.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. It is really impressive. Did you ever look at all of these other girls and think I should step in and take over the ones whose parents weren't as coming from a place of love?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, you must have felt that way, because I feel that way and I'm not even a mother.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally. And people, you know, even with Molly, people would, you know, look at me and be like, where's her mother? And I'm like, right there, like, right beside her every step of the way. But handling it, I don't know, in just a way that made Molly feel safe, I think. And I just. Look, I just. And I was. I really did. Even though I had all these other children, I think, like, when we went on, when Molly was on the road, I took them, you know, and that was like a hard decision too, because it was like I wanted them to have their own lives, but I also didn't want to leave them with, like, a nanny or whatever. So, like, Noah Brazen would go on the road with us and we'd have a teacher. And, you know, it kind of felt like just being at home on the road because the family was all around. And I think that's another huge thing that probably helped Molly, just having her family around all the time.

[Chelsea Handler]

And do you think that was beneficial for the kids now, in retrospect?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Because I feel like, you know, I'm, like, crazy about, like. I think the school system is insane and how we teach, the kids learn and all these things. I think they learned way more being on the road, living life, having those experiences, also having a teacher out there where they were actually doing school, but also just learning way more than they ever would sitting in a classroom and going to homeroom. And, you know, I just feel like it was a completely different life. They grew up quick, too. You know, they grew up. I do feel like they probably had to grow up faster than a lot of kids, But I look at them now and they're both also just well rounded and very independent. And so when I look back on it, I feel like it was absolutely the right choice.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, what I love about your story, too, is a good fucking job.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Mothers need to be told that all the time. I know you didn't do it alone. I know your husband was there, too. Your ex husband was there too. But let's just say that what I love about your story is that now you have a whole new story of your own. So you did all of this work and you went on the road and you played the role of mother and manager, not just for one of your children, for all of your children at different times. Maybe not the manager part, but, you know, being a mother to all of them while this was all happening. And then you get to have your next chapter, which is, like, really inspiring because you got divorced and you probably had no idea that you were gonna fall in love with this man, Dominic. So can you fill our listeners in on that story and how you guys met and that stuff? Cause it's pretty cute.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes, it's so cute. So, yes, I did all those things. And, you know, I didn't ever really think I would get a divorce. That was not in the cards at all for me. And, you know, that happened. And so I literally just. I love, love. And one of my friends at the time, you know, I was devastated. I'd been married for so long, since I was like 24 years old, so I didn't know anything different and had never been, like, on a date. Like a date and whatever. So. So one of my friends just said, if you could go out with anyone in the world, like, who is your, like, dream guy?

[Chelsea Handler]

How long after, were you still in devastation mode at this point or were you in recovery mode?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I was pretty much. I. I think I was at that point in shock mode.

[Chelsea Handler]

Blindsided.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes. And just the. I don't know where I was at, honestly, I was stoned. But when she asked me that, I had always. I loved the show Prison Break and I just always thought Dominic was so dreamy and just like so gorge. And so when she said that and she happened to be an agent, and I was like, Dominic Purcell. And she was like, you need to DM him right now. And I was like, what? I am not doing that. And she was like, no, you're doing it. And so I did. And at the time, it was funny. I had a deal at NBCU to do TV shows. And so when I DMed him, I was like, hey, Dominic, you know, I don't know if you live in Australia or la, but I have a TV deal at nbcu. And I such a huge fan of Prison Break. Don't know what you're up to, but what do you think about getting together and talk about, like, maybe creating a show together or whatever? He literally, I'm talking, dings me back in like five seconds. And he goes, hi, love. Like, yes, let's do that. Like what? Let's, let's get lunch or whatever. And I'm like, okay. And then he's like, how about tomorrow? And we meet up at this little crazy place called Pickwicks. It's a little Irish pub in Sherman Oaks. And he's drinking and I'm smoking weed and we played darts and hang out and then we made out and it was just like, wow. Like, this is crazy. And we had so much fun. And it really was something that kind of like saved me at that moment. I think,

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[Chelsea Handler]

a lot of things that most people don't.

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[Chelsea Handler]

and entrepreneurs, there is a constant challenge getting things done fast and done well. Why not have both? That's why wix Harmony stands out. It's an AI website builder that helps create a website quickly without compromising your vision. A full, functional site can be built for any business just by describing the idea. Then you can choose to chat with AI or edit everything manually to get it exactly right. There's also Aria, an AI agent available to answer questions or help complete tasks. And here's what makes it even better. Aria doesn't just live in a chat box. You can click anywhere on your site and ask her to make changes instantly. It's these details that make creating with Wix Harmony feeling seamless. Join millions of businesses already using WIX and try Wix Harmony for [e-mail] Harmony that's wix.com Harmony this show is brought to you by BetterHelp. May is mental Health Awareness Month, a reminder that whatever you're going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Life is a journey. Some days feel good and others feel overwhelming. Whatever's keeping you up at night, it's easy to feel like you have to figure it out all on your own. But the truth is, no one has all of the answers. Having someone with you to listen, to understand and to support you can make all the difference this month. Check in with yourself and understand where you are right now. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, anxious or unsure, it's okay. Those feelings are more common than we think and we don't have to navigate them alone. That's why there's BetterHelp. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, Having served

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

over 6 million people globally and it

[Chelsea Handler]

works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] dearchelsea that's betterhelp.com dearchelsea longevity is getting a lot of attention right now, especially when it comes to what we put into our bodies. But one of the most visible signs of aging shows up on the skin, and it's associated with a decline in cellular energy. That's why Obagi Medical approaches longevity skin care differently. As skin loses energy over time, it doesn't regenerate or renew itself as efficiently. And that's when you start to see changes like dullness, fine lines, and loss of firmness. Trusted by dermatologists for over 35 years, Obagi is innovating with skin longevity at

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the skin cell level.

[Chelsea Handler]

Their breakthrough new gen cellular renewal serum is formulated with their proprietary age control complex and powered by NAD to support skin's natural renewal processes and help address multiple visible signs of aging. Ooh la la. In clinical testing, skin appeared up to six years younger after 12 weeks of use. If you're looking to support skin longevity with a clinically backed approach, learn [e-mail] and new customers can use code Chelsea15 for 15% off qualifying orders. Terms apply. Okay, so you guys got together.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

We did.

[Chelsea Handler]

You had a great first date. That sounds like an adorable first date. Kissing in the afternoon is really, really cute, right?

[Caller (Katie)]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

You kiss somebody in the daytime for the first time. That's cute.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes. It was great. Yeah. And then so then the next day he texts me, like, how do we do this again? Like when I'm like, I don't. I didn't. Let me know. And so he called me and then we just saw each other constantly. And pretty quickly he said, yep, I love you. Like, let's do this. And I was like, great. And we just, we started seeing each other, like, consistently and here we are.

[Chelsea Handler]

And what are some of the things that you discovered about yourself being in this kind of new, different relationship that you didn't even know existed within a relationship? Maybe.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Oh my gosh. Well, number one, communication, I did not, I did not know how to communicate in any way. And I think that was probably a big, you know, thing is, like, there was just no communication. Like, even now I feel like I, I'm more close up and close myself off and like, go hide in my room or something instead of like, like speaking up and saying like, you know, I really like for me, I just, I love, like to be cuddled and like, I need to like, I guess my love language is touch, probably, or words of affirmation. And like, I could, if I am feeling any way I will just go to Dom and be like, I'm feeling sad. I need a cuddle. And, like, it's just like, he, like, is so. I have never gotten anything from him but love. When it's anything in anything in my world that's, like, wrong or I'm feeling a certain way. Like, I used to be so scared to voice those things. I felt like I just needed to be so strong. And because I really kind of did run everything, like, our entire family, everything kind of really did fall on me to. To handle. And I feel like this is the first time I've actually felt like I had a partner that, you know, and that's taken a lot to get used to. And also, I feel like for me, it was always like, there's such a calmness in my life now, and I'm having a hard time with that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, interesting.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah, I think, I mean, in therapy, that's what I'm learning is, like, I have lived in so much. Not bad chaos necessarily, like, just chaos in general for so long, which I love.

[Chelsea Handler]

I actually like it too. I love chaos. I know what you mean. I thrive in chaos.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Me too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because then everything's just moving, moving, moving. It's hard to sit and stop and be like, uh, oh, when I do

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

that is when it's not good for me. It's not good for me.

[Chelsea Handler]

And also, I would imagine because you are such, like, the orchestra conductor of Miley's life and making all the decisions, like, you have no problem being assertive on behalf of her.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

But when it comes to you, it's a different situation.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Completely different. And I don't know what that was.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I think that's true for a lot of women. Like, I think we are able to stand up for each other or sometimes more than we are. Like, if it's our daughter, our sister, our mother, you know, totally anybody, you can go to bat for someone else sometimes much more easily than we can defend or stand up for ourselves.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Way easier.

[Chelsea Handler]

So I think that's common.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah. And I will say, and I do this on my podcast, where I'm like, Brandy's like, here we go on the Dom show. But I will say I literally, I have actually never met someone like him because I, like, it is. It's so crazy to me because it has to be, like, conscious, because it is very much like, he just tries to empower me so much, not to only, like. Like to be communicated, communicative with him. But, like, he's always like, you are so strong. Look what You've done. Look what you've done. This, you know, and he's like, you've got to stand up for Tish. Like, you know, he, like, really has in the last few years, just really? Because I have struggled with the anxiety thing so much, and let me tell you, like, holy crap. Like, he has just been. Poor thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Rock.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Like a freaking rock. But the part of kind of teaching me to lean into my power and what I've already accomplished, because I actually didn't really even see it because I was so in, it has been amazing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Amazing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. That's beautiful.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm so happy for you.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah. He like.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he sounds so wonderful and lovely. Like, if all men could just be like that, then we wouldn't have half the problems that we have.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Oh, for real? And, like, even the first year where my anxiety was, like, completely out of control, like, truly, he did not leave my side. Like, he did not work. He did not. He, like, really was just like, I cannot leave my wife. Like, this is critical time, like, for me to, like, be there and get her through this. And he really did. And that, like, he. Listen, I'm not saying he's perfect. Like, he loves to watch sports and I want to watch. There's these little things. But as a man, like you said, if every man was like that, it would be a different world.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. If every man was encouraging to women to stand up for themselves and to search their truth and to set the time aside for when someone needs you to actually be available to them. I mean, that's a luxury item. Also, not everybody has the ability to do that financially. But those aren't the only ways to show up. And it's very nice to hear about men that are doing that.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally. Speaking of men, at one point, I gotta tell you about my friend. So I've been seeing on your Instagram, you helping men find love.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, well, I'm trying to help women find love. But the men problem is, there's, like, we need men. We need straight men that are available and respectful and respectable.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes. I was talking about gay men.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah. There's a lot of the gay men. But also, like, that is not. Gay men are fucking. They're already fucking.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

That is so true.

[Chelsea Handler]

They're all fucking. So it's like, the fact that they're, like, leaning on me to meet them so that they can fuck more. I'm like, guys, this is really for straight women is who I was trying to help.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Okay. Because I was thinking, go ahead.

[Chelsea Handler]

Your friend is a gay Man.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes. And he definitely sent you something into the dm. But I was thinking, because he was telling me all about it, I was thinking this was mostly for gay men. So you're helping women.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I don't know where it got out, probably because my audience is probably mostly gay men and women. And there's definitely not straight men hitting me up in the way that they. I'm asking them to. But yeah, I've gotta broaden my. I have some opportunities have arrived that I'm like, should I do something like this? Cause I really do. I think in times like that we're living in, I just want everyone to be fucking and having a good time.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

Everyone should at least be having sex with someone that they are attracted.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

At the very minimum.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yep.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Agree. Oh, yeah. I wish I knew good straight guys.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, if you do find any and you come across them, send them my way. Because I have so many women. I have so many. These women are in my DMs, like, please help us. Help us. These dating apps are atrocious.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Oh, my God. I can't.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I guess there's just a dish. The problem is, did you ever do the dating apps?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I did not.

[Chelsea Handler]

You didn't get that far.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

That has to be horrible.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And you know, and I think that's also problematic because there's such abundance on the dating app. So you can just swipe through people and you don't really take them seriously like you would going on a date with someone. You're looking at like 50 girls in a day. So how are you gonna focus on one? You're like, looking for the next best thing. So there's. They need to re engineer these dating apps anyway. More to come on that. More to come. I'm gonna stay focused on it.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Okay, you should. It's. It. Honestly, it is so needed.

[Chelsea Handler]

How long after you started seeing Dominic did you guys get married?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

We got married in a year and a half. Did we. We met in 20. God, I'm so bad. We met in February of 22 and we got married in August of 23.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

So a year and a half.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, that's. That's. And how long has it been?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah, just a.

[Chelsea Handler]

Two years.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

We've been married two years and we've been together over four. Four in February.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Well, when I saw you, I went on your podcast, which is called. Sorry, we're Cyrus.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

That you and Brandi do together, which is great fun. Have you had a good time doing the podcast?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Love it more than anything.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, really? What do you love about it?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

You know what? I. Honestly, this is something else I've learned is, like, I really don't give myself props for being good at anything. Like, I'm like, what am I good at? Like, I was good at managing Molly. That went well. But, like, there are never really anything that I think about that I love to do. And I've found that with the podcast, like, I really do love talking to people. It's my favorite thing. And I love, like, instead of just like, shooting the. Like, I actually love kind of a deep conversation. And I feel like I'm pretty good at it. Like, I. I think it's more. It's not something like that I prepare for. For three days or, like, I kind of just go into it as like, I'm just shooting the shit with a friend. And that even I had Olander yawn, which I had not seen Love island at the time. And everybody afterwards, everybody just freaked out on how great it was because it wasn't about the show, that it was about her. And I think for me, it gave me this confidence in doing the pod that I had never had. And because I really didn't know if I felt like I was good at it. And I had all these people, like, just really being like, we really didn't know Alandria at all. And we felt like we got to know her through you. And she was from the south, which made it easy. And so, I don't know, it just is something that I've really, like. I look forward to it every time I get to do it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's nice. I know. That's a nice surprise, too.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It's really a nice surprise.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's just so nice the way this, like, second act of your life is working out for you.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Well, let's hope. Cause that's another. That's another one of my mental problems. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm old. Oh, my God. Like, what if I don't get to work anymore? Oh, my gosh, what if no one wants to come on the podcast? Oh, my gosh. Like, this is what my brain does. And so. And it's hard. Like, I have five kids at home, and now no kids at home.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, there's like a. There. There's like, a great solution that I always do whenever I have, like, a negative thought pattern or. And it's from that book that I always talk about called Letting Go by David Hawkings, which is whenever you have a thought, there's always a Direct opposite thought. Like, when is someone gonna come on. What if no one wants to come on my podcast? The opposite thought is, what if everyone wants to come on my podcast? What if I don't have enough space for everybody? And if you just flip to the opposite, it works if you keep doing it. And so that's a good little hack that I use when I'm like, even if I'm not. Like, if I have to go do something that I don't wanna do, I'm like, yeah, you do. You wanna go. Look how excited. Look how great it's going to be when you get there. You're going to light up the whole place and everything's going to be so much fun and you're going to have a good time. And then by the time I get there, I'm in a good mood about it.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Okay, so it's a good trip process that's going.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

She's the one.

[Chelsea Handler]

You can remind her. Remind her please.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

She deals with me most.

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[Chelsea Handler]

there is a constant challenge getting things done fast and done well. Why not have both? That's why Wix Harmony stands out. It's an AI website builder that helps create a website quickly without compromising your vision. A fully functional site can be built for any business just by describing the idea. Then you can choose to chat with AI or edit everything manually to get it exactly right. There's also Aria, an AI agent available to answer questions or help complete tasks. And here's what makes it even better. Aria doesn't just live in a chat box. You can click anywhere on your site and ask her to make changes instantly. It's these details that make creating with Wix Harmony feel seamless. Join millions of businesses already using Wix and try WIX Harmony for [e-mail] harmony that's wix.com harmony when it's time to get a new car, where do you start? Car shopping can be, honestly, a little overwhelming, but it should be fun. Buying your next car should be exciting. And it can be. And if you can remember one thing, it's cars.com My dad was a used car salesman, so I know way more than I want to about the car buying process. And that means I also know how to get a good deal. And that's also why I'm uniquely qualified to tell you how easy it is to find the Perfect car on Cars.com Cars.com has the tools and expert advice to help you figure out what vehicle is right for you. Their site is super easy to use, and their advanced search filters allow you to filter over 2 million new and used cars to find the exact car that you're looking for. Every review is written by a real person, reflecting a real life experience. That's how you know you can trust the dealerships on cars.com cars.com features transparent deal ratings, including tools and badges to help shoppers understand the price of a vehicle and find the best deal. Finding a good deal is pretty important, and by understanding how a car's price compares to others in the area, Cars.com will help seal the deal. So don't take any chances. Do car shopping the easy way. Start your search with cars.com where to next longevity is getting a lot of attention right now, especially when it comes to what we put into our bodies. But one of the most visible signs of aging shows up on the skin, and it's associated with a decline in cellular energy. That's why Obagi Medical approaches longevity skin care differently. As skin loses energy over time, it doesn't regenerate or renew itself as efficiently, and that's when you start to see changes like dullness, fine lines, and loss of firmness. Trusted by dermatologists for over 35 years, Obagi is innovating with skin longevity at

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

the skin cell level.

[Chelsea Handler]

Their breakthrough New Gen Cellular Renewal Serum is formulated with their proprietary Age Control Complex and powered by NAD to support skin's natural renewal processes and help address multiple Visible signs of aging. Ooh la la. In clinical testing, skin appeared up to six years younger after 12 weeks of use. If you're looking to support skin longevity with a clinically backed approach, learn [e-mail] and new customers can use code Chelsea15 for 15% off qualify orders. Terms apply. Are we going to take some?

[Katherine]

We're ready to take some.

[Chelsea Handler]

We have live callers call in and you're the only mother in this room, so we might have to defer to you on a couple of things.

[Katherine]

So Sarah says. Dear Chelsea, hello. I'm a 20 year old college student who would love advice on what to look for in a partner. I have dated in the past and I'm drawn to boys who need me to fix them and I'm quite frankly over it. What green flags are there to look for when it comes to men and should I start dating older men, if anything?

[Chelsea Handler]

Kindly Sarah so pretty general question.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Pretty broad question. I don't think you should limit to anyone who you're dating. I think you should have like a good practice for dating is just being as open as possible, not gearing it towards young men or older men or black guys or white guys. Well, I mean, I take that back. I prefer black guys quite frankly. But I think it's just good to practice dating as in general and avoiding the patterns that you've created. Like when you notice a pattern in your behavior, then just stop doing that. Like if you're gonna avoid anyone, it's anyone who needs fixing. And green flags. If you're dealing with people that need to be fixed, a green flag is somebody who has their shit together, somebody who has a job who is, you know, showing initiative and being assertive about you and spending time with you and going out with you, not you being a mom. Like that's not sexy for anyone. In a romantic dynamic. Nobody wants to feel like a mother. I don't wanna be telling you what to do. Or so I think all you have to do for me is avoid that feeling. As soon as you feel like you're parenting or you're mommying, then you wanna just exit out of that and that's your red flag. And then you're gonna notice what the green flags are. As soon as you say no to the red flags, you're gonna notice the things that you're welcoming. But as soon as you feel that feeling, and I know exactly what you're talking about, I don't like it either. I'm not attracted when I have to be like a mommy I don't want to be your mommy. Tish, what do you think?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I'm definitely guilty of that. Of being okay with that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Being a mother, too.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Being a mother in a relationship, yes. And that is one thing. Another thing that I've definitely learned is that I do not need to be that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

And how, like, freeing that is.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly. It's also freeing. What's freeing is also to be taken care of by someone. When someone cares for you and is looking after you and doing nice things that you didn't ask them to do. And then that whole dynamic shifts and you realize what's on the other side of it, which is much sexier than being with someone who you have to direct.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yep.

[Katherine]

What do you think about the dating an older man part of it?

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, yeah, you could date an older man, but, like, those guys can be messes, too.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

Just because they're older doesn't mean they have more of their shit together. It may seem like they have their shit together because they have more experience, but they can have their own set of problems. So I don't think you need to focus on an age. I think you need to focus on the way you feel when you're out with a man.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

When you're in a relationship with a man, you're feeling like, even from what Tish, you've talked about just today, the feeling that you had from your previous relationship moving into this is like you've been reborn, basically.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah. And it was nice because I took care of everybody for so long. Like, truly just took care of everything and everyone. And to now feel like someone's taking care of me and every aspect of my life is incredible.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love it.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

So Katie is 37. She says, Dear Chelsea, I'm in my late 30s, married, and have three young kids, ages 1, 3 and 5. My mom, who's in her 70s, also has her own space in our basement. We moved to a new state three years ago when I was pregnant with my second. I work full time and my husband works in television, so his schedule is very unpredictable. Often nights and weekends when he's home. We divide and conquer. Well, but I'm also frequently solo parenting. My mom has mobility issues and some brain fog, so I also find myself caring for her in many ways. Between solo parenting, full time work, and caregiving, I've reached the part where every professional says, you need self care. And I want to ask when and how exactly. I've tried making mom friends, but it mostly feels like monitoring kids near each other rather than forming Any real connection. I'd love any advice you have for this stage of life, especially how to take care of yourself when there's truly no margin. Thanks for making me laugh when I'm exhausted.

[Caller (Katie)]

Katie.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Katie, this is our special guest. Tish Cyrus is here.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Hi, Katie.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi.

[Caller (Katie)]

Nice to meet you.

[Chelsea Handler]

She knows a lot about what you're talking about. Do you want to go first, Tish, about self care?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally. Which I never did. And I actually would say make that a priority now because I actually did not. And it is exhausting. I also, like, I was raising five kids in a crazy, crazy world, you know, my husband at the time was also working and I was doing most of it alone. My mom also lived with us, and so I, you know, she helped me, but I also cared for her as well. And really there was like in mama, there was really no Tom for me. And. And I wish so bad that I had made time. Especially. I love what you just said about, like, you even feel like with the friends that you make, it's more just like kids, play dates and, you know, things like that. Because now it's. It's crazy because I really, I'm feeling lame at this moment in my life because I literally will meet someone out and I'm like, I really need friends. Like, can, can we like, do something? Like, I'm literally trying to make friends now at 58. And I wish so bad that at the time that you're in, in your life that I would have taken time to do self care and to build a friend group that was there to support me, not just support like the play dates. So I think for you, I, I know how hard that is because when you have that many kids and you're caring for your parent and you're doing most of it alone, it's hard to find the time. But I do think it's so important, even if it's just getting some time when your husband is around and able to help, like to read a book or take a bath or, you know, go be with a friend for an hour.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And get out of the house, away from the kids for an hour. Do you have that ability to leave the house for like an hour a day? Is that a possibility for you?

[Caller (Katie)]

It is on the days that my husband is home.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Caller (Katie)]

So, like, if, if we can make our schedules kind of line up, then yeah, I can do that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that could be one of the first points that you make. Whenever he is home, you have an hour, and what you decide to do with that is up to you. I mean, not just an hour. It can be as long as you trust him with the children while you're not there is, I guess the better way to say it. But hit up one of these women to go for a walk without the kids and see if you have anything going on between you two. Then I know it's easier to do stuff with the kids when they're that age and you kind of have to. But also find out if you have anything in common with these women outside of the children. And if you do great, and if you don't, great, then you know that. Then you know they're just like your kid's parent friends and you can do stuff together. Then you can even take the one year old or the three year old or I guess the one year old on a walk with you. But like, just to separate yourself from like all of your duties as a mother, I think geographically is important, like to get out of the house, to go out to dinner, you know, with a group of women or one or two women, at the very minimum, just to be away from all of the. The stuff that you're dealing with because you need to recharge your batteries. So self care doesn't have to be like you're meditating every day. You know, that can be great for certain people, but it doesn't have to be like a prescription. It can be whatever makes you feel good in the moment. And I know exercising and moving your body and getting out of the house when you're a mother are two really important ingredients.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes.

[Caller (Katie)]

Yeah, yeah. I think that those are the things I miss the most, honestly, is, you know, being able to move around and not have, you know, a child trying to jump on top of me at the same time.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

And also something to remember is so like, make that agreement. And even if you're going for a walk alone, that's fucking great. Like, better to be like, I would prefer to go for a walk alone. I'm not into walking with people. I don't understand what that even means. I found out about that during COVID Cause everyone wanted to go for a fucking walk. I'm like, I don't want to go for a walk with someone. Like, I want to listen to a podcast or a. Or listen to music and do my own thing. But I like people for other things. Not that. But even if it's just you saying that to your husband on the days that you can, when he is home, just start the practice of asking for time and a little space, that's Reasonable. And also remember, this is temporary. You're not gonna have a 1, 3 and 5 year old for the rest of your life. So the better you have, like, the better ability you have to recharge your batteries to be present for all of it and all of the chaos, the better you're gonna feel. The better you're gonna show up as a mom when you are tired, the better you're gonna show up as a partner. And the better memories you're gonna have in six months and three years. And six years.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

And it goes fast. Cause I remember just praying, oh, my gosh, when are they gonna be 18? Like, when is this gonna be over? After number five. And now I look back and think, oh, my God, it went so fast. Like, it really does. Even though I can feel your vibe in this moment, it doesn't feel that way. But she's right. Like, it won't be this chaotic forever.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what you should do is pick up a book. I just read this book. It's a great book. It's called the Correspondent. Pick that up and make that your first gift to yourself. Get that book. Start reading it. It's a real easy read. It's really good. You're gonna like it. Every woman will like this book. And just give that as a gift to yourself. And when your husband's around, just say, I need an hour alone. I'm gonna go to the park and read the book. Or you're gonna go to your room, wherever you wanna go. I would say get out of the house and just go find somewhere to read a book for an hour. And that gift alone that you give yourself will start leading to new ways and new ideas for you to kind of pour more water in your cup.

[Caller (Katie)]

Okay, yeah, that's a great idea. I feel like sometimes you get kind of guilty being like, oh, I shouldn't want to, you know, spend time away from my kids when I don't have as much time with them because they're in daycare, if I'm working and stuff like that. But I do think that it'll help me bond with them better when we are together if I do have a little more time for myself.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And there's also something about, like, filling up your brain with different information than the information you're circulating and recirculating all day with your kids. Because it's a lot of the same shit all the time. So it's like, you can go have a break, read a book, fill your brain up with someone else's story, and Someone else's life that's thought provoking, that gets you out of your head, and that's like building your kind of, you know, brain power, chemistry, your neurotransmitters, like, it's all good for you. So make that your first thing. And then if you love that, then get another book and make sure you're asking for the time that you need, because no one's gonna give you anything that you don't ask for.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, so you really have to advocate for yourself. Act like you're in a mental hospital and you're your advocate.

[Caller (Katie)]

It feels like that sometimes. So I think I can do that.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yes. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I mean, your husband, is he a reasonable guy? Like, will he get this and understand it?

[Caller (Katie)]

Yeah, I think so. He tries to help out when he's around, it's just, you know, the kids are usually like, mommy, Mommy, mommy. I think maybe getting away, like, if I'm not physically there, it might be easier for him too, because they're not always trying to go for me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, exactly. And that will help their bond too, because then they'll spend more time with their father and then they'll start to lean on him in a more equal way. So it's like, gonna work for everyone. It's just like, aa. It works if you work it.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Caller (Katie)]

All right, thanks. Yeah, I think that's good advice.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Yay. All right, well, hit us back. Let us know how you like the book, and then we'll give you books to read if you need more books to read.

[Katherine]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I would love that.

[Caller (Katie)]

Oh, yeah, that's a great. That would be awesome.

[Katherine]

Okay. All right. Thanks so much, Katie.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Bye, Katie.

[Caller (Katie)]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Bye. Bye. Whenever I hear. You know, I was watching someone at the airport and they had four kids traveling.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

That sounds.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I'm just like, oh, my God. Fucking four strollers and four.

[Katherine]

That's too much.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

That is way too much.

[Chelsea Handler]

But also it's just like, tell me if I'm wrong about this. I feel like once you have two, you may as well have five. Or is it once you have three, you may as well have five?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I think once you have three.

[Chelsea Handler]

Three, yeah. Cause three, two to three is a big difference.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

My mom always says, like, after three, it's like basically more of the same.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

We were four. Yeah, totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And then they can help occupy each other and start playing with each other. But getting out of a one year old, like, that's the youngest, that is very hard.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

It is so hard to keep them independent. She's definitely got her hands full.

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Katherine]

so Elizabeth says Dear Chelsea, I'm writing to you today for advice on how to shrug off a man who isn't worth it when he's stuck in your life indefinitely. I was married for over 10 years until I found out he'd been having a series of affairs and cheating for half that time. Ultimately, he wouldn't change his behavior, so I left. Here's where it gets complicated. We have a small child together. We have shared custody and our co parenting, and we're both determined not to up our kid with our issues, so we don't let that drama get in the way. We actually co parent quite well. We communicate. We can trade days or cover each other when we need to. We can each attend school, extracurricular events and be around each other for the sake of our kid. What I need advice on is how to get my heart out of the way. We've been divorced for a year now. I threw myself into healing and moving on. I've done all the things therapy, new hobbies, travel. I've dated, had casual hookups. And I put myself out there. But damn if my heart isn't still broken. Every time I have to talk to my ex and see him, he still has the parts of him I fell in love with all those years ago. I just get this sense of loss and longing for what I thought I had. What do I do? I can't just stop seeing him or speaking to him like any other breakup where you can get a clean break, he'll be around for my son's entire life Any advice on how to take the emotional sting out of this and stop nurturing a broken heart for this guy who doesn't deserve it? My brain says, screw that guy, but my heart doesn't know what to do with a love I had for him for a decade. Elizabeth.

[Caller (Katie)]

Aw.

[Katherine]

I know. I know.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

This is a tough one.

[Katherine]

It is.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, what do you think? I mean, you have experience with this.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I think it's so. I think there was one thing that she said in there that someone kept saying to me, and it was, if you can, like, because she said, it's like what I picture that we could have had, like, what it could be, what it. That is. The thing is, like, for me, it was really being. Having to, like, really make my brain focus on how things had gotten, how things were instead of how they should be or could be. And I don't know that it actually. Because when you have kids with someone, I mean, it makes it so much harder. And especially my kids are all older, so there was none of the going back and forth or having to communicate, which I'm sure is so hard. I mean, I don't know how you take the emotion out of it or how you change how you feel, but I think you can look at things in that way of, like, you know, how it could have been if only this. But, you know, those kind of fantasy, you know, and the fantasy when. What is your reality and what reality? That was the hardest part for me.

[Chelsea Handler]

And also, you have to move into acceptance totally. You have to accept that the relationship is over. And there's a new book that everyone's talking about, Strangers, which is that woman wrote about this very thing. Her husband cheating on her, the dissolution of their marriage, all of it. And how she had to basically reconcile because people automatically assume that when a partner cheats, you fall out of love with them. She said that, and she's like, I didn't. I still loved him. And I had to deal with a. You have to accept the situation at face value. There is no more relationship. It's over. So what you thought was gonna be there is not there. But what's ahead could be even more beautiful than what you had. So it's really important. I mean, we're sitting here with, like, a perfect living example with Tish about how wonderful her life has become in the second chapter that she didn't want or expect or was planning for, you

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

know, not at all.

[Chelsea Handler]

And look how happy she is and vibrant, like, you have to be. You have to accept the situation for what it is. Because before that happens, until that happens, you're not gonna be shown what is else is possible in your life.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Right.

[Katherine]

And I think, like, in Elizabeth's situation, like, the idea of happily ever after with this person wasn't even the reality when she was with this person.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

That's the key. Right.

[Katherine]

It was like there was all this drama and all this. So, like, the idea of what it would have been would have been more of that in reality.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly. And getting stuck in this kind of romantic idealization and kind of fantasy is just, I think, a sign of you really needing to get grounded and getting grounded in the reality of your situation and moving forward. Because really, anything is possible in your life. Anything is. As soon as you cut these heartstrings, you know, and just start to look at him for what he is, which is your children's father, and that's it.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yep. Yeah.

[Katherine]

And I think once she does meet someone that she actually does care about, it's gonna start to undo a lot

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

of that, you know, I think it undoes that. And also, I think her child is maybe younger, too. And then the relationship you can have with his father or your ex will be so much better and clearer in what that actually is. And everybody. It's so hard to believe when you're in it that things can get better, that there is someone else for you out there. But, yeah, I think when you kind of just, like you said, get grounded in reality of what is, is when you actually can move forward and bring great things into your life.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

You know?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. So good luck to you. Keep us posted. Also, we always like to hear feedback. And. Tish, are you gonna. Are you writing a book? Have you started writing a book?

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I was saying I need to do. Mine will need to be a trilogy, because there is so much. Like, so much. But I do need to do that as well.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but you need to enjoy yourself.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, I am all for you. Just having a great old time.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Me, too.

[Chelsea Handler]

And just. Just fucking kicking back and doing whatever the fuck you feel like.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

I know. I gotta figure out what that is. I'm on it. I'm on it.

[Chelsea Handler]

We'll start just by having sex with Domino. Not that you haven't started that, but just continue, because I think that's. Yeah, that part's easy. Thank you, Tish, for being with us.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Thanks for having me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Loved having you. Yes.

[Katherine]

And check out. Sorry, we're Cyrus, right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, check out. Sorry, we're Cyrus. That is a podcast with Tish and Brandy, her daughter Brandy, that I have been on as well and had a great time talking to you girls.

[Tish Cyrus Purcell]

Yeah, it's so fun and like I said, it's my favorite thing. So help me.

[Katherine]

If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to dearchelsea podcastmail.com Dear Chelsea is a production of I Heart Media. Follow Chelsea on all socials elseehandler and find Katherine on TikTok Flash Cadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert Executive Producer Kathryn Lawrence. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live@chelsea handler.com.

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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