Just Boof It with Monét X Change

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dear Chelsea – "Just Boof It with Monét X Change"

Podcast: Dear Chelsea
Host: Chelsea Handler, with co-host Catherine Law
Guest: Monét X Change
Release Date: January 15, 2026
Theme: Advice, humor, relationships, drugs, queer culture, and personal growth

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of "Dear Chelsea," comedian Chelsea Handler is joined by drag superstar Monét X Change for an uproarious, boundary-pushing conversation. The pair, along with co-host Catherine Law, blend personal stories, queer lifestyle insights, wild party tales, and honest advice to listeners in need. Together, they tackle everything from foot surgery and recreational drug use to open relationships, boundaries with money, family estrangement, and the ups and downs of professional ambition. Their energy is infectious, unfiltered, and peppered with memorable one-liners.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Updates and Tour News

• Chelsea is taking downtime in Whistler and prepping for the "High and Mighty Tour" (starts February, cities include DC and Norfolk, VA)
• Dear Chelsea will stream full episodes on Netflix starting Jan 26
• [03:06]—"Full episodes of Dear Chelsea will start airing on Netflix January 26th."

2. Drag, Surgery, and Candid Health Confessions

• Chelsea and Monét share their mutual experiences with bunion and foot surgeries
• Monét recounts being awake (but not in pain) during tendon surgery for hammered toes—graphic, but hilarious:
  • Monét: "If you've ever heard a fucking tendon being cut, but it sounds like it..." [06:29]
• The two joke about the indignities of medical procedures, hot Cuban doctors, and being numb in the feet
• They riff on drag queen resilience and supporting each other:
  • Chelsea: "You've always got positive vibes. I'm sure your show is amazing." [11:11]

3. Drugs: Shrooms, Acid, Ketamine, and … Boofing?

• In true Chelsea fashion, the episode dives into candid stories about party drugs:
  • Bad trip tales (accidentally taking acid gummies instead of shrooms)
  • Chelsea raves about acid microdosing as productivity and mood enhancer
  • The "mushroom yawns" phenomenon
  • Clubbing with ketamine—Monét describes mild dissociation and its fit for dance, clarifying that a "K hole" is too much
  • Delivery systems for drugs: snorting vs. "boofing" (rectal administration), leading to comic tangents:
    • Monét: "Have you ever boofed?" [22:00]
    • Chelsea: "What's a boof? That sounds like a fart..." [21:14]
    • The running gag is born: "Just boof it!"
• Both admit to outgrowing some drugs/their preferred methods—no glorification, just transparency

4. Gay Cruise Culture & Open Relationships

• Monét describes the nonstop party culture of gay cruises—drugs, dancing, freedom
• Open relationships: "We didn't start there. We got there." [09:49]
• Stories include partying with Audra McDonald and the social code of LGBTQ+ spaces

5. Professionalism, Touring, & Independence

• Monét reflects on the demands of being a touring comic as an independent, in contrast to her more "codependent" partner:
  • Monét: "A big part of our relationship [was] balancing my independence with his codependence." [22:05]
• Both agree that alone time on tour is essential
• Discussion on unpredictable crowds—Sacramento's surprising hospitality and generosity:
  • Monét: "Gays, girls and theys...we tip like we appreciate service workers." [27:29]

6. Advice Section (Listener Questions)

A. Boundaries and Money (Hillary’s Question) [34:46-40:39]

• Listener inherited money; friends/family/neighbors started asking for handouts
• All agree: protect your assets, set strong boundaries, don't feel guilty for saying no
  • Chelsea: "You know how you can tell if people are using you for money? If they're asking you for it." [35:42]
• Suggestions include donating to charity instead of individuals, being firm, or even pretending the money is in a trust
  • Monét: "The store is closed. No more..." [35:50]

B. Drag Queen Career Pigeonholing (Marty Cummings’ Question) [40:52-47:59]

• Marty wants to be seen as a versatile performer, not just "a drag queen"
• Advice: Focus auditions/agent requests on Marty out of drag; even consider a separate acting name for non-drag roles
  • Monét: "Casting agents are so stupid, they can only see the thing you're giving them." [46:11]
  • Chelsea introduces the now-legendary boofing suggestion for getting ahead in showbiz ("just kidding—sort of")

C. Estranged Father and Family Money (Megan’s Question) [51:27-56:19]

• Listener’s father is absent, wins lawsuit, writes to apologize and reconnect
• Both Chelsea and Monét stress: don’t accept emotional reconciliation unless financial betrayals to family are rectified first
  • Monét: "A big part of that is the atonement, the reparations for the wrongs you have done." [54:25]

D. Over-Obsessed Boyfriend (Brayden’s Question) [56:56-60:16]

• Listener's boyfriend won't stop talking about work—listener wants more balance
• Chelsea advocates directness—read the letter to him, set conversational boundaries
• Katherine suggests testing for ADHD, OCD
  • Chelsea jokingly recommends “boofing his Adderall”
  • Chelsea: "I want your dud listening to us...try putting something in your body. Just kidding!" [59:31]

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Memorable Quotes & Comedy Highlights

• Chelsea, on joining the Netflix lineup:

  • "Full episodes of Dear Chelsea will start airing on Netflix January 26th." [03:06]

• Monét, on surgery:

  • "No, I don't feel anything down there. I'm like, fucking Mr. Deeds. I don't feel anything on those toes. You can stab me." [05:37]

• On boofing:

  • Monét: "You put it in your butthole...It's like instant." [21:18]
  • Chelsea: "What's a boof? That sounds like a fart..." [21:14]
  • Recurring bit: “Just boof it!” – Title inspiration and punchline for anything from drugs to solutions for Ohio.

• On open relationships:

  • Monét: "We didn't start there. We got there because I don't think anyone starts there. But you get there." [09:49]

• On boundaries and money:

  • Chelsea: "You know how you can tell if people are using you for money? If they're asking you for it." [35:42]
  • Monét: "The store is closed. No more..." [35:50]

• On parental obligation and repair:

  • Monét: "He has to atone to make you want to feel like this relationship is repairable." [54:25]

• On overworking boyfriend:

  • Chelsea: "Nobody wants to hear about somebody's job all day long." [58:24]
  • Monét: "There's nothing I want to hear about all day long except for boofing. Nothing else." [58:40]

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Notable Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment / Highlight | |-----------|------------------------------------------------| | 03:06 | Netflix announcement | | 05:37 | Monét’s foot surgery and loss of feeling | | 13:59 | Accidental acid trip story | | 16:10 | Mushroom yawns | | 17:42 | Ketamine mishap "biggest bump" | | 21:18 | Boofing: what it is and stories | | 27:35 | Gay audiences as best tippers | | 34:46 | First advice question: boundaries with money | | 40:52 | Marty Cummings: drag queen advice | | 51:27 | Megan’s question: estranged father, inheritance| | 58:11 | Brayden’s question: boyfriend obsessed with work| | 59:31 | "Boof him his Adderall" (hilarious closing advice)| | 61:12 | "Perseverate" is word of the week |

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Episode Tone & Style

• Raunchy, irreverent, honest, and vibrantly queer
• Playful banter, but heartfelt, especially when dealing with more serious advice
• Embraces taboo subjects (sex, drugs, estrangement) with humor and compassion

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Takeaways for the Audience

• Boundaries are a necessity—financial, emotional, conversational
• Communication is key in relationships, whether it's about open relationships, career goals, or family breaches
• Embrace your identity and talents, but don’t be afraid to push for new opportunities and broader recognition
• Don’t be afraid to seek fun… but maybe double-check which gummy you’re taking, and know all delivery methods (including...boofing)

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Final Reminder:
Chelsea’s "High and Mighty Tour" kicks off February—get tickets at chelseahandler.com; Monét X Change’s tour info at monetxchange.com.

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Word of the week:
Perseverate — to fixate intently on a thought (used as a joke about Chelsea’s newfound obsession with boofing).

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This episode is unmissable for fans who love their advice with a side of brutal honesty and riotous humor.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Hi. Hi, Katherine.

[B]

Hi, Chelsea. How's it going?

[A]

It's going very well. I'm in Whistler. I have three weeks off. I am just really feeling myself. I'm reading a great book. It's called Copability by. By someone.

[C]

Hulsinger.

[A]

Richard Hulsinger. Probably got the name wrong. Anyway, it's all about. It's good. It's good. Good. I recommend it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

What's it about? Is it like NonFiction?

[A]

It's about AI it's about a family who gets in this accident with another family and it's an AI driven car, so really who's at fault? And it's like all about how AI is going to be impacting our world. But it's fiction and it's a family story and it's like, you know, dramatic. So it's good.

[B]

Ooh. Ooh. Very interesting.

[A]

It's got all the ingredients. I've been taking a lot of baths lately because I've been sick for about three weeks with this. My annual smoking pot cold that I get when I come to Whistler. I always forget that my Lungs can't take smoking pot. And then I smoke so much pot that I have bronchitis for three weeks. And so I'm sick every year when I go do host the Critics Choice Awards. And then I come back and really fall apart at the seams like cold weather.

[B]

And the pot, it's just like wreaking havoc.

[A]

But the cold weather, the pot, all my bad habits coming together, just giving me a grand old time. Doug has started smoking pot too, by the way.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But there's a lot of things happening. I'm about to go on tour starting in February. My first cities are D.C. and Norfolk, Virginia. So please go to chelseahandler.com to find your tickets for any of the shows. I'm gonna be coming to a city near you, and this show is gonna be on Netflix.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So iHeart is teaming up with Netflix, and full episodes of Dear Chelsea will start airing on Netflix January 26th. And older episodes will still be on YouTube. Exactly.

[B]

And we're still gonna put clips and stuff on YouTube, but for full EPPs after January 26th, check us out on Netflix. It's so exciting.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So that's exciting. And I'm excited to go on tour. I have so many funny stories about all the drugs that I've been giving away, and I just feel like I'm a healer. You know what I mean?

[B]

You're like a modern day shaman.

[A]

And our guest today is one of my favorites. He's been. He's a. He's. He's a friend of the pod, as they say. It's just a very gay saying, you know, our. He's from RuPaul's Drag Race and her podcast Sibling Rivalry and Monet Talks. She is currently on her High Heels and Bad Knees comedy tour. And then you can catch her on this season of the Traitors. So please welcome Monet x Change.

[D]

Hi, Chelsea.

[A]

Hi, girlfriend. Hi. How you doing? How are you doing? I heard you had surgery recently. I had surgery too.

[D]

Oh, your feet? Yeah, we both had feet surgery.

[A]

Yeah, we did. How was yours, girl? Did you do one foot or two feet? We're talking about bunions, everybody. Welcome to Dear Chelsea.

[B]

This is.

[A]

This is where we get down to business. I only had them on one foot, but I had them, which means I had one on the outside, which is called a bunionette. That's a cute term. A way to put it.

[D]

Oh, that's very cute.

[A]

Cause it's not a full blown bunion, and it comes out of, like your pinky toe. That was my kind of, like, force majeure. Like, I was like, oh, no, no, no. I didn't mind the inside one. It wasn't painful.

[D]

I.

[A]

Or anything like that. But the outside one, I was starting to. It was starting to impede on my sexual life.

[D]

I felt like that was the big one, because the one on the inside, the one, like, inside it was unsightly.

[A]

The one on yours? Are you talking about yours?

[D]

Yes. On my inside? Yes.

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah. Cause a real bad bunion is really hard to look at. Let's be honest.

[D]

It's kind of like a bad bunny. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. You don't want to look at a bad bunny either.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

A bunny rabbit or a bad bunny? Bad bunny.

[D]

Well, you know, I said, but not only bunions, girl. I had all. I had my bunion and toes, 2, 3, and 4. I had a slight hammer toe. So what he did was hammer Todd. He went and he cut the tendons on the top and bottoms of my second, third, and fourth toes. So now I can't bend my second, third, and fourth toes. They kind of just live this way.

[A]

They just are dead. They're dead.

[D]

They're dead.

[A]

Do you feel them?

[D]

No, I don't feel anything down there. I'm like, fucking Mr. Deeds. I don't feel anything on those toes. You can stab me. My foot.

[A]

I also don't feel my foot. Like, I rammed it into my pinky toe into a table yesterday or the day before. And the friction was alarming because I was like, ah. It was a thud. But I also didn't feel a thing. I was like. Feels like I was like, oh, wow. I'm like, who knows if that. Toes broken now, by the way. Like, it's all just. I'm like, I wonder if I will ever feel my foot again.

[B]

But were you awake for your surgery? You were asleep, right? You want to be?

[A]

Yeah. Were you awake?

[D]

Oh, no, girl, I was awake for mine. I was awake.

[A]

What kind of budget are you fucking on that? You didn't get anesthesia, Monet? What are you talking about? Awake?

[D]

No, he doesn't. Because you have to be awake because he needs you to tense the toes so he can see the. So he can see where the tendons are. So you have to stay awake so you can, like, flex them.

[A]

Did you feel anything?

[D]

I didn't feel them at all, but I could hear everything.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And I don't know about you, if you. If you've ever heard a fucking tendon being cut, but it sounds like it.

[A]

Was for any listeners who are still listening. I want to apologize for this. Starting a podcast like this. I mean, how unfortunate for them to have to hear this.

[D]

Yeah, it's fucking awful.

[A]

I can't believe you had to stay awake during surgery. That doesn't sound right. That does not sound right.

[D]

But he was hot, though. He was this hot Cuban doctor. So, like, I was trying to be cute for him too. So even in the most painful. In audibly painful some moments.

[A]

But first of all, you're not being cute to him. I mean, you're opening up with a fucking bunion and three hammer toes. So, I mean, it's not like he's gonna be like, you know what I think is sexy? Although doctors are good like that if that's their specialty.

[D]

They're not turned off by their.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[D]

Doctors get turned on by you in pain and you at your lowest point. My fucking old dentist, I feel like he would. I feel like he would come when he would be knuckle deep in my fucking teeth just pulling something out of there. I'm like, you're. You're hard. You like this shit.

[A]

Well, that's a private fantasy of your own. That's not. First of all, you said you were gonna send me mushrooms. Let's get on to more fun topics. You said you were gonna say you called me specifically, like, I wanna send you mushrooms. And then I gave you my hotel in New York, right? Yeah, and then you dropped them there, but I had gone, so who knows who the fuck has those mushrooms? So you still owe me mushrooms.

[D]

I got you, girl. Let me tell you, I am a mushroom factor. I am a drug factory.

[A]

I'm coming to New York. Can you send them to my hotel again? Cause I'll be there Saturday.

[D]

Chelsea, I. You. I think we've had this conversation 49 times. I live in LA, girl.

[B]

Oh, wait, I thought you lived back in the day.

[A]

We do have this conversation 45 minutes.

[D]

No, I live in LA. I was LA four years ago. I live in LA.

[A]

So then why the fuck are you on a zoom, asshole?

[D]

Because I'm in fucking Rochester, New York. Literally the worst place in the world.

[A]

Now I'm going there, next day, I'm doing stand up.

[D]

This weekend I'm here at the cross country. The comedy club is lovely. Carson Comedy Club is great. The city of Rochester needs to be under fire. Someone needs to strike a match and light the whole city on fire.

[A]

By the way, Monet X Change is on her comedy tour. She's on a standup tour. So you can get tickets for that standup tour on your website, right? Monet Xchange.com Monet Exchange. X for exchange. There's no X E for exchange. It's Monet X change dot com. So that's where you get your tickets, everybody. And she'll be in Rochester tonight. And by the time this airs, that will be a long. That'll be an old story.

[D]

Speaking of not feeling shit. So I was at. I was. I just did a. Just got off of a gay Cruise with Audra McDonald. Audra McDonald and I. Yes, Audra McDonald.

[A]

I feel like you live on gay cruises. Isn't this like your. This is not your first gay cruise, is it?

[D]

This is my fourth one.

[A]

Right, that's what I said.

[D]

They love me. All those fucking cruises.

[A]

But do you love cruises? But Monet, do you love cruises?

[D]

See, I only like the gay ones because they're filled. It is literally a 24 hour party. It is nonstop partying, drugs, drinking. It is the greatest time of my. My life. I'm just. With all these hot delicious men and my boyfriend and we're just seven seas.

[A]

Do you guys hook up with other people? All gay men that I know have an open relationship.

[D]

Well, we didn't start there.

[A]

We got there because I don't think anyone starts there. But you get there.

[D]

And yeah, so we do that. So they're great. It was. And girl, we were party with Audrey McDonald. We're like at a white part. Audrey McDonald, like passing all the woo. Hey, girl, it's great. It's a good time.

[A]

And what was she doing performing on the ship?

[D]

Yeah, she did. She just got off a gypsy and she did three shows of one night of just her own concert. It was fucking divine. She's incredible. Yeah, she is incredible. I love that woman.

[A]

She is incredible. I liked her. I liked her reaction to whoever. That lunatic or who. Somebody on Broadway.

[D]

Patti LuPone.

[A]

When Patti LuPone kind of went. Went off on her and for no reason whatsoever.

[D]

For no good reason.

[A]

What did she say? She was like, oh, she. Something like they had. She basically intimated they had some big beef and Audrey McDonald's. Audrey's like no idea what she's talking about, but I'm sorry. She's so upset with me.

[D]

Patti LuPone. It was ridiculous.

[A]

But I think Patti LuPone might be a little bit off center.

[B]

She's always got beefs with people.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. She seems argumentative.

[D]

Chelsea, I need to see you more. I feel like. I feel like you. We don't ever see each other. It really breaks my heart when I see you on like hangout with all these fucking loser drag queens like you did. You did delta work. Delta work. I.

[A]

First of all, that's not a hangout. I did her podcast, so that means I went to go do a podcast cuz I was doing press. You talk about hanging out in personal life, in real life, I would be more than happy to hang out with you anytime. Especially now, for the 40th time, I know that you live in Los Angeles.

[D]

Every time you're like, girl, I'm coming to New York for your birthday.

[A]

Why do I think that you live?

[D]

I don't know. I flew to New York to come to your birthday party because I was like, I have to go to Chelsea's birthday.

[A]

That's so sweet because I also had one in la.

[D]

Did you really?

[A]

Yes, yes. Oh my God, that is so stupid. I had a birthday party in LA to cover my LA and New York crowds. I mean, my friend. And that is hilarious. I'm going to reimburse you for that ticket.

[D]

Don't. Please don't. Your. Your. Your. Your love is.

[A]

No, but I want you to text me when you're in town. I do want to hang out with you. I love you. I love your energy. You've always got positive vibes. I'm sure your show is amazing. If you're listening to this and you need to be cheered up, go see Monet Exchange on tour. And by the way, she identifies as a woman, okay? So don't get it fucking twisted.

[D]

Chelsea, can you be honest? Have you. Have you ever gotten a boner seeing me in drag? You'd be like, wow, that's a hot woman.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. I don't get boners from drag. That's not my thing. I respect drag. I appreciate it. I totally, like, love that people can do that and express themselves in that way, but it's not a turn on for me.

[B]

Well, but maybe not a boner, but like a jaw drop Monet.

[D]

Because I'm like, wow, Monet's stunning.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, you are, you are. I. Yes. A jaw drop is a nice put it. Or a better way to put it, I should say. Okay, let's go back to this cruise. Because I find cruises and ships, as soon as you say the word ship is where you lose me. Like if it were just a cruise without the word ship, that would be different. But as soon as I think like ship, my mind goes to shipping containers. Large, large boats that like house 4000 people. As soon as it's massive, like En masse like that. I'm like, I'm going on a small cruise to Antarctica. This in the fall. I'm going to Antarctica.

[D]

Choosing to go to freeze your tits off in Antarctica.

[A]

I want to go, first of all, I want to go commune with the penguins. Secondly, it's a psychedelic, kind of is the theme.

[D]

So it's okay, well, I'm sold.

[B]

I'm sold.

[A]

It's a bunch of people. Well, you're not invited. So I mean, you're going to have to get your own invitation. It's a bunch of people who do psychedelics and work in maps, which is like all of these kind of researchers and like neurophysicists, neuroscientists who kind of like figure out all of the benefits of shrooming or, you know, like, not in your like, spare time, but more like medicated sits like medicine journeys, that, that kind of under that veil of medicine. But how medicinal plant medicine is and how medicinal lsd, all of those things. So I'm taking one of my friends who's really into that, and we're going. And I'm hoping, I'm assuming there's just gonna be a lot of fucking acid on board, you know, and that's gonna be a great way for me to see penguins.

[D]

I mean, you know what? I, I, so I'm a big acid girl. I've kind of sworn off acid recently because my, a friend gave me some edibles, some gummies. A set were mushroom gummies. A set where acid gummies. I was like, great. One night I was home, I was, I was gonna be home alone for like the next couple days. I was like, I wanna just do some shrooms and watch Spider man into. Into the Spider Verse, which is a great movie to watch shrooms on. And then so I take the, I take the two gummies and they're like half hour in. I was like, wait, why does it take us long to fucking kick in? These are. I've had these before. They're great. Come to find out, I didn't fucking take the mushroom gummies. I took the acid gummies. I took two doses, two tabs, basically. So I was literally, I was tripping my balls off in my house alone.

[A]

So they weren't a microdose.

[D]

They weren't, no, it was a mega dose.

[A]

I have the best acid. I have the best acid. It's a microdose and it's a sheet of acid. I'm gonna give you some as soon as I see you next time. And I have microdoses. Of lsd. And it is pure and it is great. And I. I've only had two people complain and I've given it to about almost a thousand.

[D]

Well, I mean, but Chelsea, I am. I'm big stock. It always takes me 10 times more to get me just as equally high as everyone else. I feel like a microdose won't fucking work on me.

[A]

Well, then you take a couple. Then you take a couple. You can take up to like. I mean, you could take as many as you want, but I. I'll take. I mean, I've taken more than one in a day. I sometimes take two, sometimes takes three. But you know what I love about lsd? Microdose of these specifically, is that it levels you up. Like, if you're hungover or you're exhausted, you wake up and you take one and it just brings you up to the level you need to be to function for your day. If you're at a party or in a party situation and you take one, then it puts you in more of a party mood. It's like you direct the drug. And that's what I love about that. And it's not overwhelming. You're not hallucinating. It's not like that. It's just kind of a. An upper. A big, good, healthy upper. It doesn't make you feel sweaty or. Sometimes when I do shrooms. I'm kind of off of shrooms lately. Although I got a big bag when I was in Vegas this weekend. Somebody gave me a huge. A friend of mine brought a huge bag of shrooms. I wonder where those are. But shrooms sometimes. Like, I like real mushrooms. But when you sometimes take a capsule.

[B]

The pill. Yeah.

[A]

I get a little bit nauseous when I'm coming up. And I don't like that.

[B]

It's not a fun high. It's not a giggly fun. I feel like that's it.

[D]

I agree with that, Katherine. I agree with that. But also, the real ones don't make me yawn. Do you get the mushroom yawns? I just start yawning every two fucking minutes.

[A]

You yawn when you're coming up on them. That's a thing? It's like you yawn when you're about to get high.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That's how you know it's working. But then it should stop once you're high. Are you continuing?

[D]

No, girl, I'm yawning the entire time. I better fall asleep on these.

[A]

You should take your mouth shut when you take them.

[D]

No. How do I fit the Dicks in if my mouth is closed.

[A]

That's right, that's right, I forgot. Sorry. Can't you use your butt for all the dicks? Just have someone hold it open.

[D]

Oh, my God. I opened up the cruise and I said this joke on stage. I'm like, you know about me. Listen, if you see me at a party, it was at the end of the set, I was like, if you see me at one of these parties, I forgot all my drugs at home. So if I come to you, if I come at you with my nose, whatever drug it is, just put it. Fucking put it up there. I'll sniff whatever it is, right? You should not say that to 3,000 gay men on the show.

[A]

Even I know that. And you're the gay one.

[D]

I was everywhere I turned, people just pushing things at me. And I was saying no, for the most part, unless I looked at someone, I'm like, you know what? You look trustworthy. Sure, I'll go with you. And this guy, he asked me, do you want a little bump or a bigger mic? I said, you know, I don't know. You just give me a medium sized bump. He gave me the biggest bump of ketamine I have ever taken in my life. And I thought it was a little bump. So like 10 minutes in, I'm like, oh, this is a big bump. So I literally, I run to the bathroom and I lock myself in a stall and sit there for 30 minutes to let it, like, weigh myself.

[A]

Break down ketamine for me. I did once take ketamine. I think I snorted it. It was years ago with two gay guys, of course. And I was like, oh, I want to see. Because everyone, that was when ketamine kind of hit the scene. And everyone, all gay guys were taking it and they're like, it's great. It's relaxing. Da, da da. And I'm like, relaxing for anal sex or relaxing. Like, I mean, what's the delineation here? And they're like, no, you're going to like it. And I honestly just did. I did a line of it and I was like, I don't really feel that much. So what?

[D]

Really?

[A]

What? Maybe I didn't do. Maybe it wasn't good ketamine. Or who knows, maybe I didn't do enough. But what. Tell me about ketamine. Like, what is so great about it?

[D]

So it's like dissociative. So if you're. I find, like, I don't like that.

[A]

That's what I don't like. Dissociation.

[D]

Oh, I Do like that, though, because, like, especially when. When you're at a club with, like, good music, it kind of lets you like. It kind of. It like, lets you detach from whatever the music is going on. And, like, you detach from what? From whatever the lyrics are. And you're just getting hit with the vibes of the music. So, like, the music feels better. Dancing feels a little better. I. I don't know. It. It. It. It lets you detach a little bit, which I enjoy. At a club with music.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

I wouldn't do. I would not. I would. I would not want to be in a K hole at a club. No, but like a little bump at a. At a party. Yes. I feel like.

[A]

And a K hole is when you do more than a little bump.

[D]

Yeah, that's. That's a big bump. And you are like you're fucking doctor Strange into the spider verse or something. So you are. You are detached, girl. You are.

[A]

Because what you described, like disassociating and letting the beat carry your vibe is something that I could use when I'm dancing because I don't have any rhythm. So a ketamine sounds like I should disassociate from my body, because my body's what's stopping me from vibing. It's the only thing in the world I'm self conscious about. Not the only thing in the world, but it's my one major thing that I'm self conscious about is my dancing. So I always have to take a drug if I'm gonna go dancing so I can just loosen up and not give a shit that I don't have great moves.

[D]

Academy will be great for you.

[A]

It will be really good for you. Okay, well, that's good to know for the next dance party I get forced to go to.

[D]

But I don't always love snorting things, so.

[A]

Have you ever snorted Adderall?

[D]

I've only ever snort Academy. I've never snorted anything else.

[A]

Okay. I once snorted Adderall, and that was really alarming.

[D]

It makes you hyper, right? You just get, like, really hyper.

[A]

Yeah. I had to go to a charity event. I had flown in to San Francisco from I don't know where, somewhere internationally. This was like 15 years ago. And I had a friend who was like. I was like, I'm dead. I have to go speak at this event about this charity I was representing, which actually, of course, will remain nameless. Otherwise people will connect the dots. I was like, I'm dead. I can't. I can't keep my eyes Open. And he's like, do you have any Adderall? And I said, yeah. He goes, snort it. Like, that's the best way to, like, fucking get. I got on stage and was talking for two hours. I couldn't shut the fuck up. I was so obnoxious. I was so annoying. And then when I got. And I had the worst headache the next day for, like, four hours, I woke up and I just felt like a whore on the loose. And I was like, I will never, ever shove that shit up my nose. I don't think I've ever done Adderall. Oh, that's not true. I've had an Adderall since then, but I haven't snorted it. I would never do that again. I don't know. I don't love shoving up my nose the way that I used to when I was in my 30s.

[D]

I don't like it at all. I hate. I. So, so. I hate. I've never done cocaine or anything like that because I just don't like how that feels. I do ketamine, but what I do is I do this thing where they have these, like, wax lozenges, and you take it, and each One is about 60 milligrams, and you put it just in your. In your thing, like an edible, and it just, like, dissolves over, like, five minutes. And then you get the same effects as if you snorted it.

[B]

Like, in your cheeks sort of thing.

[D]

Yeah. And your cheek. Yeah.

[B]

I like.

[A]

All the different systems of delivery drugs have now, you know, like, boofing.

[D]

Have you. Have you ever boofed?

[A]

What's a boo? No, what's a boof? That sounds like a fart. And then, like, something to do with.

[D]

Your very adjacent, very close to you. Put it in your butthole. Oh. Oh. Just put it in your butt and it's like instant.

[A]

Oh. Yeah. Yeah. I heard stories about, you know. I heard stories about, like, you know, rock stars in the 70s when they couldn't. When they would. Because people would do so much blow that their noses would collapse the bridge of their nose or the stuff that's inside the cartilage. They would, like, burn a hole through it. So then they started putting coke up their assholes to get high because that's. Then it goes directly into your bloodstream. But why not just do a gummy and wipe it around in your mouth? Doesn't that have the same effect? Or maybe not. It doesn't.

[D]

I think there are so many beautiful and delicious blood vessels in your asshole. I think that when you get the drugs Right there. It just really just. And takes it right in.

[A]

How are you enjoying being on tour? Are you with your lover? Are they there, or are you by yourself?

[D]

No, I'm by myself. It's just me and my assistant, Ty. He doesn't really come on the road with me. You know, that was a really big part of our relationship, like, growing to discover, like, how. Because I am super independent. I. Like, before my boyfriend. I had one boyfriend before him, but we were just together for, like, five minutes. It wasn't a real relationship. This is my first, like, real relationship.

[A]

How long have you guys been together?

[D]

Four years.

[A]

Okay, so that's serious.

[D]

Yeah. So. And then. So he is very codependent. I'm super independent. So very. Finding that balance of, like, bitch, yes. I want you to feel valued and me being around, but you have to value my time and my solidarity. So he comes to things here and there. Like, he came with me on the Cruise, which was 10 days, and so we just did that together. So now I'm gonna do this stuff by myself. And maybe a few dates in October and November, he'll come on.

[A]

I think also being on the road by yourself is just a better way. Like, people always say they get lonely on the road. I'm like, no, no, I don't get lonely on the road. I need that time alone where I don't have anything to do all day until the show. I like that. That is my time to fucking lie on my ass and watch tv. Or if I'm in a city that's worth seeing and going out, you know, like, when I went to Europe, I was out and about every day. I wasn't. I never turned the television on, you know, but, like, if you're in a city that's not happening, then, you know, you don't want to expose someone else to that.

[D]

Yeah, and I want to sit down. I want to. I want to fucking read my book. Order some. Order some.

[A]

Fucking go to the gym. I love going to the gym at a hotel. That's my favorite activity. I love. That's when I get my best workouts in, when my trainer is nowhere to be seen and I'm on my own. So how have the crowds been? Are there any cities that you've been to that you were really surprised about?

[D]

Ooh, I was really surprised about Sacramento. Cause, I mean, I've done drag shows in Sacramento, but, you know, me doing Santa, I've only been doing Santa for, what, since 2021. So for four years now.

[A]

So that's when I Started construction on my house 2021.

[D]

I've heard about this house, girl.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

When are you moving in, Chelsea?

[A]

Great question. I don't know. It's unreal.

[D]

You're Chelsea Handler.

[A]

I know. It's unreal. It is unreal. I can't believe this is my life. I make millions of dollars a year, yet I am staying in the guest room of a fucking friend's house for four years.

[D]

Which is a great friend. Let me tell you something.

[A]

I'm not the same friend. I have to bounce around, by the way. It's not the same friend. I have to keep fucking moving because otherwise I'm going to ruin all my friendships.

[D]

Yeah. I was like, I would tolerate someone staying with me for maybe a month until I'm like, okay, babes, we gotta figure it out.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[D]

Like a month is my.

[A]

Exactly. I'm moving out now. I just got another rental to move out so that I don't overstay my welcome with the friend that I'm staying with because she's been so hospitable, and I really just don't wanna, like, you know, it's. We're having a really nice time together, so I wanna leave while it's hot. You know what I mean?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't want her to be like, when the fuck is this woman gonna get out of my face? Because I don't just come with me. I come with my. My housekeeper and then my dog person, and then my dog. And then it's a whole factory of people that come over every morning to make sure I'm awake and going to my.

[D]

Bring everyone over to the house.

[A]

No, but they have to perform for me because they think that because I have no house, so they have to do something in order. They're like, well, you're paying me. I'm never gonna, like, suspend their payment because I don't have the house. You know what I mean? So I pay them. I've been paying everyone for four years to work at my house, but I don't have a house. So they just follow me wherever I go while I'm in the country, at least it's a hot mess anyway. You know what I mean? I need to call a podcast like this and get some fucking advice.

[D]

When I renovated my house, I mean, I. So I bought the house and I was like, you know what? I see all these people renovating houses. I'm efficient. I'm great. I can do it. Two months into renovating, I was like this. I'm way over in, way in, way in over my head. I can't do this. I found a friend of mine, he used to be the senior vice president of merchandising for Mac for like 25 years. He had just retired. He moved to LA. He's like, what you doing? I was like, I just bought this house. Renovating is ridiculous. I didn't know what fucking plugs outlets or venetian plastic. I don't know any of these fucking terms. And then he came on and he project managed the whole thing for me. And he is like a rude, nasty, angry gay that just gathered those fucking. Of those fucking contractors and he got it done for me in two and a half years.

[A]

Well, I hope you shove some ketamine straight up his asshole. It's a big thank you. I really hope you did because he deserved. He sounds like he deserves it. The more people bring I bring onto this project, the longer it takes.

[D]

Are you building the Taj Mahal?

[A]

You would think so.

[B]

I mean, no, it's cursed because it was RFK jr's house.

[A]

Yeah, it's cursed.

[D]

Oh, no. Oh, girl. That's what girl. Yeah, they put that. You're going to be talking like you're going to have a crazy voice to each other.

[A]

I might run into that fucking asshole RFK at some point. I have so much to say to him, not that he would sit there and listen to it because I don't think he can even comprehend information. He's so stupid. I mean, dense.

[B]

Shove a glass of raw milk in his hand.

[A]

He needs ketamine up his house.

[D]

We need to put some raw milk up his house.

[A]

I'm gonna start boofing, people. That's what I want to do. That'll be a good way for me to channel my anger, but.

[D]

Oh, sorry. So Sacramento, I love Sacramento. Sacramento's a really good time. I performed eight years ago in drag, but never doing standup. And they would just. And what I realized to every audience, every comedy club, theater, whatever I go to there was like, your audience tips really well. I'm like, yeah, the gays and girls and theys. We tip like we appreciate service workers. We appreciate when you make us good cocktails and we show that with our money. I'm like, these fucking straight people that come to your show, to your club, I can't speak with them. But the gays, girls and they's. We spend money on good, on good service.

[A]

Well, also, most of us are either like child free or you know, single. So I have the same audience. Women and gays. Right? And that's right. Because people, once they start having children, they're like, well, I have. I need this money for that. And they become more penurious with their money. And I feel like that's another reason not to have children. So you could be a better tipper.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Hell, yeah.

[D]

Chelsea. Oh, my God. I need you. I need advice really quick. So the boyfriend and I, four years in, he wants children. I don't want children. I don't not want children. But I think I do not want children, which means I shouldn't have them. You know what I mean? I'm too much on the fence to, like, want to have kids. Like, I feel people who want kids should be like, I want children more than I want my next breath.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I want to go to the pta. I want to drive the car with the kid. Like, I am not that.

[A]

No, no. And you never will be.

[D]

I will never be that way. Right.

[A]

You're never going to be like that. So I think that's very good. What you're saying is, like, you don't desire it. I feel like if you're going to be a child, you have to desire it so badly. Is it a deal breaker for your partner to have kids?

[D]

I mean, we. You know what we did, we didn't talk about deal breakers. Like, at the beginning, we were kind of like, yeah, we'll get there. And now we're four years in, and it's like, I really want children. I'm like, well, I don't know if I want children. You know?

[A]

Yeah, I would try and push that as long as you can to, you know. But conversely, on the other side of the coin, I do believe that if you do have a child that is in. Brought into your life because your partner feels so vehemently for it is so vehemently, like, passionate about having a baby, you are going to fucking love that baby. It's not like you're gonna find you're gonna have a kid and be like, I don't like it. That doesn't happen. You know?

[D]

Yes, it does.

[A]

Well, it doesn't happen when somebody. It doesn't happen to people like us. Like, I have children in my life and I fucking deal with it. I don't hate them. I'm not mad at them. I mean, yeah, I'm exhausted and I'd rather not have to deal with, like, stupid shit, but I'm always gonna be available to a child, and you're gonna be the same way. It's just like, the kind of people and culture like, part of culture that we are. Like, I don't want one. And I hear what you're saying, but you're not gonna ever. I don't know that you're gonna regret having a child, you know, if it's something that's so important. Like, you've got a lot of love to give. And so, you know, like, if I met a guy and he had some kids, I wouldn't not date him. I would, but. And I would be like, oh, this is a nice opportunity for me to kind of be a maternal figure or like a big sister kind of vibe. But it's not like I would be like, oh, I wanna, you know, if somebod I have to have children, it's like, well, obviously that ship has sailed.

[D]

And I think that's the best way to do it. Meeting someone that has a kid sounds fucking great. Because worst case scenario, I can press the eject button and be out. You know what I mean? But if I want to stay and be and mother this child, great. But it's not of my own loins. So I could like, you know.

[A]

Right. And most kids are really, you know, most kids are lovable, you know, like, it's hard to find a kid that doesn't deserve love.

[D]

I mean, you've never met my nephew.

[A]

Yeah, well, I have a couple of nephews too, so.

[D]

That's the thing about, like, I am down to have a. If we do have a kid, great. What if that motherfucker has the audacity to be straight?

[B]

Rude.

[D]

What if I had a straight young man in my house? Some motherfucker walk around my house, scratching his balls, fucking his armpits and shit stink. Like, now I have to raise a straight person. That sounds awful.

[B]

You're raising an ally then, in that situation.

[D]

True, true, Katherine. That's fair. That's fair, that's fair.

[C]

That's a good point.

[A]

You're raising an ally, and then he turns against his fathers when he grows up and he's like, I can't handle these two homos. He's like, it's enough already with my house. It's too gay. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we'll be right back with Monet X Change. Fleur de Mal is known as an It Girl brand for luxury lingerie dresses and bodysuits with a seductive chic and elevated aesthetic. Their fabrics include real silk, refined French lace, and modern stretch materials designed to feel soft, smooth and wearable. One of their most popular pieces is the flared corset knit dress worn publicly by Taylor Swift and recognized for its flattering waistline and versatility. From brunch to evening events. Their bodysuits come in cotton, lace and fashion forward materials. The full collection is available at fleur de mal.com for the first time ever, there has been a truly beautiful medical breakthrough. One shot makes you hot, but with terrifying consequences. In the new original series FX's the Beauty, the glamorous world of supermodels turns deadly as mysterious deaths draw in FBI agents and a shadowy billionaire who will stop at nothing to protect his empire from executive producer Ryan Murphy. FX's the Beauty premieres January 21st on FX, Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers. And we're back with Monet x Change. She's on tour so you can buy tickets to her [e-mail] Are you ready.

[B]

To give some advice today? Monet?

[D]

Yes, yes, yes.

[A]

She's always ready to give advice.

[B]

Excellent. Well, I do have a Monet question.

[A]

Perfect.

[B]

Start out with this one's just an email but but Hillary says this is Hillary Clinton. Yes, it absolutely is. Dear Chelsea, I have a question about how money changes relationships. I'm a 35 year old woman who works as a child therapist at a non profit so I don't make much money for what I do. I grew up as an only child to a single mother in a lower middle class family and I'm very used to living paycheck to paycheck. I lost my mother as a teenager and the only family I had left was my grandparents who became my best friends and the only emotional support system two years ago. However, they both passed pretty quickly, one after the other. It was a devastating blow and wrecked me pretty badly emotionally. Now I just have my wife and young daughter as my only remaining family. This is where things took an unexpected turn. Upon their deaths I received multiple requests from people I considered close friends asking for money. They needed help with mortgage, medical bills and other expenses. At first I was happy to help, all while trying to establish a boundary that these were simply loans. To sum it up, I gave out about $18,000. Before I realized what was happening. I stopped giving out money and needless to say, I haven't seen a sense of it back. It's not about that however, I feel embarrassed, taken advantage of. I'm shocked at how a few of them turned on me like that. Even more recently my HOA community just outright asked me to personally foot a $35,000 bill for something in our neighborhood because they knew I could with the inheritance from her grandparents. I don't know how they knew. I don't speak to most of my neighbors. I considered it for a long time before asking them to come up with another solution. How do I trust the intentions of people going forward? I've never had a lot of money before, and I certainly want to share it, but I'm realizing now that certain people will use me for it and not actually value me as a friend. Thanks so much, Hillary.

[A]

Wait, I'm sorry, I missed this part. Did the inheritance. Was the inheritance. How did everyone know about the inheritance?

[D]

Wasn't the public news? Like, how?

[B]

Seriously, I don't know how the neighbors knew. I don't think even think she knows how the neighbors knew. But her friends, the family.

[D]

Yeah, friends and family.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But still, like, that's not an invitation to ask for money. Can I just say, when I open up my DMs, how many fucking DMs I get asking me for money? How many DMs I get saying, I'm going through a really tough time. I just got fired from my job. We just need. I just need $30,000 to tide me over. It's unreal.

[D]

Venmo request. If I open my Venmo right now, it's literally like, hey, girl. Hey, girl. I need people find your Venmo and they request you all day long for money.

[A]

I just can't imagine asking a stranger for money at all. I would love to. Like, I mean, you know, I want money, too. My money's all out the window with this fucking house. I don't have any more money to give. First of all, you're gonna lose all your money. Don't ever advertise that you have money. Don't advertise that. Just hold onto your money and save it, because you're gonna need it for fucking something and use it for yourself. It's your inheritance. And definitely, you know how you can tell if people are using you for money? If they're asking you for it, they're.

[B]

Asking you for money.

[A]

Like, you don't give your money away. That's not.

[B]

There's.

[A]

They're not entitled to that money. Those are your grandparents, period.

[D]

Yeah, girl. Even if they're. Even if they're friends or family, even if they're family, that money is not yours. The inheritance went to you. However, your grandparent decided to divvy out that money and give it to whoever. That's who it belongs to. It does not belong to your mom or your cousin or sister. Keisha whoever it is, no one is entitled to that money except for you. And again, if you found it in your heart, you were so generous, you've already given $18,000 to your friends and family. That's it. You have to set a boundary, like, hey guys, the bank is closed. I am not willing to give any more of this money. And again, if there's someone that has a really soft space in your family, like a nephew that you really love, you really want to help them out with whatever, then that's a different story. But to have this open door policy where family can just come and hit you up for money is dead. It's done. No more. And why is your community asking you to pay for the fucking road work.

[A]

In the Philippines if that's. That's so ridiculous? And also, like, there are gonna be things that happen in your life where you are gonna be able to help somebody out of a really bad situation. And that person should be somebody who's close to you and a friend or a lover or whatever, or a relative that you can help your child that you know, God forbid something happens and you need like all this money. That's what you save that money for. You wanna be nice and share the money. That's a very nice sentiment. But donate to charities that you care about. Then donate to homelessness, donate to food shelters, donate to children's charities, donate, you know, to like the LGBTQ community for children who are have been kicked out of their homes. There's a million places to give your money to that you can actually track its use and track how it's being spent rather than just giving it to individuals. This story is as old as time. Like, it doesn't work out well when you hand out money to people.

[B]

One thing my parents taught me really early on through, like mistakes that they had made was they're like, never loan money to friends like these larger amounts of money, because a, they probably won't be in a position to pay it back. And then they feel awkward. But even if you say yes and say it's a gift, then they still often feel awkward and you lose the friendship.

[A]

And then they become resentful of you in a sense, because it's like you help them and they're embarrassed and so then you lose that friendship. Anyway, that's happened to me 50 times where I've given friends, here's 20 grand. You know, here you're in a bind. I actually saw somebody that I loaned $20,000 to the other day. He's never paid me back and he doesn't have to. It's fine. But I saw him. He's never brought it up. This was years ago. He's never even brought it up. He's fine, and no one knows about it. It was, like, our secret. He was so embarrassed when he came to me. He's like, I can't believe I have to ask you for this. And I was like, okay, yeah, I guess. Who else can you ask? I guess I'm the only person to give it to you. And he's never even once said, hey, I don't even care about the money. Just say I appreciate you doing that for me. Based on the fact we're not even. Yes. Something like, it's just kind of.

[D]

That's crazy.

[A]

You create a dynamic that is not good.

[D]

Acting like it never happened is wild. So wait, so you guys go to, like, events, you see them out of place, and it's just like, hey, girl, sell him house. Done doing.

[A]

I haven't seen him in a long time. And then I saw him the other day, and he was just like, hey, how are you? And I'm like, I'm great. How are you? And like, I remember telling my friend, I was like, you know, I once gave him. She goes, you did? I go, yeah, he was in a bind. He's really close with someone I'm really close with. And it was kind of weird for him to come to me in the first place, quite frankly. But, you know, I have a big heart. I always want to be generous when I have excess. I always do. I really do.

[E]

But.

[A]

And I did. But I just like. I'm like. It's interesting that that person feels no obligation to address it ever again. Like, just take it and. Okay, I guess we'll just forget that happened.

[B]

So one no is the answer for these friends. One way to kind of, like, get out of them blaming you is you could say, oh, you know what? It's. They left it in a trust. I don't really have access to it like that. Like, that way, it's. You're not saying no. You just can't. Unless you want.

[D]

You see. You see, for me, though, I'm like. Because it's really hard for me to, like, keep up with the lie. Like, that's why I'm a pretty straight shooter. I would be like, girl, this. The store is closed. Like, I wouldn't tell the lie because then it might come up again and send to someone who's like, it's in a trust. No, it's not. And I feel like that might make it dodgy.

[A]

What I'm saying is, listen, I've done this before. It doesn't work out well. I wish I could share with you, I wish I could give you this money, but I've loaned people money before or I've given away people money before and it's actually ruined our relationship. So I'm so sorry, but I'm not doing that anymore.

[D]

Yeah, people need to. And people need to understand that boundaries are real fucking thing. I like just set that boundary. But like, no, girl, it's not happening. I'll take it out to the dinner. We can go down to the Applebee's. I'll get your nice little chicken selects trio. Deal.

[A]

I won't, I won't be at the Applebee's, but good luck with. He'll take you on a cruise. He'll take you to an Applebee's that's actually on a cruise ship.

[D]

This is, this is a virgin voyage, Chelsea. You know, I feel like you will like a virgin voyage.

[A]

Anyway, moving along, moving on.

[B]

Well, our next question, and this is a first for us here on this show, but I have a question and Monet, this may be somebody that you are acquainted with, so I just want to preface with that.

[D]

They like cruises probably.

[B]

So this question starts. Dear Chelsea, I've been a full time drag queen for 16 years. Drag has been such a blessing in my life and given me opportunities beyond my wildest dreams. I became the first drag queen in history to perform on all seven continents. Yes, even Antarctica. Performed in 35 countries, was grand marshal of NYC Pride, ran for city council and was first drag queen to moderate a panel at the union. So things have been good. However, at 38 years old, I keep wanting to push myself and try new things to take it to the next level. Challenging myself as a performer is really important to me. When I moved to NYC at 17 years old, it was to pursue a career in musical theater. I got signed to an agent last year to continue this dream, but haven't been able to book anything. All my auditions get great feedback and lots of, oh yeah, love them and their work, but no follow through with getting the job. I've done a lot of different reality tv, but I want to do the real deal work as an actor, comedian and performer. What can I do to better help these goals and skills and get myself seen as more than a drag queen? Not that I don't love that, but I want people to see me as a more well rounded performer who's versatile in what I'M able to do. Thank you. Marty Cummings.

[D]

I know Marty. Go Cummings. Marty.

[A]

Do you guys know each other?

[D]

I do know Marty for years.

[A]

Oh, my God. Marty, this is our special guest. Monet is our special guest today. And look at these two. They already know each other. We've never had that happen before on this podcast.

[C]

I know Monet. Call me back.

[D]

I will not. I would not. I would.

[A]

Is that one of the people? Is that one of the. Marty, is that one of the people you auditioned for that you didn't hear back from?

[C]

Yeah, she will cast me. Monet. Hello, Monet.

[A]

Give, give, give Marty some advice.

[D]

Marty. I can say Marty is one of the most talented entertainers in New York City. Marty is hilarious. Marty is a great host. Marty is a good singer. So, Marty, are you leading with. So are you leading with the drag for these auditions? Like, are you going with, like headshots and like profiles of you in drag when you do these auditions?

[C]

It like, very. So, like, my agent primarily sends me out on drag stuff. So they'll send, you know, like my drag headshot, my non drag head shot auditions. Normally our self tapes, like in drag, whatever. And the feedback, it's always the same feedback from the casting directors. Oh, my God, we love Marty. They're amazing. We love, we love, we love, we love, we love. And then like, I'll get a call back or whatever and then I don't get it. And I'm like, okay, girl, you love me, but run me my check.

[A]

Like, hello, do you audition as you, Marty? Straight? Not straight, but like, it's. You know what I mean?

[C]

I, I'm primarily straight. I'm primarily sent out on Cassians for like drag roles and drag characters. There are some. So, like, it's. After Katherine and I talked, I actually my agent emailed me that this big director emailed them and was like, we really want to see Marty for these two roles for his next film. One is drag, one is not drag. Obviously, if I book the drag one, like, yes, I want it, but I want to be challenged. Like, I want to be challenged. I want to try something different. I want to show that I can do more than drag.

[D]

Right.

[A]

And also drag is a very specific niche thing. Like, it's not as widespread. Like, you know, it's not like there's tons of drag movies out each year. So I would really focus in on going in as yourself without being in drag also, in addition to auditioning for stuff in drag, because you're probably gonna find a lot more opportunities there.

[D]

Yeah. And I Was gonna say, I think that that needs to be the. Directed to your agents or your manager. Like, hey, guys, let's say for six months, do not send me any drag castings. Do not send my drag headshots. Like, only focus on Marty Cummings. Do not put drag into it. Like, I only want to focus on Marty Cummings. Things for me, out of drag, maybe some street roles get really crazy.

[A]

Like, let's not get carried away, guys.

[D]

Let's not go.

[A]

I'm sorry, ladies. I'm so sorry. I'm not talented.

[C]

I'm not that talented. Okay?

[A]

But yeah, you should. You should cast a wider net. That's. You're gonna catch more fish that way. That's just the way it works. Like, don't limit yourself to that. You know, like, go where the opportunities are too. I wouldn't say you have to excise all of your, like, submissions to drag, but I would say, like, definitely be open to playing yourself without being in drag.

[C]

Yeah, I totally am. And I think. I think Monet is right. Like, I have to stress to my agents, like, hey, like, I love the drag stuff, but please look at other castings for me also. I think that's. I think it's, like, easy to get, like. I don't want to say pigeonhole, but it's easy to see somebody as one thing and.

[B]

And also have your agent be saying those specific things to casting directors and, like, saying, you know, Marty has these other talents and loves playing these, you know, quote unquote, straight roles sort of thing. You know, comedy, drama, that sort of thing. I know Clayton Farris, who's, like, somebody I follow on TikTok. He is an actor and, like, kind of in the same vein, went to his agent was like, listen, I really want to do a movie this year. And then he wound up being in Weapons. He's like the boyfriend of the principal in Weapons. And he was like, I just said it and, like, stuck to my guns about it and it happened, you know? So I think having your agent expressing that to other people and because people do just want to, like, go with the first thing they see, which is, like, drag is more exciting than just, like, being a person. So.

[D]

And I am not, like, a big. I'm not a big intention person, and I manifest, like, I'm not that girl. But I do think because casting agents are so. They are so stupid, like, they can only see the thing that you're giving them. So, like, you have, like, drag can't even be a part of it. Because once they know that drag is a thing they've already written off in their minds. Like, well, no, he can't play that role because he's a drag queen over here. So I think it's really being intentional about, like, only giving them the Marty Cummings as opposed to Marty Cummings. You know what I mean?

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I think that's, like, I was telling Katherine, like, so many of these casting directors, they follow me, they come to my shows, they're like, we love, we love, we love, we love, we love. And so I think in their mind, it's like. Like, marty, drag queen. Marty drag queen. And I want, like, yeah. So I think, like, if my agent's sending tapes of me out of drag, that will start putting in their mind, like, oh, Marty is like, layered human being.

[D]

You know, Also, maybe one thing. This might be crazy, but maybe you need to have another, like, acting name. Like, be, like, Jake Sanchez. Maybe not Sanchez. That may be a little problematic. Be. Be somebody else. Be. Be Tony. Tony Smith. I don't know, like, have, like, a different pseudonym for your acting for. Out of. For stuff that is not drag at all.

[A]

Have you tried boofing any of these directors that you're auditioning for? We just covered. I just learned about boofing, and I'm very excited.

[C]

What's boofing?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[D]

Hello, Marty. Marty, you have boofed some things in your day. I've seen you boof them.

[A]

Boof.

[D]

Wait, what's boofing? What is it when you do something up your butthole? A bump of something?

[A]

I boof to God.

[C]

Oh, I boof all the time. That's my. That's gonna be my name on the resume.

[A]

Yeah. Marty, Marty, Marty. Boof. Boof. That's cute. That's got a ring to it.

[C]

I just broke a sweat. Oh, my God. Talking about boofy.

[A]

Yeah, I would definitely be sweating if somebody boofed something up in my patushy hole without a forewarning. But at least hopefully, I would have some sort of warning.

[C]

I've seen me boo. Okay.

[D]

I have. For sure, for sure. Okay. Marty, this is so crazy that you ended up being one of the questions with it. This is hilarious.

[A]

Marty, I think you have your marching orders right, Marty.

[C]

Yeah, I have a call with my agent tomorrow morning, so I'll get on it. Also sidebar. I went to Antarctica. Katherine told me you're going. You're love it. Penguin shit smells disgusting place for it.

[A]

Okay, great.

[B]

It smells bad.

[A]

I'll just snort a lot of ketamine before I go there, so I won't smell anything?

[C]

Boof the ketamine. Boof the ketamine.

[A]

Okay. Boof the ketamine. Okay. Sorry. So I'll just. Yeah. Then my asshole. See, I've gotta figure out which orifice to put what in. It's so confusing now.

[D]

I'm sorry.

[A]

So confused. But thank you. Thank you, Marty. I appreciate your time.

[C]

Thank you, guys.

[D]

Bye. Bye.

[C]

Thanks.

[D]

People also sometimes boof alcohol. Like if you. Because sometimes you're allergic to. You're allergic to it going down in something in here. So they.

[A]

Who's allergic to alcohol?

[D]

I know a lot of people, a lot of people, especially vodka. People allergic to vodka because of the weed.

[A]

And so the next move is to put it in your butt.

[D]

How about you?

[A]

But if you're allergic to something, then putting it in your body in any capacity has gotta be bad. Bad.

[D]

I know. But the gays will need their alcohol children.

[A]

This doesn't sound like good advice. Anyway, moving on. Katherine.

[B]

All right, well, our next caller is Megan. And Megan says today I'm writing to you for advice on an estranged father dynamic. I had a very normal childhood until about high school when my father's mental health took a huge hit. Turns out he had been sexually abused by a nun as a child. And about the time I hit fifth grade, my father went off the deep end. He and my mom were separated off and on while I was a teen, with me confronting him over cheating with sex workers and then him destroying my mother financially in the divorce. His family is full of addicts, criminals, and just all around con men. I have not had contact with my father in the last 15 years. Despite him showing up at my workplaces, circling around my block and just generally trying to make contact. I've never felt emotionally safe around him. Fast forward to this year when I've started to wonder if I will ever have contact and how I'll feel if he passes away. I happened to Google him and found out he recently won an $11 million settlement in a personal injury lawsuit.

[A]

Time to time to contact him, he's.

[B]

Been living on disability, running scams and working under the table to avoid paying off his debts, including tens of thousands he owes my mom in the divorce and 18 years of child support he never paid for my half sister. My anger was palpable. Him living in a $3 million mansion in Milwaukee that's a dream home with a brand new sports car while I'm a struggling teacher and my mom had to put off retirement because he cleared out her 401k and the divorce. While I'M sitting here stewing on this information cosmically. He just apparently knew what I was thinking about and sent me an email apologizing for, quote, things he had done wrong and asking for contact again. Do I meet with him? Should we have contact with parents just because they're our parents so we don't have regrets? Or should I maintain my boundaries for my own mental health? This is the first time he's ever owned any wrongdoing or offered an apology. But I also don't want it to seem like I'm suddenly returning because he has money. Now I have two small children that he has never met and who I haven't even considered introducing him to. I also feel like I might owe it to my mom and half sister to try and get them back the money they're owed. I'd appreciate your thoughts on family boundaries and estrangement. Thanks for all you do. Megan.

[A]

Hi, Megan.

[E]

Hi, how are you?

[A]

Hi. This is our special guest, Monet X Change. She's here today.

[D]

Hi, Megan. Nice to meet you.

[A]

So funny.

[D]

Megan.

[A]

We just had a conversation with somebody who had come into a lot of money and was starting to loan it out to people and wondering what their boundaries would should be about that because all of these people started, you know, approaching them. But this is a different situation because your father is trying to reach out to you and you got an email that you hadn't gotten before. My impetus, I'm of two schools of thought for this. I would be motivated to reimburse your mother and your sister for the money that he neglected to pay them. That would be my motivation for connecting with your father. But he also did apologize in this email, which you said is something he's never done before, right?

[E]

Never. Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so this is the first apology he's made to you.

[E]

Absolutely.

[A]

And how does that make you feel?

[E]

Yeah, there's been years of no ownership, no talking. So angry, but also angry for my mother. When I mentioned it to her, her reaction, like I could just see the disappointment that he harmed her in so many ways and she didn't get any ounce of an apology. And he said that this stemmed from him, he perseverates in this trial of the abuse that happened to him. And he had been rereading the trial and found a letter I wrote to the court and he had like realized first time that I think he like recognized anything outside his own world. Like in all of this, he's the victim in everything. And I think he just like for the first time was starting to deal with it. And he's a lonely old man who doesn't have his family in his life. And I think that's really hard. And money doesn't solve your problems. So I think that was him reaching out.

[A]

I think that you. This is a great opportunity for you to say, hey, listen, I know that you've come into $11 million, that you want a lawsuit. If you want to speak to me, the way that you could speak to me and to move forward in our relationship is to do right by my mom and do right by my sister and catalog all of the money that he didn't pay in child support and alimony. Catalog all of that and reiterate what your mom had to do, how she had to not. I think you said she didn't retire on time because she had to work. Right. Reiterate all of those things and say, this is the decent thing to do. And if and when you do this, if you decide to do the right thing, then I would be willing to talk to you.

[B]

You. I'm also going to add an asterisk to that because I have recently learned that in some states, like this is state dependent, so you'll have to figure out what's, you know, with your state. But in some states, the child support stuff never goes away. So if the authorities are let know that he has this money, the money should just get, like, taken out of his account and literally put into your mom's account. Like, it depends on the state, like I said. But some of this money might be able to be just transferred right over.

[E]

We found out Wisconsin law doesn't get my sister anything back. Her stepfather is a lawyer, so they looked into it.

[B]

So she.

[E]

There's a statute of limitations on it. Hers is gone, but my mother has consulted a lawyer and is now gonna go forward with it.

[C]

Great.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Great. Awesome.

[D]

That's amazing. Yeah. I think that atone, like, yes, he is. He seems to be in a different place where he's apologizing, making moves to apologize and amend his wrongs. But for me, a big part of that is the atonement, the reparations for the wrongs you have done. So until he's able to do that, it's probably gonna be really hard for me. I'm gonna guess for you, Megan, probably virtually impossible to move on when you are not righting the wrongs that you did, which is giving us this money back. Like you have. You skimped out on all these years of caring for me and caring for my mother and all this stuff. So he has to atone. To make you want to feel like this relationship is repairable. Cause right now it doesn't seem like it is. And you come into $11 million in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, you can live off a million dollars for the next 20 centuries. $11 million. You'll be just fine if you give whatever he's owed to you, your sister and your mom to move on. And then y' all can build, you know, a family dynamic, hopefully again or whatever that looks like now that you're grown and you're not a child anymore. Whatever. Whatever that wants to like for you. And, you know, and in regards to him being your father, yes, he's your father, but he's a fucking human being first. So he needs to fix what he needs to do so he could. You guys can all move on and, you know, build something nice, hopefully, if you want that.

[A]

Meg, what do you think about this, Meg?

[E]

Yeah, that makes a ton of sense. Okay.

[A]

Okay, good. Let us know what happens.

[E]

I will.

[D]

Okay, cool.

[A]

We'll send him that email and, you know, catalog everything for him so he's not confused about anything. And then, you know, based on. And then the ball's in his court and he can decide and maybe increase.

[B]

The amounts for inflation.

[A]

Exactly.

[D]

Hello, Katherine. Absolutely.

[A]

Girl percentage and pain and suffering and whatever else you decide to throw in there.

[E]

We actually looked at it. There's a clause in their divorce that he owes interest that was specifically written in. So it actually comes out, like, with interest of 17 years. It comes out to be a lot more for my mom, so hopefully she'll at the very least get that back.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Amazing. Well, keep us posted. Okay.

[A]

Keep us posted. Thanks, Meg.

[E]

Thank you. I appreciate your time.

[D]

Katherine, I have to say, I listen to Yalls pods so often. I just love your haircut. It's gorgeous.

[B]

Thank you. I was pink until very recently, and then I chopped it all off about six months ago. So, yeah, thank you. I appreciate it.

[D]

Well, experience fly.

[A]

Okay, so we'll take a break and come back and do a last.

[B]

Yeah, a little quickie at the end.

[A]

Okay. We'll be right back with Monet X Change. And we're back live from Rochester, New York.

[D]

Black and Black.

[A]

We're back for black and. And we're all women in here.

[B]

Yes. Okay, so our last question comes from Brayden, and the subject line is, my boyfriend won't shut the fuck up about his job. Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend and I have been together for over two years, and I love him very much. We have so much fun together. When he gets out of his head about work, but most of the time he won't shut the fuck up about his job and how good he is at it. Oh, he loves his job and says so all the time. I'm so happy for him and proud of his hard work and success, but it's not the only thing I want to talk about. It can also come off as very braggadocious sometimes and I can't help but roll my eyes. On the inside. We work in the same industry, so part of me wonders if that's why I don't enjoy the conversation. I even try to casually change the conversation sometimes, but still, work seems to be his favorite topic. He is so preoccupied that even when we go out on dates, I can see he's in his head. When I ask what he's thinking about, he replies work. And then goes into detail. Sometimes he can't sleep at night because he can't stop thinking about work. He acknowledges the fact that his brain never stops working, so that's a positive in the right direction. I suppose. He really is very successful at his job and constantly winning awards and acknowledgments. I'm so proud of him and try to be supportive, but I can't take this never ending conversation about work. Any words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.

[A]

I think you should just read that letter to him. I honestly think you should just read that letter to him because there's. You have to be direct about it and you have to be like, nobody wants to hear about somebody's job all day long. Nobody wants to hear about it.

[B]

Especially when you work in the same industry.

[A]

No, exactly. Like you've got to have a sense of. And also, you know, the ingredients to be a successful human being. Mean that you have to have more than one thing going on in your life. Like not just work. It can't be one dimensional like that you're in a relationship. There's gotta be other shit to talk about.

[D]

There's nothing I want to hear about all day long except for boofing. Nothing else.

[A]

I mean, you and me both, sister. I mean, now that I know about boofing, it's all I want to talk about.

[D]

And it's just so annoying to hear you just talk about your job all the time over and over and over again. Like, like, at least like make me bring up something like, let me give you prompts about your job. I don't want to hear you bring it up all the time. Let me be impressed by it. And again, I know in this day and age Where a lot of my straight girlfriends are dating guys that. That can't find a job and don't fucking work. I know finding a dude that does have a job is very attractive, but you're on the other end of the spectrum now. He won't fucking shut up about it. So. Yeah, that seems like a lot.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

So also, this to me, a little bit smacks of, like, maybe do some testing and see if he's got, like, either ADHD or some OCD that he can't stop. Sort of, like spiraling and, like, thinking about work eventually.

[A]

That's a good idea.

[B]

Yeah. And maybe if not, then just a little therapy. So if you get out of it.

[A]

If he does have any of those things, you could boof him his Adderall or you can boof him some Vyvanse. Just shove the pills right up his asshole. If you have been listening to this episode, everyone, when you get off of this episode, I want your dud listening to us. Please try putting something in your body. But I'm kidding. I don't want everyone to try that. But if you want to try it, go for it. But I'm not a doctor, and I'm also not a therapist. You know, I was listening to Mel Robbins podcast the other day, and at the end of her podcast, she goes, I am not a doctor. There's a whole spiel about her not being a doctor or a therapist. I'm like, why don't we do that at the end of mine? Like, we've got it in the.

[B]

We've got it in the description.

[A]

Oh, okay. Great, great, great. Cause I was like, she's. She's not even giving advice like, I'm giving advice. She kind of just, like, you know, gives advice and posts it. It's like, anyway, Monet, I love you. You're so funny.

[D]

I love you.

[A]

You're the best. And I hope you have a great tour. Everyone buy tickets from moneexchange.com you can get the tickets there.

[D]

And also, Chelsea, I want to come open for you somewhere.

[A]

I would love that. I would love for us to spend a weekend, a romantic boofing weekend together in some. In a very exotic locale, like Ohio.

[B]

My God, I'm glomming onto.

[D]

Ooh. Oh, my. Can I tell you, I hate the state of Ohio. What an awful place. Cleveland, Columbus, there. All of it is Cincinnati, though.

[A]

You made all. All the. All the places in Ohio. Well, that's good to know. Hopefully you won't stop there on your tour then.

[D]

I know I avoid Ohio like the plague.

[A]

Okay, Monet, I will. Please hit me up. You have my phone number, so hit me up. When you're back in LA where you. Where I know that you live now you don't.

[D]

Chelsea, we're gonna have the same conversation about two months if, like, girl, I'm in New York where you're at. I'm like, I'm in.

[A]

I'm in a rolling blackout of life. So. Okay.

[D]

Thank you all so much for having me. It's so fun. Love you, too.

[A]

Have a great day.

[C]

Bye.

[B]

Bye. The word of the week is perseverate. Verb. To intently focus one's attention on a thought or thoughts. Fixate used in a sentence. Chelsea will continue to perseverate on boofing all week. Perseverate.

[A]

I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.

[B]

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earchelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Deckert, executive producer Kathryn Lawrence. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.

[A]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.