Life on the PTSD List with Kathy Griffin

Summary

Dear Chelsea: “Life on the PTSD List with Kathy Griffin”

Podcast: Dear Chelsea (iHeartPodcasts)
Episode Air Date: August 28, 2025
Guest: Kathy Griffin
Theme: Surviving scandal, resiliency, aging, friendship, and advice for the aimless

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Episode Overview

Chelsea Handler and co-host Catherine Law welcome comedian Kathy Griffin to discuss her new special, "Life on the PTSD List," and what it means to survive personal and professional upheaval. From candid talk about plastic surgery and cancel culture to deep dives into loneliness, recovery, and forging new connections, this episode blends biting humor with unflinching honesty. Listener calls add additional layers of real-life challenges and off-the-cuff advice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chelsea’s Housing Limbo and Bandwidth (02:20–06:00)

• Chelsea shares her ongoing saga of living as a guest during her home renovation, highlighting feelings of instability and reduced emotional “bandwidth."
  • “My ability and bandwidth has shrunk totally. I don't have any time for any bullshit or anyone else’s problems.” (04:51, Chelsea)
  • Catherine draws a parallel to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs: “You don’t have the safety of somewhere to go home at night … so you don't have that extra to be giving. That makes total sense to me.” (05:35)

2. Kathy Griffin on Plastic Surgery—Owning It (06:02–17:10)

• Kathy reveals she’s five weeks post-facelift and dives into all things cosmetic surgery, including the social pressures, pain, and industry inside stories.
  • On her neck lift: “It is someone cutting the back of your neck open, pulling it as hard as you could.” (06:39, Kathy)
  • Discusses surgical trends, like the “million dollar ponytail facelift.”
  • On being candid about procedures as a feminist: "As a hardcore feminist, I paid a man to sew my mouth shut." (15:13, Kathy)
  • Chelsea and Kathy joke about their aversion to over-the-counter pain relief: “Anyone who says to me, acetaminophen at 800, I’m like, don’t talk to me like that. … I want pure pills, thank you.” (09:55, Chelsea)
• Notable moment: Kathy encourages being open about plastic surgery rather than hiding it, poking fun at celebrities (e.g., Sia and Kris Jenner's alleged million-dollar surgeon).

3. Hell of the Trump Scandal and Aftermath (17:10–36:03)

• Kathy details the life-altering consequences of her viral Trump photo scandal.
  • Professional blacklisting: "I was out of work for six and a half years." (19:43, Kathy)
  • On being put on government watch lists: “No one would hire you for six and a half years.” (19:46, Chelsea)
  • Personal toll: death threats, friends abandoning her, substance abuse, suicide attempt, lengthy psych hold, and recovery (including lung cancer, vocal cord paralysis).
  • The role of resiliency: “A lot of the resilience is just not quitting.” (23:32, Kathy)
• The irony of public and private responses: “Nobody’s been like, ‘Sorry, that was kind of an overreaction.’ And now it’s so clear because we see Trump and his machine do this to [other women]…” (23:52, Kathy)
• Critique of U.S. political/media culture and the ongoing impact of MAGA-based conspiracy theories.

4. Purpose & Survival in Comedy (32:17–36:03)

• Kathy’s ‘calling’ is now as much about free speech and expression as it is about making people laugh.
  • “If I have a purpose, my number one purpose, hopefully is to make people laugh… now my purpose is to be able to tell people what the First Amendment really is.” (33:36, Kathy)
  • Discusses never losing a lawsuit from post-scandal defamation cases but the overwhelming legal costs and stress.
  • On returning to stage: "Every show was a gift…When I even mentioned the Trump photo as a reference point, the audience spontaneously burst into applause, and I almost welled up." (35:24, Kathy)

5. Women in Comedy & Industry Respect (36:04–39:02)

• Kathy expresses frustration at lacking respect from male comics due to her storytelling style, not traditional joke setup/punchline delivery.
• Tells story of intense grilling by Stephen Colbert over the Trump photo: “I walked off stage and I really did burst into tears the minute I was in the wings.” (37:04, Kathy)

6. Men, Independence, and Romantic Exhaustion (39:02–42:45)

• Both Chelsea and Kathy reflect on disinterest in, or even allergy to, men and romantic relationships.
  • Chelsea: “I haven't met a man in the last six months that I have felt like I wanna fuck this guy. … I'm having an allergic reaction to men right now.” (39:53)
  • Kathy: “I am trying to get to the done with men stage… I think women are leveling up right now… I was a serial monogamist… but I’m getting there.” (38:27)
• The freedom of sleeping alone, traveling alone, and not being responsible for anyone else’s energy.

7. Tour Life & Finding Support (42:45–43:49)

• Kathy describes bringing a “babysitter”—a friend or gay companion—on every tour leg for mutual support, especially post-PTSD diagnosis.
  • “It just helped tremendously because… Both of my husbands, I made them my tour manager. … And then you didn't learn the first time you did it again?” (42:55)
• On financial survival: years of prudent saving and conservative investing, echoing advice from her “Depression parents” and Suze Orman.

8. Listener Advice Calls

a. Diego: The Aimless, Lazy Millennial (53:47–68:17)

• Diego, 34, wants to “retire” despite a huge student loan, a background of law school dropouts, and a penchant for Xanax, vaping, and video games.
  • Chelsea, deadpan: “You really are a lazy fuck. How old are you?” (54:54)
  • Kathy offers to marry Diego, joking about her pattern of “marrying idiots.”
  • Multiple wry suggestions: work in a retirement community (where he prefers older company), get into sales (i.e., “sell air conditioning units in Europe”), or install AC units in U.S. retirement homes.
  • Final advice: “Stop talking about how lazy you are… That’s going to have a deleterious impact on everything you do. … People want to be around people that are ambitious.” (61:58, Chelsea)

b. Dina: Making Friends Later in Life (72:55–79:43)

• Dina, 63, has lost close friends and struggles to build new connections, daunted by the 200-hour "rule."
  • Chelsea: “The pattern of people that have been in our lives doesn’t necessarily resemble the pattern of people that are going to be in our lives. … Don’t lose hope.” (73:58)
  • Kathy: “Sometimes you get to see someone’s life so much [on social media] that if you’re comfortable DMing them … it can actually get you a friend that doesn’t take 200 hours.” (78:01)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Plastic Surgery Realness:
  • “As a hardcore feminist, I paid a man to sew my mouth shut.” – Kathy Griffin (15:13)
• On the Trump Scandal’s Toll:
  • “I was out of work for six and a half years.” – Kathy Griffin (19:43)
  • “A lot of the resilience is just not quitting.” – Kathy Griffin (23:32)
• On Addiction and Survival:
  • “I became addicted to pills… I tried to overdose… [A] psych hold… got me into AA… I got lung cancer even though I’ve never smoked… paralyzed my left vocal cord…” (21:35, Kathy)
• On Respect in Comedy:
  • “No, I don't. I feel like a lot of the guys don't think I'm a real comic because I don't tell traditional jokes with like a setup and punchline. I tell stories…” – Kathy Griffin (36:11)
• Chelsea on Modern Men:
  • “I like to be alone. I wanna sleep alone. I don’t wanna hear you breathing. I don’t wanna smell you, and I don’t want breath coming towards me…” (39:12)
• On Making Friends:
  • “You should always look at what types of people haven’t you been… Think about like opening your spirit more and opening the way that you look at friendships in a different way because you’re at a different stage in your life and you really never know who is going to come into your life.” – Chelsea Handler (73:58)
• Kathy’s Goal:
  • “I have a bucket list, and I would like to be a beaver hunt champion.” (52:54)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Chelsea’s Housing & Emotional Bandwidth: 02:20–06:00
• Plastic Surgery Deep Dive: 06:02–17:10
• Kathy’s Trump Scandal Backlash: 17:10–36:03
• Purpose, Free Speech, and Comedy: 32:17–36:03
• Respect in Comedy: 36:04–39:02
• Rant on Men & Independence: 39:02–42:45
• Listener Call: Diego—Apathy & Advice: 53:47–68:17
• Listener Call: Dina—New Friendships After Loss: 72:55–79:43

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Tone & Style

• Honest, Humorous, and Unfiltered:
  • Chelsea’s sharp wit and irreverence remain, but a sincere, empathetic streak underscores even the wildest jokes.
  • Kathy matches in candor, self-effacing while dropping truth bombs about fame, failure, and survival.
• Dark Humor & Vulnerability:
  • Banter around drugs, mental illness, and social rejection are made palatable by their open, almost therapeutic comedy.
  • Listener calls balance humor with genuine advice, and no topic is off-limits.

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Useful Takeaways

• Embrace transparency about cosmetic changes, aging, and vulnerability.
• For those weathering public or personal storms: resiliency is born from not quitting, humor, and sometimes changing your role or mission.
• Making friends and finding purpose are lifelong processes—loss and loneliness at any age can be overcome by openness and stretching habitual boundaries.
• Recovery from trauma, addiction, or professional exile is possible—Kathy's journey exemplifies how even seismic setbacks can yield new direction and activism.

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Episode Links

• Kathy Griffin’s Special: Life on the PTSD List (YouTube)
• Kathy Griffin’s Weekly YouTube Show: Kathy Griffin Talk Youk Head Off

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Final Notes

This episode is a must-listen for anyone fascinated by celebrity culture, cancel culture, aging ungracefully (and proudly), and the real meaning of “starting over.” The humor is biting, but the underlying message is inspiring: life never stops offering you new lists—or new chances to get back on one.

Transcript

[A]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[B]

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[A]

Hi Chelsea.

[B]

It's Thursday. Does anyone want to know if I moved into my house?

[A]

I do not yet.

[B]

Nope. Delayed Delayed Delayed delayed.

[A]

Is that why we're not at your house recording right now?

[B]

That's why we're not at my house recording right now. I Can't wait until I sell this house and to give somebody our brand new podcast room that we never have gotten to use.

[A]

You're gonna love it.

[B]

We've used it a couple of times. So I am still staying with my friend.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And just planning your next move.

[C]

I'm just.

[A]

Well, you're going to Mallorca soon.

[B]

I am going to Mallorca, yes. I'm going to Mallorca.

[C]

I'm doing.

[B]

I have the month of September in la. They say they are almost finished. This is what they tell me every week, every time, every day, every time. Now we're waiting for the power to be turned back on so that I can go in and live in my house through the final stages of the construction just to get out of my friend's house so that she doesn't have to deal with me. So sleeping in her fucking bed with her because her nephew moved in and now I'm in her bed and I have Doug. And honestly, my friend Kat, who I'm staying with. Shout out to Kat Samek. Actually, I don't even know if that's how you say her last name, because someone the other day said, Kat Samek. And I was like, wait, is it Samek or Samek? And then I don't remember what she said after that. But she has been the most accommodating, hospitable host ever. Like, she has made me food, she has given me things to ice when I had my foot surgery. So she has these ice packs at her house that like. I've never seen contraptions like this. Where she has a contraption that ices your big toe and the arch of your foot.

[C]

What?

[B]

Or the ball of your foot, but not the other four toes. So you put it on the big toe. She has an ice contraption for like the back of. If you wanna ice the bottom of your chin and then strap it to your head like a facelift ice mask. She has one of those. She has one of those knee sleeves, but for your shoulder. She has every. Wow. And the other day I said. Cause my foot is finally healing from my foot surgery and it's a little bit still swollen still. It's gonna be for a couple months, I think they said, but I'm able to do stuff. And she came home the other night with these paraffin wax foot holders. I of course put them on and then got up to try and get Doug and went flying. But that's on me. But she's like a lover, like Kat. So shout out to my friend Kat for having me and being the best host and putting up with all of my shenanigans. Ma Belle's there every morning fucking tidying up my bullshit on my side of the bed.

[A]

Well, maybe as a thank you, you can learn how to pronounce her last name.

[B]

I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean, honestly, I have nothing left to give. Do you know that when I was using the analogy with my friend, I said, you know what the problem with this house is? I love to be involved in people's lives. I love to be the friend that's gonna go the extra mile, that's gonna make the extra phone call, that's gonna be honest and tell you the truth and really show up when you have such a fucking weight of coal on you. My ability and bandwidth has shrunk totally. I don't have any time for any bullshit or anyone else's problems, which is a selfish thing to say and it's not entirely true because I have. You know, but my bandwidth is diminished by a large margin. And I. I mean, it's at Maslow's.

[A]

Hierarchy of needs, right? It's like your actual place where you're living is non existent. You know, it's not. You don't have the safety of somewhere to go home at night. Your own place to go home at night and unload and unpack and unwind and so, like, you don't have that extra to be giving. That makes total sense to me.

[B]

Okay, well then that's. That explains. Yes, you're off the hook. Yeah. Everybody, that's my deal. That's my deal. Suck it up.

[A]

Well, I'm really excited about our guest today.

[B]

Oh, yeah, she's awesome. Okay, so our guest today has a new special. It's called Life on the PTSD list. It's now available on YouTube. Please welcome Kathy Griffin. Kathy Griffin is here. And I'm very excited a to have a conversation, an open conversation about plastic surgery.

[C]

Five weeks ago, I had a facelift.

[B]

So. Fresh off a facelift. Yes. Okay. Cause I'm about to do a little nip and tucking myself. I. I need my neck a little bit.

[C]

I got the neck pull.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm not liking.

[C]

Have you had it?

[B]

No.

[C]

It's painful. So you will have to turn like your entire upper body for a while, which is kind of comical.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

But just don't kid yourself. It is someone cutting the back of your neck open back of your neck, pulling it as hard as you could.

[B]

I thought they could Go through right here?

[C]

Yes, here I have a little left over here, but I also have one back there. And so it's a yank.

[B]

I.

[C]

Okay, it is. There's no other way to put it.

[B]

And how do you get them to make sure that you don't look pulled and that you look just fresh rather.

[C]

Than that I think I've had.

[B]

Or does it take a while to settle in?

[C]

The first one I had, I was only 38, which was dumb. It was too young. And nobody. 38, nobody even knew. I didn't even need it. I was just talked into it. And the second one, I think I looked pulled because that was the style of the day.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And now they started at, like, the top of my ear, so they didn't start up, like, in my forehead. So the poll was more lateral. And I think that's why it doesn't look. I don't have, like, the. I'm not dissing Joe Biden, but I don't have the Joe Biden, like, eyes are going up.

[B]

How did Joe Biden have time to get a facelift while he was the president?

[C]

Okay, here's what he didn't have time for. He didn't have time to recover. Yeah, I mean, you can get the facelift. It takes five hours, but it does.

[B]

Take a period of time to settle in.

[C]

Yes, it takes a lot of time. What is that period of time?

[B]

What is that period of time?

[C]

Okay, so my guy told me that it would be three months till I could go on camera. Well, here I am. It's five weeks. No one does. And you won't need three months. Yeah, I did do the hyperbaric chamber every day.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, great. But then you just told me that two people exploded in hyperbaric chambers.

[C]

Two people have passed away in hyperbaric chambers, and one was a child in a hospital and one was a grown man last week. And what the hyperbaric chamber place that I go to told me was that it was related to whatever battery the person had taken into the chamber. So, for example, I would put my phone. They would put my phone on top of the chamber on the outside. Then I would have the battery operated speaker, like, right next to my ear, and I'd be listening to audiobooks during the 90 minutes. But I'll be honest, now I'm spooked and I'm afraid to go back at all.

[B]

Because when I've used that hyperbaric chamber center, the one on Beverly. Have you ever been there?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay, well, I've used that before when I had shoulder surgery. I went in there a few times.

[C]

And did it help?

[B]

I mean, I don't know. You can't. There's not. I mean, every. Everyone says it's great. I have one at home, but it's a low pressure one. It's like, called hyperbaric chamber pressure. Like low oxy health or something. Doxy health. And that's. It's like you zip yourself in so clearly, like you need an attendant for the ones you're going into.

[C]

The one I said, you can't take your speaker in anymore, so you just have to lay there for 90 minutes. And I said, no, no, that's too boring. I can't do it.

[B]

No, no, exactly.

[C]

Who wants.

[B]

How am I going to lie there for 90? I need a book or a TV show.

[C]

I need a book. I want to talk about books, too, because I've never read so much in my life since this facelift.

[B]

Oh, see, isn't that the best part? The recovery. That's exactly what I'm looking forward to, is the recovery.

[C]

And really play the pity card. I mean, really play up the pain and the pity and the, oh, my God, I can't move. And then, of course, blame society, and then I'm up.

[B]

But also take tons of pills because I love drugs.

[C]

Of course.

[B]

I mean, it's just another excuse to get pills.

[C]

Don't go with Tylenol.

[B]

I know anyone who says to me, acetaminophen at 800. I'm like, don't talk to me like that. You might as well be talking about melatonin.

[C]

I want poor pills, thank you.

[B]

That's why they want anything over the counter. I'm not interested.

[C]

You want to be fighting with your pharmacist.

[B]

So this is your. So this is amazing. So this is your third.

[C]

No, wait, hold on. So facelift, neck pull and upper eyes.

[B]

But isn't a bottom. Like, doesn't a neck pull goes with a lower facelift?

[C]

Well, yes, but I had them both. Because I gotta say, he really did give me my jawline back. Not that I had, like, big jowls, but look, I'm 64 and a half, and so just reg skin happens. And so I just. I'm not trying to look, you know, 40, but I just thought if he can do it in a way where I don't look crazy done, then I'm gonna do it. And I hope you think this is funny, and she's openly talked about this, but I went to Sia's doctor, and the reason I think that's funny is because Sia, the chandelier songstress is known for wearing a backwards wig. And we don't even know what her face looks like.

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

I mean, you and I know. Cause we know. But I still think it's funny that she even got a facelift and no one knows what she looks like.

[B]

But Sia's also adopted like some grown men, right?

[C]

She's adopted two grown men.

[B]

Two 18 year old men. So another unusual.

[C]

And has a baby. Has an 18 month old.

[B]

Did she have a baby or did she adopt a baby?

[C]

She did. Surrogate.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And you're the surrogate.

[C]

Of course. Obviously she won as many of my genes as possible.

[B]

How many babies have you been a surrogate to?

[C]

17. And I am sore. So I will, by the way, I will not get the downstairs rejuvenation. No matter how sexy it's supposed to make you feel. I don't believe in it. I think a woman hating man must have come up with that idea. But I will tell you this. During my facelift, I believe they may have taken my entire ears off and put them on a side table. And then just headlines and then reattach them. And then reattach them.

[B]

Let me show you what something was like here with my ears.

[C]

Because you can see the scars.

[B]

Well, it looks also like your hairline was shaved.

[C]

I'm now doing Rogaine, which says nothing on the bottle except this is not for women. If you're a woman, don't use this. And he was like, ignore that. So I'm almost blowing up in hyperbaric chambers reading a lot and using men's Rogaine.

[B]

Yeah. And who knows if that's flammable or if that's a component into what if.

[C]

I get a bush again?

[B]

Let me show you something that is happening to my ears.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Can you see my ears, how they're a little bit flappy? They look like labia. Right? They look like a little bit like they've been stretched out like a labia. So I'm get my. When I do whatever we're talking about now when I do my neck thing, I'm gonna get my ears trimmed. This is a surgical procedure where they cut them a little bit and reattach. Cause they only get longer as you get older. I mean, you just brought up your ears. That reminded me. And listen, I've asked some friends. Most people will be like, you don't need to do anything. Age naturally, blah, blah, blah. Or as naturally as I'm going to. Obviously I'M not going to do it that way. I mean, that's already out of the cast.

[C]

So that's the conversation.

[B]

And also, the truck has already left the station.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

So. But the ear thing is not very common for people to do. But the people that I've asked, including a plastic surgeon, he goes, you should definitely take care of that.

[C]

I mean, first of all, it's not an issue. But I didn't even know that existed.

[B]

It's kind of genius.

[C]

So let me tell you about the mouth part, which is weird, my version of the ear thing. Cause I didn't know it existed. But by the way, I think the doctor I went to might have invented this. His name is Dr. Talley. I recommend him, whatever.

[B]

Does he give you free surgery because you promote him?

[C]

Not at all.

[B]

Well, that's bullshit. In fact, he should totally do that.

[C]

He is incredibly expensive now. He's not the Kris Jenner guy. Who's a million?

[B]

Dr. Levine in New York.

[C]

I believe I may be wrong. Allegedly, Dr. Levine is a million.

[B]

Is he a million dol.

[C]

And when I mentioned that, a lot of money, someone said to me, oh, there's like six guys in LA that are now up to a million. And these dames are paying it. And some guys are.

[B]

Well, that's ridiculous, first of all, because it doesn't cost a million dollars to get a facelift. No, that's just taking advantage of people.

[C]

Right. But no, I'm not. I am in no way a paid spokesperson. This is the first time I've even said his name. Because so far the results are good and that's that. But there's a thing with the corners of my mouth where as you get older, the very end, corners start to go down a little bit.

[B]

You start to drool on yourself.

[C]

Yeah, a little bit of drooling. I'm already doing a lot of drooling, nose running and tearing for no reason. I'm sobbing right now.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. She's an emotional wreck.

[C]

A wreck. And so anyway, no one can detect it. He sews just a little bit of the outside of your mouth. And so I'm just owning that. As a hardcore feminist, I paid a man to sew my mouth shut.

[B]

Is it hard to acclimate to having a smaller mouth? Like, can you physically. Does it physically feel different?

[C]

I've noticed it In N Out Burger, because when I got sprung from the Rich Lady Healing Place, which is its own situation comedy.

[B]

Is that the Pearl Recovery Center?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Pearl Recovery Center. Yes.

[C]

I don't wanna get in any Trouble, as I've been sued seven times since my Trump head photo. So I won't say the real name, but in my act, I call it immortal, because that's how they want you to feel. Did you just take your hand and just move your face a little while.

[B]

I'm washing your face?

[C]

So you're actually.

[B]

I'm giving myself a real manual facelift.

[C]

A bit of a facelift.

[B]

Switching your face and everything that you're talking about. I mean, I can't be enjoying a conversation more than this one about plastic surgery that I'm just like, where else can I pinch and tuck?

[C]

It's like shopping.

[B]

But I wonder if, because you got a facelift at 38, if that was too early. Do you think that was too early? Yes, because you said you've gotten three facelifts. Like, that seems like too many.

[C]

Okay. It's too many because my forehead is so high that he actually said, and I'm quoting, you have too much real estate up there. So I can't give you the very trendy ponytail facelift, which is the one everyone's getting. Where I believe I may be wrong. They cut a circular. Basically a hole at the crown of your head, yank all the skin evenly, then sew it up. So it's like if you're wearing the tightest ponytail you've ever worn, which we.

[B]

All know makes is already a facelift, getting a tight, high ponytail is like, anytime I do anything like that, you.

[C]

Should have prescription drugs that go with it as well, just for one day. And so I have too much real estate. I'm doing air quotes to have gotten the ponytail. But that's really. If you want, like, the trendiest of the trend, it's the million dollar ponytail.

[B]

Okay. We have so much to talk about, Kathy, because so much has happened. You mentioned the Trump thing, which made me so irate that you.

[C]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

And this is years ago, but, like, you know, it still lives. I know. And it's so unfair to you because I just. I feel like you have been treated so unfairly in your career. And I know you've gone through much personal bullshit, too, with all these fucking men that you've married that are such losers.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Like, where do we even begin? Let's. I don't want to harp on the Trump stuff because you've moved past that and you're.

[C]

But I did get a death threat to my personal email last week, and I was like, how did they get my. Like, even in eight years, that's never happened.

[B]

But that's easy to get. I've gotten tons of death threats. I wouldn't take. Don't be too flattered by that. You know what I mean?

[C]

Like, well, I called the FBI anyway, and I know them. I know them from all the times they've come to my house.

[B]

Seriously, I'll Kush Patel, because I'm sure he'll be interested in helping and defending you.

[C]

I have been, Chelsea. I've been in Twitter fights with all these people that are now in the Cabinet. Like during the first term, I was like, it's go time. Before Elon bought Twitter and now it's a Nazi playground. But I've been in fights with half the fucking cabinet. I just. I am not even a political comic. I just tell stories about celebrities. And now I'm in fights with Kash Patel.

[B]

So tell me when that whole Trump backlash. And for those of you who aren't familiar, Kathy posted a photo. Or was it a photo?

[C]

It was a photo of me holding a Trump Halloween mask that I had put one of my wig heads behind. Cause it kept folding and I put ketchup on it to look like blood. And I was holding it like Perseus and Medusa. So I was holding it up.

[B]

I'm not familiar with those two, but okay, Greek mythology.

[C]

Got it. And so I thought it was sort of a statement, a very tongue in cheek. Obviously not a legitimate threat. But the reaction to it was so seismic that to this day, eight years later, number one, it's the thing I'm asked about more than anything, but people are still in MAGA world, as pissed as if it was yesterday. And they keep reposting the picture. Nobody reposts that picture more than MAGA people. So I was then put on the no Fly List, the Interpol list, which is the international version of the no Fly List, the Five Eyes list, which is the ISIS terror watch list. I was out of work for six and a half years.

[B]

I say, no one would hire you for six and a half years.

[C]

One. And my agents even said the word they're using is squeamish. They're squeamish. And especially now that he's back in office. And then I did have one network. Be honest and say, we know you can do the job. We know you're an earner. We know you've made a lot of money for a lot of companies over the years, but we have middle America viewers also. And they just wouldn't have it. And that is the part that I still am kind of in shock about, like, it was a photo of a Halloween mask. But he tweeted about it, then the wife tweeted about it. And then all of MAGA world got very involved, and everyone turned on me, like, left, right, and center. It wasn't just MAGA People like Al Franken called me, and I was supposed to do a book event for him. And he broke my heart. Cause he was like, what were you thinking? I can't be seen with you. And I was just sobbing and, like, handed the phone off to my assistant. It was dark. And then I got fired on the ticker from CNN New Year's Eve. I used to do New Year's Eve on CNN with Anderson Cooper. And then he made a statement. Like, everybody felt compelled to make a statement and call me a terrorist and say that American service members were gonna be beheaded in my name and that I was a recruiting tool for isis. And this went on and goes on to this day.

[B]

Well, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

I mean, six years is an incredibly long time not to work, and it's just another testament to your resiliency. So talk about that a little bit. Like, talk about how you pull yourself out of something like that.

[C]

Well, first of all, I didn't do very well. I became addicted to pills to the point where I tried to overdose and take my life. I was on a 5150 psych hold for three days, which ended up being a good thing for. Because it got me into aa. And that's great. I went through a very, very painful divorce because I truly thought I was gonna be with this guy forever. And I got lung cancer, even though I've never smoked, and I have half a lung on my left side. I was injured during the lung cancer surgery and permanently paralyzed my left vocal cord. So I was the comedian that couldn't talk. And I had a voice like Minnie Mouse for three years. And then Sia said, you know, there's A doctor in LA, Dr. Anka Barbu, a woman of color, and she can do an implant. And I was like, what? None of the old white guy doctors? And I went to every fancy doctor in LA going, there has to be a way you can fix my voice. Oh, my God. And I went to this woman and she was like, I can fix your voice. And she goes, I can give you at least 30% more of your speaking voice. And she gave me 80% more. And then I finally got a call from the Mirage in Vegas, even though they had made a statement about Me during the Trump stuff saying, she's a terrorist. She'll never be welcome here again. And they called me for the first job offer in six and a half years and said, do you want to come back and do a show? And I was, like, crying going, yes, of course. And then I go, but wait, what happened to the guy that made that statement about me? And she goes, oh, he's dead. So now I've decided to just wait them out. And I think a lot of the resilience is just not quitting.

[B]

Well, first of all, the irony in the fact that a woman was able to give you your voice back and then a man tried to sew your mouth shut.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Is notable.

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Second of all, I would like to say, first of all, I love you. I hope you feel loved, because I would hate. I can't imagine the loneliness that you must have felt during that time, Chelsea.

[C]

Everybody dumped me. Like, 75% of my friends just headed for the hills. Just didn't return calls or would go out of their way to be, what were you thinking? And once again, you're gonna get people killed. Like it was. And by the way, they never came back. Like, when people are like, it's gotta be so gratifying when people call you and say they're sorry. I'm like, no, not one. Nobody's been like, sorry. That was kind of an overreaction. And now it's so clear because we see Trump and his machine do this to Rosie o' DONNELL last weekend. Like, when my incident happened, it was three days after Robert Mueller was appointed. I think that's why he used me as that. That deflection. I think he went after Rosie last weekend because he's on videotape with Jeffrey Epstein dancing at a party with minors.

[B]

The whole Epstein thing is so cartoonish. He has been demanding to see these Epstein files for years. He has been the one demanding, and now he's like, shut up about him. It's like, can we please just put a video of him saying, where are these files? In front of his face.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

This style of interview that they're doing is not cutting the mustard.

[C]

It's not interview. Our press is letting us down. Now, I know the good press has been excluded and they've lost their press passes. I get it. But there's gotta be some way for our press to push back harder because he is on video with Epstein at a party with minors.

[B]

This may be so ridiculous if this was the straw that broke the camel's back because MAGA isn't letting this Epstein tape go.

[C]

No.

[B]

And he's already a rapist. It's like, so what's different? Cause this is. Young girls. Like, that's their baseline. That's their line that you can't cross. You can rape, but you can't rape young girls.

[C]

Remember, they've been. What they've been feeding off is that they were so sure that Hillary Clinton and me were in the basement of a pizza parlor harvesting baby parts that if you knew how many people sent me pizza emojis in our community.

[B]

I was on Epstein island, too. I've never been. Yes, apparently. I mean, I've never been there, obviously.

[C]

Of course not.

[B]

As if.

[C]

As if. And I even made a video basically saying as if. And they're like, that's an admission. And I'm like, no, no, no, no.

[B]

That's not an admission.

[C]

I don't know where the eye is.

[B]

And if I would be stupid enough a. As if I would ever subscribe to that kind of behavior ever. People are taking advantage of young women ever, ever, ever.

[C]

Look at our body of work. It speaks for itself. Look at our outside behavior. It speaks for itself. And so I think the MAGA people are still obsessed. And I think they paid attention more to the Epstein news than things like the E. Jean Carroll trials, like the 34 counts he was convicted of. Because I know a lot of MAGA people, and I know friends that have lost a cousin to maga or I have a girlfriend who lost her son to maga and she can't even talk to him. And they are very invested in Epstein, but it's because they thought Hillary was gonna be caught red handed molesting girls with Jeffrey Epstein.

[B]

And also, why can't he just alter the list like he lies about it?

[C]

He can't. It's an Excel spreadsheet. They put Oprah's name on there, for God's sake.

[B]

But he can just edit his name off of it.

[C]

I know, but maybe the cat's out of the bag. Like, maybe this is the thing that could cause a fissure. Maybe.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, that's what it's seeming like.

[C]

I hope.

[B]

But I just don't understand why he didn't handle this differently. Why not release a list that's fake?

[C]

Right?

[B]

He lies about everything anyway. Like, polls aren't real. This isn't real. Yes, economy's doing great. Blah, blah, blah. So just make up a fake list and put it out there with Bambondi's signature and braggino or whoever these other idiots are.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Okay, we're gonna take a break and we're gonna be right back. Listen up guys. You know what's better than being a jittery mess after your third coffee? Actually functioning like a normal human being. Beyond Brew by Live Conscious is a six in one mushroom blend that won't make you trip balls, but it will give you mental clarity and focus to get through your day. Thanks to mushrooms like cordyceps and Reishi, Beyond Brew also has pre and probiotics so you'll feel less bloated and avoid seven trips to the bathroom every day. I love it because you can put it in your coffee or just mix it into hot water or milk. It also tastes great in smoothies. Look, Forbes called Beyond Brew a deliciously potent coffee alternative and 400,000 people can't be wrong with barely any caffeine. It won't have you crashing midday and at just 20 calories per serving, you'll get all the benefits and none of the guilt, unlike going to your favorite coffee chain. Plus, it comes in cacao, caramel macchiato and vanilla latte because we are not savages. Trust me, I genuinely feel better after taking this step. Your mind and body will thank you later. Go to liveconscious.com and use code Chelsea for 15% off. The secret to Glowing Skin starts in the Sea Undaria Seaweed is the not so secret ingredient in osea's best selling Undaria Algae Body Oil. Seaweed is a nutrient dense superfood packed with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that help replenish the skin's moisture barrier and keep skin looking healthy. With osea, you never have to choose between your values and your best skin. I love when skin care is clean, vegan, cruelty free. OSEA is even the climate label certified. Osea's Undaria Algae Body Oil gives you a subtle glow and major moisturization. Sourced from some of the cleanest waters on earth using sustainable seaweed harvesting practices that are gentle on the planet. Get Healthy Glowing Skin for summer with clean vegan skin and body care from Osea, get 10% off your first order sitewide with code [e-mail] you'll get free samples with every order and free shipping on orders over $50. Head to o s eamalibu.com and use code Chelsea for 10% off. Let me switch gears for a second and talk about one of our favorite sponsors, Vital Proteins. They're the number one brand of collagen peptides in the us. If you're wondering what collagen peptides are, they're essentially the key to maintaining a youthful glow. After 30, your body's natural collagen production starts to dip. And that can lead to lines, saggy skin, and joints that don't move like they used to. In other words, looking older. But vital proteins helps fill that gap. A daily serving keeps your skin healthy, hydrated, and elastic. It even supports your hair and nails. And because it's unflavored, you can mix it with anything. So your smoothie supports your skin, your coffee helps your skin, and your chocolate milkshake keeps your hair looking thick. Go ahead and get some vital proteins. You can get 20% off by visiting vitalproteins.com and entering promo code Chelsea at checkout. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I want to talk about something deeply personal. My feet. Are you excited yet? I've been wearing ultra running shoes lately, and honestly, life changing. They're now my go to for everything from runs to hikes to dog walks to airport sprints, you name it. They've got extra room up front so your toes can actually spread out and move the way that they're supposed to, which is way better than most running shoes that cram my toes together. Plus, the lower heel drop means your stride feels more natural. It's like my body finally went, oh, this is how we're supposed to move. They are crazy comfortable. And yes, they help me chase that runner's high. You know, mama loves her dopamine and feeling strong and actually wanting to work out. So if you're getting into running, getting back into it, or just want healthier feet so you can get on a feed finder, Altra is where it's at. Find [e-mail] and use code Chelsea for 10% off your order. That's a L, T R A running dot com. Stay out there. And we're back with Kathy Griffin. Okay, so let's talk. Keep talking about resiliency because you've been through a lot, as you just stated, and now you're going. You went through another divorce. How many divorces is this?

[C]

Two.

[B]

Two. So three facelifts, two divorces, one cancellation. Right.

[C]

By the way, let's just call it what it is. The cancellation, the cancellation. Like, as far as showbiz, kind of the ultimate. And it really stuck.

[B]

How do you feel about your life? Like, do. What do you think your purpose has been?

[C]

I think that this ultimately is My calling, because like I mentioned, I've been in. I've been sued seven times since the Trump photo. I think I'm the most sued comedian. I don't know about Lenny Bruce, if he was sued, because I know it was local police that harassed him and local police harassed George Carlin. But I had the feds coming after me. And so I've had many MAGA people sue me for things I tweeted.

[B]

And have any of them won these lawsuits?

[C]

Not, not one. I'm batting a thousand. My legal bills are insane. But I love my lawyers. They're brilliant. And I have big news, which is last Thursday, my last case was dismissed. So knocking on wood. And I kind of doubt a lot of MAGA people are listening to this, but hopefully no one's listening to this thinking, oh, wait a minute, I want Kathy to have a lawsuit at all times.

[B]

So when you say, back to that question, when I ask you what your purpose is and your purpose is this, when you say this, what do you mean this?

[C]

I think it's the.

[B]

To deal with lawsuits. No, I think it's.

[C]

I'm wearing my First Amendment T shirt. I think it's if I have a purpose, my number one purpose, hopefully is to make people laugh. That's always my goal. Like I said, I'm not a political comic. I'm not Bill Maher. I never was. I tell stories about the freaking Kardashians. And yet I think now my purpose is to be able to tell people what the First Amendment really is. And it's not when a private company accuses you of defamation. It's when the government, and I had the federal government. I was investigated by the Department of Justice, two agencies within the DOJ, the U.S. attorney's office and the Secret Service. And I was interrogated under oath for the crime of conspiracy to assassinate the President of the United States.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

And if I had failed that interrogation, I could have gone to prison.

[B]

So now you're working now.

[C]

I can't believe it. I did a 75 city tour. I got to play Carnegie hall again. I got to play Boston Symphony hall again. I got to play the Wiltern here in Los Angeles. Like, every show was a gift. And now I'm going back on the road in November. I'll be at Planet Hollywood November 8th. I've added more dates and I just can't wait. Every show is special. And while I lost a large part of my audience because I can't play the riverboats in the south anymore, and those did pay well. But I think I gained some, like social justice warrior types. Yeah, I'm sure you did. And when I was taping my special, which no one bought, so I'm just gonna put it on YouTube. So fine, that's the story of my life. But when I even mentioned the Trump photo as a reference point, the audience spontaneously burst into applause and I almost welled up because it was such a shock after all of the adverse, to put it lightly, adverse reaction. It was amazing to me to hear people clapping at the mention of that photo, which is not a threat. I just wanna reiterate, that photo is not a threat. I have no desire to kill the.

[B]

Oh, we've already cleared that up. That hierophant has no desire to it.

[C]

I'm not decapitating anybody.

[B]

She's not a murderer. She has no murderous aspirations.

[C]

Nope.

[B]

I want to ask you a question. From a female standpoint, do you feel respected as a standup comedian?

[C]

No, I don't. I feel like a lot of the guys don't think I'm a real comic because I don't tell traditional jokes with like a set up, a punchline. I tell stories and sometimes the story goes for two minutes, that's just a setup. And then there's seven jokes in a row. And sometimes it has a joke every 30 seconds, I don't know. But you know, I've never been on the Comedians in Cars, getting Coffee or whatever. I think there's a lot of, you know, I have a YouTube show now that I'm. It's a money losing business proposition, but I'm having a blast doing it. It's called Kathy Griffin Talk youk Head Off. Get it? But I told a story on there about the one time I went on the Stephen Colbert show because I'm such a fan of his. And he really came at me hard about the Trump head picture and tried to convince me that I had violated the First Amendment. And I walked off stage and I really did burst into tears the minute I was in the wings. And it was a pre tape and the executive producer said, I'll give you a beautiful edit. I'll give you a beautiful. And I just said to him, what was that? And he said, Stephen just couldn't get beyond the picture. Like that shocked me because I feel like especially the Colbert Report, maybe more so than his current show was all about the First Amendment. And I said to him, but Stephen, you know, that that's our commodity is the First Amendment. You know, that picture was covered. By the way, I did call my lawyer before I posted it. So people think I just posted it because I'm so stupid. No, I called my lawyer and he said, yes, it's covered by the First Amendment. Any person who's not a well known comedian could recreate that picture tomorrow. And it's covered by the First Amendment. Now, in today's environment, I don't recommend it, but it is definitely covered by the First Amendment.

[A]

But also, like on TikTok, it's not like, obviously an easy visual, but people are having that conversation every single day. You were just an early. You know.

[B]

Do you think that. Are you open to having another or taking another? Lover, husband, boyfriend? Are you done with men? What's your stand for?

[C]

I am trying to get to the done with men stage. Because the women that you and I know, Jane Fonda, Sharon Stone, the women that are like, you know what? I think women are leveling up right now. I think that we're in a phase with guys with the Joe Roganization of America and the Andrew Tate and the Curtis Yarvins going around. I'm not there yet because I was a serial monogamist and I was with this guy for 12 years. But I'm getting there, and that's where I want to be. What about you?

[B]

I'm not interested in men right now at all. I find the idea preposterous.

[C]

Okay, what is it about being without a guy that you like everything?

[B]

I like to be alone. I wanna sleep alone. I don't wanna hear you breathing. I don't wanna smell you, and I don't want breath coming towards me, and I don't want swe. Body parts on me. I haven't met a man in the last six months that I have felt like I wanna fuck this guy. Like, I was in Glastonbury a few weeks ago and I was talking to this guy and he was French, and I've known this guy for many years. And my girlfriends were like, oh, look, look, look, look. What about him? What about him? And I was like, yeah, he's not gross. And then I was talking to him. I had a couple drinks with him. We smoked a cigarette. And then afterward I was like, huh? I'm looking at him and I'm thinking, I could fuck this guy. And then I thought, no, I can't because you're fucking disgusting.

[C]

And he breathes.

[B]

There's something innately that is like. There's like, I'm having an allergic reaction to men right now. And I know that it's because of, you know, the backdrop Politically, the fact that I know, like most of the men that I'm dealing with aren't Trump supporters, but it's a bigger, larger, broader picture. It's because we're in this situation to begin with that makes me angry at men. And I'm not a man hater. I do want same. I want a man.

[C]

I'm not a man hater.

[B]

I don't to want. I want to want to be with you, but I don't want to be with you.

[C]

Right.

[B]

And I am so fiercely independent. And when I travel, since I. I mean, I know you travel as much as I do, I'm sure.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I just don't want to do that with the same person. Yeah, I want a variety.

[C]

You know, it's funny, my last tour, because I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and you can make fun of it.

[B]

Well, I can't imagine why. I mean, you tried to.

[C]

I'm a drama queen. I'm a hysterical woman. And I'm on the rag. I'm on the rag right now at 64.

[B]

Well, yeah, you're still getting your period. Everyone knows that. Why do you think your hair is so red?

[C]

Because I haven't stitched up my vagina yet. And that's the only thing I haven't done. So on the last tour, 75 cities, what I did, that was life changing. You know, I don't have an opener. I do. Two hours. And I brought a friend. Who were you?

[B]

Jo Koy?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Joe Coy.

[C]

Face off. Face off.

[B]

You take your face off. I'm just looking at our time to make sure we don't.

[C]

Now would you sleep with him?

[B]

No. No. Once I'm done with tomorrow night.

[C]

Tomorrow night?

[B]

No, not any night ever again. There's no circumstance, there's no, there is not one ex boyfriend of mine, okay, that I would ever be able to fuck again.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Once I'm done, it's a wrap.

[C]

I same and same.

[B]

No revisitation.

[C]

Even if you think about the honeymoon phase and how the sex was super.

[B]

Hot at the beginning, the information I have about all of my ex boyfriends is enough to not make me wanna have sex with them again. Yeah, you know, I'm friends with most of them, but that took a long time too, you know, I need like a 10 year break off and then when I see you, I could be like, oh, hey, and it could be cool.

[C]

Yeah, I'm friends with one, but not. Well, there was one boyfriend in between the two husbands and I'm friendly with him, but the two husbands Know, okay, so I take a babysitter with me every pod. So you know how, like, I do, I go out like three cities, then I come home for five days, then I go out and do four cities and I come home for six. So every time I would bring and I called them a babysitter and it would be a homosexual man or one of my girlfriends or a gay woman or whatever, but they would just have a coffee clutch with me in the morning, maybe do a walk, hang out backstage and just laugh. And it just helped tremendously because my. This is so bad. Both of my husbands, I made them my tour manager.

[B]

Yeah, well, hello.

[C]

I mean, I know. And everybody told me at the time and I went. And then.

[B]

You didn't learn the first time you did it again?

[C]

No, no.

[B]

What about financially? How are you financially?

[C]

I'm really good. I'm good at two things. I'm funny and I'm good with money.

[B]

Cause it feels like you've given a lot of money away.

[C]

I have given a lot of money away. And like I said, my legal.

[B]

And your legal fees and then not working for six years.

[C]

Correct, Correct. But I also was raised by depression. Parents use it up, wear it out, make it do. And I also was raised by Susie Orman, the financial advisor. And so all those years of touring and being on TV shows, I just socked it away. Socked it away. Socked it away.

[B]

And do you invest in things or do you just save your money?

[C]

I have very conservative investments, like, sure, I'll invest in Berkshire Hathaway. And I just let it sit there. I don't day trade. I don't. We trade. I don't take tips from people. My money in a third real estate, a third stocks, a third bonds. Well, I should say quarters and then a quarter cash.

[B]

Rosie was there for you when you went through your thing, right? Rosie o'?

[C]

Donnell? Yes.

[B]

Have you spoken to her since her thing? Yes.

[C]

Have you reached the. She gave me a statement to put out.

[B]

Oh, okay. When that happened.

[C]

Yes, immediately. And she wrote the perfect statement. It was funny, it was honest, and it hit him where he lived. And of course, he lost his mind. Remember, she went after him first 18 years ago when she sat on the View and said he was broke and had gone bankrupt and that ticked him off. Then you combine that with the Seth Meyers hosting the amazing White House Correspondents Dinner. And then former President Obama doing that hilarious monologue, which also, I sort of blame those two guys in a way, too, because they didn't mean to. But when I picture Trump sitting there at that table, watching Obama get those monstrously huge laughs, making fun of him and also saying stuff. That's true. And I know Donald fairly well. I don't know if you know him.

[B]

No. He came up and introduced himself to me once at one of these restaurants on Sunset Boulevard. He said, hello, Chelsea, I'm Donald Trump. I wanna introduce myself. This was before he was the president, before he ran. And I was disgusted at that moment as well. The same reaction I've always had to him, which is disappointed.

[C]

And he loves celebrities, so it doesn't surprise me at all that he would just go up and just say, as if he knows you already. Hi, Chelsea.

[B]

You should know me.

[C]

Yes, I've known him since the 90s. He hired me one time to roast him. I'm not a classic roaster, but as part of a challenge on the Apprentice, one of the challenges was put on a show, and he called me and he said, will you be the host? And I said, where is it? And he said, my club at Bedminster in Jersey. And I said, donald, I didn't want to fly all the way across the country. And I said, but if you want me to emcee. And I think he offered me $10,000. And I said, I'll do it for 50. And he did. He paid me 50. And I said, but wait, if I emcee, who's, like, the main act? And it was Liza Minnelli. So I was like, I'm in. So I will say I did get to spend the day with Liza Minnelli at Bedminster, which was an amazing experience.

[B]

What was that like?

[C]

Well, first of all, I love her unconditionally, and if she enjoys a doll, then you know what, girl? You earned it.

[B]

You kind of like a man with Legos. Women with dolls. Yeah. Yeah, Right?

[C]

Yeah. No, I mean a pill. Valley of the Dolls.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I don't mean like a demeanor. No, not an American Girl doll.

[B]

Right. I'm so sorry. That was stupid. You know what? It is, because. Because of my close relationship with pills, I just immediately disassociated from what?

[C]

You didn't even know the other name.

[B]

Because I. Yeah, doll, you're right. But that's a 60s term.

[C]

That's a Valley of the Dolls. Exactly.

[B]

But point taken. And I also would like to say, on the record, for anybody who's just tuning in for the first episode, I love dolls.

[C]

She loves dolls. And you know what? Liza deserves a doll. And I can't confirm she was on dolls that day. But she was delightful and maybe the highlight of the day was watching her take a Sharpie and put on her beauty mark.

[B]

Anyway, this podcast is about love and.

[C]

Joy, loving and happiness, positivity.

[B]

We're gonna take a break. We're gonna take a and facelifts and divorces and getting canceled. We're gonna take a break and come back with Kathy Griffin and take a call or two this week.

[A]

We'd like to hear from actors or people who work in entertainment. If you have questions about your career, life, artistic expression, write in to [e-mail] Listen up guys.

[B]

You know what's better than being a jittery mess after your third coffee? Actually functioning like a normal human being? Beyond Brew by Live Conscious is a six in one mushroom blend that won't make you trip balls, but it will give you mental clarity and focus to get through your day. Thanks to mushrooms like cordyceps and Reishi. Beyond Brew also has pre and probiotics so you'll feel less bloated and avoid seven trips to the bathroom every day. I love it because you can put it in your coffee or just mix it into hot water or milk. It also tastes great in smoothies. Look, Forbes called Beyond Brew a deliciously potent coffee alternative and 400,000 people can't be wrong. With barely any caffeine, it won't have you crashing midday and at just 20 calories per serving, you'll get all the benefits and none of the guilt, unlike going to your favorite coffee chain. Plus, it comes in cacao, caramel macchiato and vanilla latte because we are not savage. Trust me, I genuinely feel better after taking this stuff. Your mind and body will thank you later. Go to liveconscious.com and use code Chelsea for 15% off. The secret to glowing skin starts in the sea Undaria. Seaweed is the not so secret ingredient in osea's best selling Undaria Algae Body Oil. Seaweed is a nutrient dense superfood packed with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that help replenish the skin's moisture barrier and kill keep skin looking healthy. With osea you never have to choose between your values and your best skin. I love when skin care is clean, vegan, cruelty free. OSEA is even the climate label certified. Osea's Undaria Algae Body Oil gives you a subtle glow and major moisturization. Sourced from some of the cleanest waters on earth using sustainable seaweed harvesting practices that are gentle on the planet. Get healthy glowing skin for summer with clean Vegan skin and body counter care from Osea. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code [e-mail] you'll get free samples with every order and free shipping on orders over $50. Head to oseamalibu.com and use code Chelsea for 10% off. Let me switch gears for a second and talk about one of our favorite sponsors, Vital proteins. They're the number one brand of collagen peptides in the U.S. u.S. If you're wondering what collagen peptides are, they're essentially the key to maintaining a youthful glow. After 30, your body's natural collagen production starts to dip. And that can lead to lines, saggy skin, and joints that don't move like they used to. In other words, looking older. But vital Proteins helps fill that gap. A daily serving keeps your skin healthy, hydrated and elastic. It even supports your hair and nails. Nails. And because it's unflavored, you can mix it with anything. So your smoothie supports your skin, your coffee helps your skin, and your chocolate milkshake keeps your hair looking thick. Go ahead and get some vital proteins. You can get 20% off by visiting vitalproteins.com and entering promo code Chelsea at checkout. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. I want to talk about something deeply personal. My feet. Are you excited yet? I've been wearing ultra running shoes lately and honestly, life changing. They're now my go to for everything from runs to hikes to dog walks to airport sprints, you name it. They've got extra room up front so your toes can actually spread out and move the way that they're supposed to, which is way better than most running shoes that cram my toes together. Plus, the lower heel drop means your stride feels more natural. It's like my body finally went, oh, this is how we're supposed to move. They are crazy comfortable. And yes, they help me chase that runner's high. You know Mama loves her dopamine and feeling strong and actually wanting to work out. So if you're getting into running, getting back into it, or just want healthier feet so you can get on a feed finder, Altra is where it's at. Find [e-mail] and use code Chelsea for 10% off your order. That's a L, T R a running.com. stay out there. And we're back with Kathy.

[C]

We are.

[B]

It's great speaking with you. I'm really happy to catch up with you. Yes. Always.

[C]

I'm always excited to get a call or a text from you.

[B]

Yeah, well, sometimes I have to check in on you as you. I love that.

[C]

I really appreciate it.

[B]

Of course. Thank you. Of course. I just. I feel bad that I don't check in more and that you didn't have more support during that time. You know, it's really. It's just such bullshit because I've done things like that and not gotten the heat that you've gotten.

[C]

I've done things like that. Like, I thought that that picture was gonna be on a gay blog for two days. I never thought. And also, I think the photographer sold it to tmz. And Harvey Levin, in my humble opinion, is very much in bed with Trump and a maga, and he's a gay man, so I can't figure that part out. But anyway, that didn't help. So it was seismic. I know. Doesn't make sense.

[B]

It doesn't make sense. But you're here with us now. Here we are.

[C]

I am back on tour, and I'm loving my YouTube show, and I have a Patreon and a substack, and I'm just being as productive as possible.

[B]

Are you on OnlyFans?

[C]

I should be.

[B]

You definitely should be.

[C]

I have a bucket list goal. I would like to win Beaver Hunt.

[B]

Which is about a beaver.

[C]

Beaver hunt is a column in Hustler magazine.

[B]

Or is this a euphemism for pills?

[C]

Again, it's no euphemism. It's the beaver, as in shoot the beave. And it's where ladies send in a picture spreading their pussy. And it's a contest. And then every month, someone is chosen from the beaver hunt to have the best beef. And I have a bucket list, and I would like to be a beaver hunt champion.

[B]

And do you think you have a great beaver?

[C]

I think I have a shot at it.

[B]

Is it a redhead beaver?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Which, you know, there's a kink for that. There's definitely a kink for that.

[B]

That's why I'm asking. I mean, yeah, I know. I'm basically. Do the curtain match the drapes?

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah. Do the curtains match the drapes? My syntax is a little bit off lately. I think it's because of the pain pills that I'm taking from my foot.

[C]

Your dolls?

[B]

Yeah, the dolls I'm taking from my foot. Okay, Katherine, what do we have? What do we have that's gonna be fun for Kathy?

[A]

So, Diego, will be joining us here. And he says, dear Chelsea, I'm a 34 year old male who's a bit bored with life. I enjoy sitting around playing games on my phone and hanging out with people over 50 as I seem to connect with them more so than peers my age. I interned as an assistant in the entertainment industry during college for a few names you'd know and dropped out of too many law schools to count. I'm really content not working and being lazy, but it turns out I need the minimum wage to survive. Yeah, my family is well off and I grew up in the country club scene, so now I feel retired and content, which really seems to piss off people my age as well as my family. Do you have any advice for what I should do vocationally? Or do any of your fun friends need a lazy assistant? I enjoy dogs vaping, going to lunch and taking Xana. Cheers to you, Diego.

[B]

First of all, Diego, we have a ton in common. We have a ton in common. Except I fucking hustle my ass off so that I could do those things. I don't sit around on my lazy ass and just wait for Xanax and vape pens and what other fucking people over 50 and people over 50 to pop in and out of my life. I mean, you really are a lazy fuck. How old are you?

[D]

Oh, I'm 34. And yes, I admit I'm a lazy fuck. I'm the lazy as fuck.

[B]

This is Kathy, by the way. Say hi to Kathy Griffin.

[C]

Second question for you, Kathy.

[D]

Hi, Kathy.

[C]

My question is very simply, will you marry me?

[D]

Because he's my type, I will marry you. I will go down on you. I'll do whatever you need.

[B]

Well, thank you. I'm not lazy. Going down on someone is actually not lazy.

[C]

It's active. Active.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

No, no. I mean, I'm not lazy in the bedroom. I'm lazy.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Rest of your life. So if you chose not to work for the rest of your life, would that be a possibility with your family's money? Money?

[D]

God, no. So now I'm totally. Because I know both of you are Trump supporters. At least you look like it. I don't know, but he's garnishing our wages for student loans and I owe about 200 grand. So I can't call mommy and daddy and say, hey, I need 200k, can you wire it over? So I have to get my shit together. I have to. I have to pull it together and get a chance job quickly. And that's why I'm reaching out now.

[C]

Why did you keep dropping out of law school and can you go back and become a lawyer?

[D]

So I think I would rather die than be a lawyer after five law schools. I did hustle in law school, but it was just awful. It was just not for me. And I learned, you know, I learned a lot. And now I'm sort of content. I'm really content and happy. I. I was. I was miserable in law school, and now I'm happy.

[B]

Well, of course you're content and happy. You're not doing anything.

[C]

You're vaping all day.

[B]

You're vaping and taking the Xanax.

[D]

I know, exactly.

[C]

And I think might be on one.

[B]

Yeah, you're on a Xanax.

[C]

I'm just gonna say I'm actually not.

[D]

But I have one left. I have a refill soon.

[C]

I'll bet you know exactly when that refill is due.

[B]

I know when my refill is due.

[D]

My refill's due in a day. But I'm reaching out for advice. That's why I'm here.

[B]

Well, I mean, that's a long. Like a long reel to. What is the word? My word retrieval is off. I'm actually. I had some foot surgery. You can see my little foot thing here. So I'm not as sharp as I normally am because I couldn't take all my supplements and all my, you know, brain juice and all my. All my shit, I had to get off all my supplements. So my word retrieval the last couple weeks, I'm pretty disappointed in my level of mental acuity. But anyway, we're here and we're gonna talk about it.

[C]

Well, can you follow your bliss? What makes you happy in life?

[D]

So the retirement thing. I like sitting around. I don't like to do shit. That's the problem. I don't have motivation.

[B]

Yeah, we can tell that. But, like, you want us to give you a prescription to do something with your life, and you're giving us nothing to work with. You're telling us that you wanna be retired, but you also need to find a job.

[D]

Well, okay, I did entertainment, like, assistant work during college, so that's my background.

[B]

But nobody wants a lazy assistant. We've all had them and nobody wants it.

[C]

It's awful.

[B]

It's like the worst person to be lazy for is a celebrity because they're so high maintenance.

[D]

And they used to say that, like, who's that dick that just answered the phone?

[B]

So that's not your dick.

[C]

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[B]

I think you need to get. Do some soul searching first of all, before you make any move because you're clearly not gonna make one anyway. You need to like, maybe lay off the Xanax and lay off the vaping kind of titrate off of it. I know that doesn't sound like fun to you. I can see by the disgust on your face at me even recommending this.

[C]

Titrate was a good word. So your retrieval is getting out. It's getting there.

[B]

Okay, good. I just have to practice. I know, but you have to get your shit together. Like, this is not something that we can help you with. You're in a deficit and you need to get out. Pull yourself out of this. You're in a malaise. Like, you're not really functioning on a real level that you have the capability of functioning on. Like, I would almost say you have to go back to law school. You owe it to yourself to be a productive member of society, but clearly you can't do that. So why can't you go get a job in the interim at fucking Starbucks and get yourself in the.

[D]

That's what I do. I hop around with the people there. They don't like me and I get annoyed extremely easily. I get. I have very bad irritable issues with people. So I have to work autonomously. I need an autonomous job where I can be by myself.

[C]

But you don't have the motivation to be a self starter. That's the thing. You gotta have the motivation to get your ass up every day and do it.

[B]

I've never even heard anything like this. You sound like one of my nephews who wants like a get rich quick scheme but isn't willing to put in any of the work.

[D]

Well, I did hustle for so many years in school and it just.

[B]

Yeah, but then you didn't graduate, so like, what?

[D]

No.

[B]

Yeah, so that doesn't matter because you didn't get anything from that hustle. So you now are left with nothing and you need money and you need a job. So you kind of have to do. You kind of have to take your attitude of wanting to be autonomous and throw it out the fucking window and actually put a whole new personality on your.

[C]

And get along with others.

[B]

Yeah, you have to like, well. Well, why?

[D]

I try. I do try hard. But they can see through it, you know, they can see, you know, I'm not meant to be.

[B]

This isn't a real phone call. This is not a real phone call.

[A]

I do have a suggestion for like an avenue for you to explore after you do some soul searching. I have found that people I know who Are successful in business. There are some people I know who are very successful who are the most lazy people I know. And it's because they figure out workarounds to not have to work that hard. I'm not saying all business people are lazy, but there are a few I know who are, like, very successful. And I feel like you have personality. You don't want to do a lot of prep work before you go back into a job. Find something in sales. Find something in sales. Find the, like, most expensive thing that you can sell, Whether that's cars, whether that's houses, whatever, and like, go explore that and get yourself an assistant to.

[C]

Actually do all the work.

[B]

You know what would be good for sales? Air conditioning in Europe. They're gonna need it too. Cause it's fucking hot to get the.

[D]

Fuck out of the country anyway.

[C]

Great. Work on your dual citizenship.

[B]

You need to go to Europe and start selling air conditioning units.

[D]

Is that, like, legitimate?

[B]

Are you.

[C]

No, they really need it.

[B]

I mean, think about it. The entire one in Europe has air conditioning. I just came from Europe for two months. Nobody has air conditioning except for hotels. And they have. So all they're going to be doing. Because to actually install air conditioning into a house is a major, like, undertaking. It takes, like, it's like hundreds of thousands of dollars. So in the interim, people going to be buying these little units and having those units installed into their windows. So you could either sell those or you could choose to install those. And I don't know how you're going to get your European visa because you're too lazy to wait online at the.

[C]

Embassy and there is a line.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, but food for thought.

[D]

I mean, look, I'm open to it all. I'm open to it all. And I do like the sales idea. I mean, I don't know if I have the personality for it.

[B]

Well, you do have a kind of funny personality. So, like, maybe you should augment that. That, like, you do have some good qualities in your personality. So I think you have to stop talking about how lazy you are. Like, that's not going to bring. I know, I know. For. For the purpose of this phone call, it's very helpful. But for the purpose of you living your life, it's going to have a deleterious impact on everything you do. Nobody wants to be around people that are lazy. People want to be. You know, we live in an ambitious society. People want money, they want success. You are sitting here telling us you want money. You don't really care about the success. You just want the money.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

He loves retiring. He wants to retire.

[D]

I want to retire.

[B]

What about working in a retirement community?

[D]

Yeah, you know what? I have thought of that, and I think you might be right.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

And I hang out with the old people all day. I make minimum wage, which is fine.

[B]

And then move slowly transition into moving into the retirement community.

[C]

Change a couple diapers. Won't kill you.

[D]

Do I have to wipe ass? I mean, I don't know if you have to wipe.

[C]

Yeah, you have to wipe ass.

[B]

I think in the beginning you're going to have to wipe ass. But, but, but the other thing is, listen to this. This is a great idea, actually. You start working at a retirement community, and then slowly you enter that retirement community because you want to be retired. That's the lifestyle you want, Right. You want to, like, play. Do you play video games? What do you do with your downtime?

[D]

I play video games.

[B]

Right. Do you golf? No, that's too much energy?

[D]

A little bit, yeah.

[C]

He said he's a country club guy.

[B]

But he's probably online at a country club. You know what I mean? He's. Is he physically actually going to golf?

[D]

Oh, I grew up on the course, so.

[B]

Oh, okay. Well, excuse me. Okay, well. Okay. These are your two options. You are either going to start working at a retirement community or moving to Europe and selling air conditioning units.

[C]

I like the latter. It's very specific.

[D]

I think you just nailed it. I think I need to work at a retirement home.

[B]

Okay, there you go.

[C]

There you go.

[D]

I mean, I'm not even joking.

[A]

You can be the entertainment activities director.

[C]

I can't believe the air conditioning idea is. I know. What, you work down every detail.

[B]

No, but except for the visa, though. We don't have the visa.

[C]

She was gesturing, the size of the unit, everything. And she said you could install them for more money.

[B]

You could sell them or you could install them. I would believe selling them would yield a better profit margin than installing them, don't you think? So you should find out. It's like blue collar to white collar, so. But you should definitely find out. You could even talk about. I mean, you could even do the air conditioning idea here because there are plenty of. Of regions of this country that probably need air conditioning, too.

[C]

And there's retirement homes that probably have faulty air conditioning that need a fix.

[B]

This is even better. You can install air conditioning units in the retirement homes.

[C]

Win. Win.

[D]

There you go. You just got it.

[C]

You're welcome.

[D]

But if that doesn't work. If it doesn't work, I'm Marrying Kathy.

[C]

Yep.

[D]

And like, always works.

[B]

Kathy will marry you. She's proven herself to marry one idiot after another, so she is. As long as you're willing to take her money when you guys. When she divorces you.

[C]

Yeah. Promise? You promise?

[D]

I don't care about the money. I just want a peaceful life.

[B]

That's what I want. You sounds like you also want the money.

[C]

Well, I need.

[D]

I need to pay back that loan, that student loan.

[B]

Student loan that you didn't get a diploma from.

[C]

I would probably do that during the ceremony. Like, that's how bad I am.

[B]

I would get him a.

[C]

During the vows. I would just pay off the 200k.

[B]

Okay. Right. So there's three options here now.

[C]

Three.

[B]

Okay, so we.

[C]

Number three just really upped her game. I just want to.

[B]

That's actually yes. And that's kind of amalgamating all three. Well, it's not. It's a new idea. Because him marrying you, then he doesn't have to move into the retirement community and he doesn't have to do the air conditioning.

[C]

Okay. I'm happy to move into a retirement community. Like. And I'll have a baller one. Like, I'll redo it. I'll have 17 air conditioning units. All the ideas can be one.

[D]

Are you 55 yet? I don't know if you're up there or not.

[C]

I'm 64 and a half.

[D]

Oh, well, fuck. There you go. Let's move in together.

[C]

The fuck is right.

[B]

She doesn't need that yet. Do you feel chemistry with him? Kathryn, be honest.

[C]

Okay, technically, to be honest, I don't feel chemistry, but he does fit my pattern.

[D]

Once you get to the point where you need someone to wipe your butt, I can be that guy.

[B]

You just said 10 minutes ago that you don't want to wipe anyone's ass. You're a flipsy doodle.

[A]

He's growing.

[D]

Well, if I'm marrying her, then it's part of what happens in life. She's my wife.

[B]

Yeah. As a newlywed.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you gonna be faithful to me?

[D]

Yes. Yeah. Very faithful.

[B]

He's too lazy to cheat on you. I mean, honestly, where's that Takes time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I guess we've sorted your life out for you, right? I mean, it feels like that was.

[D]

Honestly, I genuinely think you did. I'm gonna start applying, and I'm not joking.

[B]

Okay, great. That was a solid call in solid, rounded advice that we gave you.

[C]

I like how you're mimicking a fake T tie. Like, almost like you're manifesting. Yourself in a suit.

[D]

The interview.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

What are you gonna do when we hang up this phone call?

[D]

I'm gonna play video games.

[C]

And what time will you take the Xanax?

[D]

I'm trying to ration. Cause I only have one left.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Maybe you can help me out.

[B]

Yeah, save that one. I got a whole bunch when I went to Europe because I was traveling. So I'm set for the next six months because I just, like, have a full supply. That has nothing to do with you. Cause I'm definitely not sharing my Xanax with you because you need more. I need you to share some gusto. You know what I mean?

[C]

He needs propofol.

[B]

Does he. It feels like he already took some.

[C]

I mean. I mean, I think he's got a little stash.

[B]

Yeah. Are you taking propofol?

[D]

I'm not, but I would be down to. I'm open to other drugs.

[C]

He's a. What do you say? Flipsy doodle.

[B]

He's a whoopsy doodle.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

He's a flip it and reverse it. Whoopsy doodle. Flipsy doodle.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

All right. Well, this was very entertaining and mind blowing. Thanks, G. It was great talking to you, Gina.

[C]

I'll see you at the wedding.

[B]

Bye. Bye. Bye. Wow.

[C]

Okay. That was a lot.

[B]

Wow. Is that a real present?

[C]

It wasn't a prank. It could have been.

[B]

I don't think it was. No, I think he was.

[C]

He had a lot of detail.

[B]

I think he's so far removed from reality that he. That was.

[C]

He couldn't even put together a prank.

[B]

That was a serious phone call. Okay. You know what I mean?

[C]

He covered many bases.

[A]

Many bases.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Although I will say he's.

[B]

While not covering any at all.

[C]

No. And being lazy and really doubling down on the. Like, you guys don't. Are not hearing me. I don't like people, I'm irritable, I have a fake tie, and I am lazy.

[A]

He sold himself a little short. He was helping his grandma move.

[B]

That would have been helpful.

[A]

I mean, maybe into a retirement home.

[B]

Anything like that would have been helpful. He needs to move in with his grandma into that retirement community. Listen up, guys. You know what's better than being a jittery mess after your third coffee? Actually functioning like a normal human being. Beyond Brew by Live Conscious is a six in one mushroom blend that won't make you trip balls, but it will give you mental clarity and focus to get through your day. Thanks to mushrooms like cordyceps and Reishi, Beyond Brew also has pre and probiotics so you'll feel less bloated and avoid seven trips to the bathroom every day. I love it because you can put it in your coffee or just mix it into hot water or milk. It also tastes great in smoothies. Look, Forbes called Beyond Brew a deliciously potent coffee alternative and 400,000 people can't be wrong. With barely any caffeine, it won't have you crashing midday and at just 20 calories per serving, you'll get all the benefits and none of the guilt, unlike going to your favorite coffee chain. Plus, it comes in cacao, caramel macchiato and vanilla latte because we are not savages. Trust me, I genuinely feel better after taking this stuff. Your mind and body will thank you later. Go to liveconscious.com and use code Chelsea for 15% off the secret to Glowing Skin starts in the Sea Undaria Seaweed is the not so secret ingredient in osea's best selling Undaria Algae Body Oil. Seaweed is a nutrient dense superfood packed with vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that help replenish the skin's moisture barrier and keep skin looking healthy. With osea, you never have to choose between your values and your best skin. I love when skin care is clean, vegan, cruelty free. OSEA is even the Climate Label certified. Osea's Undaria Algae Body Oil gives you a subtle glow and major moisturization. Sourced from some of the cleanest waters on earth using sustainable seaweed harvesting practices that are gentle on the planet. Get healthy, glowing skin for summer with clean vegan skin and body care from Osea. Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code [e-mail] you'll get free samples with every order and free shipping on orders over $50. Head to oseamalibu.com and use code Chelsea for 10% off. Let me switch gears for a second and talk about one of our favorite sponsors, Vital Protein Proteins. They're the number one brand of collagen peptides in the U.S. if you're wondering what collagen peptides are, they're essentially the key to maintaining a youthful glow. After 30, your body's natural collagen production starts to dip, and that can lead to lines, saggy skin, and joints that don't move like they used to. In other words, looking older. But Vital Proteins helps fill that gap. A daily serving keeps your skin healthy, hydrated and elastic. It even supports your hair and nails. And because it's unflavored, you can mix it with anything. So your smoothie supports your skin, your coffee helps your skin, and your chocolate milkshake keeps your hair looking thick. Go ahead and get some vital proteins. You can get 20% off by visiting vitalproteins.com and entering promo code Chelsea at checkout. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. I want to talk about something deeply personal. My feet. Are you excited yet? I've been wearing ultra running shoes lately and honestly, life changing. They're now my go to for everything from runs to hikes to dog walks to airport sprints, you name it. They've got extra room up front so your toes can actually spread out and move the way that they're supposed to, which is way better than most running shoes that cram my toes together. Plus the lower heel drop means your stride feels more natural. It's like my body finally went, oh, this is how we're supposed to be. They are crazy comfortable. And yes, they help me chase that runner's high. You know mama loves her dopamine and feeling strong and actually wanting to work out. So if you're getting into running, getting back into it, or just want healthier feet so you can get on a feed finder, Altra is where it's at. Find [e-mail] and use code Chelsea for 10% off your order. That's a L T R-A running dot com. Stay out there. Do you have time for one more call? Yes, we're at an hour, but let's. I'd love to do one more.

[C]

Okay, sure.

[A]

Okay, this one is a little more sedate. I know you have said that you've made a lot of new friends recently and of course Chelsea's always making friends. So I thought this could be a good question. So we've got Dina calling in. She's 63. Dear Chelsea, I'm writing in because your books and comedic storytelling put me in mind of a true sage, well versed in books and letters, crossed with Joan Rivers. Hope you can help me. I'm a 63 year old married woman who over the last 5 years lost all my close female friends. I either to moving away or like my two sisters in law to death. Life without these anchors feels turbulent and lonely. For the past year I've been actively trying to make new friends, doing things that interest me and hoping to connect. I'm discouraged that it takes a long time to move past the small talk. According to Mel Robbins, it takes 200 hours to make a close friend. And anecdotally, that tracks. I'm daunted. Chelsea, what would you do? Dina.

[B]

Hi, Dina.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Dina, this is Kathy. Say hi to Kathy, our friend.

[C]

Your new friend, Kathy. Oh my God. Kathy Griffin. I love you. We're friends now.

[B]

That's your newest friend?

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Thank you very much. I think you have to listen. There is no prescription to making friends. I think you have to remain open hearted, open minded. And also the pattern of people that have been in our lives doesn't necessarily resemble the pattern of people that are going to be in our lives. So like, you should always look at, you know, like, what types of people haven't you been? You know what I mean? Think about like opening your spirit more and opening your kind of the way that you look at friendships in a different way because you're at a different stage in your life and you really never know who is going to come into your life. But I don't believe your friendship making years are over. And I'm sorry that both of your sisters in law have passed away, but that's okay. You're still here and you're still vibrant and you're still alive and you're, you have an ability to have fun and have things that are in common and whatever your hobbies are. I would just double down on those things that are gonna allow you to meet people that are more that are like minded, but also be open to people. Like if you're in a coffee shop or if you're at a wine tasting or whatever it is, like, what do you do for a good time? What do you do when you wanna go out?

[C]

All of those things. Wine tasting, book club, I think go.

[B]

Up to people that you normally wouldn't go up to. Also in those situations, go up to men. It doesn't have to be romantic. Like at your age you can have a regular relationship with a man that doesn't have to be to be sexual. You should think outside of the box of what you typically expect your friendships to look like and think like, oh, this would be a nice time to have a relationship like this. And who knows what's gonna happen in any of those situations. But it sounds like you have all of the things set up for meeting more friends. I think the, the structure is there.

[C]

And that's why I wrote to you.

[B]

Because I was starting to feel a little daunted and sometimes I feel like I'm dating, I'm dating women.

[C]

Have you considered trying to win Beaver Hunt?

[B]

Have you to do what?

[C]

Trying to win Beaver hunt.

[B]

This is a contest or a competition in Hustler magazine. Hustler magazine that Kathy is interested in winning.

[C]

Anyway, sorry, it was a bucket list. Now I'm a big reacher outer, so I will cold call people. I will guilt them. I've done stuff like. And this is gonna. Maybe not the most sound advice, but I've actually met people on TikTok or the old Twitter prior to Elon. I would DM somebody and then end up meeting them in real life after, you know, you vet them and correspond with them and FaceTime with them and you're not being catfished. But how are you at reaching out? So.

[B]

So I'm a little on the shy side.

[C]

I'll admit it.

[B]

I'm not out there like Chelsea is. Are you on social media and stuff? I'm very active on LinkedIn. Okay, well, that's a great place to also meet people and reach out. You don't have to be super aggressive. You can just say, hi, I love your profile, or whatever people say on LinkedIn. I don't know what LinkedIn really is. Is that for business? Like for resumes and stuff?

[C]

For business.

[B]

To business. Yeah. So. But that's also a great way to just be casual with stuff something and be like, oh, hi, I liked your profile. What do you do in this area? Or do you live, you know, people that live in your area all but just broaden the horizons a little bit more than they are. And I think that that will yield a bigger, you know, kind of field of options.

[C]

I like that idea.

[B]

One of the things I found is I'm 63 and people my age aren't like me.

[C]

So I do think I need to.

[B]

Broaden my horizons because I'm not a mom, I'm not a grandmom, and I'm not. Right. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Same.

[B]

So you need to find. Exactly. Kathy's 64 and same thing. So I think. And also you can be friends with people that are younger. You know what I mean? Like, approach people that are younger, that kind of have that sensibility. And I think that's a good point. You're not a mom. You're not, you know, you're not all. You're not a grandmother. You're not all of these things. So. But. But don't lose hope. Be positive and be optimistic because there's a magnetism just by being those things that brings things into your life. So, like, don't forget about that. It's positive. Like, positive and happy energy and actually being present with people, you yields good things. It brings good things into your life.

[C]

And I would. I would actually consider hopping on, like, Blue sky or threads or even TikTok or Instagram, because sometimes you get to see someone's life so much that if you're comfortable DMing them, sometimes it can actually get you a friend that doesn't take 200 hours. Yeah.

[B]

What is the beaver thing you mentioned?

[C]

Oh, beaver hunt.

[B]

She wants to show her beaver and win a contest because it's red, it's.

[C]

In Hustler magazine, and it's a monthly competition. And I have what I see.

[B]

She wants to win a monthly competition as her goal.

[C]

And I believe I'm a real competitor.

[B]

I believe so. I'm sure yours is beautiful, and I.

[C]

Wish you the best of luck.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

Okay, so she's not gonna join. She's not gonna join.

[B]

On behalf of Kathy, I thank you for that compliment.

[C]

I thank you as well.

[B]

Okay, you have your marching orders. You're gonna be fine. You've already made three new friends today, so we're your friends. Be positive. Put yourself out there. If somebody's not interested in a friendship with you, don't take it personally. Nothing's personal.

[C]

And if you can't go to a place or an event where you are gonna be surrounded by people that you wouldn't normally meet. For example, like, if you're. Even if you're not a foodie, go to, like, a big food festival, and you'll just sort of be around people that maybe you wouldn't cross paths with.

[B]

That's a great idea. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. That's a great idea.

[C]

That's so nice.

[B]

That's a great idea, Kathy. That is a great idea.

[C]

Foodies, you're doing a great job with this advice.

[B]

Oh, well, we just want to help people. We want people to be happy. We want people to be happy and live their best lives. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you very much. That's why I called in. Okay. Giving her a big hug. Love.

[C]

You're a doe.

[A]

Thanks so much, Dina.

[B]

Bye. Bye, Dina.

[C]

Oh, she's going to make friends.

[A]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[C]

She's so nice.

[A]

And I liked what you said about going back to the well of people you already know and, like, you know, DMing people or texting people. Sometimes people come back into our lives when I thought maybe that friendship has run its course. But people circle back around.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Well, that wraps up another episode of Dear Chelsea, everybody. Kathy, you are an incredible guest as usual. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad to see you in person. I never see you so I love you.

[C]

I love you too.

[B]

And I love you too. And what about your YouTube special? Where can people watch your new special?

[C]

My new special is called My Life on the picture PTSD list. I'm in editing now and it'll be on YouTube and I have a weekly YouTube show called Kathy Griffin Talk youk Head Off.

[B]

Okay, great.

[C]

Love it.

[B]

Love it.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks.

[B]

Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on August 30th. And then November, November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing inside myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you.

[A]

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseipodcastmail.com find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching eercelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn LA and be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.

[B]

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[A]

This is an I Heart podcast.