Marrying Yourself with Tiffany Haddish

Summary

Dear Chelsea: “Marrying Yourself with Tiffany Haddish”

Podcast: Dear Chelsea
Host: Chelsea Handler (with co-host Katherine Law)
Guest: Tiffany Haddish
Date: July 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Dear Chelsea features comedian and actress Tiffany Haddish joining Chelsea Handler and Katherine Law for a sharp, candid, and irreverently hilarious conversation about relationships, breakups, and the art of self-love—literally and figuratively. Key themes include the unconventional path to self-empowerment, surviving heartbreak, and the modern dating landscape, all explored through listener questions, personal stories, and witty banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tiffany Haddish’s Journey: Marrying Herself

• Self-Commitment: Tiffany describes her decision to “marry herself” as a celebration of loving and committing to oneself before seeking it in others.
  • Origin: Fed up with outside pressure about her dating life, Tiffany wanted to honor and focus on her own happiness and needs first ([13:00]).
  • Celebration: She held a ceremony in Africa with friends, continues to celebrate yearly anniversaries by treating herself, and drafted a “manual” to give prospective partners so they know exactly what makes her happy.
  • Quote: “How can I expect them to make me happy if I don’t know exactly what makes me happy? ... I’ve never made a commitment to myself except, like, to fulfill my dreams, but nothing like, for, like, let me take care of you. Let me love on you.” – Tiffany Haddish ([13:12])

2. Learning Discernment & Lessons from Breakups

• Both host and guest highlight the importance of discernment, which neither claims to have mastered early in life.
• Tiffany’s Regretless Breakup Stories: Shares her wildest breakup moves—shitting in her cheating boyfriend's shoes and expertly mailing disguised sex tapes to his family ([17:25–25:00]).
  • Quote: “I’ve shitted in shoes, but I don’t regret shitting in them shoes.” – Tiffany Haddish ([17:26])
• Chelsea on Growth: Acknowledges her own growth only came later: “I didn’t get discernment until a couple of, like, years ago.” ([08:39])
• Breakup Mindset: Tiffany asserts she doesn’t dwell on breakups or attempt to cling to the past, often simply disappearing from toxic situations ([61:15]).

3. Advice Segment: Handling Relationship Dilemmas

Listener questions are read and dissected with candor, empathy, and a hefty dose of comic relief.

a. Partner Lied About Vasectomy

• A woman discovers her boyfriend lied about a vasectomy and she’s pregnant. The team advises:
  • Don’t share the news with the boyfriend until after deciding and acting on her own wishes regarding the pregnancy ([42:00]).
  • Acknowledge the betrayal and move on, emphasizing self-protection and directness.
  • Quote: “Absolutely don’t fucking tell him anything until you get that abortion. He doesn’t get to know because he’s untrustworthy. To lie about something like that, that’s crazy.” – Chelsea Handler ([42:00])

b. Rebuilding Life Post-Divorce (Miles in Australia)

• Miles, recently out of a 15-year relationship, seeks advice on loneliness and rebuilding.
• Chelsea: Encourages embracing being alone and using the time for self-growth, reminding that such periods are temporary and vital for eventual happiness ([48:22–50:50]).
• Tiffany: Shares her “wallow period” and her healing process of taking classes, engaging in activities alone, and finally, “marrying herself.” Suggests Miles find new joys, even joking, “Try a man now, see how that goes” ([52:10–53:32]).
• Quote: “For 15 years, you were always considerate of this other person ... Now it’s time to get to know you.” – Tiffany Haddish ([55:44])

c. Discouragement in the Dating World (Olivia, 35 & Single)

• Olivia describes her struggle in finding a meaningful connection.
• Team’s Guidance:
  • Write a list of desired partner qualities, put it away, and live fully, trusting that the right person will appear ([70:05]).
  • Try different approaches: be open to younger partners, explore groups/hobbies for meeting people, and even consider dating trans men ([78:17]).
  • Tiffany suggests “FarmersOnly” and shares her strategy of using Bumble in different cities for fun adventures without expectation.
  • Quote: “You’re free, you’re independent. You have all this stuff going for you ... just enjoy the time that you have by yourself. Because it won’t be forever.” – Chelsea Handler ([71:10])

4. Notable Sidebars & Storytelling

a. Maternal Instinct Documentary Tangent

• Mid-advice, the hosts embark on a recap of a wild true crime documentary, dissecting the levels of delusion and denial in the American heartland ([33:02–39:00]).
  • Memorable Outburst: “The level of dumbassness in this country is astonishing.” – Chelsea Handler ([35:41])

b. Financial Empowerment Between Women

• Chelsea recalls helping Tiffany review her bank statements, encouraging more transparency between women about money ([30:13–32:01]).
  • Quote: “That’s not the right balance. Something has got to change.” – Chelsea Handler ([30:44])
  • Tiffany responds: “No exploitation without compensation. That is something I picked up well through discernment.” ([10:56])

c. Modern Dating App Observations

• Tiffany details her approach on Bumble: setting clear expectations with men, valuing fun experiences over romance, and learning from every interaction ([73:45–76:06]).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments by Timestamp

• On discernment:
  “It’s kind of shocking when you do achieve discernment. You’re kind of like, wow, I was really fucking stupid before.” — Chelsea Handler ([08:49])

• On marrying herself:
  “I invited my best friends and we went to Africa and I had a ceremony and married me ... Every year on my anniversary, I take me somewhere nice and buy me flowers ... I do all this nice stuff for me that I would want my man to do for me.” — Tiffany Haddish ([13:52])

• Self-empowerment in dating:
  “If we’re telling you like we’re self-empowered, that means ... if you’re not following the manual, then you’re not gonna get to stay with us.” — Chelsea Handler ([14:53])

• On breakups:
  “Yeah, I’ve been a little bit of a stalker myself. Once or twice.” — Tiffany Haddish ([30:11])

• Ghosting & boundaries:
  “Mute his ass ... You’re not supposed to see me no more, you’re a ghost. Boom. Bye.” — Tiffany Haddish ([85:37])

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Advice Highlights (Listener Calls)

Timestamped Key Segments

• [13:00–15:30]: Tiffany’s self-marriage journey and writing a “manual” for future partners.
• [17:18–25:17]: Tiffany’s infamous revenge story involving a cheating ex, duct tape, and VHS tapes.
• [32:30–43:19]: Advice for listener deceived about contraception; riffing on truth, betrayal, and next steps.
• [47:51–59:52]: Miles, rebuilding after divorce; embracing solitude, new activities, and self-discovery.
• [66:10–87:01]: Olivia’s dating woes; strategies for dating with intention, exploring new avenues, and the wisdom of letting go of anxious expectation.

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Tone & Approach

• Candid, Unfiltered, Empowering: The conversation is frank and frequently hilarious. Both Chelsea and Tiffany intertwine pointed advice with personal anecdotes and playful, earthy humor.
• Supportive & Encouraging: Even while roasting idiocy (their own and others’), they consistently return to themes of self-love, agency, and gratitude.

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Conclusion

This episode expertly blends outrageous, confessional comedy with practical advice and emotional wisdom. Tiffany Haddish’s stories and honesty anchor much of the show, while Chelsea Handler’s sharp observations and Katherine Law’s thoughtful prompts create a space where vulnerability feels not only permissible but empowering. If you’re navigating heartbreak, confusion in the dating world, or simply looking for a morale boost, Dear Chelsea as always, delivers a ride through laughter and genuine insight.

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Want Chelsea’s advice? Write in at [e-mail] Find more at chelseahandler.com or catch the full video episodes on Netflix.

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Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Tiffany Haddish]

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[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

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[Tiffany Haddish]

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[Tiffany Haddish]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

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[Chelsea Handler]

dates for the High and Mighty tour. In August, you can find me in Red Bank, New Jersey, Montclair, New Jersey, and Calgary. That's Canada. And September, I will be in Santa Barbara, San Diego, New York City, Philly, and New Haven, Connecticut. October is Atlanta, Baltimore, Saginaw, Michigan, Pittsburgh, Toronto, Boise, Idaho, and Spokane. And then in November, I'll be in San Francisco. I'm coming to Salt Lake City, Austin, Houston, Dallas, babies, I'll be there. And then in December, I am closing out my tour in Denver and Vancouver. So get your [e-mail] for the high and Mighty tour. Hi, Katherine. Hi, Chelsea.

[Katherine]

How is the handsome Spaniard situation over there?

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I don't know. I'm so focused on my studies, you know, that I'm not even looking at men. You know me. When I have one focus of attention, it is to learn more.

[Katherine]

The consummate student.

[Chelsea Handler]

Estoyaqui para aprander no me interesa en los hombres. Oh, sta manana. Until tomorrow. That is where I'm actually being set up with a man. So we'll see how that goes.

[Katherine]

Nice.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Katherine]

We'll check back next week.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I'm going for a little aperitivo.

[Caller / Guest]

How was your.

[Chelsea Handler]

Como te fue el vacacion?

[Katherine]

Muy bien. Muy lindo. Estabamos en la piscina todo el tiempo. We were just floating in the pool the entire time and did almost nothing. It was really lovely.

[Chelsea Handler]

Don't they?

[Caller / Guest]

Please stay.

[Katherine]

Playa Mujeres and Circa de Cancun. So Playa Mujeres near Cancun. And it was really lovely.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it hot?

[Katherine]

You know what? I was worried it was gonna be, like, muggy and crazy, but it actually was quite comfortable. Like, during the day, you definitely wanted to be, like, in the pool, in the water. But, yeah, the evenings were, like, fine, and it was really. It was really delightful.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

That's nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's nice.

[Katherine]

It was just, like, full relaxation. Yeah.

[Advertisement Voice]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I have to say, Madrid is one of the most special cities I've ever spent time in. I've been here for now for two weeks, almost. Estoy saliento an sabado. El Sabado. And I've been going to school every day like a good little girl with my. I have people in my class. It's very cute. I go from 9:30 to 1:00pm and then I go and I take myself to some ridiculous meal where I drink white wine and eat the freshest fish. They fly the fresh fish into Madrid every day. There's fires everywhere, unfortunately.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Yeah. What's the deal?

[Katherine]

What's going on with that?

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't know. There's fires everywhere in Europe, but this air is pretty bad. It's like you can feel it when you're walking around. But I'm just enjoying my life. Like Eloise at the Plaza. I'm staying at a really beautiful hotel. I already have set up, like, all these doctors close to me. I get my back cracked. I get dry needling. I'm like, I'm just living my best life until I have to come home. And, yeah, it's pretty exciting. I'll see everybody in Montclair or no Red Bank.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Red bank is sold out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Montclair. And then I have Calgary on the

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

13th of August, I believe.

[Chelsea Handler]

Or the 14th or the 15th. It could be any one of those days. Yeah, it's one of those days. Yeah.

[Katherine]

Go to Chelsea handler.com to find out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I'm coming back on tour. I'm back and on track. This has been my. The reprieve, my respite.

[Katherine]

I can tell you're rested. Yeah, I can tell you're rested and restored.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've been sleeping a lot.

[Katherine]

Good. That's excellent. Our guest was so fun this week.

[Caller / Guest]

Oh, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's one of my favorites. She's been one of my favorite friends for so many years. And I think she's coming to my house in Mallorca next month. So that's going to be really fun because I don't think we've ever vacationed together. But she is a comic, she's an actress, and she's a star of the upcoming Haunted Heist, which is in theaters now. Please welcome Tiffany Haddish.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, I look cute.

[Chelsea Handler]

It reminds me of your Bat Mitzvah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

What reminds me of the sls, though?

[Chelsea Handler]

Your Bat Mitzvah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

My stuff is totally perfect.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was really cute. That was a party that I'm glad I really didn't miss.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I'm glad you didn't miss it either, because that was the best party ever.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was. It was a great party. Who did I sit with? Billy Crystal.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Billy Crystal and his wife.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And they were so proud of you. It was like they were your parents. It was so sweet.

[Tiffany Haddish]

That's my auntie and uncle.

[Chelsea Handler]

Who did I go to that. Who did I go to your party with? Sarah Silverman.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yes. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was a Jew parade. There were a bunch of Jews parading around.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Mitzvah. It's supposed to be a bunch of Jews.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And a bunch of black people, too. It was the perfect blend. It felt like civil rights.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're here to promote your new movie, which is called Haunted Heist. It's on video, on demand. First of all, I was watching a bunch of your stuff in the last couple weeks. You like a fucking murder mystery, don't you?

[Tiffany Haddish]

I do.

[Chelsea Handler]

You love that shit. You like to. You were a detective, like, three different times.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I was like, uh, I love. I wanted to be the police. You know, I slept with so many.

[Chelsea Handler]

So many police officers.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And I want to be the police. I do love.

[Chelsea Handler]

Have you slept with a lot of police officers?

[Tiffany Haddish]

I have.

[Chelsea Handler]

How many do you think?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Probably four.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't think that I've ever slept with a police officer. Was that to get out of something?

[Tiffany Haddish]

No, no.

[Chelsea Handler]

To get into something.

[Tiffany Haddish]

To get something out of it. And one of them turned into a judge. Went from police, lawyer, judge.

[Chelsea Handler]

And did you ever get something out of it from them?

[Caller / Guest]

Nah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking. I got.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I got some life lessons, and I picked up some character traits, and I'm able to, like. I picked up discernment.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's right. I've also picked up discernment. And later, in my later years. I didn't get discernment until a couple of, like, years ago.

[Caller / Guest]

Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's pretty recent.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Right.

[Caller / Guest]

Same thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's kind of shocking when you do. When you do achieve discernment. You're kind of like, wow, I was really fucking stupid before.

[Tiffany Haddish]

The stupidest.

[Chelsea Handler]

And no one would ever look at me or you and think that we are easily taken advantage of. But I have been taken advantage of by friends, by lovers, by so many people. And not that I'm a victim. I'm not saying that, but just like you would think I would be smarter than that, and I'm not.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, well, I am a victim. I am a victim. And the victim side of me has taken all that, all that energy and mutated it into something good.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. Well, things are going really well for you now.

[Tiffany Haddish]

They're going okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, they're going well. They're going well. All right, I'm going to say they're going, well, and then that's going to. We're going to invite in the positivity.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah. Well, you know, the door is wide open for all positive. I'm like this for the positive, and I'm bending out with you from the negative.

[Chelsea Handler]

You started off this year with your Sports Illustrated cover, which was badass.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you were so excited. And Tiffany, with full disclosure, was one of my first dinner guests at my house when I had to christen it with good vibes.

[Katherine]

Nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

Tiffany, my friend Sarah, my friend Jane. Jane Fonda was here, and then Yamaneka was here, but she was in a real fucking funk that night. So luckily we were like, get the fuck out of here. She came downstairs to meet Jane, and she had a migraine, and she didn't even acknowledge Jane. She sits down and she just, like, looks up, and Jane's like, hello. So that was ridiculous.

[Katherine]

Someone had to bring the bad vibes.

[Chelsea Handler]

But, yeah. So you helped Kristen my new house and put it in the good vibes.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Good.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I want to talk about your Sports Illustrated because I know you were so proud of that, and I was so proud of it when you told me, I was like, wow. And then I saw it all the time. Like, you guys did a Runway show.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do they make you do all of this stuff when you're on the COVID

[Tiffany Haddish]

They don't make you do it, but they definitely would like for you to do everything. And there was so much more. I didn't do everything that they wanted because everything comes with the big check.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I'm Tiffany motherfucking Haddish.

[Chelsea Handler]

Tiffany likes to get paid for everything.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah. Yeah. I do want to be paid. I want to be compensated. No exploitation without compensation. That is something that I picked up well through discernment.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, we both did a charity event the other night for Jane, and we didn't get paid for that. Unless you had a side hustle going that I don't know about.

[Tiffany Haddish]

We did not get paid for that, but I feel like there was compensation in that because we get the friendship of Jane Fonda, and that is very valuable. Like, I mean, she changed the light switches in my house so that I could have dimmers.

[Chelsea Handler]

She did.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

We went over that night.

[Caller / Guest]

Yes.

[Tiffany Haddish]

She said, it's too bright in here. You need dimmers. And she sent a very sexy electrician over, and he came through and he changed my switches.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

Jade is amazing.

[Katherine]

And thinking you meant, like, she's in there with the screwdriver.

[Tiffany Haddish]

No, no, but she said the very.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's just amazing.

[Tiffany Haddish]

That's what real friends do.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, I know. She. It's amazing to me how much shit she gets done every single day. Like, she is tireless. I've never seen anybody like that.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I think she stares at the wall. Have you heard this new, this thing? It's new to me, but it's probably as old as time. But when you take a break, like actually take a break, like, don't do anything. Don't pick up your phone, don't look at pictures or nothing. Just stare at the wall or just stare at a tree, but just stare at something for like 10 to 20 minutes. Like empty your brain out.

[Chelsea Handler]

Just stare at something and then start again.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And then start again.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that's like meditation. Like a meditation almost.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And I think she does that because I feel like she does it in the middle of conversations sometimes. I feel like I'm telling her a story and she's like,

[Chelsea Handler]

I've seen. I've definitely seen her look at you like that for sure. Okay, so you got married to your. You got married this year?

[Tiffany Haddish]

To myself, yeah. Last year, was it the year before?

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't know.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I mean, it's a two year anniversary. It's coming up. It's. It's in August.

[Chelsea Handler]

How did you decide to do that?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Well, I just was really realizing, like, okay, so everybody's like, tiffany, who are you with? Who you with? Who are you dating? And that kind of bothered me. I don't like that because I remember before fame, nobody cared who I was dating. I could be whatever kind of whore I wanted to be and nobody thought about it, nobody asked questions about it. And then I started like, I'm dating these different guys and like, they all want to be with me so bad, but then I'm not wanting them like that. And then they're not like, really serving me. And then I'm like, how can I expect them to make me happy if I don't know exactly what makes me happy? And how am I going to make a real commitment if I'm not making any commitment? I've never made a commitment to myself except, like, to fulfill my dreams, but nothing like, for, like, let me take care of you. Let me love on you. Like, I've never really committed like that except for, I guess when I got married for real life to a man and then I had to foreclose on him. That didn't work out. That did not work out.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, it didn't. But I learned.

[Tiffany Haddish]

But Discernment came with that lesson.

[Chelsea Handler]

So how did you celebrate your wedding to yourself?

[Tiffany Haddish]

So, so basically, I invited my best friends and we went to Africa and I had a ceremony and married me. And then we danced a little bit, ate some food. And now every year on my anniversary, I take me to like, the Bel Air Hotel or I take me somewhere nice and that has a Jacuzzi. And I basically buy me flowers and I do all this nice stuff for me that I would want my man to do for me. And I made a manual, basically. And I'm about to. I think I kind of want to publish it, but then I think that might be too much, but I'm going to give it to the guy that I think is the guy and be like, this is all the stuff you got to do to just make me happy. This is how you win me over. This is how you can, you know, get whatever you want out of me. This is how you win.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what's really annoying is when you tell people directly what you want, especially men that you're dating, if you tell them directly what you want and they don'. Follow that. Like, you're like, that's why we're putting

[Tiffany Haddish]

in a manual with sketches and stuff. And then like Ikea. And if you can't do this, then we wasn't supposed to be together. You can't put this. You can't put this together.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly. It's like, listen, if we're telling you like we're self empowered, that means we're. We need that in order to stay with you. So if you're not following the manual, then you're not gonna get to stay with us.

[Caller / Guest]

Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is a very frustrating thing. Being direct is like, sometimes you think I want to ask you a question. I know you've had a lot of breakups. Like, I've.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I just went off on somebody earlier today on the way here. On the way here. That might be why I came so early.

[Chelsea Handler]

First of all, I've never seen you early in your life. So it was quite shocking and destabilized my last interview.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Wait, wait, wait. I'm always early if I think it's work. If it's work, I will show up.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is true. Yes, yes, yes. And social.

[Tiffany Haddish]

If it's social, I'm hindering. I'll get there when I get there. Bitch, we hanging out.

[Chelsea Handler]

What did you do? What happened today?

[Tiffany Haddish]

So this guy that I've been talking to that lives in New York, we've been talking for a while and we ended up, hooking up. And I didn't enjoy it. I didn't enjoy it. I just didn't. And. But I like him as a person. But then just the more he would talk to me, the more I just don't want to talk. You know, like once you have sex with somebody and if it's bad or it's not necessarily bad, it's just not good enough for me. It's just like, yeah, I don't want to. I don't want to be bothered. Yeah, I don't want to be bothered. And now maybe this sex happened like two years ago, it hasn't happened since, but I still be like entertaining the conversation. And so I'm like, look, I can't keep entertaining this no more. Like, I'm not into you. I'll never be into you. You ain't seen me naked in a long ass time. I don't want to see you naked. Like. And he's a beautiful man. But just don't, don't, don't be putting your hopes on me. I hope you got other girls you talking to.

[Chelsea Handler]

See, this is the difference between women and men is that we will, I will put out a flame on behalf of the other person. Like, what you're saying is, you're like, I don't wanna give you any false hope. Right? Whereas men wanna keep women lingering around so they don't definitively tell you when they're not interested. Whereas we're not trying to waste anybody's time. I don't wanna break your heart if you're into this and I'm not into this. I wanna just cut you loose and be respectful of another person.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

It'd be nice if everyone behaved that way.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah. Yeah, well. Cause it's like. Well, to me, I think they do. This case, this one that I really wanna be with, don't wanna give me no ass today. Maybe this one that I kinda like, which is cool. I get it. I have dudes, you know, that's just like, you know, if I need some, I'll give you a call. But it's not like I don't want to be. I don't want to be your thing. I don't want to be your main person.

[Chelsea Handler]

What is the lowest thing that you've ever done during a breakup?

[Tiffany Haddish]

The lowest?

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, do you have. Do you have a regret? Any regrets about the way you've handled a breakup?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Nah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Tiffany Haddish]

I mean, I've shitted in shoes, but I don't regret shitting in them shoes. I have, I have made Sex videos. Made copies of the dude sex tape that he had with the bitch that he was cheating on me with. I didn't regret that at all.

[Chelsea Handler]

You got videos of the affair?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

How did you do that?

[Tiffany Haddish]

He had. He's stupid. He was stupid. He, he, he was dumb as fuck. So, okay, so he was trying to film me. He wanted to film me and him having sex. This is we 21 years old. He wanted to film us having sex together. And I was like, no, no, I don't want to do that. And then one day, this is like a few days after my birthday, I wanted to film it. I'm like, let' okay, let's do this. I've been thinking about it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

You know, we only be young for so long. We need to capture our bodies the way they are now. And I say, so good. Yeah, this is gonna be great. And I grab the camera and I start to push record. When I grabs the camera and it was on top of the tv, he yanks the camera from me, scratches my face. I still got a scratch on his cheek from it. And he takes the tape out, goes outside in the rain, throws the tape in a dumpster. So I'm like, what the hell is on that tape? Right? So I play dumb or whatever. We start making out, like, ooh, my stomach's making weird noise. Let me go to the bathroom right quick. I go to the bathroom. I wait like 20 minutes in the bathroom, just staring at the wall, deciding how I'm gonna murder this motherfucker. And then I was like, okay, I'm not gonna commit murder. I got a long life to live. I don't wanna do that. But I'm gonna go in that dumpster. So I tell him I'm sick. I'm really sick. I cannot do this. I gotta go home and I get in my car and I drive about three blocks away, come back around, park about a half a block away from his place, walk down, go down into the garage area where the dumpsters are, and I get the dumpster diving. It's raining too. It's nasty.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's outside the dumpster diving.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah. And it's raining and it's raining and I'm out there, I find the tape. Okay, I needed one of those adaptive VHS tapes to see what was on there. Cause it's a little hiatus. So I drove around till 3 o' clock in the morning to every drugstore, Walmart, I mean, everywhere, Kmart, Target. I was driving everywhere. Cvs. I don't even think CVS existed then. I think it was Savon's and Walgreens. Girl, I was driving out there trying to find that damn adapter. And then I remembered that my homegirl, Anna. Anna had the same video camera that he had. I had to start going into my memory, like, who do I know? They got cameras. Who do I know? Like, literally when I tell you I was sitting in my Geo Metro, trying to manifest the thoughts, trying to find, like, I was trying to find the knowledge. And then I was like, ooh, Anna. Anna has the same Sony camera. So I called Anna, like five in the morning, and I said, anna, I will bring you whatever alcohol beverage you want, whatever weed, tobacco, whatever you need, I will bring it to you right now if you let me borrow your camera for a couple of days. And she said, what do you need it for? I said, girl, I got this, this acting project I'm trying to put together. And she said, okay, yeah, just bring me. Just bring me like a six pack and some six. I said, all right, bet. What brand you want? Got her the brand. Got her the six. I got her some black and miles, and I got her a fit the weed. I was not playing, ok, Brought all that. And she gave me the camera and I went home. I was home probably about. About seven in the morning. I plug up the camera, I put the tape in there, I rewind it all the way to the beginning before I push play. I push play. And then I hear me going, oh, come on, let's make a movie. We making this movie. We gonna be so sexy. Our body's gonna look so you know this. And then it cuts to. It cuts to him saying, no, that's not how Tiffany do it. When you do it, you gotta do it like this. This how Tiffany do it. And da, da, da. And like, he's telling her he's basically teaching this bitch all my moves. And then they're like. And then it's dark, it's dark. And then all of a sudden the picture comes up and he's blowing this girl's back out and he ain't got no condom on. And I watched it probably 50 times. I was so hurt. And I wanted to destroy this man's soul because it was killing my soul. It was like, oh, it hurts so bad. So I went ahead and went down to the swap meet and I had got that movie, Charlie's Angels on bootleg. And I was like, I'm gonna watch this. It's gonna make me feel better, right? So I was watching that and then he called me and was like, what's up? How you feeling? You feeling better? I was like, nah, I'm still sick. But the more sick I get, the more I just think. I don't think we should be together no more. I won't break up with you. I told him I won't break up with him. He told me, I'm crazy. You tripping. He come banging on my door. I don't answer the door. And then he leaves. He leaves, like, flowers and stuff at the door. Like, you need you stop tripping. And then his mama called me, his aunties called me, his grandmama called me. They all tell me I'm crazy. I got a mental. You break up with him. This man loves you. He'll do anything for you. And I'm like, that's bullshit. That's bullshit. But, you know, I, I. I still want to honor him, you know? But they kept on pressing me, kept pressing me, and it was pissing me off how they was pumping this man up. And I started looking at me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Did you tell them the truth?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. I just said, I like this.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like when women aren't reacting and they hold onto their evidence and then decide when they're going to.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I just said to him, you need to talk. Because his sister warned me. His sister two months before told me, you know, my brother cheating on you. You know, my brother be sleeping with the neighbor girl, like, every time you leave from over here. When my mama go to work, he be with the neighbor girl, this little Jamaican girl. So, you know, he don't, you know, he be cheating. And his sister was like, eight. And I'm like, this little girl lying. This little girl just don't want me to be with her brother or whatever. But then I just start thinking about it. It like, man, she's always attached to me. She's like, she, the girl always wants to play with me, laugh with me. Like that. I don't think she. They don't start being like, she might not be lying. So then I ask him, and he's like, she's making that up. I don't know. Where'd she get that from?

[Caller / Guest]

So.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And I want to believe him. I'm 21. I'm stupid. Fully done.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

So whatever he say, I believe. But after I saw that video, yes. So then I got so mad. I got so mad, and I got so in my head, and I had my homegirl come over and watch with me. I said, what you think I should do? I think I'm gonna destroy this Man. She was like, did you break up with him? I said, yeah, we broke up. And I'm like, his family keep harassing me. But it's really bothering me. I just really want to destroy him. Like, I feel like he's destroyed me. And she said, do it. Do what you think is right. And he had left some shoes in my house. So I doodled in those shoes. I ate corn. I doodled in them. But before that, I went ahead and got a bunch of blank VHS tapes. This is the early 2000s, by the way. And I took that Charlie's Angels movie, and right in the middle of the Charlie's Angels movie, I put his sex tape. And I made enough copies for every single family member that called me and told me, this man, love you. And for Christmas, I sent it to every single one of those family members.

[Chelsea Handler]

And did you tell them it was imperative to watch the movie? Cause what if they weren't interested in Charlie's Angels?

[Tiffany Haddish]

No, no, I did not say it was imperative. Either they watch it or they don't watch it. And right in there, I put Corn's Angel. His name was Cornelius.

[Chelsea Handler]

His name was Cornelius. Well, you missed that part. That's an important part of the story for you. Eating corn and then taking a sha doobie in his shoes. This is a strong play.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Very strong move. This is another level of breaking up.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Actually, I wrote about that in my book, and I named him Titus in the book, so his name is Titus. Middle name Cornelius.

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

Do learn about Devato. Visit devato.com or call 1-877-8-448872. Have you had nice breakups with men?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, pretty much most of my breakups have been pretty nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's nice.

[Tiffany Haddish]

But they all turn into a little bit of a stalker for a little bit. For a little bit. And then they get over it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, men can be like that. They don't.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And I could too. I might have been a little bit of a stalker myself.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Like once. Once or twice.

[Chelsea Handler]

I went through a phase like that.

[Caller / Guest]

Once.

[Chelsea Handler]

Tiffany and I. This is a story. Tiffany and I. I don't remember where we were or what we were doing, but we were backstage, we were doing something and she was like, you were like, come over here. And you were talking about. We were talking about how much like we pay for other people and family members and stuff like that. And she's like, I need you to come over here and look at my bank account balance. And she's like, does this seem right to you? And I remember being like, no, this does not seem right for the amount that you are working.

[Tiffany Haddish]

This is the not the right balance.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I was like, something has got to change.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, that was. Well, that's because I really admire you and I feel like you should know. Like you can see my career better than I can see my career. And I'm like, you tell me what you think this, if this is right. Because I feel like this is wrong.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it wasn't.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm just thinking too highly of myself or maybe I'm just going extending myself too much. And so I was like, can you tell me if this is right? And you look at them numbers and you said, nah, bitch, this is wrong. When you were doing your game show. Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

When you were doing your game show, she was working, like, five shows a day. Tilt filming. Like, yeah. And I was like, there. No, no.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

We all need. I know. Well, women especially need an education in finance.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I feel like it was so important for us to talk about that, though. Like, and I think women, we don't talk about that with each other. Men do. And they're like, yeah, man, I'm getting paid this. So then they know what to go ask for, but we don't do that. So in that moment, that's when I decided I'm finna start asking my friends that I think is successful. And I know it's doing well from my point of view, what they see in this. Cause maybe I'm tripping. And so. And you've been so good with that.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're the best. Thank you.

[Tiffany Haddish]

With that, you definitely, like, no, bitch, you broke right now. That's not. That's not. We need to make some phone calls. Somebody is stealing from you. Wait, let me see what it is.

[Chelsea Handler]

It seems like you've repositioned yourself.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I did.

[Chelsea Handler]

You have different management. You have different people around. It seems like everything is moving in the right direction.

[Tiffany Haddish]

It is.

[Caller / Guest]

It is.

[Chelsea Handler]

I noticed. I noticed. Okay, we're gonna take some callers. Are you ready to give some advice?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yes. We have to. We're all good at advice.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. I know.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Feels like I'm discerning.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know.

[Katherine]

Since you got discernment, this one is really juicy, so.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, we love juicy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let's go.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I love a good juicy.

[Katherine]

Yes. Dee says, dear Chelsea, I started dating my boyfriend about four months ago before we slept together for the first time. We had a conversation about contraception. And I. I explained to him that I wasn't on birth control because my body doesn't react well to it. He said that it was no issue at all because he'd had a vasectomy. He already had two kids from his previous marriage and doesn't want any more. So he said he'd made the decision to get snipped, or so I thought.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, this is like that documentary on Netflix, the Maternal Instinct Woman who had a. Did you see it?

[Tiffany Haddish]

I was like, the.

[Chelsea Handler]

Can you believe? First of all, break. Stop down for a second because we need to discuss that maternal instinct.

[Katherine]

I haven't seen it yet.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, it's good. Ok. Oh, it's good. I couldn't take my eyes off of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

The level of white trash in this country And I. Listen, I don't use that term loosely, but the level of miseducation, like, this guy couldn't even string a sentence together. He couldn't even put the right tenses together.

[Katherine]

So what's he.

[Caller / Guest]

What's.

[Katherine]

What's the premise?

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, sorry, sorry, I'm getting. I'm too upset about the grammar. I just couldn't believe the dumbassness of these people. It's like, no wonder we have fucking Trump in office when people like this are just wandering around our country. So the premise is, do you wanna take it?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Woman, two kids already meets handsome cowboy type dude.

[Caller / Guest]

Not that handsome. Okay?

[Chelsea Handler]

Not worth it.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I was dtf. Anyways, she wants to lock him in now. She's had ectopic pregnancies before and had her tubes removed. Okay? Tubal ligation, like she removed it, okay? No, no, they had to take the whole uterus. Hysterectomy, okay? She had a full hysterectomy. She dating this dude. She trying to trap him, okay? She tells him, okay, after a few months, a day, not even a whole year, that she's pregnant, okay, she starts pretending to be pregnant. And her family is letting this lie. This woman done told a thousand lies. Her family is not saying nothing. They. She had a gender reveal, a baby shower.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, my God.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Nobody's in her family saying nothing because she got something over their head or whatever. A few people here and there saying something. One of the.

[Chelsea Handler]

His family is starting to get suspicious.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah. And the mama, the mama, his mama calls up to the. Or one of the friends or her sister. Somebody in this family calls the doctor's office. Cause it's a small town, right? The doctor's office see her posting stuff on Facebook, talking about baby on the way, all this stuff.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's the doctor's office that gave her the hysterectomy.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And they're like, the fuck no. She not having no baby. Nowhere else she having a baby, right? And one of the family members called and they're like, they can't because of hipaa. They can't say she had a hysterectomy, but they saying double ch. I would pay attention if I were you. Like, they can't tell that this woman that had a hysterectomy, but. And they can't say that she can't get pregnant because who knows? God makes miracles. But no, right, right. So what she do? What this crazy bitch do? She pretend like she pregnant. She. She just a big girl, right? But then I guess she put a little fake belly on. But how you hitting that, sir? How you having sex with this woman?

[Chelsea Handler]

This is what is so dumbassness.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, like I'm not. I don't see a foot pushing through the belly. Nothing like babies.

[Chelsea Handler]

The level of some assness in this country is astonishing.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I'm thinking she ate milk. Maybe she lactose intolerant. And you know how when you eat milk, you can feel that rumble. He like, she like feel my belly, fill my belly.

[Advertisement Voice]

That's right.

[Chelsea Handler]

She had a fake pregnancy suit on that she ordered. But like at some point the husband or the boyfriend would see her naked or have sex with her or see her walking to the bathroom.

[Tiffany Haddish]

No, but he'd be like, he's a pig farmer, dude. He's a pig farmer.

[Katherine]

That's what I mean.

[Tiffany Haddish]

So he ain't even if you ain't a pig. He don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he'd be like. Like, I didn't know she had she been she. He'd be like, I didn't know she been expected. Like the. Like the sentence structure was. I couldn't even get past the language. But people talk like this.

[Tiffany Haddish]

No, he talked. They talk like he's like, I don't know how in the hell she was. I didn't. She said she's expected, so we expected like it just sound very slavish. It's like borderline slavery. Slash like overseer type. It's just bad. Yeah, it's just bad grammar. Bad everything. And she basically went and befriended this woman that she befriended. Took pictures of this woman at her wedding and everything. She's a photographer too. The woman's a photo. The lion ass bitch is a photographer. Okay. Took pictures of her friend at the wedding, at her friend's baby shower, at her friend's party. Go over to her friend, girl, let's have tea less whatever. I come kicking with my friend and all the other friends and the friend is very pregnant and now she's 10 months and everybody's like, hey, you 14 days behind your due date. What's up with the.

[Chelsea Handler]

Everyone has like. Even the mother of the guy was like, hey, we don't trust this woman. We don't think she's pregnant. We don't believe she's pregnant. She passed her due date by like a month. Which is like, are you an elephant? That doesn't happen. Right, right, right. And then. So they're telling him and he's like,

[Tiffany Haddish]

no, she says he's pregnant. And then, and then this bitch go over to the homegirl house, right when everybody go home to work and stuff. And her baby in there sleep. Her daughter in there, sleep. This bitch come over early in the morning, kills her friend, slices her baby out of her belly, okay? Leaves her on the floor, takes the baby, starts driving erratically like she headed to the hospital. Cause she done told her husband or her boyfriend to meet her at the hospital. Cause she having a baby.

[Katherine]

She had the baby in the car.

[Chelsea Handler]

She pretended she had the baby in the car. And so the baby still had the umbilical. Umbilical cord on. But everyone had been kind of red alerted in this town. The hospital and the police both because they knew that she was lying and everyone knew the story. So when they got there, they filmed everything.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And.

[Chelsea Handler]

And she's like. I mean, talk about a dumbass. She's like, what? Like she. And they're like, well, let's see your vagina and make sure you're okay. Basically, you just delivered a baby, right?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Sure. She's stupid. She should have did that shit when she was on her. Oh, wait, you don't have periods. Cause you got a hysterectomy. Oh my God. So she's like, she ain't even got no blood. You know, when you bleak, like you got a little blood on your pants, little blood on the back of the pajama bottoms or something, you will be bleeding through there. She came out of there with just a little bit of blood on her shirt from the bleeding baby she was holding, right?

[Katherine]

Did the woman survive?

[Tiffany Haddish]

No, the woman did not.

[Chelsea Handler]

The woman died and the baby died.

[Tiffany Haddish]

So the lady, she doing life in jail. But I'm like, she's so dumb. She should have put that blood of the lady all between her legs or something. Like, either way. But it doesn't matter. Why you taking somebod?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, that. But also, how do you think that plan. You think that you're gonna steal someone's baby from their belly, take it out of their stomach and they're not gonna find out, right?

[Katherine]

They're not gonna find a body?

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, what? I just don't understand how stupid people are. It's. I guess you're just so crazy that it supersedes the stupidity mentally. But then it's like a permanent state of psychosis, right?

[Tiffany Haddish]

All your friends, your neighbors, like, everybody, like, they just let you keep talking that shit. Like, even her mom and dad, her mom and dad said we don't deal with her at all. She's a pathological liar and we don't deal with her at all.

[Chelsea Handler]

What was really sad was after the husband or the boyfriend, whatever he is. The farmer, the pig farmer. He is. He's a pig transporter. He's like, you know what was the most touching part was how much his mother loved him and was like, I just wish he had listened to me. Like, I warned him, I told him. But he was getting angry at the people who were telling him the truth, as one does. And then he's been shunned and ostracized by the community and society because he was with her. And so now this poor guy. And you know who I liked in that documentary? His best friend. He had some fucking soul. He came and he was like, you have to listen to me. Forget about all this gossip. You have to listen to me man to man. This woman is out. She's not right. Something's wrong with her. And he couldn't listen to her because it's the power of the pussy.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Even though he wasn't getting any pussy. Cause if he was, he would have known she wasn't fucking pregnant.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Right. But he probably don't know the difference. Difference between pregnant pussy and not pregnant pussy. And she probably was really just slurping it up, you know, giving us hopping on a knob and keeping them drunk every night. And then she probably had gas and she's like, look, the baby's moving with gas bubbles and stuff. And then that probably gave her liberty to fart and burp, like freely and stuff. And he's just thinking, oh, she making my baby. But really she's a nasty, dirty.

[Caller / Guest]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

Anyway, that was a slight sidebar.

[Katherine]

Just a tiny sidebar 10, 15 minutes later that is making this email sound very tame.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Okay, go ahead.

[Katherine]

We'll pick back up where we left off. So, you know, she thought that he had. He told her that he had had a vasectomy, or so I thought. I missed my period this month, but still thought nothing of it and assumed it was due to stress or lack of sleep. But when I still didn't get it weeks later, I decided to take a pregnancy test. Well, it was positive. I'm hurt and upset that he lied about something so serious. I'm not someone who wants to carry a child and have never wanted kids. Even though I adore his children, I still don't want one of my. Because of this, I've decided to terminate the pregnancy. I'm trying to figure out how I should handle these feelings. Things haven't been going well for us and I've been wanting to break things off anyway. But do I first tell him that I'm pregnant? And demand an explanation on why he lied to me, or do I go through this alone and keep it to myself? I feel incredibly betrayed. And any advice you have on the situation would be greatly appreciated.

[Tiffany Haddish]

What do you think I'm an asshole?

[Chelsea Handler]

She wants to play a trick on him.

[Katherine]

Shit.

[Tiffany Haddish]

In his shoes, I'm evil. I'm evil. No, I would tell him his vasectomy doesn't work. And I would. If she wants to terminate the pregnancy, do the little pill or whatever, but

[Chelsea Handler]

absolutely don't fucking tell him anything until you get that abortion. He doesn't get to know because he's untrustworthy. To lie about something like that, that's crazy. It's very deceptive. And something's wrong with him. So get him out. Get rid of him as quickly as possible. If you want to confront him after the fact, go ahead.

[Tiffany Haddish]

But.

[Chelsea Handler]

But, I mean, I know there's some self satisfaction you think you're gonna get by confronting people, but usually when you're confronting a psychopath, you're just gonna get more lies.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

And I think if you're already thinking about bringing up with him anyway, this is like way, way, way red flag.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, this would be a reason to break up with someone if you weren't

[Katherine]

thinking, even if you weren't totally. Okay. Can vasectomies not work? Don't they, like, work all of the time or are there.

[Tiffany Haddish]

It depends on how they did it. Now, if they burnt the ends of the tubes, then it should be done. Unless he didn't get out 80 nuts before. But he got the vasectomy years before.

[Katherine]

Right.

[Tiffany Haddish]

So the only other thing is, if they tied it in a knot, then a knot could come untied.

[Katherine]

Okay.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And then it could flow through there. Those are the only two ways that I know of.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I mean, well, yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

I didn't even think about that. Maybe it didn't work.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I mean, maybe I would. I would handle business and I would let them know that you might need to go back to the doctor.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And get your stuff checked because you. Because as far as I'm concerned, you're a liar or the doctor messed up the malpractice, because that's. That is not true.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

You have a vasectomy. It's not true.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

All right, D. Best of luck to you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I have a lot of medical stuff

[Tiffany Haddish]

because I'm a doctor.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, but I'm a doctor. I'm a pharmacist. You're a doctor, she's an md And I'm a pharmacist. We should have our own doctor medical facility.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Hello.

[Chelsea Handler]

We should open one up in Mallorca.

[Tiffany Haddish]

We could do it.

[Chelsea Handler]

We could.

[Tiffany Haddish]

We could all natural medic.

[Chelsea Handler]

You diagnose them and then I prescribe them.

[Caller / Guest]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

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[Chelsea Handler]

Most dogs are eating ultra processed food every day and we just accept it. Doug eats just food for dogs. Real 100% human grade food. And the number one vet recommended fresh dog food food. And yes, the difference is obvious. Better digestion, more energy, way more excitement about dinner. If your dog deserves better and they do, just try it. Go to justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first order. No code needed. This ad is brought to you by Vive Healthcare, the makers of Devato Dolutegravir lamivudine. Living with HIV do learn about Devato Dovato is a complete HIV treatment by prescription only for some people 12 and older. Your doctor will determine if Devato is right for You. No other complete HIV pill contains fewer medicines than Dovato. Most HIV pills contain three or four medicines. Divato is as effective with two medicines.

[Advertisement Voice]

It is unknown if Devato is safe and effective if you have HIV and hepatitis B if you have hep B. Don't stop Dovato without talking to your doctor as it may get worse or harder to treat. Don't take Dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking Dofetilide due to serious or life threatening side effects. If you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop Devato and get medical help right away. Other serious or life threatening side effects include severe liver problems and lactic acid buildup. If you're female or obese, you may be more at risk. Tell your doctor about your medicines or supplements. Medical conditions, liver or kidney problems, pregnancy, breastfeeding or planned pregnancy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do learn About Devato, visit devato.com or call 1-877-844-8872 to.

[Katherine]

Well, our first caller today is Miles. And Miles says, I was in a relationship for 15 years and when it ended, I felt like I lost everything. I lost my wife, my house, my family, and the future I thought I was going to have. Now I'm living on my own for the first time. I'm finding it hard to make new friends. And honestly, the silence and loneliness can be overwhelming. One of the hardest parts is knowing my ex has already moved on and is in a new relationship while I'm still trying to figure out who I am on my own. How do I learn to be alone without feeling lonely? How do I build a new life when I feel like I'm starting from scratch? And how do I truly move on when the person I thought I'd spend my life with has already moved on? Miles.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Myles.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Hello, hello, hello, hello.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is our special guest today. Ms. Tiffany Haddish is here.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Hello. Oh, my God.

[Caller / Guest]

Hi. I saw you recently in Sydney. You're amazing.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, I was there. Yay.

[Caller / Guest]

Nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

But was.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Is this person you were with? A bogan?

[Caller / Guest]

A bogan? No.

[Tiffany Haddish]

No, no. Okay, good, good, good, good.

[Caller / Guest]

We're not all bogans.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I know. I know. You're not all bogans. I know that. I know, I know. I was just checking.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, that sounds like you're going through a really difficult time.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah, it's been a lot.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's been a lot. I'm reading this book. It's called this Is what Happens When Women Read. That's the name of the book. And it's about someone going through not your exact situation, but like, a complete, like, breakdown of what she thought was her life, life, and the end of one of, you know, of a part of her life. And while that transition period, like, what you're in right now is so scary and unknown and, like, you feel so destabilized. I can imagine. And this isn't what you expected from your life. This period of time is temporary. It's not permanent. And what you do with this time is going to. Is going to matter for the rest of your life. Like, how you build and rebuild your life from here is gonna be really vital to how you go through the rest of your life. And it's a huge opportunity for intense growth and immense growth. Like, you wanna really just dive in to actually sitting alone and being alone with those feelings, really. I know it doesn't sound desirable, and it's not fun to be feeling this way, but the best way to get through these things is to go straight through them and not to numb yourself with alcohol or drugs or any of that stuff or exercise or whatever. Like, you wanna do whatever you're doing, but you don't want to numb yourself to what you're dealing with because it's intensely painful. I understand. And you wanna experience that pain because through that darkness, you will find your light. I promise you. Everyone goes through really dark periods in their lives. Some are more intense than others, but you have a choice of how you handle it and how you come out the other side.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And as someone who's been divorced, it felt like everything like that when. Yeah, it felt like it was death. Death to the relationship in my mind. Kind of like, he's dead to me. Like, everything was like. Yeah, it was dark. And what I did was I wallowed around in that shit for a little bit. I ain't gonna lie to you. I wallowed around in it. And I did get drunk and I did a lot of stupid stuff and I caused myself a lot of problems, okay? And then my grandma snatched me up and she said, like, baby girl, baby girl, how long you gonna be sad about this, man? That's probably not sad about you. That's probably already moved on. Probably already doing somebody else. Like, do things that you enjoy. Just start doing things that you enjoy. And if you don't enjoy nothing, pretend like you enjoy it. So I got myself a little Groupon. I went to the little paint and sip classes. I didn't. My girlfriends wanted to take me places, but they reminded me of him because that we all hung out together. So I didn't Want to really be around them that much. I went to male strip clubs. I watched men dance and I threw money at them. $20. I never spent more than $20. And I yelled. I yelled really crazy things at them. I objectified those men. And that made me feel good. Now probably was wrong, probably should have been nice to those young men. But I was not. I was. Let me see that dick swing, motherfucker. Dance better, bitch. Like I was yelling stuff like that. And them, it was a good time. And then 11 months. 11 months. I didn't date anybody else. And then I just like kind of like really started figuring out what do I want to do in my life, what do I want to be. I started getting. I enrolled in acting classes. I enrolled in a calligraphy class which was weird as hell cuz I have the worst handwriting. It was still. But I failed that class. But also took a voice. Vocal lessons, a diagram, dialect lessons, like a speed reading class. I just start taking classes, any kind of classes. I went to the amex, the Amex Acme, you know, they have the, the speakers and the people that teach little things. And then like I went to the community college for a little bit. Took a grooming dogs class, like and I'll just meet people in these classes. And then I would get on stage as much as possible because I'm a comedian. I would talk about my problems and the jokes didn't make. It was bad, I was bombing, but it's okay. I was getting the stuff off my chest and I went to therapy. And after 11 months, then I started dating and I started like. It's like the fog finally cleared.

[Chelsea Handler]

How long has it been for you?

[Caller / Guest]

Well, it's been 12 months, but we lived together.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, you gotta get out of there.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah, no, no, we're not anymore. So we had to live together. We have a five year old boy. So we had to sell our house. I moved out in March, bought my own place. So you know, I focused on, you know, getting in a promotion at work, making sure I bought my own place, sort of all the right things. And then it's, you know, now 12 months later. I've been living, you know, out of on my own since March. And then all of a sudden the craziness stops and you know, all of the things that I wanted to achieve, I've done. And now it's just like emptiness.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Now fill that up with something you always wanted to do. Crochet, sewing, maybe learn how to do. He maybe become a dental hygienist. Maybe you Become a mechanic. Just pick up a little thing, you know. You in Australia. It's a gang of fine ass men out there. I would be hanging out at the little.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is it a woman or a man that you're with or you were with?

[Caller / Guest]

I was with a woman for 15 years. Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, well, try a man now. See how that goes. Try something different. Just see how it goes. You might not like it. You might be like, you know what? Nope. But if there's a gang of fine ass men, it's a gang of fine ass women too. So I would go enjoy myself.

[Caller / Guest]

I definitely have tried that,

[Chelsea Handler]

I think. Listen, first of all, you have to be grateful for all of the things that you have. Like you're not going through this and having financial struggles. You're not going through this and you're unhealthy or you're sick or your kid's sick or anything like that. Like you're feeling emptiness. That's a completely valid human emotion. To feel and feel it. Cause it's not going to last forever, I promise you. You have to just feed your soul. You have to read books that are gonna help you move on with your life. And what Tiffany is. I didn't know you did all that shit when you were going through your divorce. I mean, that's badass to fill yourself up. Like do something that you never thought you'd do. Take a sailing class or go take a pottery class or do something that appeals to you, whatever that is. But just start giving to yourself more than you're giving in. It's okay to feel empty. It's okay to feel lonely. But you have to remember, like, even the good times aren't permanent. So the bad times can't be permanent either.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Or you could marry yourself. We could have a wedding for you, girl. We could put this whole thing together. That will be all.

[Chelsea Handler]

Tiffany just married herself two years ago. She's coming up on her two year anniversary.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I'm coming up on my two year anniversary in August.

[Caller / Guest]

Girl, congratulations.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, I married me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you have a big support system? Do you have a good support system?

[Caller / Guest]

So obviously I have my family. But you know, we were together a long time and we built a friendship group together. I think when she ended it, I stepped away because I didn't want to say anything hurtful or mean when I was angry to, you know, mutual friends. So I'm slowly trying to get back into, you know, that friendship group that we had. But it's, it's still awkward for me. I do have, you know, three really close friends, which is enough.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Caller / Guest]

But now that I'm sort of living in. Back in the city in Sydney, you know, I want to go out and meet new people, but it's. I feel like I'm not myself. It's just. Just. It's awkward. I've never been alone. And then obviously, you know, in terms of support, I have my son half the time, which is incredible.

[Tiffany Haddish]

But you. A new self. You're not yourself. You're not yourself anymore. You're not that woman anymore that was married before. You are a new person now. So it's like, yeah, it's time to get to know you. It's time to get to know what you're really into. For 15 years, you were always considerate of this other person and what they liked. And what. What can we do together now? Is what do I like and what can I do with me that other people would want to do with me, too?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I understand that you're, like, experiencing this as a great loss, but, like, you have to kind of flip the script on this because it's a new beginning in your life. And even though it's not one that you necessarily chose, you have it now. You have all this opportunity for a whole new life, and that's. While that can be daunting, it's super fucking exciting also. So, like, you just want to change the way that you're talking to yourself about this experience.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

This is.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is. This can be the beginning of something very positive, and I know that it is. Every breakup leads to some rebirth, a new experience for people like no one. I mean, it's very rare that you hold onto a breakup for years and years and years. So I think let go of the fact that it's been a year and let go of that time stamp in your head. It's not that pertinent. What you want to do is really, really a. Wake up and write down five things that are going well for you in your life. Write down how much you love your son, that you're grateful for your job, that you're grateful you got a promotion, that you're financially secure and independent, that you have a beautiful house. Write down all of these things so you remind yourself of how lucky and fortunate you are. You're not sick, you're not broke, you're not, you know, you have friends, you have family, you have wonderful things. You're just holding onto the pain. And in order to release the pain, you need to remind yourself of what's going on.

[Caller / Guest]

Great advice.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And don't be afraid to cry.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah. Lean in.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Cry til you laugh.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah. Because you will start laughing.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah. Crying is just a removal of old beliefs and a replacement of new ones. So create some new beliefs.

[Chelsea Handler]

But just try to shake off that feeling of awkwardness when you feel that. Like try to let it loose, like just like let go of that. That's the old you. That's somebody who's holding onto the past. So every time you think of that, just think of that Taylor Swift song, shaking it off. Just like literally shake your body and be like, no, that's not who I am anymore. You know what I mean? And move through your life with that energy and, and just start uplifting yourself because really this is all you can ever do is be your own best advocate. You can't rely on other people to lift you up. You have to do it yourself.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Now are you trying to get back out there dating again or. No, not yet or what?

[Caller / Guest]

No, no, not yet. I mean, I have have sort of gone out and met a few people, but no, I've just been trying to focus on my son, make sure he's mentally okay.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, good, focus on that. If you decide you want to start dating other people, let me know. Cuz I know a few millionaire that's, you know, popping in Australia.

[Caller / Guest]

Really, you know, I'm not saying don't send them my way.

[Chelsea Handler]

There we go. That's the ceremony.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Because they was hitting on me while I was out there.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's the spirit that they were. But treat yourself with love and compassion, okay? You are your best advocate and your happiness is important for your child's happiness. So you gotta just wake up every day and try and find the gratitude in where you are in this moment. And you're gonna look back at this time in another year or two, I promise. And you're gonna be like, wow, that was really tough. And I got through that like a fucking champ.

[Caller / Guest]

Oh, you guys are incredible. I feel so much better already.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Good, good.

[Chelsea Handler]

But promise me that you' wake up and write down five things every day that you're grateful for.

[Caller / Guest]

Absolutely. I do love journaling, so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, great. So yeah, do that every day because that just sets you up for success for your day. And when you get off track and you get sad, do the same thing. Write it down again, Write down another five things. Just every time you start to feel like you're not on your right path and that like, spirit of like shaking it off and lifting up, then just remind yourself that you're healthy, you're strong, you're vibrant, you have a son. Like things are going well.

[Tiffany Haddish]

You winning?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

All right, Miles, let us know what you sign up for, what you start doing, what you start enjoying that you didn't think you would enjoy.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah. Let's see, let's see. I'm looking forward to meeting those millionaire though.

[Chelsea Handler]

Girl. We'll send you a direct link to Tiffany's website.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I got you, girl. I got you. I'm affording them all your information. I'm afford your information. No, you, I'm gonna get you.

[Caller / Guest]

Thank you.

[Tiffany Haddish]

You know what? I'm gonna just tell you where they be hanging out at.

[Caller / Guest]

So lovely to meet you guys. I appreciate your time.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you, Miles. Thanks, Miles. Sending you lots of love.

[Caller / Guest]

Thank you.

[Katherine]

Aww, what a sweetie.

[Chelsea Handler]

I, I. It breaks my heart when people's hearts are broken.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I know.

[Katherine]

And she's really only like three months out of the chaos part of it, so it's interesting that she's. Now it just feels like there's nothing because there is some, like. It's so stimulating to be in the chaos, even though it's like, bad. Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's like when you realize after a breakup, there's that drama that comes with the breakup. Right. And then when that goes away, it's almost like, well, now there's no way, you know, like even in the aftermath of the breakup, there's a possibility of reconciliation or there's drama attached that keeps the engine going.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I don't have that much drama after my breakups. Cause I disappeared.

[Katherine]

Yeah. They had to like, live together for like nine months afterward, though.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, that, that would be a problem.

[Katherine]

That's messy.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I disappear, you know, I'm a foster kid. I know how to evacuate the premises quickly and never show up again. I know how to do that. I hate that I do that. I hate that I do that, but I do that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, why do you hate that you do it?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Because I know that the other person wants to say more and do more, but it's like there's nothing else that could be said. There's nothing. And I would to be that ear for them to like, pour their little heart out into so they're not talking about me all over the world, but they gonna talk about me anyway, so just let it go.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, sometimes you're. Yeah, sometimes there's just too many conversations around the breakup.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Right. And I don't even wanna have them. When I broke up with, you know, a few people, the last, like, I would say the last four relationships I had. I think they thought I was gonna be like, why you don't wanna. We can work on this. I'm like, this seems like you want this to be over. Okay, cool. Let's. Okay, you go your way, I'm gonna go mine. I'm get my little duffel bag. Deuces. Bye. And they like, wait, that's it? Yeah, that's it. That's it. We done? Bye. See you around. I'm always smiling. I always say hello when I see you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You actually, you're right. I mean obviously you're right. Cause it's your life. But you aren't dramatic with brain. Yeah, it's much better when it's not dramatic. Yeah, yeah, it's much more assault. Like it's better the men be mad.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Cause they be like, you never really loved me. I'm like, what do you mean you didn't fight for me? I'm not fighting. I'm not fighting for no man. There's too many of y' all out here.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was looking up the definition, the difference between suppress and repress earlier. Cause I always get confused by those two words. Which one is conscious? Suppress is consciously. When you consciously suppress it. And repress is unconscious. Unconscious. I just thought I'd throw that out there. In relation to what? I don't know.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I repressed these emotions

[Chelsea Handler]

and breakups.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Okay, let's talk about how women's hormones change and suddenly sex can feel completely different. But nobody mentions that part. That's exactly why Vella exists. They've created science backed products like Pleasure Wave and Meltwater that help women navigate their dryness, discomfort and the realities of menopause. Because women deserve solutions, not awkward silence. And great sex shouldn't disappear just because your hormones changed Vella. Understand your body, reclaim what's next. Go to vellabio.com listen.

[Chelsea Handler]

I have access to a lot of

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

things that most people don't. Top dermatologists, high end treatments. But in those circles, the conversation has shifted. Now it's about extending youthful looking skin before invasive eyes options. That's why people in the industry are talking about Exosomes. Exosomes are disrupting the beauty world and plated skin science is leading the conversation. Plated has elite award winning technology and over 10 clinical studies with remarkable results. Clinically proven to deliver brighter, firmer, younger looking skin in just weeks. This is more than skincare. It's a cosmetic treatment in a bottle. Visit plated skinscience.com Be honest.

[Chelsea Handler]

Most dogs are eating ultra processed food every day and we just accept it. Doug eats just food for dogs. Real 100% human grade food. And the number one vet recommended fresh dog food. And yes, the difference is obvious. Better digestion, more energy, way more excitement about dinner. If your dog deserves better, and they do, just try it. Go to justfoodfordogs.com and get 50% off your first dog order. No code needed. This ad is brought to you by Vive Healthcare, the makers of Devado Dolutegravir Lamivudine Living with HIV DO learn about Devato Divato is a complete HIV treatment by prescription only for some people 12 and older. Your doctor will determine if Devato is right for you. No other complete HIV pill contains fewer medicines than devotees. Most HIV pills contain three or four medicines. Dovato is as effective with two medicines.

[Advertisement Voice]

It is unknown if Dovato is safe and effective if you have HIV and Hepatitis B if you have Hep B. Don't stop Dovato without talking to your doctor as it may get worse or harder to treat. Don't take Dovato if you're allergic to its ingredients or taking Dofetilide due to serious or life threatening side effects. If you have a rash or allergic reaction symptoms, stop Devato and get medical help right away. Other serious or life threatening side effects include severe liver problems and lactic acid buildup. If you're female or obese, you may be more at risk. Tell your doctor about your medicines or supplements, medical conditions, liver or kidney problems, pregnancy, breastfeeding or planned pregnancy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do learn about devato visit devato.com or call 1-877-844-8872.

[Katherine]

Well, our next question comes from Olivia and she says, Dear Chelsea, I never pictured myself writing into a podcast for advice on how to navigate men in the dark dating world, but here we are. I'm turning 35 in May and I have been seriously single for about six years. I have a good job, hobbies like camping and film, photography, a dog, solid friendships and a wonderful relationship with my family. I have my own radio show once a week on one of the local community stations here where I play tunes and chat music. I feel I have a lot to offer in a partnership and that's exactly what I'm seeking. A partner. I moved out to California on my own four years ago and now I want someone to explain, explore with. I'm on several dating apps, have been for a long time, and also try my hardest to put myself out there in the wild. But it seems whether via an app or in person, there's no follow through from the guys and they just seem lackluster about dating in general.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

If and when I get a match, there is barely any follow through from them about wanting to get to know me or meet in person. It's beyond discouraging. I'm almost to the point where I've decided that my life might be better off without a man. I've enjoyed a lot of these last six years with just my dog. We have a peaceful existence and do as we please. Deep down, as much as I tell myself it doesn't matter, in the end, I want a partner. How do I keep putting in the effort when it feels totally unreciprocated by the opposite sex? Olivia.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Olivia.

[Caller / Guest]

Hello.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is Tiffany Haddish, our special guest.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Hey, girl. Hey.

[Caller / Guest]

Hi, Tiffany Haddish.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

The good news is you're not alone. Many women are feeling this way and I do think the apps and the social media aspect of everything has diminished.

[Tiffany Haddish]

It's too many prostitutes out here. Most of these women is prostitutes now. Now they're making it so easy. No, that's real talk. I done talked about 52 dudes over the last 17 days and they all said it's just really easy to just spend $200 and you can get a bad a beautiful woman for 200 and she'll do nasty things to you and go away.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but you would do nasty things to somebody for free. So what?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, but it's gonna take em a year for me to do it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh yeah. So that nobody. I would just say you're open, you've put yourself out there. So that's like all you can really do. Do you. And you've. You seem like a go getter. You've moved to California on your own, you have your own radio show, you have all these things going on for you. Like I would really. Just invest in yourself and just know that when the person comes along, they're gonna come along and you're gonna be ready for them. You know what I mean? Enjoy your time without the expectation of meeting the guy. And it's a guy you're looking for, not a woman.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah, right. I wish it was.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know it would be so much easier.

[Caller / Guest]

I feel like it'd be so much easier.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Caller / Guest]

And in fact, I'm back in Connecticut visiting my family right now and I kind of told them that I was going to be talking to you guys and I fight, I fight the. I feel like oftentimes women are fighting the tide of like societal pressure, you know, when I Talked to Katherine pre interview. I've been happy like the last six years, right, Doing my thing, moving to California. But I. I do sometimes find myself camping or on adventures, saying, like, it would be nice to have someone sitting here with me, like drinking a glass of wine or jumping in this lake or sleeping in a tent, you know? So I'm very confident and fine traveling alone, you know? I went to Italy for a month last year by myself. And there are always just these little.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Did you meet some guys there? They say they horny in Italy.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah, girl.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

No.

[Tiffany Haddish]

What?

[Caller / Guest]

I know. And so.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, I gotta. You gotta come hang out with me. I gotta see what you doing in these streets.

[Chelsea Handler]

You think you can help her?

[Tiffany Haddish]

I think so.

[Caller / Guest]

Sitting on the Spanish Steps in Rome saying it'd be nice to like, have a glass of wine with someone I'm loving traveling alone. But there are moments where I say to myself, it really would be nice to. I think men too, I find between the ages of 35 and 39, think that have this, like, predisposition to think that women are looking for a ring. And I just want someone to adventure with, have a good time, a committed partner, in a way, you know?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I like that idea.

[Caller / Guest]

And yeah, it's just the last few experience I've had have just been a tough, total letdown.

[Chelsea Handler]

So why don't you do this? Why don't you get off this call and Write down the 20 things that you want in a man. Write down everything that you're looking for. It doesn't matter if it's materialistic or superficial, like the way they look. Whatever it is that comes into your head, the really most important 20 things to you, write that down on a piece of paper, put it in a drawer and don't look at it again. And go about your business and go about your life being grateful that you don't have the wrong guy in your life or somebody who's draining you or somebody. You know what I mean? That you're not in a toxic relationship. You're free, you're independent. You have all this stuff going for you. The fact that you went to Italy for a month by yourself, that's badass. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't go to Italy by myself for a month. I don't even know how to find my way around, you know, places like I so like, you're. You're crushing life. And any guy that would get to be with you is a huge addition. It has to be a huge addition. And so I don't Doubt that you're gonna meet somebody that's gonna fit the criteria, but I think you need to really put it out there and put it in your drawer and just leave it there. And you can continue on the apps or you cannot, but really just enjoy the time that you have by yourself. Because it won't be forever. There will be somebody that comes along. There always is. Whether it's your forever person or just somebody for a few months, somebody will come into your life.

[Tiffany Haddish]

They do show up.

[Caller / Guest]

I think I go back and forth about the apps because they can become a really dark. A dark place. And so that was also something I wanted to pick your brain about the apps because I know I've heard you do your standup and talks how you did. You dabbled in the apps, I think, for like a bit. And I'm at the point now where I don't want to pay for them anymore and I kind of just want to delete them and maybe like, just as you were saying, let the chips fall kind of as they will. I just feel like there's no success on there.

[Katherine]

Are you ever asking somebody out when you, like, are out in the wild and you feel a vibe with like the cute barista or whatever?

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Okay, I did that.

[Caller / Guest]

About a month ago, I met a guy at a birthday party and we hit it off. I was traveling, he was traveling. We said, let's get in touch when we get back. He got in touch with me. We went to a little music festival up the coast. We had a great time, invited him back down to where I was living. We didn't have sex or anything. We hooked up. He in fact, said that he was trying to approach his relationships differently and take things slightly. So I thought, okay, these are like green flags. And yeah, as it goes. And what I've been experiencing the last, last six years. The next morning he was saying how he could. He thought his summer was going to be like his alone time and he wasn't ready to like commit to anything yet, but that we should stay in touch. And, you know, I asked him to hang out a few more times.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Girl, I would block his ass.

[Caller / Guest]

It was kind of just like a ghosting thing. Like I asked him to hang out again. I told him was I was coming up to San Francisco and I just never heard from him.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Girl, block that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, she doesn't have to block him cuz he's not trying to connect with her.

[Caller / Guest]

Tiffany, what this guy still does is he'll like my Instagram stories.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, this is so.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

This is so his ass.

[Chelsea Handler]

Y. Are you listening? Yeah. Please. I hope you are. Send this episode to Yaman, because honestly, I hate this with this I idea that a man like, this is. This is why they.

[Caller / Guest]

I'm 39.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, but jock him.

[Tiffany Haddish]

He a hoe. That's a hoe. Okay? And that's what he wanted to be, was a hoe. Did he eat your ass at least? Like, at the end of the day? Like, like, like definitive no.

[Chelsea Handler]

Definitive no.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And then. And that's why you move on. Move on. If I was you personally. Okay, so I like Bumble. I don't know about y', all, but I like going on Bumble.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you on Bumble?

[Tiffany Haddish]

I like going on Bumble.

[Caller / Guest]

I'm on Bumble.

[Tiffany Haddish]

And what I've noticed is, okay, so I'll go to another. A new place, and I'll, like, pick, you know, you could pick locations. And so I look for guys where I'm going to go. Like, I'm going to Louisville, Kentucky this week. So I look for guys on there, and they're shocked that it's me. They're like, don't believe it's me. And what I love about Bumble is you can FaceTime with them through the app, and they never have your phone number, right? And so I could. And I tell them, look, I'm not trying to have no boyfriend. I'm not looking for nothing serious. I'm coming to your town. I want to do something fun. I want you to take me somewhere in your town that's fun. You going to have to. And it better be a good time. And don't be smelling funny. Don't be looking crazy. Don't be that. Cuz I will talk about you to your face, sir. Every single one's like, oh, man, challenge accepted. Like, and they show up, right? And I just give them kind of like a criteria of what they got to do before they even, like, get in my space if you're trying to be in my space. Because I think men love challenges. Men love rules and rules of engagement. And like, oh, can I push the boundaries with her? And then. And then I'll tell them by the end of the day, like, like, hey, man, this was super fun. Thanks for taking me to this museum. Thanks for showing me a piece of your town. I don't ever want to see you again. They be like, what? Yeah, I'm cool on you, bro, but this was an amazing experience. I had a good time then. That guy is constantly sending me messages in Bumble, like, can we hang out Again. Then he starts following me on Instagram like, hey, it was really you and I really want to hang out. Look, check out this thing. Then they're sending me facts about their town and shit. Like, and I appreciate it, but that wasn't the guy for me. But also girl. Farmersonly.com. if you into men with land that understands men.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like the pig farmer from Eternal Instincts.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, but they understand he's available, by the way. You can tell him any motherfucking thing. He let you get away with it. Like the guy from Maternal Instincts. No, I don't know about that.

[Caller / Guest]

I'm not. Success on farming.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I've had fun. I've had fun. I haven't had sex with anybody on there. I don't have a boyfriend from there, but I've made some really great friends. I've learned a lot about the land. I've learned a lot about investments. And, you know, as a businesswoman, you know, I'm always like. And I'm into food and stuff, so I want to. I only want to be around people that's into what I'm into. Right. So I've been learning so much. I done made some investments, too.

[Caller / Guest]

I love that.

[Chelsea Handler]

In farmland.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, in farmland. And not necessarily in a guy who I was dating farmland. But, like. And anyways, it doesn't matter. I made investments meeting these guys, and I'm learning. I think I'm learning a lot. Like, at the end of the day, I'm not going into it thinking of, oh, I'm going to get a husband. I'm going in. Like, I want, like you said, a partner. I want to grow with somebody. I want to learn something. Can you teach me something? Like, I ask every guy can. What you going to teach me today?

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, I want someone to teach me something. I like that.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Thirsty for knowledge, sir? Some of these women out here, thirsty for dick. I'm thirsty for knowledge.

[Chelsea Handler]

Another thing you can do is you can geo target where you live, you know what I mean? And for Instagram, and kind of slide into people's DMs.

[Caller / Guest]

Oh, interesting.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what I mean? Like, look at their profile. That kind of gives you a nice full picture of what's happening if they're married or if they have a girlfriend or you know what the situation is. And, like, look within your area and just start, like, you know, browsing. Use that as a dating app.

[Tiffany Haddish]

That might get a dm.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, because you're. You're fully, you know, you're. You have no problem, like, approaching a man. I mean, Listen, you're my hero from this call. You're doing everything right. So like I love it. A lot of women don't have the balls to go up and ask men like to go out. You know, I can even be shy around that myself. Which doesn't really make much sense. Yeah, just because. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why, just girl stuff. But I love what you're doing. I love everything you're doing. And it's just like enjoy yourself.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Are you afraid to date younger?

[Caller / Guest]

I'm. I'm not afraid to date younger, but I do, I feel like there should. I feel like my cap is like

[Tiffany Haddish]

28 because I know this 26 year old dude. He's six foot two, very handsome. He might be six foot four.

[Chelsea Handler]

Where, where do you live?

[Caller / Guest]

I'm in Santa Cruz, California.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, he's in la.

[Caller / Guest]

Here's my thing. Like even guys who are like, the immaturity just lasts for like so long. So my fear with dating younger is like, yeah, I can't even get like.

[Tiffany Haddish]

But if they're, but if they're a businessman, there's younger business. Like there's old souls out here. I mean they approach me off all the time. It's some young grown men out here.

[Caller / Guest]

I think one of my good qualities is that I am open.

[Katherine]

So okay, this might not be your vibe, but just hear me out. I think a lot of women who are into a masculine guy need to start seeing about dating trans men.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Def.

[Katherine]

Because you have like the personality. You have like they were raised right and then you have all the masculine qualities of man.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

You've.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is the second time you've brought that up. It feels like you want to date a trans man.

[Katherine]

I mean happily married, but you know,

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean you shouldn't rule trans men out.

[Caller / Guest]

No, I'm not, there's. I'm not real. I, like I said I'm very open. It's just the years keep rolling on, you know.

[Chelsea Handler]

How old are you?

[Tiffany Haddish]

She's 30.

[Caller / Guest]

I'm 35.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I think you're probably going to meet somebody. You know, I don't know that you're going to marry someone, but you're definitely going to meet a couple more guys in your life.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Like estate sales, funerals. It's always vulnerable men at funerals. I've met, I've dated a lot of men from funerals and they spoil you too. Cuz they trying to feel better. Did I say est sales auctions are usually good? There's a lot of good men there. Grocery stores near Gyms, gyms are a

[Chelsea Handler]

good place to meet people, period.

[Tiffany Haddish]

But the grocery store near the gym is the best place. Not in the gym, but by the gym.

[Chelsea Handler]

Also, if you're in Santa Cruz, join a biking group or join a hiking group or whatever, rock climbing, whatever you're into surf and, and find some, you know, find some different kind of groups of people that way.

[Caller / Guest]

Yeah, joining groups, that's something I, yeah, I moved there. I've moved. I've been in California for four years. I've been in Santa Cruz for a little over a year. So still kind of. I've just now started feeling acclimated.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. So you're new to that area, so. Yeah. Yeah, give it a little bit more time. I bet you you're going to meet someone.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, you're pretty, you're going to pull fast. If you just like, I just want to have fat. And the guys will be like, ah, yes, she will be mine.

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Caller / Guest]

This is a good story to tell. My girlfriends were like, you gotta tell this story. I met a guy in a dating app in San Francisco and it very soon into the day I was like, oh, this is gonna be a good time, not a long time sort of situation.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Caller / Guest]

Which I was into because again, just trying to like make connections. Connections. We ended up being in Las Vegas at the same time for a concert and he met up with a bunch of my friends and I hadn't gotten laid in a really long time and they were like, this is your night. Like the guy from San Francisco's in Las Vegas. Like, perfect, perfect, perfect. We go back up to the hotel room, we're hooking up. Inches from penetration. He tells me has an std.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Oh, hell no.

[Katherine]

It's not the time.

[Chelsea Handler]

At least he told you. At least he told you. Touching and burning. I know, but at least he told you. What was the std? What was the std?

[Caller / Guest]

Herpes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And was he having an outbreak? A herpe outbreak, or he just.

[Caller / Guest]

He wasn't having an outbreak, but.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, well, that's very responsible, by the way.

[Caller / Guest]

But he didn't have a condom, right?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So I did the right thing.

[Tiffany Haddish]

You rep mat coochie. I'mma jack you off. That's what we f. Do.

[Chelsea Handler]

But where is that guy now?

[Caller / Guest]

He's traveling the world somewhere.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Probably catching more STDs, so. Okay. Well, okay. At least he told you, so. That's not the worst thing in the world.

[Caller / Guest]

No, it's not. But between that interaction and the one who keeps liking my Instagram stories, I just am, like, fed up. Those are the latest interactions I've had with the male species.

[Chelsea Handler]

My, my. Listen, they're a lot better than some of the other stories that are out there. And my advice to all women is to stop fucking looking. To check and see who is looking at your Instagram stories. Yeah, it doesn't matter. If that person wants to contact you, then will. And it's not because they're looking through your stories like, it's like watching someone watching tv. It doesn't matter who's looking through your Instagram stories. It doesn't matter. Unless that person sends you a message about your Instagram story, and then you want to. And then they're initiating a conversation. So I would just stop looking at that.

[Caller / Guest]

You're very right. I think it's just this. This kind of, like, maddening, like. Okay, never heard from him, right? He didn't text me back. Why is he liking my story? Like, get out of my life. So, to Tiffany's point, I think I'm just gonna, like, remove him.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Y. Mute his ass. Block him where he gotta call you to be like, hey, I can't see you on the stories no more. Well, you're not supposed to see me no more. You're a ghost. Boom. Bye.

[Chelsea Handler]

All right, keep us posted. Will you let us know in a few months if you meet someone, what the vibe is? Okay, I will do that.

[Caller / Guest]

And I am going to take your advice.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I want an invitation to your baby shower and to your wedding. I predict that in two years, she will be getting married.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, I like that prediction.

[Tiffany Haddish]

She will be very pregnant. And I want make sure we have.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, we have it on camera, I guess.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I want an invitation. Invitation. Okay. Okay, whatever. You're gonna be pregnant. You might not have it, but in two years. In two years. Mark my word, in two years, you're gonna be like, dang, Tiffany said, I'm not saying I'm psychic. But my instincts tell me in two years, it's. You're gonna be hemmed up. You're gonna be cooking and cleaning and all this stuff and happy as hell.

[Caller / Guest]

Okay. I like that mindset. I'm gonna take your advice though, Chelsea, and write down. Yeah, put it in a drawer.

[Chelsea Handler]

Write it down. That'll be helpful.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Write down, Tiffany going to be in a relationship.

[Chelsea Handler]

We have that. We. We have that recorded now. So we're all set.

[Tiffany Haddish]

We're going to want the invitation to the wedding and the baby shower. Cuz I know you say you not. You're not thinking about having no babies, but you going to have a baby, you going to have two of them.

[Caller / Guest]

All of you are invited.

[Tiffany Haddish]

We'll come together as a group. We will come and we will be like, bring the party.

[Katherine]

All right, Olivia, thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you so much. Take care.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Thank you.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

That was.

[Chelsea Handler]

That was. She was awesome. Yeah, she's great. That was great guests. Thank you. You're a great guest, Tiffany, as usual.

[Caller / Guest]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm not surprised, obviously, with your nonsense. Her full name is Tiffany Sarah Cornelia Haddish.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Did you know that?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, I knew that.

[Sponsor Voice / Medical Expert]

Did you?

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah, I did. Knew.

[Chelsea Handler]

And her new movie, Haunted Heist, is on video on demand, baby.

[Tiffany Haddish]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love you, you.

[Tiffany Haddish]

I love you more. Ciao, bella.

[Katherine]

If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to dearchelsea podcastmail.com Dear Chelsea is a production of I Heart Media. Follow Chelsea on all socials, Chelsea Handler, and find Catherine on TikTok at flashkadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Katherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea [e-mail].

[Chelsea Handler]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.