Minisode: Bender Baby with Chelsea + Catherine

Summary

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Dear Chelsea Podcast – Minisode: Bender Baby with Chelsea + Catherine

Date: January 30, 2026
Hosts: Chelsea Handler and Catherine Law
Episode Theme: Navigating Family, Trauma, and Self-Forgiveness After an Unplanned Pregnancy

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Episode Overview

In this deeply honest and compassionate minisode, Chelsea Handler and co-host Catherine Law dive into heavy, real-life issues sparked by a caller’s vulnerable story. The episode’s main themes revolve around handling trauma and PTSD, navigating difficult family dynamics, making independent choices about parenthood, and the often messy process of self-forgiveness and healing. Chelsea offers her trademark blend of blunt honesty and empathy as she counsels listeners through heartbreak, shame, and resilience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Listener Update: When Second Chances Go Wrong

[04:06–06:23]

• Background: Katherine reads a follow-up from Jay, a listener who previously called about whether her husband’s sexting constituted cheating. Jay shares that after giving her husband another chance, he subsequently cheated “for real” with one of her coworkers, leading to their separation and pending divorce.
• Reflection: Both Chelsea and Katherine discuss the pitfalls of habitual lying in relationships:
  • Chelsea: “There's nothing really good that comes from that. If somebody's sneaking around doing anything, it's going to lead to more things.” [05:20]
  • Katherine: “You have to weigh, did they fuck up one time or is it like a habitual thing?” [05:50]
• Advice: Chelsea commends Jay for staying strong and encourages listeners to trust red flags and remember that staying in a bad relationship is often more damaging. Katherine reminds Jay and others: “There is joy around the corner.” [06:23]

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2. Main Call: Jane’s Dilemma – Trauma, an Unplanned Pregnancy, and Family Estrangement

[09:29–22:21]

Jane’s Story

• Background: Jane, a 29-year-old woman, calls in disclosing she became pregnant after a “bender” weekend in which she slept with three men. She shares the complexity of her situation—PTSD from prior sexual trauma, difficulty trusting or dating men, Catholic upbringing, limited family support, and a fraught relationship with her mother, particularly after two pregnancies and consequent abortions.
• Main Questions: Jane expresses regret, feelings of isolation, and a broken relationship with her mother, who is both ashamed and unsupportive—leaving Jane unsure how to repair their connection.

Chelsea and Katherine’s Responses

• On Jane’s Age and Future:
  • Chelsea: “You’re 29. You have your entire life ahead of you. That’s nothing. So don’t worry about that number.” [12:39]
• On Trauma-Inspired Behavior:
  • Chelsea: “If it’s a result of the trauma that you endured, then that is a separate issue...your transparency is really great.” [13:03]
• On Family Dynamics and Support:
  • Chelsea validates Jane’s mother for setting boundaries, saying it’s unrealistic to expect her to raise a grandchild, noting, “She already raised you. She raised your siblings.” [13:09]
  • Emphasizes the need for Jane to first focus on her self-growth and stability before expecting family involvement.
• On Self-Healing and Progress:
  • Chelsea: “Nothing is permanent. Your feelings right now are not permanent...This is a great growth edge for you. You can actually decide, 'This is not how I want to behave anymore.'” [14:25]
  • Suggests Jane provide positive updates to her family about her progress, focusing on work, goals, and self-improvement rather than past trauma.
• On Trust and Hope for the Future:
  • Chelsea: “Don’t say, ‘I’m never going to.’ You’re 29 years old. You don’t know what you’re going to do...You’re going to have a lot of experiences and you’re going to fall in love with people and you’re going to have all those opportunities.” [14:56]
  • Encourages patience with family and herself, highlighting that transparency and ongoing effort matter more than past mistakes.

Practical Recommendations

• Communication with Family:
  • Focus on positive, non-trauma-related topics (work, books, accomplishments).
  • Avoid expecting emotional caretaking from family who may be at capacity or too ashamed to process her pain.
• Birth Control and Women’s Health:
  • Katherine: Suggests exploring birth control options for more hormonal stability, noting that some options “really suck,” but the right fit can help with mood and preventing unintended pregnancies. [18:35]
  • Chelsea: Recommends finding a female gynecologist: “She’s going to be much more adept at getting things inside you and also giving you the options of what’s a good option for you.” [19:53]
• Trauma Support:
  • Katherine: Suggests joining a sexual assault survivors’ group to supplement therapy, providing a safe outlet for discussing trauma—“That might be a good way to...talk about this.” [21:15]
  • Both hosts stress that it’s normal for family to not be able to process or support someone’s trauma and encourage seeking community and professional support elsewhere if needed.

Notable Quotes

• Chelsea: “It’s not what happens, it’s how you handle what happens.... I don’t have any doubt you’re on your road. You’re just in a vulnerable spot right now.” [17:24]
• Katherine: “I know right now it feels like the trauma looms so large...But as you keep working with your therapist...it will shrink as far as how much space it takes up in your life.” [18:03]
• Jane (caller): “I wish I could talk to my mom and my sister about this stuff, but it’s too taboo.” [20:13]
• Chelsea: “You have the ability to repair all of these relationships and make them grow and grow into the woman you really want to become.” [17:24]

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3. Hosts’ Reflections & Takeaways

[22:25–23:10]

• Katherine acknowledges the weight of callers’ stories: “It’s like a heavy topic, but I’m glad that this is a resource where people can come and talk about...some of the worst parts of life.” [22:25]
• Chelsea laments the challenges of family dynamics:
  • “Families are so up, truly.” [22:35]
• The hosts poke fun at meaningless platitudes people offer during hard times:
  • Chelsea: “‘It is what it is.’ Is there anything more stupid than that sentence?” [22:41]

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Memorable Moments

• Humor Amid Heaviness:
  The episode is punctuated by Chelsea’s trademark irreverence, such as her blithely stating, “I'll be touring...so suck on that. Everybody go to chelseahandler.com for tickets.” [24:52]
  This tone softens the gravity of the subject matter and keeps the advice accessible.
• Real Talk on Boundaries:
  Chelsea’s refusal to sugarcoat harsh family truths (“She’s not your partner. She already raised you.” [13:09]) offers listeners a refreshing stance on parental expectations.

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Useful Timestamps

• [04:06] – Listener update from Jay; lessons on habitual cheating
• [09:29] – Introduction of caller Jane and her situation
• [12:00] – Jane details her trauma, relationships, and family estrangement
• [13:09] – Chelsea lays out realities of parental support and boundaries
• [14:25] – Chelsea guides Jane through healing and planning for the future
• [18:03] – Katherine discusses trauma’s impact and shrinking its hold through therapy
• [19:53] – Birth control options and the importance of a female gynecologist
• [21:15] – Suggestions for survivor support groups
• [22:25] – Hosts reflect on the heaviness and necessity of safe spaces for hard conversations
• [22:41] – Chelsea ridicules empty platitudes in hard times

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Overall Tone

• Frank, compassionate, irreverent—Chelsea and Katherine balance warmth and realism, encouraging self-forgiveness and small, steady steps towards healing.
• There’s no shying away from dark realities, but also a distinct undercurrent of hope and the possibility of change.

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For listeners:
If you need honest, no-nonsense guidance through tough emotional landscapes—from bad breakups to family estrangement—you’ll find solace and actionable advice in this minisode of Dear Chelsea.

Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human Friday, February 6th kick off the Winter Olympics in style with the opening ceremony from Italy featuring a special performance by Mariah Carey. Celebrate the greatest athletes from around the globe as they come together to go for gold. The opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics. Ilya Malinin redefining this sport. Friday, February six on NBC and Peacock.

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[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor. Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com disclosures okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

Guys, the high and mighty tour is about to begin. I'm coming to Washington, D.C. norfolk, Virginia Atlantic City, which I just added. Madison, Wisconsin Milwaukee, Wisconsin Detroit, Michigan Cleveland, Columbus and Cincinnati, Ohio. Denver, Colorado Portland, Maine Providence, Rhode Island Springfield, Massachusetts Chicago, of course. Indianapolis, Indiana Louisville, Kentucky Albuquerque Mesa, Arizona Kansas City, Missouri St. Louis, Missouri Minneapolis, Minnesota Nashville, Tennessee Charlotte, North Carolina Durham, North Carolina. May 6, I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. Saratoga, California Monterey, California Modesto, California and Port Chester, New York. Boston, Massachusetts Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Go to chelseahandler.com for tickets if you want to come see me perform. I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Hi, Katherine.

[Katherine]

Hi Chelsea. How are you today?

[Chelsea Handler]

How are you?

[Katherine]

Oh, I'm good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh good. Oh good, good. Are you still on pelvic floor rest?

[Katherine]

I am hopefully going to be over that soon. We'll be able to have penetration.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's a good, that's a good way to get away from somebody.

[Katherine]

Be like, sorry, the doctor said a one night stand.

[Chelsea Handler]

Dan, you're like, you know what? At the very last minute, right when you're walking up to someone's hotel room, you're like, you know what? Actually I'm on pelvic rest.

[Katherine]

You know what? Sorry. Well, I do have an update. This is another like long term update like we had last time. But this is from Jay who called in on our Justin Long episode from a million years ago. But she was wondering if sexting is cheating. Her husband had been sexting someone. She caught him. I our advice was kind of like since he was really apologetic and open to counseling to give it another try. So she says, hi Katherine, I wanted to send an update. I went back through my emails to see how long ago this happened. Well, I should have left him back then. I forgave him and put my trust back in him this time. He cheated on me for real with one of my co workers. Gross. And she knew I was married. Her boyfriend saw her messages and thank God, sent me screenshots through Facebook. I'm trying to divorce, but my state makes you wait one year. I've been separated in the same house for three months and he still tries to fight for me, but I'm not interested. Thank you for the advice back then. Not sure you'll get this, but just wanted to use as a cautionary tale for others if you wanted. Thanks again, Jay.

[Chelsea Handler]

So what was the advice that I gave her to to get rid of him?

[Katherine]

No, we said like give him another chance because he was like really apologetic. I'll Go to counseling. I'm so sorry. And yeah. Failed her. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's nothing really good that comes from that. You know, if somebody's like sneaking around doing anything, it's going to lead to more things. It's like, you know, even if. Yeah. And some people are just like, good at really being a liar. They just want to lie and manipulate people. So, like, they're just a bad seed. Which is hard to kind of think about because when you're intimate or you're in a relationship or, you know, a marriage, you're like, oh, no. You blame yourself a lot because you're like, how did I not see all those warning signs? But it's pretty obvious when someone lies.

[Katherine]

Yeah. And it's kind of like you have to weigh, did they fuck up one time or is it like a habitual thing? Especially with the sexting. I think people can get really addicted to like the dopamine hit of like getting responses from somebody.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And I also think it's fair to give somebody a second chance. If somebody, if they fuck up, if they fuck up, like in a minor way, it's like, hey, I'm not cool with this. But when they fuck up in a major way, then it's kind of like, well, now you have like two red flags. So you have your answer.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So good for you for staying strong. You're gonna find another guy very shortly. They're everywhere.

[Katherine]

There is joy around the corner.

[Chelsea Handler]

For the first time ever, there has been a truly beautiful medical breakthrough. One shot makes you hot, but with terrifying consequences. In the new original series, FX's the Beauty, the glamorous world of supermodels turns deadly as mysterious deaths draw in FBI agents and a shadowy billionaire who will stop at nothing to protect his empire from executive producer Ryan Murphy. FX's the Beauty. Now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney for bundle subscribers far lost.

[Caller/Jane]

I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[Katherine]

Hi there.

[Caller/Jane]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[Chelsea Handler]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee.

[Caller/Jane]

Okay, here's those directions.

[Chelsea Handler]

Actually, can you point us in the.

[Katherine]

Direction of a T Mobile store?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

America's best network just got bigger switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our 5 year price guarantee and now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores. Best Mobile Network based on analysis by ookle of speedtest intelligence data 2h2025 bigger network the combination of T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance the T Mobile network's coverage price guarantee on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details. Support for the show comes from Public, the investing platform for those who take it seriously. On Public, you can build a multi asset portfolio of stocks, BO bonds, options, crypto and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one of a kind index and lets you back test it against the S&P 500. Then you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com, and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com podcast paid for by Public Investing Brokerage Services by Open to the Public Investing Inc. Member FINRA and SIPC Advisory Services by Public Advisors llc. SEC Registered Advisor Generated Assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete Disclosures available at public.comDisclosures Friday, February.

[Chelsea Handler]

6Th Kick off the Winter Olympics in style with the opening ceremony from Italy featuring a special performance by Mariah Carey. Celebrate the greatest athletes from around the globe as they come together to go for gold. Let's see for sensational the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics. Ilia Malin redefining this sport. Friday, February 6th on NBC.

[Katherine]

And Peacock, I think we're ready for our caller. This is Jane who's calling in Jade. Jane? Jane. Yeah, like 1950s Jane. So her subject was unplanned pregnancy. Not sure who the father was, she says. Dear Chelsea, I've always resonated to your bluntness and lack of respect for straight men. I'm 29 and have always known I want to be a mom. However, I have PTSD from sexual trauma at the hands of both men I trusted and men I didn't know. This has made it nearly impossible for Me to have a serious long term relationship with a man. I'd much rather be alone than let one live in my space and tell me what to do. I recently went on a little bit of a bender and slept with three different men in one weekend. I was ovulating and acting like a boy. My therapist says it's to feel in control again and a normal trauma reaction, but I feel bad for lying to all of them. My period was late and I took a test and it was positive. I grew up Catholic, so I knew my family would not be thrilled about this news. For context, I had an abortion a year ago and it clarified the fact that I do want kids. At the time, I didn't have a stable job. I have a good job now with good insurance, but I don't make a ton of money. I wanted to keep the baby, but my mom and sister specifically would probably have had to help me a lot. And I don't know if that's fair. After talking with them about how I wanted to keep the baby, they pressured me to end the pregnancy and I did. I know my very religious mom is ashamed of me and I'm not sure how to repair my relationship with her. Any help would be appreciated. Jane.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Jane. How are you?

[Caller/Jane]

Good. Nice to meet you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Nice to meet you. Okay, so what's the status with you and your mom? Your mom's upset with you for getting pregnant or for. For getting the abortion?

[Caller/Jane]

Both, it would seem. So I don't know, like, where we go from here, Because I had multiple conversations with her where I was like, I don't want to do this without you. Like, I'm not going to involve the father, so you would have to be a big part of me in this baby's life. And she told me, I can't do that for you. I can't be there for you in the way that you need. Which broke my heart. And I made the decision, okay, I'm not gonna. I don't wanna do this alone. It's really hard to be a single mom. Not that I couldn't have done it, but I chose not to. Now I'm feeling, like, isolated from my family because all of this vulnerable stuff happened. But then I'm also, like, isolated socially because I can't, like, date successfully. So I'm just kind of in a pickle.

[Chelsea Handler]

What do you mean you can't date successfully? Why do you say that?

[Caller/Jane]

Like, I have so much PTSD that normally it just turns out to be more like a bender. Like, what happened in September where, like, I kind of go crazy for a weekend and, like, sleep around a bunch, and it's fun, and I have fun. But then I'm like, okay, it would be cool if I had someone I could trust. And also, it would be cool if I met someone I could raise a kid with. But I feel like I'm giving up on that. And that's what my parents were saying to me is like, we feel like you're giving up. And that's what made me decide to get the abortion. But, yeah, I'm 29, so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, first of all, you're 29. You have your entire life ahead of you. That's nothing. So don't worry about that number. Okay. Are you working with a therapist right now?

[Caller/Jane]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, so you're working through all that stuff. So for you, like, for any other regular person who's just going out and doing that randomly or occasionally, that's okay, but if it's a result of the trauma that you endured, then that is a separate issue, right?

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because you're acting out and you're doing this for the reasons. So I think your transparency is really, like, great.

[Katherine]

A.

[Chelsea Handler]

That you're working with a therapist, that you were honest with your family. It's not your mom's responsibility to raise a child with you. It's an unfair ask. You know what I mean? She's not your partner. She already raised you. She raised your siblings. Like, it's just not fair. So I understand that you were disappointed in that reaction, but you have to get yourself into to a position a where you're with someone that you're ready to have a baby with, and then that's gonna be your partner. And when that does happen and you show the kind of maturity and growth that you're gonna be experiencing, like, from this phone call on and through your therapy and on, you're going to mend the relationship with your mom and your family members and everything. They just need to see that you're making changes in the right direction. Going out, having sex with three guys, getting pregnant, and then asking your mom to raise the baby doesn't give people a view of, oh, this girl's getting her shit together.

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah, I know. And I. And I can see their perspective. And I did, like, finally just get a real, real job with, like, benefits and everything. So I think I am kind of addicted to the chaos maybe a little bit. And that's what my therapist is working with me on. It's just, I feel like, what if I never find. I don't see a world where I'll ever, like, trust someone and want to like. You will.

[Chelsea Handler]

You will. Absolutely nothing is permanent. Your feelings right now, not permanent. They're just temporary and it's a result of something. So, like, you're in a situation. This is a great, like, growth edge for you. You're in a situation where you can, like, actually decide, okay, this is not how I want to behave anymore. I want to move forward. You know what you want? You want a partner, you want to have a baby? Move forward with those things in mind. Having benders with a bunch of random guys every weekend isn't getting you what you want. That's like a band aid that ends up hurting more in the long run.

[Caller/Jane]

Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, that's not how you want to have a baby. So if you really are looking, like, don't say, I'm never going to. I'm never going to. You're 29 years old. You don't know what you're going to do. You're going to have a lot of experiences and you're going to fall in love with people and you're going to have, like, all of those opportunities as long as you just make sure that's what you want to do and say to yourself, like, with intention, like, that's. That's what I'm doing now. And also, there's no harm in, like, you know, I don't, like, I'm not a big fan of declaring victory prematurely when you feel like you've gotten over a situation or you're feeling like you're kind of like blooming into a new person, so to speak. But, like, it's important to take that, be patient with your family, and in a few weeks time or whatever seems like an appropriate amount of time for you. I don't know how often you hang out with your family or with them, but just give them positive updates about the work and progress that you're making. You know, about your job, it's not all about men. It's not all about the baby. It should just be multidimensional. All the facets of your life, your friendships, this is what you're working on. This is what you're working on with your therapist. You don't have to get into detail, but just give them little updates to let them know that you are, like, working towards becoming a more, you know, reliable, responsible adult who's ready for a big responsibility.

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah. And I think that that is really good advice because sometimes I feel like, what can we talk about, though? Because there's a lot of like trauma in my past and my job is kind of boring and sometimes I feel like there's only like a handful of topics that I can talk to my family about. But you're right. Probably just talking about my goals and things that I am accomplishing would be better than.

[Chelsea Handler]

And books that you're reading, like you have to read a book, like a self help book that really made you understand or reminded you of your dynamic with your parents. Like all positive things, you know what I mean? Don't bring them into the trauma since it's already exposed and everyone knows about it. It's about you working to get out of it and working heal yourself. And that's your priority. Your priority isn't your family, your priority is yourself. But like, you know, your mental health and just sharing with them in a way that doesn't require them to carry any more of a burden in their minds. You know what I mean? Or responsibility, I think is a better choice of words.

[Caller/Jane]

I definitely wish I could go back in time and just not tell anybody in my family about any of the trauma or the pregnancies.

[Chelsea Handler]

Of course I know. But you know what? That's okay. You did. And they deserve to know because they're your family and they wanna know. It's just about. It's not what happens, it's how you handle what happens. You know, I mean, listen, it is what happens, but it's very much more how you handle coming out of that and what you do to heal after that. So I don't have any doubt that you're on your road. You're just in a vulnerable spot right now and you're feeling vulnerable, you know, and you're feeling alone. And I get it. But you have the ability to repair all of these relationships and make them grow and turn into the woman that you really wanna become and find the partner that you want.

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

Like, I know right now it feels like the trauma looms so large in your life and that like, that's your whole life. But as you keep working with your therapist and you get some distance and some perspective, like it will shrink as far as like how much space it takes up in your life. I also wanted to ask, not from a procreation standpoint, but just from a like a mood management perspective. Are you on birth control at all or.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

No?

[Caller/Jane]

No. And this is like been a thing for me. I have tried so many different types.

[Katherine]

I know some of them just really suck. Yes.

[Caller/Jane]

And they have made me so depressed. I tried the copper IUD When I was in college, and I've never had more painful periods. And then I tried to get the, like, least hormonal iud. Yes, the Mirena, I think.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Mm.

[Caller/Jane]

And it was horrible. There was, like, a practice, it was a doctor learning how to be a gynecologist, and they couldn't get it in, and so I just told them to stop.

[Katherine]

Which is great for someone who's already had sexual trauma. Good job.

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah.

[Katherine]

But when we're au natural, we have these, like, highs and lows with our hormones, right? And, like, when we're ovulating, we feel the most powerful, we get the most done, we feel amazing. But then it can also lead to, like, you know, going out and partying a little bit too much and sort of, you know, having to face the consequences of that. Whereas when you are in birth control, it gives you a little bit less of a high low. So you might talk to your doctor and see if there is a pill that could help just sort of, like, smooth the edges of that.

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah, I know. I think that if I could find a good option for me, that would be great, especially because, you know, I'm not going to be celibate, so I don't want to have a repeat of this situation next time I ovulate.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you have a female. Female doctor, Gynecologist?

[Caller/Jane]

No. Well, you should. I don't have a gynecologist right now.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, do you have health insurance?

[Caller/Jane]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, try and find a female gynecologist, and she's going to be much more adept at getting things inside you and also giving you the options of what's, like, what a good option for you is. I mean, there's a million things out there. I'm sure there's going to be something that's going to get along with your system. I mean, everyone needs it.

[Caller/Jane]

So that's good advice. Talk about positive things. Get on birth control. I think it's just hard because, like. Like you were saying, Catherine, like, it's so daunting. Like, I. I feel okay, you know, like, day to day. But, like, big picture, am I ever gonna be able, like, I don't know. I just got a text from, like, a witness protection person that the guy who assaulted me is going to be out of prison in a week. And, like, I don't have anybody really in this town. My family's not here. So it's just like, I wish I could talk to my mom and my sister about this stuff, but, like, it's too taboo. It's like, that's frustrating.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why is it too taboo? Like, what is their reaction to that subject matter?

[Caller/Jane]

They basically tell me not to talk about it, like, don't bring it up kind of stuff. Which is fine. Like, I have friends and a therapist. It's just my sister is very. She's turned to God and so now.

[Katherine]

She'S like, doesn't even want to hear.

[Caller/Jane]

She doesn't want to talk about abortion and like sexual assault is like, she can't handle talking about it.

[Katherine]

So you know what I think in addition to your therapist, see if there is like a group in your that is like a sexual assault survivors group that might be really helpful so you have another outlet that you can talk to people who've experienced the same thing, which, you know, maybe your therapist hasn't. That might be a good way to like. And you can talk about this. Like, I can't talk about this with my family. You know, how are your families reacting? And like, really get into it.

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah, that would just feel validating.

[Katherine]

I think especially with the freshness of like knowing this person is out, you know, that it might be good to like step up your self care in that way.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think that's a great idea because you're going to find out you're not the only person that. Whose family isn't always available for these kinds of conversations.

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah. And I don't want them. I don't want to keep traumatizing them.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. I hear you. I hear you.

[Katherine]

Well, will you follow up with us in a little bit?

[Caller/Jane]

Yeah. Thank you so much.

[Katherine]

All right, thanks for calling in. We wish you the best of luck.

[Caller/Jane]

Nice to meet you.

[Chelsea Handler]

You too.

[Caller/Jane]

Chelsea. I'm seeing you in February in Madison.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah, great. I'll be there. Madison, Wisconsin. I'm coming. Okay, take care. Keep us posted.

[Caller/Jane]

Okay, Bye, guys. Bye.

[Katherine]

What a sweetheart. Well, I mean, it's like a heavy topic, but I'm glad that this is a resource where people can come and talk about, you know, some of the not so fun parts of life, some of the worst parts of life.

[Chelsea Handler]

Families are so up, truly.

[Katherine]

And even the ones that mean well don't always know what to say.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, I like them when people don't know what to say. I like when people say, it is what it is. What does that mean? It is what it is. Is there anything more stupid than that sentence?

[Katherine]

Maybe like that it was meant to be or. You know what I mean when people.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are like, no, it's not that they say it like, well, it is what it is. It's like, what is it? It's not good enough.

[Katherine]

Should it be?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's not good enough.

[Katherine]

Why not? Agree.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Anyway, Katherine, I hope you have a wonderful, productive day. Okay.

[Katherine]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Godspeed, God bless America.

[Caller/Jane]

Bye.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin. I'm in D.C. february 13th, February 14th, Atlantic City, which I just added. 15th is Norfolk, Virginia. February 19th, Madison, Wisconsin. February 20th is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February 21st, Detroit, Michigan. February 22nd, Ramah, Ontario. That's Canada for those of you who don't speak Canadia. March 13, Cleveland, Ohio. March 14, Columbus, Ohio. March 15, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March 20 is Denver, Colorado. March 27, Portland, Maine. March 28, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10 is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12, Louisville, Kentucky. April 16 is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17 is Mesa, Arizona. April 23 is Kansas City City, Missouri. April 24 is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25 is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1 is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2 is Durham, North Carolina. May 6, I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. And May 15th, Saratoga, California. May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California. And then June 4th, Portchester, New York. June 5th is Boston, Mass. And June 12th is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is June 13th. So suck on that. Everybody go to chelseahandler.com for tickets.

[Katherine]

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earchelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our [e-mail].

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