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Chelsea Handler
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human after the Big Game like most people, I kept thinking about the commercials and there was one that stayed with me. It was from the Blue Square Alliance Against Hate and it wasn't loud or flashy. It showed a Jewish kid being targeted at school and another student who chose not to ignore it. As someone who was Jewish, that moment felt very real to me. Not dramatic, just familiar. And what struck me was how clearly it showed that hate doesn't always announce itself, but the impact is still huge. If you saw the Blue Square spot during the Big Game, it's worth thinking about. And if you want to show support, sharing the Blue Square is one small way to do that. Since I want the absolute best for my Chow Chow Doug I am making the switch to Ollie. Your dog's well being starts with their food and that's why Ollie delivers fresh human grade food that your dog will love. So head to ollie.com Chelsea and use code Chelsea to get 60% off your welcome kit or when you subscribe today. Plus they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box so if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's Ollie O L L I E.com Chelsea and enter code Chelsea to get 60% off your first box. From coast to coast, Unlock adventure at Red Lion Hotel by Sonesta, where restful sleep, friendly service and local knowledge await. Whether for business or pleasure, spend less and make more of every trip or when you sign up for Sonesta Travel Pass, you'll get the best rates instantly. Go to sonesta.com to book your stay and unlock the best rates with Sonesta Travel Pass here today, Rome tomorrow. Join now@sonesta.com Terms and conditions apply.
Erin Levine
Did you know that 95% of divorces never go to trial? I'm Erin Levine. I spent 20 years as a divorce attorney and I built hello Divorce to be different. Smart technology to simplify every form and filing, plus access to lawyers, financial experts and mediators. With over 15,000 divorces, hello divorce is 90% cheaper, 2/3 faster and the highest rated online Divorce platform on Trustpilot. Find your way forward at hellodivorce.com iheart.
Chelsea Handler
Okay guys, the high and Mighty tour is about to begin. Tour starts on February 13th everybody. DC I will see you there. To jump things off February 14th Atlantic City, which I just added Madison, Wisconsin Milwaukee, Wisconsin Detroit, Michigan Cleveland, Columbus and Cincinnati, Ohio Denver, Colorado Portland, Maine Providence, Rhode Island Springfield, Massachusetts April 3rd, which is in Rohnert Park, California that has just been added. Chicago, of course. Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Mesa, Arizona. Kansas City, Missouri. St. Louis, Missouri. Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Tennessee. Charlotte, North Carolina. Durham, North Carolina. May 6th, I'm doing Netflix as a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. Saratoga, California. Monterey, California, Modesto, California and Port Chester, New York. Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Go to chelseahandler.com for tickets if you want to come see me perform. I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Hi, Katherine. Welcome to a Minisode. Welcome to a dear Chelsea Minisode.
Kathryn Law
It's actually very exciting. We're doing these on video now because we're on Netflix.
Chelsea Handler
Hi, Netflix. Hello.
Kathryn Law
Hi, Netflix.
Chelsea Handler
Hello. I'll see you at the Netflix is a joke festival on the 6th of May.
Kathryn Law
And people can just get tickets to that right on chelseahandler.com, yeah, the best.
Chelsea Handler
Place to get tickets for my show is chelseahandler.com, so you don't get gouged by Ticketmaster.
Kathryn Law
Okay, perfect. Well, I've got some follow ups from a couple previous callers. So one is from our Haley Lou Richardson episode. She was dating online and kind of lived in a small town and was thinking about moving to a bigger city for more opportunity. The advice had been kind of like dip your toe in the water, set your hinge settings to a wider array of people and like the cities. Cause you can always travel there if you're close by. So Lauren says. I just wanted to send an update that I am officially moving to Madison, Wisconsin, May 1st. I just wanted to say thanks again for the awesome opportunity to be on the show and to Chelsea for her great advice. I see that Chelsea has a show in St. Louis on April 24. I plan to attend with friends and can't wait. Thank you, Lauren.
Chelsea Handler
Oh, great.
Kathryn Law
So that's exciting.
Chelsea Handler
Big one. So she moved.
Kathryn Law
Yes, yes.
Chelsea Handler
Love it, love it. I love it. I love it.
Kathryn Law
Yes. You're always encouraging people to take big moves and it's nice to hear when people do.
Chelsea Handler
I'm always encouraging people to move.
Kathryn Law
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
That really changes the energy up.
Kathryn Law
It does, it does. You know, somebody was saying, this is Caleb Heron, who I don't know if you're familiar with him, he's an amazing, hilarious comic. But he was saying he's like, I, he was living in la, he's like, I felt like I needed to sort of shake my life up in every way just a little bit. So he still travels here a lot, but he Moved to, like, Missouri. And it's just like having a great time.
Chelsea Handler
I feel like Nikki lives in St. Louis, Missouri. Nikki glazing.
Kathryn Law
I feel like she does too. I'm pretty sure she does. Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
Because she wants to. Yeah. I don't know if she still does, but I think. And she wasn't living with her parents. She just moved there because she's from there. I think during COVID a lot of people just moved back to wherever they like more. You know, once you realize you don't have to be anywhere for anything.
Kathryn Law
Yeah. Or like Haley Lou moved to Arizona.
BetterHelp Narrator
Haley Lou.
Chelsea Handler
My family too. Yeah.
Kathryn Law
Yeah. Well, our next follow up is from Ethan. He called in on a minisode. He was the guy who was having like a long distance relationship with someone in Chicago. He's in California. And they were like toying with whether the guy would move. He was very in love, very tearful. So Ethan says, hey there. Hope you're doing well. I wanted to give you an update. The boy from Chicago and I have worked everything out. We've decided to be long distance friends for now and let things develop naturally. It feels healthy and pressure free. And I'm genuinely happy he's still in my life to just in a way that makes sense for both of us. Ethan. So not a big move there.
Chelsea Handler
We haven't ruined any lives yet.
Kathryn Law
Not yet. Not today.
Chelsea Handler
Not today.
Kathryn Law
No.
Chelsea Handler
Tola via.
Kathryn Law
Okay, well, we'll take a quick break and we'll get back into our color when we get back.
Chelsea Handler
Okay. After the Big Game, like everyone else, I had opinions about the commercials because of course I did. And there was one that I couldn't stop thinking about from the Blue Square Alliance Against Hate. It showed a Jewish kid being targeted at school, not in some overproduced movie scene way, but in a way that felt very real and very relatable. And as someone who is Jewish, I can tell you those moments are not small, even when people try to treat them that way. What the ad captured so well is that antisemitism doesn't always show up yelling. Sometimes it's quiet, sometimes it's casual, and the impact is still huge. The response in the ad wasn't perfect or dramatic. It was human, which, honestly, is what can actually make a difference. So if you saw the Blue Square alliance commercial during the Big Game, I hope you really watched it. And if you want to show support, sharing the Blue Square is an easy way to say you noticed and that you care. You can also learn more by following and upto Jewish Hate on Instagram or TikTok or by visiting standuptojewishhate.org dump skincare companies that make billions by making us feel like getting older is a bad thing. It isn't. I'm 50 years old and guess what? I love it. I have earned this face. That's why I wanted to talk to you guys about froia Organics, a company that actually gets it. They know they're not going to magically make you look like you're 20 again. And honestly, you need acid washed jeans and crimped hair to do that anyway. And I'm not looking to look like I'm 20 again. What they will do is work with your skin to make it look and feel the healthiest for your age. They do this by using wild arctic plants that survive in some of the harshest environments on the planet. Plants like arnica and sea buckthorn are packed with antioxidants and omegas that increase collagen production while repairing the skin's natural barrier. It's like the equivalent of going vegan for your face, minus the pretension and hemp bracelets. No fillers, no bullshit, just natural ingredients that your face will love. Go and check out froyaorganics.com now and get 40% off. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Sometimes it can feel like everyone else has it all together in their love lives. Whether married, dating or single, the truth is, most of us are still figuring it out and finding our way. And no matter where you are in your romantic journey, therapy can help you find your way. Help you determine what what you want, what feels heavy, and how you could take some pressure off yourself. I get it. February is full of flowers, candy, stuffed animals, Valentine's Day, and of course lots of talk about relationships and dating. And no matter where you are, whether you're married or dating or single or just focusing on you, you're right on time. Therapy can help you find your way and see more clearly where you wanna be. And that's why there's BetterHelp. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the us. They do the initial matching work for you to so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, and their years of experience mean they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. Sign up and get 10% off@betterhelp.com DearChelsea that's betterhelp.com DearChelsea, you know that I'm always down for sexy lingerie and Fleur du Mal never misses. The female founded luxury lingerie and fashion brand believes in the transformative power of sensuality. It is about confidence, a little mischief and serious sex appeal even if no one else sees what you are wearing underneath. Fleur de Mal's bras, bodysuits and slip dresses fit like magic. The name literally means naughty flower and the designs fully deliver on that promise. Think bias cut slip dresses in rich silk, decadent French lace lingerie and everyday styles that are equal parts beautiful, sexy and actually comfortable. These are the pieces you put on once and then keep reaching for again and again. With stores in soho, Williamsburg and West Hollywood, Fleur de Mal has become a go to for women who want elevated essentials with an edge. You can shop everything on fleur de mal.com from lingerie and ready to wear to chic pleasure accessories that are beautiful enough to leave out. Fleur de Mal is the brand you turn to when you want to feel like your sexiest, most confident self. And we're back.
Kathryn Law
We are back. So our caller today is Marie and she's having some wedding potential wedding drama. So she says. Dear Chelsea, I'm a 28 year old woman and I'm getting married next year. My fiance and I are having a destination wedding which means we're working with a strict guest cap of 100 people due to venue restrictions. We both live very full lives and have a lot of friends, so getting a final guest list took forever. I have a large friend group of about 20 girls from college. We stayed close for the last 10 years, talk regularly in various group chats, and take annual girls trips together.
Erin Levine
Together.
Kathryn Law
There are a small handful of women from this group who I adore but don't keep up with one on one who didn't make the guest list. I feel confident in this decision to not invite them and I think they'll completely understand and agree about our level of closeness. However, I'm dreading the way they'll find out. Save the dates are going out soon and I know the group chat will inevitably be full of photos of people receiving these save the dates and general excitement around the event. I hate the idea of these few women finding out they're the only ones not invited because they didn't get one. So my question is, is it better to say nothing and let the sunfold naturally, or is there a kind, mature way to acknowledge it ahead of time without making things awkward? Does addressing it Beforehand create unnecessary discomfort or is actually the more respectful move. I'm in a situation where it feels like I'm too close with them to not address it, but not close enough to actually invite them. You're the queen of sisterhood and what it means to be honest and a good friend. So I'd love your opinion. Marie.
Chelsea Handler
Hi, Marie. Hi. Hi. You're so cute.
Marie (Caller)
Oh my God. Thank you.
Chelsea Handler
You're welcome. How many?
Marie (Caller)
So you're cute.
Chelsea Handler
How many of the girls did you. Out of the 20 girls, were you not able to invite?
Kathryn Law
3.
Marie (Caller)
Which is horrible because I feel like if it was a bigger group, it was half of them. This is self explanatory. I would just let it play out naturally. But the small group makes it feel targeted and I just don't like it.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. And there's no way to include them even without guests, if you could.
Marie (Caller)
Not really. I. I've just compromised so much with my fiance. Like my friends already take up the whole event. I have to let him invite people from his life too. So I just feel like, again, I'm like confident in the decision not to invite them and I don't think that they would be shocked. I just, I don't like the idea of, of being like, I didn't receive mine.
Kathryn Law
And that's.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, no, I definitely think three is a tricky number to leave out out of 20. So I think that's a little sensitive. So I think you should be. You should treat it with some sensitivity and reach out to the three girls beforehand and maybe there's something nice you can do for them that doesn't involve inviting them to your wedding or sending them a nice card or.
Kathryn Law
That's a great idea.
Chelsea Handler
I mean, you want them to find out sooner than later. But I think you should definitely say something before. Just say, listen, it was huge compromise to get as many people as I wanted to. Wanted to invite to this. Like we, we have a limit and we have limited. We have a limited capacity. I know you guys will totally understand, but I just wanted to let you know that I wasn't able to invite everyone from our group, you know, and that makes it clear that they're not invited to the thing. But I definitely think you should reach out before they find out another way. And just. And you can also say, I know you're gonna understand, I'm sure. Have any of the three been married? Have they been through this experience?
Marie (Caller)
Yeah, one of them has. And I think like what adds a different dynamic to this is I'm the first one that's ever not invited the whole group. Like, we very much are a group that just. We just are like, come one, come all. We all love to hang out together. So I think that's like, playing in my mind a little bit. I'm like, I have to be the first one that's like, creating some sort of smaller group, which. Which kind of sucks. But. Yeah, I just have never really heard. I, like, I love your advice, but I'd never really heard of somebody, like, telling someone they're not invited to a party before they.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, yeah, I know, but. But I. I think it's a nice thing to do considering that everything you keep saying just reinforces the fact that I think you should do it. Like, if they've all been included in everything, I think you should double down and listen, your friendship is very meaningful to me. I don't want you to take this as a sign that it's not. I still want the 20 of us to do things in groups and all of those in your own words, obviously. But I don't want you to take not being invited to my wedding as a personal affront. I actually tried to figure out every way I could do this, and it's just not possible for me to go over the amount of people that I have right now, you know, and lay it out for them. But I think it will be appreciated more so than them finding out, because then there's awkwardness and there's tension. So, like, just get rid of the tension before there is any.
Kathryn Law
Yeah. And I love the idea of sending them something, whether it's like a little box of chocolates or some flowers, and then really, really hit like, the nail on the head of, like, I had. There are a hundred people. My husband has a big family, et cetera, et cetera. Like, blame it on the venue. Having that cap, I think is helpful too. That way it's not just like, oh, well, you know, we wanted to have a small way. You know, it's like, really, There's a strict number.
Marie (Caller)
I like it. I mean, I. Yeah, I had a feeling I should address it. So it kind of answers my.
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, of course.
Marie (Caller)
That's why I came here, I guess. But, yeah, something felt wrong about just not saying anything. Just, like, happen. Especially because we are so active in different group chats. I think that's just like the. The day and age now. Everything is online and in different. Everyone's sharing everything 24 7.
Kathryn Law
So you might also think about the girls that are invited maybe just having a separate group chat being like, hey. Not everyone from our big group is invited, but I wanted to have a separate chat here since it's a destination wedding and making plans and just kind of letting them know not everybody from the group is getting a save the date. But you guys will get yours soon, and I'm so excited to have you, et cetera.
Chelsea Handler
I love it.
Marie (Caller)
Well, thank you.
Erin Levine
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
Okay.
Marie (Caller)
Yeah, the number's small, so it's weird. I hate that the number's three.
Chelsea Handler
I know. I don't like that either, so that's what's bumping me.
Kathryn Law
I know, I know, I know, I know.
Marie (Caller)
Yeah. I would like to expand it, but I can't. There's groups that live together. There's, like, a whole dynamic that I just. I'm trying to navigate, so. I'm thankful, though, that I have such a great group of friends.
Chelsea Handler
So. Yeah. And make sure you put that at the end of the letter. Just say, I'm really grateful. You know, this is just one of the things that I'm not able to negotiate or mess with right now. So, I mean, I hope to make it up to you in the future in some way. Yeah.
Marie (Caller)
Unless people say no. Then they can be on the second tier. But that feels worse, right?
Kathryn Law
Yeah.
Chelsea Handler
Right?
Kathryn Law
Yeah.
Marie (Caller)
I don't like this.
Chelsea Handler
Well, you're getting married. Try and focus on the positive, I guess.
Marie (Caller)
True. Very true. Yeah.
Kathryn Law
All right, Marie, thank you.
Chelsea Handler
Okay. Thanks for calling in.
Kathryn Law
Have so much fun.
Marie (Caller)
Bye.
Chelsea Handler
Bye.
Kathryn Law
Bye. All right, well, that's our minisode for today, Chelsea.
Chelsea Handler
Okay. Love it. Wonderful. Wonderful. Okay, guys, the High and Mighty Tour is about to begin. I'm in D.C. february 13th. February 14th, Atlantic City, which I just added. 15th is Norfolk, Virginia. February 19th, Madison, Wisconsin. February 20th is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. February 21st, Detroit, Michigan. February 22nd, Rama, Ontario. That's Canada, for those of you who don't speak Canadian. March 13, Cleveland, Ohio. March 14, Columbus, Ohio. March 15, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March 20 is Denver, Colorado. March 27, Portland, Maine. March 28, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10 is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12, Louisville, Kentucky. April 16 is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17 is Mesa, Arizona. April 23 is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24 is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25 is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1 is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2 is Durham, North Carolina. May 6, I'm doing Netflix is a Joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement. And May 15th, Saratoga, California. May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California and then June 4th, Portchester, New York. June 5th is Boston, Mass. And June 12th is Portland, Oregon and then Seattle is June 13th. So suck on that everybody. Go to chelseahandler.com for tickets.
Kathryn Law
If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to dearchelsea podcastmail.com Dear Chelsea is a production of I Heart Media. Follow Chelsea on all socials Chelsea Handler and Find Kathryn on TikTok ashcadabra Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert Executive Producer Kathryn Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live@chelsea handler.com.
Chelsea Handler
You know that I'm always down for sexy lingerie and fleur de mel never misses this female founded luxury lingerie and fashion brand believes in the transformative power of sensuality. It is all about confidence, a little mischief and serious sex appeal even if no one else sees what you are wearing. Their bras, bodysuits and slip dresses fit like magic. Think rich silk slip dresses, decadent French lace lingerie, and everyday styles that are sexy and comfortable enough to wear on repeat. You can shop everything on floridamal.com from lingerie and ready to wear to chic pleasure accessories. That's Florida Mal.com find home wherever you roam at Sinesta Es and simply Suites. Stretch out and enjoy home like amenities for however long you need. And when you're a Sonesta Travel Pass member, staying at Sonesta Es and simply suites means earning points towards free nights, upgrades and more. Go to sonesta.com to book your stay and unlock the best rates with Sonesta Travel Pass here today, Rome tomorrow. Join now@sonesta.com Terms and conditions apply.
Erin Levine
Did you know that 95% of divorces never go to trial? I'm Erin Levine. I spent 20 years as a divorce attorney and I built hello Divorce to be different. Smart technology to simplify every form and filing, plus access to lawyers, financial experts and mediators. With over 15,000 divorces, hello Divorce is 90% cheaper, 2/3 faster, and the highest rated online Divorce platform on TrustPilot. Find your way forward at hellodivorce.com iheart a BetterHelp ad.
BetterHelp Narrator
We get it. February is full of flowers, candy and of course lots of talk about relationships. It can feel like everyone else has it all together in their love lives, but the truth is, we're all still figuring it out. Whether you're working on your marriage, navigating the dating apps, or prioritizing staying single, no matter where you are, you're right on time therapy can help you find your way and take some of the pressure off yourself so you can determine what you want, what feels heavy, and how you can feel lighter. Just a little bit of outside perspective from a professional can lead to new understanding and a lot of progress. So the next time you're feeling iffy about your love life, try therapy with BetterHelp and see where it takes you. And remember, you're right on time. Visit betterhelp.com for 10% off. That's betterhelp.com this is an iHeart podcast.
Chelsea Handler
Guaranteed human.
Date: February 13, 2026
Podcast: Dear Chelsea (iHeartPodcasts)
Hosts: Chelsea Handler & Kathryn Law
This minisode centers around listener follow-ups and a candid advice session about wedding guest list drama. Chelsea Handle and Kathryn Law offer their signature blend of humor, empathy, and practical wisdom, responding to how listeners’ lives have evolved after their advice and helping one caller navigate the difficult decision of not inviting some friends to a destination wedding.
Follow-Up from Lauren
“I am officially moving to Madison, Wisconsin, May 1st…thanks again for the awesome opportunity to be on the show and to Chelsea for her great advice.” – Lauren [04:13]
Hosts’ Reflections on Moving and Shaking Things Up
“I'm always encouraging people to move. That really changes the energy up.” – Chelsea Handler [04:44]
Follow-Up from Ethan
“We’ve decided to be long distance friends for now and let things develop naturally. It feels healthy and pressure free.” – Ethan [05:48]
Hosts Reflect on Not Ruining Lives
“We haven’t ruined any lives yet.” – Chelsea Handler [06:06]
Caller: Marie, 28, about to get married
Situation:
Marie is having a destination wedding with a strict 100-person cap. She’s part of a tight-knit college friend group of about 20 women, but can only invite 17 of them. She feels confident in the decision but worries about the feelings of the 3 friends not invited and is anxious about how to handle their inevitable discovery when save-the-dates go out.
Advice Segment: [10:26–16:58]
Is it better to say nothing and let it play out, or to address the guest exclusion beforehand with kindness and tact?
Chelsea’s Initial Take:
“I definitely think three is a tricky number to leave out out of 20. So I think that's a little sensitive. So I think you should treat it with some sensitivity and reach out to the three girls beforehand…” – Chelsea Handler [12:52]
Practical Suggestions:
Marie’s Concern:
“If they've all been included in everything, I think you should double down…your friendship is very meaningful to me. I don't want you to take this as a sign that it's not…But I think it will be appreciated more so than them finding out, because then there's awkwardness and there's tension.” [14:16]
Kathryn’s Suggestions:
“Not everyone from our big group is invited, but I wanted to have a separate chat here since it's a destination wedding...and just kind of letting them know not everybody from the group is getting a save the date.” – Kathryn Law [15:47]
Marie’s Reflection:
Chelsea’s Parting Wisdom:
| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|--------------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 04:44 | Chelsea Handler | “I'm always encouraging people to move. That really changes the energy up.” | | 05:48 | Ethan (via email) | “We’ve decided to be long distance friends for now and let things develop naturally. It feels healthy and pressure free.” | | 12:52 | Chelsea Handler | “I definitely think three is a tricky number to leave out out of 20. So I think that's a little sensitive…” | | 14:16 | Chelsea Handler | “If they've all been included in everything, I think you should double down…your friendship is very meaningful to me. I don't want you to take this as a sign that it's not.” | | 15:47 | Kathryn Law | “Not everyone from our big group is invited…just kind of letting them know not everybody from the group is getting a save the date.” | | 16:52 | Chelsea Handler | “Well, you’re getting married. Try and focus on the positive, I guess.” |
The episode maintains Chelsea and Kathryn’s trademark friendly, candid, and irreverent tone. They approach sensitive questions with empathy but aren’t afraid to be direct or inject humor. The conversational flow, honesty, and relatability are consistent throughout, making the advice feel both actionable and emotionally resonant.
This minisode highlights the ongoing relationships Dear Chelsea has with its listeners—many return to share how Chelsea’s advice shaped their choices. The main advice segment offers an honest, compassionate strategy for excluding friends from a milestone event without damaging longstanding bonds. The episode is both entertaining and filled with real-life wisdom for anyone navigating adulthood’s tricky social situations.