Minisode: The Cola Cure with Chelsea + Catherine

Summary

Dear Chelsea Minisode: The Cola Cure with Chelsea + Catherine

Release Date: May 16, 2025

Introduction

In this engaging minisode of Dear Chelsea, hosted by Chelsea Handler and co-hosted by Catherine Law, listeners are treated to a candid and humorous recounting of Chelsea's tumultuous weekend. As always, the episode seamlessly blends personal anecdotes with relatable humor, offering both laughter and heartfelt moments for the audience.

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1. An Eventful Weekend in New York and Las Vegas

Chelsea opens the episode by sharing details of her whirlwind trip to New York, where she was involved in shooting an ad campaign. The excitement is palpable as she describes the joy of reconnecting with friends from various places, including Martha's Vineyard, Los Angeles, Vermont, Portland, and even England.

At [03:11], Chelsea recounts her move to Las Vegas for a show at the Cosmopolitan:

"It was one of my favorite shows so far in Vegas. I love this residency. It's been so joyful." [03:50]

Although Vegas isn't typically her favorite destination, the opportunity to perform at the Chelsea Theater was irresistible. The residency transformed her perception of the city, turning it into a fun and vibrant experience surrounded by a diverse group of friends.

2. Gambling Adventures and Friendships

Chelsea delves into her gambling escapades in Vegas, highlighting her generous nature:

"When I gamble, I give everyone money because I don't want anyone to think that they have to gamble. I just want them to know they do have to gamble. But they're gonna gamble with my money." [04:02]

This lighthearted approach paid off as she proudly shares:

"We all won. I walked away with $1,100 of my own money." [04:18]

The camaraderie and shared victories added to the joyous atmosphere of her Vegas experience.

3. A Night of Dancing and Unexpected Illness

The fun continues with an evening of dancing that stretches into the early hours of the morning. However, Chelsea's adventure takes an unexpected turn:

"We went out dancing till 4 o'clock in the morning. And then I got home at 4." [04:18]

Her subsequent flight back to Vancouver is fraught with exhaustion, leading to a series of unfortunate events. Chelsea describes her desperate attempt to make it home:

"I was so sick. I thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital. And they were like, oh yeah, what's at the Whistler Hospital? Like, it's like a clinic. I'm like, they're not gonna be able to even save me." [07:05]

4. Battling Severe Food Poisoning

Chelsea provides a vivid account of her battle with severe food poisoning, emphasizing the intensity of her symptoms:

"From 2:00am to 9:00am, no, I vomited probably 16 times. Had explosive diarrhea." [06:17]

Her struggle is both harrowing and relatable, showcasing her vulnerability:

"The cramps, the fever, the chills, the diarrhea, the vomiting. I thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital." [06:57]

Desperate for relief, Chelsea recounts the pivotal moment when a simple Coke transformed her ordeal:

"Are there any Cokes upstairs? Are there any Cokes?" [07:38]

The Coke not only alleviated her vomiting but also marked the beginning of her recovery, albeit still ongoing:

"I feel like somebody took two slingshots and shot them right into my kidneys." [07:53]

5. Recovery and Reflections

As Chelsea continues to recover, she reflects on the factors that may have contributed to her illness:

"It's food poisoning. I mean, I felt like I was being attacked." [08:53]

Her candid admission underscores the unpredictable nature of such health issues:

"I just gave up at some point and brought the wastebasket out towards my bed, which is actually something I've never done." [09:05]

6. Personal Updates: Son Doug's Staycation

Shifting to a lighter tone, Chelsea shares updates about her son, Doug, who is staying with her friend Cynthia during her European tour. She highlights the joys of seeing Doug enjoy the outdoors:

"Doug just follows her. And I was like, you know what? It's nicer to leave him here..." [14:01]

Their interaction during her illness adds a heartfelt layer to the episode:

"He was trying to check on me. It was really cute." [14:40]

7. Upcoming Tours and Performances

Chelsea enthusiastically outlines her upcoming tour schedule, both in Europe and Las Vegas:

"I'm coming abroad is my European tour, so I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad." [16:02]

She provides a comprehensive list of cities she plans to visit, including London, Paris, Berlin, and more, demonstrating her commitment to connecting with fans worldwide.

In Las Vegas, Chelsea announces her residency dates:

"Summertime is coming, and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo... July 5th, August 30th, and then November 1st and 29th." [16:12]

Catherine adds excitement about a special guest:

"Yamaneika we just recorded with her, that won't be out yet by the time this comes out, but she's so hysterical." [15:16]

8. Closing Remarks

As the episode wraps up, Chelsea reiterates her upcoming engagements and heartfelt thanks to her listeners:

"Okay, thank you." [15:40]

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• "When I gamble, I give everyone money because I don't want anyone to think that they have to gamble." — Chelsea Handler [04:02]

• "We all won. I walked away with $1,100 of my own money." — Chelsea Handler [04:18]

• "I thought I was gonna have to go to the hospital." — Chelsea Handler [06:57]

• "Are there any Cokes upstairs? Are there any Cokes?" — Chelsea Handler [07:38]

• "I feel like somebody took two slingshots and shot them right into my kidneys." — Chelsea Handler [07:53]

• "I'm coming abroad is my European tour, so I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad." — Chelsea Handler [16:02]

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Conclusion

In this minisode of Dear Chelsea, Chelsea Handler delivers a blend of humor, vulnerability, and personal updates that resonate with listeners. From her entertaining adventures in Las Vegas to the harrowing experience of severe food poisoning, Chelsea's storytelling is both engaging and relatable. The episode also provides fans with exciting news about her upcoming tours, ensuring that they stay connected and eagerly anticipate her next performances. Through candid conversations and heartfelt moments, Chelsea and Catherine offer a snapshot of the highs and lows of a vibrant and dynamic life.

Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast.

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[Chelsea Handler]

All right, listen up people. It is Chelsea Handler and we need to talk about something really important. Orgasms. You heard me right. Orgasms. If you're not making them a priority, pinkcherry.com is there to fix that. Orgasms can boost your mood, lower stress, and even help you sleep better. That's probably why people do it right before they go to bed. And let's face it, with stress levels rising faster than anything else these days, we we could all use a little release, if you know what I mean. So if you care about your sexual health. And seriously, who doesn't, head over to pinkcherry.com they've got everything you could ever imagine to help you get there. From the iconic magic wand to WE Vibe's collection of couples toys to the game changing womanizer. Pink Cherry has a curated collection of hundreds of the best brands to make sure you're having the best time of your life. Whether you're flying solo or inviting someone else to the party. Make your sexual health a priority. Head to pinkcherry.com and save up to 80% off site wide pleasure is just a click away. Pinkcherry.com if you know you owe okay, let's talk about your liver. I know it's not the most glamorous organ, but it does a lot of heavy lifting, from digestion to detoxification, even keeping you energized after those weekend wine nights. We all love a good cocktail, but let's be real. Our liver needs a little help. And that's where LiverMD comes in. It is formulated by one MD Nutrition's team of scientists and doctors. Backed by clinical research and trusted by over 3.5 million people. 80% of LiverMD users saw improvements in their liver test results, plus more energy, less bloating and better digestion. Visit onemd.org and use code Chelsea to save 15% on your first order this episode of Dear Chelsea is brought to you by Almond Joy. With its perfect blend of real creamy, coconut, rich chocolatey taste and a satisfying almond crunch, Almond Joy is the taste that simply takes you away. Yes, those blissful tropical flavors will have you feeling sunny vibes and ocean breezes in every bite. In fact, Almond Joy is the ticket to such a sweet, indulgent, laid back escape you'll want to return again and again. Side note, this was my mother's favorite candy, so it's definitely one of mine. Grab the cream, creamy coconut and chocolatey crunch of Almond Joy today and taste paradise.

Hi, Katherine.

[Katherine]

Hi, Chelsea. How are you?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I almost died this weekend.

[Katherine]

Oh my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

A couple of times.

[Katherine]

What happened?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I had a whirlwind weekend. A whirlwind week. I went to New York, I shot an ad campaign that I'm pretty excited about. Had a couple of fun nights out. Very innocent as usual. Always innocent with me. You know, of course I saw lots of friends. That was really joyful. Then I flew to Vegas. I had a show, my show at the Cosmo. I had about 17, 20 friends that came out for that. All randos. Some from Martha's Vineyard, some from la, some from Vermont, some from Portland, some from England. We all went out. That was not an innocent night. We went out.

[Katherine]

That's in Vegas. Of course.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was one of my favorite shows so far in Vegas. I love this residency. It's been so joyful. And you know, I'm not that big of a fan of Vegas, I have to be honest. But when they offered it, they said it was the Chelsea Theater at the. You know, I just can't have that. You can't say yes.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's turned into such a fun thing. Cause so many of my friends come out and we gambled after. And you know, when I gamble, I give everyone money because I don't want anyone to think that they have to gamble. I just want them. I want them to know they do have to gamble. But they're gonna gamble with my money.

We all won.

We all won money. I walked away with $1,100 of my own money.

[Katherine]

Fabulous.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then we went out dancing. This was a mistake. We went out dancing till 4 o' clock in the morning. And then I got home at 4. My friend Sophie got into my bed with me. And at around 5:45am, my cousin Molly walked in and said, it's time to get in the car. Your flight back to Vancouver is at 7:40. And I said yes, I was aware of this. But of course had, you know, I was asleep. So I got up, I went in the car, I flew to Vegas. I mean, sorry. I flew from Vegas to Vancouver. Luckily, no one was on the plane because Canadians don't want to come to America anymore. So there's no one going back since they're all getting fucking detained. And I flew and I got in the car, I had to go pick up Doug from my friend Cynthia's house. Then I drove from Vancouver to Whistler, which is like a two hour drive. I got my first Canadian speeding ticket because that's how quickly I was just dying.

[Katherine]

Trying to make it in an hour and a half.

[Chelsea Handler]

Dying to get back into my bed. Just dying to go to sleep. Yeah, Begging. I got home, the woman with the police officer was very nice. She gave me a reduction for absolutely no reason. I don't know if you think she knew who I was. And I got home, I fell asleep. I was like, let. Me and my friends were staying at my house that live in Vancouver. Sometimes friends come up for the weekend and stay here when I'm not here. And I said, they, they said, okay, well, we'll leave you alone. You're tired. I said, no, no, I just need a couple of hours of sleep and then we can all go to dinner at Sushi. I had a couple hours of sleep. I woke up, I didn't feel great, obviously, but I felt like, okay, like.

[Katherine]

Jet laggy tired, just not jet laggy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Just hungover, but like, I could rally. It's just dinner.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I got home from Sushi, probably one of the best meals I've ever had. At 2 o' clock in the morning, I was like, something's off. And you know when you're feeling nauseated and you go to your right and then you go to your left. Anything but your back, right?

[Katherine]

Yep.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then from 2:00am to 9:00am, no, I vomited probably 16 times. Had explosive diarrhea. Not only in the toilet. I was so sick. And my friend Janika was in my bedroom and her son Calvin was there too. Calvin, you could check out on my Instagram. He's always represented.

He's 14.

And I was so sick. I haven't had food poisoning in years and I haven't thrown up in years. I mean, the cramps, the fever, the chills, the diarrhea, the vomiting. I thought I was gonna have to.

Go to the hospital.

And they were like, oh, yeah, what's at the Whistler Hospital? Like, it's like a clinic. I'm like, they're not Gonna be able to even save me.

[Katherine]

They're there for like ankle breaks and stuff.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly. And I couldn't even bring myself to call for Janika. That's how weak I was. So finally, like, I was up from 2 to 9am finally when I heard her, I was like, janika. And she came and she's like, oh, my God. Oh my God. I'm like, oh, my God. I need an iv. I need an iv. My kidneys were like throbbing, throbbing, throbbing.

[Katherine]

Yikes.

[Chelsea Handler]

This was yesterday morning. And I was in such. Finally, I would take a sip of ginger ale and just throw it up 30 seconds later.

But I was so thirsty that I.

Was like, I have to just like swish, like swish it around my mouth at least, like something. And then finally I was like, can you just. Is there. Are there. Are there any Cokes upstairs? Are there any Cokes? And she got. Brought me a Coke. And then everything changed. I stopped throwing up.

[Katherine]

That brought you back to life.

[Chelsea Handler]

It just made me. No, not to life. I'm still not back to life. I mean, I feel like somebody took two slingshots and shot them right into my kidneys.

[Katherine]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

I got a leader IV last night in bed. The nurse came over. My friend's in Whistler. Somebody, my doctor friend got me an IV bag. And I mean, I couldn't move. I couldn't. I can't even stand up straight yet because my kidneys are so shot.

[Katherine]

Oh, my God. And this was like two days ago. This was Saturday.

[Chelsea Handler]

This was Saturday night.

[Katherine]

Oh, my God. And we're recording on Monday. That is nuts. Oh, my gosh.

[Chelsea Handler]

I honestly. That really threw me. I've never been that sick.

[Katherine]

Oh, my God. Do you think it was the sushi or was it something marinating from before?

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, it was the sushi. Cause I looked up, I go. Because they didn't get sick. And I was like, is there. How do you know the difference between a 24 hour virus.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And food poisoning? And when I looked it up on the Internet, they're like, there is no such thing as a 24 hour food virus. Like 24 hour virus. Like no virus goes in and out of your body in 24 hours.

[Katherine]

Right, right, right.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's food poisoning. I mean, I felt like I was being attacked.

[Katherine]

Truly. Like, it's like that moment where you're laying on the floor of the bathroom just to feel something cool against your face. And like, I don't know about you, but when I'm that sick and it's coming out of both Ends I'm just, like, usually naked. Because you're, like, sweating, but you're shivering.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah. My bra was over my boobs. Like, the under part of my boobs was, like, completely out. And my bra had, like, slipp from throwing up so much in the toilet and then having to turn around when it was coming out of my butt and then going into the wastebasket. I had a wastebasket filled with vomit next to my bed. I mean, it was the most disgusting night of my life.

[Katherine]

You know what? You actually bring up one of the major, like, disagreements in my marriage, which is, I say that when you're sick and you have to vomit or whatever leaves us alone. See, I actually want someone to pat my back. But, like, it's the wastebasket of it all. Cause Brad is like, we'll just make it to the toilet. I'm like, you can't always make it to the toilet.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, you can't always make it to the toilet. I just gave up at some point and brought the wastebasket out towards my bed, which is actually something I've never done. Cause I used to subscribe to that, too, wearing it, like, bringing it to the. Getting to the toilet. Like, I've never not made it to the toilet. But this one was like, I was too weak to keep getting up and going to the toilet. No, I had to have my thing. But the muscles that you use to contract to vomit when you're throwing up bile. I mean, this is just getting everyone off to a great week. I just. Hopefully this is on a Monday or whenever we drop our minisodes.

[Katherine]

Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I want. This is a journal entry.

[Katherine]

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry you got so sick. So have you even, like, eaten anything since then?

[Chelsea Handler]

Or had a bagel this morning with some butter, but I hadn't eaten anything yesterday. I got my iv. I'm getting another IV as soon as I get home tonight. And my life is insane. I mean, obviously, if I hadn't been out till 4 o' clock in the morning, I doubt that food poisoning would have been as bad as it was.

[Katherine]

Like, it had the chokehold. It did on you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I wouldn't have been so. Already in a state of dehydration and, like, you know, weakness, but. But, you know, I'll never learn. My life is constantly just one big shit show.

[Katherine]

Oh, my God. I'm so glad you're on the mend. And I'm so sorry. That absolutely sucks.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you. All right, listen up, people. It's Chelsea Handler and we need to talk about something really important and they're called orgasms. If you're not making them a priority, PinkCherry.com is here to fix that. Orgasms boost your mood, lower stress and help you sleep. And let's be honest, we could all use a little release these days. From the iconic magic wand to We Vibe's couples toys to the game changing Womanizer, pinkcherry.com has everything you need. Solo or with someone. Feeling good is the goal. So go to pinkcherry.com and save up to 80% off site wide. You deserve it if you know you.

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[Chelsea Handler]

Love starts with you. So celebrate your personal style with new Pandora pieces that set a shining example for the world to see. Celebrate your unique story with Pandora jewelry. Crafted with meaning, love and exquisite artistry. From sparkling lab grown diamonds to vibrant enamels, personalized engravings and iconic charms, Pandora offers endless ways to express what's in your heart. Style your favorites with hand finished designs and playful cuts that reflect your individuality. Each Pandora piece is your blank canvas. At the heart of every piece of Pandora jewelry is love. Captured in the beauty of exquisite craftsmanship. Artfully hand painted enamel and beautiful hand finished designs. Treat yourself to a Pandora gift that shines from within. Because true love starts with you. Pandora is more than jewelry. It's a celebration of you. Shop Pandora today in store or [e-mail] every day is a chance to be love. Let Pandora Jewelry remind you that love starts with you. Hello LA bound thrill seekers. It's Chelsea Handler your fearless guide to the City of Angels. Discover the heart of creativity and innovation LA has to offer. Dive into a culinary journey where every corner offers a new flavor adventure. Whether it's grabbing tacos from a walk up window or sipping cocktails at a rooftop bar, L.A. s food scene will leave you craving more. Craving a shopping spree? Explore the city's fabulous fashion forward streets where exclusive streetwear and high end boutiques define A bold, creative style. Whether you're strolling vibrant streets or taking in iconic attractions that make LA the entertainment capital of the world, LA offers endless possibilities. Come experience the city where wonder and creativity thrive. We love LA. Ready to explore. Find more ways to love [e-mail] Chelsea Handler signing off, urging you to savor every moment.

An update. I decided to leave Doug in Canada because he's so happy here. Everyone who sends me these pictures, my friend Cynthia has him. She goes on, runs through the woods and the forest, and bike rides through.

The woods and forest.

And Doug just follows her. And I was like, you know what? It's nicer to leave him here than to bring him back to Ma Belle's apartment where she doesn't have air conditioning. And he's gonna be when I go to Europe on all of my tours. So I was like, is there any way you would want to keep Doug until I get back from Europe? And she was like, absolutely.

[Katherine]

We love that. Oh, so he's gonna stay for a little bit of the summer while you're. While you're gone home?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, he's gonna stay for the month of June.

[Katherine]

Yeah. Whistler's your happy place. Turns out it's your son's happy place as well.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love my baby so much.

[Katherine]

Yeah, he's such a good boy.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you know what was cute? He was coming up on the bed trying to check on me yesterday when my friend Janika came in, but I didn't even have the strength to pet him. You know what I mean?

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he was, like, sitting, sniffing around. Cause he was like, why does it smell like vomit and diarrhea in here?

[Katherine]

Why does she smell so bad?

[Chelsea Handler]

And I was just like, I can't. She's like, doug, come on. Come on. And he was trying to check on me. It was really cute.

But yes. Anyway, I'll be in Vegas.

The next date will be July 5th. That'll be 4th of July weekend. Yamaneika will be opening for me. So that's very exciting. And, yeah, you can check my dates for Vegas coming up.

And all my dates in Europe.

I'm coming. Go to chelseahandler.com for all other dates in Europe.

[Katherine]

Yeah. And for that July 5th date, Yamaneika we just recorded with her, that won't be out yet by the time this comes out, but she's so hysterical. You two have a hilarious rapport. So it's gonna be a super, super good time.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

Yeah.

She's pretty ridiculous.

[Katherine]

Yeah. And we'll hopefully have her on some upcoming minisodes too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

Okay, thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you later. Do do do do do do. Drum roll.

Ca.

Abroad is my European tour, so I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get the health out of this fucking country, and it's not.

As easy as you think. So I'm coming to the uk. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen.

Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona and Lisbon.

I'm coming abroad is abroad.

[Katherine]

That sounds like fun. I'm gonna go see you abroad.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know I want to go see me abroad.

And there I'll be there I'll be excellent. Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming, and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July 5th will be the next date that I'm there. July 5th, August 30th, and then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th, I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo, performing inside myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you.

[Katherine]

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching eercelseipod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com all right, listen up, people.

[Chelsea Handler]

It is Chelsea Handler, and we need to talk about something really important. Orgasms. You heard me right. Orgasms. If you're not making them a priority, pinkcherry.com is there to fix that. Orgasms can boost your mood, lower stress, and even help you sleep better. That's probably why people do it right before they go to bed. And let's face it, with stress levels rising faster than anything else these days, we could all use a little release, if you know what I mean. So if you care about your sexual health. And seriously, who doesn't, head over to pinkcherry.com they've got everything you could ever imagine to help you get there. From the iconic magic wand to we Vibe's collection of couples toys to the game changing womanizer. Pink Cherry has a curated collection of hundreds of the best brands to make sure you're having the best time of your life. Whether you're flying solo or inviting someone else to the party. Make your sexual health a priority. Head to pinkcherry.com and save up to 80% off site wide pleasure is just a click away. Pinkcherry.com if you know you owe okay, let's talk about your liver. I know it's not the most glamorous organ, but it does a lot of heavy lifting from digestion to detoxification, even keeping you energized after those weekend wine nights. We all love a good cocktail, but let's be real, our liver needs a little help. And that's where LiverMD comes in. It is formulated by one MD Nutrition's team of scientists and doctors, backed by clinical research and trusted by over 3.5 million people. 80% of LiverMD users saw improvements in their liver test results, plus more energy, less bloating and better digestion. Visit onemd.org and use code Chelsea to save 15% on your first order love starts with you. So celebrate your personal style with new Pandora pieces that set a shining example for the world to see. Celebrate your unique story with Pandora jewelry. Crafted with meaning, love and express exquisite artistry. From sparkling lab grown diamonds to vibrant enamels, personalized engravings and iconic charms, Pandora offers endless ways to express what's in your heart. Style your favorites with hand finished designs and playful cuts that reflect your individuality. Each Pandora piece is your blank canvas. At the heart of every piece of Pandora jewelry is love. Captured in the beauty of exquisite craftsmanship, artfully hand painted enamel and beautiful hand finished designs, treat yourself to a Pandora gift that shines from within. Because true love starts with you. Pandora is more than jewelry. It's a celebration of you. Shop Pandora today in store or [e-mail] every day is a chance to be love. Let Pandora Jewelry remind you that love starts with you. Sinesta Travel Pass is the most rewarding way to travel. Sign [e-mail] for instant savings, bonus points and perks like early check in, late check out, room upgrades and free stays. Choose from 1100 hotels across 13 brands and unlock the best rates when you book with Sonesta Travel Pass Here today, Rome tomorrow. Join [e-mail] Terms and conditions apply. You're listening to an iHeart podcast.