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- [00:00]
Chelsea Handler
You guys know that I love Doug and if you have pets, you get it. You want to give them the best. Just Food for Dogs has Doug wagging his tail and excited for mealtimes. I love that JustFood for Dogs meals is made with real human grade ingredients. No weird fillers or mystery meat. It is vet formulated, fresh and backed by science. Feeding your dogs should be simple. Go to justfoodfordogs.com right now to get 50% off your first order to try it for yourself. That's justfoodfordogs.com for 50% off.
- [00:32]
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- [01:02]
Chelsea Handler
A mother's love deserves a gift like no other. Celebrate her love, strength and style with heartfelt jewelry from Pandora. From iconic charms to sparkling necklaces, rings, earrings and more, there are so many ways to say thank you Mom. Pandora even has in store engraving so you can treat your mom to a trip to the store and have your pieces engraved together with your own handwriting. So on Mother's Day and every day, tell her how much she means to you with a gift from Pandora. Visit Pandora in store or online@pandora.net Listen up. You know what's better than being a jittery mess after your third coffee? Actually functioning like a normal human being. Beyond Brew by Live Conscious is a six in one mushroom blend that won't make you trip balls, but it will give you mental clarity, focus and less bloating. Forbes called Beyond Brew a deliciously potent coffee alternative and 400,000 people can't be wrong. It comes in cacao, caramel macchiato and vanilla latte. Because we are not savages, your mind and body will thank you later. Go to liveconscious.com and use code Chelsea for 15% off. Hi Katherine.
- [02:11]
Katherine
Oh, hello Chelsea. How are you?
- [02:13]
Chelsea Handler
Chelsea Joy Handler speaking.
- [02:16]
Katherine
Chelsea Joy Handler. And you're all, you're just out there spreading joy. It actually wasn't for like a while that I realized, oh, you always talk about like, spreading joy. And I'm like, oh, that's also her middle name. It's like, it's right there. It's just right there.
- [02:29]
Chelsea Handler
Well, I'm trying to spread joy. I don't know if I'm always spreading joy. Sometimes I'm spreading other things.
- [02:35]
Katherine
Well, I have an update from a caller. This was a gal who. Her name is Miley. She wrote in and she was doing, like, a surrogacy journey, if you remember that language, for her friend. This was from an episode with Lisa Tadeo. She was unsure about telling her new beau she was pregnant with her friend's baby and she was the surrogate. So she says, Aloha, Katherine. Well, about six dates in, he continued to push meeting my daughter. I told him I was uninterested, unless he was serious about us, which he assured me he was. He made us dinner and was so sweet to her. After she went to bed, he kept asking whether or not I would have any more children. I entertained that reality for about 25 seconds until I came to my senses and said it was a hard no. The truth is, I've already done all the hard parts, and my daughter is legit fun and enjoyable to hang out with. I also sleep 10 hours a night and she makes her own breakfast. Why on earth would I start over with a baby? We went on another date and he said he would have a hard time not having children of his own. I told him I just know too much about what having a child entails and that the only people that want kids at this point are people who don't have them yet. We've always respected each other's desires for our lives, so we left it at that. I did, however, have to post a first ultrasound pic of the surrogate baby, after which he called freaking out, thinking it was his. Lol. I know. I'm a monster. I'm now almost 6 months pregnant with my friend's daughter, saving enough to move back to Hawaii and buy land and enjoying my life without a baby in tow. Well, not mine, at least. Hope you're both thriving. Aloha, Miley.
- [04:09]
Chelsea Handler
Well, good for her. People who are surrogates are. That is just an amazing thing to do for another person. Truly get pregnant and then give them the baby away to someone else, like.
- [04:20]
Katherine
And carry it for nine months and all the health risks that go with that and everything. Oh, my gosh. Have you been watching the Pit?
- [04:28]
Chelsea Handler
I have. I've seen a bunch of episodes of that.
- [04:30]
Katherine
Yeah. There's, like, a storyline where that's Happening. And this gal's like being a surrogate for. I mean, it's a lot of risk to carry to be a surrogate for somebody, but great, if that's your story. So we'll just do a couple quickie questions today. So our first question today comes from Derek. He says, I would like to start weed, preferably Edison, but I need to start at the lowest form. Any suggestions, Derek?
- [04:55]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I just get something that's 2.5 milligrams of THC. That is the lowest entry point. And then you can, you know, get a package of like gummies that are two, two and a half. You can even, they probably even have 1 milligram, but I know they have 2.5. And that's the lowest. That's the lowest. So you get that, you take one and then you see how that hits you. And you might not even feel it, you know, at two and a half, you might want another one and then that's five. So just you have to like titrate, find out what your dosage is by experimentation.
- [05:25]
Katherine
Yeah, I know they make two and a half milligram mints. Yeah, I've tried those. Those are pretty good. I am in the same boat where I'm like, I like the tiniest little amount ever almost where like I'm not even really feeling it. It's just like a little twinkle. And so what I do, one I really like, that never makes me nervous is like the Camino chill gummies. Like that specific.
- [05:44]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, Caminos are good. Those are. That's a good brand.
- [05:46]
Katherine
And they're chill ones. I literally, they're 5 milligrams. I will literally cut them either in half or in quarters, like if I don want to like really feel much, but I just want to relax a little bit. So definitely suggest that you don't have to take a whole one. Just like bite it in half or.
- [05:59]
Chelsea Handler
Quarters or whatever and then have it swallow a hard boiled egg whole. That's what you do with that. To chase it. To chase it.
- [06:06]
Katherine
Always my advice. Always my advice. Okay, so our next question comes from Andy, longtime fan here. Love the podcast. I hope to one day have a personal problem juicy enough to write in and talk to you about. But now I actually have a more random question. Where exactly in Peru did you do ayahuasca? I'm going there this summer and want to try it and it looks like you had a pretty good experience. The last thing I want to do is end up in some rundown hut in the middle of nowhere tripping with a bunch of anacondas, Andy.
- [06:37]
Chelsea Handler
That's what I was doing. I was in the middle of fucking nowhere. I don't know what that place was called. Iquitos. Iquitos was the town we flew to from Peru. We flew into. What's the big. Lima. Lima.
- [06:52]
Katherine
Lima.
- [06:53]
Chelsea Handler
Flew into Lima. And then we went to Iquitos. I wouldn't recommend the shaman that I used for my ayahuasca journey. Just so you know. I would do some research. I mean, there's so many shamans in Peru. And you go and you have a really authentic experience, but part of that authenticity is being in the fucking woods. And who knows what's out there. You're in a jungle, you know what I mean? Like you're in a rainforest, so you're gonna be around anacondas. I didn't see any when I was there, but there's all sorts of lodges up and down. There's tributaries all off the Amazon and all of them are offering different packages. So, like you, I would just look it up. I wouldn't go to Iquitos. I mean, Iquitos is a place you can go, but I wouldn't. I don't even know the name of the lodge that I went to. I'd have to look that up, but I wouldn't recommend that. I would find a group ceremony where you're gonna be with other tourists that are also doing that.
- [07:43]
Katherine
Yeah. And for people who are like considering it as well. Everyone I know who's done it and hasn't gone to Peru is like, yeah, I had kind of like a not great experience or it wasn't like the full deal. So, you know, don't do it in LA maybe or New York or whatever. Just like go where you're supposed to go.
- [08:01]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, yeah. You guys know that I love Doug. And if you have pets, you get it. You want to give them the best. And Just Food for Dogs has Doug wagging his tail and excited for mealtimes. He can be a picky eater, but I think we finally have a solution. It is so convenient that I can give him fresh meals from their frozen selection. Or if I don't wanna take up the space in my freezer, they have packaged meals that are just as delicious. I love that Just Food for Dogs meals is made with real human grade ingredients. And I can actually see the beef, the potatoes, green beans and apples in his food. No weird fillers or mystery meat. It is vet formulated, fresh and backed by science. I love spoiling Doug. And just Food for Dogs is a perfect way to do that while keeping him healthy, his coat shiny and his poops tiny. A win for everyone. Feeding your dogs should be simple. Go to justfoodfordogs.com right now to get 50% off. Your first order to try it for yourself. That's justfoodfordogs.com for 50% off.
- [09:05]
T Mobile Ad
Unlike what you're listening to, T Mobile's coverage is no joke because T Mobile helps keep you connected from the heart of Portland to right where you are on America's largest 5G network switch. Now keep your phone and T Mobile will pay it off up to $800 per line via prepaid card. Visit your local T Mobile location or learn more@t mobile.com KeepAndSwitch up to 4 lines of your virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service port in 90 plus days device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required. Card is no cash access and expires in six months.
- [09:35]
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- [10:24]
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- [11:05]
Katherine
Well, our last question comes from Sophia. So Sophia says, Dear Chelsea, I live in Denmark. I've been married for two years, together for four, and my Wife and I are now in the fertility process. We've been trying for a few months now. She's doing the iui. It's been unsuccessful so far and this is our fifth attempt. And the next one will be ivf. What I want advice on is getting another dog. A little background on us. I'm obsessed with dogs and when I met my wife, we each had our own dog. I had Lilou, a long haired Shar Pei, and we had an incredibly special bond. She passed away some months ago. Her absence has changed me in a way. Literally, the same week she passed away, we had our first appointment at the fertility clinic. So we had a really rocky start to the whole process. Now we only have one dog. Originally, my wife's dog, Frida, a small Maltese. She's a great dog and I love her, but she's always going to be my wife's dog. I really want to have another dog. I crave it. But my wife is so happy with how things are now, focusing on the coming pregnancy. I know that dealing with just one dog is way easier and I guess she's just not into raising a puppy at this time. But if not now, it probably won't be for a year or two, what with the baby and all. I know that logically now is probably not the best time, but for some reason I don't care, or this need is just bigger. How can I convince my wife? Or do you think I should just put aside my needs and wait? Thanks so much for your amazing podcast, Sophia.
- [12:22]
Chelsea Handler
I mean, I would just get a fucking dog. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, you, I listen, you can't really get a dog unless your partner agrees to it. But I totally get it. I mean, dogs just make the house more fun. Everything's better with dogs. So I don't know. I don't have an answer. I don't know. It depends.
- [12:39]
Katherine
No, I think that's a good answer. And I agree. I think, like, especially when you've had like a big meaty Sharpay. Like a Maltese is cute, but it's not like the kind of dog maybe she connects with. And I will also say, even if your wife is pregnant tomorrow, you have nine months. I will also say maybe it's not time for a puppy. Maybe you just like skip the potty training portion. Like get a dog that's six months or a year old and like, is already trained. Even if you're getting a dog that's like a couple years old, it's great because then they've got a Little life under them. They like to nap a little bit more. I know. I don't if I'm ever going to do puppy stage again. It really took it out of me. When we did puppy stage with our twin puppies that we have right now, there was six months that once it was done, just from all the potty training and all the training and all the, like, little puppy stuff that you have to do, I was like, I. That was maybe a bad mental health. Six months. So maybe not a puppy, but if you get a bigger dog, then you're, like, ready to roll right into motherhood.
- [13:33]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. Like Doug. I got Doug and he was nine months old. He's a fucking hot mess, though.
- [13:39]
Katherine
But he's a beautiful hot mess.
- [13:40]
Chelsea Handler
Doug is such. You should have seen him in the woods yesterday, running through the woods. He got the Zoomies inside of the Zoomies. He had the Zoomies and then he got a double whammy Zoomie. So he didn't know which way to turn. He was flying through the woods like a giant running squirrel. Like he was airborne. I'm like, he's gonna impale himself anyway. I would always just add to the collection of dogs. But, you know, you do have to get your wife's approval.
- [14:03]
Katherine
So get a low maintenance dog that's already trained and, like, your wife will get on board. It'll be fine.
- [14:08]
Chelsea Handler
There you go.
- [14:09]
Katherine
All right, well, that's all we've got for today.
- [14:12]
Chelsea Handler
Okay, thanks for listening, guys. We'll see you later. Bye, Katherine.
- [14:16]
Katherine
Bye.
- [14:17]
Chelsea Handler
Do, do, do, do, do, do. Drum roll, Catherine, please. And abroad, broad, is my European tour. So I'm coming to obviously find a husband abroad. I need to get the health out of this fucking country. And it's not as easy as you think. So I'm coming to Reykjavik. I'm coming to the uk. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast in May and June. I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow, New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona and Lisbon. I'm coming abroad is abroad.
- [15:00]
Katherine
That sounds like fun. I'm gonna go see you abroad.
- [15:02]
Chelsea Handler
I know I wanna go. See me abroad. And there I'll be there. I'll be excellent. Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming, and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo, doing my residency. On July 5th will be the next date that I'm there. July 5th, August 30th, and then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th. I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you.
- [15:42]
Katherine
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earchelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert Executive Producer Kathryn Law and be sure to check out our merch@chelsea.
- [15:59]
Chelsea Handler
Handler.Com youm guys know that I love Doug and if you have pets you get it. You want to give them the best. Just Food for Dogs has Doug wagging his tail and excited for mealtimes. I love that Just Food for Dogs meals is made with real human grade ingredients. No weird fillers or mystery meat. It is vet formulated, fresh and backed by science. Feeding your dogs should be simple. Go to justfoodfordogs.com right now to get 50% off your first order to try it for yourself. That's justfoodfordogs.com for 50% off.
- [16:32]
Refresh Optive Ad
Did you know women are more likely than men to develop dry eyes which may be due to hormonal changes during the menstrual cycle or after menopause and the use of oral contraceptives. Give your dry burning or irritated eyes a daily refresh With Refresh Optive Mega 3 Lubricant Eye Drops, a preservative free formula that provides fast acting, lasting relief. Refresh Optive Mega 3 is safe to use as often as needed. Find refresh online or in the eyedrop aisle at all major retailers.
- [17:04]
Chelsea Handler
A mother's love deserves a gift like no other. Celebrate her love, strength and style with heartfelt jewelry from Pandora. From iconic charms to sparkling necklaces, rings, earrings and more, there are so many ways to say thank you Mom. Pandora even has in store engravings so you can treat your mom to a trip to the store and have your pieces engraved together with your own handwriting. So on Mother's Day and every day, tell her how much she means to you with a gift from Pandora. Visit Pandora in store or online@pandora.net hello LA bound thrill seekers. It's Chelsea Handler, your fearless guide to the City of Angels. From tantalizing culinary adventures to unique fashion finds, LA is a city that captivates your senses. Dive into a culinary adventure. From street tacos to rooftop sushi, explore fashion with exclusive streetwear and high end boutiques. Whether you are strolling iconic streets or savoring rooftop dining, LA offers endless possibilities. We love LA. Find more ways to love LA@discoverla.com Chelsea Handler signing off, urging you to savor every moment.