So Gay For You with Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Dear Chelsea – So Gay For You with Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig"

Release Date: May 29, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Dear Chelsea, hosted by Chelsea Handler alongside co-host Catherine Law, the spotlight is on fostering deeper understanding and providing insightful advice on LGBTQ+ relationships and personal growth. The episode, titled "So Gay For You with Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig," features special guests Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig, known for their roles in the groundbreaking series The L Word. This episode delves into their experiences in the entertainment industry, the impact of their work on LGBTQ+ representation, and addresses listeners' personal relationship dilemmas.

Chelsea's Europe Tour Update

Chelsea Handler begins the episode by sharing her exhilarating experiences touring Europe. Currently in Edinburgh, she narrates the daily adventures and challenges, including extensive walking tours and navigating family dynamics on the road.

Notable Quote:

"[04:05] Chelsea Handler: ...we have hit the ground running in every city. Every time we land, they say it's gonna be raining. And then we land and the sun is out."

Guest Introduction: Leisha Hailey & Kate Moennig

Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig join Chelsea to discuss their new memoir, "So Gay For You," which chronicles their journey on The L Word and their lives beyond the show. They reflect on their initial reluctance to write a book, considering themselves "dumb actors," and how opportunities eventually led them to share their stories.

Notable Quote:

"[09:00] Kate Menig: ...never thought writing, I mean, listen."

Audition Stories and Acting Challenges

The conversation shifts to their audition experiences, highlighting the competitive nature of acting. Kate recounts the memorable audition for The L Word, emphasizing the unlikely circumstances that led her to land the role over Leisha.

Notable Quote:

"[13:16] Kate Menig: ...we had layers and the whole thing. Compared to every other actor... I thought, that's it."

Chelsea shares her own humorous audition mishap for a Nike commercial, revealing the vulnerabilities actors face during the audition process.

Notable Quote:

"[15:33] Chelsea Handler: ...do whatever, you know, just dance. And I cannot dance."

Navigating Hollywood and Representation

Leisha and Kate discuss the shift from The L Word's progressive environment to the restrictive nature of mainstream network television. They highlight the importance of authentic LGBTQ+ representation and the challenges faced in industries dominated by mainstream norms.

Notable Quote:

"[19:58] Chelsea Handler: ...there's so much money in entertainment... it's a reflection of what's happening in Washington."

Impact of "The L Word" on LGBTQ+ Representation

The guests elaborate on how The L Word broke barriers by portraying well-rounded lesbian characters with diverse lives and relationships, countering the stereotype that LGBTQ+ relationships are solely about coming out or facing tragedy.

Notable Quote:

"[32:06] Doug: I think it broke down barriers. I think it opened eyes... we have careers, we have friendships, we have relationships."

Listener Questions: Navigating Complex Relationships

Question from Lola: Boundary Issues with an Ex and Social Media Obsession

A listener named Lola seeks advice on managing her discomfort with her partner Bridget's ex-girlfriend, Samantha, who remains obsessed and continues to profess love for Bridget on social media platforms like TikTok.

Advice Provided: Chelsea, along with Leisha and Kate, recommend establishing clear boundaries with Samantha. They emphasize the importance of a unified front between Lola and Bridget to address the issue directly and maturely, ensuring Samantha respects the new relationship dynamics for the well-being of Bridget's child.

Notable Quote:

"[44:22] Chelsea Handler: ...you have to act in a mature way and respect that relationship."

Question from LK: Dealing with Avoidant Behaviors and Flirting with a Married Hairdresser

LK shares her struggle with avoidant behaviors in an on-and-off relationship while developing a crush on her married hairdresser. She questions whether to pursue the flirting or maintain her current relationship trajectory.

Advice Provided: The trio encourages LK to continue her therapy and confront her avoidant tendencies directly. They advise focusing on her existing relationship and the importance of vulnerability and honesty rather than seeking distractions through unattainable crushes.

Notable Quote:

"[50:27] Doug: ...you don't like being vulnerable."

Closing Remarks and Upcoming Shows

Chelsea concludes the episode by promoting her upcoming shows in Las Vegas and her latest special, "The Feeling." She encourages listeners to engage with her new content and continue seeking advice through the podcast platform.

Notable Quote:

"[68:38] Chelsea Handler: ...summertime is coming, and I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July 5th."

Conclusion

This episode of Dear Chelsea adeptly balances humorous anecdotes from Chelsea's personal life with meaningful discussions on LGBTQ+ representation and relationship advice. Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig provide valuable insights from their experiences in a pioneering television series, enriching the conversation with their expert perspectives. Listeners gain both entertainment and practical advice, making it a well-rounded episode that resonates with a broad audience.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• "[04:05] Chelsea Handler: ...we have hit the ground running in every city."
• "[09:00] Kate Menig: ...never thought writing, I mean, listen."
• "[13:16] Kate Menig: ...we had layers and the whole thing."
• "[15:33] Chelsea Handler: ...just dance. And I cannot dance."
• "[19:58] Chelsea Handler: ...there's so much money in entertainment."
• "[32:06] Doug: I think it broke down barriers."
• "[44:22] Chelsea Handler: ...you have to act in a mature way and respect that relationship."
• "[50:27] Doug: ...you don't like being vulnerable."
• "[68:38] Chelsea Handler: ...I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July 5th."

This structured and detailed summary provides a comprehensive overview of the episode, highlighting key discussions, insights, and quotes that encapsulate the essence of the conversation for those who haven't listened to it.

Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Catherine]

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[Leisha Haley]

Chelsea, how are you? How's Europe?

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Catherine. Oh my God. I am I honest? First of all, I don't even know where to begin. I just walked, I think 27,000 steps. We're in Edinburgh today. My cousin's here, Molly. As you know, Molly, yes. Her husband has crashed our party with their four year old and I split off with them after her 4 year old said, Mommy for the 700th time in one under one hour. I was like, you really are patient. I. And it's not enough to walk 20 steps ahead of you. I need to go listen to a political podcast while I walk home. But I honestly feel like one of my hips, like I got this great SI belt thing because my SI joint always pops out. When I was skiing all winter, it was kind of annoying me. So it's been amazing. So anyone who's listening who has SI problems like where your hip kind of pops out, you gotta get one of these belts. Cause it keeps everything in place. I don't want to really be promoting Amazon, but I did order it on Amazon and when I say I ordered it, somebody else ordered it for me. So I want to be very transparent about everything I say. But we're having the best time in Europe. We've had the most amazing shows. It's been so wonderful to be able to apologize on behalf of our administration.

[Leisha Haley]

And just America as a whole.

[Chelsea Handler]

And really convey my apologies to our former allies. We have hit the ground running in every city. Every time we land, they say it's gonna be raining. And then we land and the sun is out. It happens everywhere. Reykjavik, Paris. We had two days in Paris. We had an amazing time in Amsterd. Stockholm was absolutely gorgeous. Oslo, then we went to, oh, Belfast. We were in Belfast with Sunny. Yamanika was in Belfast with us. So they didn't know what the fuck hit them.

[Kate Menig]

London.

[Chelsea Handler]

London was incredible. We were in Glasgow two nights ago. So today is a day off. In Edinburgh we had yesterday off and then I think tomorrow we go to Zurich. All right, so it's been absolutely wonderful. The crowds are amazing. I'm just, I really feel so happy to be here and to be spreading like, you know, the vibes.

[Leisha Haley]

I'm so glad.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you how are you? I'm great.

[Leisha Haley]

I'm, you know, I've just had a couple weeks of like, a little bit of downtime. Had some barbecues. It's been really, really nice. So very relaxing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that's nice. That's nice. We've had some incredible food here. Incredible food everywhere. And Edinburgh is like one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I hadn't been here for like 30 years. I came with one of my boyfriends when I was like 20 years old. And it is so old and so preserved. And they don't have high rises. And it's not gross with all the stores. I mean, they have sections of like, you know, Gucci and Fendi and all that, which is fine, but they don't. It's just beautiful. And the cobblestone streets and the castles everywhere. And it's just been gorgeous here. So we went on a long, long walk today and I had a big blood blister when I came home. So that was really satisfying to pop. And then I am gonna take a Xanax tonight and prepare for. I'm taking the day off of drinking, even though I already had a drink at lunch.

[Leisha Haley]

That counts.

[Chelsea Handler]

Taking the night off of drinking. Cause I need to have a clear head since tomorrow night I have a show. And I'm just. Just really grateful. I'm just. I'm reading great books. Yeah.

[Leisha Haley]

Oh, we gotta do a Minnesota book roundup. Well, if there's anything we wanna mention.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right now, there's a really good book. This isn't a new book that's out, but I just read it. It's called Red Notice by Bill Browder and it's all about Russia. And he big finance investment guy who started investing in Russia after they. It changed from communism to, quote unquote, capitalism and they privatized everything. And it's a fascinating read. So, of course, you know, I sent that to my half my family. I'm like, here's the country you defend. And then I got that book, the. The Emperor of Gladness, Ocean Vong. Did you hear about this book?

[Leisha Haley]

No, I don't know this one.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's heavy.

[Leisha Haley]

I know her, but I haven't read that book.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, this just came out. And this is supposed to be great. And then I read Morality by Jonathan Sacks. We'll go over all of them. I just wanted to remember what morality was in these times. Anyway, so everything's great. Doug is living up a storm in Canada. He's going from house to house to house. People are. There's a Waiting list to hang out with him, so. And I won't see him until I do my show in Vegas on July 5th. So that's when I come back to America. July 5th, everybody. I'll be in Vegas.

[Leisha Haley]

Awesome. What other dates do you have coming up in Europe for the next week or two?

[Chelsea Handler]

Everything in Europe is sold out, so. Oh, no, Barcelona, I think, has tickets. Barcelona, I believe, is June 2nd. So if you're. Yeah, Barcelona has tickets, but everything else is sold out. And I didn't want to add any second shows because I'd have to do them the same night. And I'm like, I just can't. I can't do two shows in a night when I don't have to.

[Leisha Haley]

Totally.

[Chelsea Handler]

So I'll have to come back sooner than later because I've just been having the best time here, and I'm just so grateful. That's the word of the day, is gratitude.

[Leisha Haley]

Well, listen, you're bringing joy and apparently literal sunshine to every city you go to, so that's great.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. My cousin keeps going every morning. Molly goes, oh, my God, can you believe we keep changing the weather? It's supposed to rain and we keep changing the weather. And I wanted to go, it's not you, it's me, because I've been doing this since I was born. And we were on the phone, we were on the phone with my sister. We're going to Greece in a couple of weeks for my sister's big birthday. Like 12 of us of the girls in the family. And my sister goes, well, if Chelsea's coming, we're going to have sunshine. Molly goes, oh, everywhere we go, there's been sunshine. And they've been. It's been forecasting rain, and everywhere we go, sunshine. And she goes, oh, yeah, Chelsea always brings the good weather. And Molly's like, no, I thought it was me. And I was like, well, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but it really has enough energy.

[Leisha Haley]

Sorry, Molly. Sorry, Molly. And you know what? If you can't get tickets to Chelsea's sold out shows in Europe, you can check out her special.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yes, you can check out my special, the Feeling, which is so funny. All these European people are like, we didn't want to watch your feeling because we thought it was going to be the same material as what you're doing now. I'm like, no, no, no. I have a whole new hour, bitches. I'm ready to rumble.

[Leisha Haley]

Excellent.

[Chelsea Handler]

I have a whole new hour about not vacationing with your family. Okay, so today's episode we have, well, you know our guests from the L Word and their podcast Pants. They have co written a new memoir and it's called so Gay for your, which I read, which is delightful. And it's all about their experiences on the show and beyond the show. Please welcome two captain lesbians, Alysha Haley and Kate Menig. Congrats on the book, you ladies.

[Kate Menig]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, how exciting.

[Kate Menig]

Thank you very much.

[Doug]

Wild.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. Never thought this would happen.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. This was never on my bucket list. But let's talk about it. Something happening.

[Chelsea Handler]

So welcome to the podcast.

[Kate Menig]

Thank you.

[Doug]

Thanks for having us.

[Chelsea Handler]

Very excited about your new book, so Gay for your. I was reading this on a plane and then I. And then, oh, great. And the gay flight attendant who was male, he was like, mm. And I'm like, uh huh. And I'm like, I had no idea what he was talking about. And then when I put. When I finished it and closed it, I was like, oh, I see what he's talking about. But I love this cover. Yeah, I love this cover of the two of you.

[Kate Menig]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

And what took you so long to write a book about how you met, how the show started? What took you so long?

[Doug]

I mean, we're like a couple of dumb, dumb actors. No one ever like, we never thought we could do this.

[Kate Menig]

And then opportunity got brought up to us and we thought, sure, why not?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. But you seem like you don't think you can do much of anything because.

[Doug]

In the book you didn't even think like, what's happening? It's like self esteem issues. I don't know. That's really funny. That's your takeaway.

[Kate Menig]

You always. Yeah, it's true. You always say the dum dums. But we never thought writing, I mean, listen.

[Doug]

Well, we barely graduated high school and.

[Kate Menig]

We didn't go to college, so we.

[Chelsea Handler]

Got barely graduated high school and I didn't go to college and I just wrote my seventh book. So that is not a barrier. No, I'm not an intellect.

[Doug]

What I think of you. And I go, oh, she's really great.

[Chelsea Handler]

I fucking love it. I hope my sisters are listening. But no, in the book you talk about you tried to turn down this role.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you didn't think you could do that. You were in a band. You're still in a band, but you were in a different band then. Right. And you got the offer for the role. Turned it down one, two, three times. I think it was three times you said in the book.

[Kate Menig]

Was it three times? I thought it was twice.

[LK]

Three.

[Doug]

No. Three. Yeah. I didn't turn it down because I didn't think I could do it. It's. Cause I was in a codependent band relationship, and I was like, I'm gonna leave my bandmate and ruin her life and go. I don't know. It just felt wrong.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. Well, that's wrong. You know, that doesn't make any sense at all.

[Doug]

I know. It was a choice I was about to make that would have changed my life forever.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Leisha Haley]

I think you had a friend who, like, saved you from that bad decision. Right?

[Doug]

Yes. Like, told your do it, you gotta do it. Yeah. And no fault to, like, Heather, who is my bandmate. We just. We were in something that we were like, we're gonna do this forever. You know, when you're that young, you're like, yeah. Have you ever been in that where you're in a working relationship with someone that you're like, this is for the rest of our lives?

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I feel like that almost about any relationship. Right. Like, when things are going well, you're like, we'll be together forever. But the reality of that actually coming to fruition is like, no, I know. You know, there are breakups and all the time, and then there's creative evolution. So you move on to other things and other outlets, and then you're like, oh, okay, well, obviously you can't work with everybody. It's a great idea. But it's kind of like a marriage, which is, you know, why those typically don't work.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, so let's start at the beginning. So you guys opened this book with your auditions for the album?

[Doug]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And so what year was this? Do we remember?

[Kate Menig]

June 2002.

[Chelsea Handler]

June 2002. Okay, so that's like 20 something years.

[Kate Menig]

It was a long time ago.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you met each other? You saw each other?

[Kate Menig]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

At the audition. Cause you were auditioning for the same role originally.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah, we. I. Yeah. I was told my manager said, there's only one other person who's gonna be reading for this part. And I said, okay. Cause it was a specific kind of.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you came out from New York. You flew out from New York.

[Kate Menig]

I flew out from New York. Cause I was on the east coast then. And my manager's like, I can do some digging, find out who it is. And I said, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, let me just go there. This is pressure y enough. And I walk in, and I saw the back of her head, and her hair was, like, wisping. Out in the back.

[Doug]

Well, it was her. You remember this look?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Leisha Haley]

It was wind. It's like.

[Kate Menig]

You know what I'm saying? It's like we had a lot of layers. We had layers and the whole thing. And compared to every other actor out there reading for another role who had long hair. I just saw the back of her head, and I thought, that's it. And then that's it. I was like, that's her.

[Doug]

Oh, that's her.

[Kate Menig]

I was like, that's it. I was like, that's my competition. And so they ushered actors reading for another role to one side. We went off to the other side. And then we just sat in an echoey, quiet hallway for about 45 minutes. Just kind of nodding and smiling at each other, trying to be polite.

[Doug]

And a lot of people find this hard to believe that I was up for the role that Kate ended up getting. Cause it's like this sexual Lothario. But I think it might have just been my funky hair. I don't know why I was up for this role. But there was something about me. But there was no way in hell.

[Kate Menig]

How'S she had funky hair do.

[Doug]

There was no way in hell I was meant for that part.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Doug]

Absolutely right. Like, it was Kate's.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, of course.

[Kate Menig]

But I didn't know that. I thought, oh, she's got this in the b.

[Leisha Haley]

Cause you have the comb, right?

[Doug]

I had a comb. She had a comb because, like, the Fonz.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah, yeah. She showed up with the prop. And I thought, that's it. I was like, that's the secret to this whole thing. And I never thought of doing that. And I schlepped all the way out here from the other coast, and it's over before it even started. Like, I thought I was done auditioning.

[Chelsea Handler]

Fucking sucks.

[Kate Menig]

It's horrible.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, it is really one of the most. I think. I mean, that's what turned me off of acting when I got out here. Thank goodness I could do other things. Because I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna nail this. It's so unnatural. What an unnatural environment. And it's degrading.

[Doug]

It is.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, you're sitting there like cattle waiting outside a room and then going in. And everyone's. That energy is so bad for the soul.

[Doug]

Yeah. And everyone's trying to pretend you're not competing, but you all, you know, and.

[Kate Menig]

Then you get called into the room, and it's whatever the circumstances that you're meant to be reading for. It's just. It's always gonna be unnatural, but you have to somehow make it look like, oh, no, this is completely. Nor like we're in this intimate experience and we're not.

[Doug]

Yeah, now we don't even do that anymore.

[Kate Menig]

No. Now we go on zooms and we control it. Which is better.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, totally better.

[Kate Menig]

But that has its own set of problems.

[Doug]

But, yeah, I want to hear about your act, like, your audition process or what you were.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, let me. I once auditioned for a Nike commercial. I mean, this wasn't a serious thing, obviously, but I have tons of audition stories. But at some point, at a certain.

[Kate Menig]

Point, I was like, marshalls, that was your thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I never was my thing. I never booked one. But I once auditioned for a Nike commercial and they had me and I had to wear short shorts. So I remember getting up in the morning in Santa Monica and I ran six miles so that my legs were like, you know, like a throbbing penis. Basically. Like, they were at peak muscle. Like, you know. You know, after a run was when they're like the strongest. And I was young, I was like in my 20s. And then I got in and they were like, okay, you know, this is a dance commercial. So just like, do whatever, you know, just dance. And I cannot dance. I have no rhythm. I can't sing and I can't dance. Anyone who sees me dance is like, oh, wow.

[Kate Menig]

Stop, please stop.

[Chelsea Handler]

But now I'm like, I'm 50. So I'm like, fuck it, who cares? Who cares if I'm a bad dancer? I've already proven that I'm good at other things, not dancing, but that's not gonna stop me. I'll just take whatever drugs I need to to get me on the dance floor. And I remember in the moment not knowing that I had to dance and them telling me. And it was a bunch of Asian people that were. And I just basically blacked out. Like, I blacked out and just started running and doing aerobics and just whatever the most humiliating version of that could have been was what I did. And I didn't look anyone in the eye. I just kept spinning around. I was doing. At one point, I did a jumping jack. And then I was like two stepping. And then I ran in certain directions, but then there was a wall. And all I remember is, when is this gonna be over? When is this gonna be over? And I remember just running out the door, I said, thank you, goodbye, ran out the door, and I called my agent and I was like, I don't wanna audition for commercials anymore. And I know Dancing. And after that, I stopped auditioning for commercials. Cause I was like, this is too. I can't do. I can't subject myself to this kind of shame. Like, I'm too confident of a person. This will ruin me. And it wasn't long after that that I stopped auditioning for television stuff too. Like, if it was an audition situation, I'm like, that's not my strong suit. You have to audition so many times to be good at it. Except in your case, you weren't auditioning a lot to be good at it. You just kind of nailed it.

[Doug]

Well, yeah, I guess it was meant to be. But since that role, I've never really booked much of anything. Like, that's the funny thing about my story is I got this iconic show but have failed as an actress ever since.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, really?

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah. Like, and then the reboot happened again and I was like, okay, I'm back to play this part again. And then crickets again. It's really. And I've made peace with it. I'm like, I guess that's what I was supposed to do, or I can't do. I don't know what it is, but it's wild.

[Kate Menig]

You made it count.

[Doug]

Thanks.

[Chelsea Handler]

That is wild.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. That is frustrating also. It must have been really frustrating for. Until you made peace with it.

[Doug]

Yeah. I mean, when the show ended, I thought, okay, great, I'm gonna go on to do. I mean, I did do a.

[Kate Menig]

But Leisha did a thing where when the show ended, the original show ended, Alicia had a ban and she said, I'm gonna go off touring with the band. And whenever, anytime you're coming off a long running show. Everyone, not everyone, but sort of this unspoken thing where people realize, oh, you have like a season to kind of see where you can take that influence and maybe direct it into a different. Into another job. And that's when you took off.

[Doug]

Yeah. And everyone else went on to do other things.

[Kate Menig]

So everyone else was like, trying to utilize that little momentum we had. Oh, let's see if this is gonna.

[Chelsea Handler]

How many years was the L Word on?

[Doug]

It was six seasons.

[Chelsea Handler]

Six seasons.

[Kate Menig]

The original was six.

[Doug]

And then three in the reboot and.

[Chelsea Handler]

Three in the reboot. And did you direct one of the episodes for the reboot? Yeah.

[Doug]

Which was something I always wanted to do, but yeah, it's the life of an actor, kind of.

[Kate Menig]

It's not for the fainted heart. And now it's shifted in a completely different way that.

[Chelsea Handler]

How do you think it's shifted now?

[Kate Menig]

Well, for one you can't get it into rooms anymore. So everything's just based on your Zoom audition. So there's never any feedb. And because there's so many mergers and all these companies are either forming or breaking apart, nothing is safe. I think part of the reason why our reboot got canceled is because of a merger. And even when a project seems like it's gonna be great. Oh, well, maybe not. Because either a company is gonna fold into another one, or that's no longer the direction, or a new president is coming in, and it's just this. Nothing's settled yet.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's so weird. It's like there's so much money in entertainment and there's so many platforms now, yet there seems to be like a contraction happening. You know, a severe contraction, and it doesn't really add up. Cause all the money's at the top. You know, they don't want to distribute it down, like, evenly to anyone. So it's just like, greedy, greedy, greedy. I guess it's a reflection of what's happening in Washington, really. You know, it's kind of the same thing. It's like, people are so greedy, they don't want to pay. But. So let's talk about the experience of being on the L Word and what that meant to you, because it was really the only show about lesbians and such a huge success on Showtime. Right.

[Kate Menig]

Did you ever see it?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, of course. Of course. Yeah. And you don't think only lesbians watched it?

[Kate Menig]

No, actually, no. I know for a fact a lot of straight women watched it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Doug]

They really identified with the friendships, I think.

[Kate Menig]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, let's talk about that. Let's talk about the French. It's so funny because with heterosexual people, it's like, I just had this conversation the other day, or maybe it was somebody who called into the podcast we were talking about. You wouldn't be talking about these feelings if it wasn't a straight man and you were a straight woman and they were both in other relationships and they were talking about their friendship and if there were feelings. And it's like, you can have male friends without having sexual feelings, but at the inception of meeting every man and woman, when they're both heterosexuals, there's always the glance over of like, would I fuck you? Do I find you attractive? Like, that's the first thing that comes to your mind. Because of how we've all been trained, you know, like in this routine. But with lesbians and friendships, I want to explore that more and talk about that, because that was depicted on the show. So.

[Doug]

Well, I would assume that, like, if you're friends, obviously, you're obviously going to be sleeping together. It's the same thing.

[Kate Menig]

Like, everyone's shocked that Leisha and I have never crossed that line. Because it's such a rarity, actually. Cause a lot of you think it's rare.

[Doug]

I do.

[Kate Menig]

I think kinda. I do, yeah. It's normal for like two women to like be together at one point, break up, and then 10 years down the line they're best friends, like to the point where they're family. You and I, we never.

[Doug]

No, we never did. We never crossed and we never wanted to. It never occurred to either one of us.

[Chelsea Handler]

No.

[Kate Menig]

That would just be unnatural.

[Chelsea Handler]

I find when lesbian. All of my lesbian friends, when one of them breaks up, like six of them break up. It happens in seasons, like when they break up with a partner, a long term partner.

[Kate Menig]

It's a domino's.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's a domino effect.

[Kate Menig]

Interesting.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right now I'm experiencing three sets of.

[Doug]

Lesbian couples that are breaking up out of major relationships.

[Kate Menig]

Or like, I've never. I'm gonna pay attention to that. I've never noticed it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know it's very strange. I mean, I think that's the advantage of being a straight person and being so immersed in the lesbian world. I have so many lesbians in my life, so I get the best of both worlds. I assume at some point I will transition into being a full blown lesbian just because the writing's on the wall.

[Kate Menig]

There, you know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

So I guess they're just waiting for me to come over.

[Doug]

You know, you'd be a great one.

[Kate Menig]

You'd be welcome to open arms.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you.

[Doug]

You really would be like, everyone would love to have you, of course.

[Chelsea Handler]

So what was the experience like of being able to depict that in a truthful, healthy way? Like what? Like sharing that experience together.

[Kate Menig]

Well, it's interesting because I think the perception outside of our show is that it. So it was only designed for the male gaze. And that was a lot of critique we always heard.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. Everyone thought, oh, it's only for straight men to get off on and to like. And it's clearly being directed.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why is every. Everything's to serve up to straight men.

[Kate Menig]

Precisely. And the irony is that the whole show was run by women and written by. And written by. Yeah. And so it actually had, like you said this before and it's true that like women can sexualize each other as well. It wasn't just for. And objectify and objectify each other. It's not just for men. And so that was sort of a disconnect that we on the show always thought. That's so off base, actually, to what's really going on here.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I mean, if you guys had a male creator and a male director, I mean, can you imagine the shit you would have gotten? Well, maybe not back in that time we did have. It would have been fine, actually, because people wouldn't have called it out.

[Doug]

Right. We did have male directors, and they were all great. Like, everyone took it really seriously. Like, everyone felt the pressure to get it right. It was like, okay, this is like.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. And all the male directors were always saying, is this right? Is this okay? Like, I don't want to it make. I don't wanna push it or anything. And so they always.

[Doug]

Does this ring true?

[Chelsea Handler]

Would you really dig this?

[LK]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

They always left it up to us to decide, oh, you're like, pushing the boundary. And they'd listen. If we had extreme critique to an idea they had, they go, okay, fine.

[Doug]

Yeah. And it was way before intimacy coordinators, which are like, now.

[Kate Menig]

It's like.

[Doug]

It's a whole thing now. But, I mean, we're gonna have intimacy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Coordinators in our real lives at certain.

[Doug]

I gotta say. Come on. Right now. I mean, welcome in.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, that's how serious intimacy coordinators have gotten.

[Doug]

You know, back then, we were just like. We would work it out with each other with, like. It was all just like.

[Kate Menig]

It was always on the day. It was like, we'd be on set and we'd say, all right, let's figure this out. How are we gonna do this?

[Doug]

Yeah, how are we gonna do this?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Doug]

But to answer your question earlier, like, because I was out and, like, I was, like, the only gay one at the time, even though.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah. You were still dating men, right, when the show started?

[Kate Menig]

Not really. No. Like, I had. I had dated guys, but I wasn't. I don't think I was dating anyone when that show started.

[Doug]

You had just broken up, or maybe.

[Kate Menig]

I just stopped, like, dating some guy. But I was sort of. It was nothing serious. Serious when I got up to Canada, but go ahead.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's right. Canada.

[Kate Menig]

Canada. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. But we're all going back there, so.

[Kate Menig]

Yes. Yes, we are.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm just slowly transitioning into Canada permanently before they become the 51st state anyway.

[Doug]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let's not talk about that. Let's keep things happy.

[Kate Menig]

Yes.

[Doug]

Back to pussy.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah.

[Doug]

No, I. Like, I felt this responsibility to represent our community correctly, but I Didn't even know the impact the show was gonna have. Like, I thought it was gonna be this really underground indie TV show that.

[Kate Menig]

Nobody saw, but everybody wanted to get it.

[Doug]

Yes.

[Kate Menig]

We had a sexpert show up during the pilot with a big binder talking about, like, talking about sex toys and how.

[Doug]

And like a toolbox and an acclimate.

[Kate Menig]

A toolbox and all these. Yeah, all of these, like, all these. All these apparatuses to be like, okay, so here are all the options one has. And everyone was sitting there like, oh, okay, okay. And like there was a whole seminar about it. So everyone had a really clear agenda. No one wanted to fuck it up.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

I don't know. I think we all live.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm like, I thought you were gonna continue. Okay, I was kinda, but with the recognition. I mean, I'm sure here in town. Right. Obviously you were being. People were approaching you all the time. No, they weren't.

[Doug]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really? In la?

[Kate Menig]

No, no, we were in Canada. No one cared about us. Oh, we lived in Canada for like nine months or something. Oh.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm. But so you weren't living in LA at all?

[Kate Menig]

No, we were during hiatus, but no one. When we got home. I don't think anyone really seemed to care that much.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. Unless you went to a gay bar. That was a different story.

[Doug]

That was different.

[Kate Menig]

Wandering down the street.

[Doug]

Oh, yeah, no, yeah, it was kind of like a. Like an insular fame. Like, it was.

[Kate Menig]

It was very know. You know, totally.

[Doug]

Kind of like it was very big in the gay community. But, like, if you go to like, Ralph's Supermarket, you're fine.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah, Like, Perez Hilton wasn't. Didn't care about us whatsoever.

[Leisha Haley]

You.

[Kate Menig]

No, he didn't care.

[Chelsea Handler]

When is Perez Hilton gonna go away?

[Kate Menig]

Is my next question.

[Chelsea Handler]

I thought he'd get all around the most repugnant. I mean, honestly, didn't he go away? Oh, he went away, but he's back. I mean, he's not back, but he's in the ether. And every once in a while he pops up on my. And I'm like, this guy is like, what are those? Lizards. Lizards that just recreate and you cut their tail off and then they come back and they grow. I mean, talk about toxic. Talk about negative. Oh, my God, he's the worst. Anyway, that's a sidebar. Okay, so after the show ended, when it did end, and you went on tour, where did you go on tour?

[Doug]

Yeah, all around the world. It was really fun. I had a fan, isn't it? Yeah. Called uh huh, her. And it was a blast and I loved doing it and I felt really like at home in a band. So that was great. Yeah, I just didn't concentrate on getting another show. And like Kate went off to do.

[Kate Menig]

I played a doctor.

[Doug]

Oh yeah, you played a doctor and then you were on Ray Donovan forever.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And so how did, how do your other acting experiences compare to being on the L Word?

[Kate Menig]

It was like night and day really completely. I went from night and days. Well, I went from our show, which was on cable, where you could get away with anything, to network television where you couldn't get away with a single thing. And so it was very controlled. I don't think they knew what really to do with me necessarily. I didn't have that kind of look that would cater to their audience. And so I was sort of shoved off to the side a bit.

[Chelsea Handler]

And do you think you. But do you think you got that job because of the L Word?

[Kate Menig]

I think I got that job because of a producer named Curtis Hansen who fought for me. I don't think I got that job because CBS was like, yeah, let's get her. Absolutely not. And that was a very short lived job. And then I luckily landed on Ray Donovan. That just kept going and going and going. And that was back on Showtime. So at least I didn't have to prove myself right. So I showed up and I was like, you guys know me, you know what I can do. So I felt more at home there than I did on mainstream.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that's interesting. I mean, not surprising. You know, mainstream television is just like such a cudgel. It's just so. It's like first of all, getting notes from a network.

[Kate Menig]

Well, that was the thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's so obtrusive. It's like you're not a creator at all. Like the whole system seems like it needs to be broken.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah, it was. Yeah. Everyone gave notes and assistance of people gave notes. There was always notes getting thrown around.

[Chelsea Handler]

And sometimes the note giving is just like an exercise of giving notes. Like they're just pretending to be doing a job because they have to give you. They can't be like, we have no notes.

[Leisha Haley]

Oh yeah. They have to justify their existence basically.

[Kate Menig]

Precisely. Yeah, it's. Yeah.

[Doug]

And don't they have like catchphrases like Easter egg or what? You know, like they have things.

[Kate Menig]

No, it's more like, can you not. Oh, it varies. I mean it can go from like appearance down to how you're delivering a line. God only knows but it gets to a point where you have to say, I'm not. No, stop. Like, I'm not doing it. And. What, you're not doing it. It's like, I'm not doing it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

I'm not doing it.

[Doug]

Kate's great at that.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's good.

[Doug]

She's always been good at the nose.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's nice.

[Kate Menig]

I've been. Yeah, it's been like a lifelong, like, since we've known each other for what, like 20. A long time. And I've been trying to teach her the word no from day one.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Doug]

I'll go into, like.

[Chelsea Handler]

I can see that from reading your book that you guys. That you're good at no and you're not.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. Like, no is a complete sentence.

[Chelsea Handler]

Absolutely. I love it. I mean, even I've had to learn how to say no. And people would be surprised to hear that.

[Doug]

I am surprised right now hearing that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

Really?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, absolutely. Cause I wanna. I wanna be generous with my time. And you get confused about what that means. You know what I mean? Generosity with your time doesn't necessarily necessarily mean saying yes to everything. You can be generous and also say no. So that took a long time to understand because I. Yeah. And I wanted to be one of those people who you could rely on to do anything. Like the outrage. I'll do that. Don't worry. I'm easy. I'll deal with that, you know?

[Doug]

Or you can handle it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I can handle it. And then you realize you're just subscribing to being in the boys club. And then you're like, wait, wait, wait. I'm catering to men right now. I actually want to be catering to women. Not to mention. So it's like that. I had to go through that a little bit. Not a little bit, a lot. But, yeah, I understood it and recognized it and then fixed it. Was there, like, an episode to you that really was more meaningful than any of the others? An episode in a world.

[Kate Menig]

Oh, God.

[Doug]

Meaningful? I don't know.

[Kate Menig]

I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

Or profound to you.

[Kate Menig]

It was so long ago.

[Doug]

It was like a soap opera, too. Like, let's not, like, over.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what I mean?

[Kate Menig]

It was silly.

[Chelsea Handler]

And maybe the overall series had a. Had more meaning than each individual, the sum of its parts.

[Doug]

I think it broke down barriers. I think it opened eyes. It showed people not just one character. You always see one lesbian or one lesbian couple, or they die or they're coming out. It's always a coming out story. But this was like, no, we're functioning women in the world. We have careers, we have friendships, we have relationships. That's what it did. It just.

[Chelsea Handler]

And we like to eat pussy.

[Doug]

Yeah. And there's that. And it's like. I don't know, it just was this well rounded idea.

[Kate Menig]

It's hard to think of one episode. Cause my memories now.

[Chelsea Handler]

I can understand that. It's so interesting when you look at, especially in our industry, there are so many women that become late in life lesbians. There are so many women who get divorced and they're like, I'm done with this. I'm done with men. And then they're lesbians. And it's like, it's almost. I don't know if it's a sign of the times that we live in where men have just outworn their welcome and everyone, all of their secrets have been exposed and we're just done with it. Or if this happens in every generation, you know, where they're. Where a woman is 50 or 40s and 50s and starts going, you know what? I don't want to be with men anymore.

[Doug]

Yeah. I don't have to. I have choices.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you think that happens during every generation?

[Doug]

Oh, it's always been around.

[Kate Menig]

It's always been around. But now there's.

[Chelsea Handler]

Gay people are new.

[Kate Menig]

But there's a less binary way of looking at it. So, you know, I look at how teenagers look at themselves and they say, I'm open to anything. And that's translating into people our age. And I think that's wonderful. So it's. There's not so much fear. And it's just you can be whoever you are and you don't have to label it. And who you love is who you love. And that sounds like a super cheesy motto, but it's true. And I think the less labeling is, I think helping people accept who they are more.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I decided. I was at a. I got a mammogram the other day and they were asking like, ethnicity. Da, da, da. And I was like, I'm not answering these questions anymore. You know what I mean? This is outdated. You guys have to update your forms. It doesn't matter if I'm married or not. It doesn't matter if I'm white or Asian or Caucasian or, you know, I.

[Leisha Haley]

Was at the doctor the other day.

[Chelsea Handler]

Where are these?

[Leisha Haley]

There was a line that said, what is the gender of the head of your household? And I was like, what?

[Doug]

What?

[Leisha Haley]

Like what? 19?

[Chelsea Handler]

You should have bit T for trans.

[Leisha Haley]

Like what? Like, yeah, yeah.

[Kate Menig]

Unnecessary. Completely unnecessary.

[Doug]

What kind of doctor?

[Leisha Haley]

A gp?

[Kate Menig]

Just like, yeah, I had an eye doctor. I went to an eye doctor and I was asked something about my ethnicity, and I was like, what difference does it make? And I looked at him and he's like, sorry, it's on the forum. And I was like, why?

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Don't you think that the political environment we're living in is a direct reflection of the fact that most people are coming to terms. Not most people, but the majority of educated people are coming to terms with the fact that all of this is such nonsense. All of these labels are such nonsense. Like, it is the death cough of white supremacy. I don't know if we'll experience the end of it, but it's definitely the last stages of it. And that could be another 150 years. I don't know. But it's the old white man's reaction to women going, no, no, no, we don't need labels. We might like boys, we might like girls, we might like both. We might like nothing. They're not willing to accept that.

[Kate Menig]

It certainly adds to the fear that they're no longer in power.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I got this great book, this friend. I'm gonna do this when we do our book Roundup. My friend, my makeup artist in New York gave it to me, and she was going over all these women in history who've gone unnoticed and all these painters, and that there was a period in the 1600s where there was this explosion of female talent. And by explosion, there were, like, 13 really well known painters in Paris during that period of time where all these paint were coming up. And there were 13 of them, and they were in history books in the 1600s. And then when you get past 1800, they're gone. There's complete erasure of them because men were so threatened by the few that got in and the successes that they reached, which were beyond the reaches of the men that they decided, okay, we're gonna take their work and claim it as our own, and women are no longer allowed to paint.

[Doug]

Isn't that the same with Hollywood, at women directors? They directed everything at the beginning of Hollywood.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, right. That's true.

[Doug]

And then it was gone.

[Chelsea Handler]

And so, I mean, that's not a new information, but it's nice to. It's so funny how threatened they are by us, yet we're not that threatened by them.

[Kate Menig]

Right. How women have been the enemy to them since the beginning of time, essentially.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why are you so threatened by us? Because we're not threatened by you. So we'll threaten you. We'll threaten your bodies. We'll threaten. Yes, you're right, because. Yeah, so it's nice to know this has been going on for quite some time, at least from that alone. On that note, we'll take a break and we'll be right back with Leisha Haley and Kate Menig.

[Leisha Haley]

If you'd like advice from Chelsea, write into [e-mail] we'd love to hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on, but this week we're specifically looking for questions about family issues. If you have an issue with a family member or you need advice about a specific relationship issue, please write [e-mail].

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

Listen up guys. You know what's better than being a jittery mess after your third coffee? Actually functioning like a normal human being. Beyond Brew by Live Conscious is a six in one mushroom blend that won't make you trip balls, but it will give you mental clarity and focus to get through your day. Thanks to mushrooms like cordyceps and Reishi. Beyond Brew also has pre and probiotics so you'll feel less bloated and avoid seven trips to the bathroom every day. I love it because you can put it in your coffee or just mix it into hot water or milk. It also tastes great in smoothies. Look, Forbes called Beyond Brew a deliciously potent coffee alternative and 400,000 people can't be wrong. With barely any caffeine, it won't have you crashing midday and at just 20 calories per serving, you'll get all the benefits and none of the guilt. Unlike going to your favorite coffee chain. Plus, it comes in cacao, caramel macchiato and vanilla latte because we are not savages. Trust me, I genuinely feel better after taking this step. Your mind and body will thank you later. Go to liveconscious.com and use code Chelsea for 15% off. And we're back with Leisha, Haley and Kate Manig. Okay, what do we got today?

[Leisha Haley]

So many lesbian questions. So many.

[Kate Menig]

Oh, we did this on our podcast.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you do?

[Leisha Haley]

Advice.

[Kate Menig]

Yes.

[Leisha Haley]

Awesome.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh I love it.

[Kate Menig]

Well versed in the advice. Sort of.

[Leisha Haley]

Well, this first one is just a write in. We do have a couple callers so we'll spend a little time with this one, but then we'll move on to our callers. So this one is from Lola. She's not joining us, she says. Dear Chelsea, I've been in a relationship with my partner Bridget for two and a half years and her ex girlfriend Samantha just never goes away. When we started dating, I knew things were complicated with her ex, but it was impossible to comprehend how the situation would impact me in the future. My partner Bridget was in a three and a half year relationship with Samantha, who is her sister's best friend and coworker.

[Doug]

Wait, wait, I need a chill.

[Leisha Haley]

This is getting a little bit of a challenge.

[Kate Menig]

Can you repeat that one section?

[Leisha Haley]

So the writer, her partner, the ex is the partner's sister's best friend. Co Worker.

[Kate Menig]

The ex is the partner's sister's best friend.

[Leisha Haley]

So it's like if I'm the girlfriend, it's my sister's best friend. So like kind of around like in the family, that sort of thing.

[Kate Menig]

Okay, okay.

[Leisha Haley]

Samantha is also a single mom. This is the ex to a 10 year old daughter. She was 3 to 4 years old when they started dating. My partner has a close relationship with her daughter and this is something I've always tried to support as the child has nothing to do or their breakup or does it they'll even FaceTime and it's a little awkward for me though I find her commitment to her ex's child admirable. I do struggle with this. Not because she's spending time with the child, but because Samantha is still deeply in love with my partner. At the beginning of our relationship, she would call, text and FaceTime multiple times a week. I always found it to be weird, but it started making me uncomfortable when she began to ask my partner to give her another chance professing her feelings for her. Bridget ended up blocking her for over a year. I know this is immature of me, but within the last year something told me to check out Samantha's social media and what I saw was bizarre. And if I'm honest, I feel a little embarrassed for her. She regularly makes tiktoks about my partner where she's professing her love for her, saying that she's her soulmate and that she'll do anything to get her back. Though I find it sad and embarrassing that this 37 year old woman is consistently making tiktoks about a person who broke up with her three years ago. I still find myself feeling insecure about this. When I express my concerns, my partner mostly validates my feelings but also brushes it off. I want to find a way to be more secure knowing that Samantha's always going to be around. Is it possible for Bridget to have a relationship with this child without having a close friendship with Samantha? And what if anything should I do about the social media obsession? Lola.

[Doug]

Oh God, that is deep.

[Kate Menig]

That's also very.

[Doug]

That goes outside of gay too.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's just sort of like I think this is all your problem, you guys.

[Kate Menig]

It is.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think this is all about being gay.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah, like codependency and toxicity and boundary crossing. Boundary crossing. And then there's a child involved. I mean it's just. It's a mess.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is a mess.

[Kate Menig]

I'm sorry.

[Chelsea Handler]

No dis that your partner needs to.

[Doug]

I was confused because I thought Bridget the partner blocked.

[Leisha Haley]

She had blocked her, but then I think she unblocked her at some point.

[Kate Menig]

Okay, but Lola. Right, the writer. Lola, had not blocked her and fell into this awful habit of tracking her on social media. TikTok, is it? TikTok. Whatever. So that's a problem. You just have to break that cycle. Just. You can fall into that easily.

[Doug]

I think the issue lies definitely with Sam. Right. You just have to know who Sam is and that Sam has some issues. But I think within the relationship, they have to figure out what boundaries are, like, gonna be there. Because kid or no kid, and I don't have kids, I really can't speak to it, but, like, this woman seems a little unsafe.

[Chelsea Handler]

Totally unsafe. And also this is an issue that her partner needs to address with her.

[Doug]

Yes, that's what I'm saying.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it should be also with relation to the child. Like, if you want me to continue to be in your child's life, which is what I want and my partner wants, you have to understand that I am in another relationship. And you have to. To act in a mature way and respect that relationship, the relationship that I'm in. Like, she has to honor that relationship. She's TikToks. I would like getting back together. What is she in eighth fucking grade? Like, that's what I mean, who.

[Doug]

That's where you're dealing with something different.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly. That's not the most stable adult. But I honestly would say, like, I'm not going to have a relationship with your child unless you can act in a more mature way about our relationship that is over.

[Doug]

Can you do that? Because doesn't the child suffer?

[Chelsea Handler]

The child does suffer, but it sounds like you have to give her. Put something up there, like, that's at stake. Because right now she's just getting everything she wants.

[Doug]

Everything.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what I mean? She's got her involvement with the child. She's probably using her child to remain in her ex's life.

[Kate Menig]

That's 100% true.

[Chelsea Handler]

And so when does that end? You know what I mean?

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. Some serious boundaries need to be.

[Leisha Haley]

Wow. So it sounds like this is a conversation Lola needs to have with her partner and say, like, you gotta put some ground rules here.

[Kate Menig]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I mean, if they can do it.

[Doug]

Together, they can go to her team.

[Kate Menig]

But you need a teammate. Lola needs a teammate in Bridget. Like, there needs to be. You need to be.

[Doug]

I would go as a unified front. Yes, precisely, Sam. And say this is what we need to do.

[Chelsea Handler]

You would.

[Kate Menig]

You have to. Yeah. Strength in numbers. Absolutely.

[Doug]

Well, also, it's like we're together.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. So you have to. Yeah. So a unified front to the problem at hand. Absolutely. Otherwise, you're just.

[Doug]

Just.

[Kate Menig]

You're screaming into nothing.

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah. Is this a letter? Is this an email? What do we think? I don't think it's a text.

[Doug]

Well, where do they live?

[Leisha Haley]

Where do they live?

[Chelsea Handler]

In.

[Doug]

Sit down.

[Kate Menig]

Where do they live? In proximity to each other.

[Doug]

I think they need to sit down.

[Kate Menig]

This is a person person.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, in person.

[Kate Menig]

In public. In a public setting. Not at someone's house.

[Leisha Haley]

What?

[Kate Menig]

Yeah, don't come over, and I don't want to go to yours. Let's meet publicly. We'll get the chat.

[Leisha Haley]

Screaming or crying, hopefully.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Kate Menig]

You want to temper the. The.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I would say it's her responsibility because it's her ex and it's her relationship, but you guys are saying that they should do it together as a unified front. I don't. Either way, it should definitely be in person, and it should be. You know, these are the new set of rules. Like, either you can follow them, and you can't be making TikToks about me. Like, that's. That's a boundary crossing. Like, you can't do that.

[Leisha Haley]

Find some fresher content.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's delusional, and it's sad. And what does that say to your kid? Like, your kid's gonna see those one day. People don't understand when you make those videos, they're there forever. Like, they're out there, and then everyone's gonna find everything, you know?

[Kate Menig]

Do you have TikTok?

[Chelsea Handler]

I do have TikTok, but I don't go on it. I mean, I have a social media team. Like, I have enough addictions in my life. You know what I mean? I'm on Instagram. I'll go on Instagram, but I don't. On TikTok, it's like, no, I don't have the bandwidth for that.

[Leisha Haley]

All right, well, Lola, let us know how it goes.

[Kate Menig]

Poor Lola.

[Leisha Haley]

I know. That's a lot messy.

[Kate Menig]

That's heavy.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's a lot.

[Leisha Haley]

Well, our next caller is lk. LK has actually called in before. She called in on our Dylan Mulvaney episode, which we recorded a long, long time ago. So LK says, hi, Chelsea, it's me again. Lk. I have yet another crush to pick your brain about. I'm over the hump of working through some stuff back in the spring, so feeling a little bit more feisty. I've been working on myself relentlessly while engaging In a slippery slope with an old flame who I care about. Progress is being made, but I'm still not ready for a committed relationship. Meanwhile, I've developed a crush on my hairdresser. Is this some gay rite of passage I've dodged until now? She's married to a man. Oof. But this gal is the poster child of closeted homos. I know it's not my job to jumpstart her Lezi awakening, but on the other hand, that seems like it could be super fun and gay. The problem is she maintains she isn't gay while being really playful about how gay she presents to the world. I asked if my playfulness about it was offensive to her. She says, nope, you're just hurting your own feelings. She isn't wrong, but my gut tells me she's for the girls deep down in her soul. Should I keep the playful flirting with hopes and prayers, or just stick to my monthly haircut for a crush fix? Queerly confused.

[Kate Menig]

Lk, really simple. Can I just answer this?

[Doug]

Oh, go.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, she might talk back and then you're not gonna hear her.

[Kate Menig]

Sorry, I have. I have feelings on this.

[Chelsea Handler]

First of all. Hi.

[Doug]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi. Hello. Hello.

[Doug]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank God. Thank God. Okay. Kate has some very strong feelings about this.

[Kate Menig]

Hi, lk.

[Leisha Haley]

Hello.

[Chelsea Handler]

This. Kate and Leisha are here today. Our special guests are having a little.

[LK]

Bit of gay panic.

[Doug]

Hi.

[Kate Menig]

Don't gay panic. Please. Please. But my word of advice is don't waste your energy with your hairdresser.

[Doug]

Why?

[Kate Menig]

Because it's just. It's too much trouble for. No, for very little payoff.

[LK]

I'm avoidant as fuck. And I think I'm using these crushes as a distraction from my real feelings. You feel me?

[Leisha Haley]

You said there's somebody else that's like a long term person you have feelings for, right?

[LK]

Yes, yes, yes. We've been on and off again for at least a couple years now. And I keep, you know, doing the whole avoidant running away thing and I think these crushes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah. Why?

[Kate Menig]

Why are you doing that?

[LK]

Well, I don't know. I'm asking you guys.

[Doug]

Well, to walk us through that situation. It's way better than the hairdresser.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I know.

[LK]

I move quick.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, let's talk about what's going on now.

[LK]

Yeah, yeah, let's.

[Kate Menig]

But what about the avoidant problem?

[Doug]

The other one? The one that you're on and off.

[Leisha Haley]

With on that in therapy?

[LK]

I have made some progress. We're seeing each other now. I'm trying to be very slow and deliberate. Going to therapy Weekly. Still, I do think I've made some progress, but I still have the tendencies of just to engage in avoidant behaviors. You know, when things get a little too real a bolt.

[Doug]

Oh, that's what it is.

[Kate Menig]

Because you try to avoid conflict. Yeah.

[Doug]

No. No. Intimacy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Try to avoid love.

[Kate Menig]

Love.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

Okay.

[Doug]

You don't like being vulnerable.

[LK]

Yeah, I'm an enneagram.

[Kate Menig]

You sound like Shane.

[Chelsea Handler]

Actually.

[Kate Menig]

We're gonna get real about it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, you're an enneagram 8. I'm an enneagram 8. I used to have problems being vulnerable and being intimate, too.

[LK]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And therapy is exactly where you need to be for those issues.

[LK]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

You have to run. Listen, like, I know there's no fast forwarding these emotions, but, like, you recognize a pattern in your behavior, you're doing something about it. And every time you have an instinct that is your pattern, you have to try to fight that. You have to run towards what you're running away from, in a sense.

[Doug]

Great advice.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you have to, like, practice that on a daily basis because it is totally possible to create new habits. It is totally possible. I just got an email yesterday from Jane Fonda about something, and she said, it's so nice. We were talking about. We were talking about therapy, and she said, it's like when you create new neural pathways, it's like you're changing the temperature on a thermostat, because once you change it, it doesn't change again until you go back and change it. And I thought that was such a great way to put it, and it's so true. Like, doing the work of therapy is great, but you have to supplement that with the work that you're doing on your own. When you're out there in the real world, you have to practice running towards the things that make you feel uncomfortable, that make you feel scared, because those are just. Just feelings. That's a pattern of behavior. Something that happened in your childhood. It could have been many things that happened in your childhood. But what you're saying is you want a relationship. Right. She died.

[Doug]

I have to say, I think a lot of people don't even recognize her patterns till late in life.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Doug]

Like, they don't even.

[Chelsea Handler]

But she's saying she's avoidant. So she knows it.

[Doug]

She knows it. But like, a lot of people, that first step. Oh, my God, I think half people are, like, asleep until you're like, oh, I've realized now, I've been doing this, like, my whole life.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then as soon as it's like, it's so it's so powerful to recogn, to be told, or to understand what your issue is so that you can go out there and combat it. You're like, oh, okay, I'm this type of person. I might identify as this. I don't like this. I don't like. I used to be like, oh, I don't like romance. I mean, I really don't like, you know, a lot of, like, kitschy shit. You know, like Valentine's Day. Me neither. I don't like when people. Men, send me flowers. Like, I'm just like, save that. I'd rather get a nice note.

[Kate Menig]

Write me a card.

[Chelsea Handler]

Write me a nice text. I value that way more than anything you could ever buy me or any kind of cheesy acts of love. But that's not a fear of intimacy. That's actually what I've learned is, like, my style. You like things with intention, my love language. You know what I mean? But I think once you identify what your issues are, like her fear of intimacy, that is so freeing to know that, because that is the first and biggest step you get to correct.

[Doug]

Exactly. Like, maybe with this girl she's with, she's been in this pattern of pushing her away, pushing her, and maybe she just realized, like, oh, I have an issue.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's back. Did we get too intimate for you? Did you drop the call on purpose?

[LK]

No, my iPhone overheated. I'm on my lunch break in my car in Alabama.

[Doug]

Where are you?

[Kate Menig]

In Alabama.

[LK]

And my iPhone overheated.

[Chelsea Handler]

First of all, get out of Alabama. Yeah. You need to get as far away from Alabama as you can. But we understand. Do you understand how powerful it is to know what your issue is? Right. You know, that you have a fear of intimacy? You know, you're avoidant. Those are superpowers now. You use those as superpowers.

[Doug]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Cause you're gonna use that and go, okay, look what I'm doing right now. This is me being avoidant. Even if you say it to your girlfriend and start calling her your girlfriend, that is your girlfriend, and you actively want to. You want a relationship. Is that right?

[LK]

That's right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is it? That's right. You tell me. Do you want a relationship?

[LK]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Great. Keep saying that out loud. I want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship. I want to love someone, and I want them to love me. Write that down. Every fucking morning, put it on your mirror, and say it to yourself. And get comfortable with saying that. It's great to say those things. It's great to say. I wanna be in love. I wanna be loved. I wanna love. Say it. Just keep fucking saying it.

[Doug]

And I love the practice of going towards what you're scared of. That's such a great.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Doug]

It's like a hat.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's a whole world waiting for you. There's a whole world waiting for you once you get over yourself. Yeah, yeah, that's true. And identifying your issues is, I honestly would argue, is probably like, 75% of the.

[LK]

Now.

[Chelsea Handler]

You just have to work at maintaining that because that's very, very honest. When you were gone, asleep at the wheel, we were talking about you, and Leisha was saying.

[Doug]

You said it, and I was like.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, you said it.

[Kate Menig]

You said it.

[Doug]

Who cares?

[Kate Menig]

No, it wasn't me.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was something you said.

[Doug]

But you were saying that we don't realize our patterns.

[Kate Menig]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah.

[Leisha Haley]

Oh, that's right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you. Thank you. Most people don't even realize that they're avoidant or that they have a fear of intimacy. So therefore.

[LK]

Yeah, I'm avoidant.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Okay, great. So this is. There's so much power in that. Use it as power instead of using it as a. As a crutch. Okay.

[Doug]

And you could even flip what you're saying, like, you're an avoidant. Maybe you start saying, I'm vulnerable, I'm gonna be vulnerable.

[Kate Menig]

That's a good one.

[LK]

Okay.

[Doug]

Like, change the script.

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah. There's something, like, fun and distracting about serial crushes that, like, keep you from having to get into the hard work of a relationship.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, sure.

[Kate Menig]

Cause they're always gonna be unattainable.

[Leisha Haley]

That's the point.

[LK]

Or straight.

[Doug]

Well, you won't be challenged.

[Kate Menig]

Well, they're just not gonna. It's just not gonna happen. It's just a fantasy.

[LK]

I don't even want it to.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah, exactly. You don't even want it to. But it's a nice distraction, right?

[Doug]

Also, she's straight. It sounds like. So that's like a big. That's a lot of hard work.

[Kate Menig]

And more importantly, she's also married. So it's not that she's just gonna.

[LK]

Totally.

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like how that's the. That's the third thing we brought up. You're avoiding. She's straight and. Oh, yeah, she's married. Hey.

[LK]

Hey, Chelsea. I want to say something to you real quick. First of all, the book signs found me because of you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh. Yeah.

[LK]

And that impacted my life so much. So thank you for being so open and vulnerable with stuff like that, because I've got a Lot of grief, a lot of help on the other side. And that book was amazing. So thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

And if you have a lot of grief and you have a lot of help on the other side, it's also important to be crying in front of people. Okay, exercise that. Cry in front of this person. Let yourself be vulnerable. Practice that and get better at it. I used to not be able to cry in front of anybody. Anybody.

[LK]

I can cry in front of her, but she's one of the. Maybe the only person that I can't.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, just keep practicing it. You're gonna get better at crying in front of people. You're gonna get better at your vulnerability. It's a whole new world when you can do that. You're gonna open up yourself to all these possibilities. Not everything has to be tightly wrapped up and, you know, you don't have to control something. You're gonna find all of these people that wanna love you and love on you and be with you and be your support system when you are open and honest and vulnerable. And then you can do the same for others. It's like, about spreading more love and more joyfulness to as many people as you can, especially in this fucking dark time that we're all living in. It's like you owe it to your, you know, you owe it to your community and you owe it to yourself.

[LK]

Yes. That's powerful stuff.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, good. Well, you listen to this podcast back. Write down those things I told you to write down. I'm not joking. Put them on your mirror and say them every morning. Say affirmations to yourself. You're somebody who needs to do that. And then I'm sure we'll hear back from you in another six months about a problem that you had four months ago.

[LK]

Yeah, we're just gonna be like pen pals. But, like, that's fine.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm down, I'm down, I'm down.

[Leisha Haley]

Perfect.

[LK]

And listen, I think you should do a show like this. Like your show Chelsea Does Drugs, also, like meets Queer Eye, and you bring on real people with their problems and you get really high and just knock them out.

[Kate Menig]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't know if my advice would be as effective high, but I probably would be because I'm such a high functioning high person. Okay, have a great day. Okay, bye.

[Doug]

Bye.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you. Bye. Thanks. It's so funny, you know those people who are always laughing and upbeat and ridiculous? Yeah, totally. She's like, got that whole vibe about her, like, yeah, everything's great, everything's great. And then you're like, Everything's not great.

[Kate Menig]

Everything's not good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah. It's hard to keep that going, you know, that for very long.

[Doug]

It breaks down.

[Chelsea Handler]

It does. Yeah. It broke down on me at around 40. That's when I was like, mmm.

[Kate Menig]

It's exhausting.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

It's just this mask.

[Chelsea Handler]

You hate headphones, huh?

[Kate Menig]

It was just hurting my ears because of my glasses.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah, I know.

[Kate Menig]

You know, and like, the stems, I.

[Chelsea Handler]

Know they hurt right now.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Kate Menig]

And also there wasn't someone on the camera, so I just gave my ears a break.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, we're gonna take a break. Please tag me for the special because I get so many tags about my books, but I'm not getting as many about my special. And my special's the newest thing out, so I want to make sure all my ardent fans are watching it and tagging me. And I'll repost you. And yes, it's called the feeling. All right, listen up, people. It's Chelsea Handler and we need to talk about something really important. And they're called orgasms. If you're not making them a priority, PinkCherry.com is here to fix that. Orgasms boost your mood, lower stress, and help you sleep. And let's be honest, we could all use a little release these days. From the iconic magic wand to we Vibes couples toys to the game changing womanizer, pink, pinkcherry.com has everything you need. Solo or with someone, feeling good is the goal. So go to pinkcherry.com and save up to 80% off site wide. You deserve it if you know you owe. Transform your home into a sanctuary with Pura, where premium fragrance meets smart innovation. With over 200 scents from top brands, you can create a custom scent experience in every room right from your phone. And now for a limited time, get a free Pura plus diffuser. When you subscribe to 2 cents for 12 months. Elevate every space intentionally, beautifully. Pura Life is better when it smells Good. Visit pura.com to learn more.

[Brittany]

You see the world differently. Where others see empty lots, you see blueprints where others sit in lecture halls. Future leaders choose Ferris State University to build something real. Ready to dig in and learn through action, Ferris State gives you the tools, the team and training to unleash your potential with paths to high demand careers and in state tuition for non residents. At Ferris State, students don't just study. They build. They lead, they succeed. Visit ferris. Edu Ferris State University we build champions.

[Chelsea Handler]

Listen up, guys. You know what's better than being a jittery mess after your third coffee actually functioning like a normal human being. Beyond Brew by Live Conscious is a six in one mushroom blend that won't make you trip balls, but it will give you mental clarity and focus to get through your day. Thanks to mushrooms like cordyceps and Reishi. Beyond Brew also has pre and probiotics so you'll feel less bloated and avoid seven trips to the bathroom every day. I love it because you can put it in your coffee or just mix it into hot water or milk. It also tastes great in smoothies. Look. Forbes called Beyond Brew a deliciously potent coffee alternative. And 400,000 people can't be wrong with barely any caffeine. It won't have you crashing midday. And at just 20 calories per serving, you'll get all the benefits and none of the guilt, unlike going to your favorite coffee chain. Plus, it comes in cacao, caramel macchiato and vanilla latte because we are not savages. Trust me, I genuinely feel better after taking this stuff. Your mind and body will thank you later. Go to liveconscious.com and use code Chelsea for 15% off. You have questions and we're back. We're back from the break. You guys. Okay?

[Leisha Haley]

Alicia, I'm hoping you don't have too many questions about this because we're hoping for advice. Yeah, but. So Brittany says, Dear Chelsea, I'm not sure how familiar you are with queer culture, but there's a common stereotype known as lesbian bed dust. This term refers to the inevitable decline in sex amongst long term lesbian relationships. One factor at play is my now absence of libido, which is the direct result of antidepressants. We've tried scheduling sex without much success. Another factor that some may relate to is when you get comfortable in a relationship and it's easy to not keep up with physical appearance as you once did, which has led to a decrease in attraction for us. Any advice on how to deal with this? Britney?

[Doug]

I have a straight question because this is a. I feel like it's a myth. I'm gonna say lesbian bed death or it's been put on us and we.

[Kate Menig]

Have this put on us.

[Doug]

Right, but doesn't that happen in straight relationships?

[Leisha Haley]

Yes, we get emails all the time.

[Kate Menig]

People like that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think it happens.

[Doug]

Does it have a name?

[Chelsea Handler]

But like, I mean it's. I think, yeah. I mean I've never heard the term bed death before.

[Kate Menig]

But what do the straight people call it?

[Chelsea Handler]

They don't call it anything. They call it like, I'm fucking sick of you, you know, like, it's hard to maintain a fucking hot sex life with. I mean, living together. Just. I mean, there are couples that have healthy sex lives, and most of those couples don't have children. A, that's one thing. B, you get sick of people. Like, the reason why I love long distance relationships is because, you know, it's something like you're not gonna get sick of. You know, you're not gonna. Gonna annoy me in five days. And if you are, that's a big problem. But, like, if I. I like that sparing amount of time with someone, I know my personality and I would experience bed death within the first year. You know, you have to be really into somebody and, and you have to work hard at maintaining some sort of sex life that's like new and fun and original. And that's really hard to do.

[Doug]

Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because you usually set up a dynamic with somebody and then you have that dynamic, and so you're not creating new sexual, like, shenanigans with someone. You have to. That feels false. And it's also awkward.

[Doug]

Well, the scheduling of sex, it makes me cringe.

[Kate Menig]

No, you have to know the scheduling where you say, okay, on Tuesdays, this is gonna be our time.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, that gives me the creeps.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Kate Menig]

But people. That is advised, though. I know people say, no, it actually works. I can't understand that.

[Chelsea Handler]

But it also, it's also helpful for people who are in a dry spell just to get back into the act of having sex. Because it's like when you don't use your vagina, you start to go, well, I don't need sex. You know, like, who cares? It's like women, when they hit menopause are like, well, I'm not. It hurts. I can't have sex. And it's like, well, you have to use your vagina not to lose your vagina. And also, when you're with somebody for 20 years, most straight couples stop making out. You know, they're not kissing, they're not making out, they're having sex. But it's rudimentary. It's like, oh, God, it's the scheduled.

[Kate Menig]

Sex thing on Tuesdays.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly. It's like, oh, come, come wanna meet me in the shower, and we can get it done real quick. So it's like, check, check. Got it done. I have a lot of friends who talk like that, and a lot of friends. When I say, do you make out with your husband? I would say 90% of my straight friends do not make out with their husbands. They would love to but that ship has sailed.

[Kate Menig]

I've heard that making out actually is more powerful than, like, scheduling sex time.

[Doug]

When you would say kissing is everything.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. Kissing is, like, the most intimate.

[Doug]

It also gets you going, right?

[Kate Menig]

Yes, it does. But even if it doesn't get that far, it still represents a level of intimacy that sex doesn't always.

[Chelsea Handler]

Absolutely. And there's, like, cuddling and snuggling. That goes along with kissing. That goes a long way too. Like, there is intimate. That is intimate. That is intimacy as well. Sex can be non intimate, you know?

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah, that's true too.

[Kate Menig]

But lesbian bed death. It's like the lesbian bed death thing. I think it gets put on us because you think of two women and two women get together and they just want to, like, nuzzle in and stay at home and nurture and get a bunch of cats and never leave. And.

[Chelsea Handler]

And order takeout.

[Kate Menig]

And order takeout. Exactly. And so I think that's how that stigma got put on us.

[Leisha Haley]

Yeah. Just the overall, and I feel like scheduling sex is awful, but scheduling a date night where you can actually reconnect with your partner and, like, go do something novel and different.

[Kate Menig]

I'm with you.

[Leisha Haley]

It's fun.

[Kate Menig]

I'm with you. On the date night. If you make a point to, like, go have dinner or go out and have drinks and get out of the.

[Leisha Haley]

House, rekindle intimacy rather than just the sex part of it. I'll also say because of the antidepressant thing, like, you don't necessarily. I know, like, antidepressants are tricky to get it right, but if you're open to experimenting with some other stuff, like, talk to your doctor because. And say, like, this is what I'm experiencing. I have no sex life because of this. What else can we try? So that might be something to do too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Well, on that very depressing note, I would like to say I am very happy that I am single and that the next person I have sex with is hopefully gonna be a lot of fun.

[Doug]

Well, they'll be new.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, they'll be new. It's like, even when I'm breaking up with someone, I'm like, I can never be sad because I'm like, there's just a new adventure on the whole life.

[Kate Menig]

You know, It's a nice, optimistic way of seeing things.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's just. I. But I. That's how I feel. I'm always like, well, that. Okay, that. That would served its purpose. What other candy is out there, you know? Yeah, that doesn't really help the caller, but that's just my personal philosophy.

[Kate Menig]

Yeah. The grass is always greener.

[Chelsea Handler]

The book is called so Gay for your. It's written by Alicia Haley and Kate Menig. And I think I said it better the first time, but, you know, that's your fault for having that last name.

[Leisha Haley]

I know.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's a great book and these ladies wrote it together, which is so cute.

[Doug]

Thanks.

[Chelsea Handler]

That is cute. How gay? So get yourself a copy and tune in and you can follow them both on instagram and on TikTok. Can they follow you on TikTok?

[Kate Menig]

No, not TikTok.

[Chelsea Handler]

Not on TikTok. Nope.

[Kate Menig]

Not on TikTok.

[Chelsea Handler]

We're not. That's what will be the name of the episode.

[Leisha Haley]

Not on TikTok.

[Chelsea Handler]

Can't see this on TikTok. Thank you, ladies, for coming in today.

[Doug]

Thank you for having us.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Okay, my remaining dates for Vegas. There are remaining dates for this year. Summertime is coming, and I. I will be in Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July 5th will be the next date that I'm there. July 5th, August 30th, and then November 1st and 29th. November 1st and November 29th, I will be in Las Vegas at the Cosmo, performing inside myself at the Chelsea. It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay, thank you.

[Leisha Haley]

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earchelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Brittany]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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