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Anna Sale explores the big questions and hard choices that are often left out of polite conversation.
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Six and a half years ago, in the wake of the #MeToo movement, we asked our listeners how they think about manhood–how to be, what’s hard, where they feel lost. Fast forward to 2025, and the norms and trends around manhood are even more varied and complicated. So we thought it would be a good time to revisit the stories from 2018 and provide updates on some of the men we heard from.If you are a man, or are raising a man, or love a man, and want to share more about what you’re noticing about mixed signals about manhood and masculinity today and where you get stuck, record a voice memo and send it to us at deathsexmoney@slate.com. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When the poet and writer Kaveh Akbar likes something, he really likes it. As a high school student, he got hooked on poetry. In college, it was alcohol. This week, Kaveh talks to Anna Sale about the factors that led to his sobriety, and he explains exactly how he manages a life that’s full of healthy, wonderful obsessions as well as problematic ones. Kaveh’s critically acclaimed novel Martyr! is now available in paperback. You can read about his temporary fixation on collecting basketball cards in GQ. Podcast production by Cameron Drews.Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 2023, Anna and On The Media’s Micah Loewinger traveled to Montana to talk to Tasha Adams, the ex-wife of Stewart Rhodes, who founded the far-right paramilitary group, the Oath Keepers. Stewart had been charged with seditious conspiracy for his participation in the January 6 Capitol riots, and Tasha was eagerly awaiting sentencing: “I need him to stay locked away so my kids can legally cut contact with him when they’re 18.”Tasha described their decades-long marriage, from their courtship in a ballroom dance class in Las Vegas, to abuse and isolation as Stewart became transfixed on politics and apocalyptic ideas. She and her six kids managed to escape in 2018. And shortly after our conversation there was some good news for Tasha: her divorce was finalized, and Stewart got a long sentence – 18 years. Then Trump was re-elected, and on his first day in office he issued nearly 1,500 pardons and commuted the sentences of 14 of his supporters in connection with Jan. 6. Among them was Stewart. This week we’re replaying our 2023 conversation with Tasha, as well as a portion of a follow-up conversation we recorded with her right before Trump’s inauguration.Watch: Trailer for ‘King of the Apocalypse’ Podcast production by Zoe AzulayDeath, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Gary Gulman is used to dealing with bullies. He grew up with older brothers, who he describes as "aggressive" and “unenlightened,” and he’s witnessed plenty of unkind behavior from his peers in the New York City comedy scene. This is all despite being, in his words, “very, very sensitive.” This week, Gary talks about managing that sensitivity, standing up for his principles, and becoming more secure in who he is as a comedian and a man. Podcast production by Andrew Dunn.Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Babygirl, the new erotic thriller starring Nicole Kidman, features an age-gap romance and a power imbalance. But according to the filmmaker Halina Reijn, it’s more about “what part of us is civilized…and what part of us is still driven by primal forces.” It’s also extremely entertaining, sexy, and dryly hilarious. This week, Halina Reijn talks about why she wrote the movie, her decision to move away from a very successful and decades-long acting career, and her mission to get us all talking more openly about our sexual desires. Podcast production by Cameron Drews.Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On election night, while many voters across the country were focused on who would win the presidency, a growing number of Americans were watching the returns with another question in mind: will I win or lose money? That’s because, just weeks before November 5th, a judge ruled that for the first time in almost a century Americans could bet large amounts of money on the outcome of political races. In this episode, we talk to two people who made big bets: Mike, a Latino Democrat who bet $10,000 on Kamala Harris winning, and Jordan, a white conservative Trump supporter who risked $60,000 on Trump's victory. And Slate’s business and tech reporter Nitish Pahwa helps Anna understand the changing legal context for gambling in America. Read Slate’s Nitish Pahwa's post on prediction markets and politics here.Plus, we have new totebags for sale! Check them out. Podcast production by Zoe Azulay Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When is it time to go no contact? In this episode, we talk to four listeners who have recently become estranged from loved ones.This episode was originally aired in 2022, and is part of a three-part series on estrangement. You can listen to the other episodes here: Estrangement Purgatory - Our episode about the contemplation stages of estrangement with a listener named Brian who is considering leaving his religious community.Estrangement’s Alternate Endings - What does long term estrangement look like? And one listener’s choice to get back in touch. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From an early age, Alynda Segarra saw the people they loved grind it out in an American system that offered them little reward. Their father, a musician and Vietnam War veteran, suffered from PTSD, and their aunt and uncle, with whom they lived, were stretched beyond their means. Alynda decided they would take a different path: drop out of school, hop trains, and form a band. "I just thought I should take a bunch of risks in [my family's] honor," Alynda told Anna.In 2024, Hurray for the Riff Raff released their ninth album, The Past Is Still Alive, and it explores that early period of risk-taking and leaving home. In this episode, Alynda talks to Anna about how writing the album, plus the recent death of their father, made them reconsider family dynamics, joy, and what it means to be free.You can read their newsletter, Resist Psychic Death, here. There’s a playlist of the songs in our episode here. Podcast production by Zoe AzulayDeath, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When he was 11 years old, actor Haley Joel Osment was nominated for an Oscar. His resume was already long and impressive, but his role as Cole Sear in M. Night Shyamalan’s psychological thriller The Sixth Sense cemented him as an acting prodigy and a big star. Money, fame, and accolades rapidly flew in his direction. But Osment managed to avoid a lot of the common hurdles that early fame can bring. This week, he talks to Anna Sale about the many factors that led to his relatively smooth child star experience and his continued positive outlook in an industry that can be cruel and unpredictable. Podcast production by Cameron Drews. Death, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.Ad Disclosure in Podcast Description: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One day on his morning Uber route, Jason Armstrong got an email from his father. The message: at 85, he'd decided to end his life by stopping eating and drinking. Jason's first reaction? This was the "ultimate act of narcissism." But over the next few months, as Jason witnessed his dad's careful preparations, his perspective shifted. In this episode, Jason talks to Anna about processing his father's choice - from panic attacks on morning walks to a poignant final night sharing tiny sips of favorite drinks, and opens up about grappling with love, tenderness, and what it means to honor a parent's wishes, even when they're hard to accept. Podcast production by Zoe AzulayDeath, Sex & Money is now produced by Slate! To support us and our colleagues, please sign up for our membership program, Slate Plus! Members get ad-free podcasts, bonus content on lots of Slate shows, and full access to all the articles on Slate.com. Sign up today at slate.com/dsmplus.And if you’re new to the show, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here. Find us and follow us on Instagram and you can find Anna’s newsletter at annasale.substack.com. Our new email address, where you can reach us with voice memos, pep talks, questions, critiques, is deathsexmoney@slate.com.Public.com Ad Disclosure: A Bond Account is a self-directed brokerage account with Public Investing, member FINRA/SIPC. Deposits into this account are used to purchase 10 investment-grade and high-yield bonds. As of 9/26/24, the average, annualized yield to worst (YTW) across the Bond Account is greater than 6%. A bond’s yield is a function of its market price, which can fluctuate; therefore, a bond’s YTW is not “locked in” until the bond is purchased, and your yield at time of purchase may be different from the yield shown here. The “locked in” YTW is not guaranteed; you may receive less than the YTW of the bonds in the Bond Account if you sell any of the bonds before maturity or if the issuer defaults on the bond. Public Investing charges a markup on each bond trade. See our Fee Schedule. Bond Accounts are not recommendations of individual bonds or default allocations. The bonds in the Bond Account have not been selected based on your needs or risk profile. See https://public.com/disclosures/bond-account to learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices