Podcast
Deconstructing Yourself
Hosted by Michael W. Taft · EN
Dedicated to liberation in all its forms, Deconstructing Yourself is passionate about fearlessly investigating, attempting, and questioning all things to do with awakening, meditation, mindfulness, brain hacking, consciousness, neurofeedback, and more.
Your host Michael W. Taft interviews some of the most interesting thinkers, authors, and teachers around, as well as other offerings. In this hard-hitting, radical, and fun podcast we look at secular post-, non-, un- Buddhism, Vajrayana, nondual Hindu Tantra, philosophy, the neuroscience of the sense of self, neurofeedback and the consciousness hacking movement, aspects of artificial intelligence, entheogens, and much more.
If you’re looking for fresh directions, free from dogma and conformism, think of the Deconstructing Yourself podcast as the radical cafe where you can hear from the most interesting luminaries either from the outside edges of dharma, or a fresh take from more traditional teachers. If you’re interested in more, check out the Deconstructing Yourself website at https://deconstructingyourself.com.
12episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
A Conversation with Wystan
Apr 2800:35:22Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft interviews meditation teacher Wystan about teaching awakening outside a strict lineage framework, cultural translation of Buddhist practice, why awakening does not “come with a Buddhist label,” the tension between preserving traditional forms and adapting them for modern students, devotion as a powerful but often avoided dimension of practice, the heartbreak of compassion as barriers of separateness break down, the importance of turning toward suffering rather than distracting from it, gratitude and forgiveness as possible “neo-Brahmaviharas,” why shamatha and vipashyana training can prepare students for more direct nondual practices, and Wystan’s encouragement that awakening is real, possible, and worth pursuing.Wystan is a meditation teacher threading together influences from training in Theravada, Zen, Vajrayana, Dzogchen, and Shinzen Young's systematic secular approach in service of awakening.Learn more at https://www.wystantbs.com/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →Michael Taft Interviewed by Pranab
Feb 700:33:36Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft is interviewed by Pranab Sachithanandan about Michael's Stack Model for deconstructing sensory experience, his "adapter kit" for accessing nondual Vajrayana methods without years of preliminaries, why mantra and visualization are legitimate samadhi tools, how depth of practice maps across the sense gates, a chronic pain patient on a morphine pump who found relief through meditation, the humanities as qualia training, why the "Buddha industrial complex" leaves out people who don't fit a single tradition, and the power of building sangha outside it.Pranab Sachitananadan is the founder of Attention Copilot (attncopilot.com), a service that brings meditative presence into the act of work itself, helping people go from stuckness to flow in real time. Pranab is a longtime student of Michael Taft, a facilitator at Jhourney, and an early hire at several technology startups. Learn more at x.com/nopranablem.You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →The Power of the Heart with Stephen Snyder
Jan 2900:45:40Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft speaks with Stephen Snyder Sensei about the two “missing” brahmaviharas, Innate Goodness practice, heart wisdom vs. mind wisdom, the magic of the “group heart”, the paradox of the Heart Sutra, learning to become receptive, God and the nondual, entities, bodhisattvas, deities, the three types of forgiveness, and the “terrible importance” of heart-based practice.Stephen Mugen Snyder, Sensei began practicing daily meditation in 1976. Since then, he has studied Buddhism extensively—investigating and engaging in Zen, Tibetan, Theravada, and Western non-dual traditions. He was authorized to teach in the Theravada Buddhist tradition in 2007 and the Zen Buddhist schools of Soto and Rinzai in 2022. Stephen is a senior student of Roshi Mark Sando Mininberg and a transmitted teacher in the White Plum Asanga—the body of teachers in the Maezumi-roshi lineage. Stephen is the author of many books, including Trust in Awakening, Demystifying Awakening and Buddha’s Heart. You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →Chasing the Serpent’s Tail with Sravana Borkataky-Varma and Anya Foxen
Dec 200:50:47Tap to summarizeJoin host Michael Taft as he talks with Sravana Borkataky-Varma and Anya Foxen about the wild history of Kundalini—from it’s ancient Tantric roots to modern global yoga culture—including subtle-body maps, spontaneous awakenings, and so-called “Kundalini syndromes.” They explore how different traditions define the serpent power, when experiences become breakdowns or breakthroughs, the role of teachers and lineages, and why “energy” can’t be reduced to either neuroscience or fantasy. Along the way they dive into siddhis, the imaginal realm, goddess-centered practice, and what actually changes in your life and psyche when this mysterious force wakes up.Sravana Borkataky-Varma specializes in Hindu traditions, in particular, she delves into topics such as esoteric rituals and bodily concepts, especially in relation to Hindu śākta tantra traditions, often referred to as goddess tantra. She adopts a research methodology that blends social anthropology—examined from an outside perspective—with elements of reflexive autoethnography that reflect her personal experiences. As an educator, she holds the position of Instructional Assistant Professor at the University of Houston. She has formerly taught at Harvard Divinity School, Rice University, to name a few. Sravana is committed to building communities that bring together individuals from various religious backgrounds who aspire to lead lives marked by kindness and compassion. The Serpent's Tale: Kuṇḍalinī, Yoga, and the History of an Experience, Embodied Pedagogies in the Study of Religion: Transforming the Classroom, are two of her recent books, among many other books and articles. More information about Sravana can be found on her website, https://sravanaspeaks.com/Anya Foxen is a historian and comparativist scholar of religion. She is currently an Associate Professor of Religious Studies at California Polytechnic State University, San Luis Obispo, as well as a Research Associate at the Center for the Study of World Religions at Harvard University. Her scholarly research focuses on the intersection of South Asian yogic and tantric traditions with Western esotericism and metaphysical spiritualities. She is the author of four books, including Inhaling Spirit: Harmonialism, Orientalism, and the Western Roots of Modern Yoga, and, most recently, The Serpent’s Tale: Kuṇḍalinī, Yoga, and the History of an Experience. She is also a teacher and long-time practitioner of yoga. Learn more about Anya at https://www.anyafoxen.com/You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →Nonduality and the Ego with Jake Orthwein
Sep 2101:02:16Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft talks with Jake Orthwein about the self as a construction, the distinction between no-self and emptiness, the crucial difference between having a functional ego and being identified with it, psychedelics and meditation and ego dissolution, the Buddha-nature vs. the True Self, dereification vs. defabrication, Taft’s distinction of nondual one vs. nondual two, and the importance of a healthy ego.Jake Orthwein is a filmmaker based in Brooklyn, NY, and a dharma student of Michael Taft’s. His most recent film, “Unraveling the Dream,” was produced in collaboration with the Waking Up app and focuses on the history and neuroscience of psychedelics. Jake's websiteYou can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →Talking about Deity Yoga with Peter McEwen
Aug 2900:55:01Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft talks with meditation coach Peter McEwen about devotion in meditation practice, the need for stability in groundlessness, the ontological status of deities, common failure modes of practice, how to handle formless panic, the magical matrix, and the lasting power and beauty of deity yoga in the Vajrayana tradition.Peter McEwen is a meditation coach and the founder of The Field, which offers training, community, and the demystification of basic contemplative practices. Peter McEwen has been an ordained Vajrayana yogi since 1993 under the tutelage of Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche, Lama Pema Dorje Rinpoche, and Bruce Tift. He has completed the traditional 3-year retreat curriculum of Vajrayana Buddhism.Peter's website The FieldYou can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →Talking about Dark Retreat, Part 2 with Andrew Holecek
Aug 101:12:32Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft continues his conversation with with Andrew Holecek about the transformative practice of Dark Retreat; the reasons behind the recent surge of interest in darkness practices; its relationship to the feminine principle and as an antidote to runaway patriarchy; the three “tracks” or “schools” of dark retreat in Tibetan Vajrayana: Kalachakra, Nyingma, and Bön; the power of darkness for working with fear, fear of death, projections; fear as a sign that you're close to the truth, and hints for integration post darkness.Andrew Holecek is an interdisciplinary scholar-practitioner in Tibetan Buddhism and other nondual wisdom traditions. He is the Resident Contemplative Scholar at the Institute for Advanced Consciousness Studies, and a research consultant for the Cognitive Neuroscience Program at Northwestern University. His work involves studies on dream yoga and the practice of dark retreat. Dr. Holecek is a member of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, the author of nine books, and a concert pianist. He has completed the Tibetan Buddhist three-year retreat and is a frequent subject in scientific studies on meditation and lucid dreaming. His work integrates ancient wisdom traditions with contemporary perspectives, aiming to help individuals navigate spiritual challenges and end-of-life experiences. He is currently writing two books on dark retreat. Holecek holds degrees in classical music, biology, and a doctorate in dental surgery.Andrew Holecek’s websiteYou can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →A Conversation with David Godman
Jun 1901:39:17Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft talks with author David Godman about the sage Ramana Maharshi and his nondual view of the world, whether he considered taking sannyasa (renunciation) to be necessary to achieve awakening, the power of the physical presence of the guru, Sri Ramana's seemingly miraculous learning of Sanskrit, an introduction to Lakshmana Swami—a very advanced student of Ramana, with whom David Godman sat in the 1970s and 80s, Tamil poetry of awakening, and—in a surprising reveal—David Godman endorses a new jnani who lives in Tiruvannamalai.David Godman has been living in India since 1976, studying and practising the teachings of Ramana Maharshi. During that period he has met and written extensively about many direct disciples of Sri Ramana, including Lakshmana Swamy, Muruganar, Papaji and Annamalai Swami. David has also been involved in several projects that have translated Ramana Maharshi’s Tamil teachings and made them available in English for the first time. His anthology of dialogues with Sri Ramana, Be As You Are, is, outside India, the most widely-read book on Sri Ramana’s teachings.https://www.davidgodman.org/You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →Talking about Dark Retreat, with Andrew Holecek
May 11, 202501:24:04Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft speaks with Andrew Holecek about the transformative practice of Dark Retreat, how the mind “falls into itself,” light as obfuscator, the revelation of the construction of reality, the power—and very real dangers—of Dark Retreat, ways to begin the practice of Dark Retreat, nondual view, Andrew’s own journey into this practice, and the “collision with the infinite.”Andrew Holecek is an interdisciplinary scholar-practitioner in Tibetan Buddhism and other nondual wisdom traditions. He is the Resident Contemplative Scholar at the Institute for Advanced Consciousness Studies, and a research consultant for the Cognitive Neuroscience Program at Northwestern University. His work involves studies on dream yoga and the practice of dark retreat. Dr. Holecek is a member of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, the author of nine books, and a concert pianist. He has completed the Tibetan Buddhist three-year retreat and is a frequent subject in scientific studies on meditation and lucid dreaming. His work integrates ancient wisdom traditions with contemporary perspectives, aiming to help individuals navigate spiritual challenges and end-of-life experiences. He is currently writing two books on dark retreat. Holecek holds degrees in classical music, biology, and a doctorate in dental surgery.Andrew Holecek’s websiteYou can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →Sanity and Sainthood, with Dr. Tucker Peck
Apr 18, 202500:44:59Tap to summarizeHost Michael Taft speaks with meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and author Dr. Tucker Peck about the the difference between developing a clear understanding of how your psychology works and feeling just how you want to feel all the time; the importance of focusing on mental process verses mental content, his practical definitions of sanity and sainthood, his three-stage model of meditation, and what it’s like after years of daily meditation practice. Dr. Tucker Peck is a meditation teacher, clinical psychologist, and author. A former professor, he is the founding director of the scholarship fund Open Dharma Foundation, and co-host of the podcast Teaching Meditation. Tucker’s first book, Sanity and Sainthood, debuted as a #1 bestseller in 2025. He teaches a weekly class in-person at the San Francisco Dharma Collective, and has been teaching an online class for advanced meditators since 2012.You can find Tucker, and see the retreats he's teaching, at meditatewithtucker.com. You can also follow him on Twitter at tucker_peck. In the US, you can buy Sanity and Sainthood at this link, or outside the US, at any major online retailer (like Amazon).You can support the creation of future episodes of this podcast by contributing through Patreon.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →