Podcast Summary: Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin

Episode: Are You Living Safe Or Standing Firm? - S24E1
Date: October 20, 2025
Host: Pastor Joby Martin
Series: Stand Firm and Act Like Men

Episode Overview

This episode launches the “Stand Firm and Act Like Men” series, inspired by Pastor Joby Martin’s latest book of the same name, which recently made the New York Times bestseller list. The conversation, joined by the regular Deepen podcast team, centers on what biblical manhood looks like, the significance of strong, godly men in families and communities, and how the church’s current vision is challenging both men and women to flourish by aligning with God’s design. The discussion weaves in personal stories about raising children, the value of risk and failure, gender roles in the church and home, and how these themes impact relationships and spiritual growth.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Inspiration and Purpose of the Series

• The new series and book, “Stand Firm and Act Like Men,” aim to address hot-button cultural issues on manhood, sexuality, and godly leadership.
• Pastor Joby expresses gratitude (with a bit of surprise) for the New York Times listing the book, noting the value in increased dialogue across differing worldviews (00:45-02:18).
  • “Our worldviews do not align on many things, so honestly, good on them for allowing a very different voice. …We need more and more folks that don’t have the same worldviews to be able to talk and discuss and things like that.” — Joby Martin (01:39)

2. Personal Stories on Education, Discipline, and Raising Boys

• Pastor Joby reflects on his struggle in elementary school and how moving to a new district changed his trajectory, highlighting the differences in how boys and girls often experience the education system (03:00-05:01).
• The panel dissects the challenges parents face in balancing discipline, energy, and respect—emphasizing training boys for kindness, not just niceness (05:29–06:21).
• Respect for mothers and the power of example are stressed:
  • “You don’t always have to agree with her, but you will respect her, period. That’s a non-negotiable.” — Panelist D (08:15)
• Moving testimonies about parent-children relationships and generational faithfulness are shared, culminating in stories of children showing respect and affection for their parents and how this reflects biblical manhood (09:21–12:12).

3. Flourishing When Men Lead and Love Well

• The hosts celebrate seeing men in their church step up spiritually, emphasizing that when men lead and love well, everyone flourishes (13:09–14:53).
• This is directly tied to the year’s theme for the church, with personal stories of how it’s inspiring hope and unity across genders.

4. Critique of Cultural Narratives—DEI, Feminism, and Gender Roles

• Pastor Joby and co-hosts discuss the downsides of “corporate feminism” and DEI quota systems, contrasting these with the Bible’s teaching on gender and complementarity (15:02–19:11).
  • “The problem with the corporate feminism—first of all, it’s a lie. It’s trying to reject God's created order… It automatically puts you in competition against half of the human race. But we're supposed to complement one another.” — Joby Martin (18:15)
• The importance of both men and women reading/understanding resources aimed at each gender to better understand and serve one another is highlighted.

5. Creation, Calling, and Identity

• The panel explores the Genesis narrative, noting Adam’s creation in the wilderness versus Eve’s in the garden, drawing theological and practical insights about masculinity and femininity (29:13–31:33).
  • “God gave every man a woman to love, work to enjoy, and will to obey.” — Joby Martin, crediting John Bryson (29:29)
• Psalm 139 is discussed as a foundational scripture for both boys and girls, not only for body image but for instilling a sense of divine value and identity (22:13–25:46).
  • “You should never apologize for God's ideas. And it was God's idea that He would be imaged and His likeness would be displayed in males and females.” — Joby Martin (22:59)

6. The Role of Encouragement, Risk, and Failure

• Risk-taking and learning to fail are presented as essential parts of moving from boyhood to manhood (40:33–43:14).
  • “Boys choose situations where they can control the outcome. Men risk failure.” — Excerpt from Stand Firm and Act Like Men, quoted by the host (40:33)
• The necessity of encouragement—especially from wives/mothers—to help men flourish is explored through touching personal stories (49:16–52:37).
  • “The encouragement on the lips of a wife are gold in the heart of a man, period.” — Joby Martin (52:41)

7. Practical Encouragement for Families

• Tips for both parents and spouses about ways to affirm, encourage, and support each other are offered (54:30–58:03).
• Examples include sending affirming texts, breaking the ice with encouragement if it feels awkward, and recognizing the risk and responsibility in both men’s and women’s callings and support for one another.

8. Love and Respect: The Biblical Foundation

• Ephesians 5 is referenced as a simple but powerful dynamic in marriage: men crave respect; women crave value.
  • “No matter what your issue is, it comes down to this. It just comes down to love and respect.” — Joby Martin (59:34)
• Failures in this dynamic are linked to the most common marriage pitfalls—from minor annoyances to major betrayals (59:03–60:09).
• Mutual submission and honoring each other's roles are emphasized as the biblical vision (60:17).

9. Parenting, Obedience, and Letting Go of Control

• As their children reach adulthood, the guests reflect on the importance of not mapping out an entire future but helping kids make the next obedient step with the Lord (63:38–65:23).
  • “My job is just to help them make the next obedient step with the Lord.” — Charles Martin via Joby Martin (63:38)

10. Defining Manhood by God’s Unchanging Love and Fatherhood

• The episode closes with a reminder of two key truths to defeat the enemy's lies: God’s love is unwavering, and believers are His children (65:23–66:10).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

"The crew that had been ringing the tolerance bell in practicality wasn't very tolerant… We need more folks that don't have the same worldviews to be able to talk and discuss and things like that.”
— Joby Martin ([01:39])

"You should never apologize for God's ideas. And it was God's idea that He would be imaged and His likeness would be displayed in males and females.”
— Joby Martin ([22:59])

"There's time and space for that kind of activity and then there's time and space to sit down and be quiet. If you don't give that outlet, you're going to run into a problem."
— Joby Martin ([06:02])

"The encouragement on the lips of a wife are gold in the heart of a man, period."
— Joby Martin ([52:41])

"Boys choose situations where they can control the outcome. Men risk failure."
— Stand Firm and Act Like Men, quoted by the host ([40:33])

"My job is not to map out the future for my children. My job is just to help them make the next obedient step with the Lord."
— Charles Martin via Joby Martin ([63:38])

Timestamps for Important Segments

• New Series & Book Recognition: 00:18–02:18
• Boyhood, School & Education System: 03:00–05:01
• Parenting Boys & Respect for Mothers: 05:29–09:21
• Flourishing Families When Men Lead: 13:09–14:53
• Cultural Critique (DEI, Feminism): 15:02–19:11
• Identity, Psalm 139 for Boys & Girls: 22:13–25:46
• Creation, Garden, Masculinity/Femininity: 29:13–31:33
• Risk, Failure, and Manhood: 40:33–43:14
• Encouragement in Marriage & Parenting: 49:16–52:37
• Love and Respect (Ephesians 5): 59:03–60:09
• Parenting Young Adults—Obedience not Mapping Futures: 63:38–65:23
• Defeating the Enemy with God’s Love: 65:23–66:10

Overall Tone

The episode is honest, warm, and often humorous, blending theological depth with practical, real-world stories. The tone is encouraging and directive, particularly towards men, but with many affirmations and applications for women and families. The conversation is candid about struggles, failures, culture clashes, and the everyday realities of living out biblical manhood and womanhood.

Who Should Listen?

• Parents seeking wisdom on raising boys and girls according to biblical values
• Men and women wanting to better understand God’s design for masculinity/femininity
• Couples looking to strengthen their marriage through love, respect, and mutual encouragement
• Anyone interested in Christian perspectives on culture, gender, and spiritual formation

This episode is rich in spiritual encouragement and practical advice, using relatable stories and deep biblical insight to call listeners to courageous, risk-taking, and sacrificial living—rooted in the unchanging love and purposes of God.