Martin Family Christmas Special - 2024

Summary

Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin

Martin Family Christmas Special - 2024

Release Date: December 25, 2024
Host: Pastor Joby Martin
Guests: Gretchen Martin (wife), JP (son), Reagan (daughter)

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Overview

In this heartwarming Christmas Day special, Pastor Joby Martin brings the whole Martin family—wife Gretchen, son JP, and daughter Reagan—together on the "Deepen" podcast. Reflecting on the past year, the Martins share family traditions, discuss transitions such as JP leaving for college, talk candidly about parenting, faith, gift-giving, and what it means to keep Christ at the center of their home. This lively and humorous conversation is filled with memorable stories, practical insights, and authentic moments that invite listeners into the realities and joys of a family deeply rooted in faith.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Christmas Family Traditions

[01:00–08:44]

• The Martins lovingly poke fun at each other, discussing haircuts and trends, especially JP’s hair and the fad of mullets.
  • “They waited for JP to graduate. …Break the glass ceiling of men's hair.” – Pastor Joby, 00:47
• Traditions include Japanese food on Christmas Eve due to church service schedules; now it’s a lasting family custom since it’s typically one of the few open restaurants ([03:01]).
  • “That was always...the only thing open...now it’s a tradition.” – Joby, 03:01
• Christmas morning routines: Reagan wakes up the family early, cinnamon rolls are a staple, and the pace is slower and more savoring as kids age ([04:00–04:42]).
• The best gifts ever? Their miniature schnauzers, chosen after much research for a hypoallergenic, “non-poodle” breed ([05:23–08:14]).

2. Stories Behind the Gifts

[11:05–15:36]

• Gretchen is hailed as the best gift-giver (“She gives the most gifts, that’s for sure.” – JP, 10:04). She is practical; the family prefers to share wish lists and even PowerPoints for presents.
  • “Gretch is the finder, I’m the funder.” – Joby, 11:11
• The challenge of shopping for Joby—he’s difficult to buy for since he often buys what he wants immediately. The ultimate topping gift: Gretchen surprising Joby with a Harley motorcycle, reminding him of receiving a bike as a boy ([11:52–15:03]).
  • “When you’re opening presents, it’s like you put it on right there...I think when you’re opening presents, you just put it on right there.” – Joby, 13:36

3. Balancing Santa, Spirituality, and Family Fun

[15:36–20:27]

• The family integrates faith and festivity: reading Luke 2 before gifts, prayers, and enjoying both secular and spiritual Christmas traditions.
  • “We are not anti any of the Christmas stuff. We watch Elf about four times.” – Joby, 15:52
• Joby describes three approaches to culture: reject, receive, or redeem—Christmas trees, Santa, traditions are seen as redeemable and pointing to Christ ([16:28–17:14]).
• Their approach to Santa embraced “the magic” without lying, using questions in response to doubts. Elf on the Shelf stories brought both magic and mayhem ([18:20–20:27]).
  • “It was very manipulative. …If the elf sees…” – Joby, 20:17

4. Transitions: JP Moves to College

[22:25–29:00]

• The family gets candid about JP’s first semester away and the emotional toll.
  • “The hardest thing is being away from people here…One of the best things is how many people I know in Tallahassee already.” – JP, 22:54
• Gretchen and Reagan share quiet grief and how little things (like nighttime noise or less laundry) reveal the shift at home ([24:33–29:33]).
• Joby shares the difference in letting a son vs. daughter leave home—less worry for a safety-conscious, MMA-trained JP, more protective concern for Reagan ([26:01]).
  • “With Reagan, completely different set of concerns.” – Joby, 26:34
• The importance of responsibility and maturing on your own: “The real key to becoming a man is really about taking responsibility for things.” – Joby, 26:38

5. Faith at the Center of Family Life

[30:23–38:17]

• No rigid formula for raising children in faith: the Martins relied on seasons of prayer, connection to church, and ensuring other godly adult influences ([30:23–31:23]).
  • “Me and mom love Jesus and love each other, and that's the beginning of the foundation.” – Joby, 31:21
• Both kids recount the significant impact of student group leaders outside their parents ([32:37–33:19]):
  • “Some of my favorite people in the world are some of my group leaders that I had in high school.” – JP, 32:46
• Parenting advice: let kids have agency, tailor spiritual involvement to their unique wiring, and prioritize “fanning the flame” rather than enforcing rules ([34:33–36:19]).

6. Parenting Choices: Church, Discipline & Technology

[35:16–44:57]

• Did they force their children to go to church?
  • Sometimes yes—especially when younger, but never as a punishment. They wanted faith to be a priority, but also respected age and wiring ([35:22–36:58]).
  • "The last thing you want church to feel like is a punishment.” – Joby, 36:20
• Approach to technology, social media, and video games: Focus on outcomes rather than rigid controls—emphasizing responsibility, self-regulation, and planned emancipation.
  • “If you can handle life and play video games, go for it.” – Joby, 42:08
  • Family transparency about access—mom can check Reagan's social media anytime ([44:31]).

7. Raising Kind & Compassionate Kids

[45:28–50:53]

• The Martins credit kindness to the work of the Holy Spirit and organic discipleship through mission trips and modeling behavior.
  • “It's a fruit of the spirit...a work the Lord’s been doing in them.” – Joby, 46:52
• Reagan’s story at Night to Shine mission night displays her independence and compassion, serving outside of her friend group ([49:00]).

8. Looking Ahead: Hopes for 2025

[51:09–56:46]

• Reagan: Excited for a high school mission trip to the Dominican Republic, learning Spanish ([51:09]).
• JP: Dad-son-granddad fishing trip, more hunting, and girlfriend joining FSU next year ([52:23]).
• Family trips and memories—a strong value for the Martins. Approaching their 25th wedding anniversary in 2025, with major trips planned to California, Rome, and more ([53:41–56:46]).

9. Closing Reflections & Gratitude

[57:11–59:04]

• The Martins emphasize their ongoing journey—acknowledging imperfections, learning as they go, and deep gratitude for the role of The Church of Eleven22 in their lives.
  • “Please don't think we have got this whole thing figured out... But, man, we love each other.” – Joby, 57:11
  • “Everything we have has come through this church... We are forever grateful for this place and just want to be a part of it for all the days of my life.” – Joby, 58:28

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Faith in Family:

  "Me and mom love Jesus and love each other, and that's the beginning of the foundation."
  — Joby, 31:21

• On Christmas Traditions:

  "We usually do Japanese the night before or Christmas Eve...now it’s a tradition.”
  — JP & Joby, 02:50–03:16

• On Parenting Philosophy:

  "The real key to becoming a man is really about taking responsibility for things."
  — Joby, 26:38
  "Train up a child in the way he should go, not in the way you think he should go."
  — Joby, 34:53

• On Gift-Giving:

  "Gretch is the finder, I’m the funder."
  — Joby, 11:11
  “I even told her this year. So you did it. You won. Don’t ever try to outdo it.” (on the Harley)
  — Joby, 11:52

• On Handling Santa Claus:

  "We never lie. We just…at some point, you're mature enough to shift your understanding of what’s going on."
  — Joby, 17:49

• On Kindness:

  "It's a fruit of the spirit...a work the Lord’s been doing in them.”
  — Joby, 46:52

• On Parenting & Church:

  "You just can't force people to love Jesus. You can help set priorities."
  — Joby, 36:19

• On Gratitude:

  "Everything we have has come through this church... We are forever grateful for this place and just want to be a part of it for all the days of my life."
  — Joby, 58:28

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:00] — Christmas Eve/Dining Traditions
• [05:23] — Best Family Gifts (the dogs)
• [11:05] — Gift-Giving, Surprising Dad with a Harley
• [15:36] — Balancing Santa, Presents, and Jesus
• [22:25] — Reflections on JP Leaving for College
• [30:23] — Keeping Christ at the Center of the Family
• [35:16] — Parenting, Church Attendance
• [41:11] — Social Media & Technology Policy
• [45:28] — Raising Kind Kids
• [51:09] — Family Plans for 2025
• [53:41] — 25th Anniversary and Upcoming Travels
• [57:11] — Authenticity, Family Imperfection, and Gratitude for Church

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Tone & Takeaways

The episode captures the tone of a close-knit, faith-focused, and fun-loving family unafraid to share their vulnerabilities, laughter, and lessons learned. The Martins are relatable and refreshingly honest—reflecting humility, intentionality, and a deep reliance on Jesus. Listeners are left with practical wisdom for parenting, a renewed sense of joy about family traditions, and a greater understanding of how to build an authentic Christian home.

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Merry Christmas from the Martin family and the Church of Eleven22!

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin. The Church of 1122 is a movement for all people to discover and deepen a relationship with Jesus Christ. And we're praying this message helps you deepen your relationship with him. Now let's dive in.

[B]

Well, Martin family, welcome to the Deepin podcast. We were here one year ago together. So much has happened in one year. JP's hair is longer legally. Oh, right. That's right. We actually, I think we talked about how you wanted to grow your hair out, but you couldn't yet.

[C]

Yeah, at my high school, I couldn't grow my hair out.

[B]

And look at you now. It's long and flowing.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

They changed all the rules.

[C]

Oh, they did.

[B]

You can have it long because you left.

[A]

They waited for JP to graduate.

[D]

I feel like, you know, you can change it. Break the glass ceiling of men's hair.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Oh, you're a pioneer.

[C]

There was a few of us.

[B]

So are you just going to keep growing it?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

This is a haircut this week.

[B]

Oh, this week. Okay. Okay. Well, Merry Christmas. It's going to come out on Christmas Day, which is just a couple days away. What do you. What do you all have planned for Christmas this year?

[D]

I'm going to go with JB to get his haircut and try to get him a mullet. I saw your roommate in the gym this morning. Colby has a full mullet.

[A]

Does he?

[E]

Oh, I saw that.

[D]

I didn't even recognize who he was when he walked up to me. I mean, like a Theo Vaughn mullet.

[E]

Yeah, I know.

[D]

I saw it.

[E]

Is his girlfriend posted?

[D]

Oh, boy.

[A]

That must have just happened.

[B]

You're not into that, though.

[D]

Oh, it look fresh.

[C]

No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't get a mullet.

[B]

I feel like mullets are very in right now. It's not your vibe.

[A]

Hannah would not like that. I don't think.

[C]

No, Hannah would not at all. My girlfriend would not like that.

[D]

Yeah, I had a mullet on, like, round one of mullets.

[B]

When you knew Gretchen.

[D]

No way. Pre that.

[B]

Would you have gone for the mullet?

[A]

When we met, he had the 90210 look going on.

[B]

I don't even know what that means.

[C]

Nine out of two.

[B]

Okay. So what do you have planned for Christmas other than a haircut? You're not gonna get a haircut on Christmas Day, though.

[A]

No, no, I'm gonna be home.

[D]

We'll celebrate the incarnation of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

[B]

But, you know, we. We. It's rare. We don't have Christmas Eve Services. So it feels. I mean, of course we love gathering the saints together for Christmas service. Of course we're doing those this weekend. But it feels so free that we get to be with our families on Christmas Eve.

[D]

You're welcome.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you for that. So what do you guys do? Anything special?

[D]

We will do the neighborhood Christmas in our neighborhood with our neighbors and family and friends. We'll do that.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It's the only weird part is we. When I'm in the room and we watch me preaching to us, that part's kind of awkward. But the singing and all the things.

[B]

You know, you won't do a live message there.

[D]

You'll do the video. It'll be our friends and family.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. Is there a special dish anyone gets excited about? A food you get excited about around Christmas?

[C]

We do h. We usually do Japanese the night before or Christmas Eve.

[B]

That's right. Yeah. That's. That's unique for sure. On Christmas Eve you go out.

[A]

Do you go to Daruma?

[D]

That was always. Because most of the, you know, when we have Christmas Eve services and especially like when Gretchen was singing, she was singing it. Seven of them and I'm preaching and you know, we can't really have dinner ready. And it was the only thing open.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And then it kind of became a tradition. So now we'll. We'll probably still go do that.

[B]

Oh, that's funny. I love it.

[D]

It's great.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Thanks for the reminder. Totally forgot about that.

[B]

Do you have to like, make reservations? Is that a popular thing to do on Christmas Eve?

[D]

You'd be amazed. It's. It's quite.

[A]

That place is packed on Christmas Eve.

[B]

Cuz it's one of the only ones open.

[A]

Yeah. I think it's a lot of people. A lot of people do that on Christmas Eve for some reason. I don't know if it was from the Christmas story when they burned the turkey and they went to the Chinese. Chinese restaurant and I don't know.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Yeah, maybe.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like Christmas food on Christmas or Christmas food. Chinese food on Christmas Eve is like kind of stereotypical in a way.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know.

[D]

So I like it.

[B]

I like it. All right. And then what's Christmas Day look like for you guys?

[E]

I usually wake up first.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you wake everybody up?

[C]

Yeah, she likes to wake us up early.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Really early.

[B]

Like how early are we talking?

[C]

Like 6:30 probably.

[E]

But honestly, because I have to wake up that early for school, that's just like how I naturally Wake up, like, every day, not just on Christmas.

[B]

Right, right, right. So do you still do. Cause you guys, you know, you're a little older now. Is it still the, like, rapid run to open gifts, or how does it. Or is it just, like, a nice piece where you get to go one by one and everyone just relishes in the gift opening?

[A]

We do breakfast first.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Cinnamon rolls. I usually have cinnamon rolls going. That's a tradition.

[B]

Love a cinnamon roll.

[D]

And then the three of us, me and the kids, anxiously await to see what's in all the presents.

[B]

Yes, the SNL sketch of Kristen Wiig.

[A]

And I got a robe.

[B]

Oh, look, it was on sale. Yeah, that video. It hits to the truest parts of the Christmas experience. I just reminded Wes that stockings are a thing. Rapidly ordering things on Amazon that I was just sending him.

[D]

If he needs help, have him let me know. I'm a pro at this point.

[B]

I was like, here are the pens I like. Here's the chapstick I like. Okay, what's the best Christmas gift you guys have ever gotten?

[E]

The dogs.

[C]

I would agree.

[B]

You got the dogs for Christmas.

[C]

We both got a dog for Christmas.

[B]

Okay, so you each have. So does it still work like that where you have your own dogs, or do the dogs favor someone else in the family?

[E]

Mine favors my dad.

[C]

They both favor our mom, though, because she takes care of them, so.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

You guys don't take care of him?

[E]

No, he's at college.

[B]

Well, you don't live here anymore, so you're. You're released from responsibility.

[C]

Yeah, I tried as much as I can.

[B]

What are you doing? Okay, tell us about getting the dogs for Christmas.

[D]

Reagan.

[E]

Well, I didn't know it was happening.

[C]

Yeah, she didn't. So you did?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, I knew. I knew they were getting her a dog, but I didn't know they were getting two dogs. And so when there's two dogs, that was. It was a surprise to me as well.

[B]

So why did you know you were getting a dog?

[C]

Because I was hiding her for them to bring the dog home.

[D]

Yeah, he was on the Santa Claus side of the equation at that point. Yes, on the ages. And so he was doing some recon work for us, and he wanted one, but we just didn't tell him. So he was in the, like, hey, listen, we're going to get. He thought only one. And so you need to. When our car pulls up, you got to make Reagan go upstairs, you know, all that kind of stuff. And then he didn't realize that we had one for him.

[B]

Oh, that's fun. What kind of dogs are they?

[C]

Miniature schnauzers.

[B]

And how did we land on that dog?

[A]

We did a lot of research on hypoallergenic dogs, and a lot of those type of dogs are mixed with poodles. And Joby did not want a poodle in the house. He didn't want anything. He didn't want anything with doodle or poodle or oodle in the name. And so we were looking for. And he wanted, like, a purebred dog. And so I just kept researching purebred dogs that are hypoallergenic.

[D]

I can't say what I actually said on the podcast, and I will not have a wimpy dog like that as well. Yeah.

[A]

And so anyway, he. So I found schnauzers, and he fell in love with the look because of the beard.

[E]

Beard.

[A]

The beard. So we have. Yeah.

[B]

Do the girls have beards, too?

[A]

Oh, yeah, ours does.

[E]

Well, I don't allow it.

[A]

Well, she did.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

The first four years of her life.

[E]

Because I didn't have a choice then. But now I spoke up and I was like, she looks like a guy. We can't keep doing this to her. I feel bad. And everyone else agrees except for them. Like, all my friends agree that she's so much cuter without a beard.

[B]

So y' all miss the beard?

[D]

She looks like a little old lady.

[B]

The girl beard, she just looks like.

[A]

A kind of a mutt dog. Now. She doesn't look like a schnauzer anymore, but that's ok.

[D]

So bearded up again.

[A]

She's still cute, but she does look like an old lady.

[B]

Did you consider. Because you always tell your story of the boxers. Did you guys consider boxers?

[D]

No. No chance.

[A]

They're a lot, and they're not hypoallergenic.

[D]

And they shed.

[A]

And they shed these tiny little hairs that get stuck on the bottom of my feet.

[D]

They're a lot. These dogs are great. I mean, they're worthless, but they're. They. They're super smart. They're real obedient. It's like they know English. Like, you just tell them, get on the couch, and they get up there and, you know, come here, and they just do. They're great. And they can hold it forever. Yeah, we have very. I mean, I don't know. They're great. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, they're great dogs.

[D]

They're cool. They're pretty worthless, but they worship and adore Gretchen.

[A]

Georgia killed a rat outside, though. She.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[A]

That's not worthless.

[D]

Yeah. That's true. She grabbed things.

[A]

That's what they were bred to do. They were ratters.

[B]

Oh, gosh. Ratters. Yeah. I don't want to see a rat ever. So having dogs growing up, do you think you guys will have dogs once you're on your own?

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Yeah. Schnauzers or something else. Wait, is that what it is?

[C]

They have a giant schnauzers, which I've always liked as well. Yeah.

[B]

Are they. Are they huge?

[C]

Yeah, they're huge, but they're the same exact dog.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Like, full size beard, just like mine.

[A]

If we didn't already have two dogs, I would get one. They are amazing.

[B]

Really? Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What about you?

[E]

I want a little wiener dog.

[B]

Not the wiener. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

They're so cute.

[E]

They have the little legs.

[B]

They are honestly so cute. And corgis, too, with the short legs. What would you name it? A wiener dog?

[E]

I have no idea.

[A]

But you want the long hair one, right?

[E]

Yeah, the long hair one. Not the.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I would name it Stetson Bennett. I think that's what you should name it. People theme. The goat.

[B]

Okay. So who in the family is the best gift giver?

[E]

My mom.

[B]

Okay. Who do you think? Jb.

[D]

Probably.

[C]

Yeah, Mom. I would say she gives the most gifts, that's for sure.

[B]

Oh, okay. Quantity. Okay.

[A]

Quantity.

[B]

Okay. So are you yourself the best gift giver to yourself?

[A]

Probably.

[B]

No. I heard you having some ideas.

[A]

No. Joby, he does a great job.

[D]

I'm all out.

[A]

He does a great job of shopping for me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I just do most of the gift giving in the house and he goes crazy on me. Yeah. Which is great.

[B]

Is it always a surprise or do you give any kind of direction?

[A]

I give all the direction. And he goes for it. Yeah.

[B]

That's great. I send an email with links. Like, I don't need to be super surprised. I just want to get what I actually want.

[A]

You know, Reagan makes a PowerPoint and sends me with links.

[B]

That's actually a really good idea. Yeah, it's all about the presentation.

[A]

Super cute.

[B]

That's a leader right there. If you can cast the vision, who can't get on board.

[D]

Yeah. G's the finder and I'm the funder. That's our idea. And so, like I said, I am just as surprised as the kids are on Christmas Day. As what everybody's getting great.

[A]

It's.

[D]

Except for her. I get. I do the team approach. I get lots of help and we brainstorm and have ideas.

[A]

He's the hardest to shop. For.

[B]

Yeah, I could see that.

[A]

I ask and ask for ideas, and I get very little. And he has everything. So I'm like, I'm gonna get you another gun. I can't even get you a gun. I'm not even allowed to get you a gun.

[B]

Yeah, but the motorcycle, that is a good gift.

[D]

Best ever.

[A]

Shot myself in the foot there. I'll never be able to top that.

[D]

I even told her this year. So you did it. You won. Don't ever try to outdo it. I mean, the crazy thing is, my first motorcycle I got on Christmas Day at Mert's house. And not to get all, like, preachery, but I shared a little bit last weekend about some of my best family memories for Christmas. And some of my most difficult ones are Christmas. So that motorcycle was a big deal at a big time. And so now, gosh, that was in sixth grade, so I can't do the math there, but whatever. Almost 40 years later, to get a motorcycle on Christmas Day, I felt like I was 12 years old again, you know?

[B]

And can you describe, like, what your look was when you were surprised by it?

[D]

Awesome. I looked awesome. Well, everybody sends me the list of what they want. And one day I text back, I was like, how come never nobody asked me what I want? And they're like, what do you want? And I sent a picture of me sitting on this Harley that I'd taken like a year before. And Gretchen's like, well, go get the Harley. I was like, I'm not gonna buy my own Christmas present. She's like, well, you should do it, you know? So we go have this little text fight. So at that moment, I thought, all right, she's into it. So what she'll probably do is, like, have a card with a Harley thing and be like, you have an appointment. Da da. Or something, you know, and then we do all the presents and no Harley. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to buy me a Harley tomorrow. That's what I thought. And then we're hanging out. So I've got on a robe I'm a big fan of when you're sitting in.

[E]

Oh, cuz he's just on his motorcycle.

[B]

Going around the neighborhood in the robe.

[D]

Oh, yeah, don't worry about me.

[B]

Christmas themed or pajama pants.

[A]

No, wait, you.

[D]

Camo slippers.

[B]

What? Slippers. Sorry.

[D]

I have camo slippers and a camo robe. No, it's blue.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Red pajama pants. A hat. Some kind of hat. If. If I get a present, like, if we're opening presents. And it's a sweater. I put it on. Like, I do. Other than, like, you know, unmentionables. I think when you're opening presents, it's like you put it on right there. If you got gloves, you put gloves on. So anyway, I'm decked out. I got. I got all kind of like an.

[A]

Elmer Fudd hat, and it was in our neighbor's garage.

[D]

Yeah. So then the neighbors call. So there's no Harley after we open Prezza something. Yeah, that's fine. I'm gonna go get one tomorrow.

[B]

And AKA why you're hard to shop for. Probably because you just. If you need something or want something, you just.

[D]

Okay, yeah. If it's December 22nd and I'm like, oh, I need, then I'm just gonna go get it. So anyway, so then our neighbors, Jeff and Alicia Cop. Gretchen gets a call. It's Alicia, hey, you want to come over for coffee? And she says it. Gretchen says it. And I'm like, yeah, okay, that's cool. And then JP Is like, we'll go. And that's when I was like, wait a minute. So we go walking over there, and the garage door opens, and my 23 Street Glide with balloons on it sitting right there.

[B]

And you couldn't even. There was no time to go change into a different outfit. You just rode it in the slippers and the robe.

[D]

Delayed obedience is disobedience with Reagan on the back. Did you? Yeah, I took it around the hood.

[B]

That's so fun. That is hard to top. It's one of those things you. Yeah, you can't try to outdo it. You just. You just got to go with a new idea this year.

[D]

But I do love. I love presence and the whole thing, man. I really do, you know, because you really are in the. The purest sense of it, you know, the worst part is if you get it all wrapped up in what you're getting, but the purest sense of. You're trying to reveal how much you love and care for this person and know them by getting them this thing. Because. And you're trying to give somebody something that they want or demonstrates value. So I love it. I love get presence. I love give presents. I love it.

[B]

So that's a good segue into how do you do the whole Santa presence and incarnation? Jesus. Like, how do you do the whole thing during the Christmas season?

[D]

Well, we do all the things. So, like, we all attended service together last night. Before we open the presents, one of us will usually read through Luke 2 say a prayer. But we are not anti any of the Christmas stuff. We watch elf about four times. I love to watch Four Christmases. That's one of my faves.

[B]

Oh, really?

[D]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

It's kind of surprising.

[D]

I love it when Robert Duvall's like, what it did is a sporter. Gave her a roof over here. Provide meals. You know what I mean? Anyway, I just love that movie.

[B]

Is great.

[D]

I love it. I love it. Anyway, so when it comes to culture, I think there's three ways that you deal with culture. And this could be helpful for everything, like the music you listen to in your house or the movies you watch or how you celebrate holidays. Some things our culture presents us, you just reject. There's nothing holy in it, and it is to be rejected. Easy things would be like pornography, slave trade. You just reject these things because they're evil. Some things are just to be received. They're just good things, like the idea of music or friendship or fellowship, you know, these are just things that exist in our culture, and you just receive them. There's a big category in the middle where there are some things that you redeem. So historically, what Christians did, the reason that we had things like Christmas trees and stuff, and some Christians will be like, why do we have Christmas trees? Because that used to be a pagan symbol of whatever. And you're like, hold on. But what the church did is they took a thing that everybody knew about and they redeemed it to point it at the incarnation of Christ. And so I think the whole, like, Christmas spirit season is a redeemable thing that I'm into. Yeah, so we do that, man. We watch a lot of movies. We. I don't know. At this point, it's a little bit different because the kids are older. So when they were little, man, full on Santa Claus, we never lied to them. And there's also categories there, too. Every time you don't tell the truth, that doesn't. Isn't necessarily a lie. There are surprises. There are times when you do not tell the truth for a greater good. Like see Rahab lying to hide the spies. You know what I mean? All right. But things like surprises and make believe are not lies. Those are. These are just good things. Okay. So anyway, when JP first started asking about Santa, I would just ask the question back.

[B]

Hmm.

[D]

He would say, is he real? I was like, what do you think? Is he real? And I think he knew what the answer was, but he thought if he admitted it, then no presence would happen or something like that. So he Held onto it for a long time, but we never lie. We just. At some point, you're mature enough to shift your. Your understanding of what's going on.

[B]

Yeah. And I've never met the person who, as an adult, is still damaged by finding out that Santa wasn't real.

[D]

I also think that it's like a food sacrifice to idols. Kind of like Paul talks about in Romans and Corinthians. Or in Corinthians, and it's a matter of conscience. So if you don't want to do it at your house, go ahead. Just don't tell me what to do with mine.

[B]

Sure. Great.

[D]

But I like it. I like the, like, the whole thing. We do the stockings, we do the family picture.

[B]

Do y' all remember when you realized Santa wasn't real? What was it like? Tell us, Reagan.

[E]

I think it was, like, very. For me, it was just like. I remember. So I remember I asked my mom. I was like, is Santa real? And then she was like, I don't know. Is he? And I was like, nope. You would have said yes if he was real.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

And there it was.

[A]

I do remember when JP When Reagan. The first year that Reagan didn't believe in Santa. JP Was a little sad. He's like, it's the end of Santa in our house. You know? Like, it was. He's like. Because he still kind of lived through her, you know? Like, he enjoyed the fact that, all right, someone here still believes in the magic, you know? So it was kind of fun.

[B]

He tried to convince me.

[E]

He tried to convince me to, like, pretend I still believe so that we could still do, like, the elf on the shelf and, like.

[D]

Oh, the F on the shelf. We almost, you know, split our family over the F on the shelf and whose turn it was to move that thing. And I mean, it would be.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

And you were early elf on the shelfers.

[D]

We were right.

[B]

When it came out.

[D]

Oh, it was incredible. It was very manipulative.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Oh, it was great. You could be like, if the elf sees, so you better go to bed. They would be, like, very compliant. Right.

[A]

And now the elf is a Christmas ornament. Elf hangs from the Christmas tree.

[E]

Elf sits on the Christmas tree.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Well, that. Yeah.

[B]

J.P. do you remember when you stopped or, like, when you realized Santa wasn't real?

[C]

Yeah. The first time that I was ever taken to see a fake Santa, I realized it was not real.

[D]

Oh, that's early, bro.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It was not. I did not.

[B]

Where was it?

[A]

All the towns.

[C]

Yeah. At the town center.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

He's like this camp.

[D]

He smells like beef and cheese. That's not the real Santa.

[B]

And I'm sorry. Santa was reduced to like a. At the town center in Florida. Like there's no way. Well, our three year old currently believes that the blow up Santa we have on the wall outside is Santa. She keeps saying, no, Santa's already here. He's on the wall. I'm like, oh, that would be a really, really sad low shelf Santa. He's plastic.

[A]

Do you do elf?

[B]

We haven't started elf. I mean this is the first year she really understands Christmas and which is really fun. She is so captured by the magic. I mean Christmas lights, everything. Santa feeding reindeer. It so fun. I think we'll start the elf next year because I think that that sounds really fun.

[D]

Regan would get into the little Advent calendar, you know, the little countdown and mom would put little treats in it and stuff, you know.

[B]

And now there are some of those that are really good, that are like Advent and they, they really are true Advent. Following the Christmas story and help you kind of with like a daily piece of.

[D]

I think some years we did that better than others. You know, some years like even the church would have like an Advent calendar and we would go through that. And then other years not so much.

[B]

Yeah. And doesn't this year it feels really weird this year it feels like December was two weeks long. It snuck up how Thanksgiving fell.

[A]

Yeah. Because Thanksgiving was late. Yes.

[B]

So I feel like everyone's kind of just rushing about and no one's quite doing all of the things that you normally do, you know.

[D]

That's true.

[B]

Okay, so moving away from Christmas a little bit, we actually, you know, we sourced some questions from the chur and we put it out on social media in anticipation of this conversation. And so we got some different categories. We'll start. JP this, this was a big year of change for the family. JP went to college, moved out of the house. So how has it been? How was college?

[C]

It's been good. It's been fun. Yeah.

[B]

What do you think has been the hardest thing? What's been the best thing?

[C]

The hardest thing is being away from people here. Just like my girlfriend is still here, my family's still here, my dogs. But one of the best things is how many people I know in Tallahassee already. So I haven't even had to meet that many new people. I've just basically reconnected with a ton of people I already know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it's been good. Yeah.

[B]

How is college different than what you expected it to Be.

[C]

I think I had a pretty good idea of what to expect, but.

[D]

One.

[C]

Thing I wouldn't expect is just how crazy some of those towns can be. Some of those big college towns, Tallahassee.

[B]

Being one of them. Is school harder? Like the work?

[C]

No.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I wouldn't say so.

[B]

All right, let's go.

[C]

I mean, the classes get harder as you get older, but. No, not in that way. I don't think it's harder.

[B]

Do you have to decide a major already, or how does that work?

[C]

No, I don't.

[B]

Do you know what you want to do?

[C]

Yeah, I'm doing finance.

[B]

Nice. Okay. Solid. All right. How's it been without JP Being at home?

[E]

It's really not that different because he's back a lot because his girlfriend's still here, and we are, but his girlfriend.

[D]

We had two hurricanes, too, that brought him home.

[E]

Oh, yeah?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So. Oh, yeah. Because I guess it's only been a few months. First semester, right? Yeah. What month are we in? December, Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. So how's it been for you guys?

[A]

I think it's been good. I mean, like. Like they said, he comes home a lot because of his girlfriend and us, of course. But, you know, when he's gone, it's a little quieter because he's the only one upstairs. And when he comes downstairs, he sounds like a herd of elephants every time. And I kind of missed, like, the first couple weeks I missed that sound. I didn't think I would ever miss that, but I did little things like that.

[C]

But the other night, she got really mad at me.

[A]

Well, it was like, midnight, and I.

[C]

Was like, I thought you loved that.

[B]

Yeah, I thought you missed that.

[D]

She also missed yelling at you, apparently. Yeah, well, it goes together.

[A]

I didn't miss it at midnight.

[D]

Honestly, man, for parents, it's not that much different when your kid's 16 and gets a license and plays sports and drives. And that's really the demarcation of when everything changes. At least that was kind of our experience.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

I mean, I still see you and talk to you and especially the way I work. And I've got some late nights and I'm out some early mornings, even, whether he's there or not. I mean, even when you were in high school, there might be some days that we just never even saw each other, you know?

[C]

So I think. I think. I mean, obviously not for all people. All people are different, but I think in general, it's easier for when sons leave the house than when daughters leave the house.

[D]

No doubt. Yeah. One of the biggest things, like when we were leaving, you know, you don't know what kind of feelings to expect. And we dropped him off, and I was just driving away, like, okay, here we go. A huge part of it is because I just. I'm not concerned for his safety. Like, he fights mma. Nobody's gonna beat him up. He could beat up almost everybody I know. Like, all the. All my grown friends except for one. He could choke them all out. Okay, so I don't have that kind of, like, oh, no, what if he runs into somebody in the alley? I don't. But with Reagan, completely different set of concerns. So I think that has a lot to do with it.

[A]

That's true.

[D]

You know, and I'm really. It's been exciting to. To watch him have to mature in certain ways, you know, because the real key to becoming a man is really about taking responsibility for things. One of my. One of my favorite things. I'll probably hold on to this forever. People aren't gonna love it. But he called me and was like, dad, these raccoons are getting in our trash. And I'm like, okay, well, you know how to deal with that. And then he sends me a text later, and he's like, raccoons down. And he took care of it the way. Exactly the way you would imagine Joseph Perry Martin IV taking care of it. And he sat sniper up in his room and took care of business. But honestly, that's what you do when you're growing up to be a man. You don't. There's no number to call for somebody else to fix your problem. That you just figure it out. So anyway, you get to learn those kind of things. You just kind of get to figure it out.

[B]

Well, you two talk about your experience of dropping him off at college, because you had kind of different emotional experiences that I think will help a lot of parents who are maybe approaching or have just gone through that. That same thing.

[D]

Yeah. You were different than me.

[A]

Yeah. Leading up to it, I was totally fine. Like, I wasn't freaking out or anything. And then even leaving Tallahassee, I mean, I was sad, but I wasn't. Like, I kind of thought, well, he'll probably be home this weekend. Sure, so I'll see him in five days. But I wasn't super sad, but, like, just little. Little pieces of him that weren't there anymore. Like, the loud going up and down the steps, little things like that way less laundry to do, that kind of thing. Like, I don't, you know, have to buy as much food just Little things that kind of would make me sad as the weeks went on. But. Yeah.

[D]

I think, though, when he does come home, he. We're more intentional about getting some time together. You know, like, we will go to the gym together, and it's really great to be able to do grown stuff with your kid. Like, we. We worked out the other day in the gym, and it's not like working out with a child. You know, I don't have to tell him what to do. I don't have to. You know, we just train hard and he. And he pushes me and that's. That's cool. Or, you know, we're heading to the retreat center to hunt, and I just. He's got his gun and I drive him off, and it's not like you're with a child anymore, you know?

[B]

Yeah. For sure.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Reagan was sad.

[B]

Yeah. What was it like for you?

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I remember. This kind of explains it all. I remember I was in JP's room right after he set it up, and my dad walks in, and I'm like, bawling my eyes out on JP's bed, and my dad's just like, here, smile for a picture. And then like a week later, I see it posted on Instagram, and I'm just like.

[A]

I didn't even know you did that.

[E]

Yes. It was so bad.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[E]

But I. I cried on the way there to drop him off. I cried while we were there, and I cried on the way back because.

[B]

What was going through your mind?

[E]

I don't know. I was just. I knew that he would be home a lot, but I think it's just with your sibling, like, you're never gonna live in the same house as them again.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

It's just. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So how's it been since then?

[E]

It's been fun.

[C]

We're living together right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

I don't think I realized how much he would actually be home.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that helps. For sure. For sure. Okay. So parenting a bit. What do you guys do? Or what have you done to keep Christ at the center of your family?

[D]

You know, I. There's not like a. There's not like a one size fits all program, and there's not even a. Even in your own family. You got to think about it in seasons. You know, we. We've definitely been connected to this church. We've definitely tried to make sure that our kids had adults connected in their lives that were not us, that love Jesus and that they could. Talked to and that they respected and admired. Sometimes we Would have good seasons of prayer and family dinners. We would ask good questions. Other times, just like everybody else, we'd get real busy and that stuff would fall away. I mean, I'd love to hear from you guys, but I think it's evident that me and mom love Jesus and love each other, and that's the beginning of the foundation. More than any kind of family devotional or any kind of specific rhythm, they know that they have a mom and dad that love Jesus and love each other.

[B]

That's good. What do you guys think?

[D]

Talk close, baby.

[E]

Wait, I kind of.

[B]

You want the question again?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. How do you feel like. How do you feel like as a family, Jesus has been the focus?

[E]

I think definitely when we were little, my parents would take us to church all the time.

[B]

Sorry.

[E]

When we were little, my parents would take us to church all the time. That had a very big part. And definitely, like midweek, like Tuesday middle school and high school students. I think, like, our group leader, like, had such a big impact in our lives, like, it being a person that's not our parents that loves us and loves Jesus.

[B]

And you're on the student leadership team at church too, right? Do you feel like that's been a factor in your relationship with the Lord?

[E]

Yeah, definitely.

[B]

Yeah. Because, like, how does that. How does that point you towards Jesus in a bigger way?

[E]

I think leading other people to Jesus always points to him.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. What would you say, jb?

[C]

I would say kind of reflecting off of my dad said some of the grownups that have, like, been placed in our lives mostly through the church, but some through, like, friends and connections. But there's some of my favorite people in the world are some of my group leaders that I had in high school. And I still enjoy talking to them. And they're just genuinely some of my favorite people. And so, yeah, that's pretty awesome to have.

[B]

I feel like people who serve in students have no idea the impact. I mean, I still talk to the girl that was my high school leader and middle school leader, and she's still a mentor of mine. And I think for anybody listening that serves in students, like, I mean, you guys are evidence right here. It makes such a difference. And I think parents are grateful to have other for sure younger, cooler adults pouring into their kids.

[D]

It's so. I mean, honestly, we're just regular parents, man. We love Jesus and we love our kids more than anything on this planet. And we would do anything in the world to make sure we're getting this right and pointing them to the Lord. And we'd have no idea what we're doing. We've never done this before. This is the only boy I've ever raised, the only girl I've ever raised. And we're not even done. And we have no idea, you know, and everybody thinks they know and they're two very, very, very different human beings. So like, Reagan loves going to students and never wants to miss and she loves the large group and all of that. And JP is not wired that way. He would much rather be. He'd much rather we would let him decide because, you know, when he was in high school, he basically had what, like three options of church activity. Go to big church. We kind of would require a little bit of that. Go to students and then small group with his leader. His leader ran like a separate Monday morning, 6:00am it was early. It was the hardest thing to go to. And he would, he would choose that over the two large group events every single time. And you know, the Bible says train up a child in the way he should go, not in the way you think he should go. And so a huge part of parenting is to trust God and what they're doing, what God's doing in your kid's life, and then just try to like fan the flame of that versus controlling the schedule. But it's really hard because you don't know, man. You're just trying to do your best.

[B]

Yeah. Well, another question that came in quite a bit was, did you make your kids go to church?

[D]

I think sometimes. Sometimes and even now. Sometimes I do, but not all the time.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I think a really good thing to do is for kids to know your family, to know that like in my house, the Lord is non negotiable. But there are options. We have lots of services here. And especially like if your kids are in, in school, you know, you need to be in disciple making relationships. And that's what we're going to do as a family. Because negotiating is a really, really good skill that you want your kid to learn. And you just can't force people to love Jesus. You can help set priorities. And so there are times, like with Reagan right now, we will help her by saying no to some things on her behalf on Saturday night just so she feels like she wants to do what is a priority in her life, which is to get up and to go to multiple services on Sunday morning. You know what I mean?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

But the last thing you want church to feel like is a punishment. The other thing is you don't want church just to be like the last of many options either. So trying to thread that needle is not. Is not an easy thing. What you're trying to do is fan the flame. So JP's leader, Josh, is just a dude, man. So Josh would be like, hey, I want to take the boys on a camping trip to North Carolina. We're going to camp out for five days. I would do everything I could to make. Make sure that happened. And then I would be a little more selective about when I made JP attend certain things.

[B]

That's really good.

[D]

And all I'm trying to do, I want him to love Jesus as a grown man more than I want him to attend the things that I'm in charge of. You know what I mean? So I'm not saying I got it right ever, even, but that was kind of the. What I was trying to do, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Gretchen, anything you would add to that?

[A]

No, I agree with all that, I think. And we're at such a different place right now, too, with jp and like Reagan, she tells us when she's going to church. I feel like it's all the time.

[B]

I know I say it's all the time.

[A]

Yeah. But, you know, JP's an adult and he can make his own decisions. And I know he loves the Lord and exactly what Joby said, like, the large group thing isn't his vibe. He'd rather be in a small group. And even if it's at 6am when he likes to sleep till 1pm, he'll still get up for that versus doing the large group thing. So I really. And in my, like, as far as fanning the flame, I feel like at this point in my role as their mother is just to be the biggest prayer warrior for them too. I'm on my knees all the time praying for them and just praying for everything about their life, about their walk with Christ.

[B]

That's really good.

[D]

Yeah. If you see me at the altar at church, 99% of the time, I'm just praying for them. People ask me this all the time. They're being sweet. They're like, how can I pray for you? I give the same answer every time. Pray for my family. Pray for my family. It costs them a lot to be my kids. There's some benefits, you know, but it costs them a lot. And we've tried to work really hard, too, that their life. I mean, we're doing a podcast with my family right now, so that's not a normal thing. Like, most families don't do this, but I've tried to not make them feel like they live in the fishbowl or they have to live up to anybody else's expectations, or, you know, I just want them to be who God created them to be.

[B]

So at these ages or this phase of life, what are the kinds of things that you're praying?

[A]

I pray very differently for both of them, being a boy and a girl, you know, I pray that JP just continues to know the Lord and just grows to be a godly man eventually be a supportive husband and a loving husband and all that. I pray for Reagan to know who she is and who she is and know her worth and her value and that we love her and that God loves her and that she's daughter of the king. And I pray for her future because, you know, right now she wants to go into ministry, and I think that's awesome, and it's scary, too.

[B]

But I.

[A]

Think she's going to be amazing at it.

[B]

So I pray for that. What about you?

[D]

I just always pray that the Lord would just set their hearts on fire for him. I always pray that. And then it's very like First Corinthians 16 for him, that he would stand firm, be strong, act like a man, fight, let everything he does be done in love. And for her, I pray Psalm139, you know, that she would know who she is. Fearfully, wonderfully made her works. His works are wonderful. And she would know that she's one of those works.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

So what do Yalls relationship with the Lord look like right now?

[E]

I think right now, I think growing up, my parents did, like, so much to bring me closer to the Lord. They don't even realize, like, just making me go to church on Sunday when I was tired. You know what I mean? But I mean, when I was growing up, it was never, like. It was always fun, you know? But I think because of that, it's very strong.

[B]

It's good.

[C]

Yeah. I think the way we were raised simultaneously in the church, but not, like, smothered with the church, was very helpful to not burn out, I guess.

[B]

Yeah, that's really good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. A very popular question we got was about how you all approached phones and social media and video games. I don't know if we can lump all those together, but. Oh, boy. How did you go about that?

[D]

I'll go back to my previous comment. So the problem is what? So, like, if. If you're watering your lawn, right, the goal is that you have a healthy lawn and everybody gets obsessed with the watering schedule. And if you apply the wrong Watering schedule to a different lawn. It might not work for long. So don't get hung up in the process. Get hung up, like have some. What, what are you. What is the preferable outcome? Let's take video games. Pretty much if JP had the, like, there was a few non negotiables at my house, right. It's like gotta have an A's and B's. You know, it's basically like you can't be in trouble. You've got to attend some church event once a week. There's some those kind of things. And if you can handle life and play video games, go for it, you know. And again, what I'm trying to do, you've got to work towards planned emancipation today. Well, not today because at my house, but when he's in Tallahassee, he could play video games, all that he wants to play video games. So if you mandate what they can and can't do, it's. You're not going to teach them the skill of learning how to budget time in order to leave enough time to play or not play. So that's what you're actually trying to do. Same thing with the phone, same thing with social media. So obviously the younger they were, the less, you know. We had very, very high control. Reagan got in trouble a few times because she would just get outside of the rules. Mom has access to everything that Reagan has right now. At this point I don't even know what we have access with JP but again, man, he's 19 and it's different.

[A]

You still don't have social media, do you?

[D]

He does.

[A]

Wait, do you?

[D]

Yes.

[A]

You have like.

[E]

He's just not very active.

[A]

You don't get on Instagram. Like I know you.

[B]

He's shocked right now.

[A]

But you don't like post.

[C]

No, I don't.

[A]

You don't post. That's. I guess that's what I. He has social media. Yes, I do know he has social media because he shows me things a lot. But she always sends me pictures like I'm that mom.

[E]

Yes. Yeah, I'll be in like sitting in class and then I just get an Instagram reel from my mom.

[D]

Is it usually somebody falling down?

[E]

No, it's usually like something that she thinks is like really relatable or funny.

[A]

I think it's. I'm usually sitting there laughing like you.

[E]

Can tell when she's scrolling on Instagram reels. Cuz she's just sitting in her little recliner chair just like laughing at her phone, like in talking, being like that's Too good.

[B]

I'm like.

[D]

She, Gretchen does.

[A]

I rarely do it, but when I do, I get sucked in for an hour. 100% like, this is why I don't.

[B]

So funny.

[D]

She's not a social media feed, but if I walk by for 24 minutes, she will laugh at people falling on the ski lift that, I mean, just like non stop. If you fall down in front of Gretchen, she's sweet and she's nice and she rat good divots. She would laugh right in your face.

[B]

That's funny.

[D]

I hope you fall down.

[A]

I hope you fall down.

[D]

So they're very different.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

She will get on social media way too much and he only kind of gets it on. Gets on there kind of because he feels like he has to sometimes or whatever. It's not so we have her watch her a lot more and pay attention to who's talking to who. And mom at any point can just open up and look at all the things. And we do that. Yeah.

[B]

Has that been hard for you or.

[E]

Not really. I mean, now. I mean, there was a point in my life where it was, but now I'm really not. Like, I have social media, but I'm not on it as much as I used to be. Like, I only really for Snapchat. I only really answer people I like or like. If someone texts me on it, then I'll answer them. I'm not really. I don't post that much. Like, I'm not on it that much.

[B]

This is kind of a hard right turn, but how did you raise kind kids? Like, how did you raise kids who love all people and are just genuinely kind?

[D]

So that's a really good question. And I think you have a lot more to do with it than I do.

[A]

Honestly, I think. I don't even know. I mean, we taught them to be. I mean, we didn't really teach them to be nice. We taught them to be courteous and we taught them to obey their elders and to say, yes, sir, no, sir, yes, ma', am, no, ma', am, and to just genuinely treat everyone the same. But I think a lot of times you either just are or you're not.

[B]

You know, and they probably see how you guys love people.

[A]

I mean, sometimes you see kids that are not kind, you. I mean, there are times you see kids that aren't kind and their parents are the kindest people in the world and it's like, oh, how did that happen?

[D]

I think they're actually kinder than we are.

[A]

I know they are kinder than me, for sure.

[B]

So why do you, why do you think you're kind of.

[E]

I don't know. I don't not want to be. I don't want to not be kind.

[B]

Okay. Yeah.

[D]

So two things come to mind. One is that it's a fruit of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. So it's something that the spirit has to do in you. It's also one of the biblical definitions of what love is. Love is patient and love is kind of. And so it's got to be a work that the Lord's been doing in them. In fact, we've taken them on a few mission trips which I think are very. It's very important. And we were very scared the first time we ever went from like a what if our kids are the biggest spoiled brats you've ever seen in your life? And they just. Because, you know, and we would lay in bed at night after observing our children and be so pumped about what the Lord was doing in our kids life because they exceeded any kind of expectation. I mean, we would go to the infirmary and you guys, you would sit in the bed with Roland and just read Bible verses and you would just sit in the bed with Wendy and just sing songs and stuff. And I was like, I don't know that you can. That's necessarily a thing you train up like. Yeah. One of the things I've been most proud of both of you has been the way you treat people, really. And it's not like JP is really kind hearted and yet he is a killer. Like, you see him on the football field, he would, I mean, this thing would take over and he would want to annihilate somebody.

[B]

No idea where that comes from.

[D]

Right. Or on a jujitsu mat. I mean, I've seen him like almost pop a kid's head off. And so that thing's in there. And yet one of the things I'm most proud of is really their, their heart towards people, you know? Yeah. For before JP seniors a couple years ago, I was like, all right, what kind of trip you want to do? Let's do a family trip. Go within reason, wherever you want. And he, he chose to do another family mission trip back to where we did our first one.

[B]

Cool.

[D]

So I don't know.

[B]

You know, I really saw this on display. Abby Elder and I got to take Reagan to night to shine last year. And we got in the car afterwards and I had only heard from other people. I hadn't seen Reagan all night. I'd only heard from like she got paired with a Certain guest that had a boyfriend there, and it was challenging. And so I'm just like, oh, no. Like, this is Reagan's first night to shine. Like, she had a horrible night. I'm just like, Abby and I are gonna have to do a lot of, you know, big discipleship on the way home. Make sure she's like, not. She's like, okay. And then we get in the car, and she had had the best night, despite the circumstances. And she told us how she was sitting. I literally. I will remember this. Cause this is, like, this is what I want our kids to be like. She said she's sitting in the room waiting to get assigned to one of the guests. Cause she was a buddy, and she's with all of her friends, and it's taking forever, and she really wanted to be paired with someone, so she left her friends and just went by herself to the front of the line and said, I want to get in there. I want to serve and be paired with a buddy. And got assigned and didn't see her friends anymore. And, like, that in and of itself is like. There's so many factors there. There's the, like, going out on your own, even though it's not what your friends are doing and doing it and, like, loving people and seeing it for what it is. Like, it was just such a beautiful thing that I was like, that's a thing, you know?

[D]

Yeah, like, 100%. And, I mean, the Lord put that in her for sure. And of course we serve people, but I really do think they have exceeded anything that we could teach them. Or. I mean, it's also little stuff, like, you know, JP's girlfriend Hannah's been mentioned a few times, and she's got a little brother. And oftentimes for the boyfriend, like, the, you know, the older or now the college kid boyfriend, you might think, treat the younger brother like a nuisance. And JP doesn't. JP treats the young. Like, takes him to the gym and works out with him and plays video. Like, he's just kind to him. And. Yeah, yeah. There are many, many, many things I need and want for you to grow. Y' all two to grow in. But one of the areas where you are crushing it is really kindness. Good job.

[B]

And it's obvious from the outside in. Okay, last question, you guys. We're heading into a new year, and what are you most excited about in 2025? Who wants to go first? Anybody?

[E]

Over spring break, I'm going to the Dominican Republic.

[B]

Oh. On the high school mission trip. That's awesome. Okay. Have you ever been to the Dominican Republic? Do you speak Spanish? Can you try? Give us a preview.

[D]

Did you have a Spanish exam today?

[E]

Today?

[D]

Let' Come on, work it out.

[E]

I don't think I did good.

[C]

When I came downstairs this morning, I.

[E]

I walked out of the room, and I saw my friend who's in Spanish 3, and I'm in Spanish too. And she was like, oh, my gosh, I just crushed that. And I was like, oh.

[C]

When I came down. When I came downstairs this morning, she said, what'd you say?

[E]

I go, did you just wake up? You had, like, one sock on.

[C]

And then what did you.

[E]

And I was like, well, I just took a whole entire exam, so. But I wasn't. I don't think I did good.

[B]

Okay, well, can you say, like, hola. Hola. You're gonna be great, and then do it again.

[E]

Como estas? Oh, there you go.

[B]

That's all you need. Donate a salad bano.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Where's the bathroom? Okay. Okay. Well, that's gonna be an awesome trip. I can't wait to hear how that goes. That'll be cool. All right, what about for you, JP45?

[C]

We have a fishing trip that we're doing, so that'll be fun.

[D]

And then, yeah, all the JP Martins, me, him, and granddaddy going to Canada.

[B]

Cool.

[C]

I'll be a part of some other trips, like hunting in the future a lot. I'm looking forward to that.

[D]

That's a real key man we have. We talk about this. We've worked pretty hard to. To make memories. So, like, Disney and stuff growing up, whatever you think about Disney, I don't care. We were just trying to make memories. Hunting trips, fishing trips. We're just trying to create memories. And a big part of it is so that when your kids get grown, you have these things that you can continuously do to enjoy one another's company. You know what I mean?

[C]

So I'm also looking forward to. My girlfriend's going to come to FSU next year.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[C]

Okay, so that's good.

[B]

Okay. No more long distance.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Like what my dad was saying about going on trips and stuff. We still. I'm 15 and he's 19, and I had to think about that. And we still go to Disney, like, with the people we used to go with. We were never like, oh, we're too old for this. It was never really about Disney. It was about, like, being with family or family. Like, friends and family.

[B]

Love that. That's cool.

[D]

25 years, baby.

[A]

Yeah. Our 25th wedding anniversary is.

[B]

Oh, that makes it so, so easy.

[A]

The beginning of 2025.

[B]

That was worth. You're like, should we wait another year? No, we have to.

[D]

Then I'll have to math.

[B]

Oh, that's awesome. Okay. So sorry. Are you doing something special for it?

[D]

So many specials.

[A]

We are doing a lot, actually, over our anniversary. We'll be in California. That's when we'll be at Ryan's church.

[D]

Pastor Kwan. Yep.

[A]

But we're doing a lot of trips. We have a lot of things coming up in 2025. Reagan also gets her license in 2025.

[D]

What?

[B]

And she chose a mission trip over her.

[A]

I know she's excited for. I thought she was gonna.

[E]

Oh, yeah. I don't really. I mean, I kind of forgot about that.

[A]

I don't.

[D]

Jp, what do you think about your sister driving?

[B]

How's it going?

[C]

I don't think I will ever ride with her.

[B]

You're just gonna. You're gonna go off the road completely?

[C]

Yeah. I don't know.

[E]

It's.

[D]

You're great.

[E]

You tell me. How am I.

[D]

You're doing great. You're doing really great.

[B]

Are you the main trainer?

[D]

Of course.

[A]

He hasn't taken her out of the neighborhood yet. I'll be the retreat center. They did.

[B]

Oh, that's.

[A]

They went all the way to the gas station and back.

[D]

Oh, let's really dig in. Would you rather drive with Reagan?

[A]

I took her to UNF and drove around unf.

[E]

Mom has her moment.

[A]

It's a great place.

[E]

I was turning a practice, like, sharp corner. Car was turning, and I think she was, like, looking at her phone and just looked up, and she screams at the top of her lungs. She goes, car, car, car. And I was like, whoa. I got it.

[A]

When was that?

[E]

When we were driving literally at. On the, like, road leading into the retreat center.

[C]

How many times have y' all taken her to drive? A lot.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Half a dozen.

[C]

Y' all only took me, like, three times before.

[D]

You just drove.

[A]

You were, like, natural.

[C]

I only drove, like, like two or.

[B]

Three times before getting your license.

[C]

And then.

[D]

Then we just. And he just drove to the test and took it the first.

[B]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[C]

I. I driven, like, maybe twice, and then I drove back from the retreat center.

[D]

Right? Yeah. With your car.

[A]

Rebecca. Rebecca drove you. I didn't.

[C]

No, I drove.

[A]

I know, but she was in the car because I didn't want to.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Too funny.

[A]

She said, Rebecca Maxwell said, I'll do it.

[B]

Thank you. She really took one from.

[A]

I was too scared.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

You Just, like, knew how to drive. You're fine. You'll be fine.

[B]

I can't wait to next year's family Christmas episode. We'll talk about Reagan's driving career.

[E]

Maybe I'll drive us all here wild.

[D]

I ride with you.

[B]

No problem. Okay, what are you excited about in 20? 25.

[D]

25 years of marriage. Yeah, I mean, it's a real thing. It's like. That's a real thing. You got a lot working against you. Right? The devil doesn't want you to be married. The world in a big fan. Sometimes your own flesh tries to war against it. And yet, you know, and we're not just, like, hanging on, man. It's awesome. And we've. We're doing a lot. We're doing. We're actually. We're going to Rome, and we're going. We've got several big trips to Just a lot celebrate. It's gonna be awesome.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Out of the country, like, six times.

[D]

Let's go.

[B]

It's awesome.

[D]

We'll do 25 more.

[B]

You too, Rain.

[E]

Not invited.

[D]

We're going to some. Take you to Mexico, maybe.

[B]

She said.

[E]

Mom has been.

[A]

We gotta get that. Oh, no, no, no. JP's just gotta get his passport, that's all.

[B]

Oh, it's your fault, jp.

[C]

It takes, like, three weeks.

[D]

Here we go. You're logging in on a family meeting.

[A]

Here's the.

[B]

And now this is the travel meeting.

[D]

I hope people see. I think, like, I could. I even. I didn't really look at all the questions, but please don't think we have got this whole thing figured out. We are surely navigating this. And, you know, we fuss and fight, and I'm the worst, and. But, man, we love each other. And I. I wouldn't want any other family in the whole world, you know?

[B]

Well, the church loves y'. All. And I know it costs something to come to a podcast, especially. Well, Reagan, she loves podcasts. Secretly. Maybe even not secretly. Yeah, but, jp, I know this probably isn't your favorite thing, but it is. I think it's less about putting y' all on a pedestal and more just kind of pulling back the curtain and humanizing, and it just. It helps everyone relate even more. That's the really beautiful thing about podcasting, is even though it's us over here and people are watching or listening, it connects people in a way that's really, actually authentic. More authentic than other platforms. And it's a way for people to see just the humanness of all of us. And so I really appreciate you taking the time and our church loves y' all and thanks for your leadership and I hope, I hope my kids turn out like y' all because you're just, yeah, you're the goal. You're what we go for. So even, even amidst imperfections and humanness.

[D]

You know, and from the Martins to the church of 1122. Thank you. I mean, everything we have has come through this church. You know, our friends are like Reagan even said, our family. The fact that I get to do this for a living and this church puts up with us and all the men and women and young folks that partner with us to help raise these two, like, I don't know where in the world would be without the church of 1122. So we are forever grateful for this place and just want to be a part of it for all the days of my life.

[B]

Forever. Amen. Merry Christmas.

[D]

Merry Christmas.

[B]

Thank you for listening to the podcast.