Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin

Martin Family Christmas Special - 2024

Release Date: December 25, 2024
Host: Pastor Joby Martin
Guests: Gretchen Martin (wife), JP (son), Reagan (daughter)

Overview

In this heartwarming Christmas Day special, Pastor Joby Martin brings the whole Martin family—wife Gretchen, son JP, and daughter Reagan—together on the "Deepen" podcast. Reflecting on the past year, the Martins share family traditions, discuss transitions such as JP leaving for college, talk candidly about parenting, faith, gift-giving, and what it means to keep Christ at the center of their home. This lively and humorous conversation is filled with memorable stories, practical insights, and authentic moments that invite listeners into the realities and joys of a family deeply rooted in faith.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Christmas Family Traditions

[01:00–08:44]

• The Martins lovingly poke fun at each other, discussing haircuts and trends, especially JP’s hair and the fad of mullets.
  • “They waited for JP to graduate. …Break the glass ceiling of men's hair.” – Pastor Joby, 00:47
• Traditions include Japanese food on Christmas Eve due to church service schedules; now it’s a lasting family custom since it’s typically one of the few open restaurants ([03:01]).
  • “That was always...the only thing open...now it’s a tradition.” – Joby, 03:01
• Christmas morning routines: Reagan wakes up the family early, cinnamon rolls are a staple, and the pace is slower and more savoring as kids age ([04:00–04:42]).
• The best gifts ever? Their miniature schnauzers, chosen after much research for a hypoallergenic, “non-poodle” breed ([05:23–08:14]).

2. Stories Behind the Gifts

[11:05–15:36]

• Gretchen is hailed as the best gift-giver (“She gives the most gifts, that’s for sure.” – JP, 10:04). She is practical; the family prefers to share wish lists and even PowerPoints for presents.
  • “Gretch is the finder, I’m the funder.” – Joby, 11:11
• The challenge of shopping for Joby—he’s difficult to buy for since he often buys what he wants immediately. The ultimate topping gift: Gretchen surprising Joby with a Harley motorcycle, reminding him of receiving a bike as a boy ([11:52–15:03]).
  • “When you’re opening presents, it’s like you put it on right there...I think when you’re opening presents, you just put it on right there.” – Joby, 13:36

3. Balancing Santa, Spirituality, and Family Fun

[15:36–20:27]

• The family integrates faith and festivity: reading Luke 2 before gifts, prayers, and enjoying both secular and spiritual Christmas traditions.
  • “We are not anti any of the Christmas stuff. We watch Elf about four times.” – Joby, 15:52
• Joby describes three approaches to culture: reject, receive, or redeem—Christmas trees, Santa, traditions are seen as redeemable and pointing to Christ ([16:28–17:14]).
• Their approach to Santa embraced “the magic” without lying, using questions in response to doubts. Elf on the Shelf stories brought both magic and mayhem ([18:20–20:27]).
  • “It was very manipulative. …If the elf sees…” – Joby, 20:17

4. Transitions: JP Moves to College

[22:25–29:00]

• The family gets candid about JP’s first semester away and the emotional toll.
  • “The hardest thing is being away from people here…One of the best things is how many people I know in Tallahassee already.” – JP, 22:54
• Gretchen and Reagan share quiet grief and how little things (like nighttime noise or less laundry) reveal the shift at home ([24:33–29:33]).
• Joby shares the difference in letting a son vs. daughter leave home—less worry for a safety-conscious, MMA-trained JP, more protective concern for Reagan ([26:01]).
  • “With Reagan, completely different set of concerns.” – Joby, 26:34
• The importance of responsibility and maturing on your own: “The real key to becoming a man is really about taking responsibility for things.” – Joby, 26:38

5. Faith at the Center of Family Life

[30:23–38:17]

• No rigid formula for raising children in faith: the Martins relied on seasons of prayer, connection to church, and ensuring other godly adult influences ([30:23–31:23]).
  • “Me and mom love Jesus and love each other, and that's the beginning of the foundation.” – Joby, 31:21
• Both kids recount the significant impact of student group leaders outside their parents ([32:37–33:19]):
  • “Some of my favorite people in the world are some of my group leaders that I had in high school.” – JP, 32:46
• Parenting advice: let kids have agency, tailor spiritual involvement to their unique wiring, and prioritize “fanning the flame” rather than enforcing rules ([34:33–36:19]).

6. Parenting Choices: Church, Discipline & Technology

[35:16–44:57]

• Did they force their children to go to church?
  • Sometimes yes—especially when younger, but never as a punishment. They wanted faith to be a priority, but also respected age and wiring ([35:22–36:58]).
  • "The last thing you want church to feel like is a punishment.” – Joby, 36:20
• Approach to technology, social media, and video games: Focus on outcomes rather than rigid controls—emphasizing responsibility, self-regulation, and planned emancipation.
  • “If you can handle life and play video games, go for it.” – Joby, 42:08
  • Family transparency about access—mom can check Reagan's social media anytime ([44:31]).

7. Raising Kind & Compassionate Kids

[45:28–50:53]

• The Martins credit kindness to the work of the Holy Spirit and organic discipleship through mission trips and modeling behavior.
  • “It's a fruit of the spirit...a work the Lord’s been doing in them.” – Joby, 46:52
• Reagan’s story at Night to Shine mission night displays her independence and compassion, serving outside of her friend group ([49:00]).

8. Looking Ahead: Hopes for 2025

[51:09–56:46]

• Reagan: Excited for a high school mission trip to the Dominican Republic, learning Spanish ([51:09]).
• JP: Dad-son-granddad fishing trip, more hunting, and girlfriend joining FSU next year ([52:23]).
• Family trips and memories—a strong value for the Martins. Approaching their 25th wedding anniversary in 2025, with major trips planned to California, Rome, and more ([53:41–56:46]).

9. Closing Reflections & Gratitude

[57:11–59:04]

• The Martins emphasize their ongoing journey—acknowledging imperfections, learning as they go, and deep gratitude for the role of The Church of Eleven22 in their lives.
  • “Please don't think we have got this whole thing figured out... But, man, we love each other.” – Joby, 57:11
  • “Everything we have has come through this church... We are forever grateful for this place and just want to be a part of it for all the days of my life.” – Joby, 58:28

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Faith in Family:

  "Me and mom love Jesus and love each other, and that's the beginning of the foundation."
  — Joby, 31:21

• On Christmas Traditions:

  "We usually do Japanese the night before or Christmas Eve...now it’s a tradition.”
  — JP & Joby, 02:50–03:16

• On Parenting Philosophy:

  "The real key to becoming a man is really about taking responsibility for things."
  — Joby, 26:38
  "Train up a child in the way he should go, not in the way you think he should go."
  — Joby, 34:53

• On Gift-Giving:

  "Gretch is the finder, I’m the funder."
  — Joby, 11:11
  “I even told her this year. So you did it. You won. Don’t ever try to outdo it.” (on the Harley)
  — Joby, 11:52

• On Handling Santa Claus:

  "We never lie. We just…at some point, you're mature enough to shift your understanding of what’s going on."
  — Joby, 17:49

• On Kindness:

  "It's a fruit of the spirit...a work the Lord’s been doing in them.”
  — Joby, 46:52

• On Parenting & Church:

  "You just can't force people to love Jesus. You can help set priorities."
  — Joby, 36:19

• On Gratitude:

  "Everything we have has come through this church... We are forever grateful for this place and just want to be a part of it for all the days of my life."
  — Joby, 58:28

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:00] — Christmas Eve/Dining Traditions
• [05:23] — Best Family Gifts (the dogs)
• [11:05] — Gift-Giving, Surprising Dad with a Harley
• [15:36] — Balancing Santa, Presents, and Jesus
• [22:25] — Reflections on JP Leaving for College
• [30:23] — Keeping Christ at the Center of the Family
• [35:16] — Parenting, Church Attendance
• [41:11] — Social Media & Technology Policy
• [45:28] — Raising Kind Kids
• [51:09] — Family Plans for 2025
• [53:41] — 25th Anniversary and Upcoming Travels
• [57:11] — Authenticity, Family Imperfection, and Gratitude for Church

Tone & Takeaways

The episode captures the tone of a close-knit, faith-focused, and fun-loving family unafraid to share their vulnerabilities, laughter, and lessons learned. The Martins are relatable and refreshingly honest—reflecting humility, intentionality, and a deep reliance on Jesus. Listeners are left with practical wisdom for parenting, a renewed sense of joy about family traditions, and a greater understanding of how to build an authentic Christian home.

Merry Christmas from the Martin family and the Church of Eleven22!