Higher Ground

Within the last few days things have taken a noticeable turn for the better and it would appear my baseline has risen a little. I’m still getting bothered with boredom etc but there’s not the same exasperation that there was and it’s much easier to live with. At this point I am going to assume that the venting has indeed started.

At the earliest, Day 120 was the estimate but I would say things started to change around day 116, at the tail end of that last flat spot I reported a few days back. Effectively, it has taken four months to reach this level of stability since quitting cannabis. That timeframe is staggering, and I suspect it is rarely documented with this level of granularity.

Stepping Stones

Usually you get the 30/60/90 days highlights which I have spoken about before, then generally there is a massive, undocumented jump to the six-month mark. That “missing” window between 90 days and 180 days is where most people get lost. This way anyone who stumbles across the map will have “stepping stones” to get them there, along with the highs and lows that accompany them.

I don’t expect it will be plain sailing for me at this stage either but my head does seem to be a little clearer, especially when it comes to creativity and dare I say it comedy. The last time I even felt the remotest bit funny was around day 47-50 just before I hit the eight week wall. Since then even on my clear days comedic ideas have been virtually non existent.

Morgen Muffel

I have been planning my return to the stage using the guitar as a sonic buffer and I do have a routine about the scaffold but that was written before I had even stopped the cannabis. Yesterday while I was out and about I had several ideas which I thought were quite good, the snag is they’re completely different to what I would normally be developing for the stage. In fact it would be a complete change of stage persona, but I am going to have to run with it and see. Suffice to say if I go through with it and it works there’s going to be an awful lot of open mouths.

My previous incarnation as a comedian was chemically produced, the one that seems to be appearing is most definitely not, and the complete opposite of what I am in real life. Maybe this is the answer of course, I’ve no idea. I have my new stage name all ready to go which would suit this style and I think I’ve picked my intro music which would also fit so I’ll just go with the flow and see what happens

The Lion Sleeps Tonight

On day 109 I documented my visit to the clothes shop, a trip borne out of necessity, not desire, but yesterday I went of my own free will, didn’t panic at all and managed to get something I not only like, but actually fits properly. It didn’t occur to me until I got home that this was new, I guess the angst that would normally accompany me on these journeys has gone.

I also had a laugh to myself about the cologne I had bought myself a few weeks back. At the time I was delighted I had spent a whole £25 on a “decent” brand. Since then it has become apparent that £25 is not suffice for a decent fragrance, so I’ve done a little more research and splashed out on several sample bottles of high end “Eau de parfum.”

What with that and the clothes I really am evolving, where will it all end?

Get full access to DeepSeek and Me at deepseekandme.substack.com/subscribe