When a friend or relative has been living in sin, how should we respond?

Do we confront him and risk pushing him away? Or do we stay silent and thereby condone the sin?

In this episode of Desert Fathers, we find a middle way.

An elder discovers a brother living a secret double life. Instead of calling him out, the elder waits patiently.

When the right moment comes, the elder offers a small but sincere gesture to the brother—which opens the door to repentance.

Fraternal correction seeks to win our brother back, rather than assert we’re right. Bishop Varden unpacks the elder’s example so we too can act with patience, wisdom, and love.

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This January, take up the example of the Fathers and embrace a life of prayer, asceticism, and fraternity. Leave behind the pharaohs and idols that keep you enslaved and take up the journey to the promised land. Join tens of thousands of men from all around the world for the Exodus 90 Challenge. We start January 5th, 2026. Download the Exodus 90 app or visit exodus90.com to learn more.

Visit desertfathers.com to join our email newsletter for updates and reflections.

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We owe a special thanks to our partners. Desert Fathers with Bishop Erik Varden is...

• 🦉...written by Bishop Erik Varden. You can follow Bishop Varden on his blog

• 🎥 ...produced by EWTN