Chapter 18 - Spoke to My Damn Soul

Summary

Desert Skies - Chapter 18: Spoke to My Damn Soul

Release Date: September 9, 2024
Host/Author: Jared Carter

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Overview

In Chapter 18, titled Spoke to My Damn Soul, Jared Carter delves deeper into the enigmatic world of Desert Skies, exploring themes of existential angst, friendship, and the mysteries of the astral plane. This episode centers around the interactions between Jared (also referred to as Tindi), Mac, and Nani as they navigate their existence on the astral highway, confront lingering pains from their past lives, and encounter unexpected revelations that challenge their perceptions of reality.

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Key Discussions and Plot Points

1. Personal Milestone and Community Engagement (00:25 - 03:34)

Jared opens the episode by sharing a personal milestone—his 40th birthday—and his plans to engage with a college podcasting class in New York City. He outlines various ways fans can support him, including auctions of his scripts and purchasing personalized messages. This segment underscores the close-knit community surrounding Desert Skies and Jared's appreciation for his audience.

2. Introduction to Club 86 and New Members (03:34 - 05:24)

Jared welcomes new members to Club 86, a Patreon-based community offering exclusive perks. He playfully assigns favorite chip flavors to each member, highlighting the show's whimsical and character-driven nature. This section serves to build a sense of belonging among listeners and deepen the lore of the Desert Skies universe.

3. Emotional Confrontation Between Jared and Mac (05:24 - 15:59)

The core of the episode unfolds as Jared and Mac engage in a heartfelt conversation about Jared's persistent sadness and the weight of his responsibilities. Mac reveals insights shared by Nani, suggesting that Jared has been grappling with deeper emotional struggles than he admits. Notable moments include:

• Jared's Reflection on His Pain (05:35 - 06:25)

  • Jared Carter [05:35]: "I can't imagine existence without you. Or Nani."
  • This quote emphasizes Jared's reliance on his friends for emotional support.

• Mac Discusses Nani's Observations (08:27 - 10:01)

  • Mac [09:12]: "It's like I hear him, but I don't hear him."
  • Mac explains his unique ability to perceive the true emotions and thoughts behind people's words, shedding light on Jared's hidden pain.

4. Revelation of Tendi's Change and Memory Loss (12:12 - 15:22)

Mac recounts the mysterious transformation of the character Tendi, the attendant, who appears to have altered memories and possibly a different identity. He discovers discrepancies in vehicle details and uncovers a map with the old attendant's handwriting, hinting at underlying secrets.

• Discovery of the Map (13:05 - 13:14)
  • Mac [13:05]: "He had to have used it. Do you want to see it?"
  • This moment raises questions about the true nature of their existence and the station they inhabit.

5. Encounter with Weiwei and the Supernatural Conversation (15:22 - 24:42)

Jared experiences an otherworldly encounter with Weiwei, who appears to be a version of himself from a different time or plane. Weiwei imparts profound insights about Jared's pain and introduces the concept of a "gift" that Jared is yet to receive. Key highlights include:

• Weiwei's Assurance (19:30 - 21:00)

  • Weiwei [21:00]: "There's nothing that's been lost that won't be restored. Nothing that's broken will remain unmended in the end."
  • This quote offers a message of hope and the potential for healing despite enduring pain.

• Discussion on the Purpose of Pain (20:15 - 22:00)

  • Weiwei [22:00]: "Pain can serve all kinds of purposes. In your case, it's helped you to grow in a way that you needed to."
  • Weiwei elucidates how Jared's experiences with pain have equipped him with empathy and resilience.

6. Discovery of the Cicada Shell and Reflection (26:26 - 32:45)

Jared finds a cicada shell, symbolizing transformation and rebirth, prompting introspection about his current state and the nature of his existence. His interaction with Mac reveals a shift in his perspective, allowing him to appreciate the small beauties of the astral plane.

• Symbolism of the Cicada Shell (26:39 - 26:45)
  • Jared Carter [26:43]: "It's just like us when we die. I mean, we're just shedding our first skin."
  • This metaphor underscores themes of transformation and the cyclical nature of existence.

7. Final Reflections and Celebration (32:45 - 34:04)

Jared and Mac celebrate a moment of happiness sparked by a mysterious message, symbolizing a breakthrough in Jared's emotional state. The episode culminates in a sense of camaraderie and the anticipation of future challenges.

• Mac's Exuberant Declaration (33:46 - 33:57)
  • Mac [33:46]: "It's like you spoke to my damn soul. Who? Damn. Let's go celebrate."
  • This marks a pivotal emotional moment, highlighting the deep bond between the characters.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jared Carter [05:35]: "I can't imagine existence without you. Or Nani."

• Mac [09:12]: "It's like I hear him, but I don't hear him."

• Mac [13:05]: "He had to have used it. Do you want to see it?"

• Weiwei [19:30]: "There's nothing that's been lost that won't be restored. Nothing that's broken will remain unmended in the end."

• Weiwei [22:00]: "Pain can serve all kinds of purposes. In your case, it's helped you to grow in a way that you needed to."

• Jared Carter [26:43]: "It's just like us when we die. I mean, we're just shedding our first skin."

• Mac [33:46]: "It's like you spoke to my damn soul. Who? Damn. Let's go celebrate."

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Insights and Themes

• The Burden of Empathy: Jared's struggle with a "savior complex" illustrates the emotional toll of empathizing deeply with others' pain.

• Transformation and Rebirth: Symbolized by the cicada shell, the episode explores themes of transformation, both physical and emotional, as characters evolve within the astral plane.

• Friendship and Support: The unwavering support between Jared, Mac, and Nani underscores the importance of companionship in navigating existential challenges.

• Mysteries of the Astral Plane: The introduction of Weiwei and altered memories hints at deeper cosmic rules governing their existence, setting the stage for future revelations.

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Conclusion

Chapter 18 of Desert Skies masterfully intertwines personal introspection with cosmic mysteries, offering listeners a profound exploration of pain, purpose, and the enduring power of friendship. Through evocative dialogues and symbolic elements, Jared Carter continues to build a rich narrative that resonates with themes of growth, transformation, and the quest for understanding in the celestial spheres.

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Connect with Desert Skies:

• Club 86: Patreon
• Merchandise: Shop
• Discord: Join Here
• Website: desertskiespodcast.com

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All episodes are written, produced, and performed by Jared Carter.

Transcript

[Jared Carter]

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[Mac]

State law not available in all states hello travelers.

[Jared Carter]

Before we get to the show, I want to start out on a bit of a personal note. Today's major milestone for me is I'm turning 40. As I approach the twilight years of my life and my inevitable visit to Desert Skies, I have a birthday request. I've been invited to visit a college in New York whose fiction podcasting class is listening to Desert Skies this semester New York City. I'm gonna visit the class, talk to them about the show, answer any questions they have about podcasting. We're also gonna host an event there one evening the week that I'm visiting. Details about the time and location will be announced later. I'm trying to raise funds in order to get there. Take my family, eat some bagels, find out if Sesame street is real. Three ways that you can help First, I'm holding an auction for my scripts from now through the end of September featuring 12 main episode scripts and FMs that I've used to record the show. Some of your favorite episodes signed marked up and they have coffee and curry stains so are they worth anything? Who knows. Second, you can purchase personalized audio or video message from me. And lastly, if you want, you can just chip in a few bucks. You can find all these options by clicking the link called send jc to nyc or in the show notes or by visiting desertskiespodcast.com sendjctonyc thank you so much for your generosity. Just by being a fan, you've already made this birthday very special to me. Enjoy the show. Hello friends. Before starting today's episode, I'd like to take a moment to welcome some new folks to Club 86. This time we're going to load them up with a bag of their favorite chips. This is of course completely fantasy, but delicious all the same. Please welcome the following folks to the station. Papa Gnome, here is your cheese flavored Ritz Bits as requested. Satin Void lay's Dill Pickle Chips for ya. Emily here's your olw Truffle mayonnaise flavor all the way from Sweden Onyx Trevelyan here's some of those baked filets you like so much. Anna Pittman the classic cheddar and sour cream. Yeeva here's Your kettle chips with tomato and basil flavor. Sorry, I took a couple already. They're amazing. Pippin, all the way from your favorite pub. Some scampi fries. Reese, some homemade tortilla chips. Sliced them and fried them myself. Ren, again with the delicious lay's dill potato chips. Kirsten, James and Angela, I'm sorry I wasn't able to get your chips order in time, but that's okay. You can have some of my favorite salt and vinegar Pringles. And one for me. Join Club 86 and you'll get access to all kinds of great perks, from exclusive episodes, including the Game Night miniseries, to special Discord privileges, exclusive merch, early episodes as they're available, and so much more. It's also a great way to support the show. To join, visit patreon.com desertskies or click the link in the show notes below. Thank you to all who have joined. Now, time for chapter 18. Spoke to my damn soul. Enjoy listening. For the best listening experience, headphones are recommended. Mack, why have you brought me out here?

[Mac]

Isn't it obvious? I brought you out here to kill you. Tindy. Any ideas on a good place to hide the body? All right, all right. I didn't bring you out here to murder you for obvious reasons, which are because of our, you know, condition.

[Jared Carter]

Are you calling death a condition?

[Mac]

I brought you out here because Weiwei told me to.

[Jared Carter]

Weiwei told you to bring me out here?

[Mac]

Yep. I know it's weird, but he's a little weird and a little wise, and then he told me to leave you out here, so, adios, amigo. Best of luck.

[Jared Carter]

Wait, wait, wait. Why would Weiwei tell you to do that? That doesn't make any sense. Just leave me standing in the wash?

[Mac]

I don't know, man. Honestly, he didn't tell me nothing. Said something about it being time. I'm guessing he's worried about you and feels like he's gotta do something or something. Dandy. I'm worried about you.

[Jared Carter]

Why?

[Mac]

I don't know. I told Nani that I thought you were just, you know, in one of your moods, and she pointed out that it doesn't seem to be, like, a momentary disposition, that maybe you're having a real hard time, like, all of the time. Maybe you have been for a while.

[Jared Carter]

She told you that?

[Mac]

I think she can see things for more than they appear to be. The way she laid eyes on that woman and knew who she was. She's got some keen insight. And I think when she said that, you're in, you know, Bad shape. I realized that. Well, I've known that for a long time. I just don't like to think about it. You can seem so okay sometimes. But I can hear it.

[Jared Carter]

You can hear it?

[Mac]

Yeah. Even when you're laughing or shooting the shit with a traveler, which, let's face it, is not often Mr. Serious. I can hear it. The sadness.

[Jared Carter]

I'm sorry, Mac. I.

[Mac]

What in the hell are you apologizing for? I'm the one who didn't say anything when I should have. I just didn't know what to say. I still don't know what to say. Nani doesn't know what to say.

[Jared Carter]

You don't have to say anything, Mac. I'm just glad you guys are here. I can't imagine existence without you. Or Nani. It's weird. We barely know her. I know, but Kash is gone and I needed her. I don't think I realized just how much I needed her. The three of us have almost never been apart. And Nani is great, but Cash has left a hole that you feel abandoned. No. Yeah. I just don't know why she'd leave without us, without saying anything.

[Mac]

I'm sure she had a reason, Tindi. And I'm sure it was a good one. She knows how much we care about her. I think maybe she's trying to protect us from something.

[Jared Carter]

Yeah, but that's not fair. We should have had a choice.

[Mac]

No, I don't think that's true. I don't know about you, but she's more than earned my trust.

[Jared Carter]

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. I guess that's true. Oh, hey, Weiwei.

[Mac]

Sure thing, Tandy. I'm gonna go back to the station. Weiwei's gonna take it from here.

[Jared Carter]

But if you leave, I have no way of understanding what Weiwei says.

[Mac]

Weiwei, what do you think? Sorry, Tandy. Weiwei says I gotta go. Be sure and come back to the station as soon as you're done. I want to hear what this is all about.

[Jared Carter]

Okay, Mac. Well, Weiwei, I'm here as you requested. Look, I know you saw me crying earlier. I'm guessing this has something to do with that. You're not gonna say anything? I guess that makes sense. It's not like I'd. Why are you looking down the waste. Wait, wait. What was that? Who is that? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Who is that?

[Nani]

So what happened? Did he come back with you? You left him out there? Why did you leave him out there? Is he okay?

[Mac]

Whoa. You're really worried about him, huh?

[Nani]

You're Not.

[Mac]

I mean, yeah, I am. I'm worried that cash leaving is gonna be the straw that breaks the Tendies back. I mean, if it's bad enough for Weiwei to get involved, they spend like, zero time alone together.

[Nani]

Really? Why? Weiwei doesn't like him.

[Mac]

It's not that he doesn't like him, it's just they don't really have a way to talk to each other and well.

[Nani]

Well, what?

[Mac]

Weiwei thinks Tendi is a bit of a downer. A wet blanket.

[Nani]

Yeah, well, downers need friends too.

[Mac]

Yeah, it's just Weiwei's nature. He's extremely playful. Always looking for the next rule to break, or the next person to prank, or the next coyote to date. He can be deadly serious, but that's only when he needs to be. The rest of the time, he's a big old party of one.

[Nani]

So the opposite of Tendi.

[Mac]

Exactly.

[Nani]

And was the Weiwei you left him with just now the deadly serious one or the party one?

[Mac]

I don't think he was completely either one of those just now. He sounded excited.

[Nani]

So you're the only one who can understand him. What does he sound like to you?

[Mac]

Well, it's hard to describe. Tendi's asked before too. It's like I hear him, but I don't hear him. He can make the tiniest sound, though, and there's enough words in him to fill the page of a bio.

[Nani]

That's some gift you got there. Does it only work with animals?

[Mac]

Nah, it works with people too, Kinda. Only sometimes. Like it happens when it needs to happen. Like they say something and I can hear the real words they're saying, the words behind the words. It can be really helpful. Sometimes. It can be really painful too.

[Nani]

You ever heard me say something I wasn't saying?

[Mac]

Nah, I don't think so. Probably because you're so perfectly good at saying what you're feeling.

[Nani]

Am I? Maybe to a degree. But I don't feel like I'm perfect at it.

[Mac]

What do you mean?

[Nani]

Well, Mac, how did you feel when you first got here?

[Mac]

Like when I woke up on the astral plane.

[Nani]

Yeah. You woke up here like me. No memories apart from, like, the general knowledge of things. No personal memories.

[Mac]

That's right.

[Nani]

But did you feel something? Something that carried over with you even after you forgot? Why?

[Mac]

Anger.

[Nani]

Really? That's surprising.

[Mac]

Yeah, it was like I was missing out on something. Like I'd come so close to getting what I wanted the most, and then at the last moment.

[Nani]

At the last moment, what?

[Mac]

I don't know. But I woke up angry. And underneath the angry, I think there was sad. Like a whole heap of it. I didn't want to acknowledge it, though, pride and all.

[Nani]

Did that feeling ever go away?

[Mac]

Nah, it's still there. It got better, though. Like, a lot better. This place changed me a lot. But that feeling, it's always there. Thank the prime mover. I got burritos and good friends and stars and stuff to soothe the pain. What about you, Nani? Did you carry anything over with you?

[Nani]

Well, when I first got here, I felt like I'd found something. Something that mattered more to me than anything else in the world. It felt like joy. And then almost immediately after that loss. Like I'd found it and lost it, kind of. It was a very real feeling. Still is, but it's hard to put into words.

[Mac]

What do you think Tindi's carrying right now?

[Nani]

You'd know better than anyone. You got here first. Right. What do you remember about when he showed up?

[Mac]

Well, Tendy pulled up real fast. I saw his face through the window. When he saw me, I could see he was saying something.

[Nani]

Saying what?

[Mac]

No idea. He was driving a 61 Buick Skylar. Beautiful car. We got one out back, the one Dristan gave Tendi Anyways, he gets out of the car and I said something like, Greytons Traveler. And he walks right past me like I'm not even there. He goes inside and I fueled up the car and I'm wondering what's happening inside. And then I started to get a little curious and began going inside. And when I opened the door, the old attendant was. And Tendi was standing behind the counter.

[Nani]

Wow, that's freaky.

[Mac]

You want to know what's freaky? I swear, at the last second before I entered the store, I looked in the glass of the door as I was opening it, and I could have swore that Skylark didn't look the way I'd left it. It was just like a half second, though. And then I saw Tendi, and that took all my attention. And when I finally looked back, the car was gone. And I always figured it was just a figment of my imagination, but I always just something had changed, and I think I just confirmed my suspicion.

[Nani]

What'd you figure out?

[Mac]

That 61 Skylark turned into an 86 Skylark the moment Tendi became the attendant. Every new car that came into the station after that has been an 86. Whoa.

[Nani]

That's cool. What happened to your car after you got here?

[Mac]

Wait, wait. Took it and learned how to drive in it. And learned how to crash in it.

[Nani]

The coyote drove your car.

[Mac]

Nonnie. This story is not about my car.

[Nani]

Sorry. So how did you confirm your suspicion?

[Mac]

It's crazy, but I think the car you're driving once belonged to the old attendant. I found a map in there that had his handwriting on it. He had to have used it. Do you want to see it?

[Nani]

I'm very interested, but I want to get back to Tendi.

[Jared Carter]

Oh.

[Mac]

Oh yeah, well, Tendi. You know, the funny thing is, I never got to ask him what he said when he was still in the car. He lost that memory along with the rest of them. I've started to bring it up a few times and. Well, what's the point? He's not gonna know. And it'd probably just make him upset. For all we know, the answer to who Tindi is could have been in those words. It's okay. Cause since then I've learned how to read lips.

[Nani]

Really?

[Mac]

See, you just said really.

[Nani]

Yeah, I said that out loud.

[Mac]

I know, but I wasn't listening. I was reading your lips.

[Nani]

How did Tendi seem when he woke up?

[Mac]

Confused. Like angry confused. And I got the feeling he was ashamed of something. Scared about what in the world he was supposed to be doing, why he was chosen to be an attendant and what that even meant. And he stayed that way until.

[Nani]

Until what?

[Mac]

Until Cash said that everything was gonna be alright. Said she'd help him settle in and she'd be there every step along the way. That seemed to quiet his soul a little bit. She really comforted him. She's done it a lot since he got here. Not just for him, for me too.

[Nani]

It makes me happy that she was able to help him. I like Robo Girl. It's so confusing waking up behind that counter.

[Mac]

Yeah, it is, isn't it? It's like. Wait, what do you mean, behind that counter?

[Nani]

Yeah, it's disorienting, but your first memory.

[Mac]

Was driving to the station right after you got to the astral plane.

[Nani]

Oh no, that's not what happened. I woke up right there, standing behind the counter.

[Mac]

Uh, hell. And then what?

[Nani]

And then Cash said, I'm sorry. And I said, for what? And she got nervous and then she started rambling about the way you guys do inventory and how she can control the neon signs outside. And then about how ice machines work. And then you and Tendi showed up and you gave me that awesome introduction.

[Mac]

Your car.

[Nani]

What about my car?

[Mac]

It was facing the wrong way. I didn't think of it. Figured you just turned into the station after you Passed the pumps, pulled a ue, like some travelers do. But that's not what happened, is it?

[Nani]

I don't know. What are you talking about?

[Mac]

Nani, I don't think you were coming from the physical plane when you got here. I think you were coming from the astral plane. And now that I think about it, I think we need to look at the map.

[Jared Carter]

Wait, wait. What was that? Who is that? Weiwei. Weiwei, who is that? Well, well, well. Way, way. Coyotl, it's so good to see you. Put her there. Thank you so much for bringing him here. You doing okay? Good. Do you mind if me and him talk alone? Thank you, my friend. And you? Wow. I remember having a hard time, but I don't remember feeling as distressed as you look right now. What's going on? Who are you? Well, I'm. You're me. Yeah. From a different time. A way different time. In more ways than one. No. This isn't happening. Wait, wait. Where'd you go? What kind of trick is this? This isn't funny. He really cares about you, you know. Like, a lot. You're gonna find this hard to believe, but I am. You from what? The future? Yeah. Yeah, from down the road a little. How far down? It's hard to say. Time is strange here. You should try stepping out of it. Sometimes things become a lot more clear outside of time. That's a discussion for another time. Why are you here? Why am I here? I'm here to give you a gift. Your gift. My gift? Direct to you, straight from the superiors. The superiors? Who are they? All in good time. You've been suffering a terrible pain for so long. One that carried over with you from the physical plane. One you carry right in this very moment. Yes. I'm here to take it away. And to give you your gift. Take it away? That's right. It served its purpose. Pain is strange in the way it can do that. But now it's time for something new. What do you mean, it served its purpose? You're saying I didn't have to be in pain all this time? In total and complete anguish. It could have been taken away. Why should I trust you? You don't have to. I'm still going to give you your gift, whether you trust me or not. As long as you listen. You're not me. I am more you than you could ever imagine. I'm who you're becoming. Your pain serves a purpose. There's not a drop that's going to be wasted. That makes no sense. It's the only Thing that makes sense. If we can't see the purpose in the pain, then all that's left is terrible chaos, existential dread, the unending asking of why. But why? What has pain ever done for me? Pain can serve all kinds of purposes. In your case, it's helped you to grow in a way that you needed to. And what way is that? Empathy. You're uniquely equipped to love people, to feel with them the deep things that they feel, because you felt them, too. You've been on the receiving end of all types of it. I'm not saying those things are good in and of themselves, but they happen. And it's what makes you good at your job. It's also the thing that's destroying the inside. Nani says. Nani is this woman. I know who Nani is. Remember? Nani says. She says you have a savior complex. I remember that one really? Stung. She's good at saying things that sting. The best ones are when they do it in love. She's right, isn't she? I'm broken. I feel like I have to fix everyone. Like I have to control everything, like I have to make them stop feeling bad. Why? Do you know why? Can you tell me? I do know why. But I can't tell you why. Not yet. But there is something I can do for you. Take away my pain. Really? You mean that? Yes. But not in the way you might expect. Like I said before, I have a gift for you. I thought the gift was taking away the pain. That's not what the gift is. It's part of what the gift can do. How do you know? Because I'm you, and therefore I have this gift. What is it? I like to call it the right word at the right time. That's a gift I do not have. There's that negative self talk, the heaping of shame on yourself that has defined our existence. The repeated stabbing of our own heart. It's exhausting. But you have said the right word at exactly the right time to exactly the right people. Many times. You've helped a lot of people, far more than you've hurt. But the problem is that you've been given a gift that you're yet to receive. Are you ready to receive it? Yes and no. I can't imagine not feeling like this. I'm scared of it. Does that make sense? It's funny, isn't it? The way we adopt. Our pain becomes a part of us. Just another thing we can't let go of. That's a normal way to feel, though. Nothing to be Ashamed of? He felt the same way when he received his gift. Who? Mac. He got his gift a while ago. Almost. In the very beginning. What was the gift? You know what it was. What it is. Mack can understand animals? Yes. But it's more than that. Mack can hear the soul speaking. Hear souls speaking. Even human souls? Sometimes. Yes. But they're often drowned out by words. So Matt can hear the voice of the soul. That explains so much. And you can speak to it? What do you mean? It's hard to describe. It happens when it needs to happen. It's not a parlor trick that you can just do on a whim. It's always exactly the right time. How will I know? You'll just know. And it's what? A word of comfort. Often it is. Sometimes it's not. I rarely understand it, though. This time I do. This time I have a word for you. It's going to change everything. Will you receive it? It's now or never. It's going to change everything. Yes. And if you want the gift, you have to receive this word. You can't give what you haven't received. Mac never mentioned receiving a gift. Am I going to remember any of this? I don't think so. How do you know? Because I don't remember it. Will you receive it? Okay. Good. You carry the weight of every possible outcome for every possible person that you encounter. Yes. And you hate yourself for everyone you fail to save on this side of existence. You hate yourself. You hate yourself because of the people that you hurt when you were still alive. I didn't mean to. You didn't. But you still carry that burden. The fear that you will never make it right. Yes. Listen to me. There's nothing that's been lost that won't be restored. Nothing that's broken will remain unmended in the end. The end. Is it a good ending? A marvelous one. You're going to make mistakes. It's inevitable. You're not going to be able to save everyone. It's impossible. You're still gonna say the wrong things. And you're still going to hurt people you didn't mean to hurt. But. Oliver. Yeah? Listen closely. This is the most important part. I'm listening. It's all going to be alrigh. And there's not a damn thing you can do to stop it. Okay.

[Mac]

My dad works in B2B marketing. He came by my school for career day and said he was a big roas man. Then he told everyone how much he loved calculating his return on ad spend. My friends still Laugh at me. To this day, not everyone gets B2B, but with LinkedIn, you'll be able to reach people who do get $100 credit on your next ad campaign. Go to LinkedIn.com results to claim your credit. That's LinkedIn.com results. Terms and conditions apply. LinkedIn, the place to be. To be. Since you're new to H and R Block, we'll look at your returns from the last three years for any money your last guy might have missed for free. I could get money back from last year. You could.

[Cash]

We'll find any mistakes.

[Mac]

Could have really used that two years ago when I dated that mistake for five months.

[Jared Carter]

Don't leave money on the table.

[Mac]

Switch to H and R Block and.

[Jared Carter]

Get a free Second look review.

[Mac]

Second look is included at no additional.

[Jared Carter]

Cost with the purchase of tax preparation. Results vary. All tax situations are different. Fees apply if you have us file an amended return. Hey, Mac. Hi, Nani.

[Mac]

Kendi, I'm so glad you're back. I've been so worried about you, and we didn't know how long you'd be, and I didn't want to stress you out, but I think maybe Nani was on the astral plane for a while before she lost her memories because her car was facing the wrong direction and she woke up behind the counter, and I don't even think that was her car. I think it was your car, the one the attendant took when you got here. He must have gave it to her or something, because I found a map inside, and it's his handwriting. And apparently she dots her eyes with hearts. And I think maybe Cash knew all this. And I know that that's not what you need right now. You don't need to hear that kind of thing because you got so much on your plate, but I feel like I'm about to explode.

[Jared Carter]

Hmm. Mac, look what I found on the way back from the wash. What?

[Mac]

What'd you find? A clue.

[Jared Carter]

Clue to what? Nani, come here. You look, too.

[Nani]

What is it?

[Jared Carter]

Check this out.

[Mac]

Tindy, are you okay?

[Jared Carter]

I'm fine. Why?

[Mac]

Because that's just a cicada shell.

[Jared Carter]

What do you mean, just a cicada shell? I've never seen one before.

[Mac]

You had to have. They're everywhere right now.

[Jared Carter]

It's just like us when we die. I mean, we're just shedding our first skin.

[Mac]

Tandy, are you high?

[Jared Carter]

No, Mac, I'm not.

[Mac]

What happened out there?

[Jared Carter]

I don't know. You took me to the wash. Weiwei showed up. You left me there. Then Weiwei disappeared. Then I found this cicada shell and I looked at the stars for a while, and I think I'm gonna go outside and do that again.

[Mac]

Andy, you've seen the stars a million times.

[Jared Carter]

No, Mac, I don't think I have. If you guys don't need anything from me, I'm gonna head back out there. Do you need anything from me?

[Mac]

An explanation?

[Nani]

Tendi, if you're really doing okay, can we talk about what Mac very rapidly brought up when you came inside? I can probably explain it a little better.

[Jared Carter]

I think I understood. Mac. Your memories were erased here in the station. Cash knew. Probably the one who did it, I'm guessing. Sounds like you had a car, but it's actually the car that was here for me. That. The old attendant. You must have found the car or he gave it to you or something. Does that sum it up?

[Nani]

Yes.

[Jared Carter]

Hmm. Doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe we should sit on it for a while.

[Mac]

Maybe we should not. It's kind of a big deal. Don't you think?

[Jared Carter]

It feels like a big deal. I can understand that. But the two of you are here with me. I don't care where you came from, Nani. I'm just so glad you're here. Here. And Cash is really, really smart and really, really capable, and. I mean, we have Xochilaque and Corson out there, probably looking for the prime mover. Maybe talking to him right now. Or maybe not. Maybe everything's gone totally wrong. Either way, I'm sure it's gonna be okay.

[Nani]

Okay?

[Jared Carter]

There's just no telling. All I know is that there's nothing we can do about it right now. So let's enjoy this time we have together and do the best job we can. Now, if you don't mind, I'm gonna reach over you and grab some of these sunflower seeds.

[Mac]

But you're not being yourself.

[Jared Carter]

I'll be back in a little bit, guys. Whistle if you need me.

[Nani]

Uh, Tendi seems to be doing.

[Mac]

But this is not who Tendi is.

[Nani]

You sure? Maybe it is. Is he not stressed enough for you?

[Mac]

That's dismissive.

[Nani]

I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be. Obviously, something happened to him out there. And you said that you trust your coyote friend, right?

[Mac]

Trust Weiwei? Of course I do. Most of the time. But I need an answer for this, for. For that. Is he under a spell or something? I gotta know, Nani.

[Nani]

And what if you can't get the answer that you're looking for? What if something happened in that desert that can't be explained. Mac, Are you gonna be able to accept your friend for who he is? If he's not an anxious mess?

[Mac]

That's a great question. You're right. I just don't know what to think.

[Nani]

Maybe just give it some time. This might be temporary.

[Mac]

Maybe that's what I'm afraid of.

[Nani]

It got your hopes up. And now that you have your friend in a good place, you're already worried that it's not gonna last.

[Mac]

Yeah, maybe. Aren't you worried that's gonna happen?

[Nani]

No, not really. But I'm a bit of an optimist. Maybe to a fault.

[Mac]

I'm gonna go talk to him.

[Nani]

You do that. I'll stay here while you chat with your friend.

[Mac]

Hey, bud. Stand that way too long and your neck's gonna start hurting.

[Jared Carter]

Yeah, you're probably right. Mac. I've tried looking at the stars before. Off and on.

[Mac]

I know, bud.

[Jared Carter]

I always thought it might help me feel better. But looking at the stars just prompted more questions about the astral plane, the nature of death and life. About our past, about all kinds of things. I could never just look at the stars.

[Mac]

I know we've talked about it, but.

[Jared Carter]

Now I can, Mack. I can see the stars and the moon and the cicada shells.

[Mac]

I'm glad to hear it, bud. But why? What happened?

[Jared Carter]

I don't know, Mac. Like I said, you took me there, left me, and then I came back to the station. That's it.

[Mac]

Okay.

[Jared Carter]

Only.

[Mac]

Only what?

[Jared Carter]

Something didn't come back with me. A feeling. A feeling that if I messed up, everything was going to fall apart. For so long, I've been giving people something that I didn't have. Peace and comfort. But when I was walking back, that feeling was gone. And that feeling had been the biggest feeling for so long that when it was suddenly gone, I felt like I had the freedom to look at a mesquite tree and to examine a cicada shell. And to kneel down and give a bark scorpion a little scratch. And to look at the stars.

[Mac]

Maybe we should go ask Weiwei what happened.

[Jared Carter]

If you feel like you need to, don't do it on my account. I don't need to know. I'm just glad it happened. Mack, what's your favorite star?

[Mac]

Umm. That one.

[Jared Carter]

Oh. What do you like about it?

[Mac]

I like how it's. But there ain't no other big stars near it. Just little ones. So that star is kind of like the big strong one, looking out for the tiny ones.

[Jared Carter]

Does your star have a name?

[Mac]

Yep. I call him King Bill.

[Jared Carter]

Nice.

[Mac]

Do you have a favorite?

[Jared Carter]

Not yet, but I'm gonna keep looking.

[Mac]

Alright, I'll let you get to it later, bud.

[Jared Carter]

Mac, wait.

[Mac]

What?

[Jared Carter]

I have something I feel like I need to say to you.

[Mac]

What do you mean? What you got to say?

[Jared Carter]

It's weird. It just popped into my head and I knew I needed to say it to you, but I don't understand what it means.

[Mac]

You're really starting to freak me out, man. You starting a cult or something? Cause Nani might like that, but I don't think that kind of thing is for me.

[Jared Carter]

Mac. Do you want to hear it or not? Um.

[Mac]

Sure, I guess.

[Jared Carter]

Okay.

[Mac]

What is it? What do you have to say?

[Jared Carter]

Our answer is. Is yes.

[Mac]

Really? Really. What does that mean?

[Jared Carter]

I don't know.

[Mac]

I feel compelled to ask. When?

[Jared Carter]

In its own time, Mac. In its own time. Whoa. That's quite the grin.

[Mac]

I don't think I've ever felt this happy before. I don't think I've ever felt this happy. This is the freakiest damn thing that has ever happened to me. I feel like dancing and punching the air and popping balloons and honking a horn and. Why do I feel like this, Tindy?

[Jared Carter]

I don't know.

[Mac]

It's like you spoke to my damn soul. Who? Damn. Let's go celebrate.

[Jared Carter]

What are we celebrating?

[Mac]

The greatest day of my death. You're gonna drink some shack juice.

[Jared Carter]

If you mix it with something and it's like two drops.

[Mac]

Three. Three drops for tendy. Race you inside.

[Jared Carter]

I'll be right there. Oh, hey there. I don't know what it is you did with way, but thank you. I know that I can't just stand out here and look at the stars forever. I know there's work to do, that there's challenges coming. I can feel them. They're just on the horizon. But for now, all I can do is just stand here and soak up some of the things I've been missing for so long. This is a beautiful, sad place. Wait, wait. Yeah. Beautiful and sad. Come on, friend. We're celebrating something and you have to join us. I don't know what that means, but if it was no, just know that I'm not taking no for an answer. Come on, let's do.

[Jeremy]

Baby toy store. Jeremy's the coolest dog of all. And if they cannot see it, they're not looking hard at all.

[Nani]

Doug.

[Cash]

What?

[Nani]

Doug. Shh. Be quiet. It's me.

[Jeremy]

Cash. What are you doing here? I didn't hear a plane land.

[Nani]

I didn't Come with the plane, Doug.

[Jeremy]

Cash, if you don't mind, my name is Jeremy.

[Nani]

Now, that's going to take some getting used to, but I'll do my best.

[Jeremy]

Jeremy is so glad you're here, Cash. But seeing as you are hiding behind a dumpster, I can't help but be a little worried.

[Nani]

That's kind of you, Jeremy. I'm not saying you should be worried, but I am in a dangerous situation. I'm looking for someone. His name is Olenus. He's from the 32nd sphere.

[Jeremy]

The industrial sphere.

[Nani]

That's right. I need to find him and I think he might be here. But I'm going to need your help getting to him.

[Jeremy]

Jeremy, what is it that's so dangerous about this person? Cash, how can Jeremy help?

[Nani]

I just need to talk to him without him knowing where I am. I'll need some audio equipment. A microphone, a speaker maybe.

[Jeremy]

Cash, you got me worried. You can't even be in the same room as this person. Is he gonna hurt a Doug? Are we all in danger here? We should get Sphere Mover Doug.

[Nani]

No, no, don't get him. I just need to talk to Olenus from afar. And I need to be able to hear him too. Can you help me make that happen? I have no idea where to start.

[Jeremy]

It sounds like you need a set of walkie talkies. One for you, one for him.

[Nani]

No, we can't have anyone getting near him. We have to find a way to do it without initiating contact.

[Jeremy]

Where even is he?

[Nani]

If he's here, he's in the theater.

[Jeremy]

For this, we're gonna need a brilliant mind.

[Nani]

Okay.

[Jeremy]

An electronics expert.

[Nani]

Yes.

[Jeremy]

Who's also an audio expert with experience with microphones and speakers. And possibly a soundboard.

[Nani]

Maybe not that complicated.

[Jeremy]

Someone who can recommend a high quality VCR and who has knowledge of emerging cellular phone technology with the best rates and coverage.

[Nani]

Probably not, but maybe so, Cash.

[Jeremy]

Maybe so. We need Radio Shack, Doug.

[Nani]

Where can we find him?

[Jeremy]

RadioShack.

[Jared Carter]

Greetings, traveler. This episode was written, produced and performed by me, Jared Carter. The show is executive produced by by the miraculous Michael Freiberg. Desert Skies will return with chapter 19. Thank you for listening and as always, safe travels. The Fable and Folly network where fiction producers flourish.

[Cash]

Greetings, fans of the esoteric. And welcome to the trailer for Madame Magenta, Sonus Mystica. Hang on. Why am I doing my own trailer? Where will the people want to see their star? My dear, no one can see me, Bernard. This is a podcast. Oh, you know what? I should have that deep voiced chap doing this you know the one. What's his name? Oh, a strange name.

[Mac]

Yes.

[Cash]

Like a fruit. Red pepper.

[Mac]

Yes.

[Cash]

Yes. In a world where something. Something, something. That's the one. Ooh, it's quite sexy. Bernard. Save that for later. I'm not sure I can keep it up. You've never had a problem before. That was a very clever joke.

[Mac]

Yes.

[Cash]

I am a very turgid man. You are. I'm going to make a cup of tea. You do the trailer. Oh, right you are.

[Mac]

In a world.

[Cash]

Earl Grey or normal? Earl Grey, please. In a world where ghosts and angels walk amongst us.

[Mac]

Float.

[Cash]

They float.

[Mac]

Float.

[Cash]

Amongst us stands one woman. Magenta.

[Mac]

Oh, God.

[Cash]

My bloody spirit guide's frozen the milk again. It's gonna have to be iced tea, I'm afraid. Oh, alright, fair enough. Psychic medium.

[Jared Carter]

My throat.

[Cash]

Oh, Magenta. I can't do this anymore. Bernard, you won't get. You're not Adele. Well, actually, interestingly enough, that wasn't nodules, that was an exploding polyp. Oh, God, can you imagine that? Exploding Pollock. Anyway, that's not why I can't do the trailer anymore. Oh, do you mean.

[Mac]

Yes.

[Cash]

The angelic manifestation by the dog bed.

[Mac]

Yes.

[Cash]

Here we go again. What do you want? From the makers of Mockery Manor comes Madame Sonos Mystica for all fans of the esoteric available now, wherever you get podcasts.