Chapter 31 - The Answer She Doesn't Have the Question To

Summary

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Desert Skies – Chapter 31: “The Answer She Doesn’t Have the Question To”

Release Date: July 7, 2026
Host/Performer: Jared Carter (all characters)

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Episode Overview

In this introspective, tension-filled chapter, the regulars at the Desert Skies Astral Plane Fuel and Service Station face off against the Grand Trivia Lizard—an immense, mysterious creature with a dangerous demand and a cosmic riddle. Lily (in her robot frame), Mac, and the rest of the crew scramble to protect each other as the Lizard seeks to forcefully recruit Mac, all while dangling the promise of answers and escape from the astral plane. Secrets and past regrets surface as the stakes, and physical danger, rise.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Grand Trivia Lizard Arrives

[04:13–05:40]

• The Grand Trivia Lizard (a.k.a. Alan) seeks out Lily, directly threatening the bar and its inhabitants.
• Lily, exhibiting both courage and fatalism, insists she’s the safest to confront him, as her soul is not bound by flesh:
  • Lily: “I’m the one in a metal frame. And the one whose soul can move about uninhibited by a body. There’s nothing he can do to me.” [04:57]

2. The Lizard’s Demands and the Cosmic Riddle

[06:20–13:52]

• The Lizard boasts omniscience, claiming to know “everything about you. And a whole lot of other things, too.” [06:26]
• The Lizard confirms he knows the multidimensional code Lily received from the Prime Mover:
  • Lily recites: “Seven, snake, rain, rabbit. 01979mm 113. The gate opens.”
  • Lizard corrects: “Not 113. 115. You think you’re the only one with a photographic memory?” [10:45]
• The crux of the episode: The code isn’t a question, but an answer—he wants Lily to figure out what the question is.
  • “You’ve been trying to answer a question, but the code isn’t the question. It’s the answer to a question.” [11:49]
  • “The answer. She doesn’t have the question to. Lily, only you can ask the right question.” [12:28]
• The Lizard craves facts, using Pokémon as metaphor: “Gotta catch ‘em all… Help me find this fact.” [13:39]

3. The Second Demand: Mac Must Be Surrendered

[13:52–16:56]

• The Lizard’s second demand: turn over Mac (Calvin).
  • “I don’t give two shits about the guy. ...But I know some guys who really want me to get him. And I have a vested interest in keeping them happy.” [15:31]
  • The “Six”—shadowy superiors—are revealed as the real force behind the demand for Mac.
  • Lily, refusing: “He’s not going with you, Alan.” [16:10]

4. Lily’s Attempt to Influence the Lizard

[22:41–26:15]

• The crew scrambles for solutions: Lily attempts to “influence” the Lizard by entering his mind.
  • Inside his psyche, Helen tries to reason with him, leveraging his lost connections—and questioning his motivations:
    • “Kito misses you. That’s a fact. She always loved to see you in that tree.” [24:19]
    • Lizard admits: “Because the unknown is terrifying. When I have all the facts, I can stop being afraid. You can’t control what you don’t understand, Lily.” [26:41]

5. Showdowns and Sacrifice

[27:19–33:51]

• Extended scenes of confrontation: The Fisher brothers (giant, kindly bears) arrive to defend their friends.
  • Grand Trivia Lizard, asserting dominance: “I was small once...So I grew. I’m bigger than everything. Understand this. I’m the only giant allowed here.” [27:51]
• Lily and Mac stage a desperate escape, but the Lizard easily overtakes them.
• Mac surrenders himself to the Lizard to save his friends:
  • Lily: “Seriously, Mac, I’m not okay with this.”
  • Mac: “I don’t think there’s another way. We’re beat. Just for now, though. It’s gonna be okay, Cash.” [33:34]

6. Climax: Acceptance and Consumption

[33:51–34:30]

• Mac allows himself to be picked up by the Lizard—who, with chilling disinterest, prepares to swallow him:
  • Grand Trivia Lizard: “I don’t. That’s why I’m gonna swallow you. I can’t have you trying to escape. You’re safer in my stomach.” [33:56]
  • Mac: “That’s a fact. Thank you for listening.” [34:16]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Lily’s Fatalism & Snark:
  “Just stay here. I’ll be right back. …I feel emasculated.” [05:09]
• Lizard’s Fact Addiction:
  “Cold hard facts are what make sense of existence.” [13:13]
  “Sloths can hold their breath longer than dolphins can. That’s a fact.” [23:32]
• On Fear & Control:
  Grand Trivia Lizard: “Because the unknown is terrifying. When I have all the facts, I can stop being afraid.” [26:41]
• Comic Relief – Fishers:
  “A bear, a robot, and now a giant gecko? Brother, I has no idea.” [18:49]
• Closing Irony:
  Mac, about being eaten: “Dude, you realize what this means?”
  Lizard: “I’m screwed.”
  Mac: “That’s a fact.” [34:15]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• The Lizard confronts Lily: 04:13–05:40
• Exchange about the riddle/code: 09:08–13:52
• Demand for Mac, reveal of “The Six”: 13:52–16:56
• Lily’s mind entry, Lizard’s fears exposed: 22:41–26:15
• Showdown with bears, Mac’s surrender: 27:19–34:16

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Summary & Engagement

Chapter 31 deepens the metaphysical themes of “Desert Skies,” blending cosmic puzzle-box storytelling with character-driven sacrifice and humor. The Grand Trivia Lizard is both frightening and oddly pitiable, his omniscience masking a deep existential terror. Lily faces shame, regret, and powerlessness; Mac steps up as the self-sacrificing friend—even as the Lizard’s strange quest for “the answer without a question” puts everyone’s fate in peril.

This chapter is a turning point—part mystery, part psychological duel, part monster movie—delivered with Desert Skies’ signature mix of pathos, dark humor, and astral absurdity.

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For newcomers and longtime fans alike, this episode is both a heart-in-throat thriller and a philosophical cipher. The answer may be in hand, but no one knows what the question is—a dilemma that is as much about purpose, guilt, and hope as it is about facts.

Transcript

[Jared Carter]

Jared here. I live in the desert, the actual desert. It's hot right now. I need clothes that are summer friendly and that's why I look to Quince for affordable products that fit this and every season. Friends quints has 100% European linen pants and shirts that start as low as $34 and are so soft and breathable. Everything they sell is priced 50 to 80% lower than similar brands. They work with ethical factories and cut out the middleman. So you're getting great quality at a great price without brand markups. And it's not just shirts and pants. I'm wearing one of their belts right now. I love this one from Quint's because it's so comfy and such high quality. And I'm a big fan of candles and my experience with theirs has been great. Coastal dune smells so nice. Makes the whole house smell amazing. I've been burning it a little every day. Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quint.com DesertSkies for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com DesertSkies for free Shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com DesertSkies Edgar said to the interviewer

[Mac]

he was convinced that the thing out there wasn't a vault.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Yeah, I know what he thought.

[Mac]

Dr. Edgar's didn't think it was designed to keep things out.

[Lily]

I know what he thought.

[Mac]

He thought it was designed to keep something in.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Do you even understand the difficulty trying

[Lily]

to keep a base like fathom at the bottom of the ocean from killing

[Mac]

everyone in it on a daily basis? Oh, go on everyone hold on to something. I think whatever is on the other side of that door out there, it's not friendly. I think it's trying to get out. That, my friend, is a dire combination. That's a bad sign. Get out of the door.

[Lily]

Spreading like some kind of technological contagion. We can either stop it here or

[Mac]

watch the world burn. Fathom the first season of Derelict. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or learn [e-mail].

[Jared Carter]

Hi friends. I'm glad to see all your smiling faces in my mind. Does that sound creepy? Welcome to chapter 31. The answer she doesn't have the question to before today's episode, I want to say a huge thanks to the following new members of Club 86. Christy Ray Avonlea, Jack Amalia Kit, Rick Johnson, Cameron Nicephore, the October Boy Daniel Romagno, Frank De La Rosa Anchovy. I love anchovies. Victor Spencer Brit Nico Larue Going Animus Alex the dm Emma Troutman, Lucy and Disguy Kashten Demski Jared Cross. Fantastic first name Jake from State Farm and Graveyard. Love you guys. Love the names. Club 86 is a great way to support the show. Depending on the tier you get everything from ad free episodes to exclusive merch. Multiple bonus series including two new series that are now releasing including the five part Meanwhile Back at the Station and episodes of Astral Plane FM which will release between every main episode forever and all time. Or until season three ends or I get hit by a Buick Skylark when I'm crossing the road. Just visit patreon.com desertskies to join. That's patreon.com desertskies or you can find the link in the show notes and that's a fact. Nom nom nom. I hope you enjoy the show. This episode was made by a human for humans and coyotes. For the best listening experience, headphones and human made art are recommended.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You know, it's funny, I don't usually go looking for contestants. I prefer to let them come to me. But I have a vested interest in your success. I know you're in there. Come out. Let's talk.

[Mac]

What do we do? Going out there seems like a stupid idea.

[Jared Carter]

It could be dangerous.

[Mac]

Cash.

[Lily]

How could he know?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Please come out. I'd hate to have to crush your cute little bar.

[Helen]

So. He's an asshole.

[Lily]

Guys, stay here. Let me talk to him.

[Mac]

No way. You're not going out there alone.

[Lily]

Mac, I'm not in danger. I'm the one in a metal frame. And the one whose soul can move about uninhibited by a body. There's nothing he can do to me.

[Mac]

Oh yeah?

[Lily]

Just stay here. I'll be right back. What'd he say?

[Mac]

He says the bar has a hibernation den underneath. He wants everyone to move down there.

[Lily]

Guys, go, please. It'll be easier for me to talk with him if I'm not worried that he's going to crush you.

[Mac]

Alright. I feel emasculated.

[Lily]

Aw, that's so cute. Come on, let's go to the den and you can arm wrestle some bears.

[Mac]

And I'll bet you I win.

[Lily]

I bet you will. Come on, Nani.

[Mac]

You're the best.

[Lily]

I know. Good luck, Cash. Thanks, Nani. Here goes.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, wow. So you're back in the cash about frame.

[Lily]

How do you know so much about us?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Sweetheart, I know everything about you. And a whole Lot of other things, too. Rumor has it you know a bit about me.

[Lily]

Yes, but not much.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Well, you're not gonna learn a whole lot about me right now. I'm a little shy. And private.

[Lily]

Why are you so big?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

See? I just told you. I'm not interested in sharing at the moment.

[Lily]

Why are you here?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I have something you need. You have something I need? Go ahead, ask me. I know you want to.

[Lily]

Do you truly know how to traverse time and space?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Seawa quatle. She told you I'm a liar.

[Narrator (We Fix Space Junk Trailer)]

How?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

She, above all people, can say that I'm not a liar. So I'm gonna level with you. Do I know how to traverse time and space? In a way. But to actually go from here to, say, Paris, March 17, 1731? No, I don't know how to do that yet. But I've been so close to figuring it out for such a long time. You look disappointed.

[Lily]

I had hoped.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, Lily. You really want to give life another go, huh?

[Lily]

Don't say my name so loud. How do you know my name?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I'm the grand trivia lizard, and I love a good fact. Your name is Lily, and that name's a fact. Just like Oliver and Stella and Calvin are facts. I know everything about you.

[Lily]

Please keep it down.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, yeah, that's right. You like keeping secrets, don't you, Lily? Like, oh, I don't know. Like how you haven't told them that it's your fault they're dead.

[Lily]

I swear, if you.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You'll what? Shoot me with your little laser finger girlfriend? I will crush your robot frame, and I will eat your sick skylark. Your astral body's still in the trunk. It'll be like the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

[Lily]

What do you want from me?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Two things, actually. First, I'd like for you to play my game. You like trivia? Of course you do. Who doesn't now? No. I need you to finish your little astral quest first.

[Lily]

Why?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

So you can win my trivia game? Nobody's ever won first place. You know her, Stella. She came close. She came so close. She tried so hard.

[Lily]

How do we win?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

It's easy. Collect a bunch of facts that I don't already know and come tell them to.

[Nom Nom Sound]

To me.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

The juicier, the better.

[Lily]

That's it? That's how we win?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

No, that's just the price of entry. Stella has given me more astral facts than anyone. I gave her one of my scales as a little prize. Hurt like hell. She's really quite the Explorer, isn't she? Of course. That makes sense, right? Lily, to win first prize, you only have to answer the answer. That's it?

[Lily]

Answer the answer? What does that even mean?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Before you woke up on the physical plane, before you even confronted Olenus and saved your friends in that cavern, the Prime Mover found you and gave you a message.

[Lily]

That message was private.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Nothing is private with me. Lily. Do you remember what he told you?

[Lily]

Yes.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Say it.

[Lily]

I don't want to.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Come on, we both know. I already know. Just say it.

[Lily]

Seven, snake, rain, rabbit. O1979mm 113. The gate opens.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Nice try. Not 113. 115. You think you're the only one with a photographic memory?

[Lily]

Wow. I'm so impressed.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You should be. What does it mean? Lily, you're smart. Surely you have theories.

[Lily]

Even if I did, I wouldn't share them with you.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Now, see, that's foolish. You need my help. If you want to get home, if you want to make things right, we're

[Lily]

going to find the Gate by ourselves. And we're gonna go through it. End of story.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

The location of the gate is just one part of the puzzle.

[Lily]

How would you know?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Because I have the other piece. Without it, you can't go home. Please, Lily. I've spent so long trying to uncover the solution to this backwards riddle.

[Lily]

How? The Prime Mover only just told me a relatively short while ago.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Never mind, Hal.

[Lily]

So if I find the answer to this riddle.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

No, no, no, that's the thing. You've been thinking of it all wrong. You've been trying to answer a question, but the code isn't the question. It's the answer to a question.

[Lily]

What question?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Exactly.

[Lily]

That's the answer that makes no sense. Wouldn't the question just be, what does the code mean?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You would think, but no.

[Lily]

What makes you say that?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Because we keep tabs on the Prime Mover when we can. Long ago, we tracked him to the 32nd sphere. He left a mysterious note in the library. It was the code. And underneath, it simply said, an invitation. The answer. She doesn't have the question. To Lily, only you can ask the right question. I can't begin to imagine why. It's just a fact.

[Lily]

Nom, nom, nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You've been asking, what does it mean? But that's not it. Seven, snake, rain, rabbit. Zero 1979mm 115. The gate opens. It's the answer. To what question? Figure it out and I'll help you get home.

[Lily]

This is so confusing.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, Lily, it's only confusing because we don't have all the facts. Cold hard facts are what make sense of existence. There is a show on the physical plane called Pokemon.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

And it has a theme song.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact too.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Num num num.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

And in the English version of the theme song, it says, gotta catch em all.

[Lily]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Now you get it, Lily. That's what we're doing together. All the facts. Gotta catch em all. Help me find this fact. That's all I ask.

[Lily]

All you ask? You said you needed two things from me.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, right. Give me Calvin.

[Lily]

What?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Cal. Mac. Give me Mac.

[Lily]

No. I know his name. Give him to you. You have to be joking.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, little lady, I assure you I'm not. I'm in need of that man. You're gonna give him to me?

[Lily]

Then I'm certainly not going to help you find the question you're looking for.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

See, I thought you would say that, you unreasonable robot. I said to myself, she's gonna say that. And that's probably a fact. Now you said it to me and you confirmed that it is 100% a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

NOM nom nom.

[Lily]

Why do you even want him? Your Seekers, the Bcocks, they tried to convince him that helping you was what he needed. They made him feel terrible about himself, and now this.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, I'm sorry about that. It's a method that usually works.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

But the one that calls herself Bad Mother, she's a real asshole.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom, nom nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Yep. So making him hate himself didn't work. But that doesn't matter. Just give him to me, huh?

[Lily]

Why do you want him to join your fact finders?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Seekers.

[Lily]

Fine. Seekers. Mac isn't stupid by any means, but he's also not the most detail oriented person. Except when it comes to the ratio of chicken to waffles in a burrito. Why not Tendi? Why not Nani? Not that I'd let you take them. I'm just confused, okay?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You know, Lily, you can always trust me. The truth.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I'll always give you the facts. Look, I'm gonna level with you. I don't give two shits about the guy. You're right. He's not secret material.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

But I know some guys who really want me to get him. And I have a vested interest in keeping them happy.

[Lily]

The six men. Kito saw them when you brought her to your cavern.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Yep.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

They call themselves the Six. That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom nom nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Stupid name. They want Calvin. And you're gonna give him to me to give to them. Don't worry. I'll give him back eventually.

[Lily]

He's not going with you, Alan.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Don't call me that.

[Lily]

That's who you are. A curious gecko who loves learning How. Is this what you became?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You'd be smart to mute yourself.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Lily.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You're gonna make me mad.

[Lily]

You have no right to be. You're the one making outrageous demands. Now I'm mad.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Okay, okay. Cool your processors. Look, go back inside and talk to to your friends. I'm not making demands. I'm offering a trade. You give me the little guy, help me find the question, and I'll give you the grand prize. Well, I'll share it with you. You can't traverse planes without it. Come on. Let's help each other out.

[Lily]

I'll show you the courtesy of talking to him. But don't expect him to go with you. He's not about to leave his friends.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Tell him if he doesn't, I might just crush this bar and squish every everyone inside. That would suck. And that's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom nom, nom.

[Lily]

You're psychotic.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

No, I'm ambitious. And negotiating from a place of strength. You know, like you and your cash units did when Xochiliki tried to destroy the station. We all have needs cash. And we do what we have to to meet them. Now go talk with your friends. I'll give you a little time.

[Lily]

Cash? Are you okay?

[Jared Carter]

What happened? What did he say?

[Lily]

Well, I'll give you the short version.

[Osborn]

Well, brother, did you not feel a great pounding upon the ground? What of it? I thought maybe youse was doing some jumping jacks. I don't exercise. There's no point. I true that, brother. I think we has a problem that might require our intervention. But first, I need your keen eyes. Attends me outside. Ay, brother, I come see there, Osborne. There's on the horizon that largely silhouette. Ay, brother, I sees it. What's you make of it, Osborn? Oh, dog. I think it's a lizard. A lizard? Sure it's not a dragon? No, I've never sees a dragon, but I've seen lizards. I believe that's one of what kinds, brother? Well, a bit like a collared forest gecko. But different sames. But different sames. But different brother. Well, looks like he's at the highway close to the Bear's bar. Are you thinking we should intervene? I think we has to, brother. Aye, Dodd, what's happening here? A bear, a robot, and now a giant gecko? Brother, I has no idea. Well, at least we has a new tale to tell the fishies. Hey, brother. The tale of the lizard tail.

[Jared Carter]

The trailer that you're about to hear is for an amazing and award winning podcast that I love called We Fix Space Junk. It's the story of Kilner, a smuggler, and Samantha, a socialite refugee who are in over their heads in debt. Their main aim in life is to survive long enough, just long enough, to reach the next job. Jobs which may or may not require straying outside the confines of the law. They traverse the galaxy together while encountering strange beings and taking on big challenges. Whatever it takes to stay alive. The characters, the story, the acting, it's all so wonderfully done. And I know you're gonna love it. There's absolutely a reason why this show has gotten over 2 million downloads. Season 4 just started, so it's a great time to catch up. We Fix Space Junk. Find it wherever you listen to podcast.

[Narrator (We Fix Space Junk Trailer)]

When Kilner accepted the job of smuggling escaped heiress Samantha Trapp across the galaxy, she expected the job to be over and done with quickly. But now they're stuck with each other and they have a job to do.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Think of Automnicon as a sort of student loan company. You take a loan from them, and then they own you until you've paid it off with interest.

[Narrator (We Fix Space Junk Trailer)]

We think Space Junk is a sci fi sitcom from Battlebird Productions featuring traveling by cryo.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Don't worry if you feel like you're drowning.

[Nom Nom Sound]

That's perfect.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Perfectly normal. Wait, what?

[Narrator (We Fix Space Junk Trailer)]

Aliens.

[Lily]

Greetings, visitors.

[Narrator (We Fix Space Junk Trailer)]

AI's dad.

[Mac]

How do I do Air? You're already doing it automatically. Calm down.

[Narrator (We Fix Space Junk Trailer)]

And of course, thrilling and exciting missions in outer space. We Fix Space Junk is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else you get your podcasts. Season four releasing now.

[Lily]

And that's it. That's what he said.

[Mac]

Why in the hell does everyone want me so bad? I mean, I know I'm funny and good looking and strong and a great singer, but man, this is weird.

[Lily]

I'm sorry, Mac.

[Mac]

But you know, why don't you. Cash.

[Lily]

I'm sorry, Mac, I don't actually. I promise that's true.

[Mac]

I believe you, Cash. We're at a major disadvantage here.

[Jared Carter]

Maybe we can all go out reason with him.

[Lily]

I don't think we should risk it.

[Mac]

I told you, friend, I no longer have my powers.

[Lily]

Yes, you do.

[Jared Carter]

A technicality.

[Mac]

I don't have the ability to use

[Jared Carter]

my Powers at this time. Satisfied, my dear?

[Lily]

I hate this. I hate feeling powerless. Look, I've obviously met him before that scaled back in the cavern's my prize. Maybe he and I have some rapport that I can take advantage of. Please don't, Nani. He's cold blooded. Rapport isn't in his nature. Then what do we do? Sneak out.

[Mac]

We're not leaving you here, friend.

[Jared Carter]

Not alone.

[Mac]

Cash.

[Lily]

Yeah. Tendi.

[Jared Carter]

You don't need a body to move around, right? Have you ever hitched a ride in someone else?

[Lily]

Yes, actually. Once. On the physical plane. I used someone to help me find the sisters.

[Jared Carter]

By controlling them?

[Lily]

I wouldn't say controlling. Influencing. It's an interesting story for another time.

[Jared Carter]

Do you think you could influence the grand Trivia lizard?

[Lily]

I. I don't know. Maybe. It's worth a shot.

[Jared Carter]

Then I say go for it.

[Mac]

Time.

[Jared Carter]

The lizard brain.

[Lily]

Alright. Wish me luck.

[Mac]

More like wish you yuck. Brains are gross.

[Lily]

Maybe yours is.

[Mac]

Maybe.

[Lily]

I hate to leave this conversation, but I gotta go before he destroys this place.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

A group of flamingos is called a flamboyance.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Some cats are allergic to humans.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Num.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Sloths can hold their breath longer than dolphins can.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Bananas are berries. Strawberries are not.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

A cloud can way over a million pounds.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom nom nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Lily stood up for Oliver in grade school even though she was really small.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Sharks existed before trees.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

And what's this? Lily's soul has entered my brain. That's a shitty fact. I'm in trouble. What do you think you're doing?

[Helen]

Helen? I think I know what happened.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I'm not Alan. I'm the Grand Trivia lizard.

[Helen]

You might call yourself that, but it's not really who you are. You're Alan. That's a fact. I thought you loved facts.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I do love facts.

[Helen]

Kito misses you. That's a fact. She always loved to see you in that tree. And you loved her. And that little island on the ocean sphere. That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I did love it. I did love Keto. And she's smart and strong.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Helen]

You spent too much time hanging out in the interstate, didn't you?

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Helen]

And it's not only warped your body, it's warped your mind.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Yes, I think that's a fact too.

[Helen]

You don't have to do what the Six, whoever they are. You don't have to do what they say.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Yes, I do, Lily.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Helen]

Who are they, Alan? Who are the six?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I don't want to tell you that.

[Helen]

Are they the Superiors?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I wouldn't tell you.

[Helen]

Because they told you not to?

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

Yes,

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

because they told me not to.

[Helen]

Why do you listen to them?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Because, Lily, they promised to help me get to Earth. They promised to help me to get there so I could get so many more facts. I'm big.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Humans are small, and that's a fact. I could rule them. I could rule this plane. I could set up systems for eternal information delivery straight to my ears. I could master everything. And then I'd have all the facts. Wouldn't that be wonderful, Lily?

[Helen]

Alan, as new things happen, facts are always being created. You'll never be satisfied.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

But I can eat those facts for all my days. Did you know they have days on the physical plane? Of course you did. Literal days. Amazing. I want to experience that. I want to see sunshine.

[Helen]

No, you can't. Astral beings don't fare well on the physical plane. It's torture for them. Believe me, I know.

[Lily]

Maybe.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Maybe it'll be different for me. That's a possibility. Yep. Yep.

[Helen]

Helen, do you even know why you

[Lily]

want all these facts?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Because they're tasty.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Helen]

But why else?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You need to get out of my head, Lily.

[Helen]

What is it about facts that's making

[Lily]

you do these things?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I. I want facts. Because the unknown is terrifying. When I have all the facts, I can stop being afraid. You can't control what you don't understand, Lily.

[Helen]

That's not how it works. What's happening?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I'm being confronted.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom, nom, nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I'm confronting you because should I fight or fly? Should I listen or attack? Should I.

[Lily]

What is going on? Get out of my head. I have to go. What's happening? I don't know. Stay here.

[Mac]

I don't know about you guys, but I'm done just waiting around while Cash faces whatever the hell this is all by herself.

[Lily]

Say I am.

[Jared Carter]

Agreed. All right, let's do this.

[Osborn]

We only want the speaks with you.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You're the Fishers. That's a fact. You, your brothers.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom nom, nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You're giants. And that's a fact I can't tolerate.

[Osborn]

What in the world is he talking about? We's not a threat. We just has a vested interest in ensuring the safety of our fellow forest citizens.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I was small Once existing on an ocean sphere full of gigantic sea creatures. That was scary. So I grew. I'm bigger than all of them. I'm bigger than everything. Understand this. I'm the only giant allowed here.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Go back to your fishery.

[Lily]

They're completely harmless, Alan.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Stop calling me that. I'm not Alan. I'm the grand trivia lizard. And you will cower before me.

[Mac]

Holy shit.

[Lily]

He's so big. What are you guys doing here? I told you not to.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

There you are. I've been looking for you. I tried to get you to come along willingly. And you know what? I'm willing to give you one more chance. I'm a gracious gecko. Call off your giants and come with me.

[Mac]

They're not my giants. And no, I'm not going with you. Are you out of your goddamn mind?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Maybe a little. Is that a fact? Doesn't matter. Come with me. You'll be happy you did.

[Mac]

Why is everyone obsessed with me?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, get over yourself. You're not that special. You're just a man. A man is just made up of facts. And I know all of the facts that make you up to me. You're nothing but stale. A stale fact. But your staleness is of no consequence. There's people who are looking for you. And I told them I could get you. So get in my hand.

[Mac]

Dude, did you eat a bad cricket or something? You're trippin'.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, always with the sharp retorts. So boring. Well, I guess that's it. We'll do this the hard way.

[Osborn]

Not without going through Zos. We don't like bullies around here, do we, brother? No, brother, we don't.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, dawd. Orsborn, you're not heroes. Never have been. Why start now? For all or forever. You've done the job a television could do. Entertainment, Entertaining. What do you call them? You call them fishies.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom, nom nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You tell them the same old stories time and time again. You are simply the most replaceable creatures on the astral plane. Anyone could do your job.

[Osborn]

We don't care. We takes pride in our work.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Is that a fact? Well, listen, fellas. I'd love to stick around and chat, but no time. I gotta grab and go.

[Osborn]

You ain't grabbing nobodies. Especially one of those we counts among our friends.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

What's that stupid thing you guys say all the time? A tail for a tail, a tail for a tail.

[Osborn]

I. A tail for a tail.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Well, I'll tell you what. Here's a tale for you.

[Lily]

Oh my God.

[Mac]

Did he really just.

[Narrator (We Fix Space Junk Trailer)]

Just.

[Jared Carter]

Who in the hell do you think you are?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Oh, hello, attendant. Who in the hell do I think I am? What a strange question. We both know who I am.

[Nom Nom Sound]

But you.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

You have no clue who you are.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

Are.

[Jared Carter]

I'm the attendant.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

An attendant.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's a fact.

[Nom Nom Sound]

Nom nom nom.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

But that's just a stupid title. It doesn't really mean anything. Titles aren't who we are. Unless your title is Grand Trivia. Lizard. Would you like to know who you are? Tendee? Would you like to know just how remarkably screwed up your fam. Wait, where's Mac?

[Jared Carter]

Don't worry about Mac. You were gonna tell me something. Say it.

[Mac]

I don't care. It doesn't change. Shit. I can't believe you picked me up without asking. Our friends are back there with that maniac.

[Lily]

Mac, he's after you, not them. It would take nothing for him to grab you and then run away.

[Mac]

Where are you taking me anyway?

[Lily]

We're going to the car and we'll grab it. Swing in and save the others. And then maybe we can outrun this thing.

[Mac]

Maybe? What do you mean maybe? It's a 1986 Buick Skylark. Hell yeah, we can. Are you kidding? What about the tires?

[Lily]

Nani said the bears got the new ones and replaced them. This should be as easy as cash. Yeah.

[Mac]

Mac, he's gaining on us.

[Lily]

Oh, shit. Hold on, Mac. We're about to go through the interstate.

[Mac]

Can we hide there?

[Lily]

He knows that place better than anyone. We'd be in real danger if he caught us in there. We're gonna go through

[Mac]

the desert. Sphere. God, I missed you. You're so normal.

[Lily]

Get in the car, Mack. We can maneuver past him.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Are you seriously trying to outrun me? Do you guys have any idea just how small you are compared to me?

[Lily]

If you take him, we are not helping you find the question.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

If I take him, which I am, that's a fact. I'm not giving him back to you unless you give me what I want. There's really no scenario here where you win and I lose.

[Mac]

Cash.

[Lily]

I don't know what to do. Mac, he has us.

[Mac]

Should I just go with him then?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Come on. I'll take good care of him.

[Mac]

You guys just find me when you're done doing all your exploring and adventuring and whatnot. Alright, you asshole. Put your hand down and I'll climb up.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Okay then. Now hurry up and come here, little guy, or I crush that car with her body in it. Tear her apart. Go back and step on your friends, and then I'll swallow you.

[Lily]

No, you're not gonna.

[Mac]

Cash, look at me. I'm okay. Okay? If I really was a bad man, then maybe I gotta do stuff like this to make up for it.

[Lily]

Seriously, Mac, I'm not okay with this.

[Mac]

I don't think there's another way. We're beat. Just for now, though. It's gonna be okay. Cash.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Are we done now?

[Mac]

Yeah, we're done. Do what you're gonna do.

[Fact Affirmation Voice]

That's it.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

Hop on. Up we go. Comfortable?

[Mac]

What in the hell do you care?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I don't. That's why I'm gonna swallow you. I can't have you trying to escape. You're safer in my stomach.

[Lily]

No.

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I wonder how crunchy you are.

[Lily]

Wait, wait.

[Mac]

Oh. Dude. You realize what this means?

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

I'm screwed.

[Mac]

That's a fact. Thank you for listening.

[Jared Carter]

Listening to chapter 31. This episode was written, produced and performed by me, Jared Carter. The show is executive produced by Michael Freiberg, and that's a fact. Nom, nom, nom. A special thank you to early listeners Jared Hines and Kelly Cusack for their help with continuity and quality checks. Desert Skies will return with chapter 32, a cacophony of creative thought. Until then, safe travels,

[Grand Trivia Lizard / Alan]

The fable and

[Maria Kennedy]

folly network where fiction producers flourish. Hello, Maria Kennedy from Hero Trackers, here to tell you about a special report we've been working on at Hero Track Media. With the help of my producer, Shana, we are going to reveal the life story of a mysterious hero that, as far as we can tell, has never been covered by a media outlet before. Subscribe to this podcast feed to learn more about this hero and the strange circumstances surrounding their life and career and how they might be connected to your favorite heroes. Coming soon from Hero Track Media. Vigil

[Vigil Narrator]

Vigil Season 1. An audio fiction superhero thriller in 10 parts from All In Productions. Featuring Hayley Sanfilippo as Maria Kennedy and Adam Kutashat as Vigil. Subscribe or follow to make sure you're the first to know about Vigil.