Last Call Before First Flight

Summary

Detox Retox with Tom Schwartz
Episode: Last Call Before First Flight
Date: April 15, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this succinct, heartfelt, and candid airport episode, Tom Schwartz grapples with missed-flight anxiety, the magic of "airport rules," and the striking impermanence of life. Schwartz interviews a seasoned airport bartender, ruminates on parental mortality, pays respects to a late friend, and explores the fragility and beauty of human connection—all with a laid-back, conversational tone that oscillates between humor and vulnerability. It's part therapy session, part love letter to airports, bartenders, and anyone navigating transitions, losses, and fleeting moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Airport Anxiety: The Ritual of Travel

[01:09 – 03:34]

• Tom dramatizes his frantic rush to the airport, humorously self-soothing with reminders like “I have TSA pre check and clear. Also, you're not checking a bag. So chill out.”
• He celebrates the “breakfast beer” at his airport bar: “Let’s have one of the best beers known to mankind—humankind. The breakfast beer. Oh yeah.”
• Declares the airport his “happy place” and jokingly transitions to airplane mode.

Notable Quote:

"You gotta lock in. Okay, okay, okay. We're good. We're good. Traffic wasn't that bad. We made it with time to spare, Schmoitzy. ... It's time to engage in airplane mode. Wait, this is gonna be a short episode."
— Tom Schwartz [01:09-02:50]

2. Interview with the Airport Bartender: Therapy at the Terminal

[03:34 – 08:25]

A. The Bartender as Therapist and Traffic Controller

• Tom chats with “Jane Doe,” an airport bartender, who describes her role as “literally everything here”—therapist, bartender, even air traffic control for nervous flyers.

Quote:

“You have to wear many hats as a bartender in general, but especially for the anxious flyers out there.”
— Jane Doe [03:59]

B. Managing Traveler Anxiety

• Jane says the secret is listening, not just pouring drinks:

"You just listen because a lot of people do just want to talk about their anxieties. And that's what I'm here to listen for."
— Jane Doe [04:14]

• Tom observes that, “Most people just want a shoulder not to cry on, but an ear to lend, right?”

— Tom Schwartz [04:26]

C. Social Behavior and Drink Trends

• Discusses the impact of digital devices: socializing vs. “headphones in, head down.” Jane describes a 50/50 split—some travelers want to chat, others want to be left alone.
• Most popular airport drinks: mimosas & Bloody Marys in the morning, espresso martinis later in the day. “Espresso martinis—they're so hot right now.”

— Jane Doe [05:50]

D. No Judgment Zone & Airport Etiquette

• Bartenders, per Jane, don’t judge drinking habits (“...pretty much rules are just kind of like non existent in here as far as drinking. You want to drink at 6 o’clock, I got you, bud.” [06:30]).
• Etiquette tips: look up from your phone when ordering, offer a bit of human connection—a hello, a check-in.

  "When you're ordering a drink, have the human decency to look up at the bartender in the eyes and say, hello, how's your day?... Sometimes it feels so transactional."

— Tom Schwartz [07:46]

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3. Magic of Airport Drinking & “Airport Rules”

[08:28 – 10:50]

• Tom waxes poetic on the unique culture of airport bars. No one judges the unusual hours or personal quirks.
• Reminisces about “tying one off” and makes fun of the arbitrary respectability of certain morning drinks.

Quote:

“You can come in six in the morning, order a double JMO ginger, bust out a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and just take a nap on the floor afterwards and no one will bat an eye. This is a safe place. No judgment zone, no hater zone. ... Airport rules. Such a beautiful thing.”
— Tom Schwartz [08:41]

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4. Valley Recap (Brief)

[10:50 – 12:50]

• Short aside mentioning the new season of "The Valley" and a specific scene about post-baby intimacy. Tom finds it both hilarious and real, empathizes with young parents, and affirms the importance of empathy for mothers.

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5. Loss, Relationships, and Fleeting Bonds

[12:51 – 17:00]

• Tom pays tribute to David, a beloved bartender from West Hollywood’s Bayou, recently passed away. He contemplates the intimacy and distance of bartender-patron relationships.
• Reflects on the authenticity and depth possible even in “transactional and fleeting” connections.

Quote:

"It’s weird. I don’t know. I can’t give a eulogy for someone I barely know, but also feel incredibly close with. ... It was authentic, it was real...simultaneously someone I'm always so excited to see and someone I barely even knew. ... This is just a reminder. Show a little more empathy and compassion. Have some more patience, you guys."
— Tom Schwartz [14:26 – 15:30]

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6. Family, Aging, and Role Reversal

[17:00 – 22:00]

• Tom gets personal about helping his aging father, who is now in assisted living and can’t move into the new house Tom built for him:

  “It’s a brutal irony that he can’t move in because he can’t live on his own. ... One minute you’re their baby, you’re in a high chair, and then the next, you’re the one holding the spoon.”

• Describes the heartbreak and humility of watching a once-vital parent fade, and sends solidarity to others in similar situations.

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7. Life by the Numbers: Mortality and Urgency

[22:00 – 23:40]

• Discusses average US lifespan (79 years) and the idea of “breaking life down by summers” to bring urgency and perspective.

  “Let’s just say you’re 30 years old right now... that means you have, what, 50 more summers if you’re really lucky.”

Quote:

"Life comes at you fast, you guys. It really does. ... Do whatever you have to do to remind the people that you love that you love them."
— Tom Schwartz [23:00]

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8. Closing Reflection: Shakespeare on Life’s Stages

[23:40 – 24:20]

• Ends on a meditative note, paraphrasing a quote from Shakespeare’s As You Like It about “second childishness”—the return of dependence in old age.

  "All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players. Last scene of all that ends with strange eventful history. His second childishness and mere oblivion. Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything."

• Tom finds comfort and symmetry in this cycle, encouraging listeners once again to show love.

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Most Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Breakfast beer. Oh yeah. You know what I’m talking about. It’s time to relax. Airplane mode on. ... My happy place.”
  — Tom Schwartz [01:09-02:50]

• “You have to wear many hats as a bartender in general, but especially for the anxious flyers out there.”
  — Jane Doe [03:59]

• “Espresso martinis—they’re so hot right now.”
  — Jane Doe [05:50]

• “You can come in six in the morning, order a double JMO ginger, bust out a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and just take a nap on the floor afterwards and no one will bat an eye.”
  — Tom Schwartz [08:41]

• “I can’t give a eulogy for someone I barely know, but also feel incredibly close with...”
  — Tom Schwartz [14:26]

• “One minute you’re their baby, you’re in a high chair, and then the next, you’re the one holding the spoon.”
  — Tom Schwartz [17:36]

• “Let’s just say you’re 30 years old right now... that means you have, what, 50 more summers if you’re really lucky. ... Break it down by summers or winters or birthdays.”
  — Tom Schwartz [22:44]

• “All the world’s a stage ... Last scene of all that ends with strange eventful history ... His second childishness and mere oblivion. Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.”
  — Shakespeare via Tom Schwartz [23:50]

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Important Timestamps

• [01:09–03:34] – Tom’s pre-flight anxiety & “airport mode” ritual
• [03:34–08:25] – Interview with airport bartender: traveler anxieties & etiquette
• [08:41–10:50] – The beauty of “airport rules” and bar culture
• [12:51–17:00] – Remembrance of David (the Bayou bartender) & reflections on fleeting friendships
• [17:00–22:00] – Caring for aging parents and bittersweet family transitions
• [22:00–24:20] – Breaking life down by summers; Shakespeare on aging and impermanence

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Tone & Style

True to Schwartz’s style, the episode blends humor, vulnerability, and occasional profanity (“I’m in my feels...maybe it’s the beer I’m sipping on...Sorry this is just coming at you guys raw.”), ramping up intimacy by sharing unfiltered thoughts and feelings. It’s equal parts confessional, comedic, and comforting, bringing both lightness and depth to airport drinks and life’s heavier realities.

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Takeaway

A lovingly rambling reflection from the airport bar about anxiety, empathy, growing older, and making the most of the “summers” you get. Schwartz encourages listeners to savor small rituals, acknowledge their feelings, and reach out to those they love—before the next “boarding call.”

Final Message:

“Go hug someone you love. Okay. Bye, guys.”
— Tom Schwartz [24:20]

Transcript

[Narrator/Host]

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[Narrator/Host]

It's now time for your weekly detox with Tom Schwartz.

[Tom Schwartz]

What's that? What the. Oh shit. I overslept. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm not going to make my flight. I'm going to miss my flight. Holy. Okay, you're not gonna miss your flight, Schwartzy. Take a deep breath. You're not gonna miss your flight. You have TSA pre check and clear. Also, you're not checking a bag. So chill out. Fuck. I forgot to brush my teeth. Okay, okay. Kiana taught you not to panic. Okay? I have the holy Trinity. I got my phone, wallet, id, passport. That's four, idiot. Four. So that's a quaternity. Saving a word. Shut up, Brain. You gotta lock in. Okay, okay, okay. We're good. We're good. Traffic wasn't that bad. We made it with time to spare, Schmoitzy. Come on, man. Why did you even spaz out? Let's go to the bar. Elbow up. And let's have one of the best beers known to mankind, humankind. The breakfast beer. Oh yeah. You know what I'm talking about. It's time to relax. Airplane mode on. Time for cruise control, baby. You know what I'm talking about. Brain off. Yeah, man. We made it. We're at the airport. My happy place. It's time to engage in airplane mode. Wait, this is gonna be a short episode. By the way, I love you guys. Before I just kind of rant or venture, how about we check in with the high priest of the terminal? You know what I'm talking about? Our Sky Lounge Therapist, her final boarding call, counselor, whatever. Let's check in with an actual airport bartender. Yeah. Okay. Let's do it,

[Airport Bartender]

guys.

[Tom Schwartz]

I'm here with bartender who's lovely Jane Doe. Have to respect her privacy or anonymity. But can I ask you, do you ever.

[Airport Bartender]

Do you ever feel like more of a bartender or a therapist or, like, air traffic control for first time anxious flyers?

[Narrator/Host]

Oh, I feel like all of them combined roll into one. Yes. I literally. I'm literally everything here.

[Airport Bartender]

You're all.

[Tom Schwartz]

You're.

[Airport Bartender]

You have to be kind of. You have to wear many hats as a bartender in general, but especially for the anxious flyers out there, do you have any, like, secret techniques to quell their anxiety or, like, comfort them?

[Narrator/Host]

Well, my job, you know, liquor. I give them a drink, and that definitely helps some. But you just listen because a lot of people do just want to talk about their anxieties. And that's what I'm here to listen for.

[Tom Schwartz]

Exactly. Most people just want a shoulder not

[Airport Bartender]

to cry on, but an ear to.

[Tom Schwartz]

To lend. Right.

[Airport Bartender]

Do you ever find, especially in airports, as a byproduct or manifestation of, like, their anxiety, that people overshare, especially with a few too many drinks in the system?

[Narrator/Host]

Oh, Lord, yeah. Some of them, they don't even take any drinks to overshare. It just, like, rolls out of them before they even start drinking. So they just let everything loose.

[Airport Bartender]

When are you dropping your memoir? I want to hear all the secrets

[Narrator/Host]

is coming this Christmas.

[Airport Bartender]

Like, in this day and age, when I'm in the airport, I'm usually headphones in, head down, hunched over my screen, waiting for that next rush of dopamine. Are people, generally speaking, more introverted, dialed into, like, their digital universe, or do people still come and chat with you and are people still sociable in the bars?

[Narrator/Host]

I feel like it's a 50, 50 mixture. I do have some of those that don't pull their phone out one bit. They want to talk to you, and I'm here for that. And then you have the other ones that say up their laptop, their phones. They just want their drink and for you to leave them alone. And I'm here for that as well.

[Airport Bartender]

I love that. Very diplomatic. What's the most popular drink at this day and age? A Bloody Mary?

[Tom Schwartz]

Mimosa.

[Narrator/Host]

Oh, goodness. I think it kind of depends on the time of day. If I work mornings, mimosas and bloodies are definitely the way to go. But later in the day, the most popular one has been espresso martinis. I feel like they've Grown over the last couple of years.

[Airport Bartender]

They're so hot right now. Do you like espresso martinis?

[Narrator/Host]

I do like espresso martinis. They give you that little bit of jolt of energy and then they're just, you know, delicious.

[Airport Bartender]

Do you, do you still like, do you like traveling?

[Narrator/Host]

I do like traveling. I don't do it as much as I used to, but yeah, I'm just one of those, I'm not an anxious traveler at all. I get on the plane, I plug my headphones in and I put a show on.

[Tom Schwartz]

Me too.

[Airport Bartender]

It's my happy place. I love airport rules. I never feel safer than when I'm at an airport, which is on the contrary for so many anxious flyers out there. And if you're listening, I empathize with you. Can I ask you, have you ever judged someone based on the drink they've ordered? Can you order a triple if you want it?

[Narrator/Host]

So I, I, my motto is I don't judge in the airport. I mean, pretty much rules are just kind of like non existent in here as far as drinking. You want to drink at 6 o', clock, I got you, bud. I'm here for it. But cannot do triples. Doubles are the max per drink. But I have had people want to do doubles on doubles and I'm like, I can do that for you. I'm so sorry. But, you know, no, there, there's rules, but then there's also not rules. It's kind of like as long as

[Airport Bartender]

you can make it onto your plane, there's airport rules. And we know what those are, by the way. I just want to say thank you for your service and thank you for being comforting in my times of need. I know I've ordered a double and cried at six in the morning at many airports, so I just wanted to say thank you.

[Narrator/Host]

Absolutely. That's what we're all here for. A little bit of everything.

[Airport Bartender]

Thank you so much. Oh, by the way, before we go, any for people out there listening who lack airport etiquette. Any little things that they can avoid to maybe annoy personnel, staff, bartenders, servers.

[Narrator/Host]

Put your phone down, please, when you're ordering a drink. We are people as well. So just some human decency like, like things like that. And then you're walking through the airport, make sure you look up from your phone every once in a while so you don't run into somebody else.

[Airport Bartender]

I was gonna, I was just gonna say that I was gonna end on you guys. When you're ordering a drink, have the, have the human decency to look up at the bartender in the eyes and say, hello, how's your day? Check in with them. You don't have to have. You don't have to figure out their whole life. You don't need to find out their whole life story. But just like a little brief connection, a little human connection before you order the drink. Sometimes it feels so transactional and I get it because everyone's in a rush, they're stressed out and yeah, it's nothing personal against the staff bartenders, but yeah,

[Tom Schwartz]

just show a little love, right?

[Narrator/Host]

Absolutely. You know, we say, hey, how are you doing? All you got to do is say hi and then you can order your drink. Don't just say hey, Dirty martini.

[Airport Bartender]

Well, thank you again for your service. I appreciate you.

[Tom Schwartz]

All right, bye. I love drinking in the airport.

[Airport Bartender]

I do.

[Tom Schwartz]

It's got to be top five best places to drink ever. And I'm tying one off right now. Just a beer, nothing crazy. But that's the beauty of airport rules. Nothing's crazy. You can come in six in the morning, order a double JMO ginger, bust out a bag of cool ranch doritos and just take a nap on the floor afterwards and no one will bat an eye. This is a safe place. No judgment zone, no hater zone. You can have a kid feeling again. Airport rules. Such a beautiful thing. We're gonna do a whole episode on airport rules. By the way, what's your guys favorite drink? I don't love, Listen, I love drinking in airport but I don't love necessarily drinking alone. So I thought maybe it'd be cool if we hung out for a second. Thank you guys for kicking it. What's your go to drink? I mean, a bloody mary and mimosa are probably the most socially acceptable for some reason. I don't know what it is because it's all the same stuff. But like when I come and order a patron and soda at 6:45am I know something about it just seems a little more. It feels a little more heathen. I think I'm judging myself. But anyways, you guys, I certainly am not going to do valley recaps on this show on Detox retox. But are you digging that? The new season? I think it's so good and I'm on it now, so of course I'm partial. It's light, but the stakes are still high. Very raw, very real. Man, I was laughing my ass off at that scene when Lou confided in me that him and Kristen had been intimate for the first time since Having a baby, which is a milestone.

[Airport Bartender]

I just.

[Tom Schwartz]

In that, that's all I had to say, is postmortem sex is really hard. Luke was like, great, now I'm a serial killer and a necrophiliac. Luke, I love you. I know he meant well. I saw a lot of negative feedback online. Like, it's not like the man was feeding for sex, you know, He's a very compassionate man and a great father. He knows that after you give birth, I mean, I can't imagine your hormones are going crazy. You've just incubated a little human being in your belly for nine months. On the verge of madness, gnawing on shaved ice and craving pickles and all kinds of strange. Thanks, my Pikachu. Holler at you. Shout out to all the moms out there. But yeah, just thinking about it, like, if I had to incubate a baby and then squeeze out a nine pound flesh potato out of any orifice, I honestly don't think I would ever have sex again. That'd be it for me. That's a wrap on sex. But I don't know. I will never know what it's like to give birth. But just showing some love and compassion, empathy for all the moms and moms to be out there. We love you. Without you, we wouldn't exist. And yeah, I don't know, man. This isn't going to be a long episode, guys. There's any takeaway, it's just a reminder to go hug the people you love. Your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister. Go show some love. Give him a hug. Just text him, I miss you. I love you. I was thinking about you. I also wanted to do a little, very informal eulogy. I just found out one of my friends at one of my favorite bars in West Hollywood, the Bayou, right across from TomTom. David. He passed away. He passed away. And it's. I don't know, it's weird when someone, you know, you know their face, you consider them a friend. But I've never really seen him from behind, you know, outside of the bar. Anytime we've ever really hung out, you know, there's a bar standing before us and we have a great connection. I asked him about his life, he asked me about mine. Kind of reminds me of a Panama, but just behind the bar. It's weird. I don't know. I can't give a eulogy for someone I barely know, but also feel incredibly close with. David, he's just one of my favorite. You know, he was always there for me with A smile on Jello shots in hand. Don't judge. I know what you're thinking. Schwartzy Jello shots at your big ass age. Yeah, I like jello shots, but only if they're from the bayou and out of a syringe. Okay. I can't have a jello shot feeling. Don't try to take away my whimsy. Don't try to break my stride. But yeah, just. Man, it's so. It feels so stark. Or someone who you only saw through a blurry, happy lens. Big smiles, rounded shots, low lows, high highs. Short term defacto therapist again, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to lend. And it's mostly niceties and small talk, but it was authentic, it was real. It's like, yeah, simultaneously someone I'm always so excited to see and someone I barely even knew. And yeah, just thinking back on some surprisingly magical moments I had with someone in a relationship that was transactional and fleeting, but surprisingly deep at times. Surprisingly deep at times. I just. Yeah. This is just a reminder. Show a little more empathy and compassion. Have some more patience, you guys. I know it's rich coming from me as I'm losing my fucking mind on the 405 on a weekly basis, reducing someone who cut me off to a scumbag piece of shit. Just have a little more patience and compassion. You never know what people are going through. I'm in my feels a little bit. Maybe it's the beer I'm sipping on, which is lovely, by the way. It's a local ale. Veterans United Craft Brewery in Jacksonville. Delicious. A cheeky little shot of tequila. Sorry this is just coming at you guys raw. I just. I also just left my dad, and he's in an assisted living facility I've been working on, building ha house here in Yulee, Florida. And now that it's completed, it's a brutal irony that he can't move in because he can't live on his own. And it's just. It feels stark. Yeah, feels very stark. It's. One minute you're their baby, you're in a high chair, and then the next, you're the one holding the spoon. You know, no one really warns you how fast the roles can reverse. It feels like it happened overnight. 82 years in the making. Just life kind of quietly hands you the responsibility. And it's shocking, it's gradual. And all of a sudden, simultaneously, like just literally two hours before I came here, I was cutting up my dad's favorite blueberry pancakes from the beachside diner. And Fernandina beach in tiny little pieces so he doesn't choke on them. And he can barely talk to me. And there's days he doesn't recognize me or my sister or my brothers. And other days he's sharp, he's lucid, and he's got his wit back. But it's shocking to see someone that at one point just had all the moxie, the get up and go gusto in the world. He was a rock and now he's just surviving. Yeah, it can be brutal. Shout out to anybody out there who's listening, who's gone through that. Seeing a loved one, friend, family, sister, brother, best friend, mom, dad, whatever, favorite bartender, just decompensate or wither away or die spontaneously is fucking brutal. And it's nice to have a place like an airport to just feel safe and have a drink, maybe riff with the bartender. This is one of my happy places. I mean, it's all sad. I'm having my mom move in there. She's moving in at the end of the month and that's the silver lining. Maybe this episode's my silver lining playbook. Yeah, man, getting old sucks, you guys. I mean, don't get me wrong, I went through my 30s, I'm in my 40s now. You're gonna love them. I feel better than I've ever felt. I'm 43, I feel youthful, still have some whimsy, but I just feel so much more competent. I think I got my frontal lobe finally. And yeah, man, I just, I. I saw someone break it down by summers recently. I think they had just turned 30 and they were looking at the average lifespan, which is like, I don't know, 74. What is the average lifespan in America? Let's look it up real quick. You guys stepping on Looks like the average life Expectancy is about 79 years, which is an increase from 78.4 in 2023. Oh my God. It's crazy when such some like someone, something as beautiful as being a human beings rich 3D layered. Someone who's loved and lost and cried, has dreams and ambitions, goals, loves and loves lost. It's just like all of a sudden just broken down to a statistic like an average of 78.4 years. Anyways, life comes at you fast, you guys. It really does. Yeah. And yeah, I saw someone break it down by summers. Let's just say you're 30 years old right now and we'll round up and say that average lifespan is 80. That means you have what, 50 more summers if you're really lucky. Yeah. And if you're 50, 30 more summers. I don't know. It feels morbidly motivating to hear that, but it's still motivating nonetheless. Break it down by summers or winters or birthdays. Right. What? Do whatever you have to do to remind the people that you love that you love them. And yeah, that's all I gotta say today. Sorry, this one's not polished, you guys. I'm in my feels, I'm drinking at the bar, and I love you guys. And I promise you the next episode will be better. And. Yeah. Thanks for watching the Valley. Check out the new episode tonight. If it's Wednesday and you're hearing this, check out the new episode tonight. Episode three, season three of the Valley. It's a doozy. All right, I love you guys. I'm gonna check out and next week we'll be back. This is just my little auto diary therapy session with you guys at the airport. Thank you for listening. I love you guys. All right, let me leave you with a quote. I was looking up some Shakespeare. Just. I was wrestling with just. Yeah. How stark. The brutality of the impermanence of life. You know? And I was thinking back, looking for a good quote. Shakespeare. You can always count on Shakespeare. That's my boy. This is from as you liked it. All the world's a stage and all the men and women merely players. Last scene of all that ends with strange eventful history. His second childishness and mere oblivion. Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. Something about that phrase, second childishness. Childishness, man, that's just. That nailed it. If I'm interpreting that right. Just the return of being dependent when you're older. Very humbling. Something about that. Just. Circle of life. The symmetry, beginning and end. I don't know, man. Just go hug someone you love. Okay. Bye, guys. Imagine that voicemail on Monday. I love you, darling.

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[Tom Schwartz]

I'll talk to you soon. Bye. Tell me, boy.

[Narrator/Host]

I love you.

[Tom Schwartz]

Call me. I got a question for you. Love you.

[Narrator/Host]

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[Airport Bartender]

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[Tom Schwartz]

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