Tea Drunk, Triggered & In Love with Kiana Carroll

Summary

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Podcast Summary: “Tea Drunk, Triggered & In Love with Kiana Carroll”

Podcast: Detox Retox with Tom Schwartz
Host: Tom Schwartz
Guest: Kiana Carroll
Date: August 6, 2026
Episode Theme: Mindfulness, relationships, misophonia, and playful self-exploration—finding harmony in wellness and indulgence, with a focus on quirky rituals, relationship challenges, and vulnerability.

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Overview

In this engaging and candid episode, Tom Schwartz invites his girlfriend, Kiana Carroll, to decompress after a busy stretch of travel and public appearances. Set in Kiana’s cozy New York apartment, they sip potent herbal tea (“tea drunk”), riff on relationship quirks, and dive into a laugh-out-loud, relatable exploration of Kiana’s misophonia (sound sensitivity). The episode balances mischief and mindfulness, blending playful banter, raw confessions, and couple’s games—all while highlighting the joys and challenges of love, fame, and everyday life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Throwing the First Pitch & Fame Anecdotes

• Tom’s Recap: Tom relives his second ever baseball “first pitch” moment (Oakland A’s game in Sacramento), celebrating personal milestones and poking fun at public perception.
  • Notable Quote: “I threw a hell of a pitch... Last time I kind of half-assed it. This game, I gave it like 80 [percent].” (03:49)
• Public Image: Tom jokes about unflattering press photos and headlines, e.g., “Tom Schwartz resurfaces looking downcast like I’m some sort of miserable, chubby recluse.” (05:39)
• Star Cameos & Stories: Reminisces about hanging out with Bravo housewives, sharing quirky celebrity rituals (like how Marisol customizes her screwdriver cocktails).

2. Getting “Tea Drunk” in NYC

• Experimentation: Tom and Kiana experiment with strong herbal teas (with yerba mate), hoping to get “tea drunk”—a euphoric, slightly buzzed, but wholesome state.
  • “I feel nice. Kind of euphoric…Maybe I’m just high on love.” – Tom (09:04)
  • “Maybe it’s just because I’m with you and I love you.” – Kiana (09:20)
• Tea Rituals: Discussion about caffeine alternatives (matcha, chai, yerba mate) and the placebo effect of “wellness” fads.

3. The Realities of Misophonia

• Definition: Kiana openly discusses her struggles with misophonia—a powerful emotional and physical reaction to certain sounds and repetitive motions.
  • “It’s like unbelievably infuriating. Not a pet peeve…It drives me absolutely insane.” – Kiana (17:13)
  • Major triggers include gum chewing, slurping, heavy breathing, leg shaking, and certain repetitive behaviors.
  • Childhood anecdotes (throwing out noisy sandals, traumatized by her mom’s flip-flops).
• Playful Challenge: Tom sets up a “Misophonium Misery” game (19:04), purposefully triggering Kiana with various sounds—gum chewing, chip crunching, pen clicking, slurping—ranking her discomfort for each.
  • Notable Reactions: Gum chewing is her absolute worst:
    • “Stop. Seriously, stop. Okay. I’m taking the headphones off.” – Kiana (24:47)
    • “You are one of the sweetest human beings…but when it comes to misophonia, a new person comes out.” – Tom (19:51)

4. Luck, Jackpots & Gambling

• Tom’s Unlikely Wins: Tom recounts winning the Dodger Stadium 50/50 raffle jackpot twice (1 in 1.6 billion odds).
  • “Is it life changing money? No. Did it feel life changing? Yes.” (15:34)
• Kiana’s Take: She confesses gambling isn’t as lucky for her, but breaking even in a casino “counts as a win.” (16:00)

5. Candid Relationship Talk & Disclosure

• Fame & Recognition: Kiana opens up about her discomfort with being recognized, insisting: “No one knows who I am and no one gives a fuck about me.” (32:14)
• Boundaries: They joke about Tom being asked to sign fans’ breasts, with Kiana playfully drawing a hard line: “I’m not joking at all. Stop doing it.” (33:07)

6. Couple’s Games: “Who’s More Likely?”

A sweet, revealing Q&A that delivers both comedy and insight into their relationship:

• Who stays up later? Kiana.
• Who makes friends with strangers? Tom.
• Who cries at brunch? Kiana, “I’m an easy crier... Dead sober or not.” (41:48)
• Who wins arguments? “Me, always.” – Kiana, citing “almost a photographic memory.” (43:47)
• Who’s more romantic? Mutual admiration, with stories of Tom gifting pink roses and Kiana’s generous splurges on travel.

7. Travel, Anxiety & Flying First Class

• Kiana’s Flight Anxiety: She explains how flying triggers her claustrophobia and how she copes (Valium, first class upgrades, laying flat when possible).
  • “If I want to splurge on something, it’s gonna be that...One of my best tax write offs ever.” (46:44, 55:06)
• Funny Anecdote: Kiana once woke up mid-flight to a stranger in JetBlue Mint scratching her back. (48:09)
  • “I was like, what are you doing? Sorry, I thought you were my wife…I was half out of it, so I probably was like, more calm than I would have been.” (48:10)

8. Vulnerability & Sentimentality

• Parental shout-outs: Warm memories, family-delightful customs (e.g., a unique spicy snack and tiger sauce).
• Growth & Reflection:
  • Kiana confesses to forging her dad’s signature as a kid, reflecting on how much she has changed:
    • “It’s very beautiful that I am where I’m at...it wasn’t looking too pretty for me.” (31:02)
• Romantic Gestures:
  • Tom brings Kiana her favorite pink roses for her lunch breaks and always keeps them on her nightstand—“So sweet.” – Kiana (58:08)

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On “Tea Drunk”:
  • “Maybe I’m just high on love.” (09:25, Tom)
• On Misophonia:
  • “You are one of the sweetest human beings…but when it comes to misophonia, a new person comes out.” (19:51, Tom)
  • “Stop, seriously, stop. I’m taking the headphones off.” (24:47, Kiana—reacting to gum chewing)
• On Relationships & Arguments:
  • “Who’s more likely to win an argument?” – Tom (43:47)
    “Me, always. I will never lose.” – Kiana (43:49)
• On Winning Luck:
  • “The odds of hitting it two years in a row, 1 in 1.6 billion with a B.” (15:28, Tom)
  • “Breaking even [in a casino]—a win in my mind.” (16:00, Tom)
• On Fame & Boundaries:
  • “If you’re at an event for my boyfriend, don’t ask him to sign your boobs. It’s rude and it’s annoying.” (32:48, Kiana)
• On Being Recognized:
  • “No one knows who I am, and no one gives a fuck about me.” (32:14, Kiana)
• On Romance:
  • “He brings me a rose every time. It’s the sweetest thing ever.” (58:07, Kiana)
• On Flying:
  • “If you ever get the option [for JetBlue Mint], enjoy it. It’s a little vacation in itself.” (47:16, Tom)

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Flow & Tone

The episode is alternately playful, intimate, and sincere—blending self-deprecating humor with genuine emotional honesty. Tom and Kiana riff freely, poking fun at themselves, each other, and the quirks of modern life in the spotlight, while also holding space for real vulnerability and support.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• First Pitch Stories & Fame: 00:41–06:30
• Tea Drunk & Placebo Effects: 07:06–09:30
• Kiana’s Misophonia Explained: 16:35–19:51
• Misophonium Misery Game: 19:51–28:57
• Relationships & Couple’s Games: 38:34–59:00
• Vulnerability & Growth: 30:12–31:38; 56:11–58:59

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Final Thoughts

This episode stands out for its authenticity—offering a behind-the-scenes peek at Schwartz and Carroll’s offbeat rituals and deep affection, while also highlighting the real frustrations (misophonia), joys (shared wins, small victories), and complexities (public perception, anxiety, boundaries) that come with love and a bit of fame. Heartfelt, hilarious, and endearing, it is a must for anyone craving both the chaos and coziness of modern relationships.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

It's now time for your weekly detox with Tom Schwartz.

[A]

Yes, we are going to the freaking ball game again, you guys. Not to brag or boast, but I'm getting to live out another dream of throwing out the first pitch at a Major League baseball game. And this time, I'm gonna give it a little more oomph. Here's a little vote of confidence for my mom.

[B]

Hi, Tommy, it's Mom. I remember going to all of your baseball games and I love watching you pitch. You are a wonderful pitcher. One day I went to one of your games and you were on the bench and I asked your teammates, why isn't Tom pitching? And they said, Tom cracked up the team, so the coach benched him.

[A]

I was.

[B]

I thought, how is that possible?

[A]

I was a hoot. Quiet.

[B]

But anyway, hon, here I am sending

[A]

you love on your first pitch.

[B]

Make it a great one.

[A]

Thank you, Mom. And it was a great one. I gave them the high stinky cheese. Honestly, I'm proud of this one. Me and Brittany had the great pleasure of throwing out the first pitch at the Oakland A's game in Sacramento at their temporary stadium because I think they're shipping off to Las Vegas. Much of the dismay of Oakland A's fans. I'm sorry, you guys, but we had a great time. Although they got whooped by Detroit, it was a bloodbath. But we had a hell of a time and I threw a hell of a pitch. And so did Britney. She was injured from filming a show in the Dominican Republic, but she still gave it the good old heave ho. Good on you, Brittany. Last time I got to do this was in Boston. It was very chic. We stayed at the Four Seasons in Boston, went to the game Fenway. But I kind of half assed my pitch. I was, like, not aloof, but I was trying to play it cool, you know, I didn't want to try too hard and die too hard, you know what I mean? So I kind of like gave it about 50 this game. I gave it like 80. I wound up channeled some Dennis Eckersley and Oakland A's legend famous for for his side arm pitch. One of my heroes growing up. But yeah, I had a hell of a time. It was so fun and I think we did pretty damn good. I remember the first time in Boston. I was chilling with Housewives of Miami. Alexia, Marisol, and OC OG Tamra. And we had a grand old time. Like, they are so fun to hang out with. I remember Marisol. I learned that when she orders a vodka orange juice, a screwdriver, she likes the juice to come separate the vodka ice in one glass and the OJ in another glass because she likes to construct it herself. And I thought that was such a cute little idiosyncrasy. But yeah, so fun. Shout out to the Kimpton in Sacramento. I dig Sacramento. Kiana was with me and I think I did her proud. We're going to chat with her today. Catch up, check in. We're decompressing in my favorite city in the world. If you listen to this podcast, then you already know New York City. My God, I love New York City. But today, today we're just gonna chill a little. Detox from the weekend also had an appearance in Buffalo. Shout out to Hartman's distillery. I love Buffalo. What you guys know about beef on weck? What you guys know about pizza logs? What you guys know about the best wings in America? What you guys know about Buffalo Mac and cheese? My God, if I keep eating in Buffalo, I'm gonna look worse than I did in that Daily Mail picture. My God, they did me dirty. You guys saw the headline. Tom Schwartz resurfaces looking downcast like. Like I'm some sort of miserable, chubby recluse. You guys did me dirty. That's okay. But yeah, Kiki's actually shooting right now. She's shooting and she gets off in about an hour. We're gonna have some tea. I'm trying to find the best tea in New York City. That's right. I'm looking at a few different spots. You guys have any recommendations? Okay, I forgot. This is not live. But I want to know what it's like to get tea drunk. Have you guys ever heard this term? I don't know, like, we're not drinking today. Today's a detox day. But, you know, there's certain teas and herbal stores where you can get, like, a little buzz. Yeah. Also there's a. Literally a store called Tea Drunk in New York, known for their authentic Chinese tea culture, sourcing rare, high quality teas and offering educational Tastings and events down in the East Village. Okay, I have an hour maybe. I'm gonna go down here, pick up some tea, try to catch a buzz in the most wholesome, holistic, positive way, and have a nice little decompression detox with my lovely girlfriend, Kiana Carroll. Okay? All right. I'm gonna go get some good tea and I'll be back and we're gonna have a little chat. Okay? Bye, guys. Best thing that's ever happened to you, financially. Go easy. Sold my car on Carvana. Amazing offer, really. I hit 200 on the scratcher. Did the scratcher come to your house and hand you a check? No. How many scratchers did you hit to get that? I hit a button on Carvana.com once. Okay, that's fair. It's like the lottery, except you always win. Not like the lottery at all, actually. Exactly. Inexplicably good offers worth bragging about. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply. Ladies and gentlemen, live New York City. Okay. Not live, pre recorded. Yeah, New York City with my girl, Kiana Carroll. Kiana Carroll. How you doing?

[B]

Good. Just finished work back at home in my apartment. So happy you're here.

[A]

So happy to be here. We're detoxing today, and I wanted to go to a traditional tea house. The one I wanted to take us to isn't open right now, so I went to the local tea and spice market and I got us some of the strongest shit they have.

[B]

No, I don't like that.

[A]

Yeah. I am going to attempt to get tea, high tea, drunk with Kiana today. Yeah.

[B]

Nothing psychoactive.

[A]

Nothing psychoactive. Nothing.

[B]

Just healthy.

[A]

Nothing that's gonna make you your pants.

[B]

Okay, that's good, too.

[A]

No. Smooth move.

[B]

If you know, you know.

[A]

If you know, you know. But, yeah, so this has a little urban mate in it, which is kind of like a tea. It comes from a plant, I think, in South America. And have you ever had urban mate?

[B]

Doesn't it come in a can?

[A]

It can, yeah, I've had that one. But it comes from, like, the yellow can. Yeah, that's one version of it. Okay, I've had a little bit of that, but it's like a smoother, more even keeled, caffeinated drink. No jitters, no tweaking.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I can't drink coffee or Celsius, but I can drink, like, Matcha.

[A]

That's what I'm talking about.

[B]

Chai latte. So I'm thinking it's in that realm.

[A]

It's in that realm. It's kind of like Matcha. And it's packed with beneficial antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, and it boosts metabolism, curbs appetite, which I may or may not need to do after my daily meal. Picture surfaced after I resurfaced looking.

[B]

It was a bad angle.

[A]

As I said, looking downcast.

[B]

Okay. He doesn't actually look like that. Okay.

[A]

The most downcast man ever. That was sad. But yeah.

[B]

Man.

[A]

We're getting tea drunk. Do you feel anything?

[B]

No.

[A]

I feel a little something.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That scares me.

[A]

Is it Maybe I'm psyching myself out a little bit.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I feel nice.

[B]

That's why I asked if there's anything psychoactive, because I'll psych myself out and then placebo will make me think. I just feel nice.

[A]

There's a little. Maybe a little placebo effect going on right now. I was anticipating getting tea drunk. I feel happy and a little lighter on my feet. Kind of euphoric.

[B]

Okay, me too. But maybe just because I'm with you and I love you.

[A]

And I love you too.

[B]

And I finished my work day.

[A]

Maybe I'm just high on love.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's also like the best feeling, getting off work.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's got to be one of the great simple pleasures in life.

[B]

Yes. Whenever you ask me what was my favorite part of the day when we wrapped?

[A]

Every time I ask her. Key. What was your favorite part of the day when we wrapped? The martini shot.

[B]

Oh. Best part of the day.

[A]

Industry term. The last shot when you're on set. I don't know if it's for like modeling, but when you're like.

[B]

It is.

[A]

When you're filming on set, the martini shot is the last shot of the day.

[B]

And we say that too.

[A]

Kiana Carroll, you have a rare gift. You're one of the few people that actually remembers the day they were born. Can you tell us?

[B]

Okay, this is a long going joke I've had with my cousin, and I don't know how it started. I was just saying. And we were cracking up because I think I kind of made him believe it for like a second. Obviously that's not true. But then we pull this prank on everyone and myself included. Yeah. You just have to be stupid to believe that. Obviously that's not true. But I guess I make it kind of sound convincing because when we did it on you, you believed me for like at least five minutes.

[A]

I was. I was very skeptical at first and I was like, oh, my God, like I'm convincing now.

[B]

You.

[A]

You persuaded me that you actually Remember the day you were born.

[B]

And just to clarify, I obviously don't.

[A]

Well, we just got back from Oakland. Buffalo. I threw out the first pitch for the second time in my life. Fulfilling a childhood dream. Rookie of the year. I was channeling Henry Roland Gardner. Kiki. Kiki missed my first pitch, unfortunately.

[B]

I really wish I was there, but I had to come from Bishop, California. So I was already in Northern California, but there was one flight out a day. Had to have a layover in San Francisco. Then I got to Sacramento, then I needed to take a shower. Then I got to the game and I missed the first pitch. But we had so much fun at the game still.

[A]

We had a beautiful private suite and we got to meet the players wives and yeah, man, me and Brittany threw out the first pitch. That was the second time I did it. First time in Boston with the housewives. So two bucket lists and I feel like I crushed it this time.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

Yes. I brought the high stinky cheese last time. I kind of was like played it safe. I didn't want to. I don't want to overdo it or show off that I actually used to be a pitcher. I feel like they've never properly showed any of my athletic prowess on Bravo.

[B]

Do you have that much?

[A]

I'm well endowed with athletic prowess.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Speaking of well endowed, I opened the intern. Oh my God. The first thing I saw, I just texted Sandoval and I'm like, bro. The first headline I saw.

[B]

Maybe we don't need to repeat it.

[A]

No, I'm not going to repeat it. But if like I just.

[B]

It wasn't fortunate.

[A]

It wasn't fortunate. And I was like, I. Not that I've seen it, but I look Tom, I'm sure his you know what is lovely. He has a beautiful penis. Okay, I feel like this is slander, but comment. We're not going to get into that anyways. We're not going to comment on Sandoval. If you hear this. I love you brother.

[B]

But yes, we're sending love.

[A]

He's going through it right now. Every time I open Instagram, there's a new headline on tmz. Yeah, that's going to be us someday.

[B]

No, just kidding. I don't want that.

[A]

No, I'm just kidding.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I don't want to put that out there. Kiki. I also know, speaking of baseball, I love baseball. I played baseball growing up. It's probably my favorite sport to watch live. I. I know you don't love.

[B]

Which is kind of a hot take most People who even like baseball don't prefer to watch that one live because

[A]

it's a little slow, but you get it. It's like a slice of Americana, right? You got your peanuts? Yeah. We went to a Dodgers game the week before, and TJ from Southern Hospitality had his first Dodgers dog. I think he gave it a seven out of ten. What do you. What are you rate in a Dodger dog?

[B]

I mean, to me, a hot dog is a hot dog.

[A]

Hot dog is a hot dog.

[B]

They're all great. I love hot dogs. Yeah, it's nothing special.

[A]

Okay, that's blasphemy. Don't tell that to tj, okay? He just. I think he just leased a new spot in Charleston. He's got his own hot dog.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I don't know if you guys know this, and I don't want to brag. I know you don't love when good things happen to people other than yourself, but you guys.

[B]

Which is slightly a joke.

[A]

Okay, It's a joke. You guys, I won the 5050 jackpot at Dodger Stadium back to back years.

[B]

And actually, it's not a joke because I was actually so annoyed because I went to a Dodgers game, him right before that, and that one, we also did the 50 50, and we did not win. And then, of course, you go without me and you won.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And when you texted me about it, I, like, literally was annoyed.

[A]

Listen, if you guys don't know. So when you can go and you can get tickets, I usually get the one. It's $150. I know it's kind of a lot. And you get 300.

[B]

And you convinced me to also.

[A]

I did. I should reimburse you because I was so sure we were going to win. But yes, it's a half of half of the jackpot goes to charity. It go and it get up. It gets up to anywhere between 25,000 and $100,000. So last year, me and my friend hit it for $36,000. So you cut that in half. We split that. We end up walking with like, maybe like $6,500 each, but still, it felt like a million dollars in the moment. Cuz, like, it's hard to hit. And then we went again this year, and we hit the jackpot again for $35,000.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

How insane is that?

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

I was toying with some numbers and looking online and using the Dodgers 2026 average home attendance of about 50,000 fans, you know, on average, let's just say 800 people buy tickets. It's probably more. And they usually spend at least $50. That equals 40,000 raffle entries.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Listen. So, like, okay, say these. These are ballpark numbers. So the first time is like 1 in 40,000. The odds of hitting it two years in a row, 1 in 1.6 billion with a B.

[B]

What the hell? You have that much luck and it wasn't with me.

[A]

B for blessed be. For billion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like.

[B]

Like.

[A]

Is it life changing, money? No. Did it feel life changing? Yes. Yes.

[B]

That's so lucky.

[A]

Have you ever won a jackpot? No. Have you ever won anything?

[B]

Okay, yes. My life is amazing, honestly.

[A]

You've had a great life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Friends, family.

[B]

And we were gambling in Buffalo.

[A]

We were.

[B]

We.

[A]

We. We had a good little run on roulette.

[B]

Did we win or did I just not lose? Listen, I think I just broke even.

[A]

In my mind. When you're in the casino, breaking even is a win.

[B]

Yes, Agreed. I have lost a lot. So I guess we did win.

[A]

Breaking even. A win in the casino.

[B]

So I've won something in my life.

[A]

That's beautiful, Kiki.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Listen, I want to talk today about something. There's not really a theme to this episode. Well, getting tea drunk. You feeling anything?

[B]

No. Okay. I feel good.

[A]

All right. Maybe they sold me oregano. It's just placebo and love.

[B]

I feel good.

[A]

I feel good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something that's a reoccurring issue in our

[B]

relationship, in my life.

[A]

Something you've been affected with. Something a lot of people are affected with. And it is a legit neurophysiological condition, really. Not just a pet peeve. I think. I think that's the consensus. Today we're going to talk a little bit about your misophonia.

[B]

We briefly touched on this in another episode. But I would like to draw more attention to this because, yes, it really affects my life.

[A]

Okay, just listen. I'm going to read the definition. I put together what I've gleaned from the Internet. And then you tell me, tell the audience, what is misophonia?

[B]

You want me to say it first?

[A]

Yeah, you go first.

[B]

Okay. It's pretty much like a deep, deep anger from certain noises and from certain, like, repetitive motions. For example, I would say my biggest one is gum chewing. The sound of people dragging their feet when they walk. And then the look of people shaking their leg, which is ironic because you literally shake your leg so much.

[A]

I shake the shit out of my legs.

[B]

Or, like, if people, like, are repetitively touching their hair, which is kind of funny because I do that. But yeah, it's, it's like unbelievably infuriating. Like it's not just a little bit of a pet peeve like you said. It's, it's like it drives me absolutely insane. When I was a kid it was worse, but it still is a battle I fight every.

[A]

Every day.

[B]

Every day.

[A]

Why are you chomping?

[B]

Why are you chomping?

[A]

She asked me that. Every fucking day.

[B]

Every day. The first two bites of everything he eats is a chomp and it drives me insane.

[A]

God forbid I chew on a carrot.

[B]

God forbid, you guys.

[A]

Misophonia literally means hatred of sound. But yeah, like it's, it's more nuanced than that. It's just a certain, like she says certain everyday noises, chewing, lip smacking, chomping, sniffing, whatever can trigger like an immediate fight or flight response. And like, you know, the reaction is a little like disproportionate over the top, but it's not something you can control.

[B]

Oh, it's for sure disproportionate. Yeah, I have like when I was a kid I would like pull my hair out when I was, I think I told this already actually on another episode, but when I was a kid, I hated the sound of one of my mom's flip flops cuz they made so much noise. So I stole them and I threw them out so that I didn't have to hear those anymore.

[A]

And, and the rocking chair.

[B]

And the rocking chair. Won't get into that one. I'll sound crazy.

[A]

We're going to get, we're going to play a little game if you're okay. And it's kind of like, I think I'm going to call it Misophonium Misery. Okay, Kiki.

[B]

Perfect. That sounds great. After a long day of work, this

[A]

is probably going to be just as bad for you guys as it is her as she literally just got off work and I'm going to torture you a little bit. Okay, well what we're going to do, I'm going to go grab some stuff from the refrigerator. We're going to take a beat. You're going to close your eyes and you're going to guess what I'm chewing on.

[B]

And then I feel like I got this.

[A]

And then you're going to rate how miserable it's making you.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I already know what the most miserable one for me is.

[A]

Don't tell me yet.

[B]

I won't tell you.

[A]

Don't tell us yet.

[B]

But in my family, it's known that this is like banned. I'll tell you guys when I hear it from him. But it is banned in my family. Everyone knows if you're around me, do not partake.

[A]

Listen, you are. You are one of the sweetest human beings I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. But when it comes to Misophonia, a

[B]

new person comes out.

[A]

Oh, you turn into a monster. There is a beast within. Okay, I'm gonna grab some from the fridge. By the way, my tea's kicking. Something's kicking. Okay, and we're gonna pick back up in one second. I'm calling this game Misophonia Misery with Kiki Carol. You're listening to this podcast, so I know you've got a curious mind. Here's a helpful fact you might not know yet. Drivers who switch and save with Progressive save over $900 on average. And they make it super simple. Pop over to progressive.com, answer some questions and you'll get a quick quote with coverage options tailored to your choices. Plus you'll see which discounts you may qualify for, like the online quote discount or savings from paying in full. In fact, 99% of Progressive Auto customers earn at least one discount. See if you could save when you switch to Progressive. You feel good about making a savvy choice. Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates national average 12 month savings of $946 by new customers surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2024 in May 2025. Potential savings may vary. I'm Justin Sylvester. And I'm Blakely Thornton. Join us for Yesterday, the podcast where we break down the most pivotal pop culture moments in history and give them the queer love that they deserve. The things that got us riled up during dial up, those makeouts that should have been breakouts and the drops that were cemented in pop. I'm talking Benifer, Tyra versus Naomi, Tom Cruise jumping on that couch and so much more. So please rate us, subscribe to us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or anywhere you get audio related content. We also take Venmo and Cash app ach or credit card number as well. We're malleable, you know we're gay today.

[B]

My name is Shannon Maldonado. I'm the founder of Yaoi, a gift shop.

[A]

From the lens of artists and handmade objects. I chose Shopify because when I was testing other platforms it was definitely one of the most user friendly it was important to me to think about where

[B]

we would be in the future. All of the tools for reading your

[A]

sales, like planning inventory, they're just right

[B]

there on your dashboard. For anyone starting a small business, the

[A]

biggest thing I can tell you, it doesn't have to be perfect. Shopify can help you build upon it.

[B]

Start your free trial on shopify.com.

[A]

from taco night in Tulum to sushi in Tokyo, every bite is rewarding and postworthy with MX Gold's 4 times membership rewards points at restaurants worldwide. Wherever you dine, points are piling up. So bring your friends along for your next course. Because it's not all about the posts. It's about the company and the memories. How can gold from Amex sweeten your next food moment? Learn [e-mail] Explore Gold terms and points cap apply. Okay, Kiki, you ready?

[B]

Well, I want to make one disclaimer first. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Yes. This is gonna drive me nuts for sure. But I would say one of the worst parts is when I have no control over it. So if I'm at work and someone's chewing gum and I can't tell them to stop, it, like, makes it so much worse. So the fact that I know I have control here, I won't turn into that much of a crazy bitch.

[A]

This is for educational purposes only, not to torture my beloved girlfriend.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, here we go. Kiki, we're gonna start slow, okay?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Start easy. Okay, ready?

[B]

What the hell is that? Is that just you tapping? That's not eating. You're just tapping. Can I look at you?

[A]

That's my impression of Sheena typing on her phone with her own fingernails.

[B]

Oh, that's not one of mine. I don't get that one.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Not everyone who has it has the same, like, triggers.

[A]

Okay. All right, we're starting small here. Okay. These are some softcore light triggers.

[B]

Although my mom typing on a laptop is one of them.

[A]

Okay, ready?

[B]

Pen clicking. That's not one of mine.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

One to ten. Ten being you're gonna pull your hair out.

[B]

Two.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Ready? Okay. You're in a movie theater right now. Can you hear this?

[B]

Okay, stop. Okay.

[A]

Is that crinkling of a bag?

[B]

Yeah, I could tell. Okay. Still not one of my main triggers, but definitely annoying. Maybe I'll give it a four.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because I was excited for you to stop. Okay. Oh, hell no. Hell no. Hell no. Okay. Was that gum? Stop. Seriously, stop. Okay. I'm taking the headphone.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

The viewers will hate that or the Listeners.

[A]

I was supposed to close with that one.

[B]

That's my biggest one. So before we started and I told you guys, there's one that literally my family knows is banned in the house. It's gum. That's my worst one. That was insane. Like, everyone probably just turned this off right now because of how bad it was. Even if you don't have misophonia, this

[A]

is personally one of my. I don't have this, but this is one of my least favorite ones. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Some people also just have pet peeves. This is like a different level that I have.

[A]

Well, I didn't bring cereal. I know that the sound of someone eat. Like when Sandoval eat. When we lived together, when he would eat a bowl of cereal, he would breathe so heavily and it would stress me out first thing in the morning.

[B]

I hate when people breathe heavy. You do sometimes.

[A]

Fucking mouth breathers.

[B]

I hate.

[A]

Wait, am I a mouth breather?

[B]

You're not a mouth breather, but you know how many times I tell you? Why are you breathing so loud?

[A]

Okay. Yeah. Back to the game.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're not gonna like this one.

[B]

Okay. Okay. A carrot. Oh, my God, stop. I'm gonna take the headphones off. Okay. Okay. Was that a carrot? The carrot? Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm gonna sound like such a. Okay. Ready? Yeah.

[A]

There's another one.

[B]

Is that just you chewing air? Oh, no, stop. Is that gum again?

[A]

It's really.

[B]

Stop.

[A]

It's really cold. Dippin dots.

[B]

What?

[A]

It's cookies and cream. Dippin dots.

[B]

That's a niche one.

[A]

Yeah, that's kind of niche. I went niche there.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, any eating is. Is one of my biggest triggers. So, like, I hated that.

[A]

Okay, ready? Brace yourself for this one. Okay. Gotta guess what it is.

[B]

A chip. Oh, my God. A chip of some sort, Right? This is torture for everyone listening because no one likes these noises. Even if you don't have misophonia, there's

[A]

gonna be a mass unsubscribing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is the opposite of asmr.

[B]

Yeah, those are.

[A]

Those are crisp. Sourdough crisps.

[B]

I would. Okay. Similar. I said chips.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay.

[A]

All right, ready?

[B]

Slurping is not a huge one for me. Unless it's like, eating. Like, if it's someone slurping soup and then they, like, after. That drives me insane. But you drinking right now. I'm assuming you just, like, drink a beverage. I don't love it, but it's not one of my worst ones.

[A]

You don't like Wet talkers either, do you? No. My. My sweet soul of a brother was eating a steak when we were in Florida with my parents, and you were slowly losing your mind.

[B]

I feel terrible.

[A]

He was savoring his perfectly cooked filet

[B]

mignon, which is very normal. I'm the wrong one.

[A]

You're not. You're very polite. Well, not to. Not to the people you love the most. Like, you'll tell me to shut the

[B]

f up and I'll tell my mom.

[A]

It's so funny because, yeah, you're the harshest on the people you love the most, but those are the people you're most comfortable with, right?

[B]

Yeah. Shout out Rachel. I, like, hit her in the face in middle school. All right. Okay. I hate this. I don't know what this is, but it's just smacking.

[A]

This is fresh ground honey roasted peanut butter.

[B]

Okay. Like, as if I was gonna guess that.

[A]

All right, this bit is getting kind of t. We'll do one more.

[B]

Okay. You.

[A]

You.

[B]

You should have landed with gum, cuz. Gum.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, ready?

[A]

Last one, last one.

[B]

Oh, I hate this. This sounds like gum, too. No, like a gummy.

[A]

This is hot honey beef jerky.

[B]

Okay, like I was going to guess that either. I don't like this one.

[A]

Okay. All right, let's move on.

[B]

Guys.

[A]

Thank you for tuning in for an episode.

[B]

We've got to talk more.

[A]

A misophonia. No, that's not ending there. That's where your misery is gonna end.

[B]

Okay, okay. Worst one, I will say absolutely was

[A]

gone, but the worst one overall.

[B]

Finish your bite.

[A]

Oh, sorry. By the way, what's your beef with pretzels?

[B]

Oh, I think it's the most pointless snack ever. It tastes like wood chips. Unless you have a flavored pretzel. Why are you choosing to, like, waste your calories on that?

[A]

Well, they're salty and delicious and they go down with a nice cold beer.

[B]

Have a cold fish. A goldfish.

[A]

What's your beef with fruit striped gum?

[B]

No, it's not fruit striped gum. It's Juicy Fruit.

[A]

Yeah, Juicy Fruit.

[B]

I used to pretend to people that I was allergic to it so they wouldn't chew it around me. Or one, obviously the noise. Two, the smell makes me so nauseous. So I just said I was allergic to it. Like, what a random thing to be allergic to. So I said people couldn't have it around me when I was, like, in middle school.

[A]

This is off topic, but when was the last time you forged a signature?

[B]

Oh, my God. We just talked to my dad about this. We Were just visiting both of our families in Florida. So my dad's signature is so easy to forge and my mom's isn't. And when I was in school, I didn't get the best grades, but I would need to, like, have my parents sign, like, report cards, progress reports. So I would forge my dad's signature almost every time. And I got so good at it that now my signature is pretty much just my dad's signature. I just changed the first. It's a scribble, but I just changed it from his name starts with a J. And now I changed it to it starts with a kid.

[A]

Kiki. I thought that was so hilarious. I don't know if I was allowed to say that.

[B]

No. Yeah, that's funny.

[A]

I think there's a statue of limitations. It's been, what, 20 years?

[B]

Yeah, I think it's fine.

[A]

15, 16 years.

[B]

At least a decade.

[A]

Oh, my God. You were kind of a menace growing up.

[B]

I was. So. I think it's very beautiful that I am where I'm at right now, because there were some moments it wasn't looking too pretty for me.

[A]

Yeah, we're not gonna go into that.

[B]

No, we're not.

[A]

I don't think we want to divulge.

[B]

No.

[A]

You've had some story arcs, crazy phases.

[B]

I've lived so many different lives. I look at old photos of myself from high school and I'm like, that was not me. I do not resonate with that girl. Like, oh, my God, I'm getting scared that the tea you gave me might give me anxiety. Like, that was not me in high school.

[A]

Listen, but it's not like you're a head case or overly neurotic. You just know your body. You're very in tune with your body.

[B]

Well, I also freak myself out very well.

[A]

You're good at psyching yourself out. You really are.

[B]

I know. I wish I wasn't.

[A]

Kiki, what else is going on? How's life? How's. How. How was the first year of being semi recognizable? I know you have no desire to be on TV or to be famous. Yeah.

[B]

So can people stop saying that?

[A]

First of all, cloud chasing demon, like, stop. No, but what's is it? What's it like being recognized? I like asking people this. I mean, you only filmed a few times, but, like, everywhere we go, people

[B]

are like, kiana, no, absolutely not. I would say the only time I was recognizable was when we're at an event for you. So obviously people are fans of you, so they keep up and they just see that I'm your girlfriend. Other than that, no one knows who I am and no one gives a fuck about me.

[A]

Don't sell yourself short. You're such a big deal in Newfoundland.

[B]

I know Newfoundland, you say it's so weird.

[A]

Newfoundland.

[B]

Newfoundland, you say it's so weird.

[A]

Is there any other misconceptions or anything we need to clear up about you?

[B]

Hey, everyone, if you're an event for my boyfriend, don't ask him to sign your boobs. It's rude and it's annoying.

[A]

Two times.

[B]

And it happened to be. I've only ever been to two of his, like, fan events, and the two events I went to, it happened so. Girls, stop.

[A]

Just, you know, we're, like, 90% joking. Like, no one wants me to.

[B]

I'm not.

[A]

Sign there.

[B]

Okay. I'm not joking at all. Stop doing it.

[A]

I think we've talked about this sometimes. Like, you guys, I'm.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

You do realize that I'm not Tommy Lee.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not Nikki Six.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm not in a band. Like, why would anyone want me to. Like Tom Schwartz to. I'm so not rock and roll. Yeah.

[B]

Like, the bar raise it.

[A]

Even, like, when they want me to sign a napkin, I'm like. I'm not freaking. That's cute, Brady.

[B]

Let's just stop with the boobs, okay? Oh, wait, but you did. You did ask. Okay. I'm not recognizable anywhere but your events because, like, the only thing recognizable about me is that I'm your girlfriend or and you're tall. If someone happens to have seen, like, any of the modeling work I've done. But that's rare at your event. Oh, my gosh. It was so freaking sweet. You guys were so sweet to me in Buffalo. That was actually so fun. I had a blast. Like, shout out to Buffalo. Shout out to everyone there. I also. In Newfoundland. Like, both those places. I had a blast at both those places. I was so. You guys were just so sweet to me. I know I complained a little bit about some of the people that treated me like chopper liver in Newfoundland, but other than that, such sweeties. And in Buffalo. Amazing.

[A]

Kiki, we got, what, two more nights in New York City. What are we going to do?

[B]

Well, I work tomorrow, and I have work. I like, I won't do anything the night before. Like, I need to be well rested. I need to look good. I hate waking up early, so I can't make it harder on me. So. We were originally going to leave after my shoot tomorrow, but I wanted to have one Night in New York City to have some fun. So now we're leaving on Thursday. So after work tomorrow, we're going to have some fun. And then Thursday, all we have to do is fly back to LA and

[A]

then I'm going to host brunch at TomTom on Saturday. And if you're listening to this, if you're listening to this, it's probably Wednesday or Thursday. And I love you and I hope to see you Saturday.

[B]

Oh, I'll be able to go because I work on Saturday, but it's next Saturday, so I can go.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

They took down the pump off the side of the building.

[B]

I saw that.

[A]

It still hasn't been purchased as far as I know.

[B]

I saw that, though.

[A]

I'm gonna check in with Lisa and Ken.

[B]

They didn't take the Tom Tom down.

[A]

They didn't take the Tom Tom down. And I'm gonna try to host as many brunches as possible before we officially close the doors. You guys come kick it with me.

[B]

And me.

[A]

I won't chew my food loud. I won't eat carrots or chop my gum. And I will make you delicious drinks. And can you give me credit? Yeah. Kiki will be there.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

You're a trooper.

[B]

I also did get some people commenting that after the event in Buffalo and they're like, God bless, cuz. Overwhelming is an understatement. You're a trooper. But yeah, Loki, I'm a trooper.

[A]

What? Yeah, listen, they're so wholesome.

[B]

It's a lot going on.

[A]

Fun. And it feels like a family reunion. Like we've been in each other's lives for 16. No, no, 10, 13 years. My God. The show started in 2013. And if you count, like the Valley. Let's not count the pandemic. But we've been in each other's lives for, like, 13 years. That's something special.

[B]

So it's very sweet.

[A]

It is sweet. It's, it's. It's. I usually cry at least once at every event.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And.

[B]

But it is overwhelming.

[A]

I promise not to sign any more boobs. And I love you.

[B]

Yeah, let's not do that anymore.

[A]

It sounds so much worse than it is. It's not like I actually signed. Well, let's not get into it anyways. Okay, you guys. Love you, Kiki.

[B]

That's it. Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna go get some dinner.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is just a quick one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I just wanted to torture you with some sounds for a little bit.

[B]

Okay. So the majority of this was just annoying me that's what I do best. Like I have a lot to say, but. Okay, let's save it for next time.

[A]

Let's save it for next time.

[B]

This is just torture. Okay.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I love you.

[A]

Okay, bye.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Kiki. We're back. We resurrected this episode. Feeling all cute and shit. We're back in Kiana's beautiful apartment. She just lit a candle and we're feeling all cute and shit. Felt like we should keep it going. Maybe do something coupley, even romantic. What should we do? Kiana? She's lighting a candle.

[B]

Okay. I just lit my candle.

[A]

Set the mood.

[B]

We're in my bedroom.

[A]

Are you still tea drunk?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Don't know if I ever got there,

[A]

but I don't think I got there either.

[B]

But we're healthy. We're healthy now we're. We went to dinner at a cute little Irish restaurant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Now we're back in my bedroom. Christmas lights on, windows open so we can see the pretty views and candle lit.

[A]

Christmas lights lit. And it's hygge as hell.

[B]

Whatever that means.

[A]

It's a Danish concept. I only talk about it.

[B]

It's just cozy.

[A]

Okay, it's cozy.

[B]

It's cozy in here. Fresh sheets on my bed. Bed is made.

[A]

Kiki, let's play who's more likely?

[B]

Because thanks to me, I thought we cut the episode a little early before. So I wanted to do something a little fun and I had this idea.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Am I talking too loud?

[A]

No.

[B]

I had this idea and I thought it would be fun.

[A]

Okay, well, shall I begin? Because I wrote some questions down.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Who is more likely to stay up until 3am?

[B]

Obviously me, because this guy always falls asleep on me a little too early.

[A]

I'm a morning person.

[B]

And I'm a night owl.

[A]

I'll be getting that worm.

[B]

Not this morning, early bird. This morning I had to wake up for work at 7:00am yeah, well, guess what?

[A]

I woke up at 4:00am and I couldn't sleep so I had to take a sleeping pill. Non habit forming. Of course. Although I am addicted to them.

[B]

They're over the counter still. Yes, he is a morning person. He falls asleep a little earlier than me. I am definitely more likely to. It is impossible for me to go to sleep early.

[A]

She guilt trips me when I fall asleep early. I was shame me for falling asleep early. Yes.

[B]

Because I'm bored.

[A]

Next question.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Who's more likely to make friends with a stranger? You.

[B]

This man loves to small talk and I don't. Oh my gosh. That's maybe the Only New York thing about me is that we don't have to do fake niceties. I'm sweet.

[A]

They're not fake. Okay, yeah, for you, they're niceties. And they come straight from the heart, from the soul. Why do you think I follow 7536people on Instagram? I love people.

[B]

Maybe a little too much.

[A]

Yeah, maybe a little too much.

[B]

You're definitely more likely to. I don't think small talk is necessary.

[A]

Okay, on that note, who's more likely to sign a pair of breasts?

[B]

Obviously you, because you're the only one that's done it.

[A]

Bad joke.

[B]

Between the two of us.

[A]

Okay, who's more likely to adopt another pet?

[B]

You, obviously.

[A]

All these are you, by the way, Rip. My beta fish, Hans.

[B]

I rescued our Betta fish.

[A]

Sorry about that. That's so rude. Yeah, our baby. Our beautiful Hans. He lived almost a year. I rescued him from. He looked so depressed. He was in a little tub of water at petsmart, I think, on Beverly in West Hollywood. And he had a hell of a life. So this one's for you, Hans.

[B]

Rip.

[A]

He's in a better place now. All Betta fish go to heaven.

[B]

Rip. To my blanket. Right now. We have my cat that passed away here. Right now, Rip.

[A]

Patches. While we're on, kind of a more somber note. Who's more likely to cry at brunch?

[B]

Me.

[A]

It depends on how much alcohol we've consumed, regardless.

[B]

Me.

[A]

100. You?

[B]

Okay, wait.

[A]

I. Probably more likely to cry happy tears.

[B]

I'm more likely to cry dramatic, emotional tears.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, not so. It depends on how many people are there, how densely populated this place is.

[B]

Depends what kind of day I've had. Yeah, but I'm an easy crier, and

[A]

I feel like there's no correlation between how much you've drank. You're a really good drinker, and how much you cry. Like, alcohol doesn't. It doesn't.

[B]

No. I cry at everything. Dead sober or not, I cry. You're.

[A]

You're a crier.

[B]

I'm emotional.

[A]

You're a really pretty crier.

[B]

Am I?

[A]

Unlike Kim Kardashian. No disrespect, but remember, she's, like, notoriously not a pretty crier.

[B]

Am I a pretty crier?

[A]

You're a beautiful crier.

[B]

Well, good, because I do it a lot.

[A]

All right, on that note. Well, kind of a pivot. Who's more likely to try and break up with one another because Mercury's in retrograde.

[B]

Me, obviously.

[A]

Apparently. This was the worst retrograde yet.

[B]

Yes. And we all felt it.

[A]

Oh, my God. What's the over. Under. On how many times you tried to break up with me? I would say four.

[B]

Okay. And it's not that serious, guys. I'm kind of joking around. I like to torture him, but, I

[A]

mean, you were kind of serious. No, no, no. Not that serious. Oh, God. Thank God there's no video. What is Mercury in retrograde? Okay. Astrology is interpreted as a period when those areas are more prone to misunderstandings, delays, glitches, and revisit. What is it, though, exactly?

[B]

Just everything's a mess.

[A]

Everything's a mess. I'm trying to. From an astrological standpoint, I'm trying. I don't fully understand. Like, is it more expectation effect? Like, if Mercury. If you know Mercury's in retrograde, you're kind of more aware of bad things happening?

[B]

I don't know. I don't know. Because usually things will be a mess, and then I'll find out later that it is, and I'll be like, oh, that makes sense. It's kind of like the way a girl is really emotional and depressed, and then she gets her period and she's like, oh, that makes sense. Like, that happens to me all the time. That's kind of how I feel about Mercury in retrograde.

[A]

Well, not just, like, I think individually and maybe even together, we went through a little bit of a rough patch during this last retrograde, as the rest of the Internet did, apparently. Like, everyone was saying this was a horrible retrograde.

[B]

Yeah. It wasn't great, but we. We came out on top.

[A]

We did.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stronger than ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Look at us in New York being all cute.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

God, I actually do feel like once it was over, like, we're happier than ever.

[A]

Yeah. So it doesn't matter if it was placebo or not. It worked.

[B]

It was just a little rough patch.

[A]

Okay, Kiki, who is more likely to win an argument?

[B]

Me, Always.

[A]

You were blessed with an innate ability

[B]

to argue and to always be right and to always make my argument, not to argue. But if there is an argument, I will always be right.

[A]

You're not argumentative. You're just a natural debater.

[B]

Yes. I don't necessarily want to argue. It's just. I will never lose.

[A]

It's a blessing and a curse because you have, like, almost a photographic memory.

[B]

Yes, that is how I win, because I remember everything.

[A]

I forget everything. So how can I compete with her?

[B]

I have receipts. I have proof. I have things to back me up. I've been told several times as a kid I should be a lawyer because I will always fight for my point.

[A]

You guys, she is litigious. She's like a mix of Judge Judy and Johnnie Cochran and his prime. Like, she's the real deal. Have you ever lost an argument?

[B]

Not in my book.

[A]

I think you just cry when you lose an argument.

[B]

Okay. Just kidding.

[A]

Are you capable of being manipulated? No, that's an inside joke.

[B]

Well, it's also just true.

[A]

I'm not like, I will never be manipulated.

[B]

No.

[A]

Ever.

[B]

I can sniff it from a mile away. It will never work on me. Impervious to manipulation because I am an ex manipulator. I feel like in the past, when I was younger, I am a Scorpio, so maybe I knew the tricks, so now it can't get past me. But I don't manipulate anymore.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's in my past.

[A]

It's in the past.

[B]

Long in my past.

[A]

Rip to manipulating.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Who's more likely to miss a flight? Me, obviously.

[B]

Oh. I also take about 80 to 90 flights a year, so regardless of my timing habits, it's just more likely for me. But I also love being late to everything. I don't know if I love it, but it's impossible for me to be early.

[A]

So what's some form of psychological displacement where you like redirect your anxiety or emotions into something else? Because if you're late, you're not worried about flying anxiety, right?

[B]

Yeah, because I have really bad claustrophobia and flight anxiety because of that. So. Yeah, I honestly tried to. It's subconscious at this point, I think. But like, all my friends are like, I think you like being late because I stress myself out. And then once I get on the plane, I'm like, okay. I'm just grateful I made the flight. Then I'm like, okay, I can't really be anxious about it.

[A]

Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

[B]

I'm kind of done.

[A]

No. Oh.

[B]

I made my point, sassy pants.

[A]

Who's more likely to fall asleep on a plane?

[B]

Me. Because you get excited. You get excited to watch a movie. I, like, we just said, have flight anxiety. So I'm taking my Valium, I'm having a glass of Prosecco in first class. Turning that late flat into a bed and going to sleep.

[A]

So I don't. Of course, first class is nice. I don't mind flying coach, but Kiki has like really bad flight anxiety. So anytime you can get first, you'll get it.

[B]

Which is.

[A]

That's okay, by the way.

[B]

It's a really good tax.

[A]

That's like the one Thing you splurge on.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You don't splurge on much in life. Yeah, you're very conservative with your money. I mean, you're very generous. You're generous, but you're not out like going on $10,000 shopping sprees.

[B]

And yeah, I would say I'm probably more generous with giving than I am on myself nowadays. But the one thing I'm very, very. I will splurge on flights always. Or hotels, you guys.

[A]

And by the way, I. I've always been one of those people who can't sleep on a flight. Trust me, if you can get like some Valium or even a freaking Benadrill and two cocktails, you will sleep.

[B]

Or just a lay flat.

[A]

Just get. Okay, Kiki, we can't all afford to lay flats like you 90 times.

[B]

I know, I know, I know. But if you ever get the option, I don't know if you get a free upgrade or something. Enjoy it.

[A]

Treat yourself to JetBlue Mint maybe once a year.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fucking amazing.

[B]

It is one of my. Sometimes they have not bad prices.

[A]

It's like a vacation in itself. And I got to be honest, one of the last times I went home from LAX to Jacksonville, it was almost

[B]

$1,000 for coach and sometimes literally a JetBlue Mint flight that you got a lay flat. A beautiful setup from JFK to LAX. Sometimes you can get them for a thousand dollars.

[A]

Sub1000 I've got very rare. But sometimes I've gotten them multiple times for sub 1000. And it's like a little vacation in itself.

[B]

It is. I used to hate flying so much. I still get anxiety, so I still need to take my Valium. But it's almost gotten to the point where it's such a nice experience being able to fly first class that sometimes I actually look forward to it.

[A]

It. Who's more likely to wake up getting a back scratch from a stranger on a flight?

[B]

Guys, this happened to me. It was the weirdest experience of my life.

[A]

This is so creepy.

[B]

Guys, I was on JetBlue Mint and sometimes you get like a private suite where you're all by yourself and then sometimes it's like two lay flats next to each other. Obviously if you're flying by yourself, you wish you could get the private, but sometimes that's not available. So I was on a flight where I was sitting next to someone. We both were on had lay flats. We both are asleep. It was a red eye flight, so we're sleeping through the whole thing. And I woke up to the man next to me, scratching my back. And I am like, what the hell is happening? I look over and I go, what are you doing? And he was like, oh, my God. Sorry. I just woke up and I'm so out of it. I thought you were my wife or something. I was like, okay, I'm taking another rally. I'm going back to bed, because what the fuck you just happened?

[A]

That is a violation.

[B]

Yeah, I felt so.

[A]

It's kind of intimate. I would be so.

[B]

Kind of.

[A]

I would be so pissed.

[B]

And I had to go. This was when I was taking a red eye and had to go straight to work from that. And I remember going into work and telling everyone, and I think maybe I handled it more calmly than I would have if I didn't take Valium.

[A]

But you were, like, half asleep, right?

[B]

Yeah, I was half asleep. I was half out of it. So I probably was, like, more calmer than I would have been. But when I got to work and I was telling everyone, it hit me and I was like, wait, I should have, like, yelled at him and been more aggressive, because that's weird.

[A]

I mean, I think, yeah, you should have channeled more divine feminine rage, because.

[B]

Which I have plenty of.

[A]

Oh, without a doubt. And. Yeah. But it's just. Anyways, sorry, I didn't mean to bring that up. It's. I think you can laugh at it now, but it was.

[B]

I can laugh at it now.

[A]

It was very creepy in the moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Kiki, who's more likely to get embarrassed in public? Obviously me.

[B]

You.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah, you. Yes, that's true.

[A]

I naturally conflict avoidant, but in public, I'm conflict phobic. I.

[B]

Yes. That's not what I was. Okay. Yeah.

[A]

I think it comes from years of VPR and maybe making a few spectacles

[B]

in my day, and I think maybe having more eyes on you. And I don't. Like, I'm used to being in New York and being loud and. Yeah, I guess being sometimes embarrassing and just knowing that no one in New York cares and no one's paying attention to you, but you have a higher probability that people are paying attention to you. So I get it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But sometimes he's, like, worried we're talking too loud, and I'm like, especially if we're. We're in New York. I'm like, it's fine. No one cares.

[A]

And. And. And by pro. She proved this by yelling multiple times in different spots. See, Nobody cares and no one's looking. It's like that scene in Jurassic park where he has the secret meeting because he has the dino DNA that he's stolen.

[B]

Never seen.

[A]

And he's like, can you be a little more quiet? He's like, hey, look, we're selling dinosaurs. Nobody cares. Nobody cares. Newman Seinfeld. Anything?

[B]

No. Never seen crickets, Newman.

[A]

Wait, you asked me if you. Do you have any?

[B]

What the heck? That's all you got? That's all I got. Okay.

[A]

By the way, this is also. This is also therapeutic for me because I don't usually just talk on podcasts.

[B]

Who's more likely to apologize first?

[A]

Me, obviously, because I do more wrong things.

[B]

Yes. And I'm perfect. Who's more likely to text back immediately?

[A]

Definitely you.

[B]

I know.

[A]

The source of many arguments. I don't like to be on my phone all day.

[B]

I do.

[A]

I don't like to. I, I, I would. I do like to be at your beck and call because I love you. But also, I like time away from my phone.

[B]

I don't. Oh, God.

[A]

She just gave me a death stare.

[B]

Let's see.

[A]

We did pretty good. That was pretty cute.

[B]

Wait, I want a couple more.

[A]

Hit me with a few.

[B]

Okay. Oh, this one is in your favor. Who's the better gift giver?

[A]

The better gift giver. Wow.

[B]

You.

[A]

I think more sentimental, but you do things that mean a lot to me.

[B]

Me. Okay, you.

[A]

You've. You've bought me some lavish gifts.

[B]

Yeah, I'm more good at, like, a lavish gift. You're better at, like, a sentimental and lavish things.

[A]

Obviously get you some nice stuff.

[B]

No, I'm. Yes. Like, we both, I think, treat each other very well, but you're probably better at putting more thought into it. I don't put as much thought into it.

[A]

Yeah, but you are very generous.

[B]

Yes, I am.

[A]

You are.

[B]

Who's more competitive?

[A]

Me.

[B]

Yeah, I'm not competitive at all.

[A]

I mean, if we're arguing. You.

[B]

I was just gonna say, the only thing I'm competitive in is. Is being right as being right. Anything else? A sport. A game. I don't care.

[A]

You guys don't want to see her play pool.

[B]

I don't care. And I'm very bad. Sorry.

[A]

A lot of sports growing up, you played every sport.

[B]

Every single sport, and none of them clicked. I hated everything.

[A]

So, like, her dad loves her. Your mom. Your family loves you so much. They're so proud of you.

[B]

I have the best parents.

[A]

Every once in a while, your dad will like to keep you humble by, like, he'll be pumping you up, or you, like, people will be gassing you up online. You'll be like, listen, she is beautiful, but she's actually terrible at sports.

[B]

Yeah. He posted this thing on Facebook. Really proud of me. Someone comments and says, wow, she's so beautiful. Out of nowhere he just responds and is like, yep, thanks. Unfortunately, she's terrible at sports. Okay, who asked?

[A]

Listen, somebody needs to humble you, Kiki. Yeah, I guess you are humble.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pretty humble.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you.

[A]

So you are.

[B]

Let's see, can I think of any others?

[A]

This is a cute segment. Do more. Do few more. Okay, guys with us. Did we lose you?

[B]

Oh, this is so funny. I looked up some. So, like, I'm not coming up with these on the top of my head. Who is more likely to accidentally order enough food for six people?

[A]

That's definitely me. I like variety. Sue me.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I want a little bit of everything on the menu.

[B]

Yes. Whenever we go anywhere, he orders so many things. And then I tell him, okay, that's enough. We don't need to order anymore. And I'll be like, okay, okay. And I'll keep pointing at the menu and boom, a million more things.

[A]

It's the spice of life variety. I like to have options. Okay, who's more likely to order a Taco Bell at 1:30 in the morning?

[B]

Equal.

[A]

Equal.

[B]

Rag it. Yeah, we did that one of the first times we hung out. Do you remember that?

[A]

Yeah, we did.

[B]

Yeah, it was cute.

[A]

What else? Kiki, one more.

[B]

Okay, okay, okay. The ones I'm seeing are kind of stupid, but I want one more.

[A]

Come on. Now you tell me who is more likely to have a meltdown because they forgot their stuffed animal on the way to the airport?

[B]

Me. Stupid.

[A]

These are just so pointed now.

[B]

These are pointed.

[A]

They're so pointed.

[B]

I think we did some cute ones, though.

[A]

You guys. Were we cute? We're trying to be cute.

[B]

Yeah. Well, we also spoke about how I'm always arguing and winning and how you only fly first.

[A]

She. Guys, she's not a monster. And you're not. You're so. You're so well adjusted.

[B]

And when I do, I always treat the person I'm with to it also. So I'm generous. I don't just fly first class. And I'm all selfish about it. Okay.

[A]

But also when you fly coach, you don't. When you're. At least when you're with me, you're so sweet.

[B]

Oh, if I'm with someone I love, then I'm fine to fly coach. It's just if I'm alone and I'm anxious, but like, if I'm with you and it's not available. I don't care.

[A]

See, I've, I've, I haven't flown nearly as much as you. Maybe a 1/10, 1/4. So I never like, I don't fly enough to care about friends first class. But you do it for work non stop. So I get it.

[B]

And I need my beauty rest.

[A]

We're not first class shaming you here. Why not treat yourself?

[B]

Thank you, but if I want to splurge on something, it's gonna be that. And guys, it's one of my best tax write offs ever, so it actually saves me A lot of people though,

[A]

like when they taste the finer things in life, they can't go back. Me, I don't care, you guys, if you've never flown first class and laid down, just be forewarned. It's hard to go back for some people.

[B]

I actually almost sometimes tell people I know. Earlier we were saying if you're fortunate enough to expl experience it, do it. But I also do tell some people, like maybe never do it because once you do it, it's really hard to go back.

[A]

See, it wasn't that much better to me where I'm like, I need it.

[B]

It's just for me it's impossible. It was really hard to go back.

[A]

Yeah. So it depends on how much it is.

[B]

Yeah, I won't spend. If it's over a certain point, then I'm like.

[A]

We were looking at some flights coming back on Thursday and some of them, like in the, the prime daytime ones were like four grand. For one way.

[B]

Yeah, like I'm not doing that.

[A]

That's fucking crazy.

[B]

For one way. No. Unless like you're going to Europe but like from even. Yeah, that JFK to LAX and.

[A]

No, that's insane.

[B]

That's ridiculous. Well, do we have any more?

[A]

I've never played this game before.

[B]

Well, let's do a couple cute ones to end.

[A]

Okay, Cute ones. And then we'll wrap it up. You guys.

[B]

Who said I love you first? I hate the answer to this.

[A]

Here's the thing, it's a toss up because I think we both came to the realization, like had an epiphany at the same time. But we were kind of. The energy was like, wait, are we in love? I think I'm in love with you.

[B]

And I kind of started it. So here's my chance to prove I'm also sweet. I did start. And I asked him.

[A]

That's cute.

[B]

Did I ask you or did I just tell you? I think I was like, I think

[A]

you were like, working through it. You were working through it in real

[B]

time, which is something I do. I'm pretty stream of consciousness. Almost everything I think I say out loud to him. So when I was thinking it in my head for the first time, I was like, wait, I'm thinking this in my head right now. And we both agreed together.

[A]

Wait, you like talking? You're the one should have podcast.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I barely talk.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Yet I have a podcast. Yeah, every man does.

[B]

Every man does.

[A]

I said therapy. Nope. I'm starting a podcast.

[B]

Yep, everyone has a microphone nowadays. Wait, two more. Okay, who's more stubborn? Well, we kind of already answered that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's more romantic? Whoa.

[A]

It depends. I have it in me. I'm thoughtful. I can sweep you off the your feet.

[B]

You're romantic.

[A]

I'm pretty romantic.

[B]

But I think I am too with you.

[A]

Sometimes I need to be reminded for, like, the little upkeep.

[B]

Honestly, I would say you're really good, guys. So sweet. I. He's visiting me right now in New York, and when I have work, he comes to my lunch break and he brings me a rose every time. It's the sweetest thing ever. A pink rose, which is my favorite flower.

[A]

That's sweet, Kiki.

[B]

I know. It is so sweet. And when we're in la, he always makes sure I have fresh pink roses on my nightstand on my side of the bed. It's really sweet.

[A]

We've been on. We've been on, like, a tour together. Should we give a shout out to your mom? By the way, Shout out to Mary and Jerry. Mary made the best snack. I think it's a Puerto Rican delight where you grill up spicy.

[B]

No, it's just a my family delight. It's. No one, like, my uncle came up with this snack.

[A]

So you guys, you grill up spicy sausage. I don't eat pork, but I made an exception. If someone makes me a meal with pork, I will eat.

[B]

Eat it.

[A]

But you. You grill it up, get a nice char on it, and then you just dip it in tiger. No, in tiger sauce. Spicy tiger steak sauce. Good on chicken, poultry, fish. And then you dip it in parmesan cheese.

[B]

It's so good. Guys. I've been eating this since I was young. But, yeah, shout out to my parents. We had the best time in Florida with them.

[A]

You only yelled at them twice for chewing loud.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. As soon as we sat down at the table to eat, Schwartz immediately was like, can we put on music? And both my parents were like, yeah, good call.

[A]

Let's do that. She's terrifying.

[B]

No, we were ending it with acknowledging that I'm cute and sweet.

[A]

You're an angel.

[B]

We're playing up the. The joke. Okay.

[A]

We're hamming it up a little bit. Kiki, thanks for. Thanks for riffing with me, you guys. Thanks for tuning in.

[B]

I'm glad we added a little last little segment. That was fun.

[A]

It was super sweet, sappy, sentimental, and I loved it.

[B]

Yeah. And I love you.

[A]

Love you.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Hello and welcome to Pluto Phone. If you knew the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto tv, where all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch.

[B]

Anchorman.

[A]

The Legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix Trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean Girls.

[B]

Shut up. Titanic.

[A]

I'm the king of the world. And so my much more for Showtime's press.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

They're free 24. 7.

[B]

That is so effective on Pluto TV.

[A]

Stream now.

[B]

Pay never.