What Happens At BravoCon Does NOT Stay At BravoCon!

Summary

Detox Retox with Tom Schwartz

Episode: What Happens At BravoCon Does NOT Stay At BravoCon!
Date: November 18, 2025
Host: Tom Schwartz
Notable Guests: Lala Kent, Tom Sandoval, Denise Richards, Jesse Lally, Countess Luann, Brittany Cartwright, Luke, Zach, and more

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Overview

This high-energy episode of Detox Retox is Tom Schwartz’s “audio diary” from BravoCon 2025 in Las Vegas. Tom brings listeners behind the scenes for a frenetic, unfiltered peek at green room antics, cast anxieties, fan encounters, and moments of camaraderie among Bravo’s deeply beloved (and sometimes infamous) stars. Rather than hard-hitting interviews, Tom captures the festival’s “buzz” with a candid collection of mingled conversations, Real Housewives run-ins, and stories about the blurred lines between detoxing and retoxing—in true Schwartz fashion.

The theme: celebration, acceptance, resilience, and a little chaos. Instead of “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas,” Tom reminds us that what happens at BravoCon absolutely gets spread everywhere.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. BravoCon Vibes and Schwartz's Return

• Tom reflects on the "dreamlike" energy of BravoCon, describing the Four Seasons buzzing with Bravo celebs and espresso martinis on day three.
• He shares his gratitude for getting another chance on Bravo, now as a cast member on The Valley:

  "Honestly, it was perfect. It was a dream, maybe a fever dream, but with the most positive connotation possible." (05:18)

• Panel nerves, fan love (“didn’t get booed!”), and the unique thrill of the event surface throughout.

2. Green Room Chronicles

• Highlights include stories of everyone letting loose, Whitney’s legendary trek to the porta potties on a “paper towel red carpet,” and gentle warnings about being overheard by fans and media.
• Schwartz:

  "By day three, everyone lets loose. They let their hair down, literally and figuratively…everyone gets sauced..." (05:44)

3. The Valley’s New/Old Cast Energy

• Lala Kent and Tom talk through joining The Valley from Vanderpump Rules:

  Lala: “Now we’re like the veterans that come into the show and it’s like, oh, wow, you’ve never started a show from season one either.” (12:56)

• They joke about possibly being booed and reflect on humility and second acts:

  Tom: “My second act is powered by all the stupid shit I did and learned from in my first act.” (14:22)

4. Fan Encounters & Starstruck Moments

• Interviews with Denise Richards, Brittany Cartwright, Jesse Lally, Luke, Zach, and more, reveal everyone’s awe at meeting icons, supportive fans, and Bravo’s family-like backstage spirit.
• Denise:

  "Without fans, we wouldn’t have jobs. So it’s fun to see how excited the fans are. Right?" (17:27)

5. Personal Triumphs and New Beginnings

• Sobriety and personal growth: Carl discusses almost five years sober and making bolder fashion choices:

  “As I’ve gotten older and sober, I invest actually in my clothing now… I wear it because it feels good.” (20:24)

• Tom Sandoval reflects on his AGT run, the healing power of music, navigating scandal, and the crowd’s reactions.
• Group recognition of humility—everyone acknowledges being “humbled in spectacular ways” before getting their “second act.”

6. Bravo’s Community & Social Dynamics

• "Retox" is celebrated as "not toxic, just enjoying yourself."
• Stern warnings about the power of the Bravo fandom:

  Lala: "Bravo fans are the best fans in the world… but if you betray them, hopefully they forgive you. But they don’t forget. They never forget." (12:40)

7. Vegas Stories: Highs, Lows, and Legendary Nights

• Anecdotes about lost winnings at the Golden Nugget, late-night antics, modeling convention memories, and “kissing your sister” (an old poker euphemism for breaking even).
• Tom and Sandoval reminisce:

  "I walked away and Tom kept playing and he lost everything… When you have a—when you’re up $1,000 and you’re broke… may as well be a million dollars." (72:47 – 74:32)

8. Music, Performance, and Hidden Talents

• Countess Luann talks cabaret, stage fright, fans, and possibly DJing:

  "Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes." (77:35)

• Tom Sandoval shares about his stage antics and why he surrounds himself with “people who are better than me. Because they inspire me to be better.” (68:28)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Acceptance & Redemption:

  “I pretty much had accepted in my mind… that I wasn’t going to be on Bravo anymore. And now I’m on The Valley, and I didn’t get booed... People are really sweet.” – Tom Schwartz (07:12)

• On Bravo Fandom:

  “They forgive, but never forget. The opposite of what I practice.” – Lala Kent (12:40)

• Coping with Anxiety:

  “I was nervous a lot of the time because when you’re in the green room, you don’t want to… violate someone’s peaceful moment. I did the best I could…” – Tom Schwartz (82:05)

• On Humility:

  “We both been humbled in a spectacular way.” – Lala Kent (13:18)

• Vegas Highs & Lows:

  “I got to say, you slayed it… I was kind of marveling at your way with words. You…always eloquent, borderline poetic.” – Tom Schwartz to Jesse (22:04)

• Petty with a Purpose:

  “I feel like you normalize being petty and you made it okay.” – Tommy to Zach (37:10)
  Zach: “Well, I make it okay because it’s the truth when I say it. And being petty doesn’t mean I’m malicious…there’s a difference.”

• On the Value of Reality TV Honesty:

  Tom Sandoval: “To do it, you do have to bear your soul. Butt, ass, naked soul.” (43:20)
  Schwartz: “Every successful show… it’s because people have fully put everything out there.”

• Most Iconic AGT Reflection:

  Sandoval: "I'm not a singer. I was… you know what I'm saying?" (61:03)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Schwartz’s intro & overview, Vegas arrival:
  [01:00 – 10:00]
• Nerves ahead of The Valley panel, Lala & Tom banter:
  [12:10 – 13:45]
• Denise Richards Interview (“It’s like summer camp!”):
  [16:38 – 19:39]
• Fan power, first-timer energy with Jesse Lally, Vegas storytime:
  [21:28 – 26:41]
• Green room life, paper towels for Whitney’s feet:
  [56:00 – 58:01]
• Tom Sandoval on AGT, music, and scandal recovery:
  [60:04 – 71:49]
• Countess Luann on cabaret, DJing, and stage presence:
  [76:53 – 79:59]
• Schwartz’s closing flight reflection:
  [80:17 – 84:09]

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Tone, Style & Flow

• Schwartz embraces a confessional, irreverently honest, sometimes self-deprecating tone.
• Guests switch between playful teasing, earnest support, and reflective appreciation.
• The episode rolls like chaotic green room banter—fast, unscripted, and affectionate, revealing the Bravo cast’s camaraderie and resilience.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

• This episode is a must for Bravo fans and those curious about backstage realities.
• It’s not about shocking exclusives, but about the “imperfect, beautiful mess” of being in the Bravo family.
• Key takeaways: Even reality TV stars get nervous, love their fans, and are working on growth—even while retoxing with rooftop cocktails in Vegas.

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Bonus: Fun Moments & Running Jokes

• “Kissing my sister”: a euphemism for breaking even, spawned a song on the spot.
• Schwartz’s ongoing anxiety about being booed, and Lala’s determination to milk it if it happens (“I’m a psycho. She wants to be booed!”).
• Teasing Dog Rescue metaphors (“I feel like an old rescue dog and I’ve been rescued…”).
• Tom Sandoval’s obsessive prop budget, full-drag flashbacks, and Sia stories.
• Zach and Schwartz’s mock rivalries over forgotten birthday posts and what it truly means to be petty.

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Conclusion

BravoCon 2025 was a whirlwind for Tom Schwartz—a celebration of survival, reinvention, and friendship. The “detox retox” balance is never perfect, but in the Bravo universe, the mess is the magic. Schwartz leaves fans with gratitude, a little buzz, and the promise: The best is yet to come.

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Notable Guests Featured

• Lala Kent
• Tom Sandoval
• Denise Richards
• Jesse Lally
• Countess Luann
• Brittany Cartwright
• Luke
• Zach

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(Episode skips advertisements, focusing on content-rich, candid moments and rapport between cast members.)

Transcript

[Tom Schwartz]

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[Tom Sandoval]

It's now time for your weekly Retox with Tom Schwartz.

[Tom Schwartz]

Guys, just got back. BravoCon 2025 is a wrap. This is my intro. It was awesome. I never thought I was gonna do Bravocon again, to be honest. So I feel blessed. Truly. It was so fun. We set up the four Seasons in Las Vegas and it was amazing. It's like when you walk in there, I can't help but get starstruck. It's just you're surrounded by every one of your favorite Bravo Labs and the green room is where the magic happens. Give me some grace on this episode, guys. Not my best work. I didn't want to do hard hitting questions. Also, I'm trying to be mindful of people's time and energy. When you're in the green room, you want to relax, decompress. So I'm not trying to bombard them with some investigative journalism. But yeah, I just open Instagram and it was like Tom Sandoval, Lindsay Hubbard, Victoria feuding in the hotel. I don't know when I left everything, everything seemed kosher with Tom. I saw some videos of Shep weighing in on Craig and Paige's relationship. It's always just a reminder. You never know. You got to be careful what you say when you say it. When you're around fans, you never know who's listening. My God, during Scandal, so many people secretly recorded our conversations. But anyways, just a reminder, there is a theme on this podcast. You guys. Detox Retox one week when nourish the mind, body, soul. The next week, we fall apart a little bit in a healthy way. Not toxic. Retox is not toxic. But like, sometimes you just got to give the people what they want, right? I think everyone wants to know a little bit about BravoCon. So yeah, it was a blast. I would say 10 out of 10. I got to hang out with all my favorite people on the flight back, sitting. I mean, you'll see at the end. But yeah, I was sitting in front of Jennifer, Tilly and Sutton, and Denise was on the flight. Sheena, Luke, Kristen. And yeah, it was honestly amazing because I pretty much had accepted in my mind, not like in a defeated sort of way, but I made peace with the fact that I wasn't going to be on Bravo anymore. And now I'm on the Valley, and I didn't get booed when I walked out. I don't know, because people are like, we don't. Don't Vanderpump our Valley. I get it, I get it. But people are really sweet to Lala and myself. I have interviews with her. I don't even know. I just interviewed everybody that was down. Carl, Denise Richards, Countess Luann, Tom Sandoval. Which 5 minutes turned into 35 minutes. So many people. And yeah, man, it's a good one. It's a little, you know, it's a little manic. But I was trying to capture the frenetic energy which was palpable in the green room. It's just. There's such a great buzz in there. By day three, everyone was drinking. I saw so many trays of espresso martinis going in and out of that room. My God, I like day three because everyone lets loose. They let their hair down, literally and figuratively. And you know, everyone. Everyone gets sauced on day three. Either they're just, like, running on fumes or they're just finally just, like, letting loose, having a few cocktails. And it was such a good vibe. I got to reconnect with so many people. Shout out to Andy. Andy, I love you. He's so sweet. He always checks in on me. So how's your girlfriend? So happy for you. Thank you, Andy. And man, it was, honestly, it was perfect. It was a dream and maybe a fever dream, but with the most positive connotation possible. Yeah, I did a lot of panels. This is my busiest BravoCon ever. And I'm so happy to announce that I am on the Valley. Super grateful. It's a lot of the same people who filmed on Vanderpump Rules, so it feels like family. It was a seamless transition, and I'm just stoked. Listen, wouldn't you want to be on a show with a bunch of your friends? That's your job. Yeah, I know. I'm super lucky. Yeah, man. So I won't yap too much. Although I do like my more scripted formal introductions. This is not Going to be one of them. But we'll get back to our regularly scheduled program after this one. Heavy on the detox. Retox this episode. I tried to drink with everybody in the green room. Had a few cocktails, a few shots, and man, it was cool. It was cool. Right before the Bravo Awards, I was on the bus with who's on there? Dorit, Erica Jayne, mj. Shout out to the Shahs, their new show. Really excited about that. You guys see the trailer? It's so good. Sandoval was there too. Who else is on there? It was just such a vibe, honestly. Whitney, hilarious as always. Gosh, she's so funny. Shout out to Justin. She wanted to pee. They have Porta Potties outside the award show and you know, you don't want to go in there barefoot. But her feet were hurting, so we. We rolled out a little. A little. A little, I guess, paper towel, red carpet for her so she didn't get her bare feet dirty. Right? Porta Potties are usually kind of gross. So that was very clean. It did feel like a festival. It feels like a festival. The fans were fucking awesome. Everyone was buzzed, very merry, very merry. And I gave it a 10 out of 10. So again, forgive me if it's a little fragmented or manic this episode. It's just a little audio diary, okay? I wanted to let you guys in, little peek behind the scenes. It was cool. It was. We lived, we left, we loved. I hope you guys dig it. And yeah, man, let's get into it. Okay? BravoCon 2025. Yes, here we go. Wait, one more thing, by the way, when I was on the panel doing Watch what Happens Live, it was the most intense round of Fuck, Marry Kill maybe ever. I was laughing so hard. I was a little tipsy, as was everyone on the stage. Behind the scenes was so fun. But like, I mispronounced Kiki's name. Kiki Barth from Housewives of Miami. If you know, you know I said Kiwi. And by default I think I killed her. Love her, by the way. And I know exactly who she is. I was just a little tipsy. I couldn't see who it was either. Even with my glasses on, I could not see. I couldn't make out the pictures. Like I recognized Lala Alexia. And then I couldn't see, barely. I was like squinting. I. At first I was like, is that Alexia? Who is that? Anyways, shout out to Kiki. I think it was her. It's so hard to see up there with the lights and everything. Even with my Glasses. I was squinting. I couldn't see. But I wanted to apologize formally. So sorry. And yeah, man, also, shout out to Kyle Cook was crushing it on the ones and twos at Hakkasan. Such a good vibe. So fun. A little crazy in there. Not gonna lie. I had a little bit of anxiety. Haven't been going out that much, but I've been a hermit. A little bit of a hermit. But it was so fun, man. I, like, I wanted you guys to be there with me. I guess this is as close as you can get. I think I'm gonna shut up and just play some sound clips. This is my little audio diary again. BravoCon 2025. Here we go, guys. What's up? Okay, so I'm feeling kind of giddy. I. I just left my very posh hotel room at the Four Seasons. I know. Bad and bougie. Headed over to BravoCon. Day one. First panel, the Valley. Peaks and valleys. I'm making my grand entrance. What do you guys think about it? I'm gonna be on the Valley now. This is the first time I've announced it publicly. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like, I don't know. An old dog that just got adopted. An old rescue pup. Sweet, well trained. Not gonna pee or shit on the floor, not gonna bite. Lot of love to give. Feeling, very tenderhearted. And, yeah, also, I'm gonna try to get as many snippets as I can without being obnoxious. So maybe some housewives. Southern charm NYC next, G. Whatever. The summer house gang. I'll get in where I fit in. But this is so fun. I wish I could take you guys with me live. It's Friday right now in Vegas, and I'm feeling funky, feeling fresh. Shout out to my stylist, the Solomon Sisters, but I won't yap too much. What do you guys think of me on the Valley? Can you dig it? I'm easy like a Sunday morning. Come on now, come on now. Accept me, embrace me, love me. I don't want to be needy, but.

[Zach]

I need you guys.

[Tom Schwartz]

All right, I'mma shut up. I'm about to go in, back in our little green room. And maybe I'll get a few sound bites before we hit the panel, hit the stage. All right, I love you guys. I'm going to take you on a little journey. And I better commit. All right. I'm not gonna be meek and meager.

[Zach]

Oh, I don't know. I don't want to bother you, but.

[Tom Schwartz]

No, fuck that. You're Doing my podcast. Is my podcast heavy on the Retox this weekend? All right, we'll pick up in a little bit. I love you guys. Today's episode, Detox Retox is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever find yourself playing the budgeting game? Shifting a little money here, little money there, hoping it all works out. But with the new name your price tool from Progressive, you could be a better budgeter and potentially lower your insurance bill too. You tell Progressive what you want to pay for car insurance and they'll help you find options within your budget. Try it [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates Price and coverage match limited by state law. Not available in all states.

[Lala Kent]

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[Tom Schwartz]

Just.

[Tommy]

Bubbly Lala Lala about to do a snip at Jason. I'm sitting with Jason Lala. We're about to go on stage and announce that we're officially cast members on the Valley. What are your thoughts?

[Zach]

Feelings?

[Tom Schwartz]

Are you nervous?

[Tommy]

What if we get booed?

[Lala Kent]

If we get booed, I'm going to pull the Kim Kardashian where she got booed at the Tom Brady roast and she just waited for them to calm down and she goes, are you guys done? And then just like carried on.

[Tommy]

I hope we don't get booed.

[Lala Kent]

Like there's a high chance that we do shorts and I'm okay with that.

[Tommy]

Bravo fans are the best fans in the world. They're fiercely loyal, they're smart, they're sharp, they're funny. But if you betray them, hopefully they forgive you. But they don't forget. They never forget.

[Lala Kent]

They never forget. They forgive, but never forget. The opposite of what I practice. But you know what? I'm so excited to be announced as like full time cast members.

[Tommy]

Me too. I feel like kind of like a rescue dog. I feel like an old rescue dog and I've been rescued and I'm very happy to be back on Bravo.

[Lala Kent]

I'm happy as well. And guess what, Schwartzy, this is the first time. Because when I went on to Vanderpump Rules, it was like a well oiled machine and I was like the newbie. And now we're like the veterans that come into the show and it's like, oh, wow, you've never started a show from season one either.

[Tommy]

But we didn't come in with any. I feel like we came in with zero ego, both of us. Zero ego.

[Lala Kent]

We were both humbled.

[Tommy]

We both. We both been humbled in a spectacular way. We're going on in, like, five minutes. Anything else? What's going on inside your brain right now?

[Lala Kent]

Oh, my God, nothing.

[Tommy]

You look fucking fly as hell, guys. I'll post a picture.

[Lala Kent]

Post a picture of me looking fine.

[Tommy]

Okay, Rip, if they do boo us.

[Lala Kent]

No, I'm gonna love it.

[Tommy]

You masochist.

[Lala Kent]

I'm a psycho.

[Tommy]

She wants to be booed.

[Zach]

All.

[Tommy]

Jason Caperna. Hey, Tom.

[Tom Schwartz]

You're my friend.

[Tommy]

I am your friend. You're my friend. You look very handsome. Oh, I learned from the best. We're about to go on stage, and I'm about to be announced as a full time cast member on the Valley. I feel like an old rescue dog who's been rescued. How do you feel about my performance? I don't think that season three of the Valley would have even. I think we would have been canceled after two weeks if it wasn't for you joining the cast here. I think we needed you. That was thick with sarcasm. He's obviously joking. I'm hoping.

[Tom Sandoval]

I'm hoping.

[Tommy]

My. My. My second act is powered by all the stupid shit I did and learned from in my first act. Right? I made a lot of stupid mistakes, and I'm rebranding, I'm rebuilding, I'm rebooting. How you feeling about going on stage right now? First, Bravo.

[Tom Schwartz]

Khan.

[Tommy]

I am so nervous. I'm planning to just not really talk. I'm just gonna sit and nodded. Yes and no answers only. That's what they're gonna get from me. That's pretty much my 11 seasons on Vanderpump Rules. My apologies to Danny Pelgrino, but I'm not gonna have answers for you. Dude, how's it been so far? Are you hyped? I'm so hyped. I mean, driving up here, seeing all the. Oh, we gotta go. Oh, we gotta go. We literally gotta go.

[Tom Schwartz]

Okay.

[Tommy]

I'm scared.

[Luke]

I love you.

[Tommy]

Tune in the Bravocon.

[Tom Sandoval]

Love you too.

[Tommy]

And everybody out there, all the listeners.

[Tom Schwartz]

Okay, bye.

[Tommy]

Danny.

[Tom Schwartz]

Nia.

[Tommy]

You guys look fucking fabulous. I'm about to announce myself as a cast member on the Valley. I'm in your world now. I feel like a freshman at a new school.

[Tom Schwartz]

I'm scared.

[Tommy]

What do I do if they boo me?

[Tom Sandoval]

Come on, bro. They're not gonna boo you. And here's the deal. You're a vet, man. This is our first Rodeo. What are you scared about? This is our first time being here. You're vet, man.

[Tommy]

I feel like it's my first day at a new school and I'm scared. Even though I've known you guys a long time and I love you, I'm still scared.

[Lala Kent]

Oh, my gosh. You're gonna have so much fun.

[Jesse]

And we have family in the audience.

[Lala Kent]

So they'll be cheering for you.

[Tommy]

Thank you, Nia. You know, I kinda. I'm like. I like to think of myself as like a goat cheese ball. It's not the best thing on the menu, but it's classic. Always delicious. Not the best thing on the menu. I'm not the best person on reality tv.

[Tom Sandoval]

Very well liked.

[Tommy]

You are very well liked as you are, Dani. Thank you.

[Tom Sandoval]

Thank you.

[Lala Kent]

Yeah, I mean, we love you. So if we love you, everybody else.

[Tom Sandoval]

Is gonna love you.

[Tommy]

Okay. That vote of confidence coming from Nia, honestly, that lifted me up. You are the wind beneath my wings right now, Nia.

[Lala Kent]

Yes. I got you.

[Tommy]

You are strong, you are brave, you.

[Tom Sandoval]

Are confident, you are attractive. You were born to do this. You are chosen.

[Tommy]

Let's freaking rock this out. I needed that motivational pep talk. Thank you, Danny. I'm fired up now.

[Tom Schwartz]

First.

[Tommy]

First. Bravocon. How you feeling so far?

[Tom Sandoval]

Feeling great. Feeling great. I'm just ready to go out and get the energy started.

[Tommy]

Mic job. Nia, how you feeling?

[Lala Kent]

I'm feeling good.

[Jesse]

Let's go.

[Lala Kent]

I mean, we start in a few minutes.

[Tommy]

Let's fucking go.

[Tom Schwartz]

Okay.

[Tommy]

I gotta go. We're getting.

[Tom Schwartz]

I'm getting in trouble.

[Tommy]

We gotta go.

[Tom Schwartz]

I love you guys.

[Tommy]

Denise, BravoCon 2025. Hi. We saw each other in the airport and you said some really sweet things about me, and I just wanted to say thank you. Thank you so much. Honestly, you were like the perfect start to the perfect weekend. How's BravoCon so far?

[Lala Kent]

First of all, thank you for saying that. And Bravocon so far is so great. And seeing a bunch of us from Bravo on the plane and at our hotel, it's like summer camp, right?

[Tommy]

It's like summer camp for Bravo. It's weird. I've known you for a while. I met you at TomTom first. I think we had some tequila together. And I get starstruck when I see you.

[Lala Kent]

You're so sweet. Thank you for saying that.

[Tommy]

I get starstruck when I see you. I've been a fan a long time. How's life? You're good? You look fabulous.

[Lala Kent]

Thank you. Life is good, you know, Shit happens and you just move through it, and it is what it is. But what I love about coming though to BravoCon is without fans, we wouldn't have jobs. So it's fun to see how excited the fans are. Right?

[Tom Sandoval]

I know.

[Tommy]

It's insane. You can feel it. It's palpable. People are hyped. It's frenetic fanatic. And it's, like, one of my favorite weekends of the year. What's your relationship with Vegas like? Do you love it?

[Lala Kent]

You know, I like Vegas for the amount of time we're here.

[Tommy]

Just for a couple days, 48 hours, max. Have you ever? I got married in Vegas. Did you know that?

[Lala Kent]

I did not know that.

[Tommy]

Yeah, me and Katie, well, we had, like, the fairy tale wedding in the woods, and it was dreamy up in North California, but then there's a long story, yada, yada, yada. So we decided to hop on Lisa Vanderpump's plane and we got married at Caesar's Palace.

[Lala Kent]

I did not know you got married here. That's wonderful.

[Tommy]

Do you think you have one more marriage in you?

[Lala Kent]

I think right now I'm gonna say no. It's not the. It's the divorce I don't like. It's not fun.

[Tommy]

Not a fan of divorce. Having gone through it myself, it's not pretty. But I just wanted to say I love to see you thriving. How do you feel about. What's your relationship like with acting now?

[Lala Kent]

Oh, I still act. I love it. I love being on set, and I love the whole collaboration. And that's my first love. And I'm so grateful that I'm still able to do it and have fun with it and meet people and travel. I just love it.

[Tommy]

I do, too. I moved to LA to be an actor. Turns out I'm a shitty actor. It's probably why I ended up on reality tv. I'm okay. I was never great at auditioning.

[Lala Kent]

Auditioning's hard. It's very hard.

[Tommy]

You've had a prolific career. Can I ask you, like, what role do people recognize you the most for?

[Lala Kent]

I think a lot of people. Starship Troopers, because a lot of the military, their fans. And I'm. I'm so excited that the younger generation, my own children, haven't even watched it, but at least the kids their age have. I don't even think they know half of what I've done.

[Tommy]

You're iconic. How's the kids, by the way?

[Tom Sandoval]

Thank you.

[Lala Kent]

They're so good.

[Tom Sandoval]

Thank you.

[Tommy]

I don't want to take up too much of your time I just wanted to say I love you. I'm fanning out. And thanks for sitting down.

[Lala Kent]

I love you too, too.

[Jesse]

Denise.

[Tommy]

Let's have a drink later.

[Lala Kent]

We'll have a drink later.

[Tom Schwartz]

Okay.

[Tommy]

Thank you, Denise. Denise Richards. Oh, my God. I'm starstruck. Okay, guys, in the back room, in the green room, Britney's. Britney just walked up. Britney, what's up?

[Lala Kent]

Hey, Schwarzy.

[Tommy]

How was the panel?

[Lala Kent]

It was great.

[Tommy]

Can. Can you give us a Rotten Hill?

[Lala Kent]

Rotten hail.

[Tommy]

I'm just kidding that I heard that. That's the only thing I heard when I was backstage.

[Lala Kent]

Did you hear my applause whenever they were talking about how me and Jax weren't together anymore?

[Tommy]

I did. I heard that. I heard that.

[Lala Kent]

That was incredible.

[Tom Schwartz]

I felt the love.

[Tommy]

You look gorge. You slayed it. Wait, Carl.

[Luke]

Confirmed. Brittany Cartwright looks phenomenal.

[Tommy]

She does. She looks gorgeous. Mama's got a brand new bag.

[Tom Sandoval]

I love it.

[Luke]

Thank you for having me, Schwartz. It's great to be here.

[Tommy]

Carl, your style is impeccable. Do you do it yourself or do you have a stylist?

[Luke]

I've never had a stylist. I've. Ever since I was a little kid, I've always been like. I would put outfits together, just kind of like. I always like different things. But as I've gotten older and sober, I invest actually in my clothing now. So I like. I buy stuff, I put it together. I get a lot of heat for what I wear, but honestly, I don't really care because I wear it because it feels good.

[Tommy]

You walk the line. It's bold, but it's tasteful and refined.

[Luke]

I try to borrow inspiration from, like, NBA and, like, athletes because they're taller and I watch a lot of what they wear and try to wear the same.

[Tommy]

Dude, you're coming up five years of sobriety as my publicist. Lori just handed me a tequila soda, but I just want to give you a shout out and show some love. Also, I wanted to commend you on Soft Bar. The execution, the vision. It's fucking beautiful. And I'm so sorry I didn't come last time I was in New York.

[Tom Sandoval]

You're good.

[Luke]

Well, no, Tom, I actually, you gave me some really good advice early on in this journey because you had shared some of the stuff you had been through with shorts and sandies and some of the design work you did and just budgeting and all of that. Like, we. I've had a really clear vision from the beginning.

[Tommy]

I'mma pause this. Jesse Lally. Suffice it to say, you Just slayed the press carpet first. Bravo, Con. Thoughts, feelings, prayers, hopes, dreams.

[Tom Schwartz]

First.

[Jesse]

Bravo, Con. Thank God I got to enjoy the carpet with the great Tom Schwartz. We tag team the shit out of that place.

[Tommy]

I got to say, you slayed it. You slayed it, man. I didn't say much.

[Tom Schwartz]

You just.

[Tommy]

I was kind of marveling at your way with words. You do have a way with words. Sometimes a little winded, but always eloquent, borderline poetic.

[Jesse]

Thank you.

[Tom Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Jesse]

I have a tendency to certainly tell every detail of a story, but, yeah, no, it was fun being here. Bravocon. First time, exciting more than I expected. The fans are incredible. The energy. I couldn't even sleep last night, probably because I had 18 martinis, but also because the energy and, like, the adrenaline, and it's wild. Like, you can't even walk to the bathroom right now without having 8,000 photos.

[Tommy]

Oh, it's so fun.

[Tom Sandoval]

It's.

[Tommy]

It's one of my favorite times of the year. It's. It's. It's contagious. It's palpable. You can feel it when you're. It's, like, teeming with energy. And it's.

[Tom Schwartz]

How you.

[Tommy]

How are you doing with people recognizing you and, like, being fans and stuff. I mean, we're old. We're not going to ever make the mistake of thinking we're hot shit. Or do you think you're hot shit?

[Jesse]

No, I mean, I love it. It's still weird to me, Me, three years later, but, you know, I love it. I love people's stories. Like, I had a guy stop me. I was with Isabella at the Grove, just bought her an iPad, taking a video of her. He was like, oh, be careful on the trolley tracks. You don't want to fall. And he comes back over, he taps me on his shoulder, and he's like, yeah, my girlfriend didn't want me to tell you this or say anything, but he's like, I had to say that watching your story and how you dealt with it helped me have those conversations with my girlfriend. We're still together because of it. And I'm like, boom.

[Tom Sandoval]

Aspirational.

[Jesse]

That's why you do it, right? And it's like, you know, for all the bad, bad comments, that one comment that whatever I did or said had that impact on one person is amazing.

[Tommy]

Dude, that was so beautifully stated. One beautiful moment like that is worth a thousand dreadful, nasty comments on Reddit, right?

[Jesse]

It's one beautiful moment like that makes up for the 800,000 people that say, I need to get my teeth fixed.

[Tommy]

I recently got called an alcoholic fart. How do you feel about that?

[Jesse]

I would say I'm probably right there with you.

[Tommy]

No, you're killing it, dude. I guess I gotta say, it's. I don't know if you were destined for this, but it's nice to have you on reality tv.

[Jesse]

I don't know if anyone's destined for this unless.

[Tom Sandoval]

Unless.

[Jesse]

Unless the devil's really coming after them. But here we are. And we're doing the best we can.

[Tommy]

And the best you can is. That didn't come out right.

[Jesse]

The best we can is the best we can.

[Tommy]

Okay, that didn't come out right. Do you still love Vegas? What's your relationship like with Vegas?

[Jesse]

The last time I was here, Vegas fear. Backstreet Boys took a few too many mushrooms. Went looking around my room, realized I was at the Palazzo, not the encore.

[Tommy]

That's iconic, by the way. And I love Vegas stories like that.

[Zach]

Have you ever.

[Tommy]

Best Vegas story. Best Vegas story ever.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Can we go deep? Like back in the early modeling days.

[Jesse]

Oh, I used to come here for the modeling convention. And man, those are wild times. Those were like, those were the times where like you could do whatever you wanted and still make it to your 7am appointment. It was like secret doors at clubs here in Vegas to another club inside of the club. And like, man, it was, it was wild, wild times.

[Tommy]

I remember. Yeah, me and Jax, Tom, we used to drive out here and do like the four or five hundred dollar modeling jobs, you know, the smaller ones, the scraps. But we would stay up all night, show up red eyes. But we still slayed it.

[Jesse]

Yeah, I had some great times here in Vegas. I actually was invited out. Good friend of mine is like the guy with Jennifer Lopez, flew us out here. Michelle and I, when we were together to go backstage for her show with him, stayed on the floor in his suite that Jennifer. And everybody was saying it was a great experience to have that VIP trip treatment for a VIP show like that. And that was a great Vegas story too.

[Tommy]

I love the highbrow and the lowbrow. I love going to a swanky club, Hakasan bottle service. But I also love going to Fremont, getting a beer, putting in a brown bag and maybe, you know, peeing on the side of a wall.

[Jesse]

Well, that I've never done.

[Tommy]

Me neither. I'm just saying hypothetically.

[Jesse]

Hypothetically, yeah. I think we can go to dive bars back home. You come here for the. You come here for the action. You come here for the shopping. You Know I remember. I'll never forget. Michelle was such a big JLO fan that when we came out here after the show, I get videos of her crying because she was like, she was.

[Tom Sandoval]

So moved by it.

[Jesse]

And like, those are little moments, you know, you can come to Vegas, make it your own. You can go to nightclubs, dive bars, you go to michelin starred restaurants. You can shop high end, you can shop low end, you can drink high end, you can drink low end, you can spray champagne, you can drink champagne, you can buy champagne.

[Tommy]

That's what Vegas is all about so far. More Detox or more Retox?

[Jesse]

I mean, I'm gonna try to make it at least one day to the sauna because Vegas is all about detox. No, wait. Vegas is all about Retox and very little Detox.

[Tommy]

Tomorrow we're gonna hit the spa. We're gonna pick up where we left off last time we sat down together. Let's hit the Russian spa. And let's keep on keeping on, baby.

[Jesse]

I think you deserve a beating with those leaves again.

[Tommy]

All right, thanks, brother. I'm sitting next to a very handsome gentleman. He's a dad, maybe even a dilf. I mean, not a. Not a DILF for me, but a DILF in other people's eyes. Fresh off the Valley panel. What's up, Luke?

[Luke]

What's up, Tom?

[Tommy]

First impressions? First Bravocon? Have you been to Vegas before?

[Luke]

Oh, dude, I've been to Vegas a lot, but it's actually not my first Bravocon because I went with Kristen two years ago and it was only a one day thing, but I got to kind of like see from the sidelines what it was going to be like. So there haven't been any surprises yet.

[Tommy]

Hey, do you watch any other Bravo shows? Are you a Housewives fan?

[Luke]

No, I watch the McVie dynasty.

[Tommy]

That's right. That's right. So solid. First impressions. Are you digging it?

[Luke]

I mean, it's pretty cool. Look, the food's good, everyone's nice. It's. It's pretty cool. You know what I mean? Like, you can't really complain about this.

[Tommy]

I just had an interview with Denise Richards and I'm still kind of like shell shocked, star struck. So I'm not doing my best right now.

[Zach]

I.

[Tommy]

Do you know Denise Richards?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes.

[Luke]

Dude, you. You were sitting with her at the freaking airport. I walked up and she looked at me and goes, I feel like I know you. I'm Denise. And I'm like, I know who you are. I didn't say that, but I'm like, yeah, of course I know you are Denise.

[Tommy]

So funny because she knows who you are. She watched, She's a fan of the Valley and she, she, we, we chatted about it, actually. She's so sweet and I wish I could have chatted with her longer. I was a little intimidated.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Luke]

I mean, Denise was so sweet and so, like, humble and just. That feels so weird for me to walk up to Tom Schwartz and Denise Richards and Denise stands up and says, I feel like I know you. I'm like, that's just so weird. The weirdest experience so far.

[Tommy]

Honestly, for me, it is strange. I talked about this, like, when I first got here, I saw Whitney from Housewives of Salt Lake City, which is like they're in the midst of one of their best seasons ever. I'm friends with her and Justin, but I still get starstruck when I see them. Has anybody got you starstruck so far?

[Luke]

No, I, I, I don't know.

[Tommy]

Just say my, just say my fiance.

[Luke]

You know, I'm waiting to see this supermodel Kiana. She's supposed to make an appearance soon. I'll be starstruck if I, if I get the chance to see her.

[Tommy]

How's little baby Kai holding up, by the way? Her in Vegas, watching her be strolled through the casino, all the lights, was one of the cutest things I've ever seen in my life.

[Luke]

Oh, man. She can't be within 10ft of the, of the slot machine, but she can see the lights from 10ft away, so she happy as a clam. Man.

[Tommy]

Where's the Uluzo baby Kaia?

[Tom Schwartz]

Right now?

[Luke]

She is walking with my mom somewhere on the streets of Vegas.

[Tommy]

You have your mom here and everything. Are we going to go see Kyle Cook, DJ tonight at Hakkasan?

[Luke]

Oh, you know, it's between that or getting hammered drunk with Cole and Jesse McBee. So I'm probably going to go get hammered with Jesse and Cole McBee and probably fight a hill.

[Tom Sandoval]

So let's do it.

[Tommy]

Solid choice. Strong choice. Luke, I just want to say I love you, bro.

[Luke]

I love you too, Dom. Dude, this year has been so awesome to actually, it's been hard for our schedules to line up for us to be able to hang out more, but we've always wanted to for years now, and this past year has been awesome. Honestly, it's been great.

[Tommy]

There's one other thing I wanted to touch on before we end this chat. Did I or did I not beat you in ping pong last time we played?

[Luke]

You did beat me in Ping pong. You're the only one, to be honest with you, that's beating me in ping pong at my house.

[Tom Sandoval]

All right.

[Tommy]

I love you, brother.

[Luke]

Love you, brother.

[Zach]

Welcome to Retox. Detox. Detox.

[Tommy]

Detox.

[Zach]

Detox. Retox.

[Tommy]

We're live now.

[Zach]

Welcome to Detox Retox.

[Tommy]

Zach, we're in Vegas, Sin City. Has it been more Detox or Retox?

[Zach]

For me, it's been definitely more Retox. Well, especially last night, but. And as you drink a beer, a.

[Tommy]

Reoccurring theme on the show is Retox has no toxic. It has no toxic connotation. It's just enjoying yourself.

[Zach]

Yeah. And also, it's like. Yeah, like, oh, toxins, blah, blah. No, no. It's just having fun in life.

[Tom Schwartz]

Yes.

[Tommy]

Wait, First. Bravo Con.

[Zach]

First of all, I know rookie season.

[Tommy]

You look here. You look good right now.

[Zach]

Thank you.

[Tommy]

You look fabulous. We just did a photo shoot together. How would you rate yourself?

[Zach]

I would rate myself. I thought I did good because I listened to the director. I feel like he kept going, hey, listen to. And I was like, listen to the director.

[Tommy]

Oh, I thought that was a dig at me.

[Zach]

No, not at all.

[Tommy]

I take direction well.

[Zach]

No, you do. I don't think you heard him. It was funny. It was great.

[Tommy]

Wait, so how you feeling about it? Are you digging it? Are you loving it?

[Zach]

I'm loving it. This is the most fun event, and it's also cool because, you know, the people, the viewers do so much for us, and this is, like, our time to give back to them and see them and kind of give them that interaction that they want.

[Tommy]

But it's so fun because I've known you a long time, and whether or not there's a camera on you, you're always a star. I'm serious. But it's fun to see fans appreciate your. I can't say it.

[Zach]

Genesis qua.

[Tommy]

Thank you. How did you know I was Lisa?

[Zach]

I knew. I knew what you were going for immediately.

[Tommy]

By the way, did you know that Lisa said she wanted to be in.

[Zach]

A throuple with me at this Bravo Con.

[Tom Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Zach]

Wow.

[Tom Schwartz]

She did.

[Tommy]

But anyways, moving on.

[Tom Schwartz]

This is about.

[Zach]

Wait, no, that just blew my mind. That's.

[Tommy]

Wait, Zach. Highs, lows, everything in between. Do you get starstruck when you see different? Like, I got so. I got so starstruck when I saw Mary and Angie K. And everyone from the Housewives of Salt Lake City.

[Zach]

You know what's funny is I don't get starstruck by people in General, like, celebrities, whatever. I'm just not one of those people that's, like, super starstruck. I'm like, oh, I really appreciate your art or whatever. But I will say, when I saw Phaedra and Kim Zolciak and the girls from Atlanta and. And quad from marriage, I really. I was like. And they knew my name. And I'm like, that, to me, was crazy. We're. We're getting bused back from the Bravos, and Denise Richards is walking past, and she looks down at me and she goes, I love you on your show. And I was like, denise Richards knows who I am. Like, it's crazy to think that these people know who I am.

[Tom Schwartz]

No.

[Tommy]

By the way, I love Denise Richards.

[Zach]

She's so sweet.

[Tommy]

You know, I interviewed her on the podcast.

[Zach]

Oh, did you?

[Tommy]

Yeah. And she was so sweet to sit down with me. We kept it light, but I'm like, I love her.

[Zach]

She's so sweet.

[Tommy]

She's a Bond girl.

[Zach]

She's the best.

[Tommy]

People forget that she's an iconic actress.

[Zach]

No, I was like, Wild Things was my. Like, I was trying. Like, when I was still trying to be straight, I was like, yeah, Wild Things is my favorite movie, but I did love it.

[Tommy]

She was good. That is so funny. Wait, do you have any other secret, like, tight bonds with people in the Bravo verse that I don't know about? Are you cheating on me?

[Zach]

I wouldn't. Number one. I would never cheat on you. I feel like coming into the. Coming into Bravo con, the only other Bravo lab that I really talked to, I knew I'd met Carl Radke forever ago when him and Sheena almost hooked up. You know, that whole. That whole era.

[Tommy]

Ancient history.

[Zach]

I was like, ancient history. But, like, I had met him back then and we've been friends since, but other than him, I. I've. I've never met anyone. The McBees, I hadn't met them before this.

[Tommy]

Oh, I thought you were tight with them.

[Zach]

No, no, I just met them at this Bravo con.

[Tommy]

Okay.

[Tom Schwartz]

We did.

[Tommy]

We did a photo op with them. And they're so cool. They're so cool, by the way. I didn't know. They're already three seasons in. I'm about to go.

[Zach]

Because Bravo bought it from another network and so they.

[Tommy]

There.

[Zach]

They already had filmed season two and that. And then they pushed. Yeah.

[Tommy]

Did you know Britain's a producer on that show?

[Zach]

I know. Which is so crazy.

[Tommy]

She's a producer on the Valley.

[Zach]

She's amazing producer on the Valley, and we love her. And yeah. And she's now on theirs.

[Tommy]

For now, I think you're the star of the Valley.

[Zach]

I mean, I would disagree with you if it wasn't true.

[Tommy]

Wait, no, I think.

[Zach]

You know what? We're all stars. Here's the thing. When people want it, like when you want to go solo, yes, there's a Beyonce every once in a while, but in general, going solo, why do that? We're an ensemble cast. It's our show. I hated Jax's attitude back in the day. You know, I know we're not talking about that, but I'm just saying, like, I hated that. Like, me.

[Tommy]

Jax is iconic. He makes great tv. But I understand, but you know what.

[Zach]

I mean, it's like the me, me, me. No, no, I don't have an ego. I think let's all thrive together. You know what I mean? It's our show. Let's make it the best we can.

[Tommy]

I love that.

[Zach]

And I love that you now being on next season, which I can't wait for people to see.

[Tommy]

I came in very humbly. I was a little. Not meek, but I was just. I just wanted to, you know, I came in with no ego.

[Zach]

Well, it's crazy because you and Lala are our friends for years and years and years. So this is the, like, a natural progression. It ain't like you guys are new people. Like, you and I hang out more. More than anybody. Like, we hang out all the time before you came on season three. It. It just is natural.

[Tommy]

Yeah. If you guys don't know Zach, like, during some of the darker moments of my life, Zach was very supportive at TomTom. And I didn't even tag you in that one post. My most recent TomTom post.

[Zach]

Oh, I know.

[Tommy]

Oh, oh, I know.

[Zach]

I'm still. I'm still like, okay. Oh, and my birthday post, you forgot. You, like, texted me, oh, I'm going to do this. And I was like, okay, cool. And then you never did.

[Tommy]

I forgot to do your heart for your birthday.

[Zach]

Okay. You know, maybe next year. Maybe next year you'll appreciate our friendship.

[Tom Schwartz]

Moving on.

[Zach]

I'm just kidding.

[Tommy]

Most iconic moment so far thus far in this. Bravo.

[Tom Schwartz]

Con.

[Zach]

Most iconic moment to meet. Yeah, well, I just. I think Denise Richards watch walking past me and saying, like, I love you. Or like, I walk up to somebody to, like, introduce myself and they're like, oh, no, I know who you are. And I'm just like, what? It's. It's mind blowing.

[Tommy]

But you've been on TV two years. What do people most wreck? What's your most memorable line that people reference.

[Zach]

Oh, I mean, it's petty with a purpose for sure. Crocker shit boots, though. That is what people say the most. They're like, I loved Crocker shit boots.

[Tom Schwartz]

That's a.

[Tommy]

Literally, I feel like you normalize being petty and you made it okay.

[Zach]

Well, I make it okay because I. Because it's the truth when I say it. And being petty also mean it doesn't mean I'm malicious. There's a difference between being malicious and petty and just being petty and fun and light hearted. And I think that's where some people take it to that malicious point. And that's where it's not cute.

[Tommy]

Thank you for distinguishing that. Because there is a difference. It's fun to be petty. It's fun to talk shit and gossip. But when you're malicious, it's petty with.

[Zach]

Malice and petty with light.

[Tommy]

What else do you want to say?

[Zach]

No, I mean, I think this probably has just been so much fun.

[Tommy]

It's just like fun. It's the day, guys. Day three and means. Are you going to do drag brunch after this?

[Zach]

We're doing drag brunch. While I'm doing drag brunch, you still have a little. A couple. Few more things under your belt to get done, but do.

[Tommy]

And I'm looking over at Lindsay right now. She looks fabulous.

[Zach]

But I will say, when you go to the casino later, let's win some money.

[Tommy]

Let's win some goddamn money.

[Tom Schwartz]

Zach. I love you.

[Zach]

I love you more.

[Tom Schwartz]

I love you. Mean it.

[Zach]

See you on season three.

[Tom Schwartz]

Love you.

[Tommy]

Mean it.

[Zach]

Love you.

[Tom Schwartz]

Mean.

[Tommy]

Isn't the Tom to my Tom.

[Tom Sandoval]

Your mom was so wild that night. No, Tom, stop.

[Lala Kent]

Stop.

[Tommy]

Okay, Per.

[Tom Schwartz]

Per.

[Tommy]

Not only myself, but the general public. We'd like for you to stop singing the song about my mom.

[Tom Sandoval]

Wait, no, I don't think that's the case, actually. Yeah, that's when all the phones come out.

[Tommy]

I mean, my mom actually does love that. All joking aside, she thinks it's so sweet.

[Lala Kent]

It is.

[Tom Sandoval]

Your mom's so sweet, dude.

[Tommy]

She's an angel.

[Tom Sandoval]

She is an absolute dude. That's exactly what I say after I sing that song every single time. Schwartz's mom. I was like, her name is Kim and she's an absolute angel.

[Tommy]

She's an earth angel, and I love her more than anything in the world. Tom, we're about to do a mini Retox day two. Bravo con. We're about to hit some tequila. Yeah, a little bit of patron. You're just right There.

[Tom Sandoval]

Oh, shit. Here we go.

[Tommy]

Okay, guys, how you feeling?

[Tom Sandoval]

I'm feeling great, man. Feeling good. Feeling great, Feeling great. Feeling good. How are you?

[Tommy]

How the panel. Wait, can we talk about the Traders panel?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

So you. You committed to the bet?

[Tom Sandoval]

I did.

[Tommy]

You talk me through it?

[Tom Sandoval]

It was my drag moment. It was my 2019 drag moment of 2025.

[Tommy]

Is this part of the rebrand? You've been more subdued this year. Like, your style is impeccable. You look really good, but it's.

[Tom Sandoval]

Dude, thanks, man. No, not great as well.

[Tommy]

You're not peacocking. You don't have your usual over the top flare.

[Tom Sandoval]

No, I did not wear a skirt this year.

[Zach]

That's what.

[Tommy]

But no, I love the style. Wait, talk me through the Traders panel. How'd it go?

[Tom Sandoval]

It went great, man. It went really well. I felt like I. I got to say my piece, and I brought a doll that, by the way, is really flexible and fully functional.

[Tommy]

Yeah, he's okay.

[Tom Sandoval]

I don't. No, no, it's great.

[Tommy]

It's the scariest doll I've ever seen in my life.

[Lala Kent]

I spent.

[Tom Sandoval]

I spent. I spent like, two hours curling her hair.

[Tommy]

Tom. I. I watched Traders, but I. I don't know the doll reference.

[Tom Sandoval]

Are you serious?

[Tommy]

Talk us through that. For people who don't know that. Tom Sandoval in the house. We're in the green room surrounded by beautiful Bravo liberties. But I did. I don't get the doll reference, so.

[Tom Sandoval]

I can't believe that.

[Tom Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Was it like every single person that.

[Tom Sandoval]

We just did, people dressed up as my dollhouse challenge on for Halloween.

[Tommy]

So, guys, a little context. We just did Bravo Paloozo. It's a meet and greet. It's a mixer. You hang out, mingle, have drinks with fans, take pictures. And every person that came up to you wanted you to. They referenced the doll. And then so.

[Tom Sandoval]

So there was this challenge, and none of us thought it was going to. So, you know when you're on a show like Traitors or any show, like I just said, House of Villains, some of the challenges, they might fall flat, right? The clown one did on our season, but the dollhouse one, they put us. They take us to a dollhouse, and they have them sing lullabies. So the dolls sing lullabies, and you have to sing them into. We had to grab a dollar, sing them into a phone. Then, like Dylan Efron.

[Tommy]

Shout out to Dylan who's crushing it on Dancing with the Stars right now.

[Tom Sandoval]

Dancing with. A lot of people are crushing it. Him. Alex. Yeah, girl from Mormon wives. H. But yeah, the ever. There's. It's a great season.

[Tommy]

We'll come back to that. Cuz I'd love to see you on there. But wait, you were saying?

[Tom Sandoval]

So. So I'm like sitting there on the phone with like. And I have to sing what the doll is singing and then they have to sing it into a recorder that plays because it's singing backwards and then it plays it forward. So I was trying to just do like the tones.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Tom Sandoval]

And it was like. Like it was like that.

[Tom Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Tom Sandoval]

And so I was just trying to. And everybody else was just trying to get a shield and I took it very seriously. And I like to sing these tones and. But like, nobody ever. I was like, apparently I'm the only one musically inclined here. I'm gonna. I attacked it like, hard. I went after it.

[Tommy]

And Traders is so good, by the way. I feel like that was a turning point for you, I think. Dude, I saw so much love and positivity online after show. We've already talked about this.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

But seriously, so much love. I'm not gonna say you're beloved. No, me neither. Myself included. But like, I saw that. I like, I saw a shift in sentiment online. It was really sweet. I know you felt that in your heart probably.

[Tom Sandoval]

I did. I did. It was really awesome. It was, it was. It meant I met. Meant the world to me, and it always means the world to me. And being here at BravoCon, I can tell you, like, no matter what, you know, everybody here, like, you know, obviously movies, acting like is. Is different than really putting yourself out there. You will always be judged. You always be. You know what. What we know is in real life, the stakes are always higher.

[Tommy]

When you say. I think what you're saying is you commend everyone who's on who because to make a successful show, you have. I was talking about this with Erika Jayne on the bus.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Over to the Bravo Awards last night.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

To do it, you do have to bear your soul.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Butt, ass, naked soul.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Right.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

And every successful show, if. If it is successful, it's because people have fully put everything out there.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

And there's value in that.

[Tom Sandoval]

In every conversation that is filmed for two hours gets edited down between two to five minutes. And they can take that any direction they want to. You know that.

[Tommy]

Well, but we also know better than to ever cry editing.

[Tom Sandoval]

No, of course.

[Tommy]

We never do that.

[Tom Schwartz]

What?

[Tom Sandoval]

Of course. But you know, sometimes things are a slow burn and not an immediate ignite.

[Tommy]

Yes.

[Tom Sandoval]

You know what I mean?

[Tommy]

Isn't it nice to be here and not get booed? Yeah, it is.

[Tom Sandoval]

Thanks, Schwartz. I'm just kidding.

[Tommy]

No, but, dude, I see people. First of all, people have always, always loved you, even through some darker times. That's the thing I always explain. In my opinion, Bravo fans are the most.

[Tom Sandoval]

Wait, I did. I did tell you that this style.

[Tommy]

Is fully functional, right?

[Tom Sandoval]

Okay, all right, all right.

[Tommy]

Bravo fans are probably some of the most ruthless online, but they're the sweetest in person, aren't they the best fans in the world in person.

[Tom Sandoval]

You guys, one of my favorite things, me and Schwartz just had a photo op. One of my favorite things was just.

[Tommy]

Saying really, like, inappropriate things to make.

[Tom Sandoval]

Me not inappropriate, but no, just for.

[Tommy]

You to feel really uncomfortable. They're kind of under the radar, but it's just a enough to make me feel awkward. And thank you for sabotaging me for the entire meet and greet.

[Tom Sandoval]

I got you a drink though, too.

[Tommy]

Thanks for that, by the way.

[Tom Schwartz]

You're.

[Tom Sandoval]

You're welcome.

[Tommy]

America, what's been your.

[Tom Sandoval]

That made you feel awkward too?

[Tommy]

Now you know what? Now I'm going to ask you a stock question as retribution.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. Okay.

[Tom Schwartz]

Punish.

[Tom Sandoval]

Let's go.

[Tommy]

What's been your favorite part of BravoCon? He loves the stock, right?

[Tom Sandoval]

My favorite part of Bravo con was honestly.

[Tommy]

Oh, ever. Let's go.

[Tom Schwartz]

Ever.

[Tom Sandoval]

Oh, ever. Oh, dude. The first Bravo con, everybody. There were people posting about it. You remember this shit they were posting? It was in New York and. Okay, all right, I got a couple favorite moments. First of all, 2019 Bravo Con was so small. Like, we didn't know what it was going to be. And honestly, like, we. What other network could do a con like this? No. What other network?

[Tommy]

No, we have the best fans in the world.

[Tom Sandoval]

What a brilliant, brilliant idea. But you know what? People were talking, they're like, oh, Bravo con. Like con artists, like, like playing on the con part. And I'm like that. I literally showed up in full blown drag in the seal wig and had so much shapewear on. That was one of my favorite moments. That was on the Friday. So it was day one of the very first Bravo con. I was like, I'm gonna kick in the door.

[Tommy]

You commit to a bit. For better or for worse. That took you like three hours to get ready, right?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes, at least.

[Tommy]

Also, also, Tom, you've. You've met Sia.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes, I have. Sweet, sweet, sweet girl.

[Tommy]

I have really cute pictures that you sent me from her. She always covers her face, right?

[Tom Schwartz]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

It's so cute.

[Tom Sandoval]

She's so sweet. Sia is awesome. What a talented musician and just amazing person, by the way.

[Tom Schwartz]

Amazing.

[Tom Sandoval]

Shit.

[Tommy]

Sorry, we ordered some more drinks. We're retoxing right now.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, we're retoxing. It's Vegas, by the way. Just. I want to give everybody a little bit of. A little bit of advice when you know it's not going to be a bad joke. When you come to Vegas, you got to bring a. You have to bring a humidifier. Vegas or New York, you have to bring a humidifier.

[Tommy]

That sounds adjacent.

[Jesse]

No.

[Tommy]

What do you mean, no? No, it's to the common. To the common person.

[Tom Sandoval]

To the coming here. I've been watching Outlander, by the way.

[Tom Schwartz]

It's good.

[Tom Sandoval]

Come in here.

[Tommy]

My mom loves that show.

[Jesse]

I love that.

[Tommy]

Obvious. Because it's dry heat here.

[Tom Sandoval]

No, because I have trouble sleeping. Because my, like, my nostrils hurt. My, like, throat hurts from, like, the dryness. And it's the same way in New York, especially in the winter. In New York in the winter, it's really annoying. It's really annoying. But when you're in New York, you think you can't. You can't buy, like, wool sweaters in la, right? But you can't buy wool sweaters in New York either, because you walk into any place, a bar in New York and it's 77 degrees. As soon as you walk in there, you got a leg. It's so annoying.

[Tommy]

Listen, you guys, sorry for this tangent, but I hate when you're in a cold climate and you walk in, they overcompensate. It's 85 degrees inside. Nobody wants that.

[Tom Sandoval]

Nobody fucking wants that.

[Tommy]

We have breaking news.

[Tom Sandoval]

What?

[Tommy]

I just found out moments ago. Lisa did a panel and she said if she could be in a throuple with anyone in the Bravo verse, I would be a part of it.

[Tom Sandoval]

What?

[Tommy]

Like, I would be a teddy bear.

[Tom Sandoval]

But your dick doesn't even work.

[Tommy]

Okay? We're leaving that in. My dick works.

[Tom Sandoval]

By the way, for the record, his dick works fine, okay?

[Tommy]

That is a deep cut throwback, dude. Wait, Tom, trust me, guys.

[Tom Sandoval]

This stick works fine.

[Tommy]

Trust me, trust me.

[Tom Sandoval]

Wait, Kyle, you know Cook, you know Schwartz's thick works great, right?

[Tommy]

Wait, so wait, dude, Kyle Cook crushed it at Hakkasan last night. This is such a vibe. Wait, do you get starstruck by anybody in the Bravo verse? I got starstruck by Mary Crosby and Angie K. And Erica Jane. And she looks chic. No, she didn't drink it with us. She didn't drink with us.

[Tom Sandoval]

Dude, you know what's crazy. I did, ladies. I did.

[Tommy]

We were on the bus with mj, Erica, Jane, and Dorit.

[Tom Sandoval]

Dorit. Dorit was on the bus.

[Tommy]

Yes.

[Tom Sandoval]

Victoria, my girlfriend, Dorit.

[Tommy]

Oh, Dorit is iconic cigarette moment. Oh, my God.

[Tom Schwartz]

And she.

[Tommy]

Cigarette. She flawlessly executed.

[Tom Sandoval]

That was the best. I think that was my favorite acceptance speech.

[Tommy]

Do you think maybe. Maybe in a different time, back in 2017, 18, we would have won best duo?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, we would have. You know what? If Bravo con would have happened in. In 2018, we would have driven on stage in the motorcycle sidecar. And in fact, Schwartz, let's do it next year.

[Tommy]

I mean, it gets really hot in there, you guys. One thing about.

[Tom Sandoval]

No, no, no. It over.

[Tommy]

It overheats easily.

[Tom Sandoval]

I'll just. I'll just have it brought out here.

[Tommy]

Oh, that would be. Yeah, you would.

[Tom Sandoval]

I will.

[Tommy]

Tom will do something that'll cost him 15, 20 grand later for five minutes of glory. And I love that about you.

[Tom Schwartz]

You.

[Tommy]

It will stress you out for weeks.

[Tom Sandoval]

Do you know where the motorcycle sidecar came from? The motorcycle sidecar came from, like, me and you being drunk before TomTom opened. And, like, we're like, what's the way we. And we. And like, one of us brought up a motorcycle sidecar and then once. Once you planted that seed, dude. Schwartz is also an expert seed planner, by the way.

[Tommy]

Oh, yeah.

[Tom Sandoval]

So he likes to plant seeds in my head and then I, like, get balls deep and, like, carry it out.

[Tommy]

You have to take advantage of Tom's OCD sort of ADHD tendencies because he will go. He will forget everything else in his life and get that sidecar made. Dude.

[Zach]

I did.

[Tommy]

Imported from Miami.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes.

[Tommy]

20K later repainted.

[Tom Sandoval]

Went to a motorcycle class on the weekend in between filming you guys, for.

[Tommy]

Instance, the old bad makeup.

[Tom Sandoval]

But we've about talked.

[Tommy]

Talked about this. But, like, we, me and Tom put that together. We produced that. We had to hire Emmy nominated makeup artists.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes. Three days out, there were people that were like, little. Yes. Emmy nominated makeup artists.

[Tommy]

Like, we threw them out, we put them up.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. And. And spiraled, but in the best way possible. And I remember I hired him because, you know, Jack says, major add.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Tom Sandoval]

And we. And we were filming the whole, like, makeup process, and we couldn't have the TV on, so I hired a magician. I remember, to entertain us in the room while we're getting our five hours of makeup.

[Tommy]

It was so funny because Jax was a good sport, but then in. In retrospect, he's like, you guys ruined my bachelor party. He was so Mad about having. Because to take the makeup off took out two hours.

[Tom Sandoval]

God, you guys. Just so you know, like when, like for instance, Jim Carrey. The mask. When you, when you put that kind of makeup on it, you can't just rip your mask off you. It has to be dissolved very slowly. I was fully passed out and I was fully passed out. And they had to slowly massage the. The dissolving of the. The it's prosthetic off my face.

[Tommy]

No, it was painstaking. By the way. You notice on that note, you notice watched the other day. What While I was in the gym. Ace Ventura. The first one. Is your. Is your number still 91 1? But you know what it reminded me of is you had. When I first met Tom and I moved in there. Iconic moment. But you always had a signed picture of Jim Carrey. How did you get that again?

[Tom Sandoval]

So, so okay.

[Tommy]

How did you get that?

[Tom Sandoval]

So I was in 8th grade and our. Our assignment was. You have to write to somebody Famous people wrote to everybody. Pamela Anderson, Johnny Depp, all these people. Out of the five classes that this woman that she taught, I was Pamela Anderson. Wrote back, pamela Anderson, you're the. My girlfriend loves you, by the way. You and Liam Neeson. Oh, my God.

[Tommy]

I watched it on the plane.

[Tom Sandoval]

Absolutely loving it.

[Tommy]

I watched it on the plane. We're talking about Naked Gun.

[Tom Schwartz]

It's so good.

[Tom Sandoval]

It's so good.

[Tommy]

It's as good as it possibly could have been. We'll come back to that.

[Tom Sandoval]

Somebody's so serious. No, but anyways, I love Pamela Anderson. She's awesome. My girlfriend loves Pamela Anderson. Victoria does.

[Tommy]

But was it a class assignment?

[Tom Sandoval]

So it was a class assignment. And Pamela. Pamela, you wrote back. And that was amazing. But I wrote to Jim Carrey and I was so inspired by him. I remember when he's. He used to write himself a check. He wrote himself a check for a million dollars scope to the top of Mulholland and sit there and believe that he was so good that he like. Did he.

[Tommy]

So if you guys don't know, Jim Carrey used to go up to the top of Mulholland Drive, which we've done.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

And we didn't write checks. We just took mushrooms. But no, but he used to go write and check. He wrote himself a check. Check for $10 million.

[Tom Sandoval]

It was a million.

[Tommy]

It was a million.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. And he said you make himself believe that he was a successful actor. And manifest before. Manifesting was manifesting. This was like mid early 90s. And. And then. So I. I love that story. And I loved one Spitting, the. That vampire movie that he did. And when he finally got his, I wrote to him and I was like, dude, I'm so, so happy for you. I'm so. You are finally getting the recognition that you deserve. You're so talented.

[Tommy]

And I wrote this.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Tom Sandoval]

And then he sent back a signed picture and it said, thank you very much.

[Tommy]

It was always.

[Tom Sandoval]

This was literally as the Mask is airing and in theaters, you guys, when.

[Tommy]

I first moved in with Tom and he was dating Kristen, it was on your wall, friends. It was on your wall by your bed.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, right? Yes.

[Tommy]

And I always thought that was so cool.

[Tom Sandoval]

Corner.

[Tommy]

I love that. Dude, do you miss acting at all?

[Tom Sandoval]

I mean, I'm so good at it.

[Tommy]

I mean, dude, you. Here's the thing. If you, if you were to go watch Tom's library of work, you might be like, okay, maybe hang it up. But here's the thing. He's actually a good actor. You're a good actor. I feel like you just haven't found the right role. I'm not even joking.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. Although.

[Tommy]

23 minutes to sunrise.

[Tom Sandoval]

Thanks, man.

[Tommy]

Man, you really did hit your stride in the pit in the Pendulum.

[Luke]

You guys.

[Tommy]

You guys need to go watch the pit in the Pendulum. I just, Yeah, I just met Angie and Mary. And I saw Mary again, and I'm so starstruck. Yeah, I, I, I did a hard post, a hard launch on me from.

[Tom Sandoval]

6 to 6 to 12.

[Tommy]

Dude, I don't know what that means.

[Tom Sandoval]

Few times.

[Tommy]

What's that mean?

[Tom Sandoval]

You don't know one from six to 12.

[Tommy]

Okay, okay, frat boy.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, okay.

[Tommy]

Frat boy humor. Dude, what are we doing next?

[Tom Schwartz]

Me and your.

[Tommy]

Sorry, guys.

[Tom Sandoval]

We're doing a little.

[Tommy]

Okay, you guys hear.

[Tom Sandoval]

You guys can leave.

[Tommy]

I'm going to turn the volume up.

[Tom Schwartz]

Listen.

[Tommy]

You guys hear that?

[Tom Schwartz]

Guys, we're in the green room and.

[Tom Sandoval]

Wait, Victoria's mom's here?

[Tom Schwartz]

Yeah, Victoria's mom's here.

[Tommy]

So the green room is where all the Bravo, Liberty come and chill. They have a cocktail, they schmooze, they let their hair down. Yeah, everyone's hooking up.

[Tom Sandoval]

It's like a massive hooking up.

[Countess Luann]

It's a match.

[Tommy]

Bacchanalian orgy.

[Tom Sandoval]

That's. Yeah, dude.

[Tommy]

No, I'm just kidding. No, no. But, Tom, let's look around the room right now.

[Tom Sandoval]

Best dressed.

[Tommy]

Best dressed award so far.

[Tom Sandoval]

So far. I mean, I gotta give it to Mary.

[Tommy]

I know I'm partial, but. Because I just met her and I had a panel.

[Tom Sandoval]

Anybody is. To be honest, you Don't.

[Tommy]

You don't watch any other shows?

[Tom Sandoval]

No, I really don't.

[Tom Schwartz]

Guys.

[Tommy]

The. The, you know, summer house guys, first of all, here.

[Tom Sandoval]

Here's something that knocked the cool out of my walk, but in the best way possible. I almost like, oh, my son's going to. I was carrying her train. I was carrying her train. And it was heavy as last night after the awards because I was like, I'm carrying this for you. And. And then she's like, my son will come pick it. Pick it up. He's in college. I'm like, excuse me, your son's in college, dude? She's like, I'm 50 years old. I'm like, what? 47.

[Tommy]

She looks amazing, dude.

[Tom Sandoval]

She looks way younger than me.

[Tommy]

We had a really cute moment. So I love Whitney, but I'm a big fan of Housewives of stuff Salt Lake City. And I've known Whitney for a while. We had a really cute moment with her. She was like. She had to pee and she did.

[Tom Schwartz]

Her feet.

[Tommy]

Her feet were killing her.

[Tom Sandoval]

Oh, dude, you didn't. You didn't stay. I. I fully sat there.

[Tommy]

Oh, you waited. So let's give them some.

[Luke]

Go ahead.

[Tommy]

So me and Tom laid out, essentially, a paper towel red carpet for her.

[Tom Sandoval]

All right, all right. The older audience will know this. Coming to America, the. The flower petals. Whenever. Like, we did the flower petals for her, and coming to America with paper towels, she could walk.

[Tommy]

So her feet. Her feet were really hurting. Whitney's feet were hurting really bad from her heels. She's barefoot and she wanted to pee, but you don't want to go barefoot.

[Tom Sandoval]

Into a porta potty.

[Tommy]

It's a nice porta Potty ones. It's still a porta potty, but.

[Tom Sandoval]

And it was early in the night, so there was no piss on the floor. I gotta be honest. There was no piss on the floor, but we didn't know. And we fully. At Fully, fully laid out the. Like, she. Her feet never touched the ground. And I made sure. And there was a guy there. The. One of the guys were one of the handlers, which. The handlers have been great here, by the way.

[Tommy]

Everybody's.

[Tom Sandoval]

Shout out to David. Awesome. But anyways, he's like, I'm gonna put my jacket down, Mike. Absolutely not. So we put down paper towels, and then she's like, all right, you gotta. You gotta sing something. I'm like, you are my fire the one desire Believe when I say I.

[Tommy]

Want it that way and we listen.

[Tom Sandoval]

She's still peeing.

[Jesse]

Literally.

[Tom Sandoval]

We're still Peeing. I'm still singing to still being.

[Tommy]

Cuz I think a lot of, generally speaking, a lot of people. I like noise when I'm peeing or going to the bathroom or. Yeah, I don't, I don't want, I don't want to pee in silence.

[Tom Sandoval]

Dude, I'll never forget when I did special Forces. I. I wanted to break the awkwardness of taking. Cuz you had to. In a bucket with like wood panels next to you.

[Tommy]

Literally in a bucket.

[Tom Sandoval]

Literally in a bucket. And I was like. I immediately was like, I am not about to like, like be running five miles with like a full intestines full of. So I like went over there right away and I was like just straight up pooped right in front of everybody.

[Tommy]

Have you talked to Jojo recently? Remember we had that. We had her on the podcast together.

[Tom Sandoval]

For the first time and I used to sing. I want it that way. I was like, you and it's not on, it's not on camera because I was. It's not a cleared song.

[Tommy]

Wait, you just made me think of something.

[Tom Sandoval]

What?

[Tommy]

Now that you've had some time to reflect on agt, how do you feel about it?

[Tom Sandoval]

You know what?

[Tommy]

It was there, by the way.

[Tom Sandoval]

Double edged sword, man.

[Tommy]

It was, it was pretty awesome. You had some audio issues, did you?

[Tom Sandoval]

Major, major audio issues.

[Tommy]

Like it sounded like there was no reverb.

[Tom Sandoval]

None. Absolutely. Dude, when you're singing. First of all, I didn't even want to sing the weekend but second of.

[Tommy]

All, tough song to sing when you're.

[Tom Sandoval]

Singing the weekend, which is like right in my like not comfort zone.

[Tommy]

You need a lot of rever that song. Except for the weekend by the way.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. With a ton of reverb and echo delay.

[Tommy]

Why did you choose that song?

[Tom Sandoval]

Because I couldn't do an 80s song, which I would have done cuz I already done an 80s song. And also why would they like, why would they. The story that they painted is like Tom is pursuing his, his dreams as a singer and it's like I'm not a fucking singer. I'm a performer. I don't like there. There were singers out there. There was a girl out there. God, I can't remember her name, but she has a five octave range.

[Tommy]

Yeah.

[Tom Sandoval]

Beautiful singer. She does cruise ships. She's amazing. She goes out there, she closes her eyes, she sings her fucking nuts off. I am not a singer. I was.

[Tommy]

You're not?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, dancing. I was lower down while playing trumpet. I was. You know what I'm saying?

[Tommy]

Like if you talk about this. You're like humble, but you're like, I don't have the best voice in the world.

[Tom Sandoval]

I don't.

[Tom Schwartz]

Performer.

[Tommy]

I'm a performer. Yes. I think your voice is great, but you know, you're. You're self aware.

[Tom Sandoval]

I'm not like. Yeah, I'm not a samurai sword.

[Tommy]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[Tom Sandoval]

Actually.

[Tommy]

You're a wedding singer.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. I mean, dude, you guys, our last tour, man. Dude, I was so, so on the. On the last tour, we.

[Tommy]

This is the one after we went on.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was in. I was in Cincinnati and there was. We were at house of Blues. Right, and so there's like a balcony upstairs, right? Yeah, there's a balcony upstairs. Yeah.

[Tommy]

You want to say something?

[Lala Kent]

What's the podcast for?

[Tom Sandoval]

It's for kids across America.

[Lala Kent]

I love kids across America. Hi, it's Emmy. Share it.

[Countess Luann]

I don't.

[Lala Kent]

Don't know what I am here to talk about, but this is for the kids across America and I love hockey and I get it. Back to Tom.

[Tommy]

Anything else you want to say?

[Tom Sandoval]

Best.

[Tommy]

Best part of Bravo con so far.

[Lala Kent]

Best part of bravicon so far has been Ben The Bravos last night. I love the watch what happens live. I love the housewives.

[Tommy]

Sierra love Sierra's well deserved best costume.

[Lala Kent]

Oh, my God. Sierra also, not to mention she's a supermodel. That couldn't be more stunning. Watching her walk on stage, I was starstruck. I was like, you're going to be in the Victoria's Secret show next year.

[Tommy]

Collectively, I think the whole audience was stunned by how utterly gorgeous Sierra is.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Lala Kent]

Absolutely breathtaking.

[Tommy]

Like, come on.

[Lala Kent]

Breathtaking. Tall, beautiful, classy. I mean, what more can you ask?

[Tommy]

Yeah, funny too.

[Lala Kent]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Thanks for. Thanks for tuning in.

[Lala Kent]

Yeah, of course. See you guys. Impromptu.

[Tom Sandoval]

Literally impromptu.

[Tommy]

Wait, wait. This is cool.

[Tom Sandoval]

Dude, she's got the best butt crack in the business.

[Tommy]

Okay. Tom makes. This is what he was doing to me during bro. He doesn't mean that obviously. I just. For the record, he makes really bad dad jokes. Oh, God.

[Tom Sandoval]

Make short squirm.

[Tommy]

My God. But no. Do you think overall AGT was positive? More positive than negative or more negative than positive?

[Tom Sandoval]

All right, let me finish the story real quick. Yeah.

[Tommy]

Oh, yeah, sorry.

[Tom Schwartz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tom Sandoval]

So. So I was Cincinnati house of blues and they're. They have this like second floor balcony and there's like a. A catch all like, like for anybody who drops their drinks over. It's like netting, you know what I mean, that you see at a baseball stadium. They're like I, I went and looked at it. I always inspect everything because we do Even Flow by Pearl Jam. And I get, I climb on for.

[Tommy]

People who have never heard the song. Can you give us a snippet? Just like a snippet. It, I'm not saying sing it. I'm just, I, I don't know.

[Tom Sandoval]

Even flow free.

[Tommy]

Oh, yeah, sorry. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, bro.

[Tom Sandoval]

Sorry, I'm losing my voice.

[Tommy]

It's okay.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, I do like a hour and a half vocal warm up before I do that. But anyways, keep going. All right, so anyways, guys, this is raw. So. So, so Eddie Vedder used to climb on. You remember that? You don't remember that? Dude, Eddie Vedder would climb on. Fucking shit, dude. First of all, I didn't know that it existed in me, but I fucked the ever loving out of Eddie Vedder.

[Tommy]

You, you love Eddie Vedder. Yeah, I, I, that's a euphemism. That's a euphemism for saying you really dig somebody.

[Tom Sandoval]

And I, and I, I sing it well. It like fully resonates and it, it does. Well, trust me. Victoria would tell me if it didn't. She does. My karma.

[Tommy]

She's your harshest critic.

[Tom Sandoval]

She is. Victoria is my harshest critic.

[Tommy]

Circle back to that.

[Tom Sandoval]

So anyways, I, I was there and I like checked the, the guard that like protects people from throwing from the, from the second floor balcony. And I was like, this is very sturdy and they're like Machine Gun Kelly hung from it once and I was like, oh, that's cool. I fucking. During the concert, I like swung monkey barred all the way across it. Kicked my feet up, climbed all the way to the second floor balcony. So like forever now at the Cincinnati.

[Tommy]

That's, that's kind of rockstar status, dude.

[Tom Sandoval]

The Cincinnati House of Blues will be like Tom Sandoval fucking climbed all the way from the first floor to the second floor floor.

[Tommy]

Do you drink before shows?

[Tom Sandoval]

I take, I, I, I drink tea. I like a shot I took like pre workout.

[Tommy]

Really?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, because it's got a lot of B12 in it. It makes me feel really happy and positive and energetic. So I do that and then, and then I, I take like a half shot of whiskey and like half a beer and then I go out there, I drink tea through most of the show and then towards the end, I'll do like a shot and then guzzle a beer.

[Tommy]

Yeah, you always, I think you with a cold beer.

[Zach]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Which is the vibe. Yeah, it really, it gets the audience going.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

It's provocative.

[Tom Sandoval]

It is.

[Tommy]

You still love touring?

[Tom Sandoval]

I do, man. It's fucking amazing. I want you.

[Tom Schwartz]

I want you to.

[Tom Sandoval]

On the tour bus.

[Tom Schwartz]

Yes.

[Tommy]

If you didn't listen, I did a tour episode with Tom. It's actually one of my.

[Tom Sandoval]

Never been on the tour bus, dude. Through, like, the whole. It's really cool, man. You get done with the show, you get back on the bus, you go to the next city, you land there, you wake up there, you wake up into the next venue, and it's like, get out of bed. You get up. I. I always have workout equipment, so, like, work out in the morning.

[Tommy]

And then, like, you're very Detox Retox because you take care of yourself. I know you're very regimented, but you also, like, get, like, to have a drink too.

[Tom Sandoval]

Of course. But I like, Yeah, I. I do like a. Dude, I did. Dude, I did 10 shows in 11 days. That is 22 songs, by the way.

[Tommy]

For people listening right now.

[Tom Sandoval]

Octave three, octave range.

[Tom Schwartz]

Sorry.

[Tommy]

People listening right now who are rolling their eyes like, I'm never going to go see that.

[Tom Sandoval]

No, I know.

[Tom Schwartz]

No, no.

[Tommy]

This is for the haters. Tom's shows are so objectively fun, dude.

[Tom Schwartz]

It's a. It.

[Tommy]

Everyone's having a good time. It's songs, you know and love. And I mean this in a respectful way. It reminds me of a wedding band. But, like, some people might think that's, like, almost condescending. It's fun as hell.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah. Everybody's singing their nuts off. Like, it's such a good time. Like, dude, we do, we. Like, dude, we do. Dude, Edge of Seventeen. Dude, you haven't heard Maddie sing Edge of Seventeen. Dude, we do, like, four part harmonies. It's like, I, I, I'm. Listen. I surround myself with people that are way better than me. Including yourself, Schwartz. You're better than me in so many ways.

[Tommy]

Let's not even go there.

[Tom Sandoval]

No, you are, though. I surround myself with people that are better than me that. Because they inspire me to be better and they push me to. That's like. I do vocal lessons every single week. I. I do. On tour. I did vocal, like, vocal lessons every single day. But, like, I'm with people that are better than me. Way better than me.

[Tommy]

And, dude, can I ask you a question?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

What do you do when you have to go on stage and maybe you have bubble guts? You feel like. Or you just start feeling confident in yourself? Dude, I'm saying you're like, maybe you're having some anxiety.

[Tom Schwartz]

Maybe.

[Tom Sandoval]

Maybe you're Having some anxiety, dude. In the midst of the scandal, we had already booked a tour and we.

[Tommy]

Don'T have to go back there.

[Tom Sandoval]

No, no, we don't. But, but. And I'm telling you, dude, I did this full blown sober.

[Tom Schwartz]

I remember.

[Tommy]

You white knuckled it.

[Tom Sandoval]

I wiped knuckled it, dude. And the lowest moment, this is before I realized I could walk out with sunglasses on too.

[Tommy]

We had a great conversation with MJ on the bus. Yeah, we did.

[Tom Sandoval]

It's like I was so. She wore sunglasses to the Bravos last night, by the way.

[Tommy]

She's not, you know, MJ's one of the realest ever, but it's like, it can be hyper stimulating and the eyes are the windows of the soul and it's like a little protective barrier. It's like a little blinky.

[Tom Sandoval]

It is.

[Tommy]

It is blinky.

[Tom Sandoval]

Erica Jane had sunglasses on too. And I was so jealous. Yeah, I know you are too.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

No, she looked flat as hell.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Wait, I lost.

[Tom Sandoval]

So what I was. So what I was saying is, is after. So when we used to start off, when, when, when Tom Sandoval, the most extras first started. When, when, when they first, when we first started, we. I would go out there and we would open up with Incubus, which we're here. And it would like, I would, I would walk out and I would just be like riffing with the crowd. Like there'd be like ghosty, like sort of vibey afraid effects and like on swells, all this. And I'd be like, hey, everybody, how's it going on? Like. And then it would like the energy would slowly rise. Right when the scandal happened. I decided this after, like we booked a full tour and I was like, decided to stop drinking to face the head on fully sober.

[Tommy]

Wise choice. Yeah, you might have spiraled with some booze.

[Tom Sandoval]

I went, I went, I went eight months, man. And I walked. I was like, we have to kick in the fucking door musically. So we opened up with Muse hysteria. And then, and then I would walk out afterwards. And I walk out after the song was already fucking blazing. And only like six months after that did I figure out that I could actually wear sunglasses.

[Tommy]

So I'm a huge advocate. Like, if you think of walking out.

[Tom Sandoval]

Singing, opening up a show, looking, I was naked eyed, looking at people wearing worm with a mustache like die Sandoval.

[Tommy]

We don't have to go back there. Listen. We don't. We listen. Me and Tom.

[Tom Sandoval]

Bungee jumping is way less scarier, let me tell you that.

[Tommy]

We don't spend Much time in the past. But it is a, it's a good place. Place to learn.

[Tom Sandoval]

It is.

[Tommy]

It's a good place to learn. You don't want to spend too much time in the past, man. But looking forward. Wait, another tour coming up?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Really? Are you locking in?

[Tom Sandoval]

Dude, we're going to lock. We're going to lock something really big in in the next coming year for sure. And I want you a part of it.

[Tommy]

Are you working on any new original music?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes.

[Tom Schwartz]

Ooh.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes I am.

[Tommy]

If you guys. So do you ever still do Kissing my Sister?

[Tom Sandoval]

I never did that on stage, but I'm going to.

[Tommy]

No, please don't.

[Tom Sandoval]

I'm going to you guys.

[Tommy]

When I live.

[Tom Sandoval]

That came from Vegas. That came from Vegas. We were on our way back. We were up. We were doing like a Cory Martin job.

[Tommy]

Was that, was that a. That was a Golden Nugget night.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yes, it was.

[Tommy]

You guys.

[Tom Sandoval]

By the way. By the way. By the way, everybody. Dude, the Golden Nugget should be, should be known for me and Schwarz.

[Tommy]

That's an all time low.

[Tom Sandoval]

It is.

[Tommy]

But like remember Sassy said that to you.

[Tom Sandoval]

Oh yeah. But dude, the Golden Nugget. Nugget. When I think of, whenever I think of the Golden Nugget, I think of me and you. To be honest. Yeah, to be really honest, I do too.

[Tommy]

But we've, me and Tom had some really good nights there and there was one night where I, I, we, we were both up.

[Tom Sandoval]

Oh my.

[Tommy]

You're both up 500, maybe a thousand dollars when you broke it. May as well be a million dollars. I walked away and Tom kept playing and he lost everything I got.

[Tom Sandoval]

It was the, it was one of the best and worst runs ever. So I started off with like $150. And I mean this is like we're broke. We're broke. As we were both broke. Yeah, we're like $70 in our checking account.

[Tommy]

I had my 2003 Honda Civic and a bottle of absinthe in my trunk.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, yeah. That we like stole. So, so, so we, we come out here for a catering job. And the only reason why you come out here for the catering job at the Louis Vuitton store with Cory Martin.

[Tommy]

By the way, I think they used to pay $200. We drive all the way from.

[Tom Sandoval]

I paid like 250 and you had to drive all the way to Vegas. It was only two hours of work. It was like 300.

[Tommy]

You would stay at the Excalibur cuz it's the cheapest.

[Tom Sandoval]

No no, no. They. They put us up for one night at one place, and then we decided to stay. And then we stayed at the Golden Nugget.

[Tom Schwartz]

That's right.

[Tom Sandoval]

Then we, like. So we went to the Golden Nugget, and. And we're both broke as. But Short says is more responsible at this point with money than I am. And I'm like. I'm like, you know, living on my last, like, couple hundred dollars. Prayer. Yeah, living on a prayer. Bon Jovi. And I. I buy him for, like, 150, and I get all the way up to, like, 980, and I'm like, a million dollars.

[Tommy]

Let's take a beat, you guys.

[Tom Schwartz]

I.

[Tommy]

Everyone listening has been broke.

[Tom Schwartz]

I've been.

[Tommy]

I've been negative in my. When you have a. When you're up $11,000 and you're broke, you're.

[Tom Sandoval]

Dude, I was like, I've never broken. I've. I was like, I'm going to break $1,000. I'm going to break $1,000. That's all I wanted to do was break $1,000. I would have walked away. I was at 980.

[Tommy]

980.

[Tom Sandoval]

And I stayed there. And Schwarz was pulling me away. He was pulling me away. And. And literally to the point where, like, the staff was like. Had to hold Schwartz. Back.

[Tom Schwartz]

Back.

[Tom Sandoval]

Literally, the staff had the whole. Because you were literally. You're like, tom, come, come. You're yelling at me. And I was like. I was like, I gotta break a thousand. I lost everything. Everything.

[Tom Schwartz]

And. And.

[Tommy]

And then so from. From great pain usually comes great art.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

And we wrote a song called kissing your sister. We could sing it before. We gotta go. We got. We have another. We have another meet and greet right now. Do you want to do it?

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

Guys, everyone's already.

[Tom Sandoval]

Should we come back?

[Tommy]

Everyone's already checked out for that.

[Tom Sandoval]

Should do a part two.

[Tom Schwartz]

No, no, no.

[Tommy]

Let's go.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah, let's do it. One, two, 187 sands in my cup holder. That's the year she was born But I'm one year older. Her seasons change, they're getting colder but my feelings haven't. They're getting bolder. Cause there ain't nothing better than incest undertones? Nothing gets me wetter than I should know. Better than kissing my sister.

[Tommy]

So, you guys. That's a euphemism for now.

[Tom Sandoval]

The first time I was really true.

[Tommy]

All right, all right. We got to roll.

[Tom Sandoval]

It was. I wrote. Dude, I wrote second verse.

[Tommy]

I know, I know.

[Tom Schwartz]

We got to go.

[Tom Sandoval]

All right, all right. We got to go.

[Tommy]

We got to go anyway, you guys. It's a euphemism.

[Tom Sandoval]

Make a short story long.

[Tommy]

Breaking even if you can't. It's like shorts.

[Tom Sandoval]

You were the first person that introduced me to that euphemism.

[Tommy]

So it's an old. So it's an old poker.

[Tom Sandoval]

It's like you hook. You said you hooked up with a girl, but like at an.

[Tommy]

No, it's a poker term. It's a old school poker term from like the 70s. Like it's like kissing your sister. Yeah, you kissed a girl, but she's your sister. It's like breaking even. Yeah, it's breaking even.

[Tom Sandoval]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

I mean, or a deficit. Maybe a little deficit. All right, where to stop?

[Tom Sandoval]

Where to stop? I just went from 6 to 12 again.

[Tommy]

All right. Sand of all.

[Tom Schwartz]

Love you.

[Tom Sandoval]

Love you too.

[Tommy]

2025. Woohoo. Countess.

[Tom Sandoval]

Hi.

[Countess Luann]

Aye, hi, Tom.

[Tommy]

I just wanted to sit down with you. I have no hard hitting questions.

[Zach]

No.

[Tommy]

No investigative journalism.

[Countess Luann]

Oh, well, that's good.

[Tommy]

I just wanted to be in your presence.

[Countess Luann]

Oh, thank you.

[Tommy]

Your presence is my present. How you hold? How you holding up?

[Countess Luann]

You know, pretty good. The voice is cracking a bit because not only do I work all day for Bravo, but I had a cabaret show on Friday, which you missed. But it's okay. I'll be in LA for my new tour, so you'll come to my next corporation.

[Tommy]

Wait, I'm a turn. Can you, can you plug the dates?

[Countess Luann]

Well, I'm doing a show in Cincinnati. December 19th, Christmas with the Countess.

[Tommy]

Love Cincinnati. Except for the fact that they put chili on their spaghetti.

[Tom Schwartz]

Sick.

[Countess Luann]

Well, you know, even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes. And then I'll be in New York, so maybe hit that one. December 22nd, 23rd at Sony hall for Chris's at the Counties. We're going to be doing Sonya Got Run over by a Reindeer.

[Tom Schwartz]

I want to.

[Tommy]

I want to come to one of your shows.

[Countess Luann]

Oh, you do?

[Tommy]

You have to come watch me do.

[Countess Luann]

Santa Baby on the bongos.

[Tommy]

You're tried and tested. You're like an og. Do you ever get stage fright?

[Lala Kent]

No.

[Countess Luann]

You know, listen, I've been doing cabaret for like eight years now. And sure, I get a little nervous before I get on stage, but you know, it's like when you get out there, yeah, it's like you're in your. You get in your rhythm and you know, I love being on stage. I work really hard on my shows. You know, it's pop culture meets cabaret meets comedy meets a fashion show. Because I'm gonna be wearing A lot of Giovanni. You would have the best time. It's so much fun.

[Tommy]

No. Rave reviews. Everyone who's ever gone, all of my friends. Iconic.

[Countess Luann]

Oh, great.

[Tommy]

Just like. Yeah. I can't wait to come see you perform live.

[Countess Luann]

Well, that's, that's, that's nice to hear here.

[Lala Kent]

Cuz.

[Countess Luann]

Cuz, you know, my fans, they show up for me. You know, they come in sequins and statement necklaces. They're all in. And I always say, like, I could trip and fall and they'd be like, that was so elegant, Count. You know what I mean? They've got my back. They get me. And, and I.

[Tommy]

And I love that you have a fierce.

[Countess Luann]

We've been through, you and I, right?

[Tommy]

Yes. We've seen some.

[Countess Luann]

We've seen some.

[Tommy]

What about DJing? What's next?

[Countess Luann]

Oh, you know what? I've been asked to dj because, you know, Meredith Marx is doing it. Dorinda's doing it.

[Tommy]

Dorinda.

[Countess Luann]

I mean, it only seems right that, that I should be DJing. Right?

[Tommy]

We're gonna be the last people on bravo that aren't DJs.

[Countess Luann]

Right?

[Tommy]

Oh, my God.

[Countess Luann]

Well, maybe we could do something together, Tom. That would be fun.

[Tom Schwartz]

Whoa.

[Countess Luann]

That's. That's a unlikely pairing. That's an unlikely pairing. It's like Snoop Dogg and Martha.

[Tom Schwartz]

Oh, my.

[Countess Luann]

We could smoke some pot.

[Tommy]

No, you know, we to need to work on a collab. We need to work on a collab.

[Tom Sandoval]

Look at that.

[Countess Luann]

Somebody just spilled their drink. They so excited about that.

[Tommy]

Listen, I don't want to take up too much of your time. I just want to say, really, I just want to say I love you.

[Countess Luann]

Oh, and I, I, I love you too.

[Tom Schwartz]

John.

[Tommy]

Listen, you're fabulous.

[Countess Luann]

Oh, thank you.

[Tommy]

You are a living legend, and I'm soaking up all of your charisma right now. I feel like a vampire. I'm just.

[Countess Luann]

Well, I'm a countess. Dracula.

[Tom Schwartz]

Right.

[Tommy]

All right, I love you too. Thank you for doing that.

[Countess Luann]

All right, thanks.

[Tom Schwartz]

Bye. And now the end is near. And so I face the final cartoon, my friend. I'll say it clear. I'll state. All right, enough of that.

[Tommy]

Something about singing that before you take.

[Tom Schwartz]

Off just feels cosmically wrong. Some sort of universal jinx. You guys, I'm on the flight. Bravocon. It's a wrap. So fun. Sutton and Jennifer Tilly are sitting behind me. Little starstruck Denise Richards, who we had the great pleasure of interviewing earlier. My manager, Sheena Luke. Kristen Vibes were had. I had such a good time. No regerts. It was so fun. I never thought I would do another Bravo Con. So to be here is a great pleasure. It feels like some sort of rebirth. Second chance, if you will. But yeah, man. Right before I left, I saw Heather and Angie K in the hospitality suite. And Angie was like, I don't want to take this bottle of tequila. Do you want it? And I was like, I'll take it. I'll take it as a memento, a good luck charm, a talisman. So, yeah, we're taking off. Jet suite X. It's been a. It's been a good run. I'm not gonna lie. We stayed at the Four Seasons. I'm not bougie at all, by the way. I'm happy in a motel. A. But Four Seasons has the best beds ever. And yeah, man, I. I had a great time. I pretty much met everyone I wanted to meet who I hadn't met before, if that makes sense. Got to reconnect with Sandoval, which was nice. We haven't been the closest lately. But not anything negative or don't dissect that or read too much into that. Still love him.

[Tom Sandoval]

He's my boy.

[Tom Schwartz]

I had a great time. Did you guys dig it? Did you dig it? If you didn't make it, just DM me. I'll tell you everything. But apparently there's so many juicy stories. What happens at BravoCon, definitely does not stay at Bravo Con, so I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. Sorry if it was a little spastic this episode. And we're about to take off back to Burbank. Thanks for sticking with me on this journey so far, by the way. I gotta remind you guys, we're just getting started. There's a theme to this podcast, okay. It's Detox Retox. But sometimes, you know, just got to give the people what they want. It's a little bright. BravoCon spectacular. I did my best. I was nervous a lot of the time because when you're in the green room, you don't want to. You have to be respectful of people's time and energy. Not like it's like a hard or anything, but it's intense. And I never want to violate someone's peaceful moment when they're chilling in the green room. I did the best I could, so if you guys listened to it this far. Thank you so much. Good stuff coming up, by the way. Yeah, we're gonna do all the stuff I talked about. There it is. But I love you guys and hopefully it was fun. Just little snippets Little audio diary, if you will. We lived, we laughed, we loved, and we didn't survive. We thrived.

[Countess Luann]

Your hips.

[Tom Schwartz]

Jennifer Dilly's right behind me. I want to ask her to say hi, but I'm scared, so I'll probably just get ended here and. Yeah, man. Bravicon 2025. That's a wrap. It's a wrap. Sit next to my manager. I'm gonna have one more drink and then I'm gonna go Heavy, heavy detox this week, but lots of good stuff coming for you guys if you're with me.

[Tommy]

If there's a lot of.

[Tom Schwartz]

We got video coming soon and. Yeah, man, we just getting started. Okay, I'm getting shy now.

[Tommy]

Okay, bye.

[Tom Sandoval]

Retoxification complete.

[Lala Kent]

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