Taming the Tongue (James 3): Gossip, Slander & “Respectable Sins” That Can Destroy Your Witness

Summary

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Dial In with Jonny Ardavanis

Episode: Taming the Tongue (James 3): Gossip, Slander & “Respectable Sins” That Can Destroy Your Witness
Date: January 27, 2026
Host: Jonny Ardavanis
Guest: Hank Bowen

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on the biblical teachings about the tongue, focusing especially on how sins of speech—gossip, slander, and what are often called “respectable sins”—can deeply damage personal witness and Christian community. By drawing from James 3 and related Scriptures, Jonny and Hank explore the powerful, dangerous, and morally revealing nature of the tongue, emphasizing that sins of speech, though often minimized, are grave in God’s eyes and demand serious self-examination and discipline.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Heart & the Tongue: An Inseparable Connection

• Self-Deception Exposed
  • Jonny highlights that self-deception is the most tragic form of deception in the Bible. If one claims to be religious but doesn’t control their tongue, their faith is "worthless."
  • “If anyone thinks that he is a worshiper of God, a follower of Jesus Christ, and does not bridle or control his tongue, that person is self-deceived. They've lied to themselves and whatever faith they profess is worthless.” (A, 00:00)

2. “Respectable Sins” and Double Standards in the Church

• Severity of Sins of the Tongue
  • Sins like gossip and slander are often treated as minor compared to adultery or idolatry.
  • Jonny references Jerry Bridges’ concept of “respectable sins,” highlighting how scriptural sin lists place slander and gossip alongside sexual immorality and idolatry.
    • “But smack dab in the middle of that, you have this idea of a slanderer, someone who criticizes others with their tongue.” (A, 06:22)
• Notable Observation
  • Hank: “I feel like those are well known passages with these laundry list of kind of the big sins… I wouldn't have been able to rightly identify all of these tongue-based sins that are tucked in there.” (B, 08:02)

3. James on the Power & Peril of the Tongue

• The Tongue’s Disproportionate Power
  • Three analogies: bridle on a horse, rudder on a ship, spark of a great fire.
  • The tongue, while small, can direct one’s entire life and impact the world massively.
    • “Your whole soul is being affected and directed by a two-ounce muscle behind an army of teeth.” (A, 16:36)
• Historical & Literary Tie-in
  • Hank reflects on Winston Churchill’s oratory during WWII:
    • “When I think of the tongue, I think of Winston Churchill… a single guy speaking into a microphone can actually change the… makeup of thousands of people listening all through the use of his tongue.” (B, 17:05)

4. Five Realities About the Tongue

(Jonny’s Big Framework from James)

a. The Tongue is Powerful (13:48–16:30)

• Analogy of the Chicago fire: huge devastation from a small spark, just like the consequences of an uncontrolled tongue.

b. The Tongue is Restless (18:23)

• “It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.” (A, 18:23)
• Our volume of speech correlates with risk for sinning; Proverbs 10:19; Matthew 12:36—every careless word matters before God.

c. The Tongue is Foul & Duplicity (20:23)

• We praise God and curse people made in His image with the same mouth.
• Romans 3: the depravity of man displayed through poisonous, deceitful speech.
• “Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth.” (A, 22:50)
• Cultural awareness: language seen as "indecent" even outside church context.

d. The Tongue Lies (24:18)

• Includes embellishments, “small” lies, exaggerations, and slander.
• God’s intolerance: “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord.” (A, 25:23)
• Revelation 21:8—liars’ place among the gravest of sinners.

e. The Tongue Gossips (and Destroys) (27:02–28:34)

• “My name is what? Gossip. Gossip is a particularly deadly sin. It has damaged more people, destroyed more relationships, dismantled more churches than potentially every other sin.” (A, 27:54)
• Gossip often disguises itself as concern, prayer requests, or seeking counsel (A, 29:19).

5. Gossip: The Church’s Deadliest, Most Underestimated Sin

• Proverbs 16:28: separates close friends and stirs up dissension.
• Christians often “cloak” gossip in virtuous language, but the damage remains profound.
• “Christians, I think, have their PhDs in gossiping and yet cloaking it as righteousness.” (A, 29:19)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Self-Deception and Speech:
  • “The saddest form of deception in the scripture is self deception. When you’re not just deceiving others, you’re deceiving yourself.” — Jonny (A, 00:03)
• On Sins of the Tongue:
  • “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, that person deceives his own heart and his religion is worthless.” — Jonny (A, 08:20)
• On Gaining Control:
  • “No one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil.” — Jonny (A, 18:11)
• On Jesus as Our Example:
  • “There was no deceit found in his mouth and he went silently to the cross to pay for the sins of the tongue.” — Jonny (A, 32:02)
• On the Solution:
  • “The number one way you can transform the way you speak is by having a heart that hears the word of God.” — Jonny (A, 33:39)
  • “God gave you two of these and one of these.” — Hank, referencing ears and mouth (B, 33:10)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Topic / Quote | |-------------|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–04:19 | Lighthearted Bears game story—a segway to being “speechless” and the seriousness of the tongue | | 06:05–08:28 | What counts as a “respectable sin” and how we minimize sins of the tongue | | 13:48–16:47 | The analogies of tongue’s power: bridle, rudder, fire | | 18:23–20:00 | “Restless evil”—volume of words, each word matters | | 22:50–24:18 | The “foulness” of the tongue, cursing and blessing with one mouth, cultural indecency | | 24:18–26:43 | The tongue’s inherent dishonesty and God’s intolerance for lies | | 27:02–29:19 | Poem on gossip; destruction caused by gossip; why it’s so deadly and often cloaked | | 29:19–33:46 | Grieving the Holy Spirit, Jesus as example, transformation starts in the heart |

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Closing Thoughts

• Transforming Speech Starts in the Heart:
  We cannot change our speech until God changes our hearts through His Word.
  “Out of the heart, the mouth speaks. And in order to transform our tongues, God has to transform first and foremost our… hearts.” (A, 33:42)

• Conviction & Encouragement:
  The episode closes with practical encouragement that sanctification in our speech is possible—not just by discipline, but by feeding on God’s word and following Christ’s example.

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Transcript

[A]

The scripture says there is a direct correlation between the amount you talk and the amount you sin and the speech you utter, as we have already discussed, reveals your heart. The saddest form of deception in the scripture is self deception. When you're not just deceiving others, you're deceiving yourself. And the scripture says if anyone thinks that he is a worshiper of God, a follower of Jesus Christ, and does not bridle or control his tongue, that person is self deceived. They've lied to themself and whatever faith they profess is worthless. Hank, how you doing?

[B]

I'm doing well, Johnny, how are you doing?

[A]

Okay. Hank. Okay. I need to tell you a story. I need to get it off my chest.

[B]

Okay. For preloading, Johnny has multiple times over the last couple of days. Johnny said just wait. Save it for the podcast. I have no idea what he's about to tell as.

[A]

As you know, if you've been watching or listening to the Dial in podcast for a while, we are both Bears fans.

[B]

Die hard.

[A]

Last week, I felt really guilty because I got tickets to the Bears game without Hank to go to the playoff game versus the Rams. And while I was.

[C]

While I was there, well, I, you

[A]

know, I was just getting. I was getting texts from Hank on

[B]

the way and just checking in on your safety.

[C]

Checking.

[B]

I know he doesn't do well in the cold.

[A]

Now I just want to share with you how my experience went. My flight was delayed for two hours after church because I had to, you know, preach, and then I was gonna leave right after that. This is also on my way there. You know, in the airport in Nashville, I'm seeing people with Bears jerseys on, and I'm like, I'm going bear down 100.

[C]

I'm just fist bumping everyone. I'm doing, like, chest bumps with all the dads, and I'm like, I'm going to the game.

[A]

I'm going to the game. You know, slight delay, folks. It should be boarding about 15 minutes. Okay. 30 minutes later, slight delay. We should be boring. 15 minutes. Okay.

[B]

Dude, no way.

[A]

And then two hours later, we leave. At this point, it's like, okay, man, we're probably only gonna make it to the second quarter.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I've already missed the first quarter. We land in Chicago and we sit on the tarmac for two hours.

[B]

Are you serious?

[C]

Because they didn't have, like, a gate. I watched the entire playoff game on my phone from Chicago. You're kidding. No. Wait, did you.

[B]

You never got into the stadium?

[C]

We get off the plane, we Run to the stadium.

[A]

We get a little taxi.

[C]

This guy's Jason Statham. In between traffic. We get to the stadium.

[A]

I'm watching it on my phone, running

[C]

into Soldier Field when Caleb Williams throws one of the most generationally amazing passes of all time. We get to the stadium, they won't let us in because the game is already over. And then we go, come on. And I'm just begging people. I'm like, I flew here.

[A]

I've been embarrassed.

[B]

I'm in ministry.

[C]

They let us in for overtime. We watched the game winning kick.

[B]

You. You are the reason they lost.

[C]

Probably literally. Well, it was a win win because Goldie won. But it was like, I.

[A]

The game winning kick happened.

[C]

No one said a word, and then we all walked out. So I. I feel like I'd felt bad that I went without you.

[B]

And the Lord, what man meant for evil got me.

[A]

The Lord didn't let it happen.

[C]

He knew it was wrong for me to go without you.

[B]

What is your takeaway from this lesson?

[A]

Honestly, I told Katie, this is not a joke.

[C]

When, like, we've gone through things familially, you're like, hey, this is a real trial. The Lord is going to use this in my life. This was one of those things where I'm like, I have no idea how God is gonna redeem this. Like, why on earth would this happen? This is just a straight up disappointment. Like, you can't even say, I had a trial, I missed the Bears game. Or can I?

[B]

The lesson is clear. You are not allowed to go to Bears games without breaking.

[C]

I've been a Bears fan my whole life. This is gonna be my first game ever. This is.

[B]

I literally. Maybe the first time on the Dial in podcast, I'm speechless. You. I can't. Even if there's any Dial in fans with season tickets, please feel free to invite me, but not Johnny.

[C]

Speaking of Speechless, in this episode, we're

[A]

going to talk about some biblical realities regarding the tongue. It's going to be kind of part of this idea of respectable sins. Before I continue, this episode is brought to you by the Master's University. If someone in your life or you are looking to continue and pursue higher education, I would highly encourage you to check out the Master's University. You can go to Masters Edu to find out more information about this university that is committed to Christ in scripture. And you can use our unique code dial in to waive the application fee for the Master's University. Well, Hank, I want to turn a corner now, but I want to just maybe Paint a scenario for you. And I'm not trying to be, you know, hyper dramatic, but I want to just imagine a scenario where I bring before you a guy who's in ongoing, consistent, unrepentant sexual sin. He's committing adultery on his family, has denied his family, claims to be a believer. And you would just look at the fruit of his life and say, well, listen, you're not saved by your fruit. But that lifestyle evidences that maybe the root of salvation has never taken place in his heart. He's not repentant. He's got a consistent pattern of sin. First John 1, he's walking in the darkness. He would say, ah, you know what? I don't judge the heart, God does. But it looks like from all appearances

[B]

there's no evidence of the Holy Spirit in his life.

[A]

Yeah, same if I brought before you a serial idolater. You know, maybe either literally and he's bowing down to primitive images or he's got other things and, or she does and worships those things. Or a serial drunkard. You just every single night. This is the reality of their life. No, repentance being a key idea there you would go, hey, listen, you're not saved by your works. But the fruit of their life lacks evidence that they've been actually changed and transformed by God.

[B]

Well, and oftentimes I feel like the most powerful testimonies, maybe when you're a kid, are hearing from someone who came out of that type of environment and then turns a corner. God does a work in their life

[A]

and then it's totally such were some of you. Now the question is, if I brought before you a gossip, a serial gossip, a slander, and asked if the fruit of their life evidence that the root of salvation had taken place in their heart, you'd be like, well, I've never

[B]

heard a testimony of something.

[A]

I was a serial gossip and my life hit rock bottom and I was a gossip, you go, okay, because that's a respectable sin. What I mean by that and what Jerry Bridges meant by that in his book Respectable Sins is that there are certain sins when you look at the scripture that are very faux pas. You know, like this is very bad sexual sin, very bad. But the sins of the tongue, they're perceived as minor. But interestingly, in First Corinthians 6, verse 9, it says, do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do you not be deceived? Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, Nor, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. I mean, that's a serious list. But smack dab in the middle of that, you have this idea of a slanderer, someone who criticizes others with their tongue. If I was to ask you, hey, what does it look like when a nation, when a civilization, a culture has totally denied God? You'd go, well, Romans 1 describes the culture that has been given over by God to their rampant iniquity. And that's all homosexuality. It's hatred of man, hatred of God. And yet in that same context, you have this idea of their gossips, they're slanders. So when Paul is in 1 Corinthians 6 and in Romans 1 describing the worst of the worst, sandwiched between haters of men, haters of good idolatry, homosexuality, you have gossip. Yeah, sins of the tongue, slander. And I think sometimes we just, we don't really think about that. We kind of sweep those realities under the rug.

[B]

No, totally to your point. I feel like those are well known passages with these laundry list of kind of the big sins. And it's upon reflection, I mean we, until we had had a prior conversation when we actually looked at James and youth group, it wasn't even to me at that time. I wouldn't have been able to rightly identify all of these tongue based sins that are tucked in there. And actually in many ways the central, the central kind of apex of, of those sin lists.

[A]

Yeah, no, and it's a big deal. I mean, Proverbs 18:21 says life and death are in the power of the tongue. Meaning that the topic of the tongue as we look to God's word isn't trivial, it's oozing with significance, eternal significance. And even when we look in Proverbs 6, it says that there are six things that God hates, seven that are an abomination to Him. Three of those have to do with the tongue. You have murder, you have lovers of evil. And then in that list of seven things that are an abomination to God, it says lying lips, gossips and slander. The Bible, God's word functions as a tuning fork so that we would be aware of the reality of how important the usage of our tongue. And also we'll include in this kind of the digital use of what we're texting, what we're typing, how important that is to God. Now in the New Testament and you mentioned James and we can turn there and the New Testament. James is the earliest book ever written in the New Testament. And he's writing so that people would understand what the Christian life really looks like. Like, hey, here's what it means to follow God. Let's just go on and get down to the brass tacks. Many people then and today profess Christ, but not everyone possesses Christ. And in every chapter of James he mentions the tongue. In James 1:26 he says, if anyone thinks he is religious. Now just stop there for a moment. That word for religious, when James says this is the half brother of Jesus, if anyone thinks he is religious. That word for religious is used once in the New Testament and it's only used here. It means a worshiper. It's not just someone that believes in a higher deity. It's not someone that just goes to church. This is someone that believes they are devout worshipers of God. And then he says this. If anyone thinks he is religious, a worshiper, and then it says this and does not bridle or control his tongue. That person deceives his own heart and his religion is worthless. That idea there of worthless is the same word. When Paul says if Christ didn't rise from the grave, our faith is in vain, it just means it's worth nothing now. You know, I remember Harry saying this one time, have you ever been deceived? You know, have you ever been betrayed? You know, it's tragic, it's painful, it's painful. But the saddest form of deception in the scripture is self deception. When you're not just deceiving others, you're deceiving yourself. And the Scripture says if anyone thinks that he is a worshiper of God, a follower of Jesus Christ and does not bridle his tongue, that person is self deceived. They've lied to themselves and whatever faith they profess is worthless. I want to highlight a resource for you from the John MacArthur Publishing Group. This is a book that they have recently published called Our Savior who Prays. And it is a verse by verse exposition of one of my favorite chapters in the Bible from John 17. You know, one of the things that we see in the Gospel is that Jesus has not only risen from the grave, he's not only ascended to the Father, but he intercedes for us constantly. That's what it says in Hebrews 7:25. That he ever lives to make intercession for us. This is a precious promise for you. If you're a Christ follower, Jesus prays for you. And what that means is that no one who is in Christ will ever be lost or snatched out of the Father's hand. This is a doctrine of immense comfort that'll transform your life. One other thing that is really cool is that if you go to their website, you can download some free questions as you make your way through this book, I'm sure that both as an individual, but as a collective body of believers, you will be strengthened, encouraged and comforted by the truths found within this book. Our Savior, who prays to maybe put

[B]

a bow on your point of the worshiper. If anyone thinks themselves a worshiper, it's helpful to kind of drill down to the original language in this case because when I, I read religious right away I'm thinking like back as an elementary school kid being like, yeah, I don't believe in a religion, I believe in a person, Jesus Christ. And so religious almost seems like, oh yeah, well obviously that person, you know, is, is deceived. But your point is? No, like this is actually applicable to us, the ones who might be tuning

[A]

in to dial in, people doing like Bible podcasts, Bible classes, going to Bible preaching, churches watching sermons, listening to worship music. I'm a follower of God.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. And so anyway, it's makes me kind of want to lean in and where

[A]

we go from here. James continues in James 2 and we're familiar with the idea he says faith without works is what?

[B]

Dead.

[A]

Dead, meaning that you're not saved by your works, but the works, the fruit of your life, evidence that the root of salvation has taken place in your heart. Jesus says you can tell a tree by its what? Fruit. Fruit. Now we understand this, we've talked about this before. When James is writing, there are no chapter divisions, meaning that's something that came later on, you know, in the 1700s by itinerate preachers on horseback. So when James is talking about faith without works being dead, his then initial thought in James 3 is all about the way that we employ and use our tongue. And I want to look at five realities regarding the tongue in this episode and we'll look at how we're supposed to use the tongue in a way that glorifies God. Maybe in the next but five realities. And we're going to look primarily at James because I think it's really helpful. But first of all I want to look at the reality that the tongue is very powerful. Growing up in Chicago, maybe you remember the song, we used to do it in elementary School. Five nights ago when we were all in bed, Mrs. O' Leary hung a lantern on the shed and then the cow kicked it over. She winked her eye and said, it's gonna be a hot one in Chi town tonight. Fire, fire, fire. And then we go four nights ago. Then we'd whisper three nights ago when we were all in bed. And the song is about the great Chicago fire.

[B]

And I'm familiar with the fire. I'm not familiar with that song, Get Saved.

[A]

But the story is that Mrs. O', Leary, in 1871, a lantern fell over in her barn, and As a result, 17,500 buildings, 300 people were killed, 125,000 people were homeless, all from a single spark that started in her barn. You know, when I used to live in California, in between summer and fall, there's our fifth season in California. It's fire season. And there's these wildfires that are just devastating. They just wreak havoc on the community, on entire cities. And what's interesting about a wildfire that just totally destroys everything in its path, its path is not how it ends, but how it begins.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

Just a single spark. And I want you just maybe to read the beginning of verse, you know, chapter three. Maybe read verses two through two and three for a moment.

[B]

Yeah, absolutely. For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he's a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well. Now, if we put bits in the horse's mouth so that they will obey us, we direct their entire body as well. Do you want me to keep going?

[A]

Yeah, I keep on going, actually, through verse five.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Now, if. Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires. So also, the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire.

[A]

Yeah. And verse six says in the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity. The tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. I mean, this is very serious. The scripture says that the tongue is a fire. It has the ability, something small, seems insignificant, to absolutely destroy everything in its path. Proverbs 16:27 says, an ungodly man digs up evil, and in his lips there is a burning fire. As we look to the scripture, we see that the tongue is a disproportionately small muscle in our body, and yet it wields much force. And actually, James gives three consecutive analogies. He says the tongue is like a bitten bridle, like a horse, meaning like a horse is mighty. Job, God asked, you know, have you seen the horse? It's mighty and majestic and yet it's controlled by a tiny bridle in its mouth. Then he says the tongue is like a ship. These are 1st century Mediterranean ships that could carry a thousand people, and yet they're being directed by a small rudder on the back of the ship. And then he says, here, it's like a fire. I mean, these are three analogies in a row. Something small. I mean, your legs are big, your arms are big, you know, your body is big. And yet your body, your whole soul is being affected and directed by a two ounce muscle behind an army of teeth. And it is a powerful weapon that can either build up, as we'll look at in our next episode, or wreak total devastation and destruction.

[B]

Well, and I think just the points here, we're given this image of like war, culture, commerce, were in many ways directed through the uses of horse, the uses of ships, the use of fire. This is kind of a personal one for me because my middle name's Winston, so Henry Winston Bowen. I'm actually, I've been an imposter my whole life. My name's not Hank, but my dad named me Winston after Winston Churchill. And he was a fanatic about Winston Churchill. He had busts, he had books on Winston Churchill. And I just think of, when I think of the tongue, I think of Winston Churchill through the tongue, through his tongue. I mean, in many ways steeled an entire nation against a coming force. And it's just an amazing thing when you think about it, that a single guy speaking into a microphone can actually change the, like, psychological makeup of thousands of people listening all through the use of his tongue.

[A]

Yeah. And it's true not only for generational leaders that have that influence, it's actually whatever sphere of influence you have, the people around you, it's that influential. In verse seven of the same chapter, it says for every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea is tamed and has been tamed by the human race. Meaning. I've been to Thailand with Katie. They have, you know, elephants that can paint watercolor with their trunks. It's amazing. You have Paris that can recite the constitution. You have dogs that can grab you snacks from the fridge. Meaning here James is just saying every species of beast and birds has been tamed. You can do tricks with it. You know, lions can Jump through hoops. But verse eight, no one can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil. You know, we used to sing the song growing up in Chicago. You know, sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

[B]

I'm familiar with this song.

[A]

Good. Biblically speaking, that song is a total lie because the tongue is very powerful and it does hurt, it's destructive, and the scripture says it's a fire. Not only is it powerful, though, secondly, it's restless. In verse 8, we just read it. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison. People spend the majority of their lives talking. The average person spends, you know, talks, 7,000 words a day. Some women says one statistic, they speak 20,000 a day.

[C]

Some.

[A]

But Proverbs 10:19 says, however many words you speak, where there are many words, wrongdoing is unavoidable. But one who restrains his lips is wise. Meaning this, that the scripture says there is a direct correlation between the amount you talk and the amount you sin and the speech you utter, as we have already discussed, reveals your heart. In Matthew 12, Jesus says, A tree is known by its fruit. Right? I mean, how you live. That makes sense. And then he's going to transition directly from that saying, like, okay, however you act on the outside reveals what's on the inside. He's going to talk immediately after that about the mouth. He says in verse 36. But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, this is a scary verse. They shall give an accounting for in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned. He says every idol, careless word. You know what that means? It just means words without intention, without premeditation. And he says every word you speak is going. You're going to be held accountable for why? Because words matter. It's not just what we do with our bodies. It's not just sexual sin that's serious to God. It's how we employ the tongue that he's given us.

[B]

It's a sobering thought when you're talking on a podcast of practically knowing, like, people are going to listen to this. And so every word matters. But your point is not only it doesn't matter if you're know, being beamed out for some number of people to hear in a variety of geographies, but every single word for every single person, you might never talk on a podcast, but even what you say to your neighbor matters to the Lord on the

[A]

scales of eternity, you know, and we're going to give an account for that. So the tongue is powerful. And it's because the tongue is powerful, the tongue is restless. Meaning we talk all the time, all day long. And God cares about the way we steward that. And then three. The tongue is foul. The tongue is foul. It says in verse nine and ten of the same chapter, James, chapter three. With it, that's the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who have been made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth comes both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Meaning James, point to this. He points to this temptation of the tongue. He says that the tongue is the instrument by which we praise God. And we're singing amazing grace. You know, we can sing about amazing love, and yet it's also the instrument that we use to criticize and curse our neighbor. This is why Paul says that the tongue is. It's this monitor, the MRI of the heart. Even when Paul is trying to punctuate the sinfulness of man. In Romans 3, right before he says, all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. In Romans 3, he says, There is no one righteous three, ten, not even one. There is no one who understands, no one who seeks God. They have all turned aside. They have all become corrupt. Okay, how does that display itself? Their throat is an open grave, and. And with their tongues they keep deceiving. The venom of asps is on their lips, meaning that the natural man's heart is wicked. And the wickedness in their heart is revealed, that their tongue is employed and it just spews poison, deceit, slander, gossip, lies. And for this reason, when you become a Christian, one of the first hallmarks the. The birthmarks. You've been changed is the way that you use this. And we'll talk about this more. But Ephesians 4:29 says, Let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth, and we'll talk about the rest of that verse in the next episode. But unwholesome means words that are not fitting, not proper, not consistent with the character of a Christian. Every single culture has words that they recognize to be indecent, which is why when you watch a show, it can be rated R for nothing other than language. Because the culture has looked at that, you know those words, and says, these are words that we have subjectively decided are indecent. They're improper, they're rude, they're crude, they're foul. And the Christian whose life is governed by the spirit of God is to have this conviction no unwholesome, unfitting word that the culture identifies to be crass or crude or cuss will I employ, because that's one of the chief birthmarks that I've been changed by God. And it's how I use my tongue.

[B]

I just remember growing up I was a little bit of a loudmouth. I know it's gonna be hard for you to growing up, okay, but. No, I just remember there's a particular friend coming to mind. I remember in middle school, like, leaning over to whisper to him.

[A]

Was it David?

[B]

No, but it was another buddy. And whispering to him. And he looked at me horrified because I had misjudged the loudness with which I whispered. And so I'm whispering to him something that I shouldn't be saying in the first place. And whatever I was whispering, whomever I was whispering about, clear as day hears what I'm saying. And so all of a sudden, I'm caught in this moment where I'm saying something I shouldn't be saying. I look over and I see the person just staring at me that I just said something I shouldn't have. And speaking to your point about this duplicitous nature of our tongue of like, I was so embarrassed in the moment because the kind of juxtaposition of what I was saying, what I shouldn't have been being brought to light so quickly in front of me, and then there's nothing you can say that takes it back. But so your point here, your tongue should be aligned. You should only be speaking that which builds up. It should not be unwholesome. But then I think you're going to keep going. For it's not only duplicitous in nature, but it's also just things we say that are outright not true.

[A]

Yeah, it's just things that are not true. But I think that we just really justify a couple things. Like in Ephesians 5, Paul says to be an imitator of Jesus Christ. Okay, what does that even mean?

[B]

It's a high bar.

[A]

Well, he says in verse three that one of the ways that you evidence that you're pursuing Christlikeness is you flee sexual immorality. Understand that? But the next verse says, let no filthiness or foolish talk be even mentioned among you. Meaning I can tell to what degree you're pursuing Christlikeness by the degree that you allow even filthy, silly, crude, humorous. Paul says, don't even joke about things that Jesus Christ came to die for. I think sometimes we, you know, I don't want to do anything with my body, but I can joke about it. Or like we just kind of minimize and trivialize this sin. Paul says it shouldn't even be named among you. Nothing. Nothing. No filthiness, no silly talk, no crude humor. That's something Jesus Christ came to die for. Fourth reality. Here just in. Why the tongue needs to be bridled. The tongue lies. It's powerful, it's restless, it's foul, and it's lying. This includes embellishments, exaggerations, partial truth, full on slander, white lies. Mark Twain once said that a man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself to be a liar. That's a man that doesn't know the Lord, but he gets it. You know, Proverbs 12:22 says, Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord. Revelation 21:8 says, but as for the cowardly, I mean just think about this list. The faithless, the detestable. As for murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, that's witches, idolaters, and one more thing. And all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death. God is a God of truth. Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. He hates lying. John 8. Jesus says, you are of your father, the devil. He is a liar. One of the things that we are committed to doing when we become followers of Christ is Ephesians 4:25. It says, Put away, put aside all falsehood from you like a filthy garment. Is the idea anything false in your life? This is why even in the court of law, you have to swear to say, I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and what, nothing but the truth. Nothing but the truth. Because even the court system recognizes that by nature everyone is a liar. And the scripture says, okay, have you been changed by God? Like because the Holy Spirit's in you now, you have the power to be able to do this. Put aside every ounce of falsehood like a, like a disease.

[B]

And it's just, it's particularly convicting where you started. It's, it's not only the like big lies of, were you doing X? No, I wasn't doing X and coming out in like 180 degree. But so often I'm prone to 2% here, 2% there. Exaggeration.

[A]

And that slivers of a lack of truth.

[B]

Yeah, 100%.

[A]

Yeah. Ninja. Fifth reality. Why the tongue needs to be bridled. I'll let you guess this final one. I read this one time and I thought it was thought provoking it goes like this. Who am I? I have no respect for justice. I maim without killing. I break hearts and ruin lives. I am cruel and malicious and gather strength with age. The more I am quoted, the more I am believed. I flourish at every level of society. My victims are helpless. They cannot protect themselves against me because I have no name and no face. To track me down is impossible. The harder you try, the more elusive I become. I'm nobody's friend. Once I tarnish a reputation, it is never the same. I topple governments and ruin marriages. I destroy careers and cause heartache and sleepless nights. I wreck churches and separate Christians. I spawn suspicion and generate grief, making innocent people cry on their pillows. And even my name hisses. My name is what? Gossip. Gossip is a particularly deadly sin. It has damaged more people, destroyed more relationships, dismantled more churches than potentially every other sin. And sadly, this sin is viewed as minor, I think, in the eyes of many people. But as you look to God's word, this is a major sin in the eyes of God. God hates gossip because their tongues were not given to defame or slander or tear down one another. It was given to praise God and to lift and build one another up. Gossip is a true tragedy.

[B]

And I think so often many of the conversations that'll happen culturally within the Christianity is people kind of push back on if someone's making a clear statement on a sexual ethic. And people kind of. The pushback will often be like, well, you make such a big deal out of this, this, and this, but you're a liar, and so doesn't that make you as much a sinner? And the implication is, well, you shouldn't make as big of a deal about this because we all agree kind of lying isn't that big of a deal. But I feel like the. The case you're building here, the case James is laying out, the case the Lord is laying out through all of Scripture, is not that we need to weaken the importance of the other sins, but often it reveals that we're delegating, elevate them. Yeah, we need to take the sin of our tongue significantly more seriously.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Proverbs 16:28 says regarding gossip, a perverse man stirs up dissension and a gossip separates close friends. That's reality. I think there are three common ways where gossip is disguised. First of all, I think gossip is cloaked by godly concern. Hey, I just want to share something with you. You know, I got some concern. I'm only mentioning this to you out of love and I know that you care for them, so I'm just going to tell you something. Secondly, I think gossip is cloaked by prayer requests. Hey, you know what? I don't know if they would mind me mentioning this, but you want to be praying for Becky. You know, her life is in shambles. I think third, gossip is often cloaked and disguised by invitations for wisdom and discernment. I think there's obviously an appropriate place for this. You know, we have to be very careful in how we do it. But, hey, I want to get your take on this. And in reality, it's just because we want to get something off of our chest or we want to share and divulge information that's not ours to share or divulge and often doesn't even involve us. And so Christians, I think, have their PhDs and gossiping and yet cloaking it as righteousness. And we have to be really careful about how we do that. Because right after, you know, Paul says in Ephesians 4, 29, let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth. The next verse, do you know what it is?

[B]

No.

[A]

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit, meaning that all of the things that we're talking about regarding the usage of our tongue, this is something that actually grieves God. It's not just something that God is against. It's. I think it's important for people to know that there is a capacity for the Christian to grieve God. That same word for grieve and do not grieve. The Holy Spirit is the same word. When the disciples found out that Jesus was going to die, and it says that they walked away distressed. And that's what the sin of the tongue does to God. It grieves him as our Father. It is significant, and I want to talk about this more in the next episode about how we are to speak as a child of God. But I think before we do, maybe just one big idea is I think it's no coincidence. Why when we look to the Gospel and we looked at even first Peter 2, 21, it says, Christ also suffered for you, leaving you as an example to follow in his steps, who committed no sin. And then part of the way we know he was righteous, it says, nor was any deceit found in his mouth. And while being reviled, slandered, he did not revile in return. While suffering, he uttered no threats, but kept entrusting himself to him who judges righteously. That's the Father. And he himself bore our sins in his body on the Cross so that we may die to sin and live to righteousness. For by his wounds you were healed. So why was Jesus silent? He was silent and went to the cross as a lamb before its shearers. Because every word that we speak often throughout the day is sufficient testimony to condemn us before a holy God for all of eternity. And so when the scripture wants to compound and punctuate the righteousness of God, it says there was no deceit found in his mouth and he went silently to the cross to pay for the sins of the tongue.

[B]

And he gives us a practical example of what does that look like? We look at Jesus example of him staying silent in light of being slandered. And also sometimes I feel like it, we can almost over spiritualize. I was just. When we grieve the Holy Spirit, like the Holy Spirit is God, he's other, he's holy. But also, if we thought about grieving our spouses or our parents or a dear friend, like that would break your heart. You'd feel bad in a way that sometimes we can almost have such a loftier, other view of God that we lose the personal nature of like, you don't want to grieve someone who's done so much for you and cares about

[A]

you, loves you, cares for you. Yeah. And I think we lose sight of that in general about the way we can grieve the Holy Spirit. You know, I think, you know, big idea, maybe just to hang on to while, you know, until our next episode. The number one way you can transform the way you speak is by having a heart that hears the word of God. And I think that often we try to look for five, you know, tips and tricks. What did I do?

[B]

No, I was just thinking. I had a teacher, Mrs. King, when I was in second grade. She said, Hank, God gave you two of these and one of these. And so we need to be listening to the word of God.

[A]

I thought I did something.

[B]

No. Before we can go learn to speak the words of God. Maybe next week.

[C]

You're laughing at me.

[B]

No, I was just smiling, thinking about Mrs. King.

[A]

Hi, Mrs. King.

[B]

Godly woman.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But we need a heart that hears the word of God. And as we do so, and we feast on his truth, God will transform the way we speak. Why? Well, because out of the heart, the mouth speaks. And in order to transform our tongues, God has to transform first and foremost our what?

[B]

Our hearts, our hearts.

[A]

We'll pick it up from there.

[B]

Awesome. Looking forward to it, Johnny.

[A]

Thanks, Hank.