Dinner’s on Me with Jesse Tyler Ferguson

Episode: Colton Underwood – on Causing a Stir on ‘Traitors’ and His Husband’s Bachelor Binge
Recorded: February 3, 2026
Location: The Butcher’s Daughter, West Hollywood, Los Angeles

Episode Overview

In this candid and lively episode, Jesse Tyler Ferguson sits down with Colton Underwood—former Bachelor star, bestselling author, and newly-minted dad—at the health-conscious Butcher’s Daughter café. The pair dig into Colton’s current reality TV turn on 'The Traitors', reflect on his complicated Bachelor legacy and coming out, and exchange thoughts on queer representation in sports and media. Over scrambled eggs and breakfast burritos, the conversation swings from laugh-out-loud reality show shenanigans to deeply personal revelations about identity, mental health, and fatherhood.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Inside 'The Traitors' and Reality TV Dynamics

• Filming Realities & Alliances ([01:19]-[06:00])

  • Colton describes how expectations and alliances are constantly disrupted by big personalities like Lisa Rinna.
  • “You can go in with a clear strategy…and then you meet Lisa Rinna and you’re like, ‘oh, f**k, now I can’t play this way.’” – Colton ([01:44])
  • Insight into filming hours—late nights, high endurance, and the competitive atmosphere especially for “traitors.”
  • The psychological stamina required: “There is an endurance… shooting a show like this.” – Colton ([02:44])

• The Donna Kelce Moment (Taylor Swift’s Future Mother-in-Law) ([02:03]-[06:00])

  • Colton reveals hesitation to “go after” Donna Kelce to avoid backlash from Taylor Swift's fanbase—the “Swifties”—because of his family.
  • “The last thing my husband told me…was like, ‘if Donna’s there, do NOT go for her…do not put the Swifties on us. We have a family now.’” – Colton ([04:14])
  • Talks about the pressure of leading the charge against Donna, how reality editing amplifies or rearranges what actually happens, and how self-preservation drove his choices.

2. Breaking Down Reality TV Tropes and Personal Strategies

• Navigating Social Groups and Stereotypes ([06:02]-[08:00])

  • Discussion of reality show archetypes (Housewives, Gamers, Love Island people), and how Colton—a Bachelor “outsider”—struggled to fit into established cliques.
  • “They still put, like, the Bachelor there, even though… I’m not really connected with any of those people anymore.” – Colton ([05:53])

• Reality TV Production Secrets ([08:34]-[10:15])

  • Colton discusses not knowing who’s cast until arriving, and the lack of real alliances in early car rides.
  • Amusing behind-the-scenes tidbits about never actually eating on 'The Bachelor':
    • “On the Bachelor, you’re literally out to dinner dates… you’re not eating on those dinner dates?”
    • “No… it’s all for camera. So anyway, this is a treat for me.” – Colton ([10:12])

3. Mental Health, Therapy, and the Toll of TV Fame

• Contrast with ‘The Bachelor’ and Self-Protection ([14:44]-[15:38])

  • Colton compares 'The Traitors' environment—where he proactively used the show psychologist—with his Bachelor tenure, where therapy was less accessible and often “used” for production.
  • “I was one of the only people to read my contract. If you ask for the show therapist, they have to contractually put cameras down.” – Colton ([15:09])

• Impact of Public Scrutiny and Coming Out ([16:28]-[21:58])

  • Jesse and Colton share parallels in negotiating sexuality, toxic masculinity, and faith.
  • Colton describes his deeply conflicted experience on 'The Bachelor'—trying to suppress his sexuality in an ultra-heteronormative context, the pain and mental breakdown during COVID, and the ongoing challenge of being labeled by those years.
  • “Even doing a show like Traitors, right under my name is ‘The Bachelor’… And even though I’d consider that one of the most painful chapters of my life…there’s no running from it.” – Colton ([17:49])
  • The haunting reality of digital permanence and parenthood:
    • “My mistakes as a 20-year-old are so publicized…I never want my son to read [those stories], but…I’m gonna have to.” – Colton ([21:31])

4. Relationships, Privacy, and Revisiting 'The Bachelor' as a Couple

• Keeping Love Private and Reclaiming Narrative ([22:23]-[24:50])
  • Colton and husband Jordan’s decision to keep their relationship secret post-Bachelor, trauma from public relationships, and Jordan eventually bingeing Colton’s Bachelor season to understand more of his history and fanbase.
  • Amusing anecdotes about Jordan's reactions and fan encounters:
    • “[Jordan] comes to me…‘do you mind if I watch the show?’…He would be in the bathroom, watching upstairs, and I would just hear him start [critiquing].” ([24:03])

5. Representation in Sports and Pop Culture

• Coming Out in Athletics, Locker Room Culture, and Progress ([27:31]-[33:20])

  • Colton reflects on being an “out athlete” and the immense pressure of representation post-Netflix docuseries.
  • Insightful, honest opinions on the lack of queer acceptance in major US sports leagues:
    • “I think I can say it has not gotten to a place where I would like to see it…players can’t express themselves freely out of fear for their job, fear for media, fear for the organization.” – Colton ([29:04])
  • Story of Michael Sam, the NFL’s first openly gay draft pick, and how fleeting “inclusivity moments” can be used for PR.

• Locker Room Homophobia, Coaching Turns, and Personal Transformation ([32:42]-[33:28])

  • Colton shares coming out to his college coach and how the coach’s support and subsequent change in language impacted both their lives.
  • “I called him…‘I came out to my parents.’ He goes, ‘I’m so proud of you…I’m sorry for the way I talked to you over the years.’” ([32:47])
  • Coach’s humor and clumsy but earnest support highlighted in:
    • “So, what kind of dicks are we into?” ([32:42])

6. Heated Rivalry, Queer Storytelling, and the Evolution of Representation

• Queer Hockey Love Stories and Female Friendship ([33:56]-[36:44])

  • Colton praises HBO’s ‘Heated Rivalry’ for showing a queer story “in a non-traumatic way,” and highlights the importance of female allies in male coming-out journeys.
  • Jesse and Colton discuss the phenomenon of 'Heated Rivalry,' its YA appeal, and the freshness brought by unknown actors.

• Typecasting, Fan Adoration, and Living Beyond Labels ([37:33]-[39:22])

  • Both men muse about the blessings and curses of breakout roles and realities of typecasting, using their own experiences (Colton as “the former Bachelor”, Jesse for ‘Modern Family’).
  • “You know the first line of your obituary is going to be ‘the former Bachelor.’” – Jesse ([39:09])
  • “I mean, yes.” – Colton ([39:12])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Colton’s husband, Jordan, warning about The Swifties:
  “He basically was like, if Donna’s there, do not go for her…Do not put the Swifties on us.” ([04:14])

• Colton on the burden of reality TV identity:
  “Even doing a show like Traitors, right under my name is ‘The Bachelor’…And even though I’d consider that one of the most painful chapters of my life…there’s no running from it.” ([17:49])

• Colton recalling support from his college coach:
  “He goes, ‘I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry for the way I talked to you over the years…So, what kind of dicks are we into?’” ([32:47])

• Jesse’s empathetic reflection:
  “I can’t even fathom what it’s like to struggle with that on a show that celebrates heteronormativeness. It’s really astonishing, such a rich and complicated groundwork…” ([17:10])

• On reality TV editing and outsized reactions:
  “There’s so much that ends up on the editing room…they’re molding how they want the audience to react to all of you.” – Jesse ([06:24])

• Colton on public mistakes and fatherhood:
  “My mistakes as a 20-year-old are so publicized and opinionated…The internet’s forever. One day my son is going to have to…read those.” ([21:31])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• The Traitors & Donna Kelce: [01:19]–[06:00]
• Editing & Game Strategy: [06:02]–[08:00]
• Reality TV Eating Habits: [10:06]–[10:15]
• Therapy and The Bachelor: [14:44]–[15:38]
• Coming Out Journey & Public Scrutiny: [16:28]–[21:58]
• Fatherhood & Relationship Privacy: [22:23]–[24:50]
• Queer Representation in Sports: [27:31]–[33:28]
• Heated Rivalry & YA Love Stories: [33:56]–[36:44]
• Breaking Free from Typecasting: [37:33]–[39:22]

Tone and Takeaways

The episode is honest, warm, irreverent, and deeply personal, blending laughter with vulnerability. Colton and Jesse’s easy rapport opens space for hard truths about fame, sexuality, and the enduring effects of public life, all without self-pity. The conversation balances reality TV spectacle with clear-eyed reflection on growth, acceptance, and the ongoing struggle for LGBTQ+ visibility in sports and media.

This summary offers a comprehensive guide to the episode’s revelations, humor, and emotional resonance—capturing what makes both the show and its guests unique for listeners new and returning alike.