Bushes are BACK: Rachel Scanlon

Summary

Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley — “Bushes are BACK: Rachel Scanlon”

Guest: Rachel Scanlon
Date: June 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This riotous episode of Disgraceful shakes down the week’s hilarity with comedian Rachel Scanlon. Set in New York, Grace (aka "Unwell") and Rachel dive deep into queer culture, generational ginger solidarity, the rollercoaster of standup careers, OnlyFans, sexuality labels, awful comedy advice, the return of the "bush," and women’s experiences with family, love, and self-acceptance. Hijinks abound as queer bits fly, voices are raised, karaoke is sung, and podcast meta-discussion becomes its own running joke. Nora O’Malley, Grace’s sister, pops in as the “HR department head”—helping nudge the banter into hilarious, sometimes heartfelt, places.

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Key Themes & Discussion Points

1. Bushes Are BACK—The Spa Experience

• The Big Reveal: Nora recounts her recent trip to a Korean spa where she observed “Bushes are back, okay, I’m talking every single person… Gen Z to Boomer. It’s Bush City, USA.” (01:09)
• Rachel, also ginger, commiserates on the unique experience of having the only ginger bush at the spa:

  “I was the only one with a ginger bush… and it went straight to my head, I was like, I'm really special.” (49:46)

2. Ginger Solidarity & Stereotyping

• On Looking Alike: They decry the “all gingers look alike” trope, noting how such comments would be unacceptable about other groups (05:52).
• Freckles & Fire Crotch: The comedians review their shared ginger experience, swapping stories about sunburns, being called “fire crotch,” and being asked whether “carpets match the drapes."
• Famous Gingers: Naming top gingers: Lindsay Lohan, Julianne Moore, Prince Harry, Little Orphan Annie, and “Wendy from Wendy’s” (77:20).
  • Quote:

    “You did Wendy for spirit week?” “We all did.” (77:30)

3. Sexuality, Outness & Lesbo Discourse

• Labels & Spectrums: The lines between lesbian, bi, soft butch, “fruity butch,” etc., are lovingly and self-reflexively blurred.
  • Quote:

    “On the gradient spectrum, there’s — we’re in the same color. Do you know what I mean? ... Sexuality and also, like, the actual color of our skin.” (11:22)

• “Coming out” meta-conversation includes joking about the moment:

  “Congratulations on coming out as gay.” (43:12)

4. Upbringing & Religion: Purity Culture & Catholicism

• Virginity Rallies: Nora details the strangeness of Midwestern "virginity rallies," promise cards, and youth group life (19:04).

  “In my hometown, there was a club called Club 3 Degrees that was like a Christian nightclub. You would see like a local worship band... virginity rally.” (16:13, 19:04)

• Rachel contrasts with Catholic guilt:

  “Where they just told you you’re already wrong. You’re fucked.” (19:18)

• Notable Bit: Roleplay of an altar girl going “freeball” and mother’s expectation to quit church duties by confronting the priest (20:42).

5. Standup Careers: Woes, Bombs, Bad Advice

• Struggles in Midwestern/Megachurch Venues: How “no sex, no gayness” rules make performing nearly impossible (27:30).
• Horrendous Comedy Advice:

  “Don’t wear shorts. Don’t move. Don’t do voices. ... All of the advice is so polarizing. You can't listen to anyone but yourself.” (37:46–39:06)

• Both discuss bombing at college gigs, running shows in odd venues (bars, synagogues), and writing new material every set as a rookie mistake.

6. Queerness in Mainstream Culture

• Comedians & Representation: The duo praises the importance of comedy competitions for queer and women comics (“Funny AF,” “Last Comic Standing,” etc.).
• OnlyFans Real Talk: Nora talks posting standup rather than nudes on OnlyFans, and how polite her women fans are in contrast to imagined male ones:

  “Like, if it pleases the Lord, Lord. ... If I could see that ginger bush…” (56:13)

7. Ongoing Friendship & Podcasting Meta-Jokes

• The women return often to how hard it is to end a podcast, how they find instant friendship, and the difference between Midwestern and East Coast openness:

  “I thought if I don't fuck with someone immediately ... I had to hate them.”
  “And I thought that I had to be in love with every single person I met.” (75:33)

• Rachel jokes about how gingers are a marginalized group and how “we've got to stand up tall for each other. Sunscreen budget high.” (77:16, 77:18)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Bushes back. Okay, I’m talking every single person. Not even just like the generation... Gen Z to Boomer. It’s Bush City, usa.” – Nora (01:11)
• “It was Bush o'Clock. It was George W. Bush down there. It was fucking 9/11.” – Nora (03:23)
• “Do you ever fuck another ginger before?” – Nora (06:35)
• “My whole View page is always wlw...” – Rachel on her TikTok For You Page (43:43)
• “The last people we can make fun of in this whole world is in us... we’re going to make them the gingers.” – Rachel (07:22)
• “What's the worst advice you've ever gotten?” – Rachel

  “Don't do voices. Don't wear shorts. Plant your feet, do not move. ... I'm a fruity butch, if I'm honest. … I dress like Aladdin but I have the gay energy of Jafar.” – Nora (37:06, 64:42)

• [On women's sports and queer TikTok trends:] “Everyone got so horny after Heated Rivalry, and now women are ... mad at men. … I think people assume lesbians hate men—bisexual women hate men.” – Nora (44:01)
• “Fetty Wap karaoke break!” – Rachel & Nora harmonize, discuss music crushes (60:11)
• “I only post standup over [on OnlyFans]. And people hate that. They don't want that on that platform.” – Nora (55:20)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Bush Discourse & Ginger Solidarity: 01:02–07:10 | 49:46–50:14
• Queer Representation & Comedy: 07:17–13:10 | 29:03–39:06 | 43:06–44:45
• Religion, Upbringing, and Sex: 16:06–20:39
• OnlyFans, Standup Online: 54:45–56:34
• Podcast Meta, Friendship, & Ending Difficulties: 75:33–81:06

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Recurring Running Bits

• Gay/lesbian stereotypes and role models (from Liza Minnelli impressions to “dyke box” jokes)
• Podcasting humor: “How do you end your podcast?” / “Just dead silence. Like the Sopranos.” (81:48)
• Ginger resilience: “We’re a marginalized group... We got to stand up tall for each other. Sunscreen budget high.” (77:16–77:18)
• Finding silver linings in shared traumas (comedy bombs, church memories, family interventions)

---

Tone & Style

The episode zings with improvisational energy, self-deprecation, candid confessions, and loving but cutting banter. Rachel and Nora’s queer perspectives infuse every subject, turning even awkward topics (church purity culture, bombing in Iowa, OnlyFans disappointments) into playful, ironic bits. The language is casual, explicit, and hysterically honest—a loving roast, a real-life friend audition, and an inside look at the business (and business) of being an openly queer comedian today.

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Final Thoughts

Rachel and Nora’s chemistry is undeniable—effortlessly toggling between raucous bits, identity politics, and genuine warmth. The highlights—the return of the bush, ginger pride, and how women support each other in comedy and beyond—are foiled by hilarious self-awareness and the collective queer spirit that animates every joke. In typical fashion, the episode ends not with a tidy bow, but a call back to bush talk, airport snacks, and mutual love:

“Are we friends?”
“Yes, of course.” (74:50)

For fans of queer comedy, self-acceptance, and true camaraderie, this episode is a must-listen.

Transcript

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

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[Rachel Scanlan]

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[Nora Scanlan]

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[Nora Scanlan]

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[Rachel Scanlan]

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[Narrator/Ad Voice]

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[Nora Scanlan]

And I'm alerting you now. Yeah, everywhere.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, wow.

[Nora Scanlan]

Bushes back. Okay, I'm talking every single person.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh.

[Nora Scanlan]

Not even just like the generation of like everybody had Bush. Gen Z to Boomer. It's Bush City, usa.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wow. Was it the wintertime?

[Nora Scanlan]

It was two weeks ago.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

It was Bush o'. Clock. It was George W. Bush down there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It was fucking 9 11.

[Nora Scanlan]

It was crazy out there. It really was nuts.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Damn. Damn. I think loose cash. Pretend we're just chilling.

[Nora Scanlan]

And we are.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, we are. I call this a mandatory hang.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love mandatory hang. You know, thank God. And we're live and we're rolling. We're streaming on Twitch.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We're streaming. I don't know if you know you. You look smacks. You look like you look smack.

[Nora Scanlan]

Do I look like it? I look smacking. I grab a hammer, just kind of.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, so you know you.

[Nora Scanlan]

I mog.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, you mog.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm fucking mog boy central. Like frat. I have lats.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You mogging to hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm fucking.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm mogging to hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm not going to hell. Do you want to know how? I actually, the algorithm introduced you to me. Do you know how?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Uh. Oh, barstool.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

No.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay, cool.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sunburn.

[Rachel Scanlan]

A rat. Ah, brutal.

[Nora Scanlan]

A rat.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. I was the color of Yiff it.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, sunburn. And I went. This cold girl is like me. Like I feel very kindred.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. So there's A very small amount of us who do have freckles, you know, the red tint, you know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, yeah. Are you fire crotch?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I. I mean carpets, drapes, you know how it goes.

[Nora Scanlan]

For sure, for sure.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, for sure. 100 and you know, that's been. That's been a question my whole life.

[Nora Scanlan]

But there's very little of us who get it 100%.

[Rachel Scanlan]

How often do you look up into that sun?

[Nora Scanlan]

I can't. You know, I can't. Yeah, like the way that. And my wife is melanated heavily and she can go. She can be in the sun.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

And I'm like, I need you to carry a parasol for me.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Parasols are so fucking ridiculous. No, please.

[Nora Scanlan]

And I'm too gay for a parasol. Like me being like, babe, where's my parasol? What do you mean?

[Rachel Scanlan]

It. It doesn't have a. It doesn't have multi function.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's only to block the sun. You can't block the rain.

[Nora Scanlan]

Please, silly.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's fucking.

[Nora Scanlan]

You didn't make it waterproof.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Just fucking get an umbrella, please.

[Nora Scanlan]

I look like a cocktail. I look like a weird Mai Tai when I have it. Like, it's not right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm so. I'm somewhere in a mojito.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes, please. But no, the ginger representation. We do need each other.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Ginger.

[Nora Scanlan]

Ginger.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. We're trying to drop the heart on as a collective. Yeah. Thank you very much. And the people in the back. I want to tell everybody here, as I look into the cameras, I am hammered. Shout it out. You know, I'm in la. I'm having a blast. Nobody drinks here. I'm having fun. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's the festival.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I had to tell on myself. I don't. I didn't know you were sober. I'm sorry about that. Is that a secret, though?

[Nora Scanlan]

No, it's not a secret.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay, wonderful.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, please let people know. And I also support drinking during the day. That was my favorite time to drink.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I sound like a housewife. I'm like, yeah, you know, he's winning la. I got to get my. I got to get my rocks off.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love that your housewives are a deep baritone.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Well, New York Luan.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, yeah, the Countess. She is a little bit of a baritone.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, yeah, she. I mean, she's got the rasp.

[Nora Scanlan]

I feel like she. Don't you think?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, no, no, she fought. She. I thought you're going to say what kind of people she fog.

[Nora Scanlan]

I feel like she gives the energy that she's. She's like a couple of women and then was like. And so what? I don't make it my whole personality.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think. I think she would end up being like, well, I'm not gay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, exactly. She's like, yeah, yeah, I eat box, but I'm not dyke, you know?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. At least I tie it up with a bow.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Big time.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Box is a present. I don't know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Let's move on.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's how I feel. I'm teetering. I'm teetering.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, I get that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. I mean, everybody knows that I'm gay until I find out myself. Yeah. I'm getting there at some point. You know what I mean?

[Nora Scanlan]

Life's long.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It just takes. Well, it's kind of short. I kind of gotta, like, it's. Let's do this.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like, decide.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, I know.

[Nora Scanlan]

The world wants you to pick. You don't have to pick.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Well, it's just like everyone says, I would be such a good game. I'm like, you're so right.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, I got the vibe. What did you think?

[Nora Scanlan]

Les. Lesi.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure, for sure. And I'm going. I'm going for guys that could be lesbians themselves. So, you know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, it's.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I think if you think.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've got a thing.

[Nora Scanlan]

People are, like, swiping through and they don't know either of us. And they're seeing this clip, they're probably saying, like, wow, there's a.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Two cousins.

[Nora Scanlan]

Cousins.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Three.

[Nora Scanlan]

Irish family reunion. Lesbian and gender confused. Connor story.

[Rachel Scanlan]

100%. Thank you very much. Thank you for coming to our confused TED Talk. Siblings are dating. Yeah, I'd say. But here's the thing. Everyone says that, so, you know, I would never say that any black person looks like any other black person. You know what I mean?

[Nora Scanlan]

For sure.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Why is it okay for people to run around and say the gingers are looking alike?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. No, you're right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's kind of crazy.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, the double standard's crazy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, we don't look alike, but we have the same features. So people are like. You guys are twists.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And has anyone said that yet? No.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, but they will.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But they will.

[Nora Scanlan]

They absolutely will.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I already see it coming.

[Nora Scanlan]

We can see down the pipeline. I can sense what my comment section will be like before I even hit the post because I already know. I didn't know JoJo Siwa did comedy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, nice.

[Nora Scanlan]

Original. Bad Fuck.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Dad, get off your burner. No, please leave me. It's like my. Fuck my daughter. 378. So do you. You have a hard time with your dad?

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, shit. Wait. Also, wait. I was gonna say to you about gingers. You ever fuck another ginger before?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, I just. I do have a type, though. I kind of.

[Nora Scanlan]

What's your type?

[Rachel Scanlan]

In a narcissistic way? I. I did have a cross on the ginger for a very long time. No. Introduce me to his girlfriend. I kicked him in the balls. What?

[Nora Scanlan]

I can't believe this.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Y know, I can't believe myself.

[Nora Scanlan]

I feel like you're the only ginger that I know that's ever been attracted to another one of our kind.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I know. Well, you know, someone's got to support us, I guess.

[Nora Scanlan]

Hey.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, dude.

[Nora Scanlan]

Hey, hey, hey.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Everyone's against us, man.

[Nora Scanlan]

You know, you're right. It is tough. It's tough out there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's like that one thing. It's like. Oh, yeah. It's like everyone's the same. Until it comes to ginges. We're the last people we could pick on. Want to talk about Wicked? Do you want to talk about that?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes, I do.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Thank you.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course I do.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Because literally nobody wants to talk about it.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I'm always trying to talk about it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

The last people we can make fun of in this whole world is in us. So we're going to make all the little. Fucking. The people we don't think are real and belong. We're going to make them the gingers. Shitting.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, it feels really pointed.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Add any other subculture into that space, the movie's doomed.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. No, we can't. I mean, all the munchies are anymore Gay? I don't think so.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. God forbid.

[Nora Scanlan]

God for.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They were a little gay.

[Nora Scanlan]

They were a little.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They were like gay little gingers. Come on now.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I'm feeling targeted.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, Nessa.

[Nora Scanlan]

Nessa.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Gay as hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, that's. I've got something to. Yeah, I'm hearing it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Say it with your chest, man.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a. That's a homosexual twink.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. You know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Someone needs to protect us. I'm glad that you're out there trying to have sex with gingers. I think that's powerful. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah. And I haven't had sex in years, man, so. No, no years. So, yeah. So I'm just like, chilling. Everyone's always talking about sex. I'm like, who cares? You. Oh, you have a wife.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

I'm sorry.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah. I love to do it and I. Yeah, yeah. Interesting.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You know, it is what it is. Let's Move on. I have a car. So when I say no, if I wasn't hammered, I would. So this is called the icebreaker. I'm gonna say some words, and then you tell me what comes to your mind when I say this. Get a girl tv get it, girl

[Nora Scanlan]

Get a girl tv get it, girl

[Rachel Scanlan]

get it girl Get a girl tv

[Nora Scanlan]

get it, girl tv get it, girl

[Rachel Scanlan]

this ain't unlocking nothing.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm not. I'm. I feel like. Am I old? Probably. What is this unlocking?

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's supposed to relate to you. My sister does some great research. Apparently you have. It was in the. It was in the bio of, like, the. The show that you used to do on YouTube. Let's move on.

[Nora Scanlan]

Wait, wait, no. First of all, I'd never done a YouTube show.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It was some. It was serious. Something.

[Nora Scanlan]

There's something. It might not be this, but I did a. I one time. You know how sometimes you have to do, like, beyond, like, the news?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I wish. Like,

[Nora Scanlan]

okay. I. One time, I think a decade ago, this, like, spin off of, like, latv, like, new show was like, we want a comedian on. And they were all like, nice seeming straight women, but they. They knew I was coming. And my brand at. At that time and also at this time is very lesbianic. I showed up. They all dressed like lesbians.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That was my plan today. But you did. It's not my coming out party yet. That's my 30th birthday.

[Nora Scanlan]

They'll dress like lesbians. Like, sideways hats and overalls and like, timber. Like Tim's.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Me?

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I'm not shitting you. Is that what you're referring to?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Are these little blonde girls?

[Nora Scanlan]

Some most. It was so bizarre. And then they were like. They were all like, do you think I look dykey today?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay, cool. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

All right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sure. So.

[Nora Scanlan]

So is that the question that you wanted me to.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, But I'm loving this. Whatever this might be. This is awesome.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sorry, I'm just like, what is this?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm gonna record this angle because this is hilarious.

[Nora Scanlan]

After they were like, after three straight

[Rachel Scanlan]

women back into this microphone. What's the guy from Monsters, Inc. And he just, like, wheels us off.

[Nora Scanlan]

Randall.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Randall. I just Randalled my ass back to the mic like a little freaky snake.

[Nora Scanlan]

This microphone is trying to smack. Okay. After those straight women all dressed like me, I blacked out. And they were like, can we do some social media content? And then we did that. They were like, what are some misconceptions about lesbians? And I tried to just work, stand up into like a straight to camp. You know what I mean? Of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I was like, I guess this will work. But I was.

[Rachel Scanlan]

How's this going to hit with the strays?

[Nora Scanlan]

I think I was also blacked out, you know, I'm so burnout. I think it was half drunk. You know when you wake up and you're like, let's ride it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Me, tomorrow, after I realized that I came fucking fucked up to this pod. Crazy. No, please.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's the fest. We must. You have to drink twice for me. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, of course. I'm just trying to take care of our own, you know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Thank you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

As an almost lesbian ginger girl. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, you're like, I'm right there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's so close. It's just like. I'm. I just. I gotta.

[Nora Scanlan]

On the gradient spectrum, there's. We're in the same color. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Sexuality. And also, like the actual color of our skin.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think that could get down to being typecasted as the same role.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So, like, we're probably going out for the same shit for sure. I think I'm getting Meg Selter's old shit that she doesn't want.

[Nora Scanlan]

Hysterical.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. She doesn't want to be like a.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm getting Raggedy Ann's old shit.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Who's Raggedy Ann?

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Raggedy.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. I'm getting Little Orphan Annie's, like, grown up stuff.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Dude. A goal of mine to be Andy in a play. I was just. I didn't have the balls to do it.

[Nora Scanlan]

Really? Didn't have the balls to sing at all.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I can only sing if I'm singing like Liza Minnelli. I got to put on a facade I love.

[Nora Scanlan]

I can sing so good.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Really?

[Nora Scanlan]

The sun will come out. Oh, let's harmonize tomorrow. Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there will be sun I love when you speak a little. There'll be sun There sure will be sun yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, my God. Chills.

[Nora Scanlan]

Chills. Nips. Hard. Are you guys hard in the. In the control room?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was hard in the stool.

[Nora Scanlan]

So hard. So hard. Is it the straightest woman on earth?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So hard.

[Nora Scanlan]

So hard.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So hard. It's fun. I'm dead ass bricked up right now.

[Nora Scanlan]

For real.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So hard.

[Nora Scanlan]

Some dude. That scared my dick right up.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, dude. Salute, soldier. Oh, shit. I hate that. I can pander. Fuck.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. No, it's good.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

It's good.

[Rachel Scanlan]

How do you do in the South?

[Nora Scanlan]

I fuck with the South.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You fuck with the South. Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

I didn't realize Cause I'm Northern. I'm from the Midwest. I started twisting all time. Thank you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Aside from mine.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes, of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Northeastern.

[Nora Scanlan]

You call them grinders out there, your sandwiches.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, we call them subs where I'm from. Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Hell, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You know what?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What do you call them? Sankis Smashes.

[Nora Scanlan]

You went like this. You went.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What do you call them? What am I doing? What do you call them? I'm showing off.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I love. I love. I love the South. I feel like the south and. And the Midwest are very similar in that we love, like, a dipping sauce and people are nice.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like, there's an energy. Yeah. They've been, like, polite people calling me ma' am a lot, which is sometimes fine.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I see something really wrong with that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Do you?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

As soon as they hit me with that, I have something. I'm like. I get. I. I become defensive.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But that's where I'm from. Like, it's like where they do fake nice, even though if they don't like you and we'll just say it to your face. So I have a problem with that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But maybe sometimes people are just being nice, you know?

[Nora Scanlan]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But I don't know. But.

[Nora Scanlan]

And that's okay. It's because you're from a culture where people. You don't.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You.

[Nora Scanlan]

If you. If they're being mean, you should know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. I already have my walls up.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course. I'm from the North. Very passive. I'm Lutheran, very raised, like, Veggie tales Christian. You know, like the mega churches where, like, kids go to, like, weird neighborhoods and paint their houses and are, like, also, like, singing, like, Reliant K. Are you familiar?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Now we're going to have to deep, deep dive into what that is. Okay. Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Christian rock, that was my church, but it made us very passive aggressive culturally. Youth group.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Gotcha.

[Nora Scanlan]

You know, like a youth pastor who, like, is kind of hot, but is also, like, nobody should have sex.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And also pork.

[Nora Scanlan]

And the girls, 1,000.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean, it's just, like, kind of a cliche.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah. Just. Just right up. Pork and.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Well, at least it's not the priest pork of the kids. Exactly.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, it's very. It's much better to say these girls are at least past their period, 100% their passive period.

[Rachel Scanlan]

The way, you know, the way God intended.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, the way God intended. Big time. In a big way. Yes. But passive aggressive is what we are. But I like. I like the East Coast. Sometimes I'm scared of the East Coast.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Why?

[Nora Scanlan]

Because of that if somebody's mad at you, they'll yell at you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. But that means they like you.

[Nora Scanlan]

Really?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. It's crazy. It's so stupid.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh shit.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. If I like, if I fuck with you, then I'm. I'm going to give you so much shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But that's because I love you.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. It's crazy.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's your love language.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yes.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Interesting.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And also gifts because I can't touch or show affection.

[Nora Scanlan]

You're a gift giver.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I love giving a good gift.

[Nora Scanlan]

What kind of gifts do you like?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Something so like sentimental and like well thought out and like I heard you say it that one time.

[Nora Scanlan]

You are a lesbian.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean all roads lead back 100%. Okay, so we've got. We got. Get it girl TV. So that was like something we think might have been wrong but ended up being quite all right in those ladies eyes.

[Nora Scanlan]

I randalled my way in here.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Let's go, Rando. Yeah, shout it out, Rando. What about Club three Degrees?

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, okay. This actually kind of relates to what I was. My mega churchy type of vibes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yes.

[Nora Scanlan]

In my hometown there was a club called Club 3 Degrees that was like a Christian nightclub.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So what does that entail?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, you would go see like a local like worship band.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Nor just had a Big Gulp swallow.

[Nora Scanlan]

People are crying. Weeping.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, is losing her mind.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's definitely not good. And I'm going to go. And they would basically do rallies that were like. We are.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What kind of a rally? We got a rally. And I don't like.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't like the virginity rally.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

What virginity rally?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No. So that's something I don't fucking understand.

[Nora Scanlan]

You're telling me. Well, shoot. It does kind of come back three years.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Excuse me.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oopsie. Like we actually cut that part of the episode. You sound fucking crazy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, throw my fucking cards. Excuse me. So defensive. I'm so gay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, and that's powerful.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

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[Rachel Scanlan]

So a virginity rally.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. So it would be like we would all sign like a promise card that was like, we are not gonna. We won't have sex. No one will. Something like, I'm assuming that you did the same thing.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Kind of, sort of. Not at all. I grew up in the Catholic church.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Where they just told you you're already wrong. Right. So like you're already. You're fucked. You're done. You've already ruined your life. Your best chance is get married and get pregnant.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's kind of what they told us.

[Nora Scanlan]

And the religion that I was raised in was like, you could do it. Right. But it's almost impossible to do that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

So they were like, do not have sex. And everybody would like buy hats and shirts that were like, I'm saving myself for marriage. I'm blessed. Virginity rings, that whole vibe.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And that was like what the cool people were doing.

[Nora Scanlan]

Where I'm from, the coolest people were the most virginy people.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wow.

[Nora Scanlan]

They were like, no. But untouchable. It was the cool. Everybody wanted it. And I was so young at the

[Rachel Scanlan]

time, like sold around for goats and shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

It seems like that's what it seems. The purity was like everything. And I at that age did not know That I was gay yet. But I knew that I did not want to sleep with men. So when they were like, you can't. I was like, I love it here. I'm like, yeah, baby.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Not even an inkling in my mind.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right? They're like, promise you you won't. I'm like, I swear to God, I won't. I was like, and what do you do?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm trying to do what you do to tell everyone to stop as well.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, this is great. I should be a youth pastor. Yeah. All those girls.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yep. Yep. Dude, that's what I'm talking about. You get in on the system that you. In the first place, this is it. Right? That's why I was a. An altar girl.

[Nora Scanlan]

Come on.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I thought that they wanted me too. I just wanted the boys.

[Nora Scanlan]

Shoot, it's so lonely out there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, my God. I didn't even wear anything under the she. I was free ball, and no one gave it. Pissed me off, though, because in. Because that's a joke. But in. In real life, my mom told me that I had to go tell the priest that I didn't want to do it anymore.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That was awful.

[Nora Scanlan]

Wow.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm, like, 12 years old. I'm like, I. I no longer with God.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like. Like.

[Rachel Scanlan]

How do you say that as a kid? Like, I'm not really down with your. And I don't want to be here all the time.

[Nora Scanlan]

Was your mom like, I'm not gonna tell him. You tell him.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Wow. And you were 12?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was 12.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

God.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Dude, you're really coming into focus for me as a person. Hell, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Thank you.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love the east coast being like, they're even telling priests out there how they feel.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. It's like, you gotta be straight up. I don't. With you.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Oh, wow.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And thank you for your service. And also, God bless. So what are the. So these are, like, raves for hap. For being a virgin. And then how did you. Like. I'm picturing, like, the bouncer, like, doing, like, a hymen check. Sorry. What am I, a dirty bastard? Yes.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's funny. That's really funny.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like. Yep. Good, good.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, no, that's. That's really funny. God, you're good.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, stop.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I won't. You're very funny.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Hey. And right back at you. That was so funny. You're like, what, do we have the same manager? Why am I here? I'm like, because I'm a huge fan.

[Nora Scanlan]

That blew my mind. That was so nice.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think he Hilarious. I just. I've seen all the clips. What? The clips?

[Nora Scanlan]

No. That's crazy. That's so cool. I just assumed. I'm like, who. Who had to advocate for me to be here?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Who did this?

[Nora Scanlan]

Who had to like beg you to get me on here? And you were like, no, I just like your.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And it also kind of sounds like, like a negative thing. It's like, who made this happen? But it was. It was very positive.

[Nora Scanlan]

It was positive. It was all positive.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Just like T pop in North Hollywood.

[Nora Scanlan]

How the did you know how. Who's getting this?

[Rachel Scanlan]

So nor is creepy. My sister Nora. She's very creepy when she does this stuff, but it's very creepy.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like, deep dive into my Instagram, you know?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Narwar. Nardwar. I never know how to say it.

[Nora Scanlan]

What's your age difference?

[Rachel Scanlan]

33 years.

[Nora Scanlan]

3 years.

[Rachel Scanlan]

3 years.

[Nora Scanlan]

You are 30.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, I just threw a number out. I'm sorry. No, sorry.

[Nora Scanlan]

Who is younger? Guess maybe you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Thank you so much. That's really sweet. I'm the oldest.

[Nora Scanlan]

You are. But by three years. This is nothing. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yes.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay. Teapop Teapot is a. Is a tea shop in the Valley that is no longer open.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Why is that?

[Nora Scanlan]

I think. I don't think they made it through the pandemic. I think they closed after that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We hate to see a small business go.

[Nora Scanlan]

I know, it sucks. And also the owner, shout out Arlene, gorgeous woman. Like driven, kind, funny, like magnetic. She'd walk in the room and you just think, I guess I want to drink tea. I mean, that's crazy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wow.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Powerful.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, she was really something. She's gorgeous. And I met half of the women I dated at that place and then they had a patio. And on the patio I ran a like, stand up show. Oh, of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's awesome.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course I did.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, of course. You have to. There's a space, it's open, people like you. It's awesome, right?

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm like, I'm gonna just stay here for a while. Yeah, I might as well. Yeah. Do you do like, small shows that used to run back started.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh yeah, 100. I. I used to do a show inside the bar of the Ginger that I had a crush on and we did it behind the bar, which I didn't understand was a problem. Like, you did the show? I did the show behind the bar, but I also made him get like. I made him buy like a thousand chairs. And I was like, I'll pay for him. And he was like, no, no, no. Like, it'll be good. We'll do it all the time. We never did it. And, like, we did, like, three of them. And I would write a new set every time.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, of course it sucked.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But he had a giant TV like, like, you know those, like, projector type TVs. So the TV would project the person who was doing the set behind them. So I was like, this is kind of sick. This could be a thing.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And then I was just like, I don't think I'm funny. I don't want to do this.

[Nora Scanlan]

No.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. I was running a new set every time. I didn't know how to get better.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right, because you weren't. Oh, you were not, like, ever working on the same joke.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was just writing new and being like, I suck. No, I didn't know. You work on the same all the time.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right. Of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was so dumb.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, it's tough. I feel like it's when you first start, you end up doing stand up in, like, the weirdest places where you're like, what's your weirdest? I did stand up at a synagogue. I'm not. I am not Jewish, as you guys know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

As we've. As we.

[Nora Scanlan]

As you guys know, I'm a vegetable. Unless you've converted, which I have not. But I remember being like, it was daytime and it was a synagogue, and they were like, hey, it's a synagogue. So, like. And everyone was so nice. The rabbis were cool. Everybody was chill. They're like, we love that you're.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They got a good vibe going on. They know. They don't get too mad about.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, they know what they're doing. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, they're like, they don't make people scared.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, every time anyone's ever explained Judaism to me, I'm like, I get it.

[Nora Scanlan]

100.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I get behind that. Because it sounds like no one's upset. Like, no one's mad at you.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, the vibe is everyone's mad at

[Rachel Scanlan]

you in Catholicism or. Or Christianity.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, it's like a much chiller vibe. And the vibe was very. Also they were like, I think the rabbi might have been a Leslie herself. So I was like, is that allowed, you think? I think so.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's awesome.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, that's awesome. So they were like, we're doing a stand up show, but there's gonna be some kids here. And it's also in the middle of the day and there's like, you know, it's a synagogue. So I was like, well, I have this thing, unfortunately, where sometimes if you tell me, like, you can't talk about like this type of a thing. My brain will go perfect and then that's all I can say.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, yeah, same.

[Nora Scanlan]

And I like defiancy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like I have to do that if you want me. Kind of like, I kind of have to like have one up. I'm not a dick, but like, it's just like my brain tells me that

[Nora Scanlan]

I can't be tamed. I cannot be and I refuse to be. Okay, but when they were like, just don't. Maybe don't do like just sex jokes. I was like, absolutely. And I did like 20 minutes of like strap on material, scissoring material. I was like. And then let me dive into 69

[Rachel Scanlan]

arts and crafts comic. I'm like,

[Nora Scanlan]

it was, it was a lot. It was a lot for those kids. Damn, I feel bad for those kids.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, you're kind of on a list for sure. I think you might be on a list here.

[Nora Scanlan]

For sure. Yeah, daytime shows are tough.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I just don't know how, like, I don't know what I would say. One time I did a show right before I get on, they go, yeah, yeah, by the way, there's a sponsor there. Don't talk about blacking out. Don't talk about doing drugs. Don't cost. Don't talk about binge drinking. Like all. I'm like, there goes my whole set.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right? You're like, that's actually my whole brand.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's literally my like solid 15 I had going at the time. I was like, I'm. I guess I'm a loser.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I was in the. I went to Fudgeing Iowa, which I do have a bone to pick with you. Tour in Iowa.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Is that Boise?

[Nora Scanlan]

No, that's Indiana.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Idaho.

[Nora Scanlan]

Idaho. Sorry, I said the wrong one.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, what's, no, what is it?

[Nora Scanlan]

This, Iowa is like Iowa, Iowa.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What's the capital there?

[Nora Scanlan]

Des Moines.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay. Yeah, no, I haven't been there yet.

[Nora Scanlan]

I did a college show when I had like probably no business running an hour toughy. It's tough cuz you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Cuz who goes to a free show on a, on a Thursday night?

[Nora Scanlan]

Well, a bunch of virgins. Which would be my people. Like typically I'd be like, I can talk to. This I can handle. I'm like, this is going to be fine. But they right beforehand, this like, you know, 17 year old shaking student was like, can you actually do 55 minutes without swearing or talking about sex or really alluding to gayness? And I was like, no, I actually can't do that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's what I shank her right I've

[Nora Scanlan]

never gone 55 minutes without alluding to gayness in my entire life.

[Rachel Scanlan]

My life is gay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Also alluding. What does that mean? I can't even do this. What do you mean?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. God forbid I fucking flex a bone.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, I'm sorry. I put my mullet in a braid. What am I supposed to do? Look, Mormon. Hey, guys.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I just wanted to come out here. I'm Lil Bo Peep.

[Nora Scanlan]

Who me?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Who me?

[Nora Scanlan]

My husband dropped me off on the way here.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He loves to scissor.

[Nora Scanlan]

I mean, he's got a huge dick.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sorry, I was talking about arts and gloves.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's not right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No. That's really fucked up.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's really crazy. And then that's like, what, 15 minutes before I go up?

[Nora Scanlan]

Truly. Yeah. As I was there. Yeah, I bombed.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You can't pivot.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, no. I bombed for 54 minutes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And you're. You're. I'm assuming this is. Was your first hour.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, I mean, I had just done. I had only done stand up for, like, two years.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

So I was not like.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You don't have, like, things you can just pull out of your ass. No, that's like. That's what I was thinking about you. Did you watch the funny AF show?

[Nora Scanlan]

I didn't. Okay. But I want. I will. It's still new on this timeline.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It totally is, but you just didn't vote for people you love. But,

[Nora Scanlan]

you know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You know the friends that were on the show.

[Nora Scanlan]

Damn it. Shout out everybody on that show. We love Kalia.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That ass.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Kalia.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Kalia. Shout out Kalia.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't know. Kalia.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Shout out Kalia.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't know how far she made it. No, wait, wait. What happened? What happened on the show?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, I was just saying that they had to do a roast. They had to do crowd work. They had to do 15 minutes, and then they had to do another 15 minutes, and they had to do another 15 minutes, and all I could think of was, like, thank God these people have been doing it for 10 years.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Because they have so much to pull from.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

If, like.

[Nora Scanlan]

If it was like a true American Idol type of, like we're discovering, here

[Rachel Scanlan]

I am, a new one started. They would have run out touring comics.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wouldn't be as entertaining, too. So it's like a whole thing. I just think, like, the Last Comic Standing was a great show.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And this is, like, a nuanced thing, and I hope they keep doing it. I thought it was, like, a really good Way to feature comics that, like, need more eyes because they're so fucking funny.

[Nora Scanlan]

I think anything that's good for comedy is good for all of us. Totally.

[Rachel Scanlan]

More people, especially kill Tony.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm always. I'm always saying, thank. Thank God. Thank God for that. Do you think I look like Theo Von?

[Rachel Scanlan]

That was so fucking sincere.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm asking. I'm asking. I saw you took a picture with him recently, and when you looked at him, did you think, is that Rachel Scanlon?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I couldn't tell the difference. I knew it. And then we had a conversation and I was like, all right, all right.

[Nora Scanlan]

You went, oh, shoot, this isn't racist.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I got this now. I got this now. Now I'm gonna. Sorry. I don't think I'm gay.

[Nora Scanlan]

God damn it. I knew it. I knew. I'm getting too handsome. No, dude, seriously, I'm becoming a little too theovani.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, I mean, you've got.

[Nora Scanlan]

I mean, I hope. I mean, I don't know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Is this something that keeps you up

[Nora Scanlan]

at night all the time? Yeah, all the time. I'm going, do I. Are people walking around a theovon going,

[Rachel Scanlan]

he ain't got no curl?

[Nora Scanlan]

No, you're right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He's straight as hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

He's straight as he is.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He's straight as hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

He's straight as hell.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He's straight as hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He's actually a very nice guy. He's very nice. I know you don't want to hear that, but he's very nice guy.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I. I would assume he's just super sweet. Once again, I love all comedy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

My mom's trying to get me to date him. I just got off the phone with her. She's like, will you please just, like, try. I don't know, flirt next time? I'm like, I. I just want to be his friend, man. Like, I don't want to. My mom's always trying to throw me on people.

[Nora Scanlan]

Does she want you to have grandbabies? Is that why, or what's the vibe?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, it's not really, but I am the oldest person thus far to not have a child yet in my family like that. I'm up the bloodline.

[Nora Scanlan]

How old are you?

[Rachel Scanlan]

27.

[Nora Scanlan]

You've got so much time. I don't even want a kid right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I want a foster love. I don't want to adopt. I want to foster. I want to. I want to give them that one good spot for that short amount of time that they have. Have.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's so sweet.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think. I think that's like the Best I can do too. Yeah, I can't really commit.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, I'll keep in touch with you, but I. I can't have you forever.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, no.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's a huge little. Like, I'm not gonna say. If once love. I get my together, I'll bring a kid in. I love you like kids.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love kids. I have a. I have a. Well, I guess I love one kid. Is that. Is that okay?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, that's actually perfect. You can't love too many kids.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

It's kind of weird.

[Nora Scanlan]

I feel like Mother Teresa when I said that. I'm like, that's not even me. I don't love all kids. I love one kid.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And who's this shining star for you?

[Nora Scanlan]

My God, baby. She's almost three and she is hysterical.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Is she?

[Nora Scanlan]

And gorgeous. So I like her. And she likes to hug. You know what I mean? She's very social, like, you know, shy kids. I'm kind of like, what the.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like your mother's ordering for you.

[Nora Scanlan]

Grow the up. Say something.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're seven years old. What are some chicken fingers?

[Nora Scanlan]

Say something for your.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Especially as a waitress. I'm like, yo, dude, just order for your kid. You know. You know they're dumb, right?

[Nora Scanlan]

They can't, you know, they're not going

[Rachel Scanlan]

to muster up the courage to order a and honey mustard on the side.

[Nora Scanlan]

No.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Right. You just tell me.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

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[Nora Scanlan]

I only like one kid, but I don't want to. I can't have. I don't want to have kids. That's too much.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I want to live for me and my wife and that's it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Dead serious. That's awesome. Yeah, that's great.

[Nora Scanlan]

Please.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think that actually puts me. That's one more check for gay for me. Yeah, like 100% for sure. Like the whole. The whole white wedding, the children thing. Like, one time I had one friend, like, growing up, like, a really good friend from childhood. Her mom took us for ice cream. We were talking about college or something, and I was like, yeah, no one. My family's ever been to college. College. And then the mom, like, turns around in the car. She goes, now if you had the choice. I'm like, what the is this about to be? She goes, if you had the choice, would you have your dad pay for your wedding or your college? I go, well, he can't do either, right? And this is not even a concern of mine at all. I'm just trying to figure out if I want rainbow or chocolate, right?

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, no.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It was like the crazy. And it stuck with me. And then I'm like, I didn't go to college. I haven't got married yet. Does she think I'm a. Yeah. And the answer is yes. The answer is yes. I just saw her at her daughter's wedding and she does not like me, right? I don't think she does.

[Nora Scanlan]

The two options are crazy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's really crazy. My f. My father, right? My father.

[Nora Scanlan]

I mean, like, would you rather have a job or would you like to be somebody's housewife?

[Rachel Scanlan]

All paid for by your dad, Right? The.

[Nora Scanlan]

The.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Actually, I'd like to be a famous person with my own career. You bleep it.

[Nora Scanlan]

Bleep It. We don't know who that could have been. Anybody.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What's the worst advice you've ever gotten?

[Nora Scanlan]

I feel like I used to get a lot of bad advice up, specifically about stand up when I first started, because I think at that I started, like, a while ago.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And when did you start?

[Nora Scanlan]

I was 12 years ago. I started 12 years old.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was 12 years old. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I ran away doing my scissoring material. Bag on a train.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Say that.

[Nora Scanlan]

I was like. It was 2014. In 2014, a lot of men would give me weird advice about stand up. The whole. Not even just like, no shorts.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Don't look too hot.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Dress up, but don't look too hot

[Rachel Scanlan]

because they'll get distracted.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've heard all of this, which is

[Nora Scanlan]

a weird thing to say to me. I'm very unattractive to men. Like, men are never looking at me, and they're like. You know what I mean?

[Rachel Scanlan]

But what if they think of Theo?

[Nora Scanlan]

Then they probably get pretty gay for Theo. Do people get gay for Theo?

[Rachel Scanlan]

The fellas do.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

I bet they.

[Rachel Scanlan]

The straight ones. Oh, I talk to them. I'll tell you what they say.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, let me know. I haven't talked to a straight man since 2019, so let me know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It is a great way to live. No. What are you smiley? Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm happy. People are nice to me. Men don't look at me. It's kind of.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's great.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But I didn't.

[Nora Scanlan]

I think that men used to tell me, like, they would a lot of notes on my stand up. Don't do voices is the one that I heard. Nerd like, don't do voices.

[Rachel Scanlan]

God forbid. You sound schizophrenic. Oh.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, God forbid. I have a fun time.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Don't do voices. They're gonna give you a lapat.

[Nora Scanlan]

Don't do voices. Don't wear shorts. And they also. I had. Don't wear shorts. Don't wear shorts.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You got weird legs.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I have hot legs.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sorry.

[Nora Scanlan]

Let me let the. Let me let the. The gams out.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You can't wear shorts.

[Nora Scanlan]

What the. Yeah, I can wear short. I have great legs.

[Rachel Scanlan]

The fellas. Maybe you can't wear the cargo shorts. The one pair that you have to have a little rip in it from high school.

[Nora Scanlan]

Please, please.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sorry.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sorry. Some of us have nice legs. And then they would tell me not to move. I. I had a.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What?

[Nora Scanlan]

I had a guy, like, try to mentor me and be like, you should never move when you're on stage. He literally was like, walk out on stage. Grab the mic. Plant your feet. Do not move. And I remember like locking my knees. I'm like a very.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

I'm.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm a. I. I pace. I like, I move. I tap my feet a little bit especially.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We gotta keep the audience up. Pain. Attention.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm like, it's. It's midnight at Flappers. Like, we gotta keep it up.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Come on.

[Nora Scanlan]

But that advice, I remember thinking like, this is so stupid. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Did you listen to any of this?

[Nora Scanlan]

I think I tried one set where I was like, I'll try not to move. And I did not.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No moving. Wearing pants.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Looking like a stupid bitch. You know, Wearing a paper bag. Being like, is anyone horny? I hope you guys don't have boners right now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

How about that airplane food, huh?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. So scissoring's pretty weird.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Dude. That's fucked. That's so crazy. And then most of the advice is so polaring. Like, polarizing.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Because it's like, don't move. And then like you. You meet a comic, like. Like a female comic that you love and they're like, move the around.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Dance. Enjoy yourself.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're like, stay stiff.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Stand clean.

[Nora Scanlan]

No.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Make sure you. You don't show your trousers. Like, it's a bunch of weird fucking advice.

[Nora Scanlan]

No. It's all over the place.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It is all over the place. You can't listen to anyone but yourself.

[Nora Scanlan]

100 that' I love about standup is that it is just your choices. You. It's all what you think is right. It's all how you feel doing it. It's like, that's the most beautiful part of it. It should not be a team. I should not have any notes about what I'm doing on stage.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Especially unsolited, unsolicited. Sorry.

[Nora Scanlan]

You got there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. I slurred. And you. What did I say earlier?

[Nora Scanlan]

Come on.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was just very rude to you and I'm sorry.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, you're perfect.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I. I messed up. I messed up. I got. No nervous.

[Nora Scanlan]

You're an angel.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was. I was.

[Nora Scanlan]

You know, I love how earnest your tattoos are.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Serendipity.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's so sweet.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Thank you. And then this one's for cocaine.

[Nora Scanlan]

Is it? Oh. To put.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Just love.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. That was an after fact. I thought it would be cute right there. And then. And then it kind of had like a little bit of a phase.

[Nora Scanlan]

You're gonna love la. Also. You see my heart fell off.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh my God. Well, at least you have four more.

[Nora Scanlan]

I have four more. I Get. That's what the tattoo artist said. I literally was like, sir, I'd like them on.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, well, actually, you're the one who made it fall.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right?

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's crazy.

[Nora Scanlan]

I know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Those are really cool, though.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, my God, thank you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What else you got for. For yaks? Oh, you don't have to. Oh, that's green. No, you have such a great thing going. Wait, that's sick.

[Nora Scanlan]

Come on.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Those are sick.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, please.

[Rachel Scanlan]

God hates a coward. Yeah, I've been saying that.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm saying.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've been saying that. That's good shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

I didn't know I would show my green bra today.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No. Thank you so much. Much. I appreciate that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Surprised that it's not pink.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Surprise.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Okay. Wasma and Konzo. Wasma and Condo.

[Nora Scanlan]

Cosmo and Wanda.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Dude. Wasmo and Condo. Dude, somebody gave me a Benadryl.

[Nora Scanlan]

Do you have another podcast after this?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No.

[Nora Scanlan]

God, just one?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I can't believe it's just us. You guys always hang out together, like,

[Rachel Scanlan]

oh, me and this.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Course. For those of you listen. Listening. On audio, we're pointing at Nora, my sister. Now, it would be really important for you guys to switch to YouTube because they say the numbers are bad. So do that. Come see. Come see. Rich. Beautiful pink fit. Maybe you'll see a little green bra action. The tattoo thing. You rewind about 30 seconds. You gotta see that. You gotta see that.

[Nora Scanlan]

We really are gonna need more engagement on the YouTube side. Subscribe if you can, because the. The followers on Tick Tock, they don't mean anything. Yeah, no, it has to be YouTube.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It has to. And. And that's what they're saying.

[Nora Scanlan]

You know, listen, I don't. I know. I just launched my YouTube from nothing, like, two weeks ago. Do you know how embarrassing that is?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, no, no, I'm.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

I'm there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm posting vlogs. It's disgusting.

[Nora Scanlan]

You're doing vlogs?

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's disgusting. I have my own personal account posting vlogs.

[Nora Scanlan]

There's.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's disgusting.

[Nora Scanlan]

Literally, just. Everyone's going, like, okay, well, when you're on the road, if you could just vlog. I'm going, when I'm on the. You want me to vlog myself?

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's what I'm doing. It's gross.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's humiliating.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I. I'm, like, slutting myself out for nothing.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm. And nobody's watching.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Nobody's seeing this.

[Nora Scanlan]

No one's watching. I'm going. I'm trying to at least be like, hey, can you maybe go here. People are going, we'd rather fucking die than go over there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I will kill you.

[Nora Scanlan]

They're not. What people are. Hate. No, it's not even that. They're hating it. Yeah, no, no, no one will watch.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They go. That's very funny. Nice joke.

[Nora Scanlan]

Nice joke.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm going to. I'm going to. I'm going to fucking keep clicking on through, you piece of shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm trying to make personalized content for that platform. People refuse to watch it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Bo Burnham said it best. I made you your content. Daddy made you your favorite. Open wide.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Nobody's watching.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm. I'm proud of you for vlogging.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Thank you. It's awful.

[Nora Scanlan]

I bet you're electric when you're vlogging.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, dude, I'm.

[Nora Scanlan]

I bet you're electric.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I got. I got a pass. I used to work a barstool. You know, they kind of breed you to vlog. You know, it's a whole thing.

[Nora Scanlan]

Bar stools, dudes. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, Dudes. Yeah. So that I. That's. I think that's where I started to be like, I think I'm gay. I think I'm. I think I'm definitely gay. For sure.

[Nora Scanlan]

If those are the ones you're looking

[Rachel Scanlan]

at, the thought just started creeping in. I know you're born that way, but it took me a while to find the board. I had to find the born within me. His name's Jason Jesus. Born is Jason Christ. And I'm gay. Wow. This is awesome. I was gonna wait Till I was 30, but today's the day.

[Nora Scanlan]

Today. Congratulations. This is important. We clip that. That's how we go off.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, we clip that.

[Nora Scanlan]

We clip that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

This is that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Congratulations on coming out as gay.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Thank you so much. And now I can finally say the name of your podcast.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

This whole time, I'm like, I Say it.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Say it.

[Nora Scanlan]

We gotta have. Have you on now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Now how. How many of you D bags are out there?

[Nora Scanlan]

I'd say D bag numbers are getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger, and it's a great time.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Those of you who don't know, would you mind just.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sorry. Of course. This is a great time to be a dyke in a big way.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. For real.

[Nora Scanlan]

I mean, I feel like dyke numbers are high right now. Everyone's watching women's sports, everything.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And this is. Again, I'm telling on myself, but my whole View page is always wlw.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, big time. For sure. I think everyone got so horny after heated rivalry, and now women are also simultaneously very mad at men. Which I say, I think that people assume that lesbians hate men. I don't hate men. Bisexual women hate men.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, they.

[Nora Scanlan]

Because they know. Because they're in the trenches. They've seen the other side. I've never seen the other side.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

I've.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They're kind of traitors. Well, they're like. They're like secret spies.

[Nora Scanlan]

They're definitely of a different experience.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You want to know what they said about you, right? And then they run off to the other.

[Nora Scanlan]

They tell. And I don't know. I don't know anything about that other side.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You don't know the bees?

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't know GS, guys. Geez. Yeah. I don't know them. I'm like. Is this your camera? Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What's that? Yeah, you could hear. Hear. And here.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Welcome in.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sorry, did we start? Are we going?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Rolling.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm screaming.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, that was me trying to. Yes.

[Nora Scanlan]

Slate.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, Slate.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I. I don't know. I've never been on a set, so. Yeah. That's a picture that we pulled from the past. What do we got here? Here? Which.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Which one was.

[Nora Scanlan]

What are. How.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, she's disturbed.

[Nora Scanlan]

This is insane.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

How would you.

[Nora Scanlan]

This is a picture of me at the Corn Palace.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, wow. Yeah, we got. We got in there.

[Nora Scanlan]

How did you do that?

[Rachel Scanlan]

My favorite part is I actually don't get to see those. So can I see that?

[Nora Scanlan]

This is. I'm sitting. Wonderful.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've actually. I've been there.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm diving into a pit of corn.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean, that is. It's corn.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's corn. It's so beautiful.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's so beautiful. What was. What was that little corn boy?

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

That.

[Nora Scanlan]

He just loved it. He just loved corn. It's corn.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I can't remember.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's the most beautiful thing in the world.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sorry. ADD rats. I hope that kid gets the money. Me too. It's got the juice. Juice.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's got the juice.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean, that kid could have been a stab.

[Nora Scanlan]

But I wonder where he is now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, where are you now?

[Nora Scanlan]

I mean. Hey, Corn Palace. I can't believe that you had. You've printed this out?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, this morning. Want to check more out?

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course I do.

[Rachel Scanlan]

This is a segment we usually do at the end.

[Nora Scanlan]

What is it?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, you know. You know what my favorite.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't want to do anything.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, this has never happened. I like that you grabbed in your own.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's funny. I feel like it's your reaction? This might be a whole new thing we do now.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love. Oh, my God almighty. See? How. How did you find my. My mom's Facebook? This is me being strapped up for the first time ever as a lesbian. What.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What are you gearing up for?

[Nora Scanlan]

To have sex with a strap? Look at the snow. God, it's beautiful. I don't even know this is. Okay. This is. To be honest.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Are you fencing in the snow?

[Nora Scanlan]

What is it all sex jokes aside, about me putting on a harness to rail some.

[Rachel Scanlan]

This is.

[Nora Scanlan]

This is actually me doing a ropes course with my church youth group. To put your faith in God's hands. Very similar to putting your faith in the harness.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think I put my faith in God's hands all the time. I'm saying, I see a fucking large jump, and I'm like, God.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm saying, I'm going, oh, God.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Looking down, going, that would be nice.

[Nora Scanlan]

Wow. I can't believe we did that in the snow. That's crazy. That is not crazy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

The fucking rope could freeze and it would fucking snap.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right? You don't. It's not church.

[Rachel Scanlan]

People aren't that smart. Sorry. You're not really thinking with your full skull. You can't really put your faith in fucking God's hands. Okay. What if you're wrong?

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Right?

[Rachel Scanlan]

And which you are, you clowns?

[Nora Scanlan]

Tell them.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sorry. I'm just kidding. You guys can enjoy yourselves with your.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm also. I'm wearing so many jackets.

[Rachel Scanlan]

There's a lot of colors, like, 80s, it's 90s.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm wearing a black sweater, a red jacket, a yellow jacket. Jacket.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Are you dying your hair?

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

No.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What happened?

[Nora Scanlan]

So. So you see ginger red, right? Is it not that color anymore?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, it's not.

[Nora Scanlan]

What is. What is this?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, this is strawberry blonde.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't want to. I don't want to identify with that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I know you're not much of, you

[Nora Scanlan]

know, but yours is, like, dark. Are you a brunette?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm like auburn. You.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm like a summer. I'm a summer auburn.

[Rachel Scanlan]

All these. You never call me a brunette. I have been bullied and ridiculed.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I will not not take brunette.

[Nora Scanlan]

I have the sunburn.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You should see it in the light. It's. It's. Come on, vouch for me. She held it up to the light the other day, and she goes, it's red. It's like.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's so red.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, I. Well, I. We were sitting across from each other and I was like, your hair's so red right now.

[Nora Scanlan]

I I went to a spa where you're full naked. Like, full nude requirement spa.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Is that a gay thing?

[Nora Scanlan]

No, it was, like, aggressively straight or it's like, it's just like a Korean spa type of thing.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay, gotcha.

[Nora Scanlan]

And they make you do, like, all the men in one floor and all the women in one floor. I kind of stood there being, being like, okay. And then I went down.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I would be mad confused.

[Nora Scanlan]

I was like, what do I do? But then I thought about being around all naked men. I'm like, I've never seen a naked man once. I can't start now with, like, 20 of them. That would be crazy.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You've never watched porn?

[Nora Scanlan]

20 soft men.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, yeah. I don't know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Soft.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That would be more than I've ever seen.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's if I, if I see it in real life, I want it hard. Yeah, like a, like a rock.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I misconstrued. I, I, I thought you, if you saw it in reality life, you would, you would want it in, like, a hard sense. Like, you're like, I want it so bad.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, no, no, no. I want, you want to see it hard?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah. Rock hard. It's got to be rock hard. I'm gonna be showing up and showing

[Nora Scanlan]

up full nude at the spa. I was the only one with a ginger bush. And when I looked around, because I kind of thought, like, you know, I

[Rachel Scanlan]

thought at some point, as a survey. Yeah, Most people are doing away with the bush. Right?

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Bush.

[Nora Scanlan]

And I'm, I'm alerting you now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Everywhere.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, wow.

[Nora Scanlan]

Bush, bushes, back.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm talking every single person.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, wow.

[Nora Scanlan]

Not even just like the generation of, like, everybody had bush. Gen Z to Boomer. It's Bush City, usa.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wow. Was it the wintertime?

[Nora Scanlan]

It was two weeks ago.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

It was Bush o'. Clock. It was George W. Bush down there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It was fucking 9 11.

[Nora Scanlan]

It was, it was crazy out there. It really was nuts.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Damn. Damn.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, but with all the bush and all the diversity that you're seeing, seeing different ages, different beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, powerful, powerful, beautiful, colorful bush. Really powerful.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, it's autumn.

[Nora Scanlan]

However, I was the only ginger bush. And then I thought, I, it went straight to my head, and I was like, I'm really special. Yeah, you are. I was like, I'm really, really unique.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I don't know if you've ever been to a hairdresser before, of course. And they have, they, they whisper that little thing that they whisper.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yep.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But imagine with your bush and I. Women pay to have that color bush.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'M not gonna lie. The setup on that was pretty good.

[Nora Scanlan]

That was really fire. That was really, really good. There's our clip.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yo, dude, seriously. Oh, it's a clit.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, God. I really want to go sober, but I'm so electric when I'm drunk.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, you really are. You're on fire, dude. Keep it rolling.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yo, dude, I'm not looking for a compliment. I'm just. I'm. I'm finally giving it to myself. I'm not very nice to myself, but when I'm drunk, I'll give it. Let's talk about this.

[Nora Scanlan]

How do you drink and not smoke a cigarette?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, I'm itching.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay. Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, I just. I'm just being polite.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. I'm like. I don't know how the. Is it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay. Do you mind?

[Nora Scanlan]

Please do.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, thank you. I. I'm smoking digital, so it's not going to be all gross.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, no, please do. I can't even imagine. I ripped, like, eight cigarettes last night, and I'm literally like. I woke up barfed a taco.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

I only do the natch. The actual.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course, I figured that once I do that, it's over for me.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean. Yeah, I mean, like. What did you just say? Something about putting it in God's hands.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Send it up.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I don't want to live forever.

[Nora Scanlan]

Have you. I'm going to say something to you, but I don't want you to take this the wrong way. Have you ever seen the videos on TikTok of the guy who makes drinks and he's like. And if I get too fucked up on a Sunday, who gives a shit? And then he makes a drink, and then he's like, double tap. Send it the. To this guys. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, I've seen this, man. Wait, hold on, hold on.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yes. He's awesome. He's.

[Nora Scanlan]

You and him have a very similar. This tall, like, joyous type of, like, Gruffy vibe. Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He's like this all. Yeah, he's awesome. He rocks. He rocks. He's actually the. The redheaded guys that I. I used to have a crush on. That's his favorite creator of all time.

[Nora Scanlan]

He's my favorite creator. He kind of rocks. He's got a really good electric.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He's like, we're out here. We're an island. We're here with the boys. We're gonna absolutely crush for the rest of the sun. And he comes up with his own sayings.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I end up saying myself.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

We're here for a good time, not a long time.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. 100%.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. He's good.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's. That's the vibe I'm getting right now. I'm having a good time.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, that's great.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, that's great.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's all we want here.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Truly and honestly, do you feel like you're at Coachella? We have a cactus.

[Nora Scanlan]

And if you're only listening first of all off, get on YouTube. There's a cact.

[Rachel Scanlan]

There is a cactus.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, yeah. I feel like I'm in Coachella.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. That was. We were hoping for that.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's also giving, like, Arizona. Hello. You ever been there?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I. I do. I like Arizona. I like the clay mountains.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay. Because they're pretty to look at.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. And I like the sunsets.

[Nora Scanlan]

I will say surprisingly large. Phoenix is like a huge city anywhere outside of Phoenix.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Scottsdale. Bachelor trip. Let's go. Me and the boys. Nashville's oversaturated with whores. We're going to fucking Scott.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like, it's so dry.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You don't know straight guys. I'm telling you, this.

[Nora Scanlan]

Is that what they're doing? I don't know straight man at all. You guys know me.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. And I'm telling you, Scott Sales, the move for the boys.

[Nora Scanlan]

I went straight from. I did Chandler, Arizona, and then I went straight to New Orleans, and I was like, these two cities are opposite cities. Yeah. In every sense. Like, one is wet, one is dry. One is where people go to live. The other one's where people go to die. Sound home. Like, that sounds like a greeting card.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That beautiful.

[Nora Scanlan]

I should be a youth pastor.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was gonna say, poet, we all go back to our roots at some point.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

For sure.

[Rachel Scanlan]

For sure. It is what it is.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't want to pay taxes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. And they're gonna make you take the choker off. I think.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

No.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, no, you're right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You ever see with one of those bad boys, There's a little crucifix in

[Nora Scanlan]

here if you look close. Really? No.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But imagine I'm ridiculous. I almost said a bad word. Let's move on. Lower back tats in Austin, Texas. What's that mean to you?

[Nora Scanlan]

I didn't get a lower back tattoo. You know, the. The festival, the moon tower.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Nora Scanlan]

Who to moon tower? And I was like, something about this year, last year, years ago last year.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, what the.

[Nora Scanlan]

I missed you. I think last year.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was there last year. I missed you.

[Nora Scanlan]

How do we not see each other?

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's so okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Literally hate that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, it's really.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sometimes, like, so I'm sober, but sometimes I. I feel like when I'm around, like a festival energy I want to do, you know, even if I'm not hammered to drunk, I feel like a little up. You know what I mean?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, it's like a. It's like a. Like an electric feeling. Everyone's around. Everyone's having a blast. Buzzing.

[Nora Scanlan]

And I was like, around all these dykes, and they were like, we have a tattoo parlor. And I was like, I always wanted an ass tattoo. And so they just, like, captured me and took me to a tattoo and. Yeah, I got an ass tattoo. Got an ass tattoo.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay. Not a lower back.

[Nora Scanlan]

Not a lower back.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're a. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't know who you think I am.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Where it was on the picture.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Wow.

[Nora Scanlan]

You know so much about me now given Only fans.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What. What's going on?

[Nora Scanlan]

Not that I know. If she runs it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You have what it is.

[Nora Scanlan]

Congratulations, you have one.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Now for the two men that are listening, the girls you're talking to on Only Fans. Those are men.

[Nora Scanlan]

Wait, I do have an only fans.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, you do? I do.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay. So I do have an only fans.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So I have. I've heard this thing that. And maybe you're probably very personable with yours, but some people.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Hire like, like a random dude out in probably like Arizona to run the messages.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Sure.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So, like, if you're messaging an only fans person, that's not that most of the time, it's going to be like a little sidekick person. For sure.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sure.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They're getting a little cool.

[Nora Scanlan]

I only post stand up over there. And people hate that. They don't want that on that platform.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Do you advertise it as stand up or. Okay, yeah. You being honest?

[Nora Scanlan]

That's what I'm saying. But they're. You know, I have said. I will say the people are surprisingly polite. Polite when they're. Because I've never been somebody. Nobody's ever asking me for nudes. No one's ever beckoned me because I do not talk to men and men are not attracted to me. And women are very polite.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Do women ask for nudes or do they beg?

[Nora Scanlan]

They. They are so it's like a m guy in your DMs being like, if you had an extra second. For which, if you will.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Actually, I have. I have. If it pleases the Lord, I'll get these two.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if it pleases the Lord, Lord.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Ever considered maybe switching to a side of which you'll show your per se. I would fully enjoy that.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's like that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's actually very sweet.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'll say. Say what you want. Like some very sweet sweet. Like, yeah, like if. I know you love stand up. But if I could see that ginger bush.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm gonna have to see that. That special, special gingerbrush. But people get good money for that.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I do. You know what? Having the only ginger bush at the spa did go straight to my head. I like it's me.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's me.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's. It's all you.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm literally one in a million.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And then

[Nora Scanlan]

look to the Wii spa.

[Rachel Scanlan]

M. The Easton spa. Yeah.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Support for Unwell comes from Google Pixel. Okay, so I recently had one of those Sundays where I convinced myself it was a great idea to to reorganize my entire closet. And of course, halfway through I found myself sitting on the floor surrounded by clothes, completely overwhelmed. So I pulled out my Google Pixel 10 Pro because it comes with Gemini built in on the phone. I launched my camera using Gemini live, showed it my crazy closet and I asked for help. And immediately it hit me up with all sorts of pro organizing tips like what to hang, how to fold stuff, and even helped me decide which items to donate and where to drop them off. Off. It was a lifesaver, ladies. Okay. But while I was neck deep in hoodies, I totally lost track of time until I got a text from Matt saying hey, what is the address for dinner tonight? Fortunately, the Google Pixel has this feature called Magic Cue that just pulls up the info you need without you having to dig through old emails and stuff. It popped the address right into my text for me and tap it was sent. Daddy. Gang, we could all use a little help making Sundays less scary. So get outside of your comfort ph and try the Google Pixel 10 Pro. Check it out@google store.com these AI features are for users 18 check responses. Availability and results vary.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're home to show off who you are. And Ashley has styles that balance timeless appeal and modern trends to bring your personal look home. The eye catching designs of Ashley's pieces is one thing, but they're also made with features like stain resistant performance fabrics that are incredibly durable, easy to clean and stain resistant with machine washable cushion cupboard covers. So not only do their pieces look great in your home, they function well in your life too. I'll tell you, you gotta check out this Alyssa Court collection that they have. It is so beautiful, it is so timeless. It's an absolute perfect piece for your home. If you're looking to furnish your house. Ashley has you covered. So I gotta tell you, Ashley provides fast, reliable white glove delivery right to your room of choice. Voice well crafted, affordable, and built to stand up to real life. How furniture should be. So visit your local Ashley store or head to Ashley.com to find your style. We got this. This other. This other phrase here we've got at home. Karaoke breaks.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, yeah, that's me in a big time. Okay, so I had to. I share a speaker with one of my friends, Shout out CG Farmer. We used to run a show together and we had to buy a speaker together. Like a big speaker.

[Rachel Scanlan]

The name of your friend?

[Nora Scanlan]

Friend, yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I thought it was the name of the speaker that's always like, you know, like, when you have to connect to a speaker and it's got a weird name.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, it's always like, vert89.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's got a weird name, but yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay, so we have a speaker.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yes.

[Nora Scanlan]

And what I do in between, like, meetings or zooms or whatever, the. Anytime I need to pick me up, I'm singing karaoke. Because as we all have established, I'm an incredible singer.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean, we never really got a sample because I kind of tried to

[Nora Scanlan]

join in and I'd say it was powerful. I'd say what we did was good.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean, yeah, I mean, we were just trying to, you know, beat the wicked witch. But I. I do think there's gonna have to be right now a solo break of. What song would you sing if you had to do a solo break right now? Let's go.

[Nora Scanlan]

Hold on, let me think of what song is really fire right now. Like, I've been really into Fetty Wap again recently.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, baby.

[Nora Scanlan]

Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, God. Like, Fetty also hot, right?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, dude. I mean, I'd say so.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like, I like.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I like him with a little meat on his bones.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes. He.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He. He came. He came back and he came swinging. He was eating pretty good in there.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I like men with, like, some ass, like, when they turn around that it could be a woman.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, what's that? Dunk do what?

[Nora Scanlan]

Also, like, feedback. Fetty, show us your ass more. Let me.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Come on. I want to get. I want to see the.

[Nora Scanlan]

Are you doing one eye?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, I'm doing one eye. Come on, Fetty. I'm just trying to keep an even playing field, baby. Yeah, baby. 17. I got in trouble at a Fetty Wap concert.

[Nora Scanlan]

What happened?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I wasn't supposed to be there. I Guess I. We went home from the Fetty Wap concert because we weren't having fun, so we went to a upperclassman's, like, high school party.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And my dad's like, what are you doing? Send me a picture. And I sent him a picture. And I look like this.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

He goes, I'm coming to pick you up right now. Brutal. So brutal.

[Nora Scanlan]

Damn.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I took it like, 12 times, too. I remember. I'm like, that one's solid. I look sober as, like, no big deal. Nah. And then Fetty comes swinging. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm glad he's free. Yes. 1738.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Name four songs. Songs. Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Trap Queen. The one that. Okay, okay. I'm hearing your point. I'm hearing it in a big way.

[Rachel Scanlan]

4, 3, 2, 1.

[Nora Scanlan]

Did I say Trap Queen?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Not yet.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay, so there's two.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What you did. I'm not keeping squ.

[Nora Scanlan]

I think I won.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And that has been Fetty Wap question song game forever. Thank you so much for playing. We play that all the time.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's a great game.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Also, you're addicted to Spam Musubi.

[Nora Scanlan]

Spam Musubi? Come on.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Am I saying that correctly?

[Nora Scanlan]

Have you. Did you see this?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Not yet. That's a trap queen right there. This is a queen of some type.

[Nora Scanlan]

Can you believe?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Wow.

[Nora Scanlan]

This is what happens when you don't let gay people be gay people.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. That's so not fair.

[Nora Scanlan]

I know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Off white.

[Nora Scanlan]

All white.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Did you win or did you wear that?

[Nora Scanlan]

I won.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What are you winning?

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course. I was a homecoming queen.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's homecoming queen.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Well, congratulations. But what the.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I know you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Weird homecoming. You wear it down to your ankles like that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. I think they were like, I'm coming to the night.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Supposed to be, like, slutty a time.

[Nora Scanlan]

They told us that you have to go formal, like prom formal.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So what's the point of having prom?

[Nora Scanlan]

Prom was with the other high school as well, so you could see a new crop of other students, if you're into that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Is that when you wore your slutty little dress?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, I, I, I flipped it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's so weird.

[Nora Scanlan]

I know, but congrats, yo. I only did it because the girl I was closeted with did it, and I thought she would make her come out of the closet. Closet. It didn't.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Did it help you?

[Nora Scanlan]

No, no.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That, that'll. I mean, you get the crown, you push it all the way back in. Anything that was ready to come out, you're like, oh, they seem as a star. Want to Ruin my people.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right, right, right. No, it definitely didn't. I was like, this isn't. What do I do now?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. I, I, I won court one time.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course, of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Freshman year. It's cuz I, I lost a little weight and the cheerleading coach was like, oh, wow. Oh, wow. You look incredible. Like, yeah, you made a mistake. I should have been on the team.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It was my Diana revenge bond.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And they were like, holy cow. This fat kind of transformed.

[Nora Scanlan]

Wow.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Homecoming court, freshman year. I'm the man.

[Nora Scanlan]

So you wanted to be, you wanted to be a cheerleader?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, yeah. I, I unfortunately said this last pod, but I, I tried out every single year.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

No. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Wow.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Never made the team.

[Nora Scanlan]

Those huge.

[Rachel Scanlan]

The Coro.

[Nora Scanlan]

Look at you now, by the way. Top of the world.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Still pissed. Still closeted.

[Nora Scanlan]

What could kind of the exact same as where we started.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. But at least I got caught.

[Nora Scanlan]

They still want you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What do we got next?

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay, this is me almost. I'm, I'm in a very similar outfit to that right now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, but you've got like a, you got like a, A vibe like I love when people like curative vibe for themselves.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love, yeah, like a bright color. You know, I love a bright color.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm not doing that right now.

[Nora Scanlan]

But I was, I was wearing this, this sweater which I think you can see there's like fruits dangling off of it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, like little cherry pops.

[Nora Scanlan]

I did a spot like a couple nights ago and this older butch looked at me and was like, you can't call yourself butch and also wear fruits on your sweater.

[Rachel Scanlan]

She basically calling you a fruit?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, I was like, sounds like my dad. Me. No, I told my wife. I was like, you. I'm like, can you, can you believe this?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Are you, are you butch, though?

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm a soft butch. I'm a fruity butch, if I'm honest.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay. Is that like a real one?

[Nora Scanlan]

I mean, I've made all these up. I'm like a fruity. You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I dress like Aladdin, but I have the gay energy of Jafar. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, no, of course. Yeah. There's like a, there's a. My masculinity is questionable.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I get this.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm like, I am definitely not wearing dresses. I'm like the boy one into the straight eyes. Do you know what I mean?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, 100%.

[Nora Scanlan]

But I'm also a bottom and let me live.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. And this is what it is, is, you know what it is. That's what it is.

[Nora Scanlan]

My wife made this.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was like, I'm learning so much about all. There's so many names. Why can't you just, like, around.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, you can.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I know, but, like, I. I feel like in the community, like, everyone wants to, like, claim.

[Nora Scanlan]

I think you should claim if it makes you feel at home, but if it doesn't, then it. Forever.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, but I. I don't know.

[Nora Scanlan]

Off. You don't need it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think that's like the. Like, the conversation starter.

[Nora Scanlan]

You think so?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Especially if you're, like, a single guy.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, okay. Single is a little different.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, how do you identify? I'm going to tell you what you. You are if. If. If not.

[Nora Scanlan]

Well, also, we have a job where people tell you what they think about you all the time. You do your job.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Good God. That's why I want to put everything in God's hand one day.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right, right. And we must. And we must.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No. So what you didn't understand is I said I'm going to kill myself.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, okay. No, and never mind. And we know we mustn't. We must and we mustn't. Local clown dyke tells other clown dyke to kill herself. This can't be how I delete my subscription. Oh, wow. Okay. This is a similar shoe to what I'm wearing right now. This is Mackenzie, my co. Host of Two Dykes in a Mic. This is when we opened for G. Flip, who's like a. Oh, yeah, you know, G. Yeah, yeah. And where were they performing? Maybe the. Probably the. Anyways, it doesn't matter. Great show. And also great shoes. I've tied these shoes to my backpack right now because I'm going to a place where it's going to be rainy and I hope I don't smack a man in the face with my. My Giant Crocs. We'll find out. I'll keep you posted. How many of these are you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

How do you. How do you start a show? So I know you guys are like, podcast hosts. How do you start a concert show? Did you do, like, the whole couch? Sit down? Like, did you have this kind of a set? Like, how does that keep people fired up?

[Nora Scanlan]

Well, I don't know if it does, but music shows are kind of different where, like, there's breaks in between every act. Like, you do a set and then they repo the stage. And, like, everyone who goes to, like, a. A rock show or wait, like, they're like, they wait a long time and, like, the headliners go on until, like, 10 p. Like, because I also was like, how am I going to. This is weird.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. It's tough to hype people up while you're sitting down.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right? And we interviewed Chris Shell from the show like, and G's partner. Do you know Chris Shell? Yeah, Chris Shell. The selling houses selling sunset of their course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And so small bulbs and no clue.

[Nora Scanlan]

No clue.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No clue.

[Nora Scanlan]

Two small bolts. Two small bolts.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sorry about this.

[Nora Scanlan]

In a big way.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I have no.

[Nora Scanlan]

Anyways, I know what you're talking about for those people. No, you do. What does that Shell south, she's like reality show royalty.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Chilling sunset.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, that's what you're saying.

[Nora Scanlan]

And she was the guest that we interviewed before the show.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Gotcha.

[Nora Scanlan]

I the same thing. I was like, how are we gonna go from like interview style?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. To let's rock and roll.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like let's rock and roll. But there was like plenty of time. And also the crowd was so hyped that like we.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You it ease them in.

[Nora Scanlan]

No. G has like the coolest.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's all crowd.

[Nora Scanlan]

So like they were. They were jacked up.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That six. Does that mean that you guys are all friends?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's awesome.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh yeah, very cool. Which means we all are now. By proxy, of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Cuz we're friends now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Hell yes.

[Nora Scanlan]

Can't wait to come see you in New York.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh my God. We're gonna have a lot.

[Nora Scanlan]

Dude, are you close to Brooklyn? Have you been?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I will go.

[Nora Scanlan]

Okay. Hey, that's all I need. That is all I need.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I don't live there. That's all I'm saying. Shut the up.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm screaming.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Make me look bad.

[Nora Scanlan]

You two need a show together.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, me and the sister.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, me and this. Have you talked about it before?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, we'll about talk. Talk about it.

[Nora Scanlan]

This is what I was telling you about.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Alexander Hamilton.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Was this on camera or was this before we started rolling? Rolling.

[Nora Scanlan]

Were we rolling? I think when we talked about Alexander,

[Rachel Scanlan]

who did you meet?

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, that's when I went. Met Heather McMahon.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

And I was like, she was a little confused. It's hard to meet people on Halloween because you're like, I'm in drag.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

But I think that my looks really transcended. Yeah.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Well, you know, you. You would think.

[Nora Scanlan]

But this did give me a complex

[Rachel Scanlan]

bit of a loopski.

[Nora Scanlan]

It pisses me off that I'm hotter as Alexander Hamilton than I am as Rachel Scanlon.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I love the fucking hilarious little face you do in there.

[Nora Scanlan]

What am I doing?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like a tucked in lip fuck like

[Nora Scanlan]

you Know what pisses me off about this being printed off is that I just assumed that this was only sent to my wife's Snapchat. I can't believe that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Somewhere. Definitely online. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Something I got to look into.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We got classics from the wife. No, no, no. We did not get any classics.

[Nora Scanlan]

I need a haircut so badly.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I used to say that. And. And my friend at the time, she would always say, that's gross. I. I would be like, oh, I need. I need to get my hair cut.

[Nora Scanlan]

What's gross?

[Rachel Scanlan]

And she'd be like, women get their haircut all the time. Don't say it. I'm like, what? I don't get my hair cut all the time. I'm like, I would be like, I need to get a. I need my hair cut. And they're like, well, what? Who said? Who talks like that?

[Nora Scanlan]

That's insane.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Nobody.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We're no longer.

[Nora Scanlan]

And that's also nothing. The amount of filth that can come out of a woman's mouth.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, my God.

[Nora Scanlan]

Please.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, my God. I'm. I'm with. I get a yearly haircut I love.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You got, like, a sculpture you got to take care of.

[Nora Scanlan]

I got to cut it all the time. Yeah, I have to cut it all. This is the longest it's been in a while.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Do you do your own little snip when it gets in the eyes?

[Nora Scanlan]

I haven't. It is in the eyes. I can't even see anything.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Then you got to keep curling it.

[Nora Scanlan]

I just keep pushing it up. I'm like. But I'm like, that's why I look like Theo Von Now. It's cuz my hair is too long.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, no, no. He doesn't have to curl. Straight as hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

Straight as hell. No, that's right. Okay.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

How. How on earth are there so many of these?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, well, you know, just pick your favorite.

[Nora Scanlan]

The same color.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, my God. I thought that was goddamn Lucille Ball to say all Jesus look alike. I'm the problem.

[Nora Scanlan]

No. I was in a short film, and they were like, you wear anything right? And I said, yeah. And then I was like, oh, I should have said no. Oh, you know me doing standup as a youth. Come on. They're like, can you do clean material? I'm like, this is what I yourself. I like to eat. Like. Like, oh, this is nuts. You guys really went crazy on that. Okay. Ass tattoo.

[Rachel Scanlan]

See, I thought it was lower, but I couldn't tell. You look stoked as hell.

[Nora Scanlan]

I was like, let's rock A goddamn dream. Once again, me with facial hair. Hotter than me without facial hair.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I thought that was dead cheering.

[Nora Scanlan]

Dude, no. You are the problem. Not another man I look like.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm sorry about that.

[Nora Scanlan]

God damn it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's my bad.

[Nora Scanlan]

I do with all these stupid tattoos.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, no, not stupid. Sick.

[Nora Scanlan]

Thanks, man.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We got a whole tour on this pod, and then you know what you do? You go on only fans. You say you want to see the ass smart. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

They go, if you don't mind, young

[Rachel Scanlan]

lady, like, how many of you are curious? Probably 30, maybe 40,000.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right?

[Rachel Scanlan]

We get so many listeners. Oh.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, this is huge.

[Rachel Scanlan]

This one's gonna take us to the moon.

[Nora Scanlan]

This is huge. What's the biggest podcast? This one for sure.

[Rachel Scanlan]

6020. 100 thou. What? Because you. Then Rogan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They'd be saying that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Everyone's saying that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They'd be saying that. Yeah, we do. We're doing Rogan numbers. Rogan hours. Like, we're at, what, three hours right now.

[Nora Scanlan]

We light a cigar.

[Rachel Scanlan]

This is one up in Logan.

[Nora Scanlan]

Welcome back to Ginger Rogan.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Ginger Joe's Jojo. Gingers.

[Nora Scanlan]

Hell, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Let me put on my thinking cap. It's Tim Floyd Foil. I'm sorry, that's not a good way to end. That's not a good way to end at all. This. What's your biggest fear? We'll end on that.

[Nora Scanlan]

The pause.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What is my biggest. What's your biggest.

[Nora Scanlan]

Being on a pod. Not knowing how to end a podcast is my biggest fear. Vamping for too long. Not knowing how to stop is an issue. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What's your biggest fear of getting CS front of you?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, for sure.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That one really scares me.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're so possible.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm. I'm. I'm almost 35, so I'm in the. I feel like I'm safe.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Right. Yeah. No, they say that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Or I guess I have, like, my last few months, but that is a hor. Yeah. I'm getting more claustrophobic as I age.

[Rachel Scanlan]

My sister as well. I got claustrophobic in here that I had to get up while we were recording and get out because I was like, the door's closed.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've never had that happen ever in my life.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, it's. Something is weird. I don't know if it's about, like, becoming older, becoming aware more, or, like. I don't know. What are you. You're not sober, though, are you? Because mine's coming. I think with sobriety. I think sobriety is Making me be like, what if I get locked in here? Yeah. And also like, it's. Yeah.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Weird.

[Nora Scanlan]

Like bath in public bathrooms. I'm like, I'm going to die in here tonight.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

Fuck. Like Biffy's. I can't even. Or a Porta John or whatever. I can't even do it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What the hell's a Porta John? What's a Biffy?

[Nora Scanlan]

Biffy, we call them Biffy Porta John, all that. Like a restroom at Coachella Porta Potty there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wow. Both of those things sound like meat things. Like. Yeah. Yo, dude, we're gonna do a real nice Christmas. All right. We're go get the Beefy. I'm gonna go get the Porta John. We gotta get the portage. I'm gonna do the best Porta John. The best cut they have great Porta John.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's a great slice of that Biff.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. But it's actually a party party,

[Nora Scanlan]

so you take a.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Sorry to take up all your time.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm having the best time. Thank you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm sorry it's coming the to. To an end.

[Nora Scanlan]

I wish it wasn't.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I mean, no dead ass. Me too.

[Nora Scanlan]

I feel like I didn't even say anything.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Are you leaving?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, I have to go to the. I have to go to the airport.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like, right now. Today?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Ass.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's airport. My pat. My shit's already packed up.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Well, that's good.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm gonna be hungry. Every time I go to the airport, I'm so hungry.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're so hungry. And the food tastes like.

[Nora Scanlan]

It's expensive and it's bad. Every time I'm in the sky, I'm starving.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've done the math.

[Nora Scanlan]

8 PB and JS. You know what I mean?

[Rachel Scanlan]

You can bring your own, of course. No, I did not know that.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, you can. I travel all the time.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I travel all the time. But I didn't know you could bring food.

[Nora Scanlan]

You're a jet setter.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I had no idea you can bring food.

[Nora Scanlan]

I bring my own turkey. Turkey, cheese. I bring about a dozen hard boiled eggs.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Gross up.

[Nora Scanlan]

I don't eat them in the sky.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're out of your.

[Nora Scanlan]

I eat them when I'm in my nice little Linta in.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's worse.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, that's. It is actually.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Really. That's. Isn't that. That's what happened to oj? No, the dad from Full House. He ate too many hard boiled eggs. I feel like he done fall.

[Nora Scanlan]

We're at the point where you're trying to get me to leave, but I've. No, I just dialed in.

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, I swear to God. I'm trying to do this for the rest of time. Are you like, I swear to God.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, it's fun, right?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, we're having a blast, right?

[Nora Scanlan]

Duh.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, you know what sucks is every time I think I. I'm just gonna say it. Are we friends? Yes, of course.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course. I can tell too. Like, almost immediately when I feel like I'm getting better at reading people and being like, you are my person or you're my not. Yeah, immediately I saw you and I went, now this is somebody that I do with. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Hell yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

But it's like, I like, I love, like.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And also ditto.

[Nora Scanlan]

Thank you. I love women. Do you know what I mean? First of all.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But I like women.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, yeah. Fuck yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, Women.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, I like them A women. I like women who are like, like, like you. You know what I mean?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Stop.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I like. No, I like.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, I love the shit.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You know what I just realized, though, like, on like a real serious note is my whole life, I thought if I don't fuck with someone, like, immediately.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I thought I had to hate them. Oh. Like, it's a terrible way to be, but I was like, oh, we're just not exactly alike, so feel like we don't. Like, I, I don't. I, I don't. With them.

[Nora Scanlan]

And I thought that I had to be in love with every single person that I met.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

And you don't have to.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah. Midwest, the Northeast. There it is. That's the divide.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's the divide.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's the divide.

[Nora Scanlan]

So you thought if you weren't in love with somebody, you were like, I hate them.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Well, I like, well, if I don't, if I don't like, like, like hit it off, like, right, like right away.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm like, oh, like, I, I hate, I hate them. Which is like, crazy. Crazy because what I realized as an adult is you don't hate them. You just. You're not exactly the same. You can still be pals.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You don't. You don't have to hate the person. Of course. It's just. I don't know. My. I come from a friend, like a family, and both family and friends were kind of like, no new friends, no new family.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's like, we're like, we, we. We're like a mob.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. You're like, it's us blood and blood out. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Like if we got. We got a full on with you or we don't trust the. We don't trust you.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Nobody in.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And that's like crazy. Y. Yeah, that's like a crazy way to b.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, that's too much.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, it's too much.

[Nora Scanlan]

But look at us. Basically family now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, no, I'd say so. I mean, like long lost twins.

[Nora Scanlan]

Also, there's another ginger walking around here. Did you see him? He, like, brought me in here.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, my God. This Marshall, he's the. He's the producer. He's awesome.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I literally saw him and I was like, okay, so are we all gingers here?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, and we're not usually the. The majority, but here we are.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, it felt for a second that

[Rachel Scanlan]

I was like, okay, yeah, as minorities.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. It feels nice to be together. It really does. As a marginalized group.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We got to conjugate together.

[Nora Scanlan]

We got to be together. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We got. We got to stand up tall for each other.

[Nora Scanlan]

Sunscreen, budget high.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Who do you think is the most famous ginger of all time?

[Nora Scanlan]

Lindsay Lohan, don't you think?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'd say so.

[Nora Scanlan]

Maybe Julianne Moore. Maybe Wendy from Wendy's dressed up as

[Rachel Scanlan]

hers for a school spirit week.

[Nora Scanlan]

We all did.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You did do.

[Nora Scanlan]

Of course.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That is awesome.

[Nora Scanlan]

Little orphanay. Big high up there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, that's a big one. Yeah.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, that's a big one.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

Prince Harry.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Prince Harry.

[Nora Scanlan]

Prince Harry. At all us hold space for us. Did your whole life, your family tell you not to wear red? Because they're like, yes.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And I just found out, you don't have to do that.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm so. I was like, I actually can wear red.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Pink, pink and red. They said no shot turns out best colors. We have like.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh. To wash you out. You look insane with your coloring in your hair. Oh, no, actually, I look cool.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You're just jealous of me, Aunt Susan.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My whole family, all the women are like gingers.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Really?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. My aunt, my other aunt, my mom. Mom. Very fair skin. Just varying levels of red. No way. Yeah, I know, because I thought it would be like, recessive. It's so strange.

[Rachel Scanlan]

So, yeah, no, I've got the recessive. I don't. I don't know where I came from. I'm the milkman's. Yeah, that's what they say. My mom had a gay friend, Stephen. Shout out. Stephen, shout out.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm picturing a lesbian. But you mean man.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Stephen is a boy. Gay boy.

[Nora Scanlan]

Got it. Okay, cool.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Did you talk to gay boy man or you just really keep it tight knit?

[Nora Scanlan]

I've done a gay guy cruise. I Did it for stand up. Have you ever done that? What is it, a gay guy cruise?

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've done that sounds like a blast. Also sounds like a lot of drugs. How do you do that? It's a sober person.

[Nora Scanlan]

I. To sleep, I was like, how sleep? Yeah, yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Cuz I'm like, how do you stay awake?

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, yeah. I couldn't. They were up. I felt like a nun. I was like, go to bed. I mean, they were up.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Yeah, they're up.

[Nora Scanlan]

They're.

[Rachel Scanlan]

They're up. Their jaws are going. They're like a lot of pounding in those rooms too.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh boy. Is there.

[Rachel Scanlan]

When it comes to fist pumping and also bed noises.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. It was an incredible. But I do, I like, I'm.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I love this though. They like, let's have fun. What? No, I did too. But if you're trying to say a gay man can't do a fist bump like the Jersey shore, then you're wrong. Yeah, I've never been to Fire Island.

[Nora Scanlan]

Then you're stone cold wrong.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Welcome to the world, my sweet sister.

[Nora Scanlan]

Look at us. Look at us mirroring each other. How are we sitting the same right now? This is great.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I've never even sat like this thus far.

[Nora Scanlan]

Just a couple of girls.

[Rachel Scanlan]

It's just vibing, chilling, having a blast.

[Nora Scanlan]

Let us have a good time.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I don't even know how to end this place. But I do have tickets to go see all the too many stars tonight.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, good. Okay. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Which I told my sister I would take her too. And this is like, this is.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, it's late. Okay. No, I understand. I don't want to. I don't want to go because I

[Rachel Scanlan]

don't want to lie to you.

[Nora Scanlan]

No way. I understand. I just feel like, you know, because we. We hit it off so strongly and then I. And then I slithered in here and then I felt so flattered that you had all these hot pictures of me. I know. You have to like, go be something awful happen to. No, I have to go. You're saying no?

[Rachel Scanlan]

No, I'm just saying let's look, I'm trying to find a way to wrap it.

[Nora Scanlan]

Oh, we're wrapping it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

A bow like a bush.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Rachel Scanlan]

We gotta put call back.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, we gotta get out of here.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Oh, dude, I'm having like a goddamn.

[Nora Scanlan]

We're going back to New York.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm here for 10 days.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm leaving for like.

[Rachel Scanlan]

But you're coming back.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'm leaving in. I'm gonna be gone for 16 days.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's disturbed.

[Nora Scanlan]

I know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wait, when Are you in New York?

[Nora Scanlan]

I'll be in New York in October.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What the. That's what the.

[Nora Scanlan]

I know.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's like what?

[Nora Scanlan]

I know. It's so far from now.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay, what about.

[Nora Scanlan]

I'll hit your line.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Okay.

[Nora Scanlan]

Yeah, no, I'm.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I'm going to send you lettuce.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love that. Yeah, send me some hard boiled eggs in the mail.

[Rachel Scanlan]

That's so gross. I will. I totally will.

[Nora Scanlan]

That's disgusting. And I. I'll do that.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I can't wait to send that in the mail. You can send whatever you want. Yeah, you can send a potato with a stamp.

[Nora Scanlan]

I love that potato with this.

[Rachel Scanlan]

As long as it has a stamp on it, you can send it.

[Nora Scanlan]

Pretty cool.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Hard boiled egg with a snap on.

[Nora Scanlan]

Coming my way.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Hard shell. It'll crack along the way. U.S. postal system's a little. Ah. I hate to wrap it, but we.

[Nora Scanlan]

Right. It's okay. Thank you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

This is rude. I'm being rude.

[Nora Scanlan]

No, I'll. I'll go. I gotta go.

[Rachel Scanlan]

You have a pod, right?

[Nora Scanlan]

I do.

[Rachel Scanlan]

What's it called again?

[Nora Scanlan]

Two dikes and a mic.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And how do you guys end yours?

[Nora Scanlan]

I go like. I'll, I'll go like. Make sure to buy your tickets to my show rachelscanla.com and then my co host is like. And then, and then I go. And I'm Rachel Scanlan. Ali, go do something gay today. Bye.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Bye.

[Nora Scanlan]

And then it's over.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Do you want to plug your to? No. Yeah, sorry. Do you want to. Do you want to plug your tour?

[Nora Scanlan]

I feel like it works.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think, I think exactly what it was.

[Nora Scanlan]

Just click on the stuff.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Wait, what about socials?

[Nora Scanlan]

Rachel Scanlan, comedy. That's it. And then there's. They'll just find it.

[Rachel Scanlan]

And that's how you end your pod.

[Nora Scanlan]

How do you end yours?

[Rachel Scanlan]

Bye, guys. I wanted it. Just dead silence. It just cuts the black like the Sopranos.

[Nora Scanlan]

Why have I asked my h vac

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

guy I found on Angie.com to change my grandpa's trachea?

[Nora Scanlan]

Because I was so amazed by how quickly he replaced our air ducts. I knew I could trust him to

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

change Pop Pop's tube while I was on vacation.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Make it quick, young man. Aw.

[Nora Scanlan]

See, Pop Pop trusts you.

[Rachel Scanlan]

I think we should call a doctor.

[Nora Scanlan]

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[Rachel Scanlan]

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[Nora Scanlan]

And that's why Coop sleepgoods made their

[Rachel Scanlan]

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[Nora Scanlan]

to help keep things cool while you sleep. Plus they have sheets and toppers so

[Rachel Scanlan]

your whole setup can chill out. If your bed's been running a little warm, this is your moment. Go to coopsleepgoods.com comedy that's C-O-O-Psleepgoods.com comedy and get 20%.

[Narrator/Ad Voice]

In the US there's a break in every 26 seconds. But when intruders step near Simplisafe, home security steps up.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Stop. This is Simplisafe. Police are on the way.

[Nora Scanlan]

Using AI alerts, US based live agents help deter break ins.

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[Rachel Scanlan]

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[Nora Scanlan]

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[Rachel Scanlan]

at $49.99 a month.

[Nora Scanlan]

Visit simplisafe.com licenses for alarm license information.

[Rachel Scanlan]

Tennessee 2012.