Jay Jurden's a Self-Proclaimed "Bisexual Demon"

Summary

Podcast Summary: Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley
Episode: Jay Jurden's a Self-Proclaimed "Bisexual Demon"
Release Date: May 22, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley, Grace welcomes comedian, writer, and actor Jay Jurden, who also boasts a debut comedy album that soared to number one on iTunes titled "Y' All." Jay brings his unique perspective as a self-proclaimed "bisexual demon" to the conversation, offering listeners an engaging blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions about the comedy landscape.

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Guest Background and Journey into Comedy

Grace and Jay delve into Jay's comedic journey, tracing his roots from Mississippi to his current life in New York City. Jay shares his initial exposure to comedy through theater and his transition into stand-up.

Notable Quote:
Jay Jurdin [05:05]: “Moving to New York City in 2015 was a pivotal moment for me. I had done comedic sketches and parody songs in undergrad, but I hadn’t performed full stand-up yet.”

Jay recounts his first stand-up experiences, including both successes and early challenges, emphasizing resilience after a "mic bomb" early in his career.

Notable Quote:
Jay Jurdin [40:37]: “If you bomb at a mic that early, some people quit, but I went to another mic and kept trying. That’s how I built my confidence.”

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Comedy Influences and Favorites

The conversation shifts to Jay's favorite comedy movies and influences, highlighting classics like The Nutty Professor, Life with Martin Lawrence, and Superbad. He discusses how these films shaped his comedic style and appreciation for body positivity and relatability in humor.

Notable Quote:
Jay Jurdin [45:14]: “The Nutty Professor was a masterclass in acting and body positivity before we knew it. Sherman’s journey to self-love was something I always found inspiring and funny.”

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Stand-Up Experiences and Insights

Jay shares his experiences performing in various venues and his approach to connecting with different audiences. He discusses the dynamics of performing in places like Hell’s Kitchen and the challenges of engaging diverse crowds, from lively and relaxed to hyper-religious settings.

Notable Quote:
Jay Jurdin [43:23]: “Drunk girls in the audience can be some of the best crowds because they’ve let their social awareness go and just laugh freely.”

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Interactive Segments: "Say Less" and "Write in Room"

Say Less:
Grace and Jay engage in a playful segment where they choose topics from a "Wooden Bowl" and decide whether to rant about them or "say less" with humorous one-worded responses.

Write in Room:
They interact with live studio audience submissions, reacting to listeners' "disgraceful moments" with witty and comedic commentary.

Notable Quote:
Grace O’Malley [76:07]: “If you could give yourself a useless but hilarious superpower, what would it be?”
Jay Jurdin [76:17]: “I’d have the power to create any ice cream flavor... and occasionally poop ice cream when scared. Fun and messy!”

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Social Media and Screen Time

The duo discusses the impact of social media on their lives and careers, touching on themes like casual posting, screen time, and maintaining authenticity in the digital age.

Notable Quote:
Jay Jurdin [24:18]: “Screen time is now just time. Everything except something cool and interactive is still screen time.”

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Personal Anecdotes and Humor

Jay shares humorous stories from his personal life, including navigating his 21st birthday mishap and his experiences with fake IDs. Grace adds her own comedic flair, enhancing the lighthearted and relatable atmosphere of the episode.

Notable Quote:
Jay Jurdin [51:06]: “I threw up on my birthday shirt during graduation. Walking shirtless back to my apartment across a parking lot filled with families was a memorable scene.”

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Upcoming Projects and Promotions

Towards the end of the episode, Jay promotes his upcoming tour dates and special projects, encouraging listeners to attend his shows in various cities and stay connected through social media.

Notable Quote:
Jay Jurdin [84:43]: “Follow me on all social media! I'll be touring World Pride in D.C., Punchline in San Francisco, and Pride Fest in Milwaukee. Check my website for tickets and special announcements.”

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Grace and Jay wrap up the episode with light-hearted banter and final thoughts, reinforcing the camaraderie between host and guest. Jay’s enthusiasm for stand-up comedy and his supportive remarks about fellow comedians leave listeners with a sense of community and inspiration.

Notable Quote:
Grace O’Malley [85:31]: “Maybe you heard it here first, folks. Jay, thank you so much. This was awesome.”
Jay Jurdin [85:36]: “Thank you, Grace. So much fun.”

---

Key Takeaways

• Resilience in Comedy: Jay's journey underscores the importance of perseverance in the face of early setbacks.
• Diverse Influences: His comedic style is shaped by a blend of classic films and personal experiences.
• Authenticity: Emphasizing genuine connections with audiences and maintaining authenticity on social media.
• Community and Support: Highlighting the value of supporting fellow comedians and celebrating collective successes.

This episode offers a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions, making it a must-listen for fans of stand-up comedy and those interested in the behind-the-scenes journey of a rising comedian.

Transcript

[Grace O'Malley]

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[Jay Jurdin]

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[Unknown]

See it for details.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hi guys. Welcome back to Disgraceful, the podcast, the late night show. We're really still not sure and I don't think we ever will be. I've just gotten back from a month long journey of Florida to California, back to Florida again. And that that when you think about that, that doesn't really make any sense. You know, when you, when you think of the trajectory of where I just went. But neither did some of those shows. I just did shows in Naples, Florida and I want to give a shout out to Sam Morrell. He knows what he's talking about when it comes to Naples. The people working there were very nice. But I gotta say I Yai yai yai yai yai yai yai yai. Thank you so much to the young gals that came through. But those shows went exactly how I thought they would. Brutal. It was on Sunday. I counted, I got a headcount. I made everyone else count, actually. I said all right, we're going to do a head count. And I went one and the next person said two and we got all the way around. It wasn't that far to 43. There was 43 people in attendance at the last show on a Sunday and so to get everyone going, I bought them all a shot. Yeah, I thought that was going to help, but no, that just loosened up one guy too much to where he said, you better watch yourself when I told a joke. And I said, well, you can leave. I don't really give a shit, pal. You can watch a show without fucking being pissed off about politics the whole time. That's what I think. And I don't even really talk about politics. So thanks for coming if you did. I really appreciate it. Not every show is gonna be the best show of your life, but a gig's a gig. When my team offered this show up to me, they said, most comedians don't come back. And so I took that as a challenge. And I was on a fucking hot streak, man. All these shows have been, like, selling out. You guys have been having a blast. So to have this last one, these last couple, five of them. We did five of them. Five shows in Naples, Florida. And, yeah, to have those go the way that they did, you know, I needed that. Drake said it. Somebody told me I fell off. Oh, I needed that. Yes, I needed that. So, yeah, coming back from that, trying to regroup, feeling good, feeling great. The Celtics lost to the Knicks. That was the first game I ever watched. Bet money on it. Lost. What else? I'm trying to. I'm trying to think of, like, some positive things I can add to this. Oh, my sister Nora. That's not a positive thing. But she's not here. She went home. You know, she's. She's. She's checking in with the fam. So I've got the place to myself this. This week, if not too shabby. All right. I was gonna remind you I got shows because I don't want them to end up like Naples. So if you guys want to come to a show, I am going to be in Charleston, South Carolina, June 5th to the 8th. And then I'm going to be in Long beach at Borelli's Tap Room, June 16. Then I'm heading on over to Honolulu. Honolulu. Going to be at Blue Note in Honolulu, Hawaii, July 2nd. And I'm also doing a show August 7th at Canoe Place in the Hamptons. So come on through. Come on by. I got three more left. I hope you guys have a great week. I hope you enjoy this episode with J. Jordan. I had fun. It was a giggle festival. And, yeah, sorry to Blue ball. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Coming at you live from a shady Manhattan studio. It's disgraceful. Featuring your gracious ginger host.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, watch yourself. Only I can say that.

[Unknown]

Okay, boss, whatever you say. You pay my bills. Give it up for Grace o' Malley.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hi, guys. Welcome back to another episode of disgraceful. This week I'm joined with comedian, writer, actor, and you have a debut comedy album which went number one on iTunes called y' all.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, that happened.

[Grace O'Malley]

And his recent work includes being a staff writer on Emmy nominated the problem with Jon Stewart. It's Jay Jerdin, everybody.

[Jay Jurdin]

Hello. What's up? Thank you for having me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Grace, thank you so much for coming in. I appreciate it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Of course. Beautiful spring day in New York City.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nothing better than being in a dark dungey studio.

[Jay Jurdin]

It was chaos outside. People are like outside in a way that they needed it. Like I saw today. I've seen people kind of like figuring out. They're like, how do I deal with other people now?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah. Are we still saying we outside?

[Jay Jurdin]

So the fact that you just asked. No, no, it's over. You kind of Grace, you ruined it. Yeah, I figured.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, I ended it to be a ginger saying we outside. I feel like I'm squash on it.

[Jay Jurdin]

You shouldn't be. And if you are, sbf.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, so I just got a mega burn.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just healed. Not quickly, but it was brutal what happened. I was in Miami.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. That's not grace. So it's your fault.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

I don't blame. I don't victim blame.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, you can for this aspect. I did it to myself.

[Jay Jurdin]

I'm not saying women belong in the house. I am saying fair two light skinned women do belong in the shade.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, absolutely. 100%. And if it's a kitchen, double whammy.

[Jay Jurdin]

I didn't say that. I didn't say that at all. Women can be anywhere, including the kitchen. If they want to be.

[Grace O'Malley]

If they want to be, you know.

[Jay Jurdin]

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[Unknown]

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[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, right this way.

[Unknown]

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[Jay Jurdin]

Are you. Are you watching all the trad wife on Tick Tock?

[Grace O'Malley]

I try to stay away from it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

At first, whenever people are like, oh, this is so wholesome. I was like, this is a psyop. They are trying to trick you.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, it is like making your own bread.

[Jay Jurdin]

You got to make your own bread. You got to get bread. Have all those babies. Make snacks for those babies.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, they're starving.

[Jay Jurdin]

Film it.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're starving, these children.

[Jay Jurdin]

Cuz they're.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're waiting so long for this bread, this sourdough mix. That's true.

[Jay Jurdin]

No kid has ever been like, ooh, I can't wait for the second proof of like, it's stupid.

[Grace O'Malley]

And like. And once you know Mama's whispering in the kitchen, you've got two hours to do.

[Jay Jurdin]

I don't want fruit snacks from scratch.

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Jay Jurdin]

Wanted a fruit snack from scratch. I want the dye. You hear that, RFK Jr. We want the fruit snacks to be the same color as you. That's what I want.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's good.

[Jay Jurdin]

I want this color.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Sunburn color. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

The same color as Grace Post Miami.

[Grace O'Malley]

But just think, just think mix. Just think Irish. Just think alcoholics. That's how we want our fruit snacks.

[Jay Jurdin]

Grace said the slur. I did not.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's the one. I can't say.

[Jay Jurdin]

For the record, I am black Irish. And by black Irish, I mean I wish a wood. No. That I can't. That one. No, I'm. I'm a little bit Irish. That's what we get wrong. Yeah. I'm like 1 32nd or.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I'm 1 32nd and I'm 1 32nd of just being in bredded over and over and over again.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, you're a 1 32% Irish.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm one of 32 cousins who all got married.

[Jay Jurdin]

Wait, where are you from originally?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm from Boston. So I'm cliche.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Okay. I didn't want to. I sometimes I assume because of certain accents and vowel choices, but I don't want to know.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's totally fair. I'm like. I'm like a cartoon. I'm the female family guy, you know?

[Jay Jurdin]

No. If, you know, if you were fully a cartoon of like a chick from Boston, you would be in jail. Right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. No, that's true. Yeah. That is in New York Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You would just be a Southie with some kids.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And nothing wrong with that. I gotta. I gotta rep where I'm from.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know, those are my. Those are my people.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Your culture's not a costume.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Even if they are racist. Know it's a tough hill to stand on.

[Jay Jurdin]

For sure. I'm sorry your. Your homeboy passed away. The Pope.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

I know y' all love him.

[Grace O'Malley]

We were up there. I. I mean, I'm running for Pope office. Yeah, you can.

[Jay Jurdin]

You can't.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, as a lady.

[Jay Jurdin]

As a lady.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is that the rule?

[Jay Jurdin]

Is the unofficial rule.

[Grace O'Malley]

I saw some. I saw some dummies talking about it. I forget who it was, but they're like, yeah, I could just run for pope.

[Jay Jurdin]

If you've been a baptized person, practicing non lapsed Catholic, I think you are. Technically, you're in the running.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

But I think it's going to be one of those old guys.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, for sure. They made the whole movie about it. It looked like a snooze fest to me.

[Jay Jurdin]

People love conclave. All of my gay friends on Twitter love conclave, but hate church.

[Grace O'Malley]

What is fetish?

[Jay Jurdin]

I think they like the pageantry. They like gossipy queens in dresses with a bunch of gold, which they're not.

[Grace O'Malley]

Realizing is exactly what they're doing. You know, it's the be in. The commentary is basically drag.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, it's drag. And like the Cardinals and like there's a bunch of like, ranking and a bunch of like, kind of backstabbing. It's very Real Housewives Vatican City.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's where we need the cameras. We need cameras on deck there.

[Jay Jurdin]

That. Well, with the lawsuits, I don't know.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what they said.

[Jay Jurdin]

I said that to a person from Boston. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, I can vouch. They send those guys away. They. They rip them away from the boys and they bring them a way to. They get to go on a little vacation in Italy. How nice is that?

[Jay Jurdin]

What if that's such a unique punishment. Hey, stop touching kids. If you don't stop touching these kids.

[Grace O'Malley]

You'Re gonna start eating really good food.

[Jay Jurdin]

You're gonna. Yeah, you're gonna have the best margarita pizza ever. If you don't stop touching those kids.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're one diddle away from a goddamn vodka penny.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's funny.

[Grace O'Malley]

So welcome in.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, welcome.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love this as a first question here I have in your. Your TikTok bio says bisexual demon.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

What would you say? Would you say that that's the most accurate job title?

[Jay Jurdin]

That is the most Accurate job title. I try to be a multi hyphenate actor, comedian, writer, bisexual demon. Now that fourth one, it is the most work.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure.

[Jay Jurdin]

So bisexual demon. It's usually just like. Like making straight guys really sad that their dad's gonna find out every now and then. Kissing a couple after a show.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's always good.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. That this is what happens. I get the straight couples that come up to me after my comedy shows and the girls will be like, oh my gosh, you're so funny. And the guys will be like, man, that gay stuff's crazy. What do you mean by that? That's like a joke, right? Cause like, there's no way it's that easy to get your dick sucked. I'm like, it's very easy. He's like, how? And at that point, he's sucking it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, no, of course. And she's all pissed. She thought she was gonna win.

[Jay Jurdin]

Happy. She's holding.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, okay.

[Jay Jurdin]

Get it, baby. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're not. You're not. You're not the bad guy at all. You were. This is your little hall pass.

[Jay Jurdin]

I think that is the best kind of couple is the dumb straight man, the smart straight girl. Like I was being redundant. So the straight man and the straight girl. And the straight girl wants her straight boyfriend to do a little gay stuff every now and then.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, every once in a while. Spring.

[Jay Jurdin]

L can have it to like, kind of lord over him, but also. Cause it's like kinky. It's a fun little taboo. We don't have taboos anymore. We've lost a lot of them.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, everyone's sucking dick now. Everyone's eating ass. Everyone's like, wants to start. Our only fans.

[Grace O'Malley]

The field is open, you know.

[Jay Jurdin]

Field, Field.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You do a field joke in. In the place where they have fields. They don't know what you're talking about.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's funny. I like that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you. So on this show, I do a little bit of a. I'm looking for a new co host. So I kind of interview everybody to see if you'd be a good fit. I know you got a lot going on, but it's a great combo, by the way.

[Jay Jurdin]

This is a historic combo for New York City. Irish people, black people, loud people, gay people. Like, this is what this city was founded on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You know?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, Yeah, I like this.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I might be a transplant. Yeah. That's an absolute. But I've been here five years, so I consider myself a good old fashioned new Yorker.

[Jay Jurdin]

You say it in the most Boston way.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Fuck em. So as the first question, I want to really get to know you. So you're from Mississippi. M I, S S I S S I P P I. Oh, and now you live in New York.

[Jay Jurdin]

You just said that. And that's technically refugee status.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yes, of course. And what. What part of you is still Mississippian?

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh.

[Grace O'Malley]

And what part is fully corrupted by New York?

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay, so the parts of me that are still. Still very Mississippian. I.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is that what you call you guys?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, Mississippian.

[Grace O'Malley]

Mrs. Mississippi. Mississippi. Mississippians.

[Jay Jurdin]

Mississ. Yeah. Mississippians, Mississippians. So I. I'm still very respectful to, like, older women. So every now and then, if there's an older woman on a train that needs a seat, I will stand up. And usually they take it. But there is a part of New Yorkers where if I stand up for a woman in her 50s, what she just heard was, sit down, you old bitch. And that's not. That's not what I meant. But that's what she fel.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Because if I try to offer her, she's. I can stand up. I've been walking all day.

[Grace O'Malley]

They gotta have that back thing going on.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Once they go by an angle, that's when you could get up for them.

[Jay Jurdin]

So that. That's the Mississippi part of me. The thing that's been fully corrupted in New York. The New York thing that I do now that Southerners, like, really think is crazy. I love to just go, where is it? On Google Maps? And just walk there. New York, Boston, Chicago, a few other places. You can do that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Mississippi. You can't just look at your phone, get up and start walking. If you're walking in Mississippi, you've fallen on hard times.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

People in their cars go, you all right? You go, yeah, I'm walking. Don't do that. Don't do that here.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so, like, where you grew up, like, where is, like, the nearest place you could walk to?

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, I could. I mean, I could walk to the fire station from my house, but it was still. Yeah. For help. Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like, I don't see this. I don't smell this.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's.

[Jay Jurdin]

So I could walk to the fire station and I could. And this is so Mississippi. And I could also walk to church. But if I wanted to, like, walk to a store.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

I mean, maybe because it was a small town, I could walk down to the town square, which we still have. But even then, the stores, all the stores there were like antique stores. Stores. And what's crazy is they were antique stores when I was little, so now the antiques are, like, super antique.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, they're ancient. These are fossils at this point.

[Jay Jurdin]

And if that. And if it's an antique store sometime, I do think it's a way to launder money. So, yeah, 100% pawn shops. Antique. Antique Storms. Oh, okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Have you heard this?

[Jay Jurdin]

She knows. Thank God. I'm so glad that the lame Stream media hasn't gotten to you yet, Mattress Firm.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're on to you.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, come on. You're making it way too obvious. Don't get me started on Denver Airport.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, okay. You're locked in like that. All right.

[Jay Jurdin]

Lizard people. They control the election. Whenever people say that lizard people control the election, I want to be like, yeah. You mean people from Arizona? That's.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I guess.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. You just figured out the electoral college.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like. It's like telephone, but something got misconstrued. It's all the same, but just somewhere down the line, it got a little fuzzy. It's close.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's like, right there.

[Grace O'Malley]

It also sounds like a mad lib. Lizard people are taking our children and ruining elections. Okay, next question.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

The following are Mississippian comedians.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right. Jim Henson.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

From Muppets.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Tig Notaro.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Tommy Davidson.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Fred Armisen.

[Jay Jurdin]

Fred Armisen. No, I don't think Fred Armisen's from Mississippi, Sweaty shade. Oh, okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Unless I got it all fucked up.

[Jay Jurdin]

I mean, I will find out. I will look it up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hattiesburg.

[Jay Jurdin]

Hattiesburg, Mississippi. Hell, yeah. Fred Armisen. Hasbro, Mississippi. Fun fact. Okay, so Brett Favre, he went to University of Southern Mississippi. So that's, like, in Hattiesburg.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Jay Jurdin]

And then Brett Favre later on, a couple years ago, they're like, oh, he stole money. Oh, I heard about this from the state. But he also. Everyone remember this. He also showed his dick. Do you remember Brett Favre's dick, like, got leaked because he was sexting? I don't remember this. Yeah. And it was not a good pick.

[Grace O'Malley]

It wasn't.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's one of those things where, like, if my dick pics leaked, I'd be like, oh, you use one of the good ones. Thank God. These were bad photos. These were photos that he. He wanted us to focus on him stealing money from the state because it took away from people. Like, you remember when your dick looked kind of small in that photo?

[Grace O'Malley]

You got to have a real tough penis if that's. If you want to be taken away from the stage.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Rather go on that side of things. Jesus Christ.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, so, yeah. So Hattiesburg, thank you for Fred Armisen and for Brett Favre's tiny little dick.

[Grace O'Malley]

I, I, I was thinking the other day, I think I would have a small penis.

[Jay Jurdin]

You what?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I have such a great personality.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, yeah?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Me, I'm terrible. Horrible, God awful. I did see, I saw one time, I was in Miami at Twist, which is a gay club where you can go and they had this really cool thing where sometimes they steal your phone. And so I love that game, right?

[Grace O'Malley]

I love that game.

[Jay Jurdin]

So much fun. And so when I was there, one of the rooms, they have Go Go Boys. And one of the Go Go Boys, like, if you tip em enough, they will like, strip, Strip. One of the Go Go Boys had a dick so big, he wrapped it around his wrist almost twice and it was like soft and just kind of like flopping around. Oh, wow, that's like Silly Putty at that point. It's Silly Putty Dick at that point. People kind of go, oh, what's everyone's fascination with the big dick? You're kind of just like, what else can you do?

[Grace O'Malley]

What else can you do? You gotta stick a GoPro on that thing and wave it around like a helicopter. Speaking of Drake. Nope.

[Jay Jurdin]

Speaking of Drake. Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

My mind went to a crazy place. Oh, we also have Mary Elizabeth Ellis, who is the always sunny waitress. We've got all these people from Mississippi, including yourself. If you had to host a late night talk show, which one of these people would you have co host with you? And why?

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh, Jim Henson. Because I feel like then I'll be able to book the most important, one of the most important divas of the past 50 years. Miss Piggy. Miss Piggy. I would get Jim Henson so I could be like, can you please talk to Piggy's team?

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, Gaga wishes she could be like, Piggy, please.

[Jay Jurdin]

Right? I. And there used to be a time where people understood that Miss Piggy was such a diva. If there was another diva like, in the vicinity, Miss Piggy would drag them. They're like hilarious interviews with her and Joan Rivers. Like, I love, I love Miss Piggy so much. She like, also kind of a groundbreaker. Domestic abuse, domestic abuse, domestic violence.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. She was the first woman to, the.

[Jay Jurdin]

First woman to really take it out on her man Kermit. And you know what? Good for.

[Grace O'Malley]

He deserved it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Good for. You're right. Good for her.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I mean, Kermit's a good guy.

[Jay Jurdin]

He's a good Guy. But then after they broke up, he dated. That. He dated Danielle.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Whore. You can have a lot of fun with that. As.

[Jay Jurdin]

As I would love. I would love to have Jim Henson and Miss Piggy and all the other Muppets, but what if it was just.

[Grace O'Malley]

Jim Henson without the Muppets?

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay, that's a no. That's.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's just a creep.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's actually a huge no in such a way that then I would want Tig. Yeah, well, because. Because I love Tig Notaro, and she's very nice. I've met her twice, I think. No, I've met her once. She's super sweet. And she would be a perfect balance. Because a lot of people think that lesbians and queer men don't get along. That's what I heard. Because queer men, we just found out we could be misogynistic. Have you heard about this woman?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. Yes. If you haven't, I'll tell you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Please, mansplain away.

[Jay Jurdin]

Right. I would Pig. Tig Notara. And then we would make fun of Brett Favre's penis.

[Grace O'Malley]

So first it's a pig, and then it's a Tig.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, Pig and a Tig. If I could have Miss Piggy and Tiggy, I would like them both.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would watch that every day of the week as a.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's a very gay show. All different types of gay. Because Miss Piggy is drag.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

And Tig is, like, kind of just a super lesbian. And then I'm bisexual. Demon.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, of course. I mean, what's the show called at.

[Jay Jurdin]

That point in Mississippi? Get out. But. But if we film it anywhere else, it's like, oh, it's a fun little town.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's Hollywood.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that got me good. All right. As co hosts, we'd be texting a lot. What's your screen time?

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh, I. My phone's. I. I'm off my phone right now, but if I go check it, it's. It's up there.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's up there.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's. It's on up there. Yeah, it's bad. Now we have to be. Grace, you know this. I know who works both in comedy and in social media. Every day, we get messages from our managers, our agents, and our managers. Assistants about things we should be doing. And I'm like, I thought you wanted me to write more. You just want me on the phone.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You just, like, texted me. We could talk about anything else.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So what's like an average day for you?

[Jay Jurdin]

Average day. I wake up super early, 8:00am West coast time. So I, I wake up, I see if anything blew up over the night. Like, I like, you wake up and kind of go, okay, you're hoping for terrorism. No, I meant social media wise, but sure.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, okay.

[Jay Jurdin]

No, no, no. So I see if like anything crazy happened, I tried to look at some news, get up, go to the kitchen, take my medicine, coffee, a little bit of food, and then, you know, start firing off tweets that hopefully get me in trouble.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you're a little rascal.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. I start telling stuff like, elon, find a very tall building. You know what to do next. Exactly.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just allude to these things.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. I always want to be right on the edge of a secret service being.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, can't touch him yet one of these days.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. I'm always saying stuff like, you know who I want Donald Trump to meet? A slippery bathtub. And they're like, because he's old.

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't say because he stinks. That's good, that's good.

[Jay Jurdin]

I mean, my screen time, it's on up there. But they keep doing this. They keep saying, oh, less screen time. And they just mean that particular screen. Because here's the thing, everything except for something cool and beautiful and live and interactive like this is still screen time because. Okay, so screen time is phone. Screen time is also tv. Screen time is also movie. Screen time is also a computer to make a thing that hopefully either is ending up on tv, phone or movie. Screen time is just time now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You want me to read a book on what, a Kindle Screen time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, dear God, we're stuck.

[Jay Jurdin]

We. We kind of built four different screens and we didn't know they were going to be a prison around us.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't consider television screen time anymore.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's. But do you remember I knew it was the number one years ago, they'd be like, get these kids.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's rotting their brains. You know what, you're right.

[Jay Jurdin]

It did.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm pretty dumb.

[Jay Jurdin]

But our TV rotted our brains in a way that we'll get a reference from years ago now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Phones and iPads have rotted these babies brains to the point where they go to a restaurant and go, yeah. And you go, come on, you're 20.

[Grace O'Malley]

Baby girl. Yeah. I have a little sister, she's 11. She'll just leave a room and be like, love you. I'm like, okay. And she comes back, she's like, I'm back. I love you. I'm like, you don't have to.

[Jay Jurdin]

You don't say that. Hey, Just put in the comments. Don't. Don't tell me in person.

[Grace O'Malley]

But she's like, you know, I do a joke where she turns to me and she ends up saying, you know, I have to do that because you don't know what it's like to get everything ripped away from you in a matter of seconds. She's a Covid baby.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh.

[Grace O'Malley]

She wasn't born during COVID but she got like her impressionable years.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Screw a. I. I do. I feel bad for them, but I also, I also have to reckon with the fact that they are adult. They're closer to adults now, and it's just gonna get harder.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Like they. Whatever classes they missed and whatever they need to double up on if they need to actually learn how to read. Like, it's funny that they consider us smart, because I'm not. I'm. I'm kind of smart. I'm not that smart. But post covet, I'm a Mensa.

[Grace O'Malley]

I've just recently said this. My brain works in 24 hour Instagram loops. I can't remember anything after 24 hours. It's a ticking ticks.

[Jay Jurdin]

Some stuff gets wiped away. Like there's some friends. The friends names locked in the significant other for the father. And these people, they. Some people been together for a long time. Okay, I. I'm not gonna learn it.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's tricky.

[Jay Jurdin]

I'm not gonna learn it. It's taking up space. You know what I always say? I go, how are you an old boy? How are you, you know, boys still together. Oh, that's beautiful. That's wonderful.

[Grace O'Malley]

How are you a boy?

[Jay Jurdin]

Old boy? What's the name? Oh, the tall fella. No, the medium sized fella. Okay. Yeah, that's beautiful. Married to who? Not you. Well, we know that. So.

[Grace O'Malley]

You don't have to learn it till you get to save the date.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Cause they're fucking alone, Grace.

[Jay Jurdin]

You are. Some people don't even give me that, pun intended. Grace. They think I'm supposed to learn everyone's name, even the ugly ones.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you know their name?

[Jay Jurdin]

How are they saving your phone?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's Goofball one and Goofball two. Like, who are you with? You're with that goof still. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Save him in your phone as the Hammer. I know exactly what he's there for.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's good.

[Jay Jurdin]

Wait a second. Do you have. Do you have friends that date boys and you give the boys nicknames? Yeah, because. Because in girl groups, a lot of times they go, we're not going to call them Kevin.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, no, it's. It's. There's usually, like, nicknames and stuff. See, this is where I'm bad.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I have friends who will talk about these boys and go on all these dates and have all this boy drama. I unsubscribe.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm not. I'm not good. Like, unless you're, like, my really close friend, I can't do it. I told one of my friends very recently that I. I just can't do it anymore. It's the same story every time. I gave you my advice, you didn't take it. So I heard she's. She's taking advice from Chat GBT right now. No. Well, she did it to everyone in her whole group, and now nobody wants to hear it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Advice from Chat Grace, that's what you gotta do.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, it talks back, you know?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. I. I mean, like, I. I'm lucky because I'm married, but there is a world where I would need advice sometimes. There's that. There's that kind of alternate universe.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like a therapist, though, you know?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Like, actually, like, listen to your friends.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

I have a friend, he's not married. He's going through a little bit of boy drama. And I remember I told him, I was like, well, do you like him? And he was like, yeah. And I was like, that's the problem. You can't be liking these boys.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You can't actually like them. Think they're hot. Hook up with them. Give them the paper stuff if you can. If they're hot enough, every now and then you pay for something. Never like them.

[Grace O'Malley]

I thought you said give them the paper stuff.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, no, give them the paper stuff. Definitely get these men to pay for things.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I can't accept that.

[Jay Jurdin]

Really?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know what it is. It's something in me. Like, a guy would be like, can I get you a drink? I'm like, no, I got it. What do you want? And then they're like, oh, she's a lesbian. And I'm like, I actually don't know what I teeter on, but I do give off strong alpha tig vibes, you know?

[Jay Jurdin]

Can I give this one? Yeah, of course.

[Grace O'Malley]

Right here.

[Jay Jurdin]

Ben Shapiro, Charlie Kirk, Andrew Tate. Do you see what feminism has done to our country? She won't even let these men buy her a drink.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I think you're onto something here, because what the fuck, the scourge of.

[Jay Jurdin]

Radical left feminism is ruining free drinks. I get the drinks. These soy boys are buying me drinks now.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you're married.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But listen, we're just hanging out. It's the same guy from before. I go, hey, let's get drinks.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

We should take your pants off. What?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm like, all right, that's gonna cost you two more.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, no. What are we doing? This is undergrad all over.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Oh, do you have a personal pop culture hill you'll die on? Something that you'll argue about that no one else agrees with?

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh. That no one else agrees with. Oh, okay. I. I have pop culture hills that people are in agreement with me on. Like, I think X Men 2 is the best superhero movie ever and connected to Secret Service. The first scene in that movie is, like, Nightcrawler teleporting through the White House, and he almost kills the president. And when I say it's my favorite movie, then I'm always like, well, they gonna get me about that one. They're gonna be like, wait a second. Because also, Brian Singer. Brian Singer, he directed that movie. Bryan Singer, he allegedly got involved with some underage boy stuff. So, you know, it's just wild that as the X Men, it's usually this, like, older man recruiting these kids to do dangerous stuff. And I'm like, well, perfect director.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, life imitates art is what they say.

[Jay Jurdin]

So I. I mean, the one pop culture hill that I will die on, maybe, maybe, maybe people don't disagree with this, but I do think it's fun to bring up. I always say, oh, this is gonna be tough. I think Derek Jeter is the best Yankee ever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Ooh, this is tough.

[Jay Jurdin]

And you wanna know why? Because he dated Mariah Carey. And without Derek Jeter, we don't get the album Butterfly. So that's all the stuff on the field. Great, cute, whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

God bless the captain type.

[Jay Jurdin]

Pants type, but boring. But I would say that he is the best Yankee and possibly one of the best baseball players.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, don't go crazy, all right? Because waiting for that.

[Jay Jurdin]

I was waiting for that. But, you know, here's one more. So there's one other one. So. And that is because of his connection to Mariah Carey.

[Grace O'Malley]

He also fudged JLo, right?

[Jay Jurdin]

No, no, no, no, no. I don't think he. Jayla a rod. Yeah, that's what it sounded like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah, that's.

[Jay Jurdin]

That was. That's what JLo sounded like. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So last time she smiled.

[Jay Jurdin]

Here's. Okay. Crazy craziness that we haven't discussed. This is more baseball. JLo Connect. Ben Affleck. And a rod went back. Boston won. Yeah, it's kind of.

[Grace O'Malley]

You got. You got you going Boston over.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's insane. I didn't even think about. There's a. There's this very famous photo of JLo and Ben coming from. It looks like a hotel or just some room. And they're walking together kind of sheepishly, trying to hide from the paparazzi, but not really hiding. And her hair is, like, super up. And it is so clear that he just, like, hit the back wall so many times, like, right before. Like, I think she's, like, missing the earring. Like, the shirt's kind of like this. You're just like, oh, my God, Ben Affleck.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're just in love, but we'll never smile in public.

[Jay Jurdin]

You dirty dog. I know you were thinking about Matt the whole time, and that's something.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, that's the fan fiction. All right. I'm big on those boys, and I'm a Ben fan.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, you write a bunch of fanfic about him.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I wouldn't.

[Jay Jurdin]

But I. I think you might do pure.

[Grace O'Malley]

I want to. I want to make their movie.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, beautiful.

[Grace O'Malley]

They shared a bank account when they started. That's my favorite fun fact that they're married. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

They should just get. They should be the first not gay. Gay couple to get married.

[Grace O'Malley]

It would really help things in Boston.

[Jay Jurdin]

Right.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think everyone would really see things for what they really are.

[Jay Jurdin]

All stereotypes about some people in Boston being homophobic. Every. It would all change if they were, like, listening. We're not gay. We still have sex with women. But we are building a life together.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. We're building our life with our boys.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know, that would.

[Jay Jurdin]

Grace, I think you're on something.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think it's going to be beautiful. If you want to help me write.

[Jay Jurdin]

It, it very much is. I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry. But. But, but, but, but.

[Grace O'Malley]

We could do actors in Hollywood.

[Jay Jurdin]

But they're actors in Hollywood and they're.

[Grace O'Malley]

Young boys who made it.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's the actual take. I like this.

[Grace O'Malley]

I like it.

[Jay Jurdin]

To copyright it. Listen, we'll be eps.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Maybe we should just cut all this so that nobody can steal it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Make sure to keep it. Leave it in. So if anyone does steal it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. We have first, you idiots.

[Unknown]

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Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, right this way.

[Unknown]

Who, me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

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[Grace O'Malley]

This next segment is called in the green room. This is where we get to know you a little bit. Open up a tad. I hate to ask this, but I am curious.

[Jay Jurdin]

Ask it.

[Grace O'Malley]

When. When did you first get your confidence to do stand up?

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh. So I moved to New York City in 2015. I moved here from Mississippi, but I did undergrad and grad school in the South. I got a bfa. I got a BA in English.

[Grace O'Malley]

Where'd you go?

[Jay Jurdin]

I went to Ole Miss. I went to Ole Miss and I went to University of Alabama.

[Grace O'Malley]

I had a bad experience at Ole Miss.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah?

[Grace O'Malley]

What happened? I was dressed. I wore like a blow up red blow up thing. And I just kind of had all red all over me, like paint. And it was as if a lady should be wearing a dress. Those were the kind of looks I.

[Jay Jurdin]

Was getting, I'm not gonna lie. So the culture for game days in Oxford and Tuscaloosa, but. But in Oxford a bit more so. Is very dress up for, like, drunk church.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

More so than dress up for a football game.

[Grace O'Malley]

They act like a goddamn lady is what I was getting. The glares.

[Jay Jurdin]

You don't have to act like a lady, but they are gonn grove tents with chandeliers and like a bunch of, like, hot or d' oeuvres. So they do expect, like, they like your freshman year at Ole Miss. You, you know you're supposed to, like, dress up for football games. And dress up is like khaki, true khakis, loafers, an oxford, a polo. Maybe like an Ole Miss. Like, maybe an Ole Miss polo from, like this, like the bookstore. Yeah, but it's weird. It's weird if you don't know about it because then in Alabama, it was still kind of like that, but it was just very much. A lot of crimson, a lot of houndstooth, and then, like, a bit more relaxed. But there were days where, like, people would go to the Grove look better in the Grove than they would that night at the bars.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's wild.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, Well, I mean, yeah, I mean, it's.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was a culture shock for me.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. I come from boxing.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm a piece of shit. I wear whatever the fuck I wear.

[Jay Jurdin]

My dad's fucking jersey, whatever.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then down there, I was like, I am out of place. I'm out of place.

[Jay Jurdin]

They probably. I mean, there were probably Southern moms.

[Grace O'Malley]

That were like, bless your heart.

[Jay Jurdin]

Or not. Not just bless your heart. They're like, it's like, she's a different species.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. No, I was like, oh, wow. This is like really crazy demand because.

[Jay Jurdin]

You, like, went down there and like, you know, you, like, had opinions like that.

[Grace O'Malley]

I was talking.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, yeah. And no one asked loudly.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nobody asked, Shut that whore up.

[Jay Jurdin]

But I got my. Actually, that could be the second podcast. Shut that whore up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Shut that whore up.

[Jay Jurdin]

But so my confidence for stand up came from my experience doing theater. And then I moved to New York. And the other thing that happened is one of my friends asked if I would do his stand up show. He asked if I would do stand up on his show at this gay bar in Hell's Kitchen called Bakasota. Bottoms Up. It's not closed, but great name, great name, great name. I think the guy who ran it was definitely once again laundering money.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, that's how it goes.

[Jay Jurdin]

Listen, we love nightlife. So he, my friend asked me to do this show. He said, do you do stand up? And I done comedic sketches all throughout undergrad. I had written parody songs, I had written funny articles. I had yet to actually do stand up on stage in New York City.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was like the one you haven't tapped into yet.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, I done like short form improv in undergrad and in grad school, but I'd yet to, like, do just a full on standup set. And I lied and was like, yeah. And so I did it and it went really well. And then the rest of that month I was like, oh, I'm just going to go to Mike's and do stand up. And that was 20, 2017, because I moved here 2015. And I was obsessed with it from the beginning. I was like, okay, jokes. I love jokes. I just wanted to do it all the time. And I had a really great experience at one mic. And then I had that first mic bomb. And it was one of those things where if you bomb at a mic that early in your career, you really have two paths. Some people go, I can never experience this again. And I Was like, okay, go to another mic.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, try again.

[Jay Jurdin]

Try it again. And that's when I kind of was like, okay, I can do this. Yeah, I can, like get to it.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is going to say, sound corny the way I'm saying it. I can't find other words. I've had the pleasure of seeing you and I think you're.

[Jay Jurdin]

Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

I actually, I remember that 82 Stanton Show.

[Jay Jurdin]

I do. I do remember that 82 Stanton Show.

[Grace O'Malley]

I. I saw you there and I just thought you were absolutely like a fantastic joke writer.

[Jay Jurdin]

Thank you. Those two shows, it was like the crowd was a little rowdy and so I'm like, just like, it's a tough.

[Grace O'Malley]

Place to do a show. So, like this place, it's like the window. There's no windows. Yeah, it's like a summer's day. Yeah, a summer's day. And like people are going by, like, like, what are we calling homeless people?

[Jay Jurdin]

No, there, there are people who are experiencing homelessness.

[Grace O'Malley]

So those guys are walking by screaming, housed individuals. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Within. But then the people who are even crazier. You don't have to listen. It's never just one unhoused person outside making the most noise. It's always a sea of boys. Yeah, a sea of boys. A kind of gaggle of women. And if they, they'll walk by, see a stand up comedian on stage, but also be like, oh, there are people inside, they go, what's going on? You be like, I'm doing a show.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. They'll just yell it out.

[Unknown]

Why?

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, because I have to. Do you want to come in? No. Okay. I don't like, stand up. Okay. Right now. I don't either.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't either. Right now this. You're making this sound.

[Jay Jurdin]

Those people will be walking around.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

But once the crowd inside, like really gels. I always say, like a crowd laughing together and a crowd kind of figuring out that they're a part of the experience collectively and really sort of riding that wave. It can be a great show. And I, I like every now and then. Every now and then as a comedian, I want to do a show where there's a couple of challenges.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You start to get so soft and you start to get. You can complain or jaded or. Or jaded.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I just thought you were amazing.

[Jay Jurdin]

Thank you, Grace. That means a lot. I like it. I mean, my big thing is always I like seeing funny people that I don't know about because there's this cool concept that I didn't coin it, but I feel Like, I've. I've talked about it a number of times. Comedic anonymity is so fascinating to me because there can be someone who's very funny and you don't know who they are. And the best feeling is, like, when they get on stage, an audience's first thought is, who the fuck is this? And then if you crush. When you get off stage, the audience has the same thought but with a different twist. They're always like, who the fuck was that? Yeah, that is what I have to look them up. I have to know who they are. Because in your brain as a comedy viewer, you're kind of like, oh, I know all the funny people. So then whenever a new funny person is presented to you in real life, in real time, you go, holy shit.

[Grace O'Malley]

You got to drink. I mean, you got to think like a. Like a drunk girl, like, that guy is really funny.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, really.

[Jay Jurdin]

And those. Those drunk girls are some of. As long as they don't get too rowdy, they're some of the best crowds. Because, like, drunk girls, it's reason, like, clubs make you do, like to drink, minimum.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Once a person has like that. That first sort of like that first layer of kind of like social awareness gone, once you get comfortable and you're a bit more relaxed, like, you laugh freely.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You're like kicking your head back. You're having a good time.

[Grace O'Malley]

If not, it's like a social experiment where everyone's looking around, be like, are they laughing?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. And people are like, who's. Who's gonna be the first person to laugh big and loud instead of like, oh, we're all laughing.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I hate that there's that layer. But that's why it's good that they have the drinks. I didn't know that's why they did that, actually.

[Jay Jurdin]

Social lubricant, if you. Who. Here's the other thing. There is a kind of, like, stark opposite that can also work. So let's say you're doing, like one of these shows in, like, Provo, Utah, like a big kind of Mormon and Christian place. There's the second layer, isn't. It's not like alcohol is going to get out of the way, but it's the sort of discomfort of a comedian being a little naughty in front of these hyper Christians.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I've heard they are great crowds because. Because of that, their big night out, it's like, we're going to get a little crowd.

[Jay Jurdin]

Exactly. You say something about butt stuff, they go, what?

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, random.

[Jay Jurdin]

You go in front of other People, oh my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then they start looking around, seeing who they can swing with. But it's a good vibe. Next question. You've said that your mom bringing you to see the Nutty professor was one of your first introductions to comedy. What are five comedy movies from growing up that you still quote to this day?

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, okay. Definitely not a professor. Nutty professor to this day is one of the funniest. I think Eddie Murphy is so good sometimes and it's hard because as a stand up comedian, you're supposed to be like, oh, raw and delirious are the best things Eddie Murphy's ever gonna make. But to me, the master class in acting that he puts on in Nutty Professor 1, because the clumps is like, okay, but the first Nutty professor with JD Pinkett Smith. It's insanely funny. He's so good in it. And it is kind of. It was a body positivity movie before we knew that's what it was because it's about Sherman loving himself and figuring out that his girl could love him for him. Like sorts of. I mean, first Ozempic movie. So I love, I love the Nutty Professor. Eddie Murphy again in Life with Martin Lawrence was like a big, huge, huge, like, movie for me because it was kind of. It was about Mississippi.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

It was about people coming from the north getting kind of wrapped up in some like, Jim Crow era bullshit crime, locked away for life in Mississippi. But funny, but still funny also. First depiction of like kind of a respectful, same sex loving situation in a Mississippi jail. So that was like very. I remember thinking that was funny and I was like, this is like, this is wild trifecta of.

[Grace O'Malley]

Of right. Life lessons.

[Jay Jurdin]

My husband loves Bring it on. And because he's watched Bring it on so much, I've watched Bring It On a lot. Bring it on is very funny.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're a good partner for that.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's a good. It's a good movie. It's a good. I get to. I get to be like, we watching this again. Turn it up. Like, I was like, oh, no, I.

[Grace O'Malley]

Don'T want to watch this. I can't hear it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, Bring it on was very funny. And like, once again, one of those movies that you look back at it and you go, holy, this changed a lot of things for a lot of different people. I think that Bring It On. I'm probably gonna do five. Because mean girls. I. I wasn't out when Mean girls came out, but I was in high school and mean girls hit my high school like, crap.

[Grace O'Malley]

Really?

[Jay Jurdin]

There was a girl named Michelle and I and she knows that this is true. Michelle, like, she took away the wrong lessons from Mean Girls. If you watch Mean Girls, you're like, hey, don't, don't, do not do what Regina George did. Don't do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

She took it like, rule number one, be a cunt. Rule number two, she made.

[Jay Jurdin]

She made a burn book after seeing the movie. And we're like, the whole movie is about, don't do that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my gosh.

[Jay Jurdin]

And I helped. So it was crazy because I was not out yet, but I was like, okay, Michelle, that's the demon bisexual in you. We're like saying terrible things about people. We love high school reunions coming up. Okay, let me get a fifth one. So I gave, I said, I said.

[Grace O'Malley]

You should make a new one live with Facebook pictures.

[Jay Jurdin]

Professor, everybody who live. Bring it on, Mean Girls. I would say super bad.

[Grace O'Malley]

Super bad.

[Jay Jurdin]

Super bad. It's. There's something in the Apatow Rogan universe that really spoke to me and that kind of.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, be specific with your Rogan, please.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Oh, Seth Rogen. Seth Rogen, Jedi Patel universe. That's spoke to me. I mean, great performances by Michael, Sarah. Great perform. Great, great performances by Bill Hader.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Wait, he's in it?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, he's one of the cops.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's not going to be four year Old Virgin for me and it's not going to be for getting Sarah Marshall. So it probably is super bad. Yeah, I, I saw Super Bad with, like, some of my best high school friends. We weren't in high school. I think we just graduated. But I saw it with like, that's the perfect time. High school buddies when we were like in college, that shit slapped. It's hard to remember laughing that crazy in the theater when all the dicks were on the screen.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Jay Jurdin]

And at this point, I'm out. So I can, like fully laugh. I can't be like, gross, stop. I don't want to take mental pictures of them. But no, now I can like, laugh, scream, laugh.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, when does this come out on Blu Ray? Oh, did you have a fake id?

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh, I almost lied. I just have it. I had, I had a fake id.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I have a crazy name or just.

[Jay Jurdin]

No. So this is what happened. So it was kind of racist, but racism worked out in my favor. Okay, story. So there was this guy named Josh who was also like a black guy who's about my height and my build. We didn't really look alike, but he had an Old id. And he gave me his id and it worked because people can't tell a lot of young black men apart.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's the unfortunate truth. That got you a couple drinks here and there.

[Jay Jurdin]

Got me a couple drinks for a couple years. And then one time, I.

[Grace O'Malley]

A lot of blonde women look alike, too. I'll tell you that. I've met a lot of blonde friends that were just using other blondies. They didn't look anything alike.

[Jay Jurdin]

Super platinum. You're like, I actually can't see your face.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, just see, like, a halo effect. I see, like, the corona of your hair. So one time, a cop took that id and it was like, I was so close to being 21. The cop was like, what's this? I was like, it's yours.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's perfect.

[Jay Jurdin]

I was like, I don't want that. What's that? Who's this guy? That's me. This is me.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's a good call.

[Jay Jurdin]

You think I'm that guy? Racism.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just found this on the. I was gonna return it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, I'm gonna try and find a guy. This young black man can't be me. We look so different, right? Police officer. It. Oh, that's good. That is good. Yeah. I remember when he took it. And then, like, I think I turned 21, like, the next. Oh, it's actually so my 21st birthday, because I'm. I'm like, I'm a Taurus, baby. No, I threw up. So I threw up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Need to cry. I throw up.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Something comes out. So I have a birthday. My birthday is May 8, and it fell on the Friday before graduation. Not my graduation, but just, like, the commencement ceremony at. At college at Ole Miss. I was gone. So gone. I, like, stayed at an apartment across the parking lot from my house because that's where my friends were, and that was, like, where one of the last stops of that night was. Yeah, threw up a lot. Threw up on my shirt. Had to take my shirt off. The shirt's not there anymore. That shirt's gone. So I have to walk back to my.

[Grace O'Malley]

One of your finest bookstore shirts.

[Jay Jurdin]

But. So I have to walk back from my friend's apartment across this parking lot on that Saturday. But I forget it's graduation. So this parking lot is apartment complex close to campus. It's filled with parents and family. So I'm just, like, hungover, walking shirtless back to my apartment. Like, happy graduation.

[Grace O'Malley]

Your buddy couldn't have given you a.

[Jay Jurdin]

Shirt to wear across the parking lot? I just want to go home.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's true.

[Jay Jurdin]

Also, someone needs to see it.

[Grace O'Malley]

You keep saying 21.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, you look like this is 21 too.

[Grace O'Malley]

Celebrating.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, I just kind of fast forward it to being like. Like a wino. Like, just drunk outside, no shirt.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm going to go to this next one. You perform stand up on Late Night. How did you pick which section of your set you're going to fit into the slot? Ooh.

[Jay Jurdin]

So I. The first time I did. The first time I did the Tonight show with Jimmy Fallon, I didn't pick it. So the booker saw me at a comedy festival, and he said he wanted me to do the show, and then he asked if I would do the football section that I did at the festival. So he picked part of it, and I kind of built around it, but I knew what jokes he really wanted. I was like, if you like those jokes so much, you can have them for tv. And he was like, yes. And so he kind of loved that section. And then we kind of wrote. We kind of figured out what was going to be, like, the top of that. So that's how it worked out that time. And then similarly, a second time. I think the second time I did a joke about my marriage. I just got married because this is. This had to be 2022. Yeah. So 2022.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, you're a newlywed.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. So I just got married, and so I have these fun jokes about getting married. And then the booker saw me again at the Comedy Cellar. He was like, I love that stuff. Or do you want to do the show again? And so, like, sometimes it works out like that. If you have, like, a. A bunch of good sets and you have a good relationship with people. Because, like, this sounds so like pie in the sky. And so, like, it only happens in New York, but that is kind of what happens in New York. Like, if you're at any of the clubs and, like, you're, like, crushing consistently, there are moments where a booker from Late Night or a booker from a TV show, we'll walk in and be like, what's going on? Who is this?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, no, I didn't know it worked like that.

[Jay Jurdin]

So every now and then, you do kind of have these happy accidents. And so that was one of them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Serendipity, we call it. Yeah, got it tattooed on my arm. I have to bring it up whenever I can. You were named one of Variety's 10 Comics to Watch. How often do you watch other comic specials?

[Jay Jurdin]

I love watching specials. Yeah, you look. This is why I watch specials. I can't talk if I don't know what's out there. I, I don't know what the lay of the land is or even like, who's like a monster or who's like. And I mean monster, like in the most like, I guess, like, straight bro celebratory way. I'm like, that dude's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Truly. Truly. Like, one of the pleasures that happens with stand up comedy for me is that you can watch people that are very good. And if everything works out in your favor as you, as your star starts to rise, you eventually get to see these people work on something newer. And then you see a special and you go, oh, I was there when they started that bit.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

I was at the club when they actually found that, that little nugget. Oh, I remember I said something and then they went on stage and they said this thing. And so, like, I love watching other people's specials. I love also kind of seeing like, how the, the like, comedy landscape looks now because there's so many. I can't watch them all. But I try to watch, like, if my friends come out with something, I definitely watch. I tell people to watch. My friend Zach just came out with an amazing special. Surprise me. Everyone should watch it. It's so, so funny. He pulls off this magic trick at the end. That is insane.

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, it's very good. And like, Matthew Broussard just put out a great special. Like, every now and then. I'm kind of like, who can I celebrate?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Because, like, as a comic, my only desires are to make people laugh and to see my funny friends also make people laugh. That's really it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just want to see, see everyone succeed. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

And because the rest of it is like, like, so left a chance. Everything else is like, oh, maybe you'll get this thing. Maybe they'll acquire this situation. Maybe you'll get cast in this. Maybe it'll get picked up. I worked on a pilot for, I want to say, close to four years. I was attached to as a star and, like, helped ride and was it like. And it was going around and it's going through tv developmental like hell. And like, we thought it was going one place and we thought it was going another place and then it just didn't get picked up. And then. And so, like, all of that stuff as a comedic actor is out of your control. But when it comes to stand up, you have a bit more control.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

So you can still go and crush.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I, I just had someone recently. I, I did Moon Tower Festival. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

And honestly.

[Grace O'Malley]

And somebody Told me something. They just said, stop worrying about everything else. Just enjoy what you have right now.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because it's never going to be that. It's never going to be that. It's always going to be like the next thing that you're worried about.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And if you can just take. Take the wins when you have them, it's such.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's so hard.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know.

[Jay Jurdin]

I'm, like, actively in that right now. Like, I just shot a special and I'm going through it. Yeah. I'm going through.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you know what you're gonna call it?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, I know what I'm gonna call it. I know. I know a bunch of stuff about it. But. But even now, like when you're going through the post special process, the afterbirth, like when you're eating the placenta.

[Grace O'Malley]

Of course. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

And you're like, I needed these nutrients. And you're like going by the edits line by line. You appreciate it, but you're also like, listen, whenever what happens with this is supposed to happen with this. I'm freeing myself of expecting anything except for. Oh, this is very funny. Yeah, that's. That's truly all you can do right now.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's all you can do.

[Jay Jurdin]

And then the joy. And this is how I know I love stand up because I have a brain disease. Then I go, oh, I get to have all these new jokes. Oh, I get to write all this new stuff now I get to, like, do all this stuff. Like, I get to have all these new opinions and I get to retire these. Some of these things.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

For good.

[Grace O'Malley]

That is wild. So when it comes to filming a special, is it. How involved is it? For me, people do it in many different ways.

[Jay Jurdin]

For me, I. I was lucky with the way everything worked out with, like my team and the production company and the director, and they've done specials that I really liked in the past. They work with Ali Wong's first special and Tom Segura's first special and Jim Gaffigan. So I really like what they have been able to do for other people. Involvement for me was just kind of like really making sure I was on top of the vision. I helped design some scenic elements.

[Grace O'Malley]

Really cool.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's. I mean, and then, you know, I'm a gay boy. So, like, there was a whole, like. There was a whole list of, like, clothing options. I was like, what about this?

[Grace O'Malley]

An ensemble, if you will.

[Jay Jurdin]

When we were. When we were shopping for the outfit, I bought, I want to say, five different shirts and then bought three different pairs of pants and, like, ordered one of the pants to be shipped to where we were shooting the special, but those didn't come. But because we had two backups, like, it wasn't a big deal, but if it would have been. If it would have been, oh, I'm putting all of my eggs in this basket that these pants show up, I would have done a special in my underwear, which, you know, we don't know, maybe.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey.

[Jay Jurdin]

But I was involved in that aspect of it, and now I'm kind of involved because I'm. I'm, like, listed as, like, ep. You're involved in, like, all of the line by line stuff.

[Grace O'Malley]

So she's an executive producer.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. So. So I'm excited, but I like being involved. I like my jokes, and I think it's really good.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, hell yeah. So that's. That's all you can do. That's super awesome. I'm pumped for you, and I'm pumped to watch it. I think it'll be fun to do.

[Jay Jurdin]

A little bit of a exclusive.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Here we go.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're dropping. We're dropping. We're dropping new information.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Y' all getting. This is tmz. Where's Justin Bieber? What's he on?

[Grace O'Malley]

What's happening? I want. I actually want. I think he has the last of the lewds. I really want to get some of them.

[Jay Jurdin]

The last of the loot. Every Sunday on hbo. That's funny. The last of the loot. Yeah. I mean, but here's my thing with the whole Justin Bieber situation right now. A lot of people are like, oh, he's on drugs. Oh, no. But then it'll just be footage of him dancing at Coachella. And I go, well, I kind of. Everyone's on drugs.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everybody's on drug.

[Jay Jurdin]

If we just pan to the right, there are people dancing the same way. So let's. If this was a cbs, maybe word. Whenever they were like, I can't believe he's high at Coachella. I was like, where else do you want him to be high? They're like, oh, poor Haley. I'm like, haley's happy he's not in the house.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, she's. She's happy. He's. He's talking to others. You know, he's usually cooped up in there.

[Jay Jurdin]

You remember he had a monkey. Oh, this is. I can tell you something. This is crazy. One time, Justin Bieber took a rumble class. You know about rumble?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Boxing.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. So one time. So my husband, he worked at Rumble at the. At the Star. He helped Found Rumble. So my husband, he was like part of like the founding team and like helped hire a bunch of people. So he would deal with some of the celebrities. I shouldn't be saying this, but I am. He would deal with some of the celebrities and Justin Bieber came in there and like, he took a Rumble class. People were going crazy. Everyone lost it that he was doing this.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, it is kind of nuts.

[Jay Jurdin]

Here's the crazy part. So he took the. He took the Rumble class and this is how rich he is or I guess just how famous people operate. He like got changed and left his underwear and my husband had to pick it up and like throw it away because people were going to try to steal it and sell it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. And I asked my husband, I said, did you smell them? And he went, no comment.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, yeah. I mean, that's some.

[Jay Jurdin]

Would you. I listen, this is disgraceful. I would have smelled them. I would have taken a whiff.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, and you know, I'm not here to kink shame.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay?

[Grace O'Malley]

Doesn't matter whose fucking draws they are. I'm not smelling them.

[Jay Jurdin]

No, no. I'm not smelling that Ben Affleck.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right.

[Jay Jurdin]

See? See? Y' all hear this? Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. Everyone. Everyone has a celebrity whose bath water they will drink and whose underwear they will sniff.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's fair.

[Jay Jurdin]

There's always going to be. For my mom, I think my mom. Every now and then I think my mom will hook up with Michael Jordan just for the story.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean. Yeah, yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Which is like crazy cuz my mom, she's in her 60s.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Jay Jurdin]

But she would.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I mean, that would be her number one.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's the man that she. Not. I'm in my 30s. That's the man that she has talked to me about. And I started to feel uncomfortable.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Jay Jurdin]

You know, you know when you're. When any older female relative is like, oh, what a handsome young man and you go way. Hey, put some plastic on that couch. I don't want that stain the set.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, no, I mean, I feel like every lady's got one.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm trying to think of who my moms would be.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, who, who, who would your mom drop you off at the fire station for?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't even know. Maybe I could phone a sister.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

John Travolta, though, not current.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Yeah. Me and your mom, we love gay men.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I mean, she used to work at a toy store and she, she met. She met him there. I don't know what he was.

[Jay Jurdin]

John Travolta. Back in the day, I think we. We don't. We have so much distance from his, like, heyday. Like, we're not there for, like, Saturday Night Fever, but there probably was a time when, like, he could have slept with anybody he wanted to. In America, it was the chin. Yeah, that chin, those eyes, that hair.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, he had it going on. You know what his downfall was, of course? Adele Dazeem. As soon as he said that, he started losing hair.

[Jay Jurdin]

The wickedly talented Adele Dazeem. Idina Menzel actually rolled with it in such a fun way.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

She, like, has merch that says Adele.

[Grace O'Malley]

Does she?

[Jay Jurdin]

She's, like, laughed about it in a very smart way because, like, some divas would be like, how dare you get my name wrong? She was like, I love it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Patty wouldn't be too happy, I don't think. This is a new segment. It's called say less.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right. In this segment, say less. Say less. Well, this is where you have the option. In this segment, we will each pick a couple of topics from the Wooden Bowl.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Each topic we can either pick to go on a rant about, or you can simply just say say less. And you say. You could just do a one worded response.

[Jay Jurdin]

Got it?

[Grace O'Malley]

All right. I'll let you do the honors.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. All right. Wooden bowl. All right. Ooh, this is. Okay. All right. No peeking. Oh, Walton Goggins hype. Oh, okay. All right. So I love it. He recently, I think, was in Cultured magazine in a bright fluorescent yellow Speedo.

[Grace O'Malley]

I did see this.

[Jay Jurdin]

I love the picture so much. I posted my own yellow Speedo pic, of which I have several. Oh, okay. When I went to Mexico, I took a bunch of good photos in the yellow Speedo. One, though, you could definitely see my penis. You could. You could see my penis and all of them, but you could, like, see.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know, what you were doing.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, I knew that I was. I was promoting my friend's book at that point. So I love it. I'm all for, like, a kind of great comedic southern ass actor who wants to show his dick on HBO every now and then. Also, he. That's his network now. That's crazy. He had gemstones and white lotus going on at the same time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

And then, like, I think. What? Because then fallout had just happened. He's very booked. I get. I get the hype. I get the hype because he did vice principals with Danny McBride and he was great in that too. He's funny as. So I. I 100% get the hype. And so many so many girls are like, oh, I don't know what is about this man. I just want to him, I go, the rich, funny guy with a great body and a nice dick. You're surprised. You want to him. And they go, yeah, but his hairline. I go, you don't care about that. You truly don't care.

[Grace O'Malley]

You don't care.

[Jay Jurdin]

They go, that's. Isn't it crazy? I want to him. It's not crazy. It's not crazy at all.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you're actually very right about that.

[Jay Jurdin]

He has a banana him, it. Huge banana in there. Yeah, I get it. I get the hype. Hell, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, this one is casual posting on Instagram. I wish I could do this a lot more. I, I, I fall flat on this. I don't know why I still care. I thought that back in the day, I had a theme. Yeah, I had a theme on my Instagram like an idiot. Like, as if anyone gave a shit. Like, I don't know. And now it's, like, ingrained in me. Like, I can only post once a week. Like, who gives a shit?

[Jay Jurdin]

This is my job.

[Grace O'Malley]

I should be posted every single second of the day.

[Jay Jurdin]

No, but it's not just posting. It's casual posting, which, this is what makes us feel like boomers, because you're, you're like Gen Z, cuspy. And then I'm wicked young. I'm full on. I'm full on millennial. We were like, no.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Post if it's important. If not, put in the stories. And I get that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's how I feel about a lot of stuff. But casually posting on, like, Tick Tock and Instagram, I'm with you in that. I wish I could. Maybe one day I will be able to. But remember what we said earlier about screen time?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I know.

[Jay Jurdin]

So which is it?

[Grace O'Malley]

I just, like, I used to. Did you ever have a Finster?

[Jay Jurdin]

No, I couldn't have a Fin. I have a fake. I have a burner account on Twitter where back when people could see your likes every now and then if I want to. Like some. Like a porn.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I was gonna say porn.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I thought you're gonna try and beat around the bush.

[Jay Jurdin]

I'm like, I was beating around the bush. All right.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. But I never had a Finster. Yeah, I got close friends, I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think if I had my Finster vibe onto my Instagram, it'd be a hit.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like a diary. I don't know.

[Jay Jurdin]

Maybe think about it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Should be doing It.

[Jay Jurdin]

You know, like when you do the carousels and you always have the one casual post, like, the carousel will be like a bunch of important stuff and then like this dog.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I think. I think on carousels, my rule is the last picture should be funny.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think it should be silly.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Or just like out of focus, kind of blurry. Like, like a car window. Like something.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

That is saying, don't take any of this stuff seriously because those first three will be like, I had the time of my life. This is such an important moment. I love these people.

[Grace O'Malley]

Come to my show.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

The beach. Amazing.

[Jay Jurdin]

That is how it feels whenever you're like, hey, by the way, we're friends. Come to my show. Yeah, people do. People do that on here on the podcast. They're like, hey, by the way, Grace, just so you know. You know what? People should see my show. And you're like, well, I asked you a different question.

[Grace O'Malley]

There's a. There's an. A loaded time.

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh. Oh, my goodness. This is. I got Andy Cohen. Andy Cohen. As someone who probably is going to want to do a press rollout on Watch what happens live. I like Andy Cohen. A lot of my. A lot of my good friends, they have done coke. So I love.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'd like to have a party with him.

[Jay Jurdin]

I like it. I like any cones. Any man powerful enough to make these multi millionaire women fight like that in front of him, it's gold. He's got something. He knows something we don't. He's just. Just pulling all the strings.

[Grace O'Malley]

I like how you could have said less.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, say less.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, oh, yeah, I really want to come on the show. He's a piece of shit.

[Jay Jurdin]

Not a piece of shit. A sweet, sweet man who probably has the best plug in all of New York City.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, the flavor blue.

[Jay Jurdin]

The flavor. Oh, Ooh. Like the artificial flavor blue.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm a huge fan. I love their work. They've been at it for years. I heard we're slowly but surely getting away from them. And I'm just here to say that. Don't give up.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stay strong. We need you. Blueberries need you. Raspberries need you. What is a raspberry but blue?

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, yeah, red, but.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know, but it's crazy. There's a blue raspberry. I've never seen a blue raspberry. They're not real in La La Land. I'm sucking down a Dum Dum. That's blue raspberry. It's good stuff. I need them for Molly is really what it Is I need flavor Blue for Molly.

[Jay Jurdin]

I think that this is when we feel like boomers. It's the screen time. It's also, like, the casual post and. Hey, what you doing to my artificial colors?

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, don't touch my flavor. That's good.

[Jay Jurdin]

That is. But I mean, like, that's something that's such a part of childhood is, like, seeing your friends and your mouth stained with, like, just the brightest, fakest blue.

[Grace O'Malley]

And, like, that's, like, the funnest, weirdest kid.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. And you're like, yeah, of course. That's why none of our sperm work. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

So kids were snorting pixie dust.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I was like, that is a badass. That was sick. That was a gateway drug.

[Jay Jurdin]

Blue rocks. I love it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love it.

[Jay Jurdin]

I mean, like, people that hate on it. What are you going to do? How are you going to make stuff blue? How? What are you gonna use? Blueberries? That's gonna make stuff purple.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's gross. It doesn't taste as good.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

God. All right, one more.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah, let's do one more. Okay. Silent Uber rides. Say more. Say more. Silent Uber rides. There is a perfect amount of chatter. Just enough that I know you're not gonna kill me and that you're okay with gay people. But, you know, not enough. Where you start asking, like, what was I doing? Where am I from? Or. Because, like, when people ask you, where are you going? Like, and you're going back to New York from, like, a place where you did comedy, they. They have opinions on New York City.

[Grace O'Malley]

And God forbid you tell them you're a comedian.

[Jay Jurdin]

Christ, what are you doing?

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. I was excited to tell people. At first. I was really excited, and then I started switching and telling them that I work for the sandpaper industry.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

They said, oh, really? I'm like, yeah, corporate's out here. Someone's got to make sure it's still rough. That's what I switched to.

[Jay Jurdin]

I started telling people that I was like, I will, like, lean heavy on, like, the writer, and they'll be like, for what? And then that's when I get to, like, makeup, and you think I'll be like, oh, you know, like, when we pick, like, the Gerber baby, sometimes we have to, like, write stuff for them because those babies aren't smart. I'd be like, so we, like, write stuff like that. Like, anytime you've seen, like, a baby having a pen or anything, like, we write it, and they're always like, really? I go, yeah. Because some of these babies, they're racist. So we gotta stop that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You know, that actually is one of my questions. What. What is on your rider? Do you go like all Miss Picky with it?

[Jay Jurdin]

No. I'm so easy. I like a. I like. I like a fruit tray.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love commonality.

[Jay Jurdin]

I love a fruit tray. I would love sugar free Red Bull. I go fruit tray, sugar free Red Bull. I don't specify Fiji, but it helps drops. Fiji, but water. I'll take a Poland Springs if I have to, but I would like Fiji. I don't. You can get her. You can get any water, but. And then I try to get something local that is like good food. Because sometimes if you say like, oh, like chicken, you'll be like, I really gave them too much wiggle room. They're gonna bring something back. Kfc. Yeah. So I would say like, oh, this place is closed. Get me this thing from their menu. But as far as like, all the stuff like that goes out pre when I'm there or like the itinerary before, like I get to the actual venue. It's so simple. It's so chill.

[Grace O'Malley]

That seems pretty chill.

[Jay Jurdin]

Protein bars, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. What about you?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm not there yet.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yes, you are.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, my. I say it every episode, but my. My manager thinks I have a drinking problem, so she puts down non alcoholic Corona. So I keep asking her to change it. She actually won't. It's crazy.

[Jay Jurdin]

I love my big. I have. I love having a beer after a good show. Sometimes a beer before a show. This is what happens to me. I go, I don't even want to do this show. I don't have another beer. Oh, yeah. And not another beer to get drunk. But I'm like, it's five o' clock.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm having fun with everybody. I want to shoot the cuz.

[Jay Jurdin]

Then I really will kind of get in the hang mode instead of show mode. And then when I have that beer after the show, then I'm already in hang mode and it feels better.

[Grace O'Malley]

When I first started out, I was drinking a lot before I went on stage. And then I realized you're actually funnier when you're not hammered. Which is fucking crazy to figure out that young.

[Jay Jurdin]

Listen, young comedians, we all find out. I remember. So I wouldn't drink. But there were times when I was like, oh, what if I went to this mic high? And you know, you don't want to be high.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

When you're like having to sign up on a list and remember to go back, you're like, I'm not gonna. Or like, Remembering to hear your name get called. You're like, I'm not, I don't.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I, I, I'm uppers only.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I can't even relate. I, I can't smoke unless it's before bed.

[Jay Jurdin]

I can, I can do an edible now if I have to. But once again, to me, edible. Why would I waste an edible on comedy when I can waste it on the aquarium?

[Grace O'Malley]

Sick.

[Jay Jurdin]

See?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Something we don't have here.

[Jay Jurdin]

With my mom, I took an edible, went to the aquarium with my mom, my husband. I was in New Orleans. I loved it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Jay Jurdin]

My mom was like, jay, you're having such a good time. I was like, it's the aquarium.

[Grace O'Malley]

Isn't life beautiful? Like, are you tired?

[Jay Jurdin]

No, not at all. Let's keep walking.

[Grace O'Malley]

This segment is called the Write in Room. So for this segment, we asked the live studio audience, the people at home, thank you guys so much for writing things in.

[Jay Jurdin]

We love y' all.

[Grace O'Malley]

We asked them to submit their disgraceful moments, and now we can react. So then you say whether they're disgraceful or not.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, here we go. You wrote for Marvel's X Men. So we asked the audience, if you could give yourself a useless but hilarious superpower, what would it be?

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay, there is one. Okay, so there is one X Men. I think he's officially. He was on one team. Ice cream. And he can make any flavor of ice cream that rocks. And then there was another girl who, and this is even funnier, connected to him. I don't know if they're related, because sometimes people's powers are related. Because they're related. She, when she gets very scared, she poops ice cream.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I'm glad it's not coming out the cooch, you know, because she could just get really excited.

[Jay Jurdin]

This is where me and Grace. This is where me and Grace differ, because if ice cream's coming out the cooch, I'm under that thing, like a frosty machine. I'm dipping my fries in it. I'm afraid of another useless X Men power. There was a kid who could blow up, but he couldn't regenerate. So he just, he found out. He, this is like, in the real X Men lore. He, like, found out they did studies and they were like. Like, I think his name was Bailey or Bentley, one of the two. He was like. He's like, oh, I have an explosive power. And they're like, yes, but just so you know, you can only use it once. And he, they were like, what? He's like, yeah, if you blow up.

[Grace O'Malley]

That'S gonna do it for you.

[Jay Jurdin]

And he did.

[Grace O'Malley]

Jesus Christ. They wrote a whole show about that. The kids blowing up. So the. The audience, they. They submitted a pea. Beer.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. What is it?

[Grace O'Malley]

So their superpower would. Oh, would to be pee beer. Piss beer.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. Can I say I'm. We said no King shaming. So between you and me and the viewers at home. Kind of hot.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I'm locked in.

[Jay Jurdin]

Kind of hot, Right?

[Grace O'Malley]

I was here. Like, that's like, I hope to God you're in on this. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Give me a frosted mug.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, come on. Now it's gonna come up. I mean, I hope it's not piss warm as well, but.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Cold beer from your buddy. But he just pees them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, just open up, zip down the fly, and pour them on up my man. That'd be great. I would need more male friends. Oh, they can make sticky stuff. Not sticky anymore.

[Jay Jurdin]

What I mean. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wash your hands, you gremlin. All ten fingers. Dispense different liquids. I love that.

[Jay Jurdin]

Great Gregory Gray. People always do that. They always say, if you could get. You get five and get five and five, I would probably. I would probably go water.

[Grace O'Malley]

Water.

[Jay Jurdin]

Want water for one. Beer. Beer.

[Grace O'Malley]

Of course. Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You know, I. Ooh, what about this? Not technically green of me, but gasoline for a car.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I don't drive.

[Jay Jurdin]

Both just.

[Grace O'Malley]

I can't even relate.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. I don't drive.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's good.

[Jay Jurdin]

But in case.

[Grace O'Malley]

Gasoline would be Great.

[Jay Jurdin]

You got 10 fingers.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Do you just want to be like a Coke? Freestyle? Like, it would be a bunch of different flavors. I want some actual helpful stuff.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's smart.

[Jay Jurdin]

Actually, you know what? Ring finger, cold brew.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's nasty.

[Jay Jurdin]

Pinky almond milk for the cold brew or the cold brew? What about you?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'd say I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go Cherry Coke.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna go beer. I'm gonna go ranch.

[Jay Jurdin]

All right.

[Grace O'Malley]

I wanna.

[Jay Jurdin]

That's the thick. The. The ranch is coming out. Okay. Yeah. That counts.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just gotta shake that middle.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

A lot.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't even want to say water, but water.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then soap.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay. Whoa. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think it'd be really funny.

[Jay Jurdin]

All right. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just have soap on you all the time. Or mouth one of your friends has bad breath.

[Jay Jurdin]

Just mouthwash is a good one. Just.

[Grace O'Malley]

I guess you wouldn't really give your friend mouthwash, even if they're. They. They did have bad breath. But if it came from the finger.

[Jay Jurdin]

It'S more fun once Your friends find out about it. There are. There are going to be moments where your friends like, can I suck? Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Can I have a little. God, I wish that was real. For a second there, I thought it was real, and I really had to pick. And I was like, this is too much. The power of giving anyone a lisp for a day.

[Jay Jurdin]

You want to do it to, like, famous people.

[Grace O'Malley]

I like that.

[Jay Jurdin]

You want to do it to a politician during an important press conference.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, what if you were up for the same award as someone and then they do a speech and just lisp? That'd be great. Teleportation, but only 5 inches to the left. That's funny. Know every dick size. Not for sexual reasons, but for bullying purposes.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay, here's. Here's what's wild. So that lets me know it was a man. And he actually does mean for sexual purposes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

He wants to know.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is what we're learning. Straight men are gay.

[Jay Jurdin]

Revealed that to himself. He said, oh, I want to know what everyone's dick looks like. Not for gay reasons. Yeah, not for gay reasons. So I can bully them. What are you gonna say? I know what your dick look like. How do you know? Oh, it's a superpower of mine. Kind of gay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because I wanted to bully you, Cuz.

[Jay Jurdin]

I wanted to bully you. All right. That's your. Oh, no. Yeah. And you better not show me.

[Grace O'Malley]

You have a great point.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah. Don't put it in my mouth.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's wrong with you? I know I could fit it.

[Jay Jurdin]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

You don't ask to see a picture on the menu unless you want to eat it. Yeah. For real, right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. There it is.

[Unknown]

Your new beginning starts now. Dr. Horton has new construction homes available in Ellensburg and throughout the greater Seattle area. With spacious floor plans, flexible living spaces, and home technology packages, you can enjoy more cozy moments and sweet memories in your beautiful new home. With new home communities opening in Ellensburg and throughout the Seattle area, Dr. Horton has the ideal home for you. Learn [e-mail] Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder.

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, right this way.

[Unknown]

Who, me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP stats status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences. Just for being a customer. At T Mobile, VIP means y o u. Check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.

[Grace O'Malley]

My last question is, what is your walkout song?

[Jay Jurdin]

Ooh. On stage, whenever I'm doing, like, clubs and venues around the country, I always pick Missy Elliott. Socket to me, Me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's good.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's such a good song. The crowd instantly gets into it. It's fun. It's also a great song because it's perfect from the first second.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

It literally. You hit play and it goes boom.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You don't have to tell them like, oh, skip for 17 seconds. Like, yeah, yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

It's so easy for sound people too, because it just comes in. You can be like, crank it. And you can also be like, oh, for pre show, we'll do Missy Elliott, Spotify. And it's just all these songs that everyone loves. It feels dancy, but not too dancy. It feels like, fun but not crazy. It's like hip hop, but it's not like it's not saying the craziest in the world. It's like, there's some older women. They're like, I love Missy Elliot. Like, so it's kind of. You can get an auntie to be like, yeah, put that back down. Flip it and reverse it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, totally. They're not even thinking about the words. They're like, I just really like the beat.

[Jay Jurdin]

Exactly. I don't want them in felt young. Exactly. So that swath of like, you want that kind of general appeal is perfect for it. What's your walk on music?

[Grace O'Malley]

I do Eddie Murphy party all the time.

[Jay Jurdin]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Jay Jurdin]

Good song.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's good with Rick James. Was that with Rick James? Really?

[Jay Jurdin]

Rick James helped produce that song. If you watch the music video, Rick James is in the control booth. Eddie's in the vocal booth. Rick James is outside, and he's, like, giving Eddie notes. And Eddie's, like, singing and like, Rick James. There's a cut to him being like, that's fucking awesome. And it's also, like, funny because you also get to see Rick James basically be like a toddler and Tierra's mom, where he's like, you got it.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're doing great, sweetie. All right. And that is gonna do it for the show. All right, thank you so much for coming on. And now here's your allotted time to promote anything you'd like.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, yeah. Follow me on all social media. Jj, J, A Y, J, U, R, D, E, N. You can catch me being half naked on Twitter and Instagram. I started doing threads again. I forgot that was even a thing. Mark Zuckerberg, what's wrong with you? I'm on tour right now. So you can catch me in your city. I'll be in D.C. may 29 through June 2 for World Pride at the D.C. improv. Buy tickets. Those are, like, going fast because gay men have disposable income. But also they're sad right now because, you know, we about to be kicked out of the country because. So we're just working on that. I'll be at the Punchline in San Francisco. I'll be. I'll be at Pride Fest in Milwaukee. I'll be all over. So go to the website. That's where all the ticket info will be. And maybe, maybe there'll be an announcement about the special too.

[Grace O'Malley]

Maybe you heard it here first, folks. Jay, thank you so much. This was so awesome. I really appreciate you.

[Jay Jurdin]

So much fun.

[Grace O'Malley]

I had a blast.

[Jay Jurdin]

You're fine. Really fun. More people should know that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, cool. That's good. I like that.

[Jay Jurdin]

You're good.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you.

[Unknown]

Your new beginning starts now. Dr. Horton has new construction homes available in Ellensburg and throughout the greater Seattle area. With spacious floor plans, flexible living spaces and home technology packages, you can enjoy more cozy moments and sweet memories in your beautiful new home. With new home communities opening in Ellensburg and throughout the Seattle area, Dr. Horton has the ideal home for you. Learn more@doctor Horton.com Dr. Horton, America's builder and equal housing opportunity builder.

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Jay Jurdin]

Oh, right this way.

[Unknown]

Who, me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP stats. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer at t mobile. VIP means y o u. Check out the VIP treatment at t mobile.com benefits.

[Jay Jurdin]

Make your memorial Day weekend joyfully chill with a cool, creamy sensation of my mochi ice cream. My mochi is perfectly portioned scoops of premium ice cream wrapped in sweet soft dough. It comes in all your favorite flavors like strawberry, mango, cookies and cream and amazing new flavors like lemon cheesecake. My mochi ice cream is gluten free and only around 70 calories per piece. Look for the purple box of Mymochi at walmart or visit mymochi.com to find a store near you.