Luck of The Irish w/ Maggie Winters

Summary

Podcast Summary: Disgraceful with Grace O'Malley

Episode: "Luck of The Irish w/ Maggie Winters"

Date: March 12, 2026
Host: Unwell (Grace O’Malley)
Guest: Maggie Winters

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Episode Overview

In this lively, sharply comedic episode of Disgraceful, Grace O’Malley welcomes Chicago-based comedian Maggie Winters, set to release her debut special “Margaret” on St. Patrick's Day. The episode is a fast-paced journey through Irish family chaos, showbiz struggles, internet boundaries, improv games, and comedy industry gossip, all wrapped in candid friendship and relentless bits. Maggie is auditioning as a possible recurring co-host, adding to the playful, competitive tone.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Comedian Origins & Irish Heritage

• Triplet Comedy Roots:
  • Grace and Maggie reminisce about a Chicago show with Molly Carney titled "three twins" (01:33), evolving from former “mortal enemies” to close friends.
• Family Background:
  • Both discuss their strong Boston-Chicago-Irish clan connections (“Come on Mayo!” – 04:04), family parties, and the meaning of St. Patrick’s Day gatherings (“Catholic mass and then a party”—06:16).
  • Maggie’s uncle is a priest: “The amount of times I've said my uncle's a priest, and he doesn't know that I'm just talking about him on, like, all over the world.” (07:26)
• Favorite Traditions—St. Patrick’s Day:
  • Celebrating with her big family, food, and drinking (including elaborate tales about Irish dads wanting Pope photos in Sox hats—06:34).

2. Comedy Hustle & The Business

• Auditions, Roles, and Rejection:
  • Both vent about comedy roles, headshot expectations, and the odd specificity (awkward friend, “illiterate fat intern”—09:24). Maggie jokes: “Every audition I get is like, annoying friend who won't shut up. Disgusting, ugly. Okay, yeah, perfect.” (09:15)
  • The frustration of losing roles to more famous LGBTQ+ comics (hi Fortune Feimster!) and ongoing typecasting.
• Maggie’s Upcoming Special:
  • “Margaret” is more than stand-up: “I call it a solo show because I do stand up storytelling and, like, videos in it... It's literally called a special. It's special to me.” (36:49, 37:03)
  • Produced by Absolutely (Tim & Eric's company) and filmed at UCB in LA, directed by her brothers—insight on family collaboration and creative vulnerability (37:45–38:09).

3. Internet & Mental Health

• Escaping The “Internet Brain” Trap:

  • Both talk about using “the brick” (a phone lock box) to avoid doomscrolling and hurtful DMs.
  • Maggie: “I was on my phone non stop, and then I'd get one little D or one little, like, comment that was just like, I don't like your shoes. And I'm like, I'm suicidal... It's broad in your brain!” (14:20)
  • Maggie’s liberation: “I do feel free.” (14:58)

• Hate and Harassment:

  • Grace reads a particularly aggressive DM about her accent: “Can we agree the Boston accent is generally the most atrocious dog water accent on the fucking planet?” (12:46)
  • Both riff on how comedians handle online hate (“Try being a comedian for one day. It's impossible.”—11:54).

4. Identity, Aging, and Navigating Womanhood in Comedy

• Headshot Pressures & Body Image:
  • Frustrations with the relentless pressure to “lose weight” before new photos: “They keep saying you need new headshots... No, I need to lose weight first.” (10:04)
  • Maggie’s revelation: “When I turned 30 my friend Jack... was like, 'You can actually dress better.' Changed my whole life.” (29:46)
• Theater Kid & “Cringe” Culture:
  • Both embrace “cringey” fandoms—musicals (Legally Blonde; Annie), purple bedroom phases (purple = bisexual, per Grace—36:19).
  • Maggie: “Anything that's like, any sort of culture that's like, cringe. It's like. I'm like, yes. Give me a minute.” (19:33)

5. Millennials, Pop Culture, and Generational Humor

• Harry Potter Compulsion:
  • “I'm a millennial. If I don't say Harry Potter on the podcast one time, I get shot in the head.” (08:11)—running bit about millennial obsessions.
• Classic TV & Broadway:
  • Extended riffing on Annie, Wicked, Tyra Banks, and stigmas around musicals and cringe.

6. Food, Drinking, and Home Life

• Favorite Foods:
  • Maggie: Go-to sandwich is turkey with Gardnera (22:12).
  • Grace: “Udon noodles. Any which way.” (22:47)
  • Discussion on Boston’s Chinese food, crab rangoons, and the drinking culture at Chinese restaurants, “Apparently, like, you don't know what a Mai Tai is?!” (23:28)
• Shared Parental Chaos Stories:
  • “I ran away as a kid—starving, came back for dinner.” (34:06)
  • Discussion of purple rooms, bi girl culture, and more (36:21).

7. Improv Games

(Approx. 44:48–55:57)
Grace and Maggie go full improv, drawing scenario/character combos and riffing:

• “Destination wedding in Barbados—Rihanna bit” (45:19)
• “First date, Clams Casino, earthquake anxiety” (47:58)
• “Real estate fantasy football scammer” (50:38)
• “Baby shower, confused older woman” (56:13)
• Frequent accent play (“I can only talk transatlantic. Yeah, because it's the only accent I can say anymore.” – 58:22)
• Wild, loosely controlled scenes; mutual crack-ups.

8. Reflection on Weddings, Family, and Children

• Weddings and The Single Life:
  • “Weddings are so expensive”—debate on enjoying them and not wanting to marry or have children (38:30–40:14).
  • “Motherhood has never been my thing...I just. I love my niece. I love my nephews. Stop there.” (40:14)

9. Showbiz and Acting Experiences

• Big career moment:
  • Maggie’s role in “Righteous Gemstones” as Taryn, learning about actor pampering and her first on-set experience; “I had a stunt double...I did flips.” (59:05–59:43)
• Church Songs & Family Mass:
  • Silly argument about best church hymn, with musical outbursts (60:24–61:09)
• Shout-outs:
  • Maggie’s signature rapid-fire shout out, ending: “Shout out to crab rangoons. Shout out to my bed. Shout out to the brick. Shout out to Grace O’Malley...Shout out to not the government right now. Maybe later.” (61:37)

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Notable Quotes

• On comedy auditions:
  • “Every audition I get is like, annoying friend who won't shut up. Disgusting, ugly. Okay, yeah, perfect.” — Maggie Winters (09:15)
• On immigrant family parties:
  • “My dad...he got pissed. He got it for himself. Framed it in the basement, of course.” — Maggie, re: Pope photo (06:48)
• On headshots:
  • “They keep saying you need new headshots. I'm like, no, I don't. I have to lose so much weight.” — Grace O’Malley (10:04)
• On internet burnout:
  • “Every video I get is like, God bless you. What was that? It was like a woman being like a demon did come out of me, I think.” — Maggie (14:20)
• On Boston accent hate DMs:
  • “Can we agree the Boston accent is generally the most atrocious dog water accent on the fucking planet?” — Read by Grace (12:46)
• On not wanting motherhood:
  • “Motherhood has never been my thing... I just. I love my niece. I love my nephews. Stop there.” — Maggie (40:14)
• On millennial catchphrases:
  • “I'm a millennial. If I don't say Harry Potter on the podcast one time, I get shot in the head.” — Maggie (08:11)
• On being a purple girl:
  • “The other day in my group chat, my friends were like, whose favorite color was purple? Like, purple girls were so weird. And then I come in the chat, I was like, I was a purple girl. And everyone's like, a fucking course you were.” — Maggie (36:21)
• Shout-outs finale:
  • "Shout out to my friends. Shout out to my family. Shout out to Crab Rangoons. Shout out to my bed. Shout out to the brick..." — Maggie (61:37)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:00] — Grace introduces Maggie Winters; Irish triplet comedy roots.
• [05:50] — St. Patrick’s Day, family, cultural traditions.
• [09:15] — The reality of showbiz auditions and body image pressures.
• [12:46] — Grace reads a brutal DM about the Boston accent (quote above).
• [14:20] — Maggie discusses “the brick,” internet toxicity, mental health.
• [19:21] — Musical theatre, embracing “cringe”, and memory lane.
• [22:05] — Favorite foods, regional eating, drinking at Chinese restaurants.
• [29:46] — Maggie on body image, fashion, and changing self-esteem.
• [36:40] — Segment on Maggie's special “Margaret”; the meaning of ‘special’ in comedy.
• [38:30] — Debating modern wedding culture.
• [44:48]–[55:57] — Improv scenarios and mutual goofiness.
• [59:05] — Righteous Gemstones TV role; insight into acting.
• [60:24] — Favorite church hymns, family mass memories.
• [61:37] — Maggie’s rapid-fire shoutout and closing plugs.

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Episode Tone & Takeaways

Grace and Maggie’s rapport is chaotic, loving, and refreshingly unguarded, filled with self-deprecating humor, millennial references, and strong opinions on comedy, family, food, and internet life. Their conversation is a blend of bit-driven laughter and moments of candor on mental health, rejection, and identity, peppered with improv and callback jokes. Maggie’s irreverence and supportive joking make her a natural co-host contender.

“It’s literally called a special. It’s special to me.” — Maggie, on owning her unique comedic path (37:03)

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Where to Find More

• Maggie Winters’s special “Margaret” releases St. Patrick’s Day (March 17, 2026) on UCB’s YouTube and website.
• Maggie Winters: @saggysplinters (TikTok/Instagram; “saggy with an ie”)
• On tour with Connor Wood, and soon collaborating with Grace O’Malley and Molly Carney on another Boston show.

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Transcript

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[Maggie Winters]

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[Grace O'Malley]

This week I am joined by one of Chicago's funniest. Her special Margaret comes out St. Patrick's Day. The one, the only, my good friend, Maggie Winters, everybody.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hello.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm gonna do a voice because you're doing a voice.

[Grace O'Malley]

Isn't it fun?

[Maggie Winters]

My friend, Grace o'. Malley. Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Maggie Winters]

We used to hate each other.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Maggie Winters]

We were mortal enemies until we realized we were the same person.

[Grace O'Malley]

Same person. Triplets, if you will. Molly guard if you're watching.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. Molly Carney.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, we did a. We did a. We did a three twin. Three triplet show in Chicago.

[Maggie Winters]

Three twin is so funny.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yo. Three twins. That's like me saying girl. Gays. Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

Someone gives birth, they're like, what'd you have? Like, I had three twins.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everyone's like, I had three twins.

[Maggie Winters]

Three sets of twins.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I love them all equally.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, they're all my babies. Thank you for having me here.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you so much for coming.

[Maggie Winters]

I love them on the set. I did say it's smaller than I thought it would be. It always is in a beautiful.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You know how this works in Hollywood?

[Maggie Winters]

I walk and I go. This. No, you've been on set once, maybe

[Grace O'Malley]

plenty of time, maybe. You just did Andy Cohen.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, I did? Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

You did.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And you were the bartender.

[Maggie Winters]

I forgot. That's a set.

[Grace O'Malley]

And now this will be. Watch what happens live. It's not actually live.

[Maggie Winters]

No, it's not. Mine comes out Sunday.

[Grace O'Malley]

Comes out on Sunday. This will come out on Thursday.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, next week. Because today's Thursday. So I was going today.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, comes out today. We got a quick turnaround. This is actually live.

[Maggie Winters]

You guys are on it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Fuck, Andy. We're doing it live.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I do want to ask you, like, if you. So you were just saying before we started airing not to air your business. Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

Don't say the stuff I said.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know this was a private matter, but if there. I know you weren't allowed to say like so many things.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

What would you have said? Given more time.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, on watch what happens live.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think you're finishing my sentence. Of course I speak in code.

[Maggie Winters]

You're like, and what would you have said if you were there? And I'm like, Where was I? Nine, 11, honey. I would have said a lot if I was there. I would have said a lot.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would have said. I would have done a lot of screaming.

[Maggie Winters]

I was in sixth grade. Were you even born?

[Grace O'Malley]

I was two.

[Maggie Winters]

That's barely born if you have a two year old. Honey. No, I'm just kidding. They're like. They're losing their minds. I would have said. I think I would have. You know, it's good because I didn't have to think too much, which is always good.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's important.

[Maggie Winters]

I probably would have tried to do like more like big jokes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

And if they didn't land, I would

[Grace O'Malley]

have committed long, elaborate. Like a long elaborate. Like long winded.

[Maggie Winters]

So I'm at the bar and he's like, okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's like, what are you doing for St. Patrick's Day? Well, back where I'm from, maybe. Maybe it was four moons ago.

[Maggie Winters]

Family, friends, faith. That's where start.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're like, okay, now the winches, they. They hail from Cork or Where.

[Maggie Winters]

Where are you from? Oh, my God. We're from Clare island and Castle island, which is in Mayo and Claire. County. Claire. What? What county?

[Grace O'Malley]

Mayo as well.

[Maggie Winters]

Come on, Mayo.

[Grace O'Malley]

Come on, Mayo. I knew he looked alike. Come on now, sister.

[Maggie Winters]

We are the. We are the Boston Chicago connection. Am a little older. Not a too much, but a little bit. I think about just 10 years. It's not a big deal.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everyone's the same age.

[Maggie Winters]

Everyone's the same age.

[Grace O'Malley]

Except Nora once said. I say it every episode. I know, I know. Nora once said that I am so much older than her.

[Maggie Winters]

How old is Nora?

[Grace O'Malley]

Three years younger.

[Maggie Winters]

Nora.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, we don't do that.

[Maggie Winters]

Me and you are the same age. Nora, we're both 19. Come on. Yeah, we're the same age. And after we went to college together, we were in the same sorority.

[Grace O'Malley]

You guys bunked.

[Maggie Winters]

Le Bongs.

[Grace O'Malley]

They said two beds. You said absolutely not. One on top of the way that,

[Maggie Winters]

like, if I had to bunk, like, I'm just, like, too big. I'm always like, I have to be on the bottom and. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

And. Yeah, but, like, everyone.

[Maggie Winters]

I have to be in the front seat of the car, and I have to be in the bottom bunk. Like, it just.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's just kind of. That's just kind of how it goes.

[Maggie Winters]

Gotta be, my friend. Those are the stipulations.

[Grace O'Malley]

And if you want to get with me, you gotta get with my planned.

[Maggie Winters]

If you want to be mad. Oh, that's what you're singing, right?

[Grace O'Malley]

It just, like, wasn't funny, so I stopped.

[Maggie Winters]

No, I got. I get. I actually was like, let's get it going.

[Grace O'Malley]

We accidentally, like, dressed up for St. Patty's Day. I don't know.

[Maggie Winters]

Mine was very purposefully.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was.

[Maggie Winters]

Well, I was like, let me do that. My special is coming on St. Patrick's Day. So I was like, let me make the press tour all St. Patrick's Day.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love that you said that.

[Maggie Winters]

Vibes.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love. I love that you pick St. Patty's Day. Of course. Are you going to show it at the big party or is that.

[Maggie Winters]

No, I'm going to definitely.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, that's kind of crazy.

[Maggie Winters]

I. They keep telling me that you should play it for a bunch of people. I'm like, I have to watch people watch my special. Hell, no. No, I think you should do that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, but I don't think you should interrupt the big family. You said, right?

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

You guys go fucking crazy. Nuts. You invited me last year. I wish I came. I don't know if I'm allowed this year.

[Maggie Winters]

But you are still come the Sunday before St. Patrick's Day. The South.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's how we do. Shouting.

[Maggie Winters]

That's how you do it.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's how we do it.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So any Sunday before? Like, the closest one.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes, the Sunday. Or if St. Patrick, say, falls on a Sunday, that's game on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's too much.

[Maggie Winters]

I know. You're asking for trouble. My family has Catholic mass and then a party. Catholic mass.

[Grace O'Malley]

Are you guys still repping that?

[Maggie Winters]

My uncle's a priest, of course.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, wow.

[Maggie Winters]

Am I.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you guys got the good ones, you know, you got the pope. Monarchs.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Pope Leo. Jesus. You're breeding the best of the best over there.

[Maggie Winters]

My dad, for Christmas, at the end of opening gifts, he goes, well, nobody got me a photo of the Pope in a sock hat. In a socks hat. We're all going, what? He's like, nobody got me a photo of the Pope in the socks head. I was hoping to get. I was like, he didn't ask for that.

[Grace O'Malley]

He didn't have to.

[Maggie Winters]

That's what I'm saying. Like, he got pissed. He got it for himself. Framed it in the basement, of course.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. With the candle. Yes, of course.

[Maggie Winters]

He loves the Pope. He's all about it. He was like, did he know him personally?

[Credit Disclaimer Speaker]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is the Pope actually Chicago born and raised?

[Maggie Winters]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

See, this is what I don't like.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, no, he. He was born there, but then he spent a lot of time in South America.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Maggie Winters]

His brother. But nobody has two Chicago brothers. And it's just, like, funny to be like, my brother's the Pope.

[Grace O'Malley]

What do you think you are? I am. My brother's the Pope

[Maggie Winters]

again. My uncle is a priest.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, of course.

[Maggie Winters]

And the amount of times I've said my uncle's a priest, and he doesn't know that. I'm just talking about him on, like, all over the world.

[Grace O'Malley]

The priests have phones, though, right?

[Maggie Winters]

He asked, but he's not.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, he's 65.

[Maggie Winters]

Is like. He's like, I'm going to bed. I'm a priest.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I'm gonna have a little. You know the funny thing that always makes me laugh is that priests can drink.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, and they drink and they drink and they drink and they drink.

[Maggie Winters]

Could get into it.

[Grace O'Malley]

We could. Absolutely. I saw her.

[Maggie Winters]

My uncle doesn't drink because he was drinking.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, really?

[Maggie Winters]

A lot of my uncles.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's kind of how it goes. It's like, eventually you have to hang up the hat.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Or in his case, the cloak. Yeah, the religious one.

[Maggie Winters]

The religious one. Guys, don't be. It's not about Harry Potter this time.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh. Oh, was it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's just move on.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm a millennial. If I don't say Harry Potter on the podcast one time, I get shot in the head.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. What is it with you guys? What is the deal with that?

[Maggie Winters]

What do you mean? It's all we had. Like, we. We. I can't have cups. I can't think of a reason.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dude, I. I just had Bobby Moynihan on. He was saying that he. He goes, I feel he just did a show with Daniel Radcliffe.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. He sat right here.

[Grace O'Malley]

He goes, I'm he goes, I'm. He sure did.

[Maggie Winters]

Bobby. Bobby. I feel your energy, Bobby, and I'm thankful for it. You're like, we got a new couch.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm not. I'm not bragging.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm just.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm just saying that he was working with Daniel Rack.

[Maggie Winters]

He touched. He touched Daniel Radcliffe. Daniel Radcliffe's energy came through me. And I had to say Harry Potter.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's. And that's just how the good.

[Maggie Winters]

I auditioned for that show.

[Grace O'Malley]

You did?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. They said no.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I don't even think there's any women in it.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my. Maybe they cut the part.

[Grace O'Malley]

They cut the part?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. There's no women. No, there's two.

[Grace O'Malley]

A wife.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, of course. If there's not a wife in the show, what's the point?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, yeah, a nagging wife. You gotta have the nagging wife and the big shining star husband.

[Maggie Winters]

Every audition I get is like, annoying friend who won't shut up. Disgusting, ugly. Okay, yeah, perfect.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think I'm just getting everything that Meg Salter doesn't want. Yeah, it's like illiterate fat. Yeah, illiterate, illiterate fat. Interned. Every part.

[Maggie Winters]

I like. I'm like, I'm getting this 100%. There's no way. I'm not getting it. And then like the next day, it's like fortune Feemster books again. Yes, yes, yes, yes, of course, please.

[Grace O'Malley]

And now she's going to start getting these straight rules because she does her character with them.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just saw that the other day.

[Maggie Winters]

I didn't.

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't know she was up there doing that.

[Maggie Winters]

Let a bisexual woman get a job.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, for sake amid.

[Maggie Winters]

I need it, please. I don't get it.

[Grace O'Malley]

They keep saying you need new headshots. I'm like, no, I don't. I have to lose so much weight.

[Maggie Winters]

No, you don't. You need to do headshots.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I need to lose weight first. No, no, no, no. Like the ones I have two years ago. Smoking.

[Maggie Winters]

Shut up. You're still smoking.

[Grace O'Malley]

Look at this vape.

[Maggie Winters]

Can I leave?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. You held hostage, John Quinones.

[Maggie Winters]

I have a lot of good people that take amazing John photos. I know people. Come on. You gotta get. Once you get good pics, you're just like blasting them out there.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, dude. And I'm just not ready yet.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay?

[Grace O'Malley]

Just not ready yet. I hate being in front of them.

[Maggie Winters]

I started text you every day. I'm like, get those headshots. It is. I do need them to tell me what to do because I'm just like,

[Grace O'Malley]

dude, you like any picture I've ever taken professionally?

[Maggie Winters]

It's. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Or I start being a jackass and I go, well, it's like, oh, dude,

[Maggie Winters]

no, you gotta get the people. Like, you gotta. You gotta watch Rachel Senate when she takes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I can't do Rachel.

[Maggie Winters]

Do Rachel. I can't do what she does, of course. But I'm gonna be inspired to do what. What it means to me.

[Grace O'Malley]

I like. Okay. I like that.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. What it means to you.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna go. Well, I go in my seltzer style.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

Meg takes herself. And I don't mean that, like, I mean this in a good way. Like, seriously, when she's in those photo shoots. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Quite literally. I love it. It's awesome.

[Maggie Winters]

That's you. Who you're going to channel. That's.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm going to channel because I need her roles.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm here to bully you to taking beautiful photos.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you, mama. What was I. What was I just going to say? Oh. Oh, the what? The one I thought I was definitely going to get was I auditioned to be the voice of Ted's girlfriend. The teddy bear.

[Maggie Winters]

That would have been perfect for you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Calm the. On.

[Maggie Winters]

Who got it?

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't even wanna know.

[Maggie Winters]

Don't tell us, because they're probably faking the boss. You comment. Who got it?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, also, can I just.

[Maggie Winters]

I'll block you.

[Grace O'Malley]

I will block you. Well, I had to block someone.

[Maggie Winters]

They're like, I'm not following you. Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Try being a comedian for one day. It's impossible.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm getting a. I'm getting a divorce.

[Grace O'Malley]

You might wanna sit down for us. I wanna have her on. She's like, who. What are you doing?

[Maggie Winters]

I need to talk to her about her Winnie the Pooh tattoo.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. It's giant.

[Maggie Winters]

It's giant.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's giant. But she. She's never had more fun in Vegas.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, she went to Vegas. Is that your impression of her?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah. It's me doing an exaggerated Boston accent. Okay.

[Maggie Winters]

She's.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't even have to do an accent. Right.

[Maggie Winters]

Got it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Game. Got it.

[Maggie Winters]

That is, I will say, like, she contributed something that. Well, it's like that. That's the. One of the most beautiful things we could ever get.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, she's got so many highlights. Yeah. Quite literally stupid that.

[Maggie Winters]

Let's get out of here. Cut the camera. All right. Highlights.

[Grace O'Malley]

Literally, I'm sitting here going, no, I just want to real quick read this so I can just get it off my chest. Sometimes I'll just wake up and I'll. I'll get a DM like this. I actually like you, but I need to get this off my flat chest. I want to be very kind when I say this shit. Can we agree the Boston accent is generally the most atrocious dog water accent on the fucking planet? I'm not fucking with you. It actually makes me want to drive to Pennsylvania, go to Walmart and buy a fucking gun. I don't know what to do here. I want to move the needle, but there doesn't seem to be an opportunity for me, and it's upsetting for me. And then she unfollowed me, so I blocked her.

[Maggie Winters]

I thought you were going to bring this up. I sent you one message. It's not, I want to go to Pennsylvania and buy a gun. I mean, that person is definitely on drugs, right?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's every day, bro. I say we need to stop.

[Maggie Winters]

Get it? We need to stop.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. That's why I'm bricked up right now.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, I love my brick. I love being bricked.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's my first day.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, welcome. First day out, honey.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm bricked up 47 minutes in. Feeling a little itchy.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, you better go. Hours and hours. Someone will send you a tick tock or. And you'll be like, I'm.

[Grace O'Malley]

Can you see that?

[Maggie Winters]

What?

[Grace O'Malley]

Can you see the notification if someone sends you a ticket?

[Maggie Winters]

No, like, if they like, text.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, and text.

[Maggie Winters]

But you can. If you click it. You can't. And I just respond, I'm bricked up. I am bricked up.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think that's the only reason I bought it is because you could say, I'm bricked up right now.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes. It feels. You feel free because you're like, I can control it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. It's really good. I need it. When did you get yours?

[Maggie Winters]

Like, a couple months ago.

[Grace O'Malley]

How'd you find out about it? I just found out. I feel so lame.

[Maggie Winters]

No, I was on my phone non stop, and then I'd get one little D or one little, like, comment that was just like, I don't like your shoes. And I'm like, I'm gonna. I'm suicidal. And then it's like, I was like, I need to be off this. Every video I get is like, God bless you. What was that? It was like a woman being like a demon did come out of me, I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

A demon Twink.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, who's to say? And a redhead. Sorry. A A Like every video is just like, you shouldn't be online ever. It's broad in your brain. And I'm like, okay. Like, let me try.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And did you feel free?

[Maggie Winters]

I do feel free.

[Grace O'Malley]

So you're here. You're here on a technical vacation.

[Maggie Winters]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

Trip.

[Maggie Winters]

Work trip. Yeah. To work trip.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you bring your brick?

[Maggie Winters]

No, I. And I kind of wish I did, but I am so busy doing things that it's like almost, you know.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's good. Yeah, that is good.

[Maggie Winters]

And I was overwhelmed because people were being very nice to me because I, like, did certain things and they were like, you know, people message you and I love that you vape on your pod.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, sorry.

[Maggie Winters]

No. Are they. Do they see it?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

Them no. Good. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

If you want to vape. I don't know. If you do that, I open up the beer. I'm like, all right, well, finally,

[Maggie Winters]

someone should have said something.

[Grace O'Malley]

Shooting up on a Tuesday, baby.

[Maggie Winters]

I do feel like when I drink this water that I. I don't know

[Grace O'Malley]

what day it is. Thursday.

[Maggie Winters]

Thursday. I feel like I'm doing the arm thing when I'm drinking this water.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. It's like, cheers it with your boys.

[Maggie Winters]

Come on, boys.

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[Maggie Winters]

power.

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[Grace O'Malley]

All right. So, Margaret.

[Maggie Winters]

Marguerite.

[Grace O'Malley]

Marguerite.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Did I say it wrong the first time you said.

[Maggie Winters]

Margaret. Oh, the first time you said. No, he's. The first time you said it right.

[Grace O'Malley]

I said it right because I was looking at a piece of paper.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. See, I'm a big dum. Dum clown. Never get in a role.

[Maggie Winters]

Failing podcast I auditioned for. Did you. Failing? No. This episode, we're about to bring it back up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't say that with. With a guy.

[Maggie Winters]

No, you're not failing. I started a podcast and insult. You had to come on. And it's.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I would love to come on.

[Maggie Winters]

It's so funny. I'm like, is anyone listening to this?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. No. It's crazy. You're just, like, yelling to it into a void, screaming. It's like, is there anybody out there?

[Maggie Winters]

Is it. Have you. I was gonna sing. Do you wanna build a snowman? Do you wanna build a snow. Have you ever had a guest on that? Doesn't follow you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, of course.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm getting pissed off about that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, you gotta let it go.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

You gotta let it go. I. I used to do some. A lot of the times if. If it was still there, you could look back. But on the other podcast I did, sometimes people would just look at Brianna. They would just look at Brianna the whole time, and I would just be like, hmm.

[Maggie Winters]

So this is the sound engineer. Who is this? Where's your mixing board?

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you need a water mist?

[Maggie Winters]

That is so sick.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it was like. It would happen quite often to the point where it happened, like, really hard. One time where I was just like, show up. I just, like, made it like a joke because it was getting so crazy. I was like, so you are. You make TikTok dances. All right, I'll shut up.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay. Charlie. No, I'm kidding. She would never.

[Grace O'Malley]

We could never get.

[Maggie Winters]

We could never get Charli d'. Amelio. Charlie, if you wanna be on my podcast, dm.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's like, DM me, Mama.

[Maggie Winters]

Mama. We'll call you Mama the whole time. Yeah, I'm actually. I just decided I'm gonna be like. I'm gonna sit on the couch, like, for every episode now. Yeah. Like, what's his name on. Jimmy Fallon? Is it Jimmy Fallon? Jimmy Kimmel.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everybody has one. Andy Richter, Guillermo. And put some respect on my boy Higgins.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, Steve.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, yeah. Snl friends with his son. I know his son, too. Don't think I don't know his son.

[Grace O'Malley]

The younger one.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, I know the other one and his wife.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's sweet.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Very talented, that woman.

[Maggie Winters]

Very talented, both of them. Really?

[Grace O'Malley]

All three of them. You guys, they bring these Nepo babies, let me tell you.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, if I was Nepo, I wouldn't be here.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, that's an absolute.

[Maggie Winters]

Actually I would be on Broadway.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is that the dream?

[Maggie Winters]

No. That's why I'd be. That's why I'd be interesting. I do love music. I'm a theater kid. Of course.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, what's your favorite?

[Maggie Winters]

Everything bad I am. Like, any.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everything bad I am.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. Anything that's like, any sort of culture that's like, cringe. It's like. I'm like, yes. Give me a minute.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, that's awesome.

[Maggie Winters]

I know. I love it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I hate the word cringe. I hate that anyone even uses the word. Oh. It's. Oh, it's fucking lame to want success and be cool.

[Maggie Winters]

No, I want success and I want to also listen to musicals.

[Grace O'Malley]

And what's your favorite?

[Maggie Winters]

I really do love Legally Blonde, the musical.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Maggie Winters]

I really. I do love the last five years. It's like all musicals. I'm like, I'm crying, I'm sobbing. I'm loving it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Did you have a chance to see Sunset Boulevard?

[Maggie Winters]

Sunset Boulevard, of course. And when they took the camera outside, I'm screaming, oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was the coolest thing ever.

[Maggie Winters]

He's outside.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like. It's like, this is live right now in action. Different every night.

[Maggie Winters]

And then the people that are outside going, like, what's going on? Like, you're loving them.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is this. What would you do? I'm John Canon,

[Maggie Winters]

honey. I am always like, am I going to be on that?

[Grace O'Malley]

I think that's why you should live your life as a good person.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think.

[Maggie Winters]

Don't test me right now, though.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm at any chance. Come on out, John.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, this is actually.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's not.

[Maggie Winters]

John, you've been mean to Grace a lot.

[Grace O'Malley]

Who hasn't?

[Maggie Winters]

Do you do potty humor at all?

[Grace O'Malley]

Potty? Like poo poo kaka? I don't really.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm not. I just feel like I was. And I'm not, like, shitty. Not like there's certain girls. Like, I just am not one of those. It's like, I gotta go take a shit now. Like, I don't have that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I'm saying things like, I just gotta go take a piss real quick. But not thinking it's funny. I just, like.

[Maggie Winters]

I talk genuine dumbass. Yeah, I got to take a piss.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, the other day, the. The bar had closed. We're outside waiting for a car with my mother, and I knock on the door. I go, okay, excuse me, can I come back in? I got to take a piss. Hammered. Absolutely hammered. They're like, sure, I guess. And I'm like, thank you so Much. I feel so much better.

[Maggie Winters]

That rocks.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, but what a gross girl.

[Maggie Winters]

You have to be, though. Come on.

[Grace O'Malley]

I mean, dude. And then when it. When. When you've been holding in for too long and it feels good, that's a little weird. That's a little.

[Maggie Winters]

Feels good to be or feels good to hold it.

[Grace O'Malley]

It feels good coming out.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, yeah, of course.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like a sweet release.

[Maggie Winters]

One of the best feelings is when it's like pouring rain. You have to pee, you're cold, you're wet, you get inside, you pee, and then you put on warm clothes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, my God, that's so great. And then for some reason, there's someone in the kitchen making hot coke. Oh, my God.

[Maggie Winters]

And a big sandwich. Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's it go to? Sangi.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. I. I mean, I will say go to Sange. Come on, let's get real today.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know you're not saying this on any of the bars. This is the juice

[Maggie Winters]

Turkey.

[Grace O'Malley]

I do think, damn. All that build up for turkey, man.

[Maggie Winters]

But I do like. I do get Gardnera on it. I do get.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's that? What are you saying?

[Maggie Winters]

I just. I actually didn't realize you guys don't know about Gardnera. It is just like a delicious. Like, you could either have it spicy or mild on a sandwich or on pizza. What's your go to food?

[Grace O'Malley]

I go to.

[Maggie Winters]

Not me interviewing you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Finally, someone gets it. Asian.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, good.

[Grace O'Malley]

I had to retire the accent, but I'll eat that every day.

[Maggie Winters]

What? Like, what dish specifically?

[Grace O'Malley]

Udon noodles.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Any. Any which way.

[Maggie Winters]

Crabber and goods. My favorite food in the world.

[Grace O'Malley]

You never had them if you haven't had them in Boston. Boston, Massachusetts. Massachusetts almost as a whole, has the best Chinese food ever.

[Maggie Winters]

My mouth ever. My jaw's on the floor. I've never had a crab rangoon in Boston.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, you have. Okay, so this is important. Now. You're gonna have to come over, okay?

[Maggie Winters]

You're gonna have to come. Yeah, I'm coming over now.

[Grace O'Malley]

What you're gonna have to do is you're gonna have to come over. You're gonna have to. Dude. And here's the thing. We. I didn't know this. I just found this out this week, okay? We drank at Chinese food restaurants. Like, we party there.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay?

[Grace O'Malley]

Nobody else does that, apparently. Like, you don't. You don't know what a Mai Tai is? Wait, come on, Come on. What about a Scorpio?

[Maggie Winters]

No, I don't know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Scorpion.

[Maggie Winters]

But I know what A Mai Tai. My Mai Tai is a delicious drink. Honey, when are you free? Right now. All right. Wait. No, I'm coming. Wait.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll check the trains.

[Maggie Winters]

When are you going home?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's April. Okay, Come on through.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm coming.

[Grace O'Malley]

Come on down. Wait. I may or may not have a show. What? You can do a show.

[Maggie Winters]

Let's do a show.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's do a show. Wait.

[Maggie Winters]

Let's get our triplet show.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, let's run that back.

[Maggie Winters]

Let's run that back.

[Grace O'Malley]

Christ have mercy.

[Maggie Winters]

Come on. Be on the lookout, guys.

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[Grace O'Malley]

I was just watching. Did you watch the tire banks document I started?

[Maggie Winters]

I need to finish it.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's out of her mind.

[Maggie Winters]

Of course.

[Grace O'Malley]

She has no remorse. She's out of her control. Really?

[Maggie Winters]

Who was scared?

[Grace O'Malley]

Who? I was petrified watching that for those poor girls. Oh, my God. Turning a white woman into Chinese. It's out of control. And not just Asian. They said Chinese.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like it's crazy.

[Maggie Winters]

Me in high school auditioning for a musical. No. Thoroughly Modern Millie. In Thoroughly Modern Millie, there's a white woman who pretends to be Chinese.

[Grace O'Malley]

Really?

[Maggie Winters]

And I auditioned for it, had to do a Chinese accent and I didn't get the part. And to this day, I'm so grateful that there's no photos of me doing that.

[Grace O'Malley]

If I'm being completely honest, I could do a very amazing Asian accent.

[Maggie Winters]

And we'll cut that right away.

[Grace O'Malley]

I can't. I could. I could do it really good. But I had to retire it because of course I'm a grown learned woman who knows that's wrong. But Tyra, she doesn't see anything wrong with it.

[Maggie Winters]

She didn't see anything wrong with it.

[Grace O'Malley]

No. And she had this photographer on Nigel. And when we came to New York one time, my mom used to love to go to like the Today show, the morning show, and he taught Me how to smize.

[Maggie Winters]

Wait, I met Nigel, too.

[Grace O'Malley]

No shit.

[Maggie Winters]

He kissed me on the cheek for a photo.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. That little flirt.

[Maggie Winters]

I know. We hooked up. No, I was kidding.

[Grace O'Malley]

Married with kids. That guy is after.

[Maggie Winters]

So how did. Let me see the smize. That's perfect. Zoom in on that. Can you do that? You want to be on top?

[Grace O'Malley]

Give me nothing.

[Maggie Winters]

It was during. It was during work. I remember they were, like, nine, I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like war. It was during the war.

[Maggie Winters]

During the war. I was serving in the war. I'm a veteran.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank you for your service.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank you. Oh, God. There's no way I could do any of that stuff. I'm still.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm still. You talk about you think you're older than me and for.

[Maggie Winters]

I don't think. I know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, okay, whatever. But I will say because of that, you are no longer in the running for the draft. I just found out I have a couple more years in me.

[Maggie Winters]

Are you serious?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Maggie Winters]

What does it go until?

[Grace O'Malley]

I guess it goes till 30. Is that correct? Nora? What's the draft go till? Please help. Oh.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dodged it. Dodged it by a year.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, I was like. I was gonna say 30 is like. That's too.

[Grace O'Malley]

Go yourself. My sister's going to war. Don't you feel bad for me?

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna miss my sister so much. Who's gonna be Maggie? What the.

[Maggie Winters]

I didn't realize.

[Grace O'Malley]

And my other sisters. I have three more sisters.

[Maggie Winters]

They're all growing more.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. That's so crazy. One of them's named Maggie. Can you be my new sister?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, I'll just step in for Maggie. Is she the lesbian?

[Grace O'Malley]

No, not yet. She does go to cadet school, though.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

Damn. They'll send you a care package. What do you like?

[Grace O'Malley]

Raisin Brown. She's a huge Raisin Bran Crunch girl.

[Maggie Winters]

Are you serious?

[Grace O'Malley]

In the mail with Raisin Bran Crunch to add. Dip it in.

[Maggie Winters]

You're not getting Raisin Bran. You're getting. You're getting Reese's.

[Grace O'Malley]

Send you heroin.

[Maggie Winters]

Now I have to figure out where to get heroin. This is, like, a long time.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is crazy. Well, it's very. It's easy.

[Maggie Winters]

It's easy. Don't tell me that. You're scaring me. I'm sure of it the way that I. I have. I really only do gummies and mushrooms and my mushrooms. I'm ordering from, like, a website. That's like.

[Grace O'Malley]

You order them from a website? No, Maggie. No, Maggie. No.

[Maggie Winters]

It's good. They're good. You feel like.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

You send your id.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. So those are government grade mushrooms. They're taking your information.

[Maggie Winters]

So the website just says lion's mane. It's like. I'm not gonna say what it is. No, no, that's what the website says. Okay. And then you, like, get a code and then they text you, and then it's like, you know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, that sounds legit.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm getting scammed, aren't I?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. Is it?

[Maggie Winters]

What? Philo. I know this.

[Grace O'Malley]

There's websites out there. Actually, I forgot.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, there is. Okay. The word you just said, I was thinking of the dough.

[Grace O'Malley]

The Pillsbury Doughboy.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you think that's what I look like? No.

[Maggie Winters]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

So you met Nigel.

[Maggie Winters]

I met Nigel.

[Grace O'Malley]

He kissed you on the cheek.

[Maggie Winters]

We took a photo. And then I posted it on my Facebook, of course. Got some likes. It was like during lunch during my corporate job. And I will say, this is when I was like 24. I dressed so poorly because I was like, in the mindset where I was like, oh, like bigger girl. Like, I can't dress until I lose weight. And then when I was like, isn't

[Grace O'Malley]

that a crazy mindset that you get yourself stuck in?

[Maggie Winters]

And I was dressing like a 50 year old.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

I was wearing my mom's khakis at 24.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're just trying to be incognito until the day come.

[Maggie Winters]

And then when I turned 30, my friend Jack, God bless her, I always talk about this was like, hey. She held my hand. When she said it, she goes, you can actually dress better. I said, oh. So I started, that hurts.

[Grace O'Malley]

But you needed to hear it.

[Maggie Winters]

It changed my whole life. And then I started khakis at 24. I know.

[Grace O'Malley]

You shouldn't do that.

[Maggie Winters]

I was wearing baby doll dresses over leggings, which is like, this is tights and this isn't baby dolls, so don't clock me. But I, like, started just trying to be like, I could be fashion.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you could be glamour.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

As much as you want, of course.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

100%. It's just like, it takes a lot to get, like, I have to wear all fast fashion because that's the only people who have my size. Do you do Nuuly? I do do Nuuly.

[Maggie Winters]

Me too.

[Grace O'Malley]

I do Nuuly. So that's where I stay. That's where I keep my hippie in.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because I'm being good to the environment with that. But the rest is all fucking fast fashion. 100% fashion Nova. If you ever see me wearing anything It's Target or fashion Nova or Nuuly.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm always wearing Nuuly. This is Nuuly. And perfect.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because you're doing so many things shows. Yeah, it's perfect.

[Maggie Winters]

Did I DM them and ask them if they would sponsor me? Yes. Did they say no? Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

They replied and said absolutely.

[Maggie Winters]

They responded. They go, not right now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Maggie Winters]

I go, are you? I was. I was shell shocked.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm literally your number one spokesperson. You shouldn't have even said their name.

[Maggie Winters]

I do something else called Rent the Runway.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's right.

[Maggie Winters]

I will change Newly if you have 24 hours to respond. I would never.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're just gonna put it as redacted. Newly's in the Epstein files.

[Maggie Winters]

That would really. That would fuck me up. I think it's so funny. It's. Nothing about the Epstein files is funny for us.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, sorry. It said newly born. Sorry.

[Maggie Winters]

Newly born. Oh. Oh, I walk off that. Winnie the Pooh was in there. I was cracking up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Winnie the Pooh. Yeah. They like how you don't know what Pino pants.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. He wears no bands. He loves honey. I just started naming Winnie the Poofax. He has a friend.

[Grace O'Malley]

He has a buddy.

[Maggie Winters]

Let's come on up, Michaela. Come on out, Eeyore. I had an Eeyore themed birthday party once.

[Grace O'Malley]

What a bummer.

[Maggie Winters]

I know. I was like, what's going on with me in fourth grade? What?

[Grace O'Malley]

You did too? Do you mean?

[Maggie Winters]

Yes. I was like, what? I was like, I'm sad and this. He gets it. He doesn't. And the thing that pisses me off is like, he doesn't have a house and it's always falling down. And his friends are like, all right, good luck.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. No, that's actually really fucked up. Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

They're like, good luck.

[Grace O'Malley]

They always have to go way out to go get them.

[Maggie Winters]

Right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Am I wrong? That's actually pretty fucked up. Have you ever been on the Winnie the Pooh ride of.

[Maggie Winters]

Come on, I'm a Disney doll.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Maggie Winters]

Pretty fucked up when it all seems like, what are those things called?

[Grace O'Malley]

Animatronics.

[Maggie Winters]

Like, you know. No, the room with like the. It's like. They're not. They're called like snuffle puffs or something crazy like that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I don't know the terminology, but those bastards are fucked up.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

They are freaky. And I thought it be fun one time to do shrooms at Disney.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, I did it too. Did I blow my nose really quick?

[Grace O'Malley]

But don't. I like the Way you're saying it. Heffalumps.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay. Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Heffalumps.

[Maggie Winters]

Heffalumps.

[Grace O'Malley]

What you call me?

[Maggie Winters]

Sorry. Sorry about that. Every time I get pissed off, I'm going to just do a little note. It's on my leg. You owe me 500.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's your scribe?

[Maggie Winters]

That's my scribe.

[Grace O'Malley]

I like my left knee.

[Maggie Winters]

My left knee. Oh, my God. I mean, in school, did you ever.

[Grace O'Malley]

Did you.

[Maggie Winters]

Did you go to Catholic high school?

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't. I went to. I went to the after school program

[Maggie Winters]

to learn about God. Oh, you. Okay. I did CCD for grade school. Okay. And my mom was a teacher at one point. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, my mom was a teacher for my sisters. And she was like, I don't know.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, she barely goes to church.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, she was like, I don't know. Get the kids candy.

[Maggie Winters]

That's exactly what my mom. We have the same. Oh, wait, we have the same mom. I forgot. What's your mom's name?

[Grace O'Malley]

Nancy.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, Carrie is my mom.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. Both mom's names, though.

[Maggie Winters]

Carrie.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like 100% K E R R Y.

[Maggie Winters]

My mom's last name, her maiden name is Diana. So people are always like, is it Diana or is it Carrie?

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, is it Princess?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. Princess of Genovese.

[Grace O'Malley]

How would you like me to address you, Princess?

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. And my dad's name? Willie Winters.

[Grace O'Malley]

Willie Winters.

[Maggie Winters]

Isn't that an amazing name?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's the best name. That's a stage name.

[Maggie Winters]

Willie Winters.

[Grace O'Malley]

Blue and Willie Winters.

[Maggie Winters]

Nice to meet you. And he was born William, but he doesn't like to be called William. And that pisses him off if you say it.

[Grace O'Malley]

So. Do you ever call him William? And you're fucking jazzed at him.

[Maggie Winters]

I know. I should, though.

[Grace O'Malley]

You should.

[Maggie Winters]

I do challenge him a lot. He doesn't like it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Me.

[Maggie Winters]

That's like me running away when I was younger. I'm like, I'm leaving. I'm never coming back. Starving. I gotta come back for dinner.

[Grace O'Malley]

When? How. Wait, how many times did you run away?

[Maggie Winters]

Like, twice. And I would, like, pack a bag and my parents love to be like, how old? Like, you know, six, seven.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Maggie Winters]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

You can leave whenever you want.

[Maggie Winters]

I did that to myself the second I said it. I was like, did anyone notice?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like. It's like a big alarm goes off and confetti comes in.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like you said it. We got it, girl.

[Maggie Winters]

I truly. I. Yeah. Did you ever run away?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. But my. My friend, the first thing that comes to my head is my friend. Dad said that she was gonna have to go live with her grandparents because I'm such a bad influence on her.

[Maggie Winters]

And what were you teaching her about alcohol?

[Grace O'Malley]

Just, like, being cool. Yeah, like that ass, like, come on, my parents, like, let's. Let's do this. Like, they drink every day. We can drink. Yeah, come on.

[Maggie Winters]

And, like, I just.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know, I was putting bad ideations in her head. And so he said she was gonna go live with her grandparents. I went home. He sent me home. I cried in the garage. I paced back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and go, fuck this. And I walk over, back to the house, knock on the door, and I go, you cannot take my friend away from me. And I start bawling my eyes up. I'm like, she doesn't deserve this. You can say that. I can't hang out with her. That's fine. But don't make her move off to Maine where there are grandparents. That's crazy. He goes, grace, I was just kidding around. Oh,

[Maggie Winters]

Grace, call a joke. You're gonna learn about it one day.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, like, drama is in us, you know.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, drama is born.

[Grace O'Malley]

As a kid, you know.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's just. Did you have a theme for your room?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, well, when I was, like, little, little, it was Beauty and the Beast. And then unfortunately, when I went to high school or like, probably eighth grade, it was purple.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then it stays purple forever.

[Maggie Winters]

Well, no, my parents changed it. Now it's, like, boring. But I did the thing where I was like, purple walls, purple bed sheets, purple comforter, purple beanbag.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, purple girl.

[Maggie Winters]

I was a purple girl.

[Grace O'Malley]

That is so bi.

[Maggie Winters]

I know. It's so bi.

[Grace O'Malley]

So bi.

[Maggie Winters]

The other day in my group chat, my friends were like, whose favorite color was purple? Like, purple girls were so weird. And then I come in the chat, I was like, I was a purple girl. And everyone's like, a fucking course you were.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then you show. You show your whole room. Yes.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So that was my palette.

[Maggie Winters]

Purple girl. Yeah. Lavender. Come on. That's. That's a chic color now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it really is. Okay, now let's talk about the special.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. We don't have to. Don't watch it. Don't watch it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Trust me, we do. Come on. I mean. So is this your first special?

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is a fudgeing huge deal.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Awesome.

[Maggie Winters]

It's. And it's. It's. I call it a solo show because I do stand up storytelling and, like. And it's videos in it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, no.

[Maggie Winters]

And I didn't want people to be like, this is not just stand up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I hate when people fucking do that shit. It's like, no, this is my special thing.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm doing my own thing.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's literally called a special. It's special to me.

[Maggie Winters]

That's what it is. Special to me. It's about me. It was produced by Absolutely. You know that. Absolutely.

[Grace O'Malley]

I should.

[Maggie Winters]

You probably seen. No, they do a lot of, like, Nathan Field or stuff. It's Tim and Eric.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

They approached me to do it and I was, like, blown away. And then I filmed it at UCB in la. Why there? Because Absolutely and UCB have a partnership.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Maggie Winters]

What if I was like, I don't

[Grace O'Malley]

know, what about UCB New York?

[Maggie Winters]

That was. That was a decision to make. And I went with la. I can't really remember why. I think because Absolutely is in la and they were like, it's easier for us.

[Grace O'Malley]

Gotcha.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay. And then my brothers directed it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, no.

[Maggie Winters]

My two older brothers.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wait, that's awesome.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wait, so what does that entail?

[Maggie Winters]

Just, like, telling me what was bad and what, you know, like, we. We wrote some stuff together and they'd be like, okay, like, this doesn't really make sense. Like, change this, make this. And they're not afraid to tell me. You obviously, with siblings, like, they were just. They'd be like, this sucks. I'd be like, all right, well, you, You.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, no, I never take it well,

[Maggie Winters]

but I need to hear it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, of course.

[Maggie Winters]

Sorry. Yeah, it's. I'm excited to, like, have it out in the world.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's so awesome.

[Maggie Winters]

I can't wait to get my first hate comment. I'm.

[Grace O'Malley]

Ah, now weddings.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm engaged.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, come on up.

[Maggie Winters]

Come on up, honey. No, I'm. No, no, no, no.

[Grace O'Malley]

So I feel like. I feel like weddings are in the news right now.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

People are talking about if they're cringy, if they're weird. We're all kind of taking a step back, kind of being like, what are we doing?

[Maggie Winters]

They're so expensive.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're so expensive. Have you ever been to a wedding where you fully loved your time there?

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's good.

[Maggie Winters]

But you will.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like, if I don't know why I'm asking.

[Maggie Winters]

Have you ever been to wedding where you liked it?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like, I've been to one and I fully enjoyed myself. I don't know what I'm talking about.

[Maggie Winters]

I have been to a bunch because I, like, all my friends got married, you know, in our early 30s. And my brother's weddings, I.

[Grace O'Malley]

How many are still together?

[Maggie Winters]

All of them. But I'm wait. You know, I'm kind of waiting, like, what's. So, who's gonna be first?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'll just slide right on that.

[Maggie Winters]

Sometimes they say things that their husbands do, and I'm like, you don't have to be. You don't have to do that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, no, you don't have to be there. You gotta put the squash on that.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. But then they're looking at me and they're like, you live with your parents. I'm like, yeah, that's fine.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. But I got a special coming out, you dumb bitch.

[Maggie Winters]

I got a special.

[Grace O'Malley]

And your husband doesn't even think you are special.

[Maggie Winters]

O. Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Burn ass.

[Maggie Winters]

I will say, some of the. Some of the boys are sweeties. They're buying me drinks.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's good.

[Maggie Winters]

Having fun.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. It's nice when you get along with them. Yes, that is important.

[Maggie Winters]

Well, there is. There's an age where, like, your friend just is dating someone at 30, and then they're like, oh, I'm gonna marry them. And you're. You can't be like, please, no.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

Unless. Unless you have a very valid reason. You kind of like, I just don't like them. Doesn't work.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. You can't do that.

[Maggie Winters]

And then you're at the wedding and you're like, oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

Who doing it. Good job.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna have to write a fictional speech.

[Maggie Winters]

Would you get married?

[Grace O'Malley]

Potentially, yeah. No, but I don't. It's never really. Kids in marriage has never really been, like, my thang.

[Maggie Winters]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, since I was a young girl.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I've never just, like, thought that was cool.

[Maggie Winters]

Motherhood has never been my thing. I was like. I was always like, I just. I love my niece. I love my nephews. Stop there.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what I'm saying. Like, you can be the best, coolest auntie in the world, and you only see them every once in a while. And then when you come to town, you are.

[Maggie Winters]

God. I'm showing up with gifts. I'm bringing them out for crab rangoons. They don't eat that yet.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. Bring those kids to Boston John Kahunas.

[Maggie Winters]

They would love it.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's the name of the guy who gets his. Who gets his. Chris Hansen.

[Maggie Winters]

Chris Hansen, yeah. Oh, because to Catch a Predator.

[Grace O'Malley]

To catch a predator, you gotta bring the kids. You gotta bring the kids.

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[Grace O'Malley]

you did Second City. Okay, nevermind. Fuck this.

[Maggie Winters]

No, I did. I did.

[Grace O'Malley]

Too dumb.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm like, no, I did do that.

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't have a whole game for that.

[Maggie Winters]

No. Oh, do you really?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's okay. It's fine.

[Maggie Winters]

No, I did classes there.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, cool.

[Maggie Winters]

What? Oh, is it like trivia?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like improv?

[Maggie Winters]

No, I love improv. Oh, I did improv Olympic. No, no, no, no. I did improv. I did improv Olympics. Second City was kind of. They hated me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, why?

[Maggie Winters]

They said you're too funny. Get out of here. Oh, no, no, I just didn't really like. I don't know, I just did I.O. which is like down the block. And that's where like, you know her. Tina Fey IO ao? No.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, stupid.

[Maggie Winters]

I throw this pillow.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would suffocate myself.

[Maggie Winters]

No. Yeah. Improv Olympic. You never heard of that?

[Grace O'Malley]

No.

[Maggie Winters]

Sharna Halpern, she was the. She has two little white dogs. That's all I can say about that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Important to know.

[Maggie Winters]

Wait, what's the game? We play it an hour later.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's just do it.

[Maggie Winters]

I love improv.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's do it up.

[Maggie Winters]

Do you like improv?

[Grace O'Malley]

I love improv, but I got kicked out of my improv group for wearing A bag of hat, so.

[Maggie Winters]

A what hat? Maga.

[Grace O'Malley]

I have a MAGA past. I wore MAGA hat on Instagram.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. We had an election theme party, and we were seniors in high school, and we went to Spencer's, and that was the only thing that they had. And we wore it and we. And we posted it, and we didn't

[Maggie Winters]

know it wasn't politics. It was, like, for a party.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was for a party. It was for a gag. It was like. And. But I seriously and truly didn't know anything about anything. Yeah, I just had my dad in my ear. My dad said, if you don't vote for him, you're gonna get kicked out of the house. I'm at the ballot.

[Maggie Winters]

You don't vote for him. I'm not. You're. I'm not gonna call you. You're gonna call me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And like. And if only I knew, like, where we stand now, me and my father, like, I wouldn't even give a shit. You know what I mean? So good to get that off my chest every once in a while, because they try to recirculate that picture, and it's like, that's not me. People change.

[Maggie Winters]

Grace o'. Malley, maga.

[Grace O'Malley]

Has a good ring to it.

[Maggie Winters]

Cut that clip. That. It does. What about. What if I was Maga? Maggie.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's my sister.

[Maggie Winters]

She's like that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, she's MAGA Maggie.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Some people don't change.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, that's true.

[Grace O'Malley]

Some people don't change.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm Joe Biden. Maggie.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm Grace. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

[Maggie Winters]

Bernie Sanders. That's my guy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Maggie. Bernie.

[Maggie Winters]

Maggie, Bernie. Maggie.

[Grace O'Malley]

Bernie Winters.

[Maggie Winters]

That's. I'm engaged. Is that drugs in that vape? And it's coming over to me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Good morning.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay. What. What are you doing?

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, sorry about that. This Second City in a second.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's the name of the game. That's fun, Nora. I like that. As a woman. Well, as a woman of the famous Chicago bred, Second City, give or take. We're gonna do a little improv.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. I already said that guy. I guess in this bowl are a bunch of random settings and one character description.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

That person will then tell you what they want your character to be. Opposite. Can you explain this? Okay, so you're gonna pull a character in a setting.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then you'll read the character and you're like, okay. So you have to be this person

[Maggie Winters]

in this setting, and then I'm improvising.

[Grace O'Malley]

Ooh. These are elaborate, which is good. I like that. Thank you. The setting is a destination wedding.

[Maggie Winters]

Perfect.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's a welcome dinner in Barbados.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Everybody is seated based on how well they know the couple getting married.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. My character is a hinged date of the best man. This was your first time meeting said man because you're trying to say yes to more things lately.

[Maggie Winters]

Nice.

[Grace O'Malley]

He paid for your flight and hotel in Barbados as you said you want to go to because you love Rihanna. We have never met the bride or groom, nor. Oh, you have never met the bride or groom, nor do you know who they are. You just want to meet Rihanna. Okay. Okay. I want to have you come in whenever you feel ready. But you are Rihanna.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay. Oh,

[Grace O'Malley]

yes. Yeah. This is fun. And. But like, I don't know, like, I've been like, dying my whole life to come to Barbados and like, I don't know, I just feel like. Can you kiss me? Awesome.

[Maggie Winters]

Does anyone have a lighter?

[Grace O'Malley]

Shut the up.

[Maggie Winters]

What?

[Grace O'Malley]

Shut your pants.

[Maggie Winters]

That bug on me shine bright like a diamond.

[Grace O'Malley]

Security.

[Maggie Winters]

Security. I told you this is gonna happen. I told you I wasn't gonna come to this wedding because people were gonna sing my songs at me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just shut up and down. Is that a gun in central station security in front of a big old crowd?

[Maggie Winters]

You went full Michael Scott.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, Yeah. I just. I. You say full Meg.

[Maggie Winters]

Thee stallion.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, Michael Scott.

[Maggie Winters]

Scott, honey, you went full magna St.

[Grace O'Malley]

I thought you meant because I brought a gun out. I was like, jesus.

[Maggie Winters]

No, no, Michael Scott.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, cuz she got shot in the foot.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

She was just a huge fan that wanted to kill Rihanna. In my head. I did not play that cool.

[Maggie Winters]

I almost got up, but then I was too lazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, I. I was. I was. I was getting close to this. To God.

[Maggie Winters]

Were you really crushed? Oh, I do want to know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yes. This is a fun episode. I really like it.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank God. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's also great to see you.

[Maggie Winters]

It's so nice to see you. I need to. When I can capture you a first date in a highly rated, dimly lit restaurant. The reservation took three months to get and the food is supposed to be Michelin level. The weather was torrential on the way in. Okay. Character person who did not book the reservation and is incredibly nervous for the first date. They have a gut feeling that there is going to be an earthquake. They're about to go and they're about to freak you Friday. So I am someone on the first date. I feel like you should maybe be the server. My date's not here yet. Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Maggie Winters]

I think I'LL just do the Clams Casino. The Clams. Is that a drink?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, it's a lot of clam. It's clam juice. Margarita.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm sorry.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is Michelin. Do you understand?

[Maggie Winters]

I'm freaking out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, why?

[Maggie Winters]

Because I think that there's gonna be an earthquake.

[Grace O'Malley]

Verbatim.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, I think there's gonna be an earthquake. I'm getting a really bad feeling.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nobody knows when the earthquakes come. Just. What if the Clams Casino and suck that down.

[Maggie Winters]

What if I'm sucking it down and I choke on it and because of the earthquake and I die?

[Grace O'Malley]

I have the Heimlich remover. It's in the back. The Heimlich remover. It's in the back.

[Maggie Winters]

How long have you worked here?

[Grace O'Malley]

You're not allowed to touch anyone here at this restaurant anymore. I know. Which am I? A witch?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. You're wearing a big hat, like from Elphaba. From Wicked.

[Grace O'Malley]

Are you hallucinating, ma'?

[Maggie Winters]

Am? No. I haven't even had the Clams Casino yet.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, no, no. That's just a minor hallucinogenic.

[Maggie Winters]

My date is on the way.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, is he handsome? Bald? Yes, he's handsome and bald.

[Maggie Winters]

He's handsome and bald.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, well, what's he gonna do when this earthquake happens? I heard bald men go under.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. I knew this was gonna happen. The love of my life is gonna die in front of me tonight.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, wow.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, I'm eating Clams Casino.

[Grace O'Malley]

Drinking, drinking claims.

[Maggie Winters]

Casino.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's so good. Oh, should I go and get it for you? Yeah, on the way.

[Maggie Winters]

Two.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Paul.

[Maggie Winters]

Who's Paul?

[Grace O'Malley]

He's the bartender, you dumbass.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's. Sorry, I'm not allowed to yell. That's my date anymore. Oh, that is not Paul. Bald guys all look alike. My apologies. I'll go get the clamps.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, Jesus. Are you transatlantic?

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm not trans.

[Maggie Winters]

I said transatlantic.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's your date.

[Maggie Winters]

Are you. You're not transatlantic.

[Grace O'Malley]

Born in the 60s. I don't know if that matters. I'll go get the clams scene.

[Maggie Winters]

Amazing. That was perfect. That was amazing. I did say, are you trans? And I meant to say trans.

[Grace O'Malley]

I am not trans. I got so defensive.

[Maggie Winters]

Are you trans?

[Grace O'Malley]

It's definitely a trans woman you were speaking to. Yes. She got very upset.

[Maggie Winters]

This is. This is perfect in every way.

[Grace O'Malley]

Setting a luxury apartment building, open house. There are cucumber waters. A real estate agency.

[Maggie Winters]

No one's gonna tell me about this.

[Grace O'Malley]

A real estate agent saying phrases like cohesive flooring and paneling Everyone is taking notes and photos and keeping quiet character. Someone who cannot afford this building but is touring just to see what's out there and is overcompensating, keeps explaining to everyone that they should get in on Kalshi one of their many incomes. Explaining how you won the fantasy football pot and it should be coming in any day now. The view could be better.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Now, would you like to be the real estate agent for me, please? Thank you. It's nice. It's nice. View could be better, though. How much is this shit?

[Maggie Winters]

If this is going to be a 1.2 million, the flooring is going to be plastic, which is huge right now.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Maggie Winters]

People are loving it.

[Grace O'Malley]

As a millennial myself, that is my favorite floor.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

That is my favorite floor.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank you so much.

[Grace O'Malley]

I grew up on that. Being changed in and out.

[Maggie Winters]

Plastic.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm plastic. I got the plastic. That's how I'm gonna buy this thing. You gotta get in on Calchi.

[Maggie Winters]

What did you say?

[Grace O'Malley]

Now? Now what's happening for me is I'm kind of rolling in it at this point.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my cookies are burning. Oh, I made cookies.

[Grace O'Malley]

A lot of predictions in for, let's just say the Oscars and all of politics. Hope Iran's doing good.

[Maggie Winters]

Are you in the right mindset?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, I got my mindset right because I did an ice bath this morning.

[Maggie Winters]

Are you? Oh, okay. Those are good.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie Winters]

There is a bathtub upstairs.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, does it leak?

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Perfect.

[Maggie Winters]

It leaks, but it leaks down into the fridge into. You get water from it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Now, that's fancy. Yeah, that's fancy. I always been fancy. My whole life. You hear that, Rachel? I'm pretty sure that woman's name is Rachel. She's been so quiet.

[Maggie Winters]

That's a dog. Ma'.

[Grace O'Malley]

Am. Oh, God. I'm a lady. I'm a lady.

[Maggie Winters]

I said ma'. Am.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. I couldn't believe with this voice. I'm a lady, man. Good grief. Charlie Brown. Good God, man. Many, many people are saying that I'm gonna probably win my fantasy football.

[Maggie Winters]

That's amazing to hear. There's actually a football field in the backyard.

[Grace O'Malley]

No shit.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes. And it is part of the house. And this is actually a dream come true. I gotta be honest, you're the only person that's come through today.

[Grace O'Malley]

Is that correct?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because this. This baby boy is mine. This home, it's a child.

[Maggie Winters]

You have 1.2.

[Grace O'Malley]

What?

[Maggie Winters]

You have 1.2 million followers on TikTok. That does translate into dollars.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes, yes. Followers is currency.

[Maggie Winters]

Are you being followed. Yes. A ghost inside of you.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's the word? There is a ghost inside of me. Yes, of course. You're floating. I have magic sways.

[Maggie Winters]

Every character you do.

[Grace O'Malley]

Austin is like, oh, that's why I don't book roles.

[Maggie Winters]

No, it's perfect.

[Grace O'Malley]

They'd be like, oh, you're. You're a poor orphan. All right.

[Maggie Winters]

They're like, annie, Annie, Annie.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I just want to sing.

[Maggie Winters]

Is Annie from Boston?

[Grace O'Malley]

Annie's from Chicago. I'm pretty sure. No, New York.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, no, she goes to New York at some point. Nyc. Just got here this morning. During the Great Depression. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, the best time to.

[Maggie Winters]

She gets nuts on the street.

[Grace O'Malley]

She gets knifed on the street.

[Maggie Winters]

She gets nuts. She buys nuts with.

[Grace O'Malley]

She does. And she says she holds on my playoffs. I just got my nuts in my head.

[Maggie Winters]

Not you going, she got knifed on the street. That's. That's Annie, too. Knifed on the street. Why?

[Grace O'Malley]

Cuz she's black. That's really up, Maggie.

[Maggie Winters]

No, she's not always black. In every.

[Grace O'Malley]

In every movie, in every iteration.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. Just like the Little Mermaid.

[Grace O'Malley]

Still on Broadway.

[Maggie Winters]

Always on Broadway. Thanks.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, thank God. Do you think I could still play any.

[Maggie Winters]

Even in my youngest, Hannigan? Oh, little girls.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know, the older I get, the more I understand her.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, me too. I'm like, shut up, you guys.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, Seriously. She was just trying to make an income as well. She was an entrepreneur during the Great Depression.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. Giving girls a home.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Yeah. And she was a swindler. I like that.

[Maggie Winters]

She was a swindler. And she was with those two. That guy. Her, I think. Was that her brother?

[Grace O'Malley]

He's my brother. Because they were, like, kind of him.

[Maggie Winters]

Well, no, but there was a blonde girl.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, yeah, but I think she, like, really wanted them.

[Maggie Winters]

Did we watch two different Annie's? I think.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, you gotta watch it back. You haven't seen it in a while. You gotta see it from a bird's eye.

[Maggie Winters]

I was in Annie twice.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, what did you play? I was the same number three.

[Maggie Winters]

What?

[Grace O'Malley]

Orphan number three.

[Maggie Winters]

Well, no, I was the same part twice. Pepper the bully orphan.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God. Talk about typecasted.

[Maggie Winters]

Literally, like, the play starts and it's like the littlest one. Like, I'm having nightmares. And then.

[Grace O'Malley]

Pepper, shut the fuck up.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes. No, literally, shut up, Molly.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's that? Who's he?

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. You. We gotta. Okay, we gotta, like, book the role and then we both play it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Could we put on our own production?

[Maggie Winters]

Twins.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. Yes.

[Maggie Winters]

We're gonna do. Okay. We're gonna do a show in Boston afterwards. We're gonna. I have auditions for Annie, and the.

[Grace O'Malley]

The club's gonna say, you gotta leave. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Annie's just getting started.

[Maggie Winters]

Get the hot nuts rolling.

[Grace O'Malley]

My dad can play daddy.

[Maggie Winters]

Warbox is evolved. No, shave that head.

[Grace O'Malley]

Full set.

[Maggie Winters]

Call me back and shave that head, baby.

[Grace O'Malley]

Mickey, come on, Mickey. Mickey, come on. Mickey o'.

[Maggie Winters]

Malley.

[Grace O'Malley]

Come on.

[Maggie Winters]

Classic Willie Winters and Mickey o'.

[Grace O'Malley]

Malley. That's a brute. That's a. That's a brand new hit.

[Maggie Winters]

They're. They're having debates.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're on the same page.

[Maggie Winters]

Ooh, that'll be fun. Yeah, they'll have full debates.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, liberal from Chicago. Does that mean.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. Reunion town, maybe?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, my dad's a big union guy.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah, so then he shouldn't be Republican.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, he's a walking. He's a walking contradiction, this man. Truly and honestly, I don't. I don't understand him.

[Maggie Winters]

Let me get him on the phone. Let me talk to him.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, thank you. I think that should be a segment that we do never.

[Maggie Winters]

Welcome back to the segment. We're not calling my dad.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, guys. Welcome back to. Yeah. And we're done. Thank you. And we'll do one more.

[Maggie Winters]

Fuck it. Why not?

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's have a little fun. Who went last?

[Maggie Winters]

You.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So sorry.

[Maggie Winters]

A baby shower themed. Buzzing with excitement. Be themed. The woman who was pregnant does not know who the father is and is super excited to raise the baby with the help of her friends and family. She is waiting to find out the gender until the baby is born. The character, a friend of the pregnant woman's grandmother. She seems to be losing it a bit and can't understand what kind of party this is. She keeps saying all the wrong things and has lost her purse. I feel like you have to be that character, and I'll be the pregnant woman.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right.

[Maggie Winters]

Okay, the next gift is.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, now, why do you have so many gifts?

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, it's for the baby. Who? The baby.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I just thought you were getting big.

[Maggie Winters]

Diane, what do you need? Are you okay? Do you need coffee or something?

[Grace O'Malley]

Cough medicine?

[Maggie Winters]

Coffee? I feel a little loopy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Took a little too much.

[Maggie Winters]

Can we get Diane a coffee? Coffee, Diane, you gave. You brought this gift. It says your name on it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Black.

[Maggie Winters]

You brought this. It says your name on it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Diane.

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah. No, it says, from Diane Keaton. Oh, she died. Baby coffee, Black. It's a toaster.

[Grace O'Malley]

Put it in the tub.

[Maggie Winters]

What?

[Grace O'Malley]

Diane, take that. You put it in the Tub.

[Maggie Winters]

That's how you die.

[Grace O'Malley]

Double homicide. Guys, I'm kind of on fire today.

[Maggie Winters]

Second City. Call her now. Guys, I'm a little bit on fire today.

[Grace O'Malley]

Guys. We should record earlier in the morning.

[Maggie Winters]

Call her now. They are losing their minds for that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sorry, I couldn't keep it together. That was awesome on my part.

[Maggie Winters]

That was perfect.

[Grace O'Malley]

I never give it to myself.

[Maggie Winters]

When I said toaster and you said, put it in the bathtub. Scene, scene. I never even got to say who the baby daddy was.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, we get back into it.

[Maggie Winters]

Diane, I think it might be your son.

[Grace O'Malley]

My Jimmy?

[Maggie Winters]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

He didn't put a Jimmy on scene.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I can only talk transatlantic. Yeah. Because it's the only accent I can say anymore.

[Maggie Winters]

Can I give you a shout out for? I. I was like, can I have a water? No one's ever given me water this big, like, in the best way.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I want to know why. Because our water come out poo. Poo brown.

[Maggie Winters]

No. I mean, even if I got a bottle, they give you the short ones. You're like, okay, I guess I'll have one sip of water.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Dead ass, though. Yeah. That's the unwell. Perfect way.

[Maggie Winters]

Unwell.

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's. Let's just see what the cards would have said.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. Oh, these are the questions you would have asked me.

[Grace O'Malley]

You almost won five grand on that.

[Maggie Winters]

I need five grand bad. I'm not kidding.

[Grace O'Malley]

This was a Mustang.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. Read one of them.

[Grace O'Malley]

You were on the Righteous Gemstones.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes, I was.

[Grace O'Malley]

Where you play Kelvin's assistant, Taryn.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's the biggest thing you learned from that set?

[Maggie Winters]

How to act. Also, I learned that actors are treated like we are little angels. They put you in your trailer, they give you a snack. They go, are you okay? Are you okay?

[Grace O'Malley]

It is a crazy, like, switch.

[Maggie Winters]

I did learn that I love acting. And then I know. And I haven't booked since, so I'm like, okay, what's going on?

[Grace O'Malley]

That's a pretty fucking sick roll to grab.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank you. It was awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

You were fucking incredible.

[Maggie Winters]

Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was awesome.

[Maggie Winters]

I had a stunt double.

[Grace O'Malley]

You did.

[Maggie Winters]

Because I did flips.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Maggie Winters]

Shout out to her.

[Grace O'Malley]

Here I am thinking, you. You're fucking flipping around.

[Maggie Winters]

And did they put a belly on her? And I walked out. I said, all right.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Maggie Winters]

Relax with the belly. But then I guess it wouldn't have looked at me, but I was like,

[Grace O'Malley]

okay, that'll piss you off.

[Maggie Winters]

That'll piss you off.

[Grace O'Malley]

That'll piss you off.

[Maggie Winters]

Right away, I was like, oh, so this is Hollywood. But then when I first saw her, I was like, how are they? How is she gonna be me? And then I was like, oh, the belly. And then they put a wig on her. I said, that's what my hair looks like. Oh, God, this is tough. This is really tough.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, this one. So Nora already knew that your uncle is a priest and that you host family mass.

[Maggie Winters]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

Now, her question to you is, which is also mine. What's your favorite church song?

[Maggie Winters]

That's a great. You know what? I really like the one on Good Friday. Sometimes it causes me to tremble. Tremble, tremble. Were you there when they nailed him to the cross?

[Grace O'Malley]

No. Nobody was, because it wasn't real.

[Maggie Winters]

I was.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sorry.

[Maggie Winters]

I rip off my shirt. I have a huge cross tattoo.

[Grace O'Malley]

Family matters. Jesus.

[Maggie Winters]

Also, like, of course, we didn't really hear this in church, but our God is an awesome man. What was your favorite?

[Grace O'Malley]

Hosanna. Hosanna in the highest.

[Maggie Winters]

What? Hosanna.

[Grace O'Malley]

Roxanne. Roxanne. Don't you know?

[Maggie Winters]

She's on my favorite church songs. Roxanne.

[Grace O'Malley]

Now, before you storm off like a little brat, can you.

[Maggie Winters]

I'm running away.

[Grace O'Malley]

Look right into this camera. You can give real quick. First, we're gonna have you do. It's called Shout out. You just shout out to whoever, wherever, rapid fire style. And then after that, where can everyone find you? The special. All that jazz. Love you so much. Thanks for coming on.

[Maggie Winters]

Shout out to my friends. Shout out to my family. Shout out to Crab Rangoons. Shout out to my bed. Shout out to the brick. Shout out to Grace o'. Malley. Shout out to Maggie Maga. Maggie. But not really. We gotta change you, girl. Give me a call. Shout out to Mickey. Shout out to Willie. Shout out to Carrie. Shout out to Nancy. Shout out to not the government right now. Maybe later. Shout out to my special. Shout out to Comedy. Shout out to West Wilson. Shout out to Connor Wood. Shout out to my friend Jack Fucker. I name drop her on every single podcast. Shout out to Sauce.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. That was good. That was good. Finally, someone's done it, right.

[Maggie Winters]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

Every time I say do a shout out, they're like, shout out Ketchup.

[Maggie Winters]

It's like, bro, you said rapid fire. Rapid fire.

[Grace O'Malley]

You did it. Thank you.

[Maggie Winters]

I wish. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay.

[Maggie Winters]

I really do mention Nora didn't really

[Grace O'Malley]

get a shout out, but that's.

[Maggie Winters]

Oh, my God. Shadow. Nora.

[Grace O'Malley]

She texted me already.

[Maggie Winters]

She's. Shout out Nora.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's already has your foot out the door.

[Maggie Winters]

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