Not So Secret Mormon Wives w/ Demi Engemann

Thu Mar 19 2026

WELCOME GUYS!! Grace is joined by influencer, mom, and star of 'Secret Lives of Mormon Wives' Demi Engemann! Demi breaks down what Mormonism really is, the intense workload involved in being a part of MomTok, and the mental health struggles that lead her to take a step back for Season 4. Demi reveals her dreams beyond MomTok like releasing an album, acting work, and becoming a deeper advocate for mental health. They chat having and NOT having a drivers license, Demi's daily piña colada (sorta), & play More-mon or No More-mon! Have a day, much love & enjoy the show! 🎙️ Leave us a voicemail here: speakpipe.com/disgraceful Get tour tickets here: https://laylo.com/laylo-gomalley/m/ggetthemtix https://www.graceomalleycomedy.com/ Follow Demi: https://www.instagram.com/demilucymay/ https://www.tiktok.com/@demilucymay_

Transcript

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Demi Engeman (0:59)

am Demi Engeman and I am sometimes disgraceful.

Podcast Host (Grace O'Malley) (1:06)

You are now tuning in to disgraceful. Welcome back. Now, I just want to say a couple things. At the top, what I was doing before was just having comics on. Yeah, that wasn't really working. Time to pivot. And so what we're gonna do is we're gonna start having on, you know, all different walks of life today, a Mormon housewife known for mom talk and also the hit show the Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. And now this is a hit show. It happened all very fast. All those girls, they're all, they're all on Broadway. They're doing the Bachelorette and some of them are seen as the villain and some of them didn't really have a platform on season four. I met Demi on a show that we did for Unwell. It hasn't came out yet. As far as I'm concerned that this episode is coming out for now and I don't know when it's airing, but when it does, it'll make sense why we had met each other before. And I just want to kind of start off by saying I wasn't going to bring up the fact that I've never watched the show, but pretty much in the first 10 minutes, I was like, yeah, I don't know what any of this means. I had 48 hours to prep for this, this interview. And so I was able to watch some of the first season and some of the fourth season, but everything in between, I am at an absolute loss. So. So she's bringing up things that very clearly when I was watching the Fourth season, I was like, what? Why? What is hat? Why is everyone mad? And so I don't know. I don't know this, that, the other thing. And that's very apparent in this episode. But I don't know. It was a good chat. Great chat. I think I will say we did get the exclusive on some of the things that were never mentioned, so tune in for that. And one more thing before I go. I'm on tour. I'm on tour and I'm coming to a city near you, maybe. So let's. Let's see where we're off to this weekend. I am gonna be in Baltimore, Maryland, March 19th to the 21st. And then up next, it's Las Vegas, Nevada, March 27th to the 28th. April 17th to the 18th, I'll be in Nashville, Tennessee, for Nashville Comedy festival. And then April 19th, I'll be in Huntsville, Alabama. After that, we're heading on over to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, April 23rd to the 25th. And then April 30th to May 2nd, I'll be in Louisville, Kentucky, and wrapping up right back in Oklahoma. Gonna be in Tulsa May 15th to the 16th. And if you want to get tickets to that, you can go to grace o'malleycomedy.com Also, we drop merch. One person bought it. Let's have some fun. And check that out. It's on the Unwell website under the podcast Disgraceful. It's a sweatshirt that says something along the lines of disgraceful is a podcast. And it doesn't know if it wants to be a podcast or a talk show. And I like it. So I bought this T shirt or hoodie or crew neck or whatever the hell we ended up on. So, yeah, lots of things to check out and enjoy the show. Have you ever jumped out of an airplane?

Summary

Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley

Episode: “Not So Secret Mormon Wives” w/ Demi Engemann

Date: March 19, 2026
Host: Grace O’Malley (“Unwell”) | Guest: Demi Engemann

Episode Overview

This episode of DisGRACEful features Grace O’Malley in conversation with Demi Engemann—Mormon housewife, creator from “MomTok,” and star of the reality show Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Grace admits upfront that she had little time to prepare for the interview and hasn’t fully watched Demi’s show, giving the discussion a spontaneous, candid atmosphere.

The episode explores misconceptions about Mormonism, the creation and evolution of "MomTok," mental health and reality TV pressures, social media drama, and the realities (and rumors) behind secret Mormon wife culture. Grace and Demi keep the tone comedic, at times darkly so, but also touch on serious aspects of mental health, faith, public scrutiny, and personal growth. The episode culminates with lighthearted games and the classic “Disgraceful Receipts” segment.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introducing Demi & the Format Shake-up

Grace opens by explaining a pivot in the show: broadening guests from comics to people from varied walks of life.
Grace confesses upfront to Demi:
- “I wasn’t going to bring up the fact that I’ve never watched the show, but pretty much in the first 10 minutes, I was like, yeah, I don't know what any of this means.” (03:00)
Both joke about their unpreparedness and the craziness of reality TV production schedules.

2. Demi Explains Mormonism (06:10)

For “an alien just landed on Earth,” Demi boils down her faith:
- “Basically, there was a young boy named Joseph Smith… but it really does center around Jesus Christ and his life on Earth.” (06:10-06:27)
Demi notes her more progressive, spiritual (vs. strictly religious) approach:
- “I would say I’m more spiritual than religious.” (06:57)
Discussion about the Book of Mormon musical—growing ability to laugh at oneself and the religion.
Cultural oddities, progressivism, and the utility of shows like Secret Lives in breaking stereotypes.

3. “MomTok” Origins & Structure

Grace asks for a simple breakdown:
- Demi: “It was really just a bunch of moms surviving motherhood getting together, creating content... getting together and just creating a platform that, you know, was loud and brought in views.” (08:55-09:41)
MomTok described as less “book club” and more “dance club for online lady mothers.” (09:41)
Behind-the-scenes: Content is highly planned, with “spreadsheets involved,” especially for Type A members like Whitney and Michaela. (13:35-13:49)
Confessions of being Type Z, not Type A (“I am Z!” (13:52))
MomTok as serious business vs. people’s misperceptions.

4. Life on Reality TV, Editing, and Villain Edits

Demi was the only main cast member not an Executive Producer, left with no say in her portrayal:
- “In the storyline, you could kind of see where that is because you had no say in the way you were portrayed.” (16:22)
On being depicted as a villain:
- Grace: “They made you out to be a villain here.”
  Demi: “They did, yeah.” (16:10-16:12)
Demi discusses her absence from confessionals in season four and pulling back for mental health reasons:
- “I was just in, like, a very raw, vulnerable state... it was just honestly the best move for me.” (19:03-20:54)
Both discuss personal struggles (hospitalization, therapy, dark humor as coping).

5. Social Media, Online Drama, and Piss Gate

Blocking/Muting: Demi rarely blocks anyone but did need to mute words during “piss gate” to protect her stepsons from bullying:
- “They’re, like, chanting it at games. Let’s go, Fruity Pebbles!” (25:44-25:52)
Grace and Demi riff on bullying, nicknames, and the surreal online scrutiny post-TV.
On “golden showers” rumors: Demi clears up details and tries (with much laughter) to explain how rumors take on a life of their own. (27:12-27:25)
Ongoing beef with castmate Jesse:
- “I see the videos sometimes… There she is talking about me again.” (27:47)
- “That’s…you know, it says something. I’m doing something right.” (28:08)

6. Mental Health, Advocacy & Personal Growth

Demi talks openly about attempting suicide, feeling raw from ketamine treatments, and the need for therapy post-show (19:03-20:54).
She expresses hope to be an advocate for mental health, particularly around postpartum depression, anxiety, and OCD:
- “I have something in the works right now that’s going to… go hand in hand with my passion for mental health and specifically around postpartum depression, anxiety, OCD.” (37:44-38:05)
On social media: Both agree it can be damaging to mental health despite its professional necessity.
Swearing and authenticity on TV: They joke about the church not loving all the cursing, but Demi says, “I swear way too much on the show. And they keep it in cuz it’s Hulu.” (42:00-42:05)

7. Specifics of Mormon Culture Debunked

Quickfire “More Mon or No More” Mormon Culture Game:

Utah curls: No more
Soaking (“dry sex”): “Never, never, never.”
Dirty soda: “Every day. More, please.” (50:34, 50:35)
Modesty Garments: “No more on the garments. I’m sorry, but it was once… For me, I don’t know, it just—it’s always felt a little odd.” (61:16, 61:22, 62:08)
Dirfing (dry humping): “No, I’m not against that at all.” (65:18)
Alcohol: “No more. My mental health and my physical health had never been worse drinking. So for me, it’s a no go.” (66:16-66:19)
Caffeine: “It’s gotta stay. That’s the strongest I go.” (66:24-66:27)
Polygamy: “No more. I couldn’t handle that.” (72:25-72:26)
Purity rings: “Never had one. Probably needed one.” (74:17)
Discussion of “Zion Curtain” alcohol rules and “funeral potatoes” at Mormon funerals.

—

8. Sex, Sneaky Kids, and Faith

Demi admits to being sneaky (“I was a snake”) and that strictness breeds sneakiness. (47:26-47:27)
On teenage rebellion: “Sex.”
Grace: “Oh, sex. Yeah, I missed out on that.” (49:23)
On the “soaking” rumor: Demi clarifies she skipped “the good old fashioned soak”: “No, right into it, unfortunately.” (49:32)
Church expectations vs. individual journeys: Demi doesn’t wear the garments anymore, feels cultural standards evolve and should be personal.
On being asked endlessly about Mormon myths: “I don’t feel like I have to—I’m not a spokesperson for the church. I’m talking about my own experiences, my own walk of faith.” (71:20)

9. Personal Life, Puppies, and Family

Demi’s new puppy: “She’s our little baby while we’re trying to have another one.” (31:49)
Her husband’s surprising devotion to the dog, not the one who wanted it.
Frequently confused for being from Real Housewives of SLC or even Desperate Housewives.
Demi has friends and a supportive husband outside of the show’s cast:
- “My husband’s my best friend. Like, honestly, I would be lost without that man.” (47:01)

10. Career Goals and Future Pivots

Demi aspires to acting, singing, and commercial work ("I would love to… do a little bit of acting"). (34:52)
Also wants to continue advocacy for mental health:
- “I am a huge advocate for like breaking the cycles, breaking the generational cycles, learning better, doing better, finding the right tools that help with that.” (37:09)

11. Disgraceful Receipts: Embarrassing/Old Photos (74:21+)

Demi reacts to old photos dredged up by Nora: from early content creation (Rock On era) to winning the Great Mormon Bake-Off with a penis cake, mermaid Halloween, mommy-vlogging shots, vampire costumes, and her own “crazy” bachelorette night (“No drugs, no alcohol, but… maybe there was a plastic penis there.” (81:36))
Commentary on shifting trends (“split that down the middle”—re: hair parts), content aesthetics, and phases of her past life and marriage.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“I don’t feel like I have to—I’m not a spokesperson for the church. I’m talking about my own experiences, my own walk of faith.” – Demi (71:20)
“Thank you for your service.” – Grace, joking about Mormon PR and missionary work (08:43)
“I was an easy target for villainry.” – Demi (43:32)
"I planned my own death… and like, was planning on killing myself…" – Demi (19:04)
[Serious mental health moment—candid/important transparency.]
“When you have stuff to lose, it’s like, wait, I actually gotta live now.” – Demi on motherhood changing her risk tolerance, like skydiving (04:25)
“I am Z.” — Demi on her lack of ‘Type A’ personality (13:52)
“My husband's my best friend... I would be lost without that man.” (47:01)
“Shout out to my daughter, Maude. My whole world… And shout out to my haters. Honestly, wouldn’t be here without you. I know that’s cliche, but it’s true.” – Demi (83:37)
“Hating’s good for the economy.” – Grace (84:15)

Timestamps for Important Segments

06:10 – Demi explains Mormonism to an “alien”
08:43 – Grace thanks Demi for Mormon missionary PR (“Thank you for your service.”)
13:35 – Behind-the-scenes seriousness of MomTok
16:10–16:12 – “They made you out to be a villain.”
19:03–20:54 – On mental health, ketamine therapy, rawness during filming
25:44–25:52 – Demi describes bullying her stepson faced after “piss gate”
34:52–35:53 – Demi’s aspirations outside reality TV: acting, music, advocacy
37:09–38:05 – Mental health advocacy and future projects
50:34–55:07 – Mormon pop culture quickfire game: sodas, snacks, garments
61:22–63:18 – On modesty garments, doctrine, and personal practice
71:19–71:20 – Why Demi doesn’t get tired of explaining Mormonism
74:21+ – “Disgraceful Receipts” embarrassing photo reactions
83:37–84:15 – Shout-outs segment & closing thoughts

Tone, Style, & Final Notes

Comedic, sometimes cutting, interspersed with real vulnerability—this episode balances laughter about Mormon cultural quirks, reality TV shenanigans, and the awkwardness of public scrutiny, with real talk about trauma, healing, and personal accountability.
Demi breaks the stereotype—she’s frank, self-aware, and progressive, challenging both internal Mormon norms and the misperceptions of outsiders.
Memorable moments include discussions about being sneaky “snakes” from strict homes, the surprisingly serious business behind MomTok, and a signature mix of improvisational comedy and dark honesty.

For New Listeners

If you’re curious about modern Mormon culture, reality TV behind the scenes, or the way viral fame collides with family and faith, this episode serves as both an honest primer and a refreshingly irreverent roast. Demi and Grace deliver both laughs and insight, challenging stereotypes all the while.

Skip the ads and intros: the action starts at 01:06, and the most candid/engaging content happens in the main conversation, especially regarding faith, MomTok operations, mental health, and reality TV drama.