Stewart Fullerton: A Girly Pop Culture RomCom

Summary

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Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley

Episode: Stewart Fullerton – A Girly Pop Culture RomCom

Release Date: March 5, 2026
Host: Grace O’Malley
Guest: Stewart Fullerton

Episode Overview

This energetic New York-based comedy podcast episode features Grace O'Malley and guest comedian Stewart Fullerton in a “co-host audition” full of hilarious banter, pop culture deep-dives, personal anecdotes, and commentary on everything from sororities to social media conspiracies. With Grace’s sister Nora occasionally chiming in, the episode’s theme centers around Stewart’s status as a “pop culture connoisseur,” and delivers rapid-fire riffs on comedy life, women in entertainment, the oddities of America, the Broadway scene, and everything in between.

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Key Discussion Points, Insights & Notable Moments

1. Catching Up: Comedy On the Road, Old Times, and 'Balling Out'

• 00:35–02:45
  • Grace and Stewart reminisce about being comedy road dogs, wildly spending money in the past (crab dinners, Buffalo Bills games, bottomless wings), and the financial realities of touring solo.
  • Notable banter about comedy club adventures:
    • Stewart discusses performing at festivals and Dr. Grins in Grand Rapids.
    • Awkward charity gig moment: “I pulled out a cancer joke… then realized it was a cancer charity, so that was interesting.” – Stewart (03:26)

2. Pop Culture Deep-Dive

• 03:50–09:16
  • Theme declared: All about pop culture. Stewart celebrates TV obsessions (Industry, reality TV) and calls out the bogusness of “day trading” bros.
    • "Women don't day trade." – Grace (05:21)
    • “They're gambling during the light hours!” – Stewart (04:39)
  • Riffing on Love is Blind and the archetype of finance guys scamming on reality TV.

3. Quickfire Life Icebreakers: Stewart’s Origin Story

• 05:46–08:46
  • Grace quizzes Stewart with word and place associations (Shreveport, Macaroni Grill, Salt Lake City), uncovering Stewart’s family roots and college past.
  • “Growing up, if we went to Macaroni Grill, that was like, dad got paid.” – Stewart (07:18)
  • The quirks of Utah’s masked drinking culture (“Zion Curtain”) and diluted beer.
    • “Don’t get me started. Hashtag rock bottom. What does that mean to you?” – Grace (09:24)
    • Stewart on ‘rock bottom’ as a perpetual college motif/identity.

4. College & Sororities: Mishaps, Hazing, and Kappa Kappa Gamma

• 10:24–15:45
  • Hilarious take on sorority life, forced participation (courtesy of Stewart’s mom), and navigating Utah’s less-rowdy Greek culture.
  • “I did choreograph this dance routine, and they told me it was too sexual… so we made up a fake dance and did the real one at the performance.” – Stewart (14:40)
    • Tales of pushing boundaries, getting shushed, wild parties, and eventual sorority exit.
    • Notable mention: “I was Hannah Montana. I really was.” – Stewart (14:42)

5. School Struggles, Activities, and Test Trauma

• 17:56–22:45
  • The comedians swap academic horror stories (chemistry flunks, environmental science), desperate attempts at resume padding (Sign Language Club, French/Spanish Club).
    • “My grades were so bad, I got a 12% in chemistry. Not on a test—in the class.” – Stewart (19:17)
  • Open talk about anxiety, standardized testing, and beta blockers.
    • “Turns out it’s called being anxious.” – Grace (21:11)

6. Fitness Trends: From Rumble to SoulCycle to Pilates

• 23:35–25:54
  • Stewart’s experiences working at trendy NYC gyms, the ever-changing fitness fads (boxing -> Pilates -> SoulCycle — and peer pressure to join in).
    • “Now it’s Pilates. And it changes so quick.” – Stewart (24:06)
  • Hilarious description of Pilates machines: “The machines look like a sex dungeon.” – Grace (24:45)

7. Randomness, Family Lore & Animal Oddities

• 26:05–30:54
  • Wide-ranging stories: Red Iguana Mexican food, moving from Arkansas to Utah, learning about illegal pets (sugar gliders named ‘Trump’ and ‘Hillary’), StockX but for snakes (rare reptiles going for $50,000).
    • “There’s a StockX for snakes!” – Stewart (30:03)
    • "My uncle had sugar gliders off the black market… their names were Trump and Hillary.” – Stewart (28:18)

8. Pop Culture Paranoia and Conspiracies

• 31:01–32:24
  • Conspiracies trending on TikTok: clones, celebrity weirdness, Jim Carrey rumors, Ellen DeGeneres death myths.
    • “My TikTok is all up right now… It’s saying that like everybody is a clone." – Grace (31:20)
    • “Ellen DeGeneres killed everybody… she killed Twitch.” – Grace (31:39)
    • Stewart met Twitch at a Broadway show.

9. America’s Weird Flexes: Language and Culture

• 33:14–34:06
  • Satirical critique of American pride in monolingualism and disregard for non-English speakers—salvaged only by superior pop culture.
    • “We do pop culture better than anyone.” – Stewart (33:48)
    • “America does one thing well — create mentally ill pop stars.” – Stewart (33:54)

10. Broadway & Musicals: Rants, Reviews & Performances

• 35:02–38:50
  • Grace and Stewart share unfiltered opinions about Broadway trends (Six, Sunset Boulevard, Matthew Morrison's infamous cabaret, the cost & culture of theater), the musical 'Six' (“I avoided it for years… then some songs got stuck in my head”), and the over-singing epidemic on Broadway.
    • “I could just watch Beyoncé’s Homecoming at home.” – Stewart (35:06)
    • “The thing about musicals that really me up… I need, like, hey, how are you? Not ‘Hey, how are youuuu!'" – Grace (35:43)

11. Shia or Shy: Pop Culture Quiz Game

• 45:00–47:55
  • Grace devises a hilarious game, asking Stewart to guess whether a quote is from Shia LaBeouf or her own “shy” private journal. The segment deconstructs celebrity personas and the blurred line between melodrama and real life.
    • “It’s not nice to hurt people. It’s fucking lame. People got hurt… but I’m never going to bash you online.” – Both Grace & Shia (47:23)
    • Stewart nails most answers. They discuss watching the full (ethically questionable) Shia interview.

12. Celebrity Weirdness Roundtable

• 51:01–54:14
  • Listing “scariest” actors (Shia LaBeouf, Jared Leto, Tom Cruise, Joaquin Phoenix, Johnny Depp), and the oddness of public personas, nepo babies, and the Baldwin/Kennedy family dramas.
    • “They’re the meth-head Kennedys!” – Stewart on the Baldwins (52:23)
    • “He [Stephen Baldwin] got into Trump psychosis bad.” – Stewart (53:24)

13. Obsession with the Kennedys & Ryan Murphy’s FX Drama

• 54:18–57:45
  • Riffing on the new JFK Jr. drama, casting, and Caroline Bessette Kennedy; the notion that George magazine was ahead of its time.
    • “Imagine how our country would be different if George had lasted.” – Stewart (55:21)
    • “The covers are iconic… I’m about to buy some old George’s on eBay.” – Stewart (55:13)
  • Critique of Ryan Murphy’s TV portrayals, nepo casting, and character quirks.

14. 90s Nostalgia, Cycling, and City Life

• 58:26–62:21
  • Stories about JFK Jr.'s biker lifestyle, and regular New Yorkers in the ‘90s: rotary phones, newspaper stands, and daydreaming of retro city living.
    • “I wish I lived in New York in the 90s… calling my friend on the landline.” – Stewart (60:53)

15. Romcom Brainstorming

• 62:24–62:54
  • Musing over the lack of true “girly pop romcoms” and agreeing that the world needs a throwback classic.

16. After-Party Gossip, SNL, and Celebrity Crushes

• 63:04–65:02
  • Behind-the-scenes tea: Conner Story at SNL, industry parties, Stewart's crush on a country-singing actor, and accidental encounters with Chet Hanks’ family at the airport.
    • “He is so amazing...he’s country singing now, and it doesn’t sound bad.” – Stewart (64:48)

17. Bravo/Real Housewives Mania

• 71:07–74:54
  • Hot takes on RHOBH (Denise Richards’ choices, Sutton, Kyle’s sexuality, Morgan Wade influence), the decline of ‘Beverly Hills,’ and why the original cast nostalgia hits hardest.
    • “Kyle’s been bothering me for a while… she used to be the realest in the game.” – Stewart (74:19)
    • “I met Paris Hilton once. I made her a smoothie at Barry’s Bootcamp.” – Stewart (75:10)
      • Paris tipped $50 and encouraged Stewart to wear heels (“I never did start wearing heels!”)

18. Weekend Update-Style Comedy News Segment

• 78:00–82:55
  • Grace and Stewart read self-written punchlines satirizing SNL, the Olympics, Shia LaBeouf’s controversial interviews, airline policy, and more. Banter is playful, sharp, and refreshingly self-deprecating.
    • “SNL— You know who’s laughing during SNL? The people on SNL.” – Stewart (78:32)
    • “Southwest Airlines has finally added assigned seating to which the pilots and flight attendant said: ‘whatever.’” – Stewart (79:56)
    • “Shia LaBeouf did a sit down interview… giving a sneak peek into the mind of the one kid from high school that did acid too young and is stuck in a permanent trip.” – Grace (80:09)
    • “Jacob Elordi played a deformed figure, but many of those actors in attendance may also have some staples in their face recently.” – Grace (82:01)

19. Closing Banter & Plugs

• 83:00–83:46
  • Grace thanks Stewart, who promotes her comedy tour and TikTok (@stuartandchill):
    • "Follow me on TikTok and Instagram at @st and Chill. Thank you. Bye." – Stewart (83:30)

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Notable Quotes & Timestamp Highlights

• "I just called myself rock bottom at all times walking around." – Stewart (09:44)
• "I was Hannah Montana. I really was." – Stewart (14:42)
• "America does one thing well—it’s like, create mentally ill pop stars that are amazing." – Stewart (33:54)
• "We haven’t had a girly pop romcom in forever and a day. I know, we need a good one." – Stewart (62:32)
• "She [Paris Hilton] was like, ‘Don’t forget to wear heels more.’ And I was like, that is awesome." – Stewart (77:28)
• "SNL—You know who’s laughing during SNL? The people on SNL." – Stewart (78:32)
• "Kyle’s been bothering me for a while, and she used to be my favorite." – Stewart (74:16)
• "Women don't day trade." – Grace (05:21)
• "If that's homophobic, then I'm—" – Grace/Stewart, ‘Shy or LaBeouf’ Game (47:12)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:35 – 02:45: Comedy catch-up and touring stories
• 03:50 – 09:16: Pop culture intro and men “day trading”
• 10:24 – 15:45: College/sorority stories and funny infractions
• 17:56 – 22:45: Academic struggles and anxiety talk
• 23:35 – 25:54: Fitness fads – Rumble, Pilates, SoulCycle
• 26:05 – 30:54: Red Iguana, family, and rare animal stories
• 31:01 – 32:24: TikTok conspiracies and celebrity rumors
• 33:14 – 34:06: US pop culture vs. multilingual world
• 35:02 – 38:50: Broadway/Musical hot takes
• 45:00 – 47:55: "Shy or LaBeouf" game
• 51:01 – 54:14: Celeb breakdowns (Shia, Baldwins, etc.)
• 54:18 – 57:45: Kennedy obsession & Ryan Murphy's drama
• 71:07 – 74:54: Bravo/Real Housewives hot takes
• 78:00 – 82:55: Weekend Update-style segment
• 83:00 – 83:46: Plugs & outro

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Final Takeaways

• This episode is a rapid, unfiltered, and affectionate roast of everything bad and beautiful about American pop culture—celebrity weirdness, the comedy grind, childhood misfit stories, and Broadway drama.
• Stewart Fullerton delivers big laughs and anecdotes, cementing her pop culture “connoisseur” status.
• Chock-full of memorable lines, inside jokes, and behind-the-scenes chatter, it’s a must-listen for anyone craving comics dishing about the weird, wild world of entertainment and life in New York.

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hey, guys. Welcome back to another episode of Disgraceful. I am here with my good, good best. Let's go best. Let's go best. You're one of my best friends.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

I haven't seen you in so long. Give it up for Stuart Fullerton, everybody. She's the funniest gal around.

[A]

Please, please, everyone take a seat. No. Grace, I'm so happy to see you. Grace is a road. You're a road dog now.

[B]

You're a road dog.

[A]

Well, I know, but it's Stuart's opening

[B]

for Hannah Burner right now, and neither one of us can even. We can't each other ever.

[A]

Can't happen. We need to start FaceTiming on Saturdays.

[B]

That's important. That's what we need because I'm now on the road solo dolo. And it's. That's.

[A]

Why are you.

[B]

That's. I, I. It was suggested financially.

[A]

Financially.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, because you were bawling out.

[B]

I got a call and they said you're going a little too nuts.

[A]

You were balling out for a bit, and I loved it.

[B]

Yeah. I was like, dude, all my dogs ate. And we ate good.

[A]

I didn't say it. I didn't say shit.

[B]

I didn'.

[A]

I was like, no, this is how. This is how we're supposed to be treated. Meanwhile, I'm like, this is gonna end.

[B]

Yeah. No, we. We literally did crab dinner.

[A]

We did crab dinner. We did crab dinner. We did bottomless wings. We went to the Bills game.

[B]

We did.

[A]

We balled the fuck out.

[B]

Yeah, we did it. We did it upright, though.

[A]

But it's good to go alone and, like, spend some, like, spend some quality time alone. And I love these weird little cities.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

you don't.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I'm from a weird city, so it's, like, nice. I like to go to, like, like, I don't want to know. I'm gonna say random. Grand Rapids, Michigan.

[B]

I liked Grand Rapids, Michael.

[A]

Love it there.

[B]

I really liked it there. What did you do? You do Dr. Grins?

[A]

It was. Yeah. Dr. Grenz.

[B]

Okay, so Dr. Grins. Now this is the deal about Dr. Grins. It is a four floor building where you've got dance party at the top, comedy right below it, which is awesome. You can hear all the unse unt's while you're trying to do jokes. And if you're bombing, it's oontz. Oontz.

[A]

You can hear it. You can hear it.

[B]

Then below that they have bowling, which is so awesome for comedy.

[A]

Now, I didn't go to Dr. Grins. I did this, like, festival with. With Gabby and Dr. Greens was on all of the signs. But it was like, in, like a different. It was not that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I guess I didn't go there. It was like the Gilda Radner Festival or something. So they do it in, like, different.

[B]

Oh, fuck. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

How was that? It was fun.

[A]

Well, it was fun. I do have something to say.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

It's a cancer charity. And I didn't realize. And so they kind of like bring you up, like, immediately. They bring. They're not like. They like, do a cancer speech.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then go into it. And I. I never do. I have this one cancer joke which is not funny. It's not even worth it.

[B]

I got a cancer joke. It's terrible. I use it as an example of how bad the joke is.

[A]

It's like one of my first jokes. It's not even good. I just pull it out. Sometimes I pull it out randomly. When there's, like, old.

[B]

I forgot to talk about this one. Yeah.

[A]

When there's, like, old people in the audience, I always, like, pull out the cancer joke. Just, you know.

[B]

Yeah. You know, just to scare them, make

[A]

sure they're awake, to make sure they're getting checked, you know, Hong Kong. But I pulled it out and then no one laughed. I'm like, oh, you guys don't think. And then I realized it was a cancer charity, so that was interesting.

[B]

That definitely sucks. Bad.

[A]

It was rough. Other than that, I had fun.

[B]

Oh, that is. Yeah, that's probably. That's brutal, dude. It was. That's a toughie.

[A]

Oh, I know.

[B]

But you.

[A]

It was fine.

[B]

You live and you learn.

[A]

You live and you learn.

[B]

The kind of thing. And something I've learned about you over the years is that you are a pop culture connoisseur.

[A]

I love pop culture.

[B]

So that will be the theme for this episode. There's going to be a lot of pop culture coming at you. You fast.

[A]

Oh, my God, you guys.

[B]

So buckle up, sit down and watch your TV show. It's on right now.

[A]

I love pop culture. Oh, every TV show industry finale was last night. That was a huge night for me. Did you watch? Oh, my God. It's amazing.

[B]

I watched the first season. It helped me understand what, like, some of my guy friends do for work.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Because I did not know.

[A]

And a lot of the guy friends are doing it not for work. They're doing it just during the day.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's exactly. Yeah, 100%.

[A]

Which is so funny. Like, I'll talk to a guy and he'll be like. He'll be like, oh, I love, like, you know, like, finance day trading, but they don't work in finance. I'm like, you're gambling. You're gambling the Oak Lawn racetrack. You're gambling during the day. You're gambling during the light hours.

[B]

I don't even want to admit this, but I was watching Love is Blind, okay? And one of the guys, he's like, well, my, my. My main source of income is day trading.

[A]

Ain't no way.

[B]

Ain't.

[A]

These people are lying to you.

[B]

Well, that guy is a compulsive liar. He's out of his fucking mind. The way he talks, he's like, I am not lying to you 100%. I am telling the truth. And if you do not believe me, then we're gonna have a problem.

[A]

No, he was literally so creepy.

[B]

But in that moment right there, when I heard him say day trading and they showed him on his phone, I was like, that's what that means.

[A]

That's what that means.

[B]

That's. I didn't know.

[A]

I know, I know. It's horrible.

[B]

I didn't know you could do that for a job.

[A]

You can't. It's people's with their parents money that are, like, going back and forth and they're making a little bit every day. Don't come for me if I'm wrong.

[B]

Women don't day trade.

[A]

Right, Exactly. Exactly.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

But look at your man. Look and see what the computer is doing. It's not Harper Stern in there. He is cheating. Yeah, he's gambling.

[B]

Gambling with your heart.

[A]

He's gambling with your heart and your money. And you need your Sephora points. So make sure he doesn't go too far.

[B]

Leave him for his dad. He's the one who has money, right?

[A]

That's where the money comes from.

[B]

Anyways, real quick, I have a little icebreaker. Like, we fudgeing. Need it.

[A]

Love it.

[B]

Now hit me.

[A]

Hit me.

[B]

When I say these words, say exactly what comes to your brain right away. Okay? Okay. One, two, three. Shreveport, Louisiana.

[A]

Shreveport, Louisiana. That's where my family's from.

[B]

Shut up.

[A]

Bossier City.

[B]

Did you just.

[A]

I did la, but it's actually.

[B]

I.

[A]

Actually, it's also la, but it is la. Louisiana is the state. Whatever. My family is from there. How did you know that?

[B]

Macaroni Grill.

[A]

That's where we went growing up. Who told you this? Did you?

[B]

20 South, 1300 east, apartment number three.

[A]

That is where I lived. Oh, my God. In Salt Lake City, Utah.

[B]

You lived in Utah?

[A]

Yes. I went to college at the University of Utah. I did not know that. Go Ute. I did.

[B]

This icebreaker is good for us.

[A]

No, this is crazy. I also worked at the Macaroni Grill, if that's what you're saying. If that's what did come up. I worked at the Macaroni Grill there.

[B]

You did?

[A]

Yeah, I did.

[B]

I didn't know it was such a big chain.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's a huge chain.

[B]

I got the Macaroni Grill when I was in Salt Lake City.

[A]

Did you. Was it amazing?

[B]

It did. It was awesome. You know what I. I thought to myself, tastes a lot better, too. It was making this.

[A]

Oh, my God. Macaroon. Well, I didn't work in the kitchen. Let's be.

[B]

There ain't nothing wrong with that. Not.

[A]

Not. Because there's nothing wrong with that.

[B]

But I flip patties in my day.

[A]

There's nothing wrong with that. But I cannot cook.

[B]

But. But can you? Are you, like, a non cooker?

[A]

I'm kind of a non. I can cook if I just don't want to.

[B]

You just know what you. What you can and what you can't. Exactly.

[A]

Exactly. Growing up, if we went to Macaroni Grill, that was like, dad got paid. Like, that was rich. And it's a little more classy than the Olive Garden, I would say.

[B]

Oh, it's a step above.

[A]

I. I don't know, but it's, like, in that same, like, Red Lobster on the border, like, Mimi's Cafe sort of grouping.

[B]

You ever hear of the. The. The restaurant Maggiano's?

[A]

It's in that same kind of, like, vibe as well. Magiano is nice.

[B]

Michelin.

[A]

That is Michelin.

[B]

Michelin. You could do family style. I didn't know that that was. I knew that that was, like, what poor people do. I know, family style. I was like, look at how much food they have. They have provided for us.

[A]

This is amazing. No, Amagiano's was. Was. It was amazing.

[B]

So Macaroni Grillo.

[A]

It's not owned by the same people, but it's like. It's a very similar vibe. Then once you get real money, you go to Bonefish Grill.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

That's next step. Have you ever been there?

[B]

No, but that is a chain I've been seeing around these towns.

[A]

It's around.

[B]

It's around.

[A]

And hear this. They make a great martini. I will give that. I will give them that.

[B]

Well, not in Salt Lake City, because they have the thing that I went off on it.

[A]

The Zion Curtain. Was that the Zion Curtain?

[B]

What's that mean?

[A]

That's what it's called. How they're not allowed to, like, have alcohol at restaurants. It has to be behind a curtain.

[B]

What the.

[A]

They have crazy liquor laws. It might have been updated. I haven't lived there since 2015. But basically, if you're a restaurant, you can't have alcohol showing anywhere. It, like, has to be behind a

[B]

curtain that is bizarro.

[A]

Yeah. Is that the Zion Curtain? Yeah, I think the Zion Curtain might be a joking, like, term for it. But yeah, anyways. But so it.

[B]

If it. You have to be a bar.

[A]

If you have alcohol showing, that is. So you can still order drinks at restaurants, but it has to be, like, come from behind. They can't have, like, bottles out and stuff.

[B]

I went off last week talking about all the drinking laws that they have there.

[A]

It's interesting. It's interesting. And here's the thing. I lived there for four years, and I drank just fine.

[B]

So there's ways around this.

[A]

I drink everything, but the beer pisses me off. I kind of stopped drinking beer because beer's less percent.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was wondering why it wasn't working.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Right. Crazy, right? It's less.

[A]

It's like they make it special for you to. It's totally less percent. I know. And what's the point?

[B]

What happened to church and state is what I'm saying. Exactly.

[A]

Don't get me started.

[B]

Don't even get me started. Hashtag rock bottom. What does that mean to you?

[A]

These are seeming to be things I like, posted online when in 2015. But I think I made that just my personality for a while. I would just say I was rock bottom at every. I just called myself rock bottom at

[B]

all times walking around.

[A]

I, like, basically hit rock bottom every single day. Like, that was sort of my vibe.

[B]

This is 2015 year college. College. I'm old. No, you're not. You know, Nora would say so, but I wouldn't.

[A]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[B]

Well, you said it many a time.

[A]

Nora loves you.

[B]

Like, you said it, like, a handful of times.

[A]

No, I'm in touch with the youth.

[B]

You are Gen Z. You have a butterfly tattoo until I

[A]

have a butterfly tattoo until I have children. I am 26.

[B]

Yeah. That's just how the world works.

[A]

Like, look at my pants.

[B]

I mean, seriously, though. Dripping from head to toe.

[A]

Dripping. I'm 26. Okay. Rock bottom is probably what I made like, all my. Like, I posted. I was, like, very always saying I was rock bottom. I still am rock bottom. I hit rock bottom like, once a month.

[B]

Yeah, I'd say so. What's that, your lunar phase? Yeah.

[A]

Ludio.

[B]

Ludia Baloney tune.

[A]

When it happens.

[B]

Kappa Kappa Gamma.

[A]

Oh, that was. I was in that sort. These are all college things. You're. Well, you're really doing some gotcha journalism. I was in the Kava Kappa Gamma sorority. I love it. I love it with you. I'm like, what? In the face. She went on Facebook. Stop calling my ass old. This is on Facebook with some of these references app. Me neither. Have family to avoid on there. Kappa Kappa Gamma final. Throw up another sign.

[B]

Oh, my God. Well, we hit a hat trick today. God. I'm kidding.

[A]

I was in the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority.

[B]

Okay. It.

[A]

Yeah. And I did leave. Was a lot.

[B]

What happened there? It was. Did you tell me already?

[A]

I probably did. It was actually really hilarious. Oh, my God. This is actually a really funny story. So where I'm from in Arkansas, going to a sorority is like, everything. Yeah, everything.

[B]

It's like. It's like. Yeah, it's.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, just a rite of passage. Yeah.

[A]

And it's just very common. And so when I went off to school in Utah, which I went to Utah because they had a theater program that I wanted to go and I. Which, like, said no one ever didn't work. I'm here. Not actress.

[B]

Not a closeted gays.

[A]

Yeah. It was just me hanging out with, like, closeted ex Mormon gays and drinking the 2% beer.

[B]

You keep in touch with those guys?

[A]

Absolutely. Absolutely. One of them is crushing it right now. And doing voice coaching for Whitney, who's on Broadway.

[B]

What way? Oh, my God. And that's the salt Lake.

[A]

That's my boy. That's my boy. Yeah, absolutely. They're all kind of crushing at the gays. The ex Mormons are very, very or all Mormons are very, very talented. Anyways, the cava. Cava Gamma was funny. So my mom really kind of forced me. She was like, you have to join a sorority. And I did also kind of want to. I was like, I'm coming to this random school. Like, need to make friends, whatever. I didn't get into the sorority I wanted to get into, which was. Which sucked because, like, the cool snowboarders girls were in that sorority.

[B]

See, this is a whole different college experience that I have ever known.

[A]

It was so. And it wasn't even, like, drama.

[B]

You've got snowboarders, you've got snowballers. I know.

[A]

It was. I really made it. I made it, like, a totally insane thing because. But also, in Utah, it's like they pretended like they were, like, frat sorority culture, but it, like, really. They didn't have, like, what it. They don't go as hard as the Southern people.

[B]

They did the hazing with none of the drinking. Just a lot of sex stuff.

[A]

Well, I wish. Well, I was kind of like, pro haze. I was like, let's fucking get whatever you need.

[B]

I'm ready.

[A]

Let's turn the lights off and fucking, like, finger. No, I'm just.

[B]

Don't call the police. We'll just all be standing there with our dicks in our hands. Did you see that video? No. The police responded to a. Like, a fire alarm went off, but it was at a frat, and the frat was in the middle of doing their hazing.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And so the cop cam footage is just all these little boys in a bull in a Nora showing.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's a dark basement. That's called an elephant walk.

[B]

Yes, it is. That's what now everyone's talking about. Elephant walks.

[A]

Oh, my God. I didn't even know about this.

[B]

They're all just. Look at. That's all of them. They're just all just standing there. We need a TV in here. I can't.

[A]

We need a tv. That is amazing. Oh, my God. Look at them.

[B]

Oh, my God. Yeah, they're all just standing there going. And then the cops trying to talk to him, and he's like, hey, buddy, you all right? They were, like, advised not to say.

[A]

That is so funny. And by the way, like, being in a sorority and a fraternity is a humiliation ritual unlike any other. Like, that's what pissed me off about the sorority so much, is like. I'm like, how are you gonna shush me? And you're my age. Like, I was always getting shushed in the back of chapter meeting. I was always in trouble. I got in trouble a lot.

[B]

I had. What'd you get in trouble for?

[A]

I had an incident at the formal, and I used the C word to an alumni member. Oh, God forbid. Because I thought it was really funny to say the seat.

[B]

Like, yeah, yeah, I'm in college.

[A]

I was in college. I'm like, I'm British. I'm gonna start saying the C word.

[B]

You know, you cannot tell me.

[A]

I can't say exactly. Exactly. So I was throwing left, like saying,

[B]

you're throwing your country out.

[A]

I was throwing. I was throwing that word around like crazy. And it would always shock the sorority fraternity people because I would say it over here with the gays, and then I would go to the sorority stuff and then, like, yell it out anyways.

[B]

I was Hannah Montana ing this.

[A]

I was Hannah Montana. I really was. I really was. And so I got in trouble a few times, and then I would miss some of the meetings, and then the girls were. I would always get shushed in the back. And then I got in trouble. I did, like. I choreographed this dance routine, and they told me it was two. I, like, made the music. I made the theme. I. I made, like, the boys get on the ground, and we, like, did pony. And I made it, like, super sexual, and it was hilarious. And I got the sing with Kai boys to do it. It was. And they told me. They were like, you can't do that. That's too sexual. Like, it's too crazy. Like, you cannot do that. So we made up a fake dance to show them, like, for practice. And then we did a real. A real. The dirty.

[B]

It was sick.

[A]

It was sick. It was sick, dude, I loved it. My mind back in the day, it doesn't work anymore, but back in the day, my mind is crazy.

[B]

And then she knew every loophole to jump.

[A]

I know.

[B]

We.

[A]

And then we did the real one at the performance, and we were all like. The boys were motorboating us. We were like. It was so on, and we got it. I got in a lot of trouble for that as well. And that was sort of the final straw. So I did leave Kappa Kappa Gamma after, I think, three years. But I love everyone there and wishing

[B]

everyone nothing but the wow.

[A]

I love Kappa Kappa Gammas.

[B]

At Charmin, we heard you shouldn't talk about going to the bathroom in public. So we decided to sing about it. Light a candle, pour some wine grab a roll the soft kind for a

[A]

little me time Charmin ultra soft.

[B]

Smooth hair, wavy edges for my rear so let the softness caress your soul. Just relax your on a roll. Let her rip. Charmin Ultra Soft Smooth tear. Charmin Ultra soft smooth tear has the same softness you love now with wavy edges that tear better than the leading one. Ply brand. Enjoy the go with Charmin.

[A]

If you're looking for new ways to get ahead, then you're our kind of person. We're Udemy and we help learners like you upskill in AI productivity, leadership and management and more. Learn at your own pace from real world experts. You can also prep for certifications that

[B]

show employers what you know upskill for

[A]

the career you [e-mail]. now back to your regularly scheduled listening.

[B]

Speaking of switching your choreography. In fifth grade, me and my friends, we did a dance and we auditioned and we used a Lady Gaga song. And they. No, we. We used a 303 song.

[A]

Oh, that's my shit.

[B]

Absolute classic.

[A]

Not you in fifth grade with 303. Ugh. I'm obsessed.

[B]

It was awesome. They told us it was too inappropriate, so we changed the song.

[A]

Don't trust a Ho.

[B]

But we didn't match the moves because we changed the song.

[A]

Right?

[B]

So we're just counting in our heads like, I don't know, man. I don't know. It was the opposite problem. Our dance moves were fine, but the song choice was.

[A]

That's what you switched the song to. Do you remember you did Don't Trust a Hoe originally? Probably.

[B]

Oh, Lady. Lady Gaga. Cherry, Cherry. Boom boom. I still remember. I still remember. Don't you dare forget it. Because it was the same choreography from cheerleading tryouts that I did not make the team for.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Me neither. Sign language club.

[A]

I did. I did that in college.

[B]

My mom learned sign language at college.

[A]

I'll do this. I can do Party in the usa.

[B]

Oh, thank God.

[A]

That's all I know inside.

[B]

That is not what I thought you were gonna pull out of your ass.

[A]

Anyways, long story short, no, I can't do the whole song. I just do the chorus. But basically, in college or no, in high school, I am very. I have no. I can't do homework, studying, anything like that. So I basically was like, I'm not gonna get into any schools. I have to really do a million extracurricular. My extracurriculars were, like, insane.

[B]

Sign language club is. I. It's crazy that that was even offered.

[A]

I just start. I started it,

[B]

dude. I wanted to start a club called Culture Club. Oh. And we were going to, like, dive into different cultures and maybe take a trip. That was my Big idea. But then I looked up Culture Club and it was a gay pop band. And. Yeah, that's like a thing. So maybe don't.

[A]

Maybe we can't do that.

[B]

That's a plan here.

[A]

Oh, my God. No. I was. I'm wondering when I lost all this motivation I had.

[B]

But, like, you are a. I mean, you still are a goddamn go getter.

[A]

I'm a go getter.

[B]

I'm. She works a real ass job and she's real ass on the road all at the same time.

[A]

I know it's.

[B]

I mean, I don't know how you balance.

[A]

I don't successfully. But the sign language club, I basically was like. My grades were so bad. I got a 12% in chemistry. Not on it. Not on a test in the class.

[B]

Dude. Why was there math?

[A]

Why was there math?

[B]

Why was there math?

[A]

That actually pisses. I don't want to get on a soapbox, but it pisses me off that there even was math. Because, like, why are you going to humiliate me like that?

[B]

It was literally so embarrassing. Physics. I said, oh, I do. I need this to graduate. They said, you do? I said, well, I'm not going to pass. They said, okay, you can learn about natural gases.

[A]

I did that too.

[B]

Learn about fossil fuels. You could go. It was called, like, green.

[A]

I did something environmental something.

[B]

But like, environmental science.

[A]

I did that too.

[B]

So dumb.

[A]

But that class was even too hard for me.

[B]

Bad word.

[A]

That class was even too hard for me. Environmental science. I had to switch out and go to geology and space.

[B]

And don't even get me started on space.

[A]

That was. That class was sick. We didn't have to do anything. The teacher just didn't.

[B]

Oh, that rock.

[A]

Talk to us. So we just all chilled. I had a few classes like that in call or in high school.

[B]

The space guys are weed heads.

[A]

Oh, yeah. We literally just chilled. The teacher was like, we're not gonna.

[B]

This space is crazy. Yeah, Watch this movie. Yeah, exactly. All that.

[A]

Exactly. He didn't even make us watch a movie. We literally just walked in and straight chilled. Oh, that rough rocks. It was awesome.

[B]

That's pretty.

[A]

So I had such bad grades that I started assignment. I was just like, pat. I just wanted, like, to have my, like, whatever. And then I ended up going for musical theater, where they don't care anyways.

[B]

But did you have a bad gpa?

[A]

I don't even remember what it was, but it was pretty bad. But I switched into, like, some of the, like, worst classes. Like, all my friends were in, like, good classes. And I was in like.

[B]

Yeah, these are the ones that gonna. They're gonna look good on paper. Just don't ask what it was.

[A]

Exactly. Exactly. But then it's like sats and acts like. I mean, the worst scores. People would be shocked.

[B]

I forgot a calculator.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Never retook it.

[A]

Yeah. I would die to know what we got. I would love to take it again with you, dude.

[B]

Yeah. Wait, can you. Is that a thing? You can do that?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Let's sign up.

[A]

We should sign up and take it, dude. Oh, that'd be hilarious. And we'll still. I'll probably still get, like, the worst score.

[B]

Oh, I will do worse.

[A]

I cannot take tests.

[B]

I can't take a test for the life of me. And I didn't know what that feeling was. It turns out it's like. It's called being anxious.

[A]

It's anxiety. I know. I just found out I had anxiety this year.

[B]

What? Yeah.

[A]

I didn't know what happened.

[B]

Who. Who said, boom. What's it.

[A]

A few people were like, well, you're so anxious. And I was like, wait, what?

[B]

Really? You don't strike me as an anxious person.

[A]

I didn't think I was. But I do get nervous for things. Yeah, but. But things that I love to do, I don't get nervous for.

[B]

But, like, there's Hannah making you take beta blockers.

[A]

I am taking beta markers.

[B]

I am taking. It's a prerequisite.

[A]

Hannah's not making me take them. Hannah's not making me take them. But it was suggested to me. Yeah, well, what happened is I had to film this one thing, and my body was, like, shaking. Oh, before you can do about that. And there's nothing. I had to hold my hands. And then I had to have a little vodka soda to Cocaine. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I had to have a sip of vodka soda and literally, like, hold my hands to. I was able to do it, but I am taking the beta blockers.

[B]

I don't know if they really filming. That was freaking you.

[A]

It was like a taping for, like, one of those, like, random things they do for, like, clips for the Dr. Squatch thing.

[B]

Oh, well, yeah, that's. That's nerve wracking.

[A]

I just get nervous when people are filming.

[B]

Yeah, no, I know. And it's like, I thought maybe, like, it was for this and I was going to be like, oh, my God.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was like my first time, like, really being filmed doing something. Yeah, like, stand up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I don't know, I got really in my head about it.

[B]

I mean, it's like there's literally nothing you can do when you're feeling that way and you're about to go on and it's like, oh, I know. I guess we're doing this.

[A]

I know. And I was fine. I didn't seem nervous or anything, and it all worked out. But my body before it was, like, so crazy. The physical manifestation of anxiety that I had. Anyways, Back to the sign. Back to the Sign Language Club. I started it.

[B]

You started it. What other clubs did you do?

[A]

I forget. I did, like, every single club. I mean, we had a Harry Potter club. Millennial.

[B]

Oh, you are. You are.

[A]

We had, like, all these. All these crazy clubs. French. I was in French club. I was in, like, every. I think I was in French and Spanish club at one point. We just did every club. Like, every single.

[B]

This is. This is. Reminded me of, like. You ever see that clip of Shane Gillis? And he's like, on paper, I. I've done decorated.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's me.

[B]

That's like, on paper, you can speak sign language, Friends.

[A]

On paper, I can do everything. I can play guitar. I can play piano.

[B]

No.

[A]

And then in reality, it's like three things. Exactly.

[B]

What comes to your mind when you. When you hear this word rumble?

[A]

The gym. I worked there, too. I worked there. Do you know what this gym is?

[B]

Yeah, it's the boxing gym.

[A]

It's like a trendy boxing gym.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I heard it's awesome.

[A]

It's actually really sick. I actually liked working there because I had worked at the. At Barry's Boot Camp. Like, when I first moved to New York, for, like, years I worked at Barry's, and then they kind of like, rumble. Took a lot of people from Barry's over.

[B]

That's the thing that has never made any sense to me. There's always, like, this trendy physical thing that everyone's doing.

[A]

I know. And it changes so quick. Now it's Pilates.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now it's Pilates. And it changes so quick.

[B]

People are getting. Are you doing Pilates?

[A]

I actually did Pilates on Saturday.

[B]

You look like you're doing Pilates. You look great.

[A]

And here's the thing about Pilates. I highly recommend it because you can chill the out and lay down while you do it. You just can't go to some of these crazy ones.

[B]

I saw Jake Shane shake it.

[A]

That's. He was going to a crazy one. He was. Or he does, like a personal trainer one.

[B]

Okay. Gotcha.

[A]

So he's like. They're pushing him. I like this.

[B]

It all paid off. He looks great.

[A]

Yeah, he looks good.

[B]

Going on right now. He looks good.

[A]

I like the ones, though, that are more chill. You kind of lay down, put your legs in the air or whatever. When am I not doing that? You know?

[B]

I know. And the machines look like. Like a sex.

[A]

Sex dungeon.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, it's really not bad. And it's like tiny movements, but it feels kind of good. I'm not.

[B]

Not.

[A]

I was resistant to the trend. I have jumped.

[B]

I have.

[A]

I go sometimes. I don't go all the time. I like it a little bit, but

[B]

if you don't go, that's when you're getting. They're charging these people, like, 80 a class. If you don't go.

[A]

If you don't show up. Yeah, that's why I went. I went to Soul Cycle this morning because. And I did. I. I forgot to cancel it within the 12 hours. And I went. But I like that, because then it's like. Well, I forced myself to go.

[B]

You gotta.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Soul Cyclists make it a comeback too.

[A]

It is. It is amazing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I will love to take you to SoulCycle.

[B]

I'm gonna have to take a couple walks before.

[A]

You don't have to. You don't have to.

[B]

These stairs here.

[A]

No, I got. I mean, about 30, maybe stairs as well.

[B]

I mean, just pretty.

[A]

Soul Cycle is amazing. It's so much fun. And you don't have to do all the crazy stuff they're doing. Like, you can chill and, like, ride on the thing. We have a. At the NoHo location, there's a lot of comedians that go. We got me. We got Lisa Traegers over there, Caitlin Palufa. I'm trying to get Lizzie Cassidy involved. All right, well, if we're getting the

[B]

girls, if it's like a. If it's like a hang, then I'm in.

[A]

Right. We'll make it a hang.

[B]

We get drinks after.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely.

[B]

Perfect.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

So Red Iguana is a bar that. That Stuart tells me to go to every time I'm in.

[A]

It's the best Mexican food in the world. It's Red Iguana 2. There's two locations. The first one is randomly not better than the second location.

[B]

That's why.

[A]

So insane. So they're different. Like, there's a different vibe at each.

[B]

And there's a third one in the airport.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Yeah. No vibe there.

[A]

No vibe there. No, not a thing. Not a thing. But, yeah, these. No, it's not that I don't want people to know these things. It's just like, my life is so hard to explain because it's like, I'm from Arkansas. Nobody knows what Arkansas is like. Arkansas is random. Then I went to college in Utah, which makes no sense at all, but it's like when you audition for, like, theater schools, you kind of go wherever you get in. Yeah, it's like being a doctor.

[B]

No, seriously, it's like med school. It's like you go wherever you get in.

[A]

Well, yeah, and it's like. And my school wasn't even, like, that good of a school, but I got a little bit of money to go there. And my mom was very passionate about me going to a state school because it was like, you know, because of the sorority thing.

[B]

Well, yeah.

[A]

She was just like, don't go to a conservatory where you're not going to have, like, another degree.

[B]

I don't even know what that means.

[A]

Right. It's like a. Like a music school or something. You aren't going to get, like, so whatever. So that'll happen. And then I moved to New York, and then I've kind of always been like, okay, let's just forget about.

[B]

Start here.

[A]

Right? Yeah, let's just start over here.

[B]

Vibe. Like, you're just like, yeah, no, no, I just.

[A]

I was born in New York.

[B]

I came out at the age of 22.

[A]

I always say this to everyone. I'm like, pretend like I came out of a per. A shell. Like, just pretend like I came.

[B]

She came right from the East River, y'.

[A]

All. I was be like, when you meet me, just pretend that you picked up a shell on the side of the east river and you open. It was a pearl.

[B]

It was me.

[A]

It was there.

[B]

Nothing.

[A]

Nothing from the past. The past is all that. And then I tell my sister this, because my sister lives in London.

[B]

Oh, she did. She did the good old fashioned. You heard the British new.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

She's called British accent.

[A]

So my sister has a fake British accent. Now all of a sudden, my family's like Jemima Kirk. It's like one of us is country. One of us is in Utah. One of us. Our uncle lives in an airplane hangar, by the way, and gets like.

[B]

He lives inside of it.

[A]

Well, he actually just built the house, but he was living, like, in. In an airplane hangar situation. Now he's a sick.

[B]

You know, when your uncle lives in

[A]

it, sometimes people will build a home next to, like, the trailer kind of vibe, but it's like they're kind of Ballin now. So it's a different. It's a different thing.

[B]

That's so interesting.

[A]

But, yeah, and he gets, like, sugar gliders off the black market. And then my sister has a British accent.

[B]

Sugar gliders.

[A]

You don't know what sugar gliders are. They're like tiny flying squirrels. They are illegal to own. It's illegal to own them.

[B]

I thought it was like a candy.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no. It's an illegal. And he. My uncle had two, and their names were Trump and Hillary.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Classic.

[B]

Not, of course. Confusing.

[A]

No, it's confusing. It's confusing.

[B]

Which one does he favor more?

[A]

He was pro Trump originally. Yeah, that's a.

[B]

That thing's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know why he named them those names. Because he was pro Trump and he's very anti Hillary.

[B]

Flicking the other one. Yeah.

[A]

They were so cute, though. But they are illegal to own, so,

[B]

you know, and they don't fly away.

[A]

They'll fly around your house. Oh, my God.

[B]

It's like a flying rat. I don't like that.

[A]

I know, I know. It's interesting. It's a very interesting situation. You know, people in the. In the mid. In the middle of the country, people are buying crazy animals. Yeah, people are doing that.

[B]

I mean, we learned that 2020.

[A]

Tiger King.

[B]

Tiger King.

[A]

Tiger King. People are doing that a lot. A lot in the south, buying crazy animals and that are. I saw. I saw a woman at Buc Ees once. She had a raccoon.

[B]

What?

[A]

On a leash. But it was so cute. It was little, and she was like. It was in Texas.

[B]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

Also, someone recently told me about this crazy. There's, like. What's, like, the place where you buy, like, expensive sneakers.

[B]

Foot Locker.

[A]

No, it's like hypebeast. Kind of like.

[B]

Oh, yeah, the place in la.

[A]

It's like a online database where you can sell your jordans and stuff. StockX.

[B]

Stock.

[A]

So there's a stock. I can't believe I didn't know that. StockX. There is a StockX for snakes. Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I found out about this.

[B]

You know, this information.

[A]

Someone told me recently, and so I've been researching it.

[B]

Who the hell.

[A]

Actually, this guy I met this, like. It was a gay guy. Actually, it wasn't even anything sexual.

[B]

You need to know where you want to get an exotic snake. I'll tell you, girl. He told me.

[A]

He goes, you know, there's this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He goes, there's a stock X for snakes. And I go and look, and you can find like the most expensive one.

[B]

How much is running up?

[A]

They're expensive, these snakes. Like 50k.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

No. Yes.

[A]

And you can get other little reptiles on there. It's very interesting.

[B]

Oh my God. Where are these guys? Like in the middle of Times Square shelling out 50k for a snake to get pictures.

[A]

I know. You know what I mean, right? Well, those aren't even the good ones. I can tell from just looking, you know. Now, okay, now that I've been scrolling.

[B]

She knows a guy.

[A]

Now that I know a guy. But yeah, there's a Stockx or snakes. I'm like, there's so many random communities in the world, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Like there's a. Is it turns out pizza doesn't mean pizza. Like you don't know anymore.

[A]

You never know.

[B]

It's pretty crazy.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

Pretty crazy. Why are you making a face scary? It is scary.

[A]

Wait. Cuz it's pizza. Like Pizza Gate pizza's like.

[B]

Yeah, pizza's kids. My Tik Tok is all up right now.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

It's saying everything is wrong. Like it's. It's really. What's it saying? It's saying. It's saying that. That like everybody is a clone.

[A]

Oh, I know. I saw that. I haven't really tapped into the Jim Carrey as a clone thing. I don't.

[B]

Hailey Bieber's dad is going absolutely crazy being all cryptic and shit.

[A]

I didn't know that.

[B]

It's. He's freaking me out. Ellen DeGeneres killed everybody. That's what they're saying. They. She killed her ex girlfriend. She killed Spitty. What's his name.

[A]

Oh my God.

[B]

Twitch.

[A]

Oh, Twitch. Oh my God. I have a picture of me with Twitch.

[B]

No.

[A]

Yes. I was at a Broadway. I was at a Broadway show and Twitch was there and I took a picture of. It was right when he was on. So it was like right after. So you think you can dance? It was like a big deal.

[B]

Oh my God. That was cool.

[A]

I think it was in the Heights that we saw.

[B]

I love to hear that he was a fan of the arts.

[A]

Yeah, of course. Of course. I mean, he was an artist.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

I wonder if she killed Twitch. She loved him though.

[B]

I thought so. But that's the thing. That's the thing. It's not real. Like my TikTok's telling me this stuff.

[A]

I know it's crazy and it's really

[B]

crazy because it's like. Not to be tin hat about it, but like it's like we got war going on. The. The US like the Oracle people bought Tick tock. They're trying to confuse us.

[A]

They're trying to confuse us.

[B]

I'm not stupid, and I'm not stupid.

[A]

And here's. Here's one thing I won't do is go to the war.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, Try drafting me.

[B]

I tried it.

[A]

Here's the thing. I'm gold. All my friends like, oh, my God,

[B]

we're going to war.

[A]

I'm like, we're 30. You're not getting drafted.

[B]

What is draft cut off?

[A]

I think it's like, 28. I don't know.

[B]

I remember in high school, they were like, yeah, if you sign this, you automatically get put into the draft. 25.

[A]

Oh, we're good.

[B]

If you sign up for SATs, you automatically get put in the draft, I think is what it is.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

People were saying something along those lines. And I remember being like, I'm not really. I don't really want to do that.

[A]

This is. This is the problem with America is they want to make us dumb. And they have done it, and they've done it. And I was thinking this with all the bad bunny. I'm like, I can't believe we're, like, the only country that, like, brags about knowing one language. It's insane that none of us speak Spanish.

[B]

So stupid.

[A]

Like, it makes no sense.

[B]

It's literally. You sound like a clown.

[A]

I know. It's funny. It's funny with. It's like, we're the only country that brags about, like, be dumb as.

[B]

And we're the only country that doesn't give other options on signs.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Languages. I know. Like, that's so not fair. There's so many people that speak so many different languages here.

[A]

I know. But here's the thing. You know what? We have pop culture.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And we do it better than anyone. Yep.

[B]

You're all trying to be. Yes.

[A]

That's. That's where I'm like, okay. America does one thing well. It's like, create mentally ill pop stars that are amazing. We have great music, we have great TV shows. We have great comedy. We created musical theater.

[B]

Oh, you. Oh, you britch over there. You got nothing but copies on your Broadway shows. Your West End premieres.

[A]

Exactly. And the Brits will really fight you. They. Oh, they don't like us.

[B]

I don't give a. I know.

[A]

They do not. You're so Boston. You're so Boston.

[B]

Yeah. I'll dump your tea again with me.

[A]

I'll tar your ass.

[B]

You know, that's. They were doing that. They Were throwing tar in and tar and feathers. Tar and feathers.

[A]

They did that? Yeah. And, like, Huckleberry Finn, they did that.

[B]

Bring that back. Yeah. No, no, but they did it. Well, no, no, I'm talking about do it to the British. Oh, they started doing it. Yeah.

[A]

The Mormons did it, too.

[B]

I don't want that at all. I just. I just think we should do it to the British.

[A]

And that's all in the Music Man. I think they tarred and feathered someone.

[B]

What is the Music Man?

[A]

A musical.

[B]

Sorry. It's okay. Okay. I only know some.

[A]

No, yeah, the classics. The classics. Did you all. Did y' all go see Sick Six?

[B]

Yeah. I hated it.

[A]

You hated it?

[B]

I. I. Everyone told me I was gonna hate it.

[A]

I. I avoided it for, like, Pilates. I avoided it for years. And my. And my sister was like, you're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. You're gonna love it. And I'm like, I could just, like, watch Beyonce's Homecoming at home. Like, I don't need to, like, watch, like, a fake British musical like, version of this. I had a little bit of fun, and then some of the songs got stuck in my head. So I'm like, 50, 50 on liking it. But, yeah, technically, I didn't like it. Quote, unquote, quote.

[B]

We listened to some of the songs because they were on Tik Tok in, like, 2020, and so we knew some of the songs. Actually, most of the songs, which was actually very surprising. We're in the chairs, like, having a blast and. But I didn't know they were singing the whole time. That's always something. The thing about musicals that really me up.

[A]

We need subtitles.

[B]

I need, like, hey. Let's just say, hey, how are you? Not, hey, how are you? Like, I just, like, it's the whole time. It's literally the whole time. And they were British in the songs that I know right now. They're.

[A]

Because that was the bridge in Long island, you know, it started a. As a fringe show. It started the Fringe Festival.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yeah, it was like a little fringe show that, like, blew up, kind of.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah, I just. I didn't like it. I did. I. I literally, at the end of it, Nora goes, you hated that, right? I was like, yeah, let's leave.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you guys love Sunset Boulevard.

[B]

Hard.

[A]

That was amazing. That was amazing. The thing about Broadway, it's just, like, fun to go.

[B]

It really is.

[A]

And we do live here. It's like, we have to go.

[B]

And I do wish it was cheaper. I. I always thought that Broadway live there. Then you probably go all the time.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'm about. I'm on here about to start trading reptiles to get a rag time ticket. Like day trading. Day trading for a rag time ticket. Jesus Christ. Like, oh, my God.

[B]

How about it? Have you seen anything cool recently?

[A]

When I go visit my sister in the uk, they are so much cheaper there. And so I just saw Rachel Zegler in Evita and it was amazing over there. And I saw Six just now, but I saw it for free and my friend took me and I would not have paid for it. And then I'm dying to see Ragtime. I just haven't.

[B]

Six would have been fun on mushrooms.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

That's what. That was my takeaway.

[A]

Totally. And you know me and Caroline went to see Matthew Morrison. Yes.

[B]

And that. You guys. You guys did trims, right?

[A]

No, we did no shrooms. It felt you were sober and you

[B]

felt like you were.

[A]

We were literally sober and it felt like we were on stream mushrooms. Like I was crying, laughing so hard and like, amazing. And I'll never forget Caroline turning over to me and being like. Like, he's such. He's so in. He's such an inspiration. And by the way, it's like you

[B]

guys are lying through your teeth.

[A]

I say that I posted like 10 videos of him. None of them went viral. Everyone else's videos of him are going viral. I'm pissed. I'm like, what's a girl to do

[B]

to go, why else did I come here?

[A]

What's a gotta do to go viral? It's like, none of mine are going viral, girl. Caroline turned to me, she goes, I don't know why he's doing this because he. His voice sounds bad. It's cringe as hell. Like, the only reason he heard you guys.

[B]

I don't know why he's doing this. His voice sounds bad. That's like a drunk lady at a comedy show. I don't know why you're even up there. I'm funny.

[A]

Literally. Literally. We were kind of being like, we. And he was looking at us and we were laughing in his face like the whole time.

[B]

He made 911 about himself. Correct. I know.

[A]

And also, that's not a real. That's not a true 911 story.

[B]

Story.

[A]

It's like so not true. It's so clear that it's not true. It's like a combo. I mean, whatever.

[B]

Like, if you go see him the second day, he's like, wait.

[A]

He's like, and then I win it. Like, he makes up this whole story about his girlfriend cheating on him and him running around, but then it doesn't add. The timeline doesn't add up. As someone who's alive during 9 11, his timeline does not add up. But it is hilarious that he does the 911 story and then he gets on the ground and then sings Hairspray. It's amazing. It's amazing to see. But he just booked a Broadway role in Just in Time.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Which Jonathan Groff was doing. Now he's gonna do it. I'm like, it paid off.

[B]

Good for him. I know. Yeah, good for him. So it is an inspiration.

[A]

That's what makes me think, like, wow, Believing in yourself. And, like, he's so cringe. And he doesn't. Like, he never is rude about people making fun of him. He's still on camera every day.

[B]

He just eats it.

[A]

He eats it. I don't even think he likes it. Goes into his brain.

[B]

Special confidence.

[A]

Special confidence. It's amazing.

[B]

I usually say different word.

[A]

Yeah, it's amazing. He also talks about, like, how being famous is crazy. Like, it's so funny, you guys. It's so good.

[B]

That's really.

[A]

If it comes to your city, you got to go.

[B]

And then at one point, I don't know, was it you or Caroline said to the other, you need to stop laughing so hard.

[A]

Oh, my God. I don't. I think one of.

[B]

I. I think one of you.

[A]

I think we both would Went back and forth being like. Like, seriously. Because he was looking at us. We were sitting at this table, and we were, like, dying. And he could see because it was,

[B]

like, in a small.

[A]

It was like, small. Yeah. An intimate cabaret venue.

[B]

What's his name again?

[A]

Matthew Morrison.

[B]

Matthew Morrison. Matthew Morrison. Also his. A story that he told about 911. Sounds like the plot of that movie where it's fake.

[A]

I promise you, it's fake.

[B]

At the end, Robert Patterson just gets blasted.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. I remember that one.

[B]

I forget what it's supposed to put in. You just add the clip. We're not allowed to do that. All right, let's get into north. Yeah.

[A]

Let's do fun pop culture.

[B]

I don't want to be culture. Thanks.

[A]

I don't want to be so theatery.

[B]

And we're gonna. Well, the theatrics are there.

[A]

The theatrics are here, honey.

[B]

Now, when we see this picture, what do we think?

[A]

Yeah. So that's Jim Carrey. So, by the way, I have to recommend everyone needs to watch the movie, the number 23. Did you ever watch that movie? It's a crazy Jim Carrey movie, and it scared the out of me when I was young. I love this man. I love this man. He's lost it. I think he always had it. Lost it. I love him. I think he's a talent. I don't know what he's doing. I don't think it's a clone.

[B]

I think he's scary. I. I don't. I. Maybe he's, like, out here trying to speak some truth, but he's freaking me out.

[A]

He's freaking you out.

[B]

There's some people, when they talk, it makes me feel like it's gonna be contagious and I'm gonna go crazy. Yeah, that'. Him. Yeah. Like he feels like a venereal disease. Yeah.

[A]

I think he struggles with the psychosis of sorts, which a lot of people get. I mean, a lot of these comedy icons have psychosis to get them to where they were in the first place. So it's not really like they went crazy. I'm like, always had it. That's why they were like, you know, I don't know what he's done to the face. Men should not be getting plastic surgery, you guys. Men are meant to age. I hate it when men do it. It always up and then. If you're going to do this, don't step out of the house for, you know, a year or two.

[B]

Yeah. At least. Remember I've talked about this. At least.

[A]

At least. I mean, Zac Efron, he pissed me off with that too.

[B]

And you've got. What. What is. What's Gigi's mom's name?

[A]

Yolanda.

[B]

Bradley Cooper has Yolanda in his ear.

[A]

I know. Telling him to do. I know, I know. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

It's. It's out of control.

[A]

Okay, so this. Oh, this monkey. I mean, the videos. How cute are they? I mean, they're amazing. Now I'm jealous of him because

[B]

I

[A]

don't get along with my mom either, and I'm not viral, so. Yeah, that pisses me off.

[B]

Yeah, that monkey pisses me off.

[A]

That monkey pisses me off. And it's funny that, like, the, The. The people, the other monkeys are realizing that he's viral. That's very interesting study. Yeah. And my last thing that I have to say about monkeys, I don't really with monkeys. Like, I really think that they're scary. Like. Like they will rip your face off and stuff. I'm a little scared of monkeys.

[B]

What about. What about child actor monkeys?

[A]

Tonka I like Tonka. I like Tonka. But I get scared about all the, like, all the monkey stories when we were young. Like, really scared, like, because there's still animals, and I feel like they'll sn. Like, you know, they'll snap in a second. Like, I'm scared of monkeys a little bit. Also. They have 98. They're 98 of the same DNA as us. That's insane.

[B]

Other 2% is all whacked.

[A]

That other 2%, like, that's such a small percent. I, like, can't believe it. I'm like, let's put them to work, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Why aren't they working on an assembly line? Yeah, get them, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Forgive them a little banana to something.

[A]

Exactly, exactly. Let's put them. Let's put it to work. Let's get them.

[B]

Day trading is it Wasn't that e trade kids thing? That's, like, so easy a caveman could do it or something? Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah. Probably.

[B]

I don't know. I got. I got jokes on this guy. Oh, my boy.

[A]

My boy, my boy. I should have acted like him. God bless. God bless. We have. We can circle back on this, but I watched this interview. Watch the whole thing.

[B]

Oh, you watch the whole thing? Oh, yeah. Nora told me that you were. You were. You were sipping for it.

[A]

Yeah, I sipped. I. I cracked it. Brewski.

[B]

And I. Oh, my God. You don't even drink beer.

[A]

I know. And I wasn't drinkable. It was, like, the only. I have, like, like, four beers for, like, guests in my. It's like. Yeah, it's like a random ipa. A random, like, polish one. Like, a random Whatever. Random Peroni. Well, you're a great host. Exactly. So I never really drink the beer, but I have it there. And then he was talking about alcoholism, and I really hadn't drank all week, and I was being so good, and I was like, I have to crack a beer for this. Like, the way he was talking about alcoholism stressed me out so much, which. It's a really good.

[B]

Maybe need a drink.

[A]

Yeah. I literally, like, popped it. But the interview is crazy. I don't know if ethically it's right.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

But I love Shia. I love him so much. I grew up with him, you know, and so not.

[B]

No, he mentions that in the.

[A]

Yeah, he's my uncle.

[B]

That. Yeah. He said will Smith.

[A]

He said, I'm Will Smith.

[B]

I'm my uncle. He's everybody's uncle.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Especially mine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If I want to go take a picture with Him. He. He owes that to me.

[A]

Yeah. And I just love him.

[B]

I really.

[A]

I love him so much. I do think, yeah, he. He should be behind in a room, possibly.

[B]

Yeah, I think so too. Actually, on the subject, I do have a game.

[A]

Okay, okay, Okay.

[B]

I do have a game. Now, the game is Shy or Le Buff.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Now I'll give you. Wait for it. I'll give you a real quote, and you tell me if it was from Shia LaBeouf.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Or from my own personal journal that I'm too shy to talk about.

[A]

Okay. I love it. I love it. LaBeouf is Shia LaBeouf. And Shy is your journal.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, perfect.

[B]

For those of you watching at home, you can play along too.

[A]

Just pretend you're watching.

[B]

Door. And scream at the screen. Shall we begin?

[A]

I'm ready.

[B]

I wrote that. I wrote that in there. Shall we begin?

[A]

I love that. I love your notebook paper. It's like literally fourth grade. I'm obsessed.

[B]

One fell out, and I was like, ah, there goes the whole notebook.

[A]

There goes the whole notebook.

[B]

All right, first quote. Let her live. That's a good girl right there. That's one of the best.

[A]

Shia. Sorry.

[B]

LaBeouf. L' oef love.

[A]

I watched the whole interview. Don't test me. Next.

[B]

I wish she would just let me live. Live.

[A]

I actually think that's you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah, that's shy. And it's about Nora.

[B]

You gotta hit your head into the wall.

[A]

Harder.

[B]

Where you just go, this is a great game.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm a genius. This is what I was doing while everyone else was doing geology in space, studying. Shy quotes.

[B]

Shia is correct. My name has been smashed around and talked about so much. I would never do that to you. I finally reached the point. This is Grace. This is Shy. To move on. This is Grace.

[A]

Shy.

[B]

That is Grace. I gotta be honest with you. Big gay people are scary.

[A]

That's Shia, of course. Love that quote. That's one of my favorite quotes of the year 2026.

[B]

I can't believe I'm writing this again, but I'm pretty sure I'm gay, and I don't know if I'm.

[A]

That's my girl. That's my girl. That's Grace.

[B]

If that's homophobic, then I'm. That.

[A]

That's Shia LaBeouf.

[B]

Wrong. Both of us.

[A]

Oh, my God. That's homophobic.

[B]

It's not nice to hurt people. It's fucking lame. People got hurt. We got to deal with that. That. I' ma deal with that in full. I'll eat it all. But I'm never going to bash you online.

[A]

That's both you.

[B]

That's a half truth. It's both me and Shia kinda.

[A]

You and Shia kinda.

[B]

And that's been the Shia LaBeouf game.

[A]

Wow. I almost. I do everyone except for two of the both.

[B]

1. You got it, right?

[A]

I got almost everyone.

[B]

I mean. I mean, you totally got it. Hey, congratulations. Thank you so much for playing. I feel good.

[A]

Helps that I watch the whole interview.

[B]

It does. And I think. I think many more should. It's great entertainment. He's out of his mind. And it's very unethical.

[A]

Yeah, it's unethical, but it's so cool. And it's.

[B]

And it.

[A]

And I did. I did cry.

[B]

At what part?

[A]

I was very emotional. I'm a bit emotional about his journey.

[B]

One beer and you just started losing.

[A]

Literally. Yeah. Yeah, it was literally that. And. And he. He talks to like it was. I got just a little emotional thinking, like, it's. Well, he talks about, like, how he almost committed suicide at one point.

[B]

Like, see, I didn't watch it all the way through.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

I just watched the clip and that's what's wrong with society.

[A]

No, I know the clips. Like, really? I watched the clips too. The clips. I mean, watching it, I basically. I should rent out a theater and show it. I mean, dude, we just.

[B]

We just did. For Nor's birthday, we went to this, like, private theater place where you get to have dinner and you watch a movie right after, and it's all in the same room and oh, my God, I want to get the girls together. Oh, my God. You can pick whatever movie you want.

[A]

Wait, we have to do that?

[B]

Isn't that.

[A]

Should we just go watch Girl Interrupted?

[B]

Yes. And just absolutely go crazy. Like eight crazy girls. Eight crazy girls.

[A]

Wait, that's so fun.

[B]

Yeah. And it's unlimited drinks.

[A]

What movie did you guys see?

[B]

So up? Marty Supreme.

[A]

Oh, hell yeah.

[B]

Did you see that?

[A]

I saw Marty Supreme.

[B]

What'd you think?

[A]

You know what's funny about Marty Supreme? Is it.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's so much better if there's not a guy yelling at your ear, in your ear about what's good about it. You know what's crazy is that I liked it when I was watching it, I didn't love it. I felt stressed by the story. I really preferred the. I preferred uncut gems. Not to compare the. The work of the artists, the Safdie brothers.

[B]

It is like a little tip for tat there.

[A]

I know. I Need the Safdie brothers to cover my. My childhood so bad.

[B]

Yeah. That's the only time you'll share. Yeah. That is the only time where your story will be. Exactly. That'll be Pearl Shafty brothers are on the project. Exactly.

[A]

I'm like, they could really do my dad some justice. But so I didn't. I liked it kind of. And then as soon as I left, like, I was like, wait, I didn't like that. So I didn't like it.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't either.

[A]

But I love Timothy, like, acting his ass off. I thought he did. Yeah, I thought he did. Fantastic showcase for him, but absolutely.

[B]

And I, I. I love his. His whole, like, he's a very artist way thing going on.

[A]

Oh, I know it don't. I know it has.

[B]

Read that twice and check the box.

[A]

He is going full artist, artist way.

[B]

Really?

[A]

The captain of your fate. You can be the master yourself. You have to realize life comes through you and not at you. I was watching this Shia interview, and I'm like, timothy does sound a lot like Shia. I'm like, is he sort of, like, picking up some of. They call this a swagger. Swagger, jacking a little bit of Shia. What came first, the chicken or the egg? Or is this just how boys in Hollywood act?

[B]

I. I think that Timmy doesn't have it in him because he wasn't that much of a child actor. So I think he's gonna be all right when it comes to breaking at some point, but he might be taking little bits and pieces, you know? Imagine that Shia LaBeouf is your role model, Right? Yeah.

[A]

Can you imagine? Oh, God. The thing is with Shia is he really is the best actor. Like, it's, I think, crazy.

[B]

I mean, I really like everything that he's in.

[A]

Yeah, it's crazy because he's crazy, but he's scary. Like, if I was in the room with him, I would be very scared.

[B]

Yeah. So it's Jared Leto Shy LaBeouf. I'm gonna put Tom Cruise in there. You have any. Anyone else to throw in this boat?

[A]

I mean, there's a lot of people

[B]

that are Joaquin Phoenix.

[A]

Oh, Joaquin is so scary. So scary.

[B]

I. I was.

[A]

What do you think?

[B]

Once. His energy was weird.

[A]

You were next to him.

[B]

I was next to him one time.

[A]

I would be so scared, and he

[B]

had, like, this energy. I was like, I don't even want to look at him.

[A]

I would be so scared.

[B]

It was really scary.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'd be so scared. To be bone chilling bones and Johnny Depp Oh, Johnny Depp.

[B]

I kinda. He's. You want to get a view with him?

[A]

You want to get a view with him?

[B]

I kind of like with him. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Yeah. No, I, I. No, I. Once I found out he's out here hitting women, that was. I didn't like that at all. God, they all kind of are.

[A]

Yeah, they all kind of are.

[B]

I don't know who else is bad. Well, let's not harp on it.

[A]

Well, as. As I think of it though, I'll say.

[B]

I mean, there's just so many out there, you know.

[A]

Okay, so we did shy. Oh, that's scary. Stephen Baldwin. So such a scary person. I mean, the Baldwin family. What is going on there? They're like the. They're like the meth head Kennedys. What is going on?

[B]

They are the meth head Kennedy's is hilarious. I'm sorry, I. I didn't even hear that because.

[A]

Not even like meth, but like, but like psychosis. Kennedy's. It's crazy.

[B]

And they. Yeah. I mean, Alec is stuck in a trance.

[A]

Oh, God. Poor guy.

[B]

Well, I mean, ever since he killed somebody, I'm sure it's hard to move on. Let's do a reality show though. The.

[A]

Let's do. I don't know what's going on in that house. And they. You know, he hates those kids. 27.

[B]

He's like, is this my grandchild?

[A]

He has no idea their name. He has no idea their names. He's literally like looking around.

[B]

He thinks she's the housekeeper when she does the accent.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Well, I just mean who else would be claiming.

[A]

Oh, that's not.

[B]

My line is.

[A]

Oh, that's not. Okay. Stephen Baldwin. I mean, insane. Poor Haley. But she took care of this crazy so she can take care of our boy Justin, so.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's true. Honestly. Yeah, his. He. He's just posting really crazy tick tocks right now and they're all incredibly blurry. Yeah, I mean he was filming on like a. Like a sundial.

[A]

He's.

[B]

I don'.

[A]

Crazy for a while. He said the Trump. He got into Trump psychosis bad. He was. He. He was one of the OG celebrities. Celebrities. That was really Trump coded. So that makes sense.

[B]

Yeah, it does make sense. I guess. He. All of his comments on his tick tocks are like fully conspiracy. It's like reading like a. Like a.

[A]

It's amazing to see like a dark

[B]

web kind of oh, I can't wait kind of thing.

[A]

I want to go on his TikTok. I Poor Haley.

[B]

The what? Yeah, the one comment I saw was. Was, well, nothing you say matters because you sold your daughter. Sold? Sold.

[A]

Girl, she fought for that job. It was not a sale. That was a investment. That was a day trade. For years, she worked her ass there. That's what I'm trying to do. Exactly. And we'll see if it pays off. JFK Jr. And Carolyn Missette. Don't get me started on the Kennedy. As I know y' all are Boston girls.

[B]

Oh, you better watch your mom.

[A]

No, I love them. I love them. I really do. I love them.

[B]

I. That's like the. That's like talking bad on Princess Die In. In. In. In Britain.

[A]

Okay, I know. And here's. You know, I'm gonna say something really good.

[B]

Good.

[A]

I. I always. I'm like. I have a big obsession with the Kennedys. I love reading about them. I love reading about all the different. I. I love Jackie O. For a while, I didn't. I was such a. Like, Maryland head that I, like, didn't think about Jackie.

[B]

Oh, you prefer the slut.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But now I've turned back around anyways, what I'll say about this show. Are you watching?

[B]

Oh, my God, I'm watching.

[A]

Okay, so George. The magazine was a good idea.

[B]

It was a good idea.

[A]

An incredible idea. I can't believe they treated him like it was a bad idea. Have you gone and looked up covers from George? Like, I'm about to buy some old George's on ebay and put them with my renovation. Ben Stillers on a cover. They have Barbra Streisand on a cover. Like, the COVID covers are iconic. So cool. Politics making it. It was ahead of his time.

[B]

Because now politics are kind of flashy.

[A]

I know. Imagine how our country would be different if. If George had lasted. Imagine.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like, it was just a really cool idea. I think it was so ahead of its time. It really was really sad. Now this one's so hot. Who's playing him? I actually don't think his acting's that bad. Everyone's saying it. So bad.

[B]

No, I think it's good.

[A]

I'm like, he's hot. I don't care.

[B]

I do wish that blondie, Ms. Ms. Caroline was our friend. Caroline.

[A]

I agree.

[B]

Who auditioned.

[A]

And I've been talking to Caroline about this, and she's like, it's hard. And I'm like, I know you. I know. I wish it was Caroline, too. But I thought I said Caroline. If it's not this, it's something better. You know what I mean, this girl has a lot of eyes on her right now. You know, it's hard to be in a Ryan Murphy show. It's like you're. You're always towing a line.

[B]

He hasn't completely it up yet for me.

[A]

Yeah, usually.

[B]

Usually.

[A]

Usually by episode three, you're, like, turning it off.

[B]

It's like. Well, it's just crazy to me because he's doing these real life accounts and making up. Like, nobody knows what Jackie O was up to in her little apartment.

[A]

I know. The Camelot thing is so overplayed. It's. Every time they do Jackie, she's, like, drinking and watching Camel. I'm like, please.

[B]

It's like, put her in Greece.

[A]

Anyway, so if Caroline will get something better than this, I think now what they've done to Daryl Hannah in this show is beyond reproach. Why does Ryan Murphy hate Daryl Hannah that much to make her act like that? Like, what did Daryl Hannah do? Jesus Christ.

[B]

She is also. I'm not gonna be ageist, but, like, I am. She looks a thousand years old.

[A]

Yeah, no, yeah, totally.

[B]

And I just. I'm not understanding any of this.

[A]

I'm not. It's not connecting. I don't know if it's the direction or what's going on. And that actress is Ernest Hemingway's like, granddaughter or something.

[B]

There it is.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Nepo after Nepo after Nepo, Nepo after Nepo after Nepo.

[A]

But, yeah, I am loving the show. I'm loving seeing everyone's content too. Everyone trying to be Carolyn. It's hilarious.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

These little.

[B]

I saw. I saw her Tik Tok and all these little. Are in, like, a store in the West Village.

[A]

Co. Bigalow. Yeah, they're all shopping there. And I. It.

[B]

I.

[A]

It crossed my mind. I'll be honest. I was like, that had it crossed my mind to stop it and get a little headband. But I was like, no, let me not do it. But because I'm. I mean, Caroline Bissette would have hated me so much.

[B]

No, she would not, actually.

[A]

No, she would have been like. She would have been like, I have ghb.

[B]

Yeah. Literally, she's like, I was a little crazy before.

[A]

All she wanted to do is hang out with gays and this man.

[B]

Yeah, you guys would be two peas in a box.

[A]

I know. We'd be at the boiler room.

[B]

But we have Jack.

[A]

We have Jack. And I've been watching Jack's career for. Since the day he was on the news with his mom. And do you remember his Instagram used to be crazy when he would do the Alphabet letters office. He needs to bring back George.

[B]

He should bring back George.

[A]

I know.

[B]

We gotta get him, we gotta get a sit down.

[A]

He's running around. I've seen him biking in New York.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Know.

[A]

Yeah. Also I. One other thing I'll say about jfk,

[B]

he wears a helmet.

[A]

He does wear a helmet.

[B]

He does.

[A]

Another thing I'll say about JFK Jr. It is a big part of his lore that like he was biking around like crazy during that time. I have two more things. I have two other things to say. He was biking around like crazy at the time and he would get. Buy a new bike. Like every his. He would just leave his bikes and then it would get stolen and then he would.

[B]

He did put that in the show.

[A]

Yeah, and they kind of put that in the show. And a lot of people have accounts of like, my mom got hit by like he would hit people on his bike all the time. He would just like, like so many people have these iconic stories like JFK Jr hit me with his bike.

[B]

Where was he going so far?

[A]

I think he was just like manic, like biking through the streets. And anyways, I was thinking, I'm like, I don't really blame. If I was rich as I think I would get and I really wanted to bike, I think I would just leave it and buy a new one too. Locking up your bike.

[B]

Endless. But no, because it's still so inconvenient to have to go buy a new bike. True. You know what I mean? Lock it.

[A]

I remember when I had, I did, I, I, I was a performative Brooklyn for two years and I had a bike and I remember a beach cruiser. Oh my God. No, I had like a real, like a real road one. But I would, I, I would have a beach cruiser with like a basket with daisies.

[B]

Biking through Washington right behind you on a bmx. Literally, like we got Jack Schlossberg on my pegs.

[A]

That would be so funny if I, if I hop around on a beach cruiser. That'd be hilarious. But the thing is, in the farmer's market. Yeah, literally right here. The thing is in New York, your wheels gets. My seat got stolen 10 times. My wheel, like, they'll just take different pieces off. And locking it up took like 10 minutes. I was like, oh my God. And then you got to do the chain around the thing and then that thing. So I get him, I feel him on that for not doing the thing.

[B]

So he was crashing his bike a lot.

[A]

That's yeah, he was running the town. Yeah.

[B]

It's too bad they weren't on a bike when it happened, you know?

[A]

Know, I'm so glad that they fought in NoHo all day. That one day.

[B]

I haven't watched that episode yet.

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, it's like famous from the paparazzi photos.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But basically they just. There was a whole day where they just fought in Noo. And I'm like, what? Thank you guys for doing that. Like, they could have fought inside and instead like to fight outside. And it's like, I don't like to fight outside publicly. For us all, like, like, what an amazing news day. Them. I mean, the 90s news must have been so much fun. I'm always so upset that I don't like to get on, like, a nostalgia kick, but I wish that I lived in New York in the 90s with like, no, no cell phones. Like, with landlines.

[B]

Literally walking to the newspaper stand and getting my news from the newspaper. I want to do that so bad.

[A]

The way I would have come home from work, click, click, clacking. And then I would have gotten a pint of Ben and Jerry's. And then I would have gotten a. I would have been living in probably the same apartment I live in now, working the same job I do now. And I would have gotten a little newspaper with all the pictures. I would have gone home and then called my friend on the landline.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And then we would have just gabbed all night.

[B]

And if she didn't answer, leave a voicemail.

[A]

Leave a voicemail.

[B]

Voicemail. When you get home, check your voicemail. I want to get a landline.

[A]

And then, and then you have to hang up. You have to hang up to see if someone else is calling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? Like, you have to be like, oh,

[B]

now I'm, you know, now I gotta. Okay, let's wait. Let's wait for someone to call me.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Oh, my God. I'll call you. Okay, you call me or I'll call you. Oh, I'll call you.

[A]

Oh, I'll call you. You don't know.

[B]

Know. So you're just like, waiting all the time.

[A]

So you're waiting by the phone, and

[B]

then when you get home from work, you see there's a one voice memo. And it's from the credit card companies.

[A]

Exactly them.

[B]

And it's like, what a let down.

[A]

You're like, no, but like, at least

[B]

every day is a surprise.

[A]

I love that. And you're like, yeah, I just think that Sounds so much fun. Anyway, so I was just. Oh, when I watched that episode of them fighting in NoHo, I was like, oh, I really was just imagining my whole day of, like, coming home, getting a little wine, getting a little Ben and Jerry's sitting my apartment.

[B]

Maybe have a cat take out with a real takeout box take out with, like, a chopsticks.

[A]

Like, and I have a pink little, like, cord phone. And I just call my friend, and we're like, what are they fighting about? Oh, my God. He said they weren't together. Now they're together. Carol. Oh, she's beautiful. Like, we'd be like. Me and my friend would both be, like, dieting, too, but we'd be, like, eating Ben and Jerry. Yeah. Not telling each other, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Like, how's the diet going?

[A]

Great. So good.

[B]

Let's just write a rom com. No. Yeah, let's just write a 90s Rom com.

[A]

I'm ready to do that. I mean, so.

[B]

Oh, we need it.

[A]

I know we haven't had.

[B]

We haven't had a girly pop romcom. And I know forever in a day.

[A]

I know we need a good one. I'm trying.

[B]

I think we just write it set in the 2000s. Like, how it was when they were making.

[A]

We should do the Robert Pattinson movie, but girl version. And then at the end. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, show me more. Oh, my God. These ruin. I can't believe Connor's story did this. And I got. I got. I asked for tea from people who were at the after party.

[B]

Said, I asked Connor directly.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I asked. That must have been a fun after party. Who went?

[A]

I know some. Some people went all, like, industry people, but, like, I wanted to go, obviously, so bad, but I. They said all night he was talking to the hockey boys, so I'm like, I wonder what he was talking about with them. But. And chain smoking, love. Obsessed. Obsessed. How dare they make the girls do this? This. They don't. The boys don't deserve to be up there. I think it was just, like, a

[B]

nice, easy way of being, like, they're

[A]

trying to heal America. This is so funny. Like, this is gonna be in history books of, like, this is how we.

[B]

This is how.

[A]

This is the craziest year ever. Jim Carrey was a clone. This guy was a waiter. And then blew up out of nowhere from a gay sex show that had, like, a zero budget. Then the hockey teams won for the first time ever, and the boys made fun of the girls. And then we, as a country had to watch them bond. Together on snl. And the history books will be like, how that show's still running. I can't believe it.

[B]

And not only at night did these guys make up. And in the morning, Trump started a war.

[A]

And then the next morning, we had the Iran war. I mean, how crazy. Never a dull day. Never a dull day. See, back in the 90s, they didn't have all this. They just had a couple fighting in bikes.

[B]

Yeah, dude, they were, like, walking around like it was fucking Emerald City.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Okay, let's.

[A]

Oh, stop. I see who you're about to put up. That's my boy. That's my number one crush. That's my number one crush. I'm in love with him.

[B]

Makes Chat look like a superstar.

[A]

And you guys know he's working on country music now. And so my. One of my besties, Zaina, has a she. He is her number one. He's kind of my number, like, top five.

[B]

But I would love to get him on here.

[A]

Oh, he is amazing. He is so amazing. And he has new music out. He's country singing now. And it doesn't sound bad. We were sending it to each other. It doesn't sound bad.

[B]

It doesn't sound bad.

[A]

I know he's serious about sobriety. That. I'll give him that.

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

He's very serious about that. And he's really on the God tip. And, you know, I met his baby mama at the airport.

[B]

Really? Yeah.

[A]

Baby mama, this, like, girl who's so nice and cool, but she. We were. I was at the airport. I was going to Greece this summer, and we had to transfer it.

[B]

She was a. A Harlem Globetrotter.

[A]

It was crazy. And by the way, I'm paying for it. It now, financially.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You kind of put yourself in a hole.

[A]

The truth is, I never, ever, ever went on a vacation, ever, for, like, literally six years. And then I had just one year where, like, people were, like, inviting me to their 30s and weddings, and I was.

[B]

It happens fast. That's what people say. It's like all of a sudden, you're. You've. You've never been invited to a wedding. You. You have to get five weddings the next year.

[A]

Oh, it's so. Oh, my God.

[B]

13 bachelorette parties.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Invited to the rest of the wedding. Weddings. If you're going to five weddings.

[A]

I know. Exactly, exactly, exactly. But anyways, we were at the airport, and we started hanging out with this girl, talking to her, and she was there with her daughter.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Did I Tell you this story. She was there with her daughter. And I kind of knew. The daughter was. Looked like an EPO baby. Like, the daughter just looked a little too cool to be a child at the airport.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? And she had the vibe. Yeah. She had it going on. So then basically, we're talking to the woman, whatever. Then we end up being like, okay, bye. We're all gonna hang out. We're gonna hang out. Oh, my God. We're going to have fun. Because they had been stuck in New York. Whatever. And we get off the plane, and it's Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. And then I did some research, and it's. It's. That was Chet Hanks's daughter. No, I know. It's crazy.

[B]

How old was the daughter?

[A]

I think 12.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

She was, like, old enough to kind of talk to us.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Like, was she like. She's like.

[A]

I thought maybe, like, 13 or 14.

[B]

Okay, word.

[A]

Like, maybe like, eighth grade vibe.

[B]

And it's so funny because celebrities, they're just like us. They've got a tiny little plane to get to the. The little island.

[A]

I know. And it was crazy.

[B]

Yeah. That is pretty wild.

[A]

But I kind of knew. I was like, that daughter is somebody. Just the way she had. I mean, she was, like, in, like, chrome hearts.

[B]

I forget. It was.

[A]

Was Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson is his or his parents.

[B]

Yeah, but were they with the daughter or. You saw them when she.

[A]

No, they were picking them up. Like, we were basically, like, going to a different. Like, we were with them at the Athens airport, and then we went to this other island, and then they were there, and they were, like, there at the door when we walked in. And I didn't even know it was them. I was like, that woman looks like Rita Wilson. And then it was.

[B]

And that guy looks like America's dad.

[A]

And that guy looks like. Well, he didn't look like Tom Hanks.

[B]

Oh, he looks old. Is he a clone now?

[A]

It was giving.

[B]

Clone. Oh, you know what? I'd like to. I like to hear him. That he's getting old. Someone needs to get old.

[A]

Yeah, he was getting very old. I was like. I did not really. It was him. Okay, show me more. Show me more.

[B]

Let me see, Let me see.

[A]

Sorry. You know, I blab so much.

[B]

No, no, no. I love to blab.

[A]

Is that Bob Dylan? Oh, yes. Bob Dylan just started the podcast. I thought that was Bob Dylan. From my angle, he looks like Bob Dylan. I can't. Okay, listen, stop it's grossing me out. Okay, listen, listen. I. I have famously.

[B]

Really?

[A]

The bottoms of my feet are an issue.

[B]

They are.

[A]

I think, as white people, they are.

[B]

It is. Oh, yeah.

[A]

All of us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I have a callous sort of issue that I do have to take care of every day. So I felt a little bad for him. I felt like, damn, he got caught. And you know him, he's probably trying to, like. He probably walked outside and, like, is pretending to grow a bird or something.

[B]

Yeah, he's probably slain. There's a bird.

[A]

He's definitely performatively growing tomatoes and. And went outside to check on them. That's what's happening here.

[B]

Stop it with my feet. Look.

[A]

It's so bad. It's really so bad. I can't even get over it. Like, oh, my God. And what do you think? Do you think that they are a love match? Lil Dicky, Selena. And is that not Benny Blanco?

[B]

Well, Betty Blanco started a podcast with Lil Dicky.

[A]

Really?

[B]

So I thought that that was what you were talking about.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

They're unsure.

[B]

I think they're a better love match than him and Selena.

[A]

Yeah. You don't think they're gonna work?

[B]

I think they have playful fun together. And him and Selena. I don't know. Leave Selena alone.

[A]

Oh, your team. Selena.

[B]

I don't know. Selena. Go. Was. She's bipolar, so my eyes. I was like. I kind of, like, feel for her.

[A]

I know I feel for her, but sometimes it's like, Selena.

[B]

It's like that documentary was really bad. I don't know how they even ever greenlit that ever in my life.

[A]

That was really rough.

[B]

I was like, that is a bad look.

[A]

She also, like, literally compl. I hate when people have. Have so many things and complain and you know what?

[B]

Actually, I'm a Selena hater lately. It's like talking.

[A]

What do you think is going on? What do you think is going on?

[B]

She got that. That morphine drink trip going on. That's a good impression.

[A]

Yeah, she's like, talking. It's like very. I wonder what is happening.

[B]

Things with me and Benny are actually really good. Yeah, I, I. No, it's actually really amazing.

[A]

She's like warbling her voice. I wonder what happened. I wonder if she got some sort of of. You know, people are getting. You know. You saw Emma Stone's new head.

[B]

Well, yes. I got jokes on that.

[A]

Okay. Okay, good.

[B]

I've got jokes on that.

[A]

Well, I wonder if maybe she got some sort of. Because, you know, people are getting every crazy Thing.

[B]

I wonder if something, like, all, like, everyone's starting to morph into each other. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Everyone is a clone. It.

[A]

Yeah. We're all clones.

[B]

You got me.

[A]

Yeah. The feet are bad. I'm curious what will happen with him and her, because I do believe in marrying someone uglier than you.

[B]

Yeah. You know, of course.

[A]

For sure.

[B]

Especially if they're a good time.

[A]

Yeah, if they're a good time. And he's very talented, and women do that, historically. Yeah, of course.

[B]

I mean, that's kind of the only option.

[A]

That's literally our only option.

[B]

Kind of it.

[A]

That's literally our only option. So I'm curious to see if they'll last or not. I mean, there's no way. But in Hollywood. Okay. Do you have more for me?

[B]

Let's see. Let's say. Let's see.

[A]

I love these. Y' all have a printer?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love that now. Okay. Oh, my God.

[B]

This.

[A]

Oh, I. Oh, God. You know, her and her daughter are making a lot of money on only fans.

[B]

Yeah, they sure are. I. No. Never did I ever think of. Well, of course it makes sense, but never would I ever.

[A]

My whole life, my Sisyphus is just like, do I start in only every single day, I'm like, do I just do it? You guys seen the scene of him in Beverly Hills when he's talking about his company?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's like, my favorite thing to watch.

[B]

Oh, my God. And he's also, like. He's about to, like, fire off, and she's like, we're gonna go home.

[A]

We're gonna go home. Yeah. That was so scary.

[B]

And then she just has to.

[A]

He.

[B]

Yeah, he rips her, and she just has to, like, add in with him, because that's, like, if she doesn't agree, then she's in trouble when she gets home.

[A]

I know. I really feel for Denise because she chooses really. She. It's. She's so beautiful, so talented, has everything she could want, and she just will always make bad love decisions. And that just makes me. I just. Oh, I just. It makes me so sad for her. And, you know, her friends are like, denise, please.

[B]

Like, I mean, you know, on Beverly Hills, they're talking about, like, they. They bring it up. They're like, oh, my God. Sorry. Like, we had no idea that was going on. And then they're talking about it, and then Erica comes in, and she says. She's like. Like, I went through the same thing.

[A]

That was shocking.

[B]

And what's her face? Satin. Sutton's Going.

[A]

Sutton is exactly like my mom. You guys, I cannot. He's kind of a picture when he is like that. She is so like that. But my mom also really reminds me of Sutton's mom, too. So it's like.

[B]

It's a weird.

[A]

It's a weird Reba.

[B]

Well, I'll say.

[A]

You.

[B]

You are not Sutton if your mom is Reba. You are not sudden.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have nothing. I'm Jennifer Tilly. Honey, I'm Lisa Rena. Jennifer Tilly.

[B]

Cusp.

[A]

I love Jennifer Tilly so much.

[B]

I love her, too. And, yeah, I do understand her getting mad at Sutton.

[A]

Oh, my God. I would have said the same thing.

[B]

You, Kyle. Yeah, you, Kyle, for telling on her, Kyle.

[A]

Pisses me. That's a. She needs to. You and her need to do journal entries about coming out of the closet because what is going.

[B]

It's about damn time, baby.

[A]

Okay, I just want to say my Bravo take. Do your listeners watch Bravo a lot, you think? Probably.

[B]

Them.

[A]

Them.

[B]

I.

[A]

So, Morgan Wade, Kyle's girlfriend, I just know that she put Sutton or put Kyle through the ringer.

[B]

Oh, 100%. Now she feels, like, embarrassed.

[A]

Oh, my God. She changed Kyle's, like, life, like. Like she and Morgan. I. I listen to Morgan's music sometimes. I keep up with her. I kind of think she's hot.

[B]

She Australian. I think she's hot.

[A]

No, she's, like, super Southern. She's crazy. Workouts covered in tattoos. Nashville girl. And she. She kind of looks Australian, you're right. But I think she put Kyle through a lesbian. Like. Like, everything. Like, yeah, blue is the warmest color.

[B]

Ringer.

[A]

And Kai, it's gonna take a while for Kyle to get over that. And I wonder if she's still kind of hooking up with her.

[B]

She's an absolute denial, Kyle, though. She, like, every time someone says she's divorced, she's, like, separated.

[A]

Yeah. And I'm like, why is she choosing to be on the boy's side so harshly? I don't. Kyle's been bothering me for a while,

[B]

and she used to be my favorite.

[A]

She was the realest.

[B]

I know this. In the game.

[A]

She used to be the realest. Oh, my God. When her and Lisa Vanderbilt used to run around and giggle. It's like, though, when they showed that clip of, like, back in the day when they were showing her house.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was like, whoa, talk about nostalgia. Like, the new girl. Imagine being in your life.

[B]

Life now.

[A]

When you had remembered those days, I would be pissed. I'd Be like, we used to have it all at the Black and White party.

[B]

Like, truly and honestly. It's like, oh, my God. It's night and day too.

[A]

I know.

[B]

The. The show is, like, literally struggling. Like, they. They might not renew it.

[A]

I know. I can't even believe I'm watching. I told myself I wouldn't, and then I turn it on.

[B]

Oh, I can't help myself. I love it.

[A]

I can't help myself either.

[B]

Beverly Hills is one of my favorite ones.

[A]

I know. It's fun to watch. Just colors and shapes moving and time, you know, in that way.

[B]

Especially Kathy Hilton.

[A]

I know. She is a one to watch.

[B]

Power went out of my house. I have to come to yours and use your hair straightener.

[A]

You know, I met Paris Hilton once.

[B]

What?

[A]

I made her a smoothie. No way, you guys. Okay, this is my favorite story. So I was working at the smoothie bar at Barry's Boot Camp, at the gym, and Paris Hilton walked in, and I was literally like, I'm the biggest Paris. Paris. Paris fan ever. Simple Life was shot in Arkansas. Anyways, I say, oh, this is him working at the smoothie bar. Paris Hilton walks in. She's tiny. And I'm like, oh, my God, she's tiny.

[B]

And I picture her, like, seven foot tall.

[A]

No, she's tiny.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

So tiny. She walks up to the smoothie bar, and she's, like, looking at the menu. And I said. I said to her, I'm like, you are tiny. She was like, that's what everyone tells me. And I was like. I was like, yeah. She was like, I wear heels all the time. And then she was, like, asking me questions about the workout. She's like, I would never. I could never do that workout, but I think I'm going to get a smoothie. I was like, you should. We talked for, like, 10 minutes. She was like.

[B]

She went into bar boot camp to go get a smoothie, then just be

[A]

like, didn't work out.

[B]

That's really embarrassing.

[A]

I remember seeing her body and being like, she would not be able to work out. Like, she. Her legs were, like, tiny. And she orders a smoothie, and I make it for her, and she takes a sip, and then she's like, is. We were kind of, like, hanging out, doing, and she's like, oh, my God, is there cinnamon in this? And I was like, yeah, that's like the main ingredient. There's a ton of cinnamon. And then I start freaking out. I'm like, are you allergic to cinnamon? She's like, no, no, no, no, no. Like, I'm not, but I just really don't like it. And I'm like, girl, I'll make you another. I'll be here all day. Like your parents. I'll be here all day.

[B]

Like, everyone can wait the second.

[A]

Yeah, I don't give a. So then we had this one smoothie that was like a fat burning lemonade, and it literally made you your pants.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Yeah, it had, like.

[B]

You gave Paris diarrhea.

[A]

Well, she. Well, so it had, like, l carnitine in it. So she's looking at it. She's like, what else should I get? I'm like, well, that one. Like, what is crazy? It has l carnitine in it. She's like, what does that do? And I go, it makes you your pants. And she was like, I want it. And then I made it for her. And then we start talking. I start basically telling her how I never wear heels. And then she's like, you should wear heels more. And then she tries to pay. And I'm like, you're not paying, obviously. And then she tipped me, I think, like, $50 or something crazy. And then as she was leaving, she was like, bye. I'll see you later. Don't forget to wear heels more.

[B]

And I was like, that is awesome.

[A]

I was like, I can die, dude.

[B]

That is sick.

[A]

It was so sick.

[B]

Oh, my God. And then. And then, like, it cuts to you. Like, three months later, you're at the smoothie bar wearing heels.

[A]

Wearing heels. I know. And they're like, paris said she was coming back.

[B]

I know.

[A]

And by the way, I never. Paris. I'm sorry. I never did start wearing heels. I just can't do it. I don't.

[B]

Like, heels are from Paris. Yeah, that's about it.

[A]

Exactly. I'm trying to be smaller. I'm not trying to be.

[B]

Oh, my God. I mean, I'm already looking down on these hoes.

[A]

Exactly, Exactly.

[B]

So Stuart and I have a fun little surprise for you guys. Now we're gonna do our version of Weekend Update date. We have it all written down on our phones. We wrote these jokes today, and if they don't hit, they don't hit.

[A]

If they don't hit, they don't. I'm really bad at this.

[B]

But we're gonna try this out and give it a whirl ski.

[A]

All right, let's do it. Okay, I'm gonna go first. Connor's story was on SNL this weekend. To which women everywhere said, wait, that show's still on? How do I watch it? Can you stream it. The last time I watched that show is at my dad's apartment I was forced to go to on custody weekends.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I'm gonna craving an uncooked hot dog and a can of chicken noodle soup. Snl. You know who's laughing during snl? The people on snl. What happened to not breaking for laughter? Y' all are the only ones laughing.

[B]

The 2026 Winter Olympics have concluded, but the headlines haven't. Between Norwegian cheaters and badass figure skaters, the world is still buzzing off the those games. Like the Olympic village running out of 10,000 condoms, for example. I'm not sure why this is news or why they would even use such a thing. Imagine the babies these Olympic grade athletes could make. It's like breeding a new cast for Amazon's hit show Gen V.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

I also want to use this time to speak directly to Canada. Sorry for your loss. Not the hockey game. We kind of lost that too. The women won, but we lost the respect for the men. The loss I'm talking about is the loss of your teen pop star diva queen Tate McCrae. She switched sides by doing an ad for the US team. I know you guys are upset, but y' all know she Canada down. I think it's only fair that when you lose a Canadian, we gift you a US citizen. So may I offer you Shia LaBeouf.

[A]

Southwest Airlines has finally added a signed seating to which the pilots and the flight attendant said, whatever.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

That was fun.

[B]

Shia LaBeouf did a sit down interview with Andrew from Channel 5, giving a sneak peek into the mind of the one kid from high school that did acid too young and is stuck in a permanent trip. Shia claims he is scared of gay people, to which Elijah Daniels responded, then why did this dude invite me to sing at his birthday party? This is real. This is all very confusing seeing how Elijah Daniels rapper name is Lil Fag. That's true. That's just what it is.

[A]

Shia LaBeouf recently became Catholic and said he was homophobic. Buddy, Catholic is the gay one. Shia LaBeouf. Shia LaBeouf says he's gonna go to Italy, to which the country of Italy says, when you hate women, your family

[B]

Mia More.

[A]

Mia. Mamma mia.

[B]

Mamma mia. Shia later said that when he's standing by himself and three gay dudes are rubbing his leg, he gets scared. It's interesting this scenario happens often for Shia and not once in this week's episode of snl hosted by Connor Story. That's perfect.

[A]

That's Perfect. Amanda Seyfried said she recently used a prosthetic butthole to which the heated rivalry. Boy says, we can do that. Amanda Seaford is used to working with fake. She just did the housemaid with Sydney Sweeney.

[B]

Got him. Drag Makeup star Alexis Stones claims to have impersonated Jim Carrey in Paris, leaving viewers wondering if there will be a sequel to the 1994 classic film the Mask. The only question is, will it be spelled mask or masc?

[A]

It's a gay joke industry is getting its final season, citing the reason we've literally done everything else. Sex, sexually.

[B]

The actor awards were on Netflix last Sunday, and although Jacob Elordi played a deformed figure, critics pointed out that many of the other actors in attendance may also have some staples in their face recently. And I think I know a little man child lad that's behind the mogging fad.

[A]

Love story on FX just dropped. People are struggling whether it's too offensive to Daryl Hannah. Damn, they made her weird. Ryan Murphy. If you piss off every old actress and closeted gay kid, who's gonna do your show?

[B]

The fun. The funniest part about the actor awards to me was when the female actors of the Office appeared. I just know. The women in the group chat were texted asking each other, what should we wear? Mindy suggested mother of the bride attire. The group agreed, followed through, and Mindy Kaling Kardashian pulled a mean girl pivot. Those are fucking awesome, man.

[A]

We did it.

[B]

We did it. Alright, well, this week we're not doing disgrace. We're still seats because as you've heard, Stuart was born out of a half shell.

[A]

Out of a clamshell.

[B]

Absolutely. Stuart, thank you so much for coming on.

[A]

Thank you so much for having me. I love it here. I loved it. We're in the 90s.

[B]

We literally adore you. And I can't get out of this anchor voice.

[A]

Yeah, me neither.

[B]

Signing off. That's it. That's all I said.

[A]

I was trying to think of something down to St. Louis. God.

[B]

Oh, oh. Please add, add and say anything you want right into this camera right here. Plug, plug your damn self.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. I'm on the road. I'm coming to a lot of different cities with Gabby, Brian with Hannah Burner. Check out my Instagram at Stuart and Chill and follow me on Tik Tok. I have like no Tik Tok followers and I'm out there. I'm posting every day something crazy. So follow me on Tik Tok and Instagram @st and Chill thank you. Bye.

[B]

We love you.