STFU and Prank Calls with Dylan Kevitch

Summary

Podcast Summary: Disgraceful with Grace O'Malley

Host: Grace O’Malley (Unwell)
Guest: Dylan Kevitch
Episode: "STFU and Prank Calls with Dylan Kevitch"
Date: December 11, 2025

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Overview

This episode of Disgraceful features comedian and viral prankster Dylan Kevitch as he joins Grace O’Malley in the Big Apple studio for an audition to be her permanent co-host. Together, they dive into Dylan’s eccentric online persona, discuss their love/hate relationship with nightlife and reality TV, share wild stories from their careers, and, as promised, deliver plenty of laughs through games and live prank calls for listeners.

The energy is fully unfiltered, blending stories about social media, nightlife, comedy, and internet celebrity with moments of genuine heart. Grace’s sister Nora makes brief appearances as "HR," and the episode ends in an outpour of mutual admiration and dream-setting.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Disgraceful Receipts: Dive Into Dylan's Social Media

[03:00 – 17:35]

• Grace and Nora put Dylan on the spot by pulling up old Instagram pictures and posts, prompting candid and hilarious explanations:
  • First Instagram post & nose job:
    Dylan opens up about getting a nose job as a college freshman:

    "So, like, my nose started growing faster than me... we chopped that shit down and stopped it." (Dylan, 03:39)

  • Cruise ship dancing career:
    Dylan recounts being a performer on an Alaskan cruise ship, noting depression and the oddity of dancing for an audience mostly "about to croak."

    “It was a Holland America line, and it was mostly just grannies... We were just filled with all these old ghosts." (Dylan, 10:13)

  • Philly vs. NYC Pride:
    The difference between Philadelphia and New York City’s Pride parades, with Philly described as "letting our hair down... peeing all over each other and we're it up." (Dylan, 12:12)
  • Celebrity connections and chaos:
    Dylan reveals that his cousin dated Camila Cabello, leading to the family being targeted by rabid pop fans.

    “My mom got death threats. These fans are crazy.” (Dylan, 15:12)

  • Fashion Week & Kylie Jenner:
    The surreal transition from industry events to afterparties with Kylie.

    “I actually can’t believe that happened. Like, that’s crazy. I still don’t, like, understand it.” (Dylan, 30:32)

2. Living in NYC & the Realities of Nightlife

[21:07 – 24:40]

• Dylan waxes poetic about New York’s unmatched energy, but both agree they prefer dinners and wine to clubbing.
  • On club culture:

    "Clubs are a little overrated though. Unless you’re on, like, Molly... when it’s just an alcohol vibe, it’s just like—what am I saying?" (Dylan, 22:49)

  • They poke fun at the odd deck-chair arrangement of NYC clubs:

    "The tables are facing the crowd, not the stage... nobody’s watching the DJ." (Grace, 23:41)

  • Dylan advocates for a “no phones” party to bring back true connection—“If you need your phone, you’re not my friend.” (Grace, 24:23)

3. Reality TV Deep-Dive

[24:49 – 29:39]

• Both bond over a mutual obsession with The Real Housewives, particularly Salt Lake City.
  • On the "late-night Mormon documentary viewing":

    “The guy who was trying to convert everybody... what a monster.” (Grace, 25:38)
    “You can’t forgive what you did, but we can forget.” (Dylan, 26:02)

• Dylan calls himself an “industry plant— a beautiful, beautiful rose,” joking about overnight fame.

4. Social Media Stardom & Influencer Life

[29:41 – 32:35]

• Discussion about Dylan’s “pop-off” timeline: from comedic prank calls to viral influencer.
  • Prank calls become his signature, powered solo and requiring a “second phone” for anonymity.

    “I have two phones. One for prank calling.” (Dylan, 46:51)

  • On meeting the Kardashians and hanging out at their parties: "The food was to die...I’m always the one who’s eating." (Dylan, 32:34)

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Notable Games & Memorable Moments

1. "Reality or Not" Game

[34:59 – 41:59]

• Grace quizzes Dylan on whether outrageous reality TV plotlines are real or fake, leading to lively banter and competitive energy.
  • Example:

    "On Flavor of Love, a contestant pooped on the floor during a group toast—and yes, they aired it."
    “That’s real? That’s fucking crazy.” (Dylan, 36:53)

2. "Shut The Fuck Up or Me" (Dating Tropes Game)

[42:49 – 46:14]

• Grace lists awkward or attractive behaviors, and Dylan responds with “Shut the fuck up” or “Fuck me,” often hilariously revealing he’s done half of them.
  • On guys "posting thirst traps":

    "Honestly, can that just be a shut the fuck up and a fuck me?" (Dylan, 43:50)

  • On “He talks about crypto at the bar”:

    “Fuck off. I mean—that one really struck a nerve.” (Dylan, 44:12)

3. Live Prank Calls with Listener Input

[46:15 – 59:44]

• Listeners send in requests for friends and family to be pranked. Dylan slips into wild improv characters; Grace supports and laughs along.
  • Notable voicemail (Pickle Party):

    "Hey, this is Katie... I'm having a pickle party and I'm inviting everybody who's obsessed with pickles..." (Dylan, 47:49)

  • Emotional turn: prank call to cheer up Abby, a listener dealing with breast cancer, becomes a personalized singing telegram.

    "There’s only one thing that Abby loves: is selfless. Nice!"
    (Dylan, 57:49)

  • Dylan seamlessly slips from engaging in the prank to supporting real fans.

4. Career Aspirations, Manifestation & Affirmation

[62:17 – 64:49]

• Both hosts discuss the power of written manifestation. Dylan shares that he wrote "I want to be really famous" on a notepad at The Greenwich Hotel—and a month later made the cover of Vogue.

  • “I want to make more songs and actually be a pop star...be funny, iconic, and scary.” (Dylan, 63:44/64:41)

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Memorable Quotes

• "My nose started growing faster than me... Pinocchio style." (Dylan, 03:23)
• "Philly Gay Pride is way better...we don’t care. We’re letting our hair down, letting our tits out, and we’re peeing all over each other." (Dylan, 12:12)
• "Clubs are a little overrated. Unless you're on Molly... but when it’s just alcohol, it’s terrible." (Dylan, 22:47)
• "If you need your phone at my party, you’re not my friend. Bye." (Grace, 24:23)
• "Industry plant? I think I just came out of nowhere and I'm crushing it.” (Dylan, 29:18)
• "Manifestation works. I wrote it down—I want to be really famous. A month later, I'm on the cover of Vogue." (Dylan, 62:20)
• On career goals:

  "I want to be funny, iconic, and scary." (Dylan, 64:46)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 03:00 – 17:35 | Grace exposes Dylan’s old Instagram posts (Disgraceful Receipts)
• 21:07 – 24:40 | NYC nightlife discussion—dinners vs. clubbing
• 24:49 – 29:39 | Reality TV, influencer fame, the "industry plant" debate
• 34:59 – 41:59 | "Reality or Not" game—reality TV plot twist quiz
• 42:49 – 46:14 | "Shut The Fuck Up or Me"—dating tropes game
• 46:15 – 59:44 | Listener prank calls: Pickle Party, Rudy Sanders, and singing to Abby
• 62:17 – 64:49 | Goal-setting, manifestation, and the "magic notebook" at Greenwich Hotel
• 64:41 – End | Rapid-fire dreams, routines, and affirmations for 2026

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Closing Vibe

The chemistry between Grace and Dylan brings out vibrant storytelling, authentic confessions, and gleeful chaos. Dylan stands out as a multi-hyphenate—comic, performer, influencer, soon-to-be pop star—while Grace playfully steers the ship, keeping the episode on its toes and the laughs coming.

For Fans: The episode captures both the unserious and sincere elements of internet fame and creative hustle. If you missed it, expect to finish with a few belly laughs, some new one-liners, and the urge to write your own wish list in a secret Manhattan hotel notebook.

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Transcript

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[C]

Honestly, can that just be a shut the up and me?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Ding, ding, ding. We found a third option. Yeah.

He still follows every guy he's ever hooked up with.

[C]

I mean like, I don't care, but like, shut the up.

[B]

He brings you coffee in bed after a sleepover.

[C]

Me.

[B]

He doesn't have his driver's license.

[C]

Shut the actually me.

[B]

He talks about crypto at the bar Off.

[C]

I meant that one really struck a nerve.

[B]

Coming at you live from a shady Manhattan studio. It's disgraceful.

[D]

Featuring your gracious ginger host.

[B]

Hey, watch yourself. Only I can say that.

[D]

Okay, boss, whatever you say.

[B]

You pay my bills.

[D]

Give it up for Grace o'. Malley.

[B]

I want to just start off hot. Dylan.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Is that all right?

[C]

Of course.

[B]

All right, cool. So we have this game called Disgraceful Receipts.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And so we go down. Well, actually, my sister goes down. She's really good at this.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And she finds, well, you know, different kinds of pictures that you've posted throughout the years, and I just want you to explain them.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And, yeah, let's see what we have.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

This is a surprise for me too. Okay, up first.

[C]

Oh, my God. That was my first Instagram picture. How did you guys find that?

[B]

She's really good.

[C]

Wow. Oh, my God. I'm scared to see what you found. That was my first Instagram pre nose job.

[B]

I. I don't. I don't see the nose thing when people do.

[C]

Well, I mean, it was more fun.

[B]

That's not a nice thing to say, but I thought it was.

[C]

So, like, my nose started growing faster than me. So, like, my nose was growing and I was like, Pinocchio style. Yeah. And, like, I guess I lied sometimes, but I guess enough to have my nose grow.

[B]

Oh, wow. It's a blessing and a curse.

[C]

Yeah. But then we chop that shit down and we stopped it.

[B]

At what age did you get a nose job?

[C]

Freshman in college.

[B]

So was it still growing?

[C]

It was growing quick.

[B]

What do you mean? I've never heard of such a thing.

[C]

Like, it's just like, I never, like, had a big nose.

[B]

It never stopped growing.

[C]

I never had a big nose until college. And all of a sudden, I was shrinking and my nose was growing.

[B]

What?

[C]

I know. Crazy.

[B]

Is that a. Like, did the doctors say this is. This happens to young boys?

[C]

No, I. I just think that, like, my situation. I just had a fast growing nose.

[B]

I've just. I am just fascinated by that fact already.

[C]

We're off to a hot start.

Oh. Okay. First of all, I look so good. There I was dancing on a cruise ship.

[B]

No way. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

That was as a partnering show. It was like, very, like, salsa. Oh, fun.

[B]

Yeah. Wait, so how do you get into that?

[C]

Well, I grew up dancing, and then I graduated in 2020. Oof. And then my first professional dance.

[B]

2020. College.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And then my first professional dance job was on a cruise ship.

[B]

No shit. That's really cool.

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So how do you go out and you get that?

[C]

You audition.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

In the audience.

[B]

That totally makes sense. Yeah. I didn't know if it was like a dance company you were with or something.

[C]

No. So it is a dance company that auditions people.

[B]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[C]

All of that.

[B]

That checks. I'm right in all angles. Except the order.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Really?

[C]

I just walked on.

[B]

So where did the cruise go?

[C]

We went all around the Caribbean and then right when I got to Alaska, I. That's when the depression started and I had to leave.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, Alaska was good for a week. It felt very twilighty.

[B]

Yeah. Is that where they filmed it?

[C]

I don't think so, but it feels like that.

[B]

It's like Washington.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Well, it felt like very vampirey.

[B]

Yeah. That's depressing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And yeah. Was it during the time where they don't have any daylight?

[C]

No, it was during the time of daylight.

[B]

Okay. Because I'm pretty sure I heard that there's like consistently daylight sometimes and then really dark other nights.

[C]

I mean, it did get dark and.

[B]

Light like any other day.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Come on. Yeah.

[C]

Am I all right?

[B]

Oh, I fell before this and twisted my ankle and bumped my knee and scraped my arm. No problem at all though. But when I. When I was down on the ground kind of just like, like trying to make sure I was. I didn't want to get up cuz I was so afraid that I broke my ankle.

[C]

Really?

[B]

It's so embarrassing to break your ankle as an adult or break anything.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like I could agree to that.

[B]

Like I would look like such a fool if I had to go on stage with a cast.

[C]

But it's a good excuse for people to feel bad for you.

[B]

Yeah, see, I'm done with that.

[C]

You're done?

[B]

I'm completely done with that. That was my thing for a little bit.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Not self inflicted. It was just.

For. Yeah, I'm done. I'm so done. Once you have that fucking victim that people put on you, I'm all set.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like, stop asking me if I'm okay.

[B]

I'm fully grown and I'm not.

[C]

And.

[B]

But don't feel bad.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

And which is what broke my heart when I was down on the ground and a young man our age walked in and he was handsome and he had a dog and he walked in the door of the back hallway of my apartment and he saw me on the floor and he goes, oh, you poor thing. Oh, someone our age calling another person our age, poor thing.

[C]

Like, excuse me, back to victim complex. Yeah, you poor thing.

[B]

It's just people gravitate to make you feel bad for me.

[C]

You should change your bio to poor thing.

[B]

A poor thing to kind of look like I'm a stone.

So it's a cruise. Okay. And then you had young people with you on I only Say that because I just went on a cruise for the first time. Everyone there was about to croak.

[C]

What does that mean?

[B]

Oh, pass away.

[C]

Yeah. There's people that died on the ship.

[B]

How many?

[C]

Like, all the old people.

[B]

Like, Alaska's the old. Like, Alaska is a lot old people. Right.

[C]

It was a Holland America line, and it was mostly just grannies.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It was like they came to. To go.

[B]

It's. I was calling it the SS Hospice or the SS Social Security.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They all just cash theirs out and they're ready to.

[C]

And it's like we're just filled with all these old ghosts, all of us, up on the ship.

[B]

But you guys were all.

[C]

Well, yeah, the boys were. But, like, I always felt like I feel like the ghost around.

[B]

Yeah, they do.

[C]

You feel like the outside world, very, like, what's going on here?

[B]

You're the ghost of Young Spirit. Yeah, it was. And then. So, like, how do the shows go when you've got a bunch of cotton swabs in the audience? Oh, sorry. Q tips.

[C]

Yeah. So there would be times where they would be sleeping.

[B]

Oh, so.

[C]

And we're like.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we're gonna go to the theater midday now.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And they're, like, just sleeping in the audience, and I'm breaking my back sweating for them on a moving ship. I'm like, this is not for me.

[B]

That would really piss me off. Yeah, that would really piss me off. And there's nothing you can do about it.

[C]

No.

[B]

Because, like, you can't.

[C]

And the music is so loud, so you can't even scream.

[B]

Oh, they must hate that.

[C]

Yeah, well, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, what an interesting pastime. How long did you do that for?

[C]

Like, six months.

[B]

Six months? Holy. That's not a pastime. That was your job. Yeah, we got this one.

[C]

Oh, my God, I look so cute there.

[B]

You do?

[C]

That was on Gay Pride. Philly. Gay Pride?

[B]

Hell, yeah. Does Philly get down like that?

[C]

Philly gets down.

[B]

Like, really?

[C]

Philly? Gay Pride is way better than New York Gay Pride.

[B]

Watch yourself.

[C]

I. Listen, I just.

[B]

I know there's a lot of demon twins out here that I feel like.

[C]

In New York, it's, like giving, like, Met Gala. Like, it's like everyone's really, like, dressed up to the nines, which is, like, amazing. But in Philly, we don't care. We're letting our hair. Hair down. We're letting our tits out, and we're peeing all over each other, and we're it up.

[B]

Beautiful, golden shower of a day. That is awesome. It's like, it's like. Just like, here, it's like, be yourself, but dress up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And there it's like, be yourself.

[C]

Yeah, be yourself.

[B]

Yeah, I like that. I would love to see you in the parade. Yeah, I think that's. I think that's something we got to put on the bucket list.

[C]

100. Like, on a flow, on a float.

[B]

Yeah, I did it. I did it. Weirdly enough. Barstool, had a float.

[C]

Really?

[B]

And so I did it two years in a row.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And it was so much fun to do that. It's just always on the hottest day of the year.

[C]

That's the other thing. It's way too hot. It's so hot, and it smells, and it's gross. And at one point, one of the.

[B]

Guys was like, yo, dude, like, you're sweating through your skirt. And I was like, no, I'm not. And I splashed water on myself, and I was like, no, it's just water.

It's always something. Oh. Ooh.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Not doing blackface, but this is a black person.

[C]

That was at my freshman Halloween party, and I don't know. I think I was a fairy.

[B]

That's Mike Tyson. That's not Mike Tyson.

[C]

Oh.

Oh, okay. I. You know, let's go with fairy. Yeah, I think. I think I wear, like, black wings, too. I don't know. I wanted to.

[B]

You're okay. That's okay.

[C]

I wanted you to see the sparkles now.

[B]

Yeah, I totally thought you were going from, like, Tyson on this one. Who's a fighter, who has that tattoo?

[C]

Oh, he. That's his tattoo.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, exactly that.

[B]

Can I show you a picture?

[C]

Yeah, I definitely. I think I actually probably use that as a reference then, because.

Oh, wait, I actually think.

[B]

Oh, yeah, here we go. That's Mike Tyson. And then that's the. Zoom in on his tattoo, verbatim.

[C]

Literally. That is literally.

[B]

Did you. I wonder if you typed in, like, face design and that was, like, the first thing.

[C]

I definitely did.

[B]

Oh, so this is Halloween. You're a fairy.

[C]

I was a fairy.

[B]

Okay. Which is also something I think Mike Tyson would call. Yeah. All right, so there's a portion of your tag photos that are just Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello edits. Were you. Is this you? Is this your account?

[C]

My cousin used to date her date.

[B]

Who?

[C]

Camila Cabello.

[B]

No way.

[C]

They used to have a little, like, fun little fling, and then they would.

[B]

Who's your cousin?

[C]

His Name's Austin.

[B]

Okay. McBroom Kevin.

[C]

And they, at the time, like, they all her fans really wanted her with Sean.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So they would tag me and my family and all.

[B]

The whole family.

[C]

The whole family. My mom got death threats. These fans are crazy.

[B]

Of anyone. Are out of their goddamn minds.

[C]

Out of their God.

[B]

To go and find the cousin and the. The. The. The cousin's auntie.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, no, the aunt. It's just. That's so crazy to me.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

So nuts.

[C]

It's like.

[B]

Did you kind of eat it up, though?

[C]

A little.

[B]

Yeah. I feel like it'd be kind of fun because you're like, that much removed.

[C]

Yeah. Like.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Honestly, she should be able to.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But. Yeah, it's so crazy. Yeah. What a fun lore you have right now.

[C]

I know.

[B]

I thought it was a glitch.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

Like me on Instagram. So we got Fame Fucker is the tweet from July 6, 2023.

[C]

Fame fame fucker, huh? Interesting.

[B]

So is this a subtweet.

Actually, but you're a cousin.

[C]

I don't even remember doing that. I don't think that that's me. I don't even have, like. I don't ever really.

[B]

11:58Pm I don't know. I don't.

[C]

Drunk. Definitely drunk and on something.

Like. I don't know if that's me. I really don't know if that's me.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Also, that's it. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, we're back to dancing.

[C]

Oh, that's great. That's when we did it for this charity event for.

[B]

Oh, the elderly who die on cruises.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Because you have to put them down.

[C]

Exactly. And we were performing a dance to Christine Aguilera, Dirty. Oh, that's a good one. And I decided I wanted to wear a harness.

[B]

I love it.

[C]

I think that was my last time, but, like, dancing on a stage.

[B]

What year do you think this was?

[C]

Like two years ago.

[B]

Okay. Yeah. So where was.

[C]

Was somewhere in New York. I forget. The Tre. The Trevor Project.

[B]

Did dancing bring you to New York? Oh, that's so fun.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Dancing through life, going through changes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just excited for the movie.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you a Wicked fan?

[C]

Yeah, no, no, I love Wicked. I just, like. I'm not, like, religious about it.

[B]

You went to the premiere, though. I know.

[C]

And it was amazing. I know. It was. It was an honor. It was an honor. It was an honor. It truly was.

[B]

Did you go to the absolute Vodka party? Was that it? I heard there's, like, parties going on within the premiere.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. There was, like, an absolute little bar situation, but it was outside, so it was really cold.

[B]

Oh, chili Will. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. So it was kind of hard to, like, really, like, enjoy, like, some things.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. Because, like, then you also, like, don't do. You don't wear a jacket if it's gonna be outdoor.

[C]

And the reception was outside and.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah, like, everything was outside.

[B]

Well, they have space heaters.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's like chili Will, though.

[C]

No, it was really chilly.

[B]

Ms. Grande doesn't stay outside, right?

[C]

No, she flew. She flew down, like, when everyone was, like, going, did she come from the sky? Yeah, they, like, had her come. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

[B]

I feel like that's something she would totally do, though.

[C]

I know. I feel like they should. They should have done that.

[B]

We have this.

[C]

Oh. That was when I decided to do, like, a little, like, sexy shoot for myself. And the photographer is Justin Patterson.

[B]

How long you been in New York?

[C]

Like 10 years.

[B]

Oh, no. Okay, cool. Wait, so college. Okay. NYU.

[C]

Pace.

[B]

Pace.

[C]

And I went there for my second guess obve. What was the part I went there for? Dance. Obvious.

[B]

Oh, Abbey. That was the part I missed.

I heard dance missed. Would you ever leave?

[C]

I don't know. I love New York.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm such a New York girl.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, I don't really like la. When I'm there, I'm like, so ready to get back home.

[B]

Yeah. I like to do the trip. I like to go. Yeah. They're like, isn't the weather amazing? I'm like, yeah, that's all it's good for.

[C]

Yeah, it's beautiful. I can breathe a little bit better.

[B]

Cool. That's it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's like really, really all it is.

[C]

I feel like everyone sometimes is like this.

[B]

Just. Everyone's just, you know. And then if you. You're like, oh, let's go get a drink. They're like, I don't. Yeah, but I.

[C]

Right.

[B]

You got to. No, no, they, like, start glitching.

[C]

Yeah. And it's like the AI features are.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. They, like, go in seven second intervals.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Are you okay, Jess? Yeah.

[C]

Literally.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

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[A]

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[B]

Like there's major cities where stand up is like, you can move there for stand up. Is there like cities other than New York and LA for dancing?

[C]

Yeah, L.A. new York, New York and Atlanta.

[B]

Atlanta is really good. Hell yeah.

[C]

I've never been there, but I, I.

[B]

Would like to go a lot of projects there.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Movies and I just, I have to.

[C]

Be in the scene.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And New York is like the scene.

[B]

It's totally the scene. It's like, it's the one place where you can go and do anything at any day, the week, any time.

[C]

It's like your world is your oyster.

[B]

What's your favorite place to go out?

[C]

I've been really loving just going out to a gorgeous dinner and having a gorgeous glass of wine. Cabernet Sav.

[B]

Cabernet.

[C]

Napa Valley.

[B]

Oh, Napa Valley.

[C]

Yes. And just it up at dinner.

[B]

Yeah. That's kind of been my move lately too.

[C]

Like just eating it down and guess what?

[B]

We're getting a lot of appetizers. Yeah. Sorry.

[C]

You know, it's like bring it on.

[B]

Yeah, I, I think that's what I want to do. I don't, as of lately, I don't want to go get a bottle.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I want a. Two bottles of wine at dinner.

[C]

Yes. That's what I want. Two. No, two bottles of wine. Like I am getting drunk and like.

[B]

Like we're still going to spend $1,000.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

But I like to be like comfortable and sometimes going out, I'm like.

[B]

I hate admitting this because I, I do pride myself on being a, A blast off party girl. But I can't tell you the last time I went to a club.

[C]

Yeah.

Clubs are a little overrated though.

[B]

They are.

[C]

It's like unless you're on like Molly or stuff like that, you can totally figure out a way for it to be something more. But when it's like just like a alcohol vibe, it's just like. Wait, what am I saying?

[B]

No, no. I've never been on just an alcohol vibe at a club.

[C]

So.

It'S just like.

[B]

I was just like trying to picture it.

[C]

Yeah. No, it's like literally like.

Yeah.

[B]

Should we get another Heineken? Yeah.

[C]

No, It's. It's terrible.

[B]

No, I know. It's. And it's also, like, the way my sister explained it to me because, like, when I was going out in New York, it was so normal to me because, like, my. My. Like, I had a friend who was a promoter. Like, we just, like, ran around all the time. And then Nora came to New York and she's like, this is a really weird setup. Like, the tables are facing the crowd.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Not the stage.

[C]

I know.

[B]

And so the tables face the crowd so that the crowd is looking at the tables.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And nobody's watching the dj. Yeah. But I do have a polar take of nobody's supposed to be watching the dj.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It was supposed to be dancing, actually.

[C]

Yeah. No one's even.

[B]

Nobody does a dancing.

[C]

No one's supposed to be looking.

[B]

No one's supposed to be looking. No one's supposed to be.

[C]

Yeah. It's like. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, we gotta bring disco back, I think, is what it is.

[C]

We need to. We really. Yeah. People need to, like, leave their phones at the front.

[B]

I wish we could do that. I think I want to, like, for, like, my. I don't know. I don't know when I'd have another big birthday party, but if I were to, I would lock up phones and.

[C]

Just have it be.

[B]

See, who gives a. Yeah. Like, is the people who are like, oh, no, no, I need my phone. You're not my friend. Bye. You are just coming for the open bar.

[C]

It doesn't matter 100%.

[B]

I think that's actually. I'm going to. I'm going to write that down. Write that down.

All right. I'm gonna read from the cards and see what we got. All right. It's so funny. I just, like, obviously tell it on myself for not making the cards.

Dylan, give us your reality TV rundown. What are your favorite shows?

[C]

Real Housewife of Salt Lake City. There's no other franchise that's better than that.

[B]

I was watching Heather's documentary last night.

[C]

I started it.

[B]

That was fascinating. My friend Pat. Pat was on it. Really? Yeah.

[C]

All the Mormons are really fascinating.

[B]

Oh, you just did past podcast.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Is he Mormon?

[B]

No, he was on. Sorry. He was on the show because they used a clip from his pod.

[C]

Oh, I did see him on there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, oh, Pat.

[B]

It was, like, so fun. And then I texted him. I was watching it at, like, 2:30 last night. And like, in the morning I texted him. I was like, oh, my God, it's so funny to see you. On here. And he texted me back this morning. He goes, it's really funny. You were watching the Mormon documentary at 2:30 in the morning.

[C]

That's a good late night talk though.

[B]

Yeah, I thought so. Yeah, it was, it was fascinating. I mean the, the guy who was trying to convert everybody, it was just like, what a monster.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then, but then he's like, now I see what I've done. But is that just a PR move?

[C]

You know, I mean, he has a lot of eyes on him. He has to say like, you know, you know, yeah. Happy that he, you know, came to terms with himself.

[B]

But yeah.

[C]

You can't forgive what you did, but we can forget.

[B]

Monstrous.

[C]

It's monstrous.

[B]

I just, I can't even believe it. And like the way he was talking about it was so like he was.

[C]

Still in it and he like wanted us to like feel bad for him.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, I'm sorry.

[B]

He's like, yeah. He's like, that's why I called you, so I could use your outlet to help everyone. I'm sorry.

[C]

Yeah, that's a step in the right direction. But it's done.

[B]

Yeah. Oh yeah. That was fascinating. So real.

Real Housewives.

[C]

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. There's just nothing better. I used to really love Beverly Hills, but when ever since Lisa Rinna left, I left.

[B]

Do you know I used to be a big fan of Chris Kyle. I used to be on Kyle's side.

[C]

I always, for like a long time. Me too. And then it just kind of came to the point where it's like we've been seeing the same shit happen like all the time.

[B]

Yeah. The, I think I, I, I like even hate to admit, but I think it was like the last season, the last two seasons. That's, that's what I called it.

[C]

Yeah. It's just like, it's just enough.

[B]

I used to be like, she's the most normal one.

[C]

Yeah, no, she's not.

[B]

She's a bajillionaire.

[C]

I feel like the older, like these housewives are getting and like the seasons, they're just getting crazier.

[B]

Yeah. Because they're having like these crisises.

[C]

Yes, yes. And it's on tv.

[B]

And it's on tv. And it's, it's so fun to watch.

[C]

It's so fun to watch. But really is Salt Lake.

[B]

Salt Lake. Okay. And then. So would you ever go to Bravocon?

[C]

Love to.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I would have loved to see you there this year. I feel like that would have been a perfect.

[C]

Maybe next year.

[B]

Yeah. Oh. So when did you. When did you start popping off?

[C]

Like.

I think in, like, August.

[B]

Yeah. Because I like you. Like, all summer long, I was following around, like, sending back and forth to my sister and I. And I was like, dude, cracks me up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You are so funny. You really do. It was the. The calls first, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. The prank.

[B]

Those were out of control. Also, have you ever done acting?

[C]

Yeah, I take an acting and improv classes, and that's my dream. I want to be an actor.

[B]

Oh, well, you do a fantastic job already, because I don't know how you don't break.

[C]

It's. You.

[B]

Ha.

[C]

I leave my body and I black out. It's like being on drugs.

[B]

Yeah. Chasing the thrill. I love that you do it alone, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because. Because you have to. Yeah. If you have anyone with you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Too many. Stop snickering.

[C]

And it's also.

[B]

We'll laugh about it later.

[C]

Like, also, stop laughing.

[B]

I'm working.

Do you want to laugh, like, later?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

On this?

[C]

Yeah. Literally.

[B]

And they're like. Yeah. I'm like, I'm never heard you laugh like that ever in my life.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's like. It's like, stop. Like, please. Yeah.

[B]

Like, seriously, now you're a soundboard.

[C]

Yeah. Like, I don't need any, like, sound effects.

[B]

So. So that was like, your. Your rising. Do you. Are you an industry plant?

[C]

What's that mean?

[B]

There you have it, folks.

No, people say when people just come out of nowhere and they just start crushing automatically, they're like, someone must have set that up.

[C]

Oh, that's what they.

[B]

That's what they say. Yeah.

[C]

Well, I think I just came out of nowhere and I'm crushing it.

[B]

Yeah. No, no. And I. But the people want to know.

[C]

Oh, okay. Yeah. I think I'm an industry pan. A beautiful, beautiful rose.

[B]

That's my rose.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There was enough room on that door.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Enough room on that door. Okay, so now that we got the industry plant question out of. Out of the way. Sorry, I had to ask.

[C]

No, you're good.

[B]

What was, like, your first intro to Influencer 101?

[C]

I think Halle's podcast.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Was, like, my first, like, influence. Like, I don't. Well, are you talking about, like, event.

[B]

Or, like, event or, like, anything where you were like, oh, I'm doing it. I'm doing this. This is what I'm. I think I'm gonna do this.

[C]

I think it was after Halle's podcast, and it was Fashion Week when I was going to the event, so I was like, oh, okay.

[B]

Yeah. You're popping the hell off. Yeah. That was like. That was like, your rollout week. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it was like, my, like, first day of school week. Yeah, I was just.

[B]

You got in with the popular kids.

[C]

I got in with the kids, yeah. Like, all the mean girls. Like, I could totally sit at their table.

[B]

And then after Fashion Week, you were just hanging out with the Kardashians, literally. And was that Kylie's party? That was.

[C]

I actually can't believe that happened. Like, that's crazy. I still don't, like, understand it. And when I got home to New York and, like, got back into my apartment with, like, no dishwasher, I was. I was like, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like. And we're back to ran.

[B]

It's time to work hard. Yeah.

You know what? Kim was right. Nobody wants to work these days.

[C]

What am I doing? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like, I gotta be like that.

[B]

Of course Kylie loved you because, one, you're hilarious. And two, Kylie is pretty funny, too.

[C]

She's so funny.

[B]

She's just, like. She's, like, for how she was brought up, she's pretty fucking normal. I don't know her personally. I've heard this through the grapevine. And, like, all of her friends have a great sense of humor, like, sassy and all them.

[C]

So, like, I love Victoria and Carter.

[B]

Oh, my God, they rock.

[C]

They are the sweet. They're so funny.

[B]

And everyone's just so hot.

[C]

So hot, so hot.

[B]

Like, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.

[C]

Yeah, like, I'm gonna be.

[B]

We were at, like, the Unwell pool party in Miami with them, and I was just like, yeah, I'm gonna just. I'm just gonna be over here. Yeah.

I'll see you guys at night. Y.

[C]

No, totally, totally, totally.

[B]

It's like. It's a whole different ballpark, but that's so fun. Any highlights from that party?

[C]

Yes. I got so drunk with Kylie.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Which is, like, on, like, a bucket list. Like, yeah, of course.

[B]

Brand safe and.

Give you an alley oop.

[C]

And the food, they had their Chef K, I think, is the name so.

[B]

Good they made them change their name. It was Chef B. They're like, no, we're all K's here. Yeah.

[C]

They made sure they found a chef with a K in it. But no, the food was to die. I don't know. Everything was so cool.

[B]

That's so awesome. And then, like, it's. It's so great because you can just go right up to the food because no one else is eating.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Everyone's on the Go.

[C]

I'm always the one who's eating.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[C]

Like, at the events, if there's like, people, I'm like, yup.

[B]

I'm like, oh, you ever see. Are you an SNL fan? Yeah, I love Chris Farley and he's like, dressed as a girl and. And his date is like, oh, what are you gonna get? He's like, I don't know, but I'm starving.

[C]

I think I actually know that guy.

[B]

Yeah, it's good. It's a good one. He, like, he looks away. What's that? Yeah.

[C]

That'S literally how I am.

[B]

Okay, so Fashion Week, Kardashians.

What else have you been up to that you've been, like, blasting off and having yourself a good old fashioned time?

[C]

I was dressed with Joe Jonas.

[B]

Okay. So how's Joe doing?

[C]

He's so hot.

[B]

Do you know how many 30 something year old women are? Why, I oughta right now?

[C]

No, he's the hottest.

[B]

And he seems to be like a fun blast. If that's really him running his accounts. He's funny.

[C]

No, he's so funny and he's so, like, chill.

[B]

Yeah, like.

[C]

And he just, like, doesn't act like he's a celebrity.

[B]

Nelima. What? What do they call them? Joe Brono fans. Oh, Joe Brony.

[C]

Yeah, we're Joe Bronies.

[B]

Jabronis. Jonas fans. Jonas. The Jonas brother fans are called Jonas fans. I thought it was your Bronies. What are you naming your fans? I think it's. Yeah, you got to get in early on naming your fans because then if you try to do it too late, you can't.

[C]

I know. I think I'm gonna name them babes.

[B]

Babes?

[C]

Yeah, like all the babes.

[B]

Has this been taken by anybody else?

[C]

I don't think so.

[B]

Yes. Chris DiStefano. Oh, he doesn't know who that is, I'm sure. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Okay, well, then I guess it can be.

[B]

Do you know who Stefano is?

[C]

Yeah, it could be babies.

[B]

Oh, the babies. Yeah, the babies. Dirty babies. Nora. She's a Stan herself. Nora has a history. Not anymore, but she has a history of fan Stan.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, no babies. Oh, perfect.

[C]

Okay, so if you're a fan of me, you're my babies.

[B]

I'm so happy to be one of your babies.

Waiting for that Adderall to kick in, honey.

Oh, okay. Speaking of reality tv, we have a game, so it's called Reality or Not. Okay, okay, so I'm gonna ask you, are these actually reality TV plot points or are they entirely made up? Okay, number One. On Survivor, one contestant missed the birth of his first child while competing. Announcing mid game. Our baby is being born right now and I'm on the island.

[C]

I feel like that's true.

[B]

It is.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I should have, like, done something for you. I was like.

Sick.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Kill.

What am I playing? Like a sound or something?

[C]

You're like, great.

[B]

You're ready.

On Big Brother, contestants woke up and found their house transformed into a floating aquarium.

[C]

That's so not real.

[B]

Yeah, that wasn't even close to real.

[C]

That's so not real, you guys.

[B]

Now you guys are in the ocean.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You're out of cruise.

All right. On Flavor of Love with Flavor Flavors. Flavor of Love, Flavor Flav, Flavor Flavies. I interviewed him once. That was Banana Lands.

[C]

I'm sure it was.

[B]

I just. And like, we were doing it and I was, like, trying to not crack any jokes, but it was so hard not to because, like, this is the way this man is, and I don't think that's very fair. Yeah, it's right there and it's low hanging fruit. And I know, boy, am I a glutton. I, like, I couldn't help myself. So I think it's all deleted now. Anyways, on the other podcast.

On Flavor of Love, a contestant pooped on the floor during a group toast. And yes, they aired it.

[C]

I feel like that wasn't true.

[B]

It's real.

[C]

Oh, my God. Really?

[B]

That's fucking crazy.

[C]

That's so. That's.

[B]

That's pretty nuts.

[C]

Why can't that happen nowadays?

[B]

Yeah. Right?

[C]

I feel like back then everyone's so weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And everyone thinks that, like, I feel like everyone thinks, like, my brand, my brand, my brand.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

What's your brand?

[B]

I need everyone. I need. That's why, like, I don't know, we should just, like, grab some Amish people who just broke and. And use them. Because they're not looking for clout. Like, they don't know the word clout.

[C]

No, they're looking for. To make a change.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

For the better.

[B]

For the better.

[C]

Because I knew you.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

I have been changed for granted.

[B]

Were you the person texting during the premiere?

[C]

No, thank God. I wasn't.

[B]

I saw. I saw.

[C]

Wait.

[B]

Somebody was Wait.

[C]

And I did check my phone like, once or twice.

[B]

Were you texting?

[C]

No, I wasn't texting.

[B]

Okay. This person was texting.

[C]

Okay. Who? Who?

[B]

I love. I love it. It's just like. Like, imagine there was drama. There was drama that came from change. For the better and. Or for. For the good. What's the name of it.

[C]

No, you have forgotten for good.

[B]

Yeah, well, it's not all good. Sometimes you get all those New York elitist pieces of shit together in one room, and it's going to be some drama.

[C]

I will also, like, Lee, whoever, They're like, just leave them alone.

[B]

No, no, I don't think they should be on the phone.

[C]

No, no, I don't.

[B]

I honestly. I honestly don't think they should be on the phone. Yeah, no, stand by what you said.

[C]

No, I just feel like. I feel like. Why? Are you going to, like, call them out like that?

[B]

Yeah, I think it was like. More like jokingly, it was, you know, twink and a redhead.

[C]

Oh, I love them then. I agree with everything you do. I love them. I love them.

[B]

He was like. He was like. Yeah. And someone was on their phone the whole time. The whole time.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you know how many people would want this seat?

[C]

Well, he sat right in front of me, so it definitely wasn't me.

[B]

Oh, perfect. You're.

[C]

I literally was just.

[B]

You're in the clear.

[C]

See, I went like that. You're like this. Excuse me.

[B]

It wasn't me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I don't even know how I got there. Okay, next question.

On the Bachelor. In this fake finale twist, the remaining contestants were all his ex girlfriends brought back for a redemption chance.

[C]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

It's not. Oh, it's just not.

I don't know how to be a host of a game show.

[C]

No, but that could be true, though, right?

[B]

Yeah, it seems like something they would do. Yeah, they did that before.

[C]

Right. So then it is true.

[B]

That's like that young man from Matt. Whatever.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. In Big Brother, a house guest drunkenly put a knife to a fellow contestant's throat and asked, would you get mad if I killed you? He was swiftly ejected.

[C]

What does that mean? He was kicked out because he was gonna kill someone.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I have to say, if that actually happened or not. Okay, I feel like I'm gonna go with that didn't happen.

[B]

Okay, well, you should have stuck to your real answer.

[C]

Because it did.

[B]

Because it did. All right, all right. Number six on Shark Tank, a woman claimed her invention could translate goats. Oh, goat bleats. That must be how they talk. Goat bleats.

[C]

Gobleats.

[B]

Goat bleats. Goat bleats into English. She brought goats to demo it. She received no investments.

[C]

That's not true.

[B]

It is not. This isn't.

[C]

It's just not true.

[B]

There's just no way in hell it is. You know, you're pretty smart kid.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

In 2011 on Toddlers and Tiaras, a mom dressed the her 3 year old as a prostitute from Pretty Woman. Judges were horrified. America was too.

[C]

I think that was true.

[B]

Yeah, it was.

[C]

I think I saw that episode too.

[B]

Come on, honey, you gotta be a hooker.

[C]

I mean there was a lot of crazy three year old stuff on that show.

[B]

Wasn't six, it wasn't seven, it wasn't eight, it wasn't six, seven.

[C]

Yeah, it was three.

[B]

Not that it matters.

[C]

Bad.

Three. Wait till at least four.

[B]

Okay, next question. In Hell's Kitchen, contestants were blindfolded for an entire dinner service. Chopping and sauteing by sound.

Like.

[C]

No, that is correct. Like I'm right.

[B]

You are correct.

Not. Not just real or not.

On Dance Moms, in a made up mom swap week, the moms coached each other's kids and lived at the other family's homes.

[C]

That's not true.

[B]

I wish it was.

[C]

I'm a die hard dance mom fan. I know every single app.

[B]

And right now I'd like to use this moment to congratulate our Kendall. We love you, Kendall.

It's unwell.

Okay, next question. On the Amazing Race, contestants had to parachute while knitting a team flag mid air. No, I mean we could have made these a little more. And that's been the game. Yeah.

[C]

That'S so nutshell.

[D]

On December 19, based on the best selling novel, Amanda Seyfried and Sydney Sweeney star in the Housemaid, A wildly entertaining thriller about a live in housemaid and the wealthy Winchester family experience a twisted world where perfection is an illusion and nothing is as it seems. The shocking twists will leave you guessing until the very end. Can you keep a secret? The Housemaid Rated R. Only in theaters December 19th. Get tickets.

[C]

Now.

[A]

Every holiday shopper's got a list. But Ross shoppers. You've got a mission like a gift run that turns into a disco snow globe.

[B]

Throw pillows and PJs for the whole family, dog included.

[A]

At Ross, holiday magic isn't about spending more. It's about giving more for less. Ross, work your magic.

[B]

Okay, this next game we're just going right back into a game. Okay, this next game is called Shut the up or Me.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I love that.

[B]

In this game I list a dating experience or trope and you will tell me if it's not hot, which means shut the fuck up or hot and fuck me.

[C]

Fuck me.

[B]

Yeah. He plays guitar for you when you get back to his house.

[C]

Fuck me.

[B]

He leaves his necklace at your house so you have to see him again.

[C]

I've done that before. And honestly, shut the fuck up. I swear to God. And he actually just messaged me saying, I have your necklace still.

[B]

Hey, it works. It does. It works.

[C]

But it's also like, shut the fuck up.

[B]

It is like, shut the fuck up.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He likes going out to the club every single weekend.

[C]

Shut the fuck up.

[B]

He orders you. Oh, sorry. He orders for you at dinner without asking.

[C]

Fuck me.

[B]

He's obsessed with his mom. They call once a day.

[C]

Shut the fuck up.

[B]

Yeah, you might as well. Yeah. He posts thirst traps on his Instagram story.

[C]

Honestly, can that just be a Shut the up. And me?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Ding, ding, ding. We found a third option.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

He still follows every guy he's ever hooked up with.

[C]

I mean, like, I don't care, but, like, shut the up.

[B]

He brings you coffee in bed after a sleepover.

[C]

Me.

[B]

He doesn't have his driver's license.

[C]

Shut the up. Actually, me.

[B]

He talks about crypto at the bar.

[C]

Fuck off. I meant that one really struck a nerve.

[B]

Character broke. I know.

[C]

Shut the fuck up.

Oh, my God.

[B]

You have a pass with a crypto guy.

[C]

Wait, what's crypto?

[B]

Exactly.

[C]

Okay. Yeah. Isn't that, like, old people?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Okay, so.

[B]

He sends voice memos instead of texts me. He only calls you.

[C]

Dude, shut the up.

[B]

That's all I say. He has a neck tattoo.

[C]

Me.

[B]

He keeps all your selfies in a folder on his phone.

[C]

Me.

[B]

Is this a thing?

[C]

I mean, if someone had, like, selfies of me on their phone and they're really hot, like. That's cool.

[B]

Yeah, that is cool. Like, it's like. You kind of made me like, a photo album.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You made me like, a scrapbook. I mean.

[C]

Yeah, it's like, they must really love me.

[B]

That's really sweet, actually.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is this, like, a big thing in the gay community, though?

[C]

I don't know anyone who does that.

[B]

I don't think the streets are doing that.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know who's doing that.

[B]

But I can't picture, like, crypto Bill being like, yeah, she's Stephanie, dude. I got these 7 pics of her that I screenshotted from my mom's Facebook.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So dope.

[C]

Yeah. No, I don't know.

[B]

His iPhone. Wallpaper is himself.

[C]

Oh, shut the fuck up.

[B]

He is Joe Jonas.

[C]

Fuck me.

[B]

That's good. That is good.

That's been the game.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

Do you have any? Do you. Do you have any? You would add to that game of Shut the fuck up or Just rather fuck me.

[C]

Honestly, I feel like you. I answered. Or. No, you asked great questions.

[B]

Oh, thank you very much. Thank you, thank you.

[C]

He's all this.

[B]

Fuck me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so up next, we have. We just got rapid fire game mode. Is that all right? You cool with that?

[C]

Yeah, let's do it.

[B]

We asked everyone listening if they had anybody they wanted to prank call. And so I said, leave their. Their phone number and the reason why you want us to prank call them.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, so we'll start off with Carly to Alyssa. And we've got.

The reason being she got dumped. And the details are she falls asleep anywhere and.

Rooney.

[C]

Perfect.

[B]

It was star 67. Still works, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is that what you use or is there another cheat code?

[C]

I mean, sometimes I'll just call.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah. Well, I have two phones.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

One for prank calling.

[B]

Kevin Gates. Yeah.

Well, you bought one specifically for prank calling. That's. That's badass. Yeah. That is so sick.

[C]

Yeah. Like, I mean, how am I going to record.

[B]

I'm trying to get like you. Yeah, you have to, like an ipod touch or an iPad or something.

[C]

You have to be like me.

[B]

Yeah, dude, I'm trying to get like you. Just call me a little baby.

Five, one six. You glad you got dumped?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It'S people's worth. Yeah. No, you know, people have jobs. Yeah. Well, this is lunch hour. For real, though. I thought we timed this pretty good.

[C]

I mean, someone will answer. It might be the. The one that we don't want to do.

[B]

Yeah, I know. That's so true. So this is Nick. Pickle guy. He's silly.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

And he's obsessed with pickles. Okay.

[C]

Should I leave a voicemail?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

Hey, this is Katie. I'm having a pickle party and I'm inviting everybody who's obsessed with pickles. I'm having dill pickles, mustard pickles, spicy pickles, coffee pickles, and my new favorite, iced tea pickles. It's where we marinate them in iced tea overnight for at least 20 hours. So I guess that's not really overnight, but I want you to be the first pickle boy to try it. They come in all different shapes and sizes, and funny thing is, is that my parents grow pickles in the back. All right, I'll see you there. And have a pickly day.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Are you joking? Oh, God.

[B]

I just did exactly what.

[C]

What the.

[B]

What people do. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, the coffee.

[B]

Trying to navigate quietly. Oh, that was good. That was good. We're getting warmed up. We're Getting warmed up. All right, let's go back to square one here.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I feel like I'm working in an office. We gotta make those calls. We got this one. It says she's. She's trying to join the military so that they pay for her dental school. She is hella smart. This is a good friend. We are graduating underground undergrad in the spring. We died laughing on the phone recently because with the new military, she actually has to watch her. Wait. Or she'll not get in. She also had a. She also had a breast reduction and a nose job and had to report that.

[C]

You have to report that.

[B]

That's crazy. Please, please, please, please, please give her a prank call. This will make my year P. S. I love you, Grace. You remind me of my page so much. Oh, that's really sweet. She's my long distance best friend, buddy girl. And we are stinking silly together. Okay. I love these girls.

[C]

Yeah. So cute.

[B]

What's that number?

Your call has been forwarded to voicemail. The person who is not available, please record your message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up.

[C]

Hello, this is Rudy Sanders. I'm calling here all the way from the Universal Studios. We are looking for irrelevant people like you to be casted in an all new movie. But we would have to send you the NDAs to sign before we exactly tell you the name and who's been starring in it. We are looking for people that haven't had a chance yet. Looking for. For a spotlight or having a moment to brag to your friends. Please call this number or email me at Rudy sanders universal.com and I'll send you all of the deliverables. Love you.

[B]

The fart dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Every time gets me. Every time gets me. It's just. People just go over it. It says, they're just like, oh, yeah. And also you're like, sorry, they're like this.

[C]

Anyways, like.

[B]

The most recent one you did with like the. The older woman. Yeah, I. I forget the context of it, but she was just. She was not having it. She was not. Oh, the birthday part. The party you were trying to play at.

[C]

Sorry.

No, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm like this. Sorry. Just farted and like, I make it known that I farted.

[B]

Sorry. I just totally flatulated.

Like, I. What?

[C]

Because it's so awkward. Like, I want them. I want to like, talk about it, you know?

[B]

Yeah, well, we all do it, kid. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Oh, God.

[B]

Sorry. We're gonna get. I. I can't. We can't do this and not get one. I'm sorry.

[C]

No. 100%.

[B]

Okay. The reason for calling, it's me. Okay. Oh, I need it because I'm having surgery soon and I'm extremely anxious and I need to pick me up. Okay, cool.

[C]

Okay. But we can't really prank call her.

[B]

Yeah, no, good luck with the surgery. Much love. And I'll. I'll give you a call later. Yeah, actually, I'll just call it right now.

[C]

Yeah. Your call has been forwarded to voicemail.

[B]

I'll leave your voice. The person you're trying to reach is not available. Who's this guy?

Hey, what's up, girly pop? I'm here with Dylan. It's Grace. Say hi. Hey. So we just wanted to wish you luck on the surgery and. Yeah, this is my real number. And we can't prank call you because you didn't answer and we weren't going to anyways. We just want to wish you luck on the surgery and much love, respect, and have a day. Dude, anything you want to add?

[C]

I mean, just live your life and fuck it down.

[B]

Up next, we've got Kyle. He's always prank calling people, and I need him to be the butt of the joke. Any funny things you want to add? He shits his pants and puts them in his laundry. How else are you supposed to clean your shitty pants?

[C]

I mean. Yeah, you have to put in the laundry. Wait, what?

[B]

I don't understand.

[C]

He shits his pants and then puts the shit with the clothes in the laundry?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you have to give him, like, a quick wash in the sink first, right?

[C]

I mean, and if. But, like, I would just throw it out. What?

[B]

If you love those pants, man, then.

[C]

I would wash them.

[B]

Yeah, right?

[C]

Yeah, but I'm not just. Yeah. Or maybe just the dry cleaners.

[B]

Yeah, that's rude.

[C]

Yeah, him.

[B]

I should have draws.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Here. L. My shitty draws. Okay. Oh, this is. This is a Boston number, too.

[C]

Hello? Hey, can you talk for five seconds? I'm calling off of my sister's phone. Sorry. I. I totally just pooped in my pants. And I genuinely don't know what to do about it because I'm in class right now. And can you just please pick me up or something and I can tell the doctors or the nurse office that I'm gonna have my period.

Stop it. Dad. Dad.

Dad, it's not funny.

Dad.

Dad, I'm. I'm pooping right now. Dad. Wait. Dad, more poops coming out. Please hurry up.

Oh, I'm pooping in my pants right now. Dad, can you please Pick me up.

[B]

Daddy. What?

[C]

Wait. I feel better. Okay. I'm just gonna go to the nurse office and see if they have hand me downs.

[B]

Perfect.

[C]

Perfect. Okay. I think I'm gonna be okay.

[B]

All righty.

[C]

All righty.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

Bye.

Yeah, he was good. He was good. See, it takes a lot to get to the right wine.

[B]

Oh, that was so good. Okay, so when you do it at your house, you're by yourself. Do you, like. Once you're done recording the video, I'm.

[C]

Literally like, I'm sorry.

[B]

Next.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Cause it was actually, like, for me, as a viewer, it was refreshing to see you laugh after the call.

[C]

Yeah, I know. It's like, I don't have anyone around me to laugh.

[B]

Is.

[C]

It's literally silent. I'm literally like this. What did I just do?

[B]

Is this what I do now?

[C]

Yeah. No, literally.

[B]

So funny. We could try maybe one more request. Oh, we're getting a call back. It's from our boy Kyle. Yeah.

[C]

Hello? Hello? Hello?

I knew where I got it from. I'm stuck on the toilet. Dad. I know this is where I got it from. Wait, dad, I'm on the toilet again. Dad, I'm on the toilet again.

Oh, my God.

Dad.

Dad. Oh, Grace o'.

[B]

Malley. Oh, Mommy.

[C]

I'm peeing now. I have to go.

I'm peeing now.

[B]

I have to go.

[C]

That's a great way to.

[B]

I was like, cut the camera. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, when I pee, that's when.

[B]

I have to go like that. I'll moan and groan on the toilet with you, but if I'm peeing, that's private.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Oh, shit.

[C]

I got good. That was good. That was good.

[B]

Okay. That kind of threw me for a loop. Yeah. You never expect to call back.

[C]

Yeah, I know. I never answered a call back.

[B]

I think that's kind of fun. He sat on that for a second, found out who it was, sat on.

[C]

It, and then he took his moment.

[B]

I'm just gonna fart back.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

All right, let's do this. Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

We love you, Kyle.

[B]

Kyle rocks.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Nora just said you do this one. This one to the last one. She has breast cancer. What are we gonna do? Phone call to make her laugh. Oh, prank phone call. Don't bring up the breast cancer, if you don't mind.

[C]

Yeah, no, I wouldn't.

[B]

She needs a laugh. Okay, cool. All right. I like this angle. Yeah, I. I thought. I thought this friend was screwy. Okay.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Her name's Abby. Okay.

[C]

Hey, Abby. My name is Regina. How are you?

[B]

I'm doing well. How you doing?

[C]

I'm doing good. So I am a phone singer. I get a lot of requests that come in just to kind of brighten people's day, and I call and sing. Do you have time?

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Okay, so I just have one question. What's one thing that you love about yourself?

[B]

Love? My selflessness.

[C]

H. Okay. Say less. There's only one thing that Abby loves Is selfless. Nice. There's only one thing the Abby lies Selfless. Yeah. She's so selfless. She's so selfless. So selfless.

She's so shy, Shy. She's so shy. Shy, shy, shy, shy, shy.

And that's really it. I just hope that you felt all that energy.

[B]

And this call will be recorded. Do you mind singing that one more time?

[C]

Of course.

Are you ready?

[A]

I am.

[C]

Is there maybe another thing that you like about yourself that you want me to sing about?

[A]

I like my smile.

[C]

Beautiful. Turn that frown upside down I wanna see you smile Let me see your pearly whites hey, did you get braces? That's right. Because they straight and they white so keep smiling all night, baby I love you and that's right.

[B]

Wow. Thank you so much.

[C]

You're so welcome. All right, well, have a good day. I have to go.

[B]

You too. Bye.

[C]

Bye. Abby.

[B]

You got motherfucking pints.

When we switched up the beat. Yeah, that was. Wow, you're so versatile.

[C]

Triple Threat.

[B]

A check of all trades.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Wow, that was awesome. Yeah, when. When she. When she pressed Record, it's like, the call will be recorded. Like, oh, classic.

[C]

I was like, we're already recording.

[B]

I thought. I thought you got offended for a second.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I was like, this was.

[B]

Supposed to be special for just you, Abby.

[C]

Yeah. Like.

[B]

Oh, God, that was good. That was classic.

[C]

That was good. Did you hear my song?

[B]

Oh, I love your song.

[A]

Do you love it?

[B]

Oh, my God. I love your song.

[C]

Oh, good.

[B]

It's absolutely incredible.

[C]

It's for the girls in the gay.

[B]

It's for the girls in the gays. That's it. So what. What made you want to do a song? Is this something.

[C]

I just want to. Why not, you know, why not be a goddamn pop star?

[B]

I'm so glad you filled that. That. That quiet void with a good promo. Like, you're so good at this already. Like, you're really.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

Yeah. You're bu.

[C]

I'm trying to elevate.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you're moving at the speed of light, I will say.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What other person do you Know that starts popping off in August.

[C]

And by October.

[B]

October, me and Kylie are with Kylie.

[C]

J. Yeah.

[B]

Like never to be done before.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Truly and honestly. Who was the girl who sang at the dinner, though?

They were all sitting. Oh, Pia. Pia. Pia Mia. Remember Pia Mia?

[C]

I don't know. I'm really good with faces.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Terrible with names.

[B]

I don't know where pm I only.

[C]

Know me, you, and, like, Holly. Yeah.

[B]

That's gonna do it.

[C]

That's really it. So.

[B]

Oh, my God. Okay. We all should go and get a drink.

[C]

Ski a 100.

[B]

I say that to her all the time, but we never do it.

[C]

It's crazy. I feel like I say that to everyone, and it just. It never happens.

[B]

I, like, mean it, though.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Like, I really do. But every time I say it. I wouldn't just say that.

[C]

I know.

[B]

And I just, like, you know, we gotta. We just gotta, like, set a day.

[C]

And just drink and, like, not, like, in. Like, an influencer.

[B]

No, no, no.

[C]

I feel like sometimes it's suffocating.

[B]

Okay. So you've already done, like, so much.

You know? What? You. You never thought you would, you know?

Or maybe you did, you know?

[C]

No, I. Yeah.

[B]

I feel like you've got that star power. You've always had that star in you. From cruise ships to cruising around the world with the Jenners.

I gotta ask, what are you for 2026? What's your dreams, goals and aspirations? Cause I'll tell you what. One year I wrote down manifestations. And I don't really believe in that stuff, but the time was right, and I just kind of needed a little hope at the time. And I wrote down all these manifestations, and I got them all done for the most part.

[C]

And I did the same thing.

[B]

You did?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No shit.

[C]

So in the Greenwich Hotel, I wrote on a little paper, like, saying all the things I want to happen. And I literally just wrote, I want to be really famous. And I put it in one of the books, like, on the shelf. And I said, I'll look back to this, like, a month later. A month later. I'm, like, on the COVID of Vogue magazine.

[B]

Him. So, yeah, you heard it here first, folks. If you live in New York City, the Greenwich Hotel is where dreams come true.

[C]

Yes, it is.

[B]

It's a. It's a magic notebook. Do they have, like, notebooks, like, so, yeah.

[C]

Like, they have, like, little pens and stuff? Well, no, I had my own, like, notepad. And I just stuck it in one of the cute little, like, books. And then I came back in October. I was like, oh, my God.

[B]

That's so sweet. I know. You should just keep adding to it.

[C]

No, I am.

[B]

I really like that. That's really cute.

[C]

And it's somewhere in New York just, like, hidden in a beautiful place.

[B]

Oh, my God. That's adorable. That's a movie scene.

[C]

I literally.

[B]

I really like that. I'm gonna. I'm gonna steal that for a screen.

[C]

Yeah. You have to find. You can find your own, like, section and, like, no one will know that it's there.

[B]

That's really cool. That could be, like a. That might just become a thing. And then you're gonna have to find a new spot.

Running into a bunch of bums.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Literally trying to conquer their dreams. My dream gate.

[C]

Seriously. But I. For 2026, I really want to be. I want to make more songs and, like, actually be, like, a pop star.

[B]

No. Okay.

[C]

You know, like. Like, it could be an indie pop star. The world's my oyster.

[B]

Absolutely. 100. I can see you with Charlie.

[C]

Charlie.

[B]

Like, you and Charlie and the crew.

[C]

100.

[B]

You feel the rush?

[C]

Yes. I really want to be an overcompensating season too.

[B]

Oh, that's a given.

[C]

I've been manifesting that a lot.

[B]

Have you? I think there's. I think there's courses of action that you could actually. I think this could totally come.

[C]

No. So I posted a video of me manifesting it and he reposted it and said, done.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Well, don't with me like that though, you know?

[C]

No, I know.

[B]

You say that. No, I know.

[C]

Oh, you'll see.

[B]

I think he's pretty. Okay. Yeah. That's so exciting.

[C]

I know.

[B]

That's really cool.

[C]

We're gonna put that out there. And I just like, I want to be in a horror movie.

[B]

A horror movie. So a pop star, a coming of age comedy, and a horror movie.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So like I said earlier, you're versatile.

[C]

Exactly. I need to be funny, iconic, and scary.

[B]

Oh, wow. Yeah. I think that's the name of your album.

[C]

Funny, iconic and scary.

[B]

Funny, iconic and scary.

[C]

Oh, my. Funny, iconic, and scary.

[B]

Oh, my. Can I get a feature?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah. I got pipes.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

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[C]

Running a business is hard enough, so.

[D]

Why make it harder With a dozen.

[C]

Different apps that don't talk to each other.

[D]

Introducing Odoo, the only business software you'll ever need.

[C]

It's an all in one fully integrated platform that makes your work easier from CRM, accounting, inventory, e commerce, and more.

[D]

And the best part, Odoo replaces multiple.

[C]

Expensive platforms for a fraction of the cost. That's why over thousands of businesses have made the switch. So why not you try Odoo for [e-mail] that's o d o o dot com.

[B]

At Capella University, learning the right skills could make a difference. That's why our business programs teach you relevant skills you can take from the course room to the workplace. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University.

[A]

Learn more at Capella Edu.

[B]

I already know it's going to come true, but I wish those dreams to come true for you. And huge fan.

[C]

I'm a fan of you.

[B]

Oh my God. Seriously, stop. Wait. You have to remember, the first time we met was like right outside of the studio. You were waiting to go do Halley's vlog and I like lost my.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, oh my God. Yeah. Can I please get a picture with you? I don't ask anybody for a picture. And I was like, can I please get a picture with you? The video flopped, so I made it to just friends only, but.

That'S all me, not you. Yeah.

I'm going through a bad time on TikTok.

[C]

Listen, you, this is, this is a little advice that I always say. You'll always be like this, but you have to always think you're going like that.

[B]

Absolutely. 100%, you know? Yeah. The, the, the hills, the peaks, the valleys.

[C]

Yes. The hills are alive.

[B]

Well, you have to have an incline in your mind.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

And then this is one last segment that we do. We just, we have you look right into the camera and do a rapid fire shout out of whoever you want for however long you want and just give the people the love that they deserved.

[C]

Love you. Okay. Shout out to my boy Mick. I'm going to see him perform in the Rockettes tonight. He's on the ensemble.

[B]

That's so exciting.

[C]

I know. And you know, just to all of my friends, keep killing it. Family love you and fuck it up and where they.

[B]

And plug your. Plug your socials and whatnot. And what with. That's the follow up of that.

[C]

My mouth goes around.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And then you can also follow me on Tick Tock and Instagram. Dylan Cabbage and stream and stream my new song, shut the up on Me on Spotify and Apple Music.

[B]

It's also on Instagram. Put it on your stories. Guys. When you repost the, the, when you, when you, when you post. Hey, guys, will you guys post this show? And when you post this show that you're watching the show, we use his song. It's not begging, it's just asking. Yeah. Thanks for watching, guys. Much love.

[C]

That was. Wait, that was really fun.

[B]

Hell yeah. Awesome.