Three O’Malleys Walk Into a Podcast *Sister Ep!*

Summary

Podcast Summary: Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley – Episode: "Three O’Malleys Walk Into a Podcast Sister Ep!"

Release Date: August 14, 2025

Hosts: Grace O’Malley, Nora O’Malley, and guest Maggie O’Malley

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Introduction and Reuniting with Sisters (00:01:10 - 02:07)

After a hiatus due to recording episodes in Los Angeles, Grace O’Malley welcomes listeners back to the "Disgraceful" studio in Manhattan. Joined by her sister Nora and guest Maggie O’Malley, the episode marks a special "sister" edition where Grace auditions her sisters, including the youngest, Molly, for a co-host spot.

Notable Quote:

"Hi, guys. It's Disgraceful. And we're back right here live in the studio." — Grace O’Malley [01:33]

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Personal Stories and Family Dynamics (02:07 - 12:00)

Grace delves into her family background, sharing anecdotes from her eighth-grade experience when her parents had another child, leading to the addition of Molly to the family. The conversation humorously touches on sibling rivalries and the challenges of being part of a larger family.

Notable Quote:

"I've never heard you call mom and... Dad." — Maggie O’Malley [02:29]

The sisters discuss Grace’s struggles with podcast hosting, her honesty about not being a natural host, and the impact of modern media trends, particularly referencing Stephen Colbert's influence on podcasting.

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Adventures at the Movie Premiere (11:15 - 15:00)

Grace recounts attending the premiere of "Happy Gilmore," where she and Maggie navigated the crowd of celebrities. They share amusing encounters with John Cena and "Urkel" (Steve Urkel), highlighting Grace's humorous attempts to interact with familiar faces.

Notable Quote:

"They were all holding up fists. I think one of them is a fighter." — Maggie O’Malley [66:01]

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Hawaii Trip: Memorable Moments and Family Bonding (16:00 - 26:00)

The core of the episode revolves around Grace’s trip to Hawaii with her mother. She narrates the emotional journey, from booking the trip during financial uncertainty to the overwhelming joy it brought her mother. The sisters share funny and heartwarming stories from their Hawaiian vacation, including mishaps with luggage, running into celebrities, and engaging in hotel activities.

Notable Quote:

"I rent. I balled out. I went fucking crazy. I got us a fucking convertible to drive to the goddamn hotel." — Grace O’Malley [17:03]

They also discuss Grace’s first stand-up show in Hawaii, expressing pride and excitement over her growth as a comedian.

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Voicemails Segment: Petty Sibling Fights (36:15 - 56:58)

Grace and Maggie introduce a segment where they read listener-submitted voicemails about the pettiest fights they've had with their siblings. The stories range from disputes over minor monetary issues to elaborate pranks involving underwear and birthday lies.

Notable Quote:

"It's also, I'm on her side. Fuck the people who think they can Maggie o' Malley think they can take the rest of the money." — Grace O’Malley [39:49]

One standout voicemail discusses a prolonged feud over $10 on Venmo, showcasing the longevity and silliness of sibling disagreements.

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"Who Knows Which Sister Better?" Rapid-Fire Quiz (56:58 - 75:05)

In a playful twist, Grace and Maggie engage in a rapid-fire quiz to determine who knows each other better. They answer personal questions ranging from favorite TV shows and first kisses to childhood memories and personal habits.

Notable Quote:

"What would be your sister's last meal? That's hilarious." — Grace O’Malley [57:10]

This segment highlights the close yet teasing relationship between the sisters, offering listeners an intimate glimpse into their personalities and shared history.

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Closing Remarks and Final Moments (75:05 - End)

The episode wraps up with humorous reflections on the day's discussions, emphasizing the importance of familial bonds despite petty arguments. Grace encourages listeners to cherish their siblings and make amends where necessary.

Notable Quote:

"If you have a sister, hold her tight, pull her in, and make up for what you've started, because you know you started it." — Grace O’Malley [76:56]

The hosts bid farewell with laughter and heartfelt thanks, setting the stage for future episodes filled with more family-oriented humor and stories.

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Key Takeaways:

• Family Bonds: The episode emphasizes the strong yet complex relationships between siblings, showcasing both conflicts and deep connections.

• Personal Growth: Grace shares her journey in podcasting and stand-up comedy, highlighting her vulnerabilities and achievements.

• Humorous Anecdotes: Through engaging stories from Hollywood premieres to Hawaiian vacations, the sisters provide a blend of humor and heartfelt moments.

• Listener Engagement: The voicemails segment allows listeners to connect by sharing their own familial tales, fostering a sense of community.

This episode of "Disgraceful with Grace O’Malley" serves as a heartfelt and humorous exploration of family dynamics, personal growth, and the enduring bonds between sisters.

Transcript

[Grace O'Malley]

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[Nora O'Malley]

Coming at you live from a shady Manhattan studio. It's Disgraceful. Featuring your gracious ginger host.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hey, watch yourself. Only I can say that.

[Nora O'Malley]

Okay, boss. Whatever you say. You pay my bills. Give it up for Grace O Ali.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hi, guys. It's Disgraceful. And we're back right here live in the studio. It's been a very long time since we've been on the studio. I don't know if you guys noticed, but we've kind of banked a ton of episodes when we were in la, like, three, three months ago. And we're kind of just playing catch up now. So good to see you. Happy summer. I got Nora in the studio. She's been waving.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Hey, guys. And me.

[Grace O'Malley]

She's back. We're back.

[Maggie O'Malley]

We're back.

[Grace O'Malley]

We're doing Lil slash sister episode.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Little sister episode. With a little sister.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Our little sister's coming, too.

[Grace O'Malley]

Our little sister's coming. Maggie's coming. That's our third one in. And then there's Molly that no one believes is real only because she's 12 years old. Same parents. It just. It doesn't really correlate. If you want to hear more about that, I'll tell you. So when I was in eighth Grade I the My My mother and father got pregnant with a baby.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I've never heard you call mom and.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dad mother and father.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's crazy. Mother and father had a child.

[Grace O'Malley]

So anyways, in 8th grade my mother and my father, they got pregnant and ew. And they had Molly and so we had to move to a different town and there was a slight little bit rumor that it was mine because I was. Well, these yetis popped out in about fifth grade. Okay. But yeah, no happy to be back. We're in the studio. It's good stuff. For years everyone thought Verizon had the best network because they did. But now the the best mobile network in the US is T Mobile. T Mobile's network has the most advanced 5G with more towers and their signal reaches further than ever. So you can text an insta talk and say, you won't believe where I am.

[Nora O'Malley]

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[Grace O'Malley]

Ookla of speed test intelligence data 1H 2025C T mobile.comNetwork ready for a healthy.

[Sunny]

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[Grace O'Malley]

Here's my thing. If I'm going to be completely honest with all of you, I the way I've been doing the podcast hasn't really been my jam. I'm not much of a host and I also can't read. That's like point blank, period. I've been hanging out with a lot of people who could help me get jobs in places where I really would love to work. And I just keep telling people, yeah, no, it's fine, I can't read. So I just figured I should be honest with all of you guys. Anytime I look down at the cards, there's a pause. I don't even say people's last names right. And I'm working on that because that's important for this because that's never going to go away. But I'm not much of a host and I wanted to switch it up and kind of have it be like a little bit more of like a banter kind of episode. Each episode Just kind of changing the whole thing. But then Colbert happens. Podcasting is the new late night, and I kind of had the right idea here.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's kind of crazy. As soon as that happened, you're like, oh, we already have one.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. So I don't want to give up while we're ahead. Thanks so much for watching those of you who do, because, like Colbert, I might not be here in a year or so, so. I'm just kidding. I hope not. I. I love this job, and I just. I don't know. The numbers are killing me. I'm in trouble on TikTok. I didn't know what was going on. I have a lot of people saying, Grace, I haven't seen you on my for you page in so long. Grace, what's going on? Who did you upset? People think that somebody paid. Are the sisters here? All right, guys, we're back. Maggie o' Malley has arrived into the studio. Maggie, welcome in. I'm here. I'm Maggie. If I. You can lift your hat up a little more so they can see your beautiful eyes. You got your father's eyes, kid. Just like me. Just like Nora. Molly have them, too?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Probably not. Whoa.

[Grace O'Malley]

Why?

[Maggie O'Malley]

What do you mean?

[Grace O'Malley]

Why would you say that? I'm kidding.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I'm kidding.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. She's a little nervous, you know, so she's picking on her younger sister. Listen, I get it. No, but welcome in, Megs. I wish I prepared something for you, but I honestly didn't know you were coming. And I was told you were coming many weeks ago, but then I forgot.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I figured. Yeah, I had no idea if you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Knew I was coming or not. Yeah, Well, I think the reason why you're here made it go in one ear and out the other. What are you doing this weekend?

[Unnamed Speaker]

Definitely Chris Stapleton.

[Grace O'Malley]

A country concert. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So, really pumped for you. Nora's got her outfit ready to go. Yee haw. You look like Vanna. White girl.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Maggie.

[Grace O'Malley]

Maggie o'. Malley. Maggie, tell us a little about yourself. I don't think anyone's ever got to meet you or know you. And this is a nice moment to share. My sisters. Sorry, Molly. One of these days I gotta have a sit down. Just me and Molly.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That'd be awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

12 year old sister. Just me and Molly. I ask her, like, what are the kids doing? What's cool, what's not cool, you know? So, yeah, tell them about yourself. That's the best thing to have to do.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Oh, I graduated high school.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. That makes a hat trick for our family. Three of us out of four so far have graduated high school. Molly. We'll see. You know. Okay, so if I were to describe myself and I was your age, I would say, yeah, I graduated high school, but then I'd have a follow up. Maybe something. Something interesting.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I played lacrosse in hockey in high school, and I'm playing lacrosse in college. I'm starting at community college this next semester.

[Grace O'Malley]

Just like your sis. Yep. Like sister. Like sister.

[Unnamed Speaker]

And then I'm transferring to play lacrosse. So, yeah, that's my plan.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hell, yeah. We're all very proud of you.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Thanks.

[Grace O'Malley]

And not to toot my own horn, but I did give Maggie some cash for her graduation to get a car, because I know what it's like when you're in community college and you don't have a car or you have your license taken away and your dad has to drive you. That's a whole other thing. I didn't get a Dewey. What I did was I went to Martha's Vineyard and I used a fake id, you know, and they really. They were trying to use me as an example. And that's a whole nother story for another day, but I know what it's like. So I was like, hey, kid, here's a little bit of cash. You're gonna get a clunker. And the plan was for you to have it by h. First week of August, Saturday.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

How's that going?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Works.

[Unnamed Speaker]

I had a car ready to go, and I texted Nora and Grace that I had it, and I sent pictures, and it was really nice, like, the black car that I sent. So we went to.

[Grace O'Malley]

Doesn't matter what color it was.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Okay.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yikes.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's Boston.

[Unnamed Speaker]

We went to go pick up the car, me and my dad. It was like, an hour and 20 minutes away. We get there, it's like a little shack, and we didn't see the car, so we went up to the shack.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't think you should be describing people's houses as shacks.

[Unnamed Speaker]

No, it was like a mechanic shack.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay. All right.

[Unnamed Speaker]

It was like a mechanic and then a shack next to it, which was the car dealership.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't want to be canceled by guilt of association by my sister, who I'm just now introducing. So I'm just, you know, I'm being careful.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay.

[Unnamed Speaker]

So we went there, and we were like, where's the car? Like, I messaged you on Facebook. Like, I would just like to test drive it. Like, we talked about. She was like, oh, I sold it. Like 10 minutes ago.

[Grace O'Malley]

So that's been my luck. Fucking brutal, dude.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah. So now I can't trust anything.

[Grace O'Malley]

That story is also, might I add, hilarious. But, yeah, no, we're working on it. That was in the clause, so she had to have the. I wanted her to first. I wanted you to get a job.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, I know.

[Grace O'Malley]

How's that going? Have you applied to places?

[Maggie O'Malley]

I did.

[Grace O'Malley]

Guys, give a kid a job. Give a goddamn kid a job. Listen, I'm talking to my mass locals here. South Shore, specifically. She'll have a car soon, so she could go North Shore if you need her. But a job's a job. Yeah, listen, I. I was flipping hamburgers. But anyways, less about me. What more about you. You recently just got two tattoos.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I did?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. That's what you do when you turn 18. You go. And you.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Especially 18.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stick it to the man. Well, my dad always said. Our dad always said if you get a tattoo while you're living under this house, you won't be anymore. And that rule doesn't apply when you're the third child. I guess a lot of rules don't apply to you, do they? No. No, never. A funny thing about your tattoo is it's spelled wrong. Yep. She took it verbatim from one of my grandma's notes. And she might have spelled dearly wrong.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Yeah, it has an extra E at the end, just, like, placed in there.

[Grace O'Malley]

But it looks great.

[Unnamed Speaker]

He knows what it says.

[Grace O'Malley]

Great placement.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Mine's a little better.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, that's the bad one. Well, Maggie, anything else? No. Who's your favorite sister? She looked right at me. Thanks so much for coming on, Maggie.

[Unnamed Speaker]

Thanks for having me.

[Grace O'Malley]

That was really nice. I think that was a good little segue. Good segue for people to get to know. My sisters. And we got to have Molly on at some point. And definitely Mom.

[Maggie O'Malley]

We gotta have mom on.

[Grace O'Malley]

Definitely. Dad. Dad would actually be classic. But we're gonna have to cut a lot.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dad would be awesome, but he'd be. He'd just keep looking into the cameras like this.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know what my dad said recently to my mom? So what my dad does, he's. He watches television downstairs. That's like his jam. And so my mom came downstairs and he goes, you ever see this guy, Chris DiStefano? She's like, yeah, no, I've definitely seen him. I'm pretty sure Grace showed you one of his clips once, too. And he's like, oh, yeah. I guess that's how I know it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, I got to call Grace because Me, his dad, and him and Grace all got to get on the podcast together and shoot the shit, dude. Which, I'm not going to lie, would be nambies.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That'd be great.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I think that would be pretty classic, those guys getting together.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dad's talking to each other is probably one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, they just, like. They just riff.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, speaking of which. So we went to the Happy Gilmore premiere. I can't shut the fuck up about it. That was, like, the coolest thing ever of all time. I don't even know why I was even allowed to be there. It was crazy. So cool being in a room of.

[Maggie O'Malley]

People who are all so familiar to you, but you can't go up to them, but you know them, but they have no idea who you are and actually don't care.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, well, I think. I think you're not giving them enough credit.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. But it was, like this thing where I felt like I knew these guys.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And then if I went up and had conversation like I wanted to, being like, how have you been? And I haven't seen you in so long? They'd be like. It was. It was literally just a room full of literally the funniest people. I kept locking eyes with John Cena, and I said, I don't even know.

[Grace O'Malley]

How you could see him, dude.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That was my joke. No, it went fully over your head at the premiere. I said, grace, there's this guy that I keep locking eyes with that I'm not supposed to be able to see. She goes, what? I go, john Cena. Oh, and we sat next to Urkel. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Maggie O'Malley]

We sat down next to Urkel the entire movie. And at one point in the movie, they do a Urkel reference. And I almost went and knuckle punched, but then I got too nervous that he wouldn't like it, so I was like, I'm not doing that. I can't do that.

[Grace O'Malley]

So Urkel, unfortunately, is one of those guys where. That's not his name. That's his character's name.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No. And his name I just remembered, and it's out of my head.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes. See, that's what I'm talking about. So Urkel, unfortunately, is one of those names that you just know him as Urkel. That's his character along with McLovin.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dude. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That poor bastard. And I bet he hates it. What.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What's his real name?

[Grace O'Malley]

Exactly. Damn. Nora just whispered, what's his real name?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, exactly.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sucks.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's tough.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Just some. Some of those guys just kind of.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Got some of those names. Yeah, we. We overstayed our welcome, but it was a. It was a great time. We weren't bothering anyone. We were kind of just staying to ourselves.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know, but, like, there's, like, this unspoken rule when you go to something like that. Leave before it gets empty. And we just did it. We were grabbing hot dogs, fucking, singing and dancing.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dancing, like, busting moves by ourselves, no one around. And then the entire cast of the movie's just at a table near us, and we weren't part of it, so it was time to go. But I will say, the entire premiere, I knew exactly who was standing next to me, because every single time, I got a huge whiff of cigarettes, and I knew that John Daly was next to me. And he seems like an uncle.

[Grace O'Malley]

He seems like a what?

[Maggie O'Malley]

An uncle. Oh, he's one of our uncles.

[Grace O'Malley]

He is the uncle. You know, the uncle that you see on Thanksgiving that you're like, oh, we're gonna have to go see Uncle John. Yeah, that's the uncle.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's the uncle, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

He's classic.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And he plays the uncle in the movie. They're like, watch Uncle John when I'm gone. It's awesome, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I didn't even. Someone yelled, uncle John, and I was.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Like, wow, that guy looks wicked familiar, dude. He parted his hand in front of me, and I was like, oh, John Daley. Go for it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Go for it. Oh, what. What did you say about the bar?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, dude. So John Daly, before he parted the seas to go in front of me to meet up with whoever, he went up to the bar and he goes. And they go, what would you like, sir? And he goes, for those of you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Listening at home, he just threw his hands up.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, he threw his hands up. And he was like, well, like, wouldn't the bartender know that that's John Daly? To give him a John Daly?

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, that's just what he assumes, you know?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So he's John Daily, and I respect that.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's awesome. To be able to walk up to a bar, be your own person, literally not do anything, just stand there silent, and someone hands you the drink that you know that you want, you just.

[Grace O'Malley]

Point at your face. What do you want, sir? Right here. One of these?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, I'll take a me, please. That's epic.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's epic. What if you stopped liking it? What if you ever got sick of that drink?

[Maggie O'Malley]

You can't ever. You can't ever go back from that.

[Grace O'Malley]

You can't ever.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I heard His. His wife was next to him. He walked away because he got all pissed off and his wife or girlfriend or whoever was next to him.

[Grace O'Malley]

Listen, John, I think that's actually pretty cool. I. I just throwing a lot of dirt on John Daly's name right now.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I didn't throw any dirt on Secrets.

[Grace O'Malley]

Bro, which I actually alley ooped you for. But I want nothing to do with the crowd.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That wasn't a secret. He literally just went up and they didn't know what he was talking about, so he walked away.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't think he was super mad.

[Maggie O'Malley]

He was like that. And then he was probably. Yeah, kind of probably piss. He's John Daly. He literally throws. He is Happy Gilmore.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What else do you want to talk about?

[Grace O'Malley]

Let's look on the docket.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Well, we haven't heard about Hawaii yet.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, thank you so much for bringing it up.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No problem.

[Grace O'Malley]

I went to Hawaii.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I've been dying.

[Grace O'Malley]

I've been dying to tell you guys. I wrote everything down so I don't forget anything. So when I booked this trip for my mom for Christmas, it was at a time where I had no idea where my life was going. I just kind of took a whim and a guess and bought her a first class class ticket with points. But then the rest of the trip I had to pay for and I didn't know if I was going to have money in the next six months.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because I was at a lull period. I had all these tour dates booked, but I didn't know they were going to sell out like they did. Shout out, you guys.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Shout out tour.

[Grace O'Malley]

But. Shout out tour. Shout out tour. Yes, but yeah, no, I just like, I. I bought it. And I was like, yeah, I just kind of booked it with my fingies crossed. I was like, okay, this is. I hope this goes well. So I landed first, but we landed like right at the same time, basically.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I came and got mom. She's walking out of the tunnel bawling her eyes out, just like so awesome. I'm like, you're already crying. She's like, I've been crying the whole flight.

[Maggie O'Malley]

She was sending pictures from the flight because she. She was so stressed that she wouldn't have wi fi on the flight also. And she was like, I think in first class, I think you do get wi fi.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yes. One thing about my mom, she tastes luxury and she never wants to leave it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It was awesome, though. She was so excited. She took also, you get to pick a meal when you go to Hawaii on a first class Flight mom took probably at least a half an hour to decide her meal to go to Hawaii.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I mean, like, very particular.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So she was crying as soon as we got there. And I rent. I. I balled out. I went fucking crazy. I got us a fucking convertible to drive to the goddamn hotel. It was just like an extra added bonus. But my mom packed so much luggage, like, so much luggage that they. It almost didn't all fit in the two seat convertible. And so we're shoving all the luggage. We've got two fucking bags in the back. They're sitting up like human beings. And we, we. I was like, dude, come.

[Maggie O'Malley]

This is gonna fuck.

[Grace O'Malley]

This is gonna fuck me up if it doesn't come on. And it ended up working out. Everything always does. Got to the hotel, she starts crying. I start crying. I'm trying to check us in at the hotel. They're like, is everything all right, ma'? Am? She's like, I mean. And she walked away. And they go, is she okay? I'm like, no, she's excellent.

[Maggie O'Malley]

This is exactly what she wants.

[Grace O'Malley]

They're like, oh, that's. What was the name?

[Maggie O'Malley]

They were like, we've never seen someone bawling their eyes out to get to Hawaii.

[Grace O'Malley]

Especially at these douchebag hotels. I went to a douchebag hotel and everybody there. I can't even believe how insane these people are. And now I totally understand how Mike White went on vacation, heard a bunch of people talking and was like, this is TV magic.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's the smartest idea for a show ever, dude.

[Grace O'Malley]

I literally. I wanted to make a TikTok while we were there, but then I didn't really want to, like, I didn't really want to whip my phone. I just kind of, like, kept my phone away the whole time we were there. So I didn't really, like, record anything, but if I were to have recorded, I wrote down everything people were saying.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's awesome. And people watching on vacation is probably one of the best things.

[Grace O'Malley]

It really is.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And then, like, you make them characters throughout the entire stay. And you're like, oh, Jedediah's going swimming again.

[Grace O'Malley]

So here are some real life things I overheard at this hotel in Hawaii.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

Can you have someone run up to room 1211 and get a speaker? We left it. And we need you to bring it down to the pool so we can have it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No, please.

[Grace O'Malley]

Calling the front desk. Big old guy. So that was that one.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's wild.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, this little. It was a child at. It was at the concierge station. I was trying to check in for ukulele lessons, and this little kid goes, I don't want to go horseback riding. And they go, oh, but there's a waterfall at the end. She goes, well, is it going to be cold Die, dude.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Imagine your parents are like, we're gonna go on this. Nice. Oh, my God. Being such a spoiled little kid that you don't. Seeing a waterfall. Sick.

[Grace O'Malley]

I just.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Going on a horsey.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sick. This is like. I can't even comprehend how rich these people are and how douchey they are and how, like, just, like, just. Oh, they just, like, don't see the real world. It's wild. And this is what I wrote down. A lot of the times mom and I were like, hey, guys, how you doing? Like, getting an elevator, you know, and just blank stare.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Sick.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Do you think they were traveling from, like, different countries and, like, didn't know what you were saying or.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, every single person. When we said hi and hello, I.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Don'T know, it was.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, it was just driving me crazy.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No one was saying every person. That's insane.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was nuts. Then there was a guy in the pool, and he's like, he was trying to hit on these pretty, pretty ladies, and he goes, where are you guys from? And then he doesn't wait for a response, and he goes, yeah, I'm from Vegas.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, God. Well, that's exactly someone from Vegas. That's exactly what you should expect.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then the girls go, oh, cool. And he goes, yeah, the food options are terrible here, right? Nightmare. Got. I got out of the hot tub. I was like, I don't even want to be a part of this. I overheard some guy on the phone again. Getting your kid to do any kind of activity is almost impossible when you're worth a million dollars. Some guy talking on the phone, walking by.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What the fuck? Yeah, what the fuck?

[Grace O'Malley]

On FaceTime, this. This lady was classic. She was so awesome. She. I think she was like. I don't want to say where she was from, because it might give it away on who she was, but she's on FaceTime. Mommy needs to get in the hot tub and you need to go to bed. Be good for Auntie, or else I'm going to come home, I'm going to slap your bum silly, and you can kiss that trip to Disney goodbye.

[Maggie O'Malley]

He sounds aw.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, she was elected, actually. She was a real person.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, she seems normal.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, she was cool. And she was classic. She was just, like, all around classic awesome. And then there was this little shit fucker it's just kids. It's just like. It's rich, spoiled kids. They drive me crazy. It was this one kid and he goes, mom, where are my chicken nuggets? Screaming it in the pool. And then the dad goes, does she look like she's in the kitchen? Which is a crazy response as well. And then the kid goes, well, I've been waiting like way too long for them. Okay. Yeah. So that. Yeah. I mean, people are crazy. People are nuts.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's kind of cool though.

[Grace O'Malley]

At.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Mom showed me that at that hotel. There's 18 plus hotel pool. Yeah. And we utilized that, which is probably awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

That was really.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's like being a kid, you're like, why? Why would someone be only adults?

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. I remember being the kid being like, that's so up. Why? Why only adults? That's so boring. It actually looks like a boring.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, but it makes sense when you just want to like going on vacation and get away from stress.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I. I will say you can still hear the faint yells of little children drowning each other. That's all they did.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Seems like your dream, the way you just described it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Moving on. Oh, we did all the activities. Mom was all locked in on all the activities. She was the only one hula dancing with the children. We did ukulele. Ukulele at eight in the morning. But it meant a lot to her because our grandmother always wanted to learn ukulele. So I really tried to be strong. But here's my thing. I'm not very good at having to be explained how to do something because I1 can't pay attention. Then I get frustrated when I can't do it because I wasn't paying attention.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so I was just kind of like I was giving it my all, you know. It was good. And then. Oh, every day we had a new surprise in our room. It was so awesome. It was so sick. As soon as we got there, my. The travel agent that I use, Shout out my girlfriend, she left us like a bottle of champagne and some sweet banana bread. And then Maureen. Oh, Shout Out Maureen and the tarte team. Wow. That rhymes. Did you do that on purpose?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Maureen and team.

[Grace O'Malley]

Wow. She's too good. But she really is too good. I saw her that week and she saw that I was going to Hawaii and she sent us three bottles of wine.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Three.

[Grace O'Malley]

Three bottles of wine.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, sweetheart. She seems like a sweetest person on the planet.

[Grace O'Malley]

She also sent me a suitcase full of stuff to take to Hawaii.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Which.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That was so sweet. We grace opened it and it Was a suitcase just full of clothes.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was so, like, nice.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Like cover ups bathing suits. Like a good American bathing suit. Like all this awesome stuff. I want to give her a hug and I don't even know her.

[Grace O'Malley]

I know. She's just like the best. She really rocks. And she like, gives back all the time. And I just saw her on TikTok, she's like, this is my first time in a penthouse suite. They upgraded me. And like, you're a billionaire also. You have a billionaire company and like, you're just down to earth and cool. And that's how you should be.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, that's exactly how you should be. Exactly.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, love Maureen.

[Maggie O'Malley]

She's killing it on TikTok also.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my gosh. She gets me fired up.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Her own Persona. She's killing it.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know how you have inside jokes on vacation?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So this is not going to make any sense, but our inside joke was we saw this grandma and she looked like she didn't know what to do with a baby in the pool. And so mom goes, oh, it kind of looks like that grandmother's drowning that child. And so that child we then named Bobby, Bobby the baby, because it's bobbing in the ocean trying to survive.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's awesome. That's great.

[Grace O'Malley]

And so we just kept saying, hey, has anyone seen Bobby? Where's Bobby? Really worried about Bobby. And then any lady that looked like the grandma, like, we know what you did.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, I just, I don't know, I just. I think it's fun when you have like a little inside, inside joke on vacation. Oh, and then I did a show.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yes.

[Grace O'Malley]

I did a show in Hawaii, which is very full circle, and I said it on my Instagram. But last time I was in Hawaii, I was down bad, which is crazy because you can't really be down bad in Hawaii. So I wasn't like, really down bad, but like, when I got back, I was going to be down bad. And so I kind of. I decided people are talking about manifesting all the time, might as well give it a whirl ski. And so I did under the moonlight.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Under a little shroom.

[Grace O'Malley]

And within the year I got it done.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Which is really fucking cool. And so it was really full circle because one of the, the, like, number one things I wrote down was I wanted to start taking stand up more serious, which is an oxymoron. But a year later I was. A year and a half later I was there doing a show which was like, absolutely insane with my mom like.

[Maggie O'Malley]

After doing, like, a whole six months of shows.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Stand up show. Sold out. Standout show. Stand up shows. Not to flex on you, but.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I can't say thank you so much. I already said it today already. I guess I don't usually flex like that, but. Come on now.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No. That is exciting. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

So that show was awesome. Shout out James Monet and Alyssa May Smith. It was awesome. Those are the openers. They rocked. If you ever have a chance to go to Hawaii, want to see a comedy show. Those guys. Fantastic. Also met Island Magic Mike. That guy was the man.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Island Magic Mike.

[Grace O'Malley]

Island Magic Mike?

[Maggie O'Malley]

As in, like, stripper Magic Mike?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Rock on. There's no other Magic Mike, but sick. But this one.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Was he hot?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, he had it going on, you know, and so he was there. Mom and I. My mom and I, we got facials the day before. And my girl Megan, she was doing my facial and I fell asleep, which I think is so rude.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Not during a facial.

[Grace O'Malley]

She said it happens all the time. She also told me this crazy story of one time she was doing a facial and the girl she was working on stuck her hands down her pants.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Her own pants.

[Grace O'Malley]

Her own pants.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, well, she was getting a facial. She decided to jack it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, she whacked it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

She was getting all dizzy with it.

[Grace O'Malley]

She was going wax on, wax off.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Whoa.

[Grace O'Malley]

Which is, like, literally insane. I was in awe.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay, hear me out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because we were talking about celebrities, and I was like, oh, like, I bet you have celebrities there sometimes.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. But like, whoa.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then she was like, yeah, the celebrities are actually pretty nice. It's these random, weird ladies.

[Maggie O'Malley]

But like a facials, like, when you're getting a facial, it's kind of painful. Like at point, at points when they're doing, like, the extractions and stuff.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, not. Not with her.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was amazing.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay, so you're making it sound like there's a reason to creep.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would have, kid.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's also wild.

[Grace O'Malley]

Gross.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I would have got it. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stop it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What?

[Grace O'Malley]

The hand gesture.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Everyone does it.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, no, no. There's a lot of all my. I don't want to put anyone on blast, but I have a multitude of friends who say they have never masturbated.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What? Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Or they tried it and they said, that's so weird.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's so. Different strokes, different folks.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm getting uncomfortable. So we met them, we went out, and we had a blast. And then the next day, they left us a care package of all, like, Hawaiian goodies.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's so sweet.

[Grace O'Malley]

So awesome.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

And mom was pumped because she was dying to get to a gift shop.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And there weren't any around. Like, one day, she was. She was like, I'm going to go to a gift shop. And I was like, the ones in the lobby, they're kind of bougie and stupid. And she was like, no, no, no. I'm gonna go for a ride. And she was gone for, like, five hours.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. I tracked her one day, and she was. You were on one side of the island, and mom was on the other side of the island. So I texted both of you. I was like, everything all right?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. She was an hour and a half away.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. And she went to grocery stores.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

My favorite day of my whole life. And again, I wrote. Sorry.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Free diving with sharks. Sick. It was literally my dream come true. I've wanted to do that my whole life. I thought it was going to be in a cage when I did it, because I knew I was going to do it. It was on my bucket list. But we didn't have a cage. It was from that new documentary, Shark Whisperer.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, perfect.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And that came out the week we were there. And it's the same company, same girl that took us out that day.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, really?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it was her. Well, it wasn't. She wasn't there, but it was, like, her company. Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's cool.

[Grace O'Malley]

And one of my homegirls hooked me up to meet up with her cousin, and they took us out.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And that's so fun.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was just so sick, dude. The only thing that was a little bit of a bummer was that I got to stop smoking. I got to stop smoking because I could not breathe. It was crazy. I'd go down for, like. I think I was able to go, like, down because you, like, kick down, and then your ears pop. And the whole time, I couldn't breathe, like, at all. I think I made it down, like, five seconds total.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And you also can't swim without holding your nose.

[Grace O'Malley]

You don't have to bring that up, because I literally is wearing scuba gear, so.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's true. But I feel like you're also not used to swimming without doing. With doing two hands.

[Grace O'Malley]

You also failed swimming lessons.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, because I was three.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, and you were bad.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, I was a bad swimmer at three years old.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you know how much I hated swimming lessons?

[Maggie O'Malley]

I can hold my breath underwater.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think. I can't swim that good. And I hold my nose because I was being defiant because our mom would just drop us off at a beach in Weymouth, Massachusetts. Shout out Weymouth. Shout out.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Old was a gusset.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, Maggie's going crazy right now. All of Maggie's friends are from Weymouth. Shout out Weymouth. Anyways, my dad grew up in Weymouth. It's Weymouth. All roads lead home to Weymouth. Sometimes an identity threat is a ring of professional hackers. And sometimes it's an overworked accountant who forgot to encrypt their connection while sending bank details. I need a coffee. And you need Lifelock. Because your info is in endless places. It only takes one mistake to expose you to identity theft. Lifelock monitors hundreds of millions of data points a second. If your identity is stolen, we'll fix it, guaranteed. Or your money back. Save up to 40% your first [e-mail] specialoffer terms apply.

[Sunny]

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, right this way.

[Sunny]

Who, me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

[Nora O'Malley]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences. Just for being a customer at t mobile, VIP means y ou check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.

[Grace O'Malley]

Anyways, if you watched me for a little bit, you might know that. Of course, the way I want to go out is I need you to take my body once I'm already dead, and I need you to throw it into a shark's mouth and then throw a stick of dynamite into the shark's mouth and have it explode. And all my loved ones can see a great explosion with me and the shark forever swimming amongst the sea.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I will say, when you were young, you said, throw it in my mouth first, then it's the chunks, and throw the chunks in the shark's mouth.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, is that what it was?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Now I kind of just want your dream date. It's your dream. It's your dream date.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's my dream date. No, I'm really into planning my funeral.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Christ. Oh, yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

But it doesn't have to be like that. It really doesn't. Fucking funerals are so sad. And it's already sad enough that you lost somebody.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, so.

[Grace O'Malley]

And here's the thing. Nobody ever fucking does what the person asked them to.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That is true.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's like, they're like, no, we have to do this for us. Like, well, sorry, it's not Your life.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, true.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I don't care.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I just want no wake and play Free Bird.

[Grace O'Malley]

What do you think about being, like, swung in like Tarzan and then I kind of wanted to. Yeah. Everyone has to give a speech and you have to chug a beer. I think I might do this for my 30th.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That'd be awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

Anyways, because I. I was thinking, like, death to your 20s. People do that kind of a party. And I kind of want to, like, have my funeral while I'm alive.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Would your funeral be like. Like, the speeches are roast style or, like, they're just, like, nice speeches?

[Grace O'Malley]

I think. I think by the time I'm dirty, I could handle a roast.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I meant for your funeral.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, sorry about that.

[Maggie O'Malley]

But you could also.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

If you can handle the roast. Do a roast for your 30th. That'd be sick.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know. But I do. I want to have a living funeral. I think that would be cool. Kind of like what Ozzy just did. In peace.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. That was sick.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, whoa. That way.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That was just a living funeral for him.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I didn't think of it like that. I thought he was just saying goodbye to performing.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, it was like, his final goodbye, so. Okay, here's the thing. Today is the day that Hulk Hogan died, and I just know him as brother. I had no idea that Hulk Hogan was a bad guy. Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Major Trumpy. Never knew that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Never knew that. Everyone's saying he's a racist piece of shit. And I'm saying, rest in peace of legends.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Rest in peace, brother. Love you so much.

[Grace O'Malley]

Damn good one, brother.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Everything you did in life, I had no idea. I didn't know.

[Grace O'Malley]

Makes sense.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Makes a lot of sense. But, like, he's just like one of those, like, character people where he doesn't have, like. You never think of him having, like, a real life.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. He was just like a cartoon to me.

[Maggie O'Malley]

He's just 80s Logan. Paul.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. With Maggie being here this weekend, you think it's going to be a good sister day?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Well, it's going to be a good sister day with you two because you got. Whenever Maggie comes into town, it's you and Maggie versus me. Every single time.

[Grace O'Malley]

What do you mean by that?

[Maggie O'Malley]

It feels like when we were little again.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, this kind of, like, sounds like.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It'S all in your head. That sounds like a psychopath. This is all in your head. You're making this up. Grace used to tell Maggie to go in my room and scratch me.

[Grace O'Malley]

Scratch. I would have at least said punch.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No, you would say, go get Nora.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, my God.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's awesome. I heard it from the wall. Me and Grace's rooms were next to each other, a hallway dividing us. I'd hear, go get her, and then Maggie would run in. Maggie was evil, too. She had the longest fingernails on the planet. Disgusting, may I add. And then her hair was down to her ass cheeks. And she would just come in and just. And then leave. And you guys would be giggling in the room next door. And I was like, okay, but now everything's good.

[Grace O'Malley]

I gotta say I'm sorry.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's okay. I gotta say was definition. I was like, the definition. Middle child growing up because there was only three of us.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, that brings us to the sister segment.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Sister segment.

[Grace O'Malley]

What is a memory you have from childhood that you'll never forget?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Getting to play manhunt with your friends. You hated it, and I loved it. Yeah, that was awful, because they were trying to do sneaky stuff, and I had no idea. And I was just a little kid that would run around with you guys.

[Grace O'Malley]

Manhunt was an excuse to play truth or dare. You would. You would play manhunt for, like, an hour, and then you would. And then you'd, like, find stragglers and everyone be like. Just like, go back to the house and, like, I don't know, do something. And then everyone's looking around, being like. And you're waiting for that one freak to be like, let's play to the day.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Let's play spin the bottom.

[Grace O'Malley]

I never played spin the ball. Well, I watched people play one time because I don't think I was allowed to do it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What do you mean you weren't allowed? You made yourself not.

[Grace O'Malley]

The boys made me walk away. You wonder why I have intimacy issues.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No. Yeah, that's. I think that's happened to me, too.

[Grace O'Malley]

What has been something concerning from your TikTok algorithm recently?

[Maggie O'Malley]

I have a lot of Ozzy Osborne clips right now. That of him being crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. Because I have that, too. I went down a rabbit hole. Their whole life is on camera, which is really sick to watch. And they were so cool. I'm sorry. I don't know if they did anything bad or whatever.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No, they were sick.

[Grace O'Malley]

Their show rocks. Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I watched from episode one last night, the Osbournes. And it starts with them moving into their house. It's so awesome. They are. They're the most dysfunctional family, but they all get each other so well.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. It's beautiful.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Like, they. You can't understand anything. Ozzy's Saying. And they're like, yeah, that part's kind of sad.

[Grace O'Malley]

They kind of just, like, had a camera in his face while he was going through it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, that is true. No, but he was sober during it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm not telling you anything on my algorithm, but can you pull up your Instagram Explore page, please?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, no.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, and we're gonna have to. You're gonna have to just. So this is a fun game. This is gonna be a new segment on the show. I think it says a lot about a person, and I think it'll be disturbed. Comedians have to share what's on their Explore page. And what you're going to need to do is describe it for audio listeners. How about that?

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's a lot of, like, the. You know, like the. When Instagram first started. And it's the respond for tbh. It's like a bunch of, like, text posts like that, but they're all crossed out into different sayings. This one just says, today's a filler episode. This one says, okay, time to lez out. I think my algorithm thinks I'm a lesbian also.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think my algorithm knows I'm a lesbian, but I don't, which is funny. Okay, here we go. We've got a lot of text. Most of it's text, and then it's clips from TV shows. And stand up, of course. And the first picture says, pegging event at Westside Library, June 17.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Damn it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Missed it. This one says, white boy. Why? With a picture of a horse? Yeah, it's kind of crazy.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, we got the gist.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it's kind of crazy stuff up there.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. So for.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Pages are the best. I love export pages.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, up next, we are banging your voicemails. Let's do it, baby. All right, guys, we are doing your voicemails. We've got headphones on now. It's very elaborate. We've got it going on. Thank you so much for submitting. Anyone who wants to submit a voicemail, anytime, we've got it linked on our pages. Follow us, repost us, and always tag us in your stories, because I always forget to say that, and it's important. Let's get into the voicemails. All right, up first, I just want to preface that we asked, what's the pettiest fight you've ever gotten in with a sibling? And let's start off with number three. Hey, girl, boss diva. Hey, girl. So my brother and I got in a really petty fight over 10 cents, honestly.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I think because I bought Him a slushie, and he paid me back air quotes, but didn't pay me back enough by the 10 cents. So ever since then, it's probably happened like 10 years ago. Ever since then, every time I have to eat, transfer him, or anytime he transfers me, he takes away 10 cents and I add on 10 cents. So that's kind of awesome. Yeah, I would say the 10 cent.

[F]

Beef is standing strong.

[Maggie O'Malley]

10 cents.

[Grace O'Malley]

Classic.

[Maggie O'Malley]

10 cent beef's great.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's really good. And the fact that they're keeping it going 10 years later on Venmo, that's awesome.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I was gonna be like, all right, well, it's a slushie. But then I was. That's awesome.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's also, I'm on her side. Fuck the people who think they can Maggie o' Malley think they can take the rest of the money. When you go into the store and your parents give you 20 bucks and you go and you buy what you need to buy for the parents and then you pocket the rest of the money. Maggie, do you really want to fight on this? Do you remember what you did to our mother?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dude, it was bad. All right, listen to this. I'm going to say it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Maggie.

[Maggie O'Malley]

When we were little, our mom used to work at a bar, and she would have cash and put it in, like, a little jar every single night.

[Grace O'Malley]

She put it in a really great spot just in a jar in her room. Everyone could see it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. It was like. But, like, you wouldn't think anyone would take it. Maggie, one day was like, mom and dad, can we go? Can I go to GameStop? They were like, yeah. Do you have money? She was like, yeah. Our grandma gave us. Gave me a couple bucks for, like, Christmas or my birthday or whatever. Spends probably like 250 bucks and then goes another day and spends like, another $200. Yeah. She stole, like, $500 from our mom getting a bunch of video game stuff. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I'm going to blame that on my pops. I don't know why he thought she had all this coin. But, yeah, she was totally stealing from our mother and going to GameStop of all places, and buying video games. And it wasn't twice, and it wasn't that much money. It was. She went four times.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Four times.

[Grace O'Malley]

Four times. And she got a new game every time. And they're like, $50 game. So it was still $200, but it was crazy.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dad probably thought games were still like $5, though.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, it was nuts. I wish I got in on GameStop stock.

[Maggie O'Malley]

All right, next voice. Mo Hi, Grace.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love you. In Nora most petty fight, My brother took the biggest piece of my granola cereal, and I hit him, and he.

[G]

Threw a step ladder at me.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And things escalated from there. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

After he threw the stepladder at me, but, yeah, he took my cereal, and it was really bad.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What did you do? What did you throw?

[Grace O'Malley]

I wanna know what you threw. This is where they say there's two sides to every story, because you can't say it escalated from there and not follow through with that. If somebody's throwing a stepladder at me.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You go harder and heavier.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're getting knocked out cold.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Stepladder. You have to find the biggest thing next.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And then throw it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know. I need more information. I want to hear it from the brother's side. Sorry.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Also granola cereal. We could fight over something better.

[Grace O'Malley]

Their mom was probably one of those moms. It's probably the only food. Yeah, Granola moms. All right, let's go with number seven, birthday lies.

[G]

Hey, Grace.

[Sunny]

I have two little sisters, so naturally, with three girls in the house, we were all very petty. But I think the pettiest fight we've ever had was my youngest sister was really annoying me and my other sister. So we decided to make up a lie and tell her that her birthday was on August 25th instead of August 24th. And we kept it going for years. And when she finally figured out that we had lied to her about her birthday, she was super pissed. She had a huge meltdown, and it kind of turned into a war in our house because technically we made her miss her actual birthday for, like, five years.

[Maggie O'Malley]

How do your parents let that continue?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's. That's really good when the whole family's in on a. On a bit, though. Awesome. That's really good stuff, being like, no, today's my birthday.

[Maggie O'Malley]

They're like, no, it's tomorrow. Gaslighting you your whole life.

[Grace O'Malley]

I need to know how old she was when she found out.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And how did she find out? Yeah, she probably. This is what I'm picturing. She probably went to go get a passport for, like, a senior trip and.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Was like, what the fuck? Yeah, dude. Finding out that that's not your real birthday is insane.

[Grace O'Malley]

My parents just had to get their. Their marriage certificate for something and. And scan it. And when my mom read the marriage certificate, it was a unvalid date. It was like, what did it say?

[Maggie O'Malley]

What was it, the 33rd?

[Grace O'Malley]

It was.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

May.

[Maggie O'Malley]

May 30th. No.

[Grace O'Malley]

May 33rd. May 33rd, 2000.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, like the priest. Like some priest had to.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, no, this is the official document.

[Maggie O'Malley]

The priest had to write in a date and then they put it on like the legal document after that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Those priests, they just can't put down that bottle. All right, up next.

[F]

I'm not sure where to start. One was she. I got mad at her for not going to my 30th birthday party because she was being a little bitch and didn't want to go unless her best friend could get off work. And then since I was mad at her for not coming, then she got mad at me for being mad at her. I also got mad at her because she didn't want to come over for Christmas Eve because she said she didn't want to be in the car all night. Keep in mind we live 13 minutes from each other.

[Grace O'Malley]

Jesus Christ.

[F]

Right now we're fighting because her best friend secretly hates her events to me about her. And then I said something to my mom about it, and my mom copy and pasted the message and sent it to her. Oh, so now she's mad at me again.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Seems like your family's against you.

[F]

I sometimes I wish I was an only child.

[Grace O'Malley]

Here's the big sigh. Oh, I sometimes wish I was an only child. Here's the other thing.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, no, I. I feel.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't have the names on here. I feel terribly for you. Yeah, it does sound like your whole family's plotting against you.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Sorry.

[Grace O'Malley]

And it really seemed like you had to get it off your chest because you didn't even say hi or hello. You just said, where do I start? It's pretty brutal. 13 minute drive on Christmas Eve. Fuck that one. Right in the heart.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And not being able to go to the birthday party unless your friend goes. Yeah, but like, it's your sister. Yeah, I wouldn't do that with my sister. Yeah, I don't know what's going on.

[Grace O'Malley]

I would. I wouldn't. That's fucked up.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Sorry that that's going on with you. I think you guys should talk it out.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't think there's any talking to your sis, but you should work it out because it's your family. But she does sound, like, really immature.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You know what I learned in school? You can just pick your family.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's beautiful, Nora.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's next?

[G]

Hi, Grace. I love the show.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Thank you.

[G]

I'm not gonna say my name to stay anonymous.

[Grace O'Malley]

Fair.

[G]

But my pettiest fight with my sister. We share a room and so that just endless petty fights. But one That I explicitly remember is that I don't remember how it started, but she was upset with me. And when she went to go take a shower, I was like, okay, I'm gonna make her laugh. So I went into her dresser and I took out all of her clean underwear and I hung it up on our ceiling fan. And when she came into the room after her shower, I turned the fan on so the underwear just, like, flung around the room like it was, like, raining underwear. And I did it because I thought it was funny and it would make her laugh. And I was like, look at this underwear tree. She did not think it was funny. Actually, one of the wings of the fan broke off in the middle of the night from being, like, touched earlier that day.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's tough.

[G]

So then she was, like, extra mad. So, yeah, the underwear tree fight is what we refer to it as now. And it's laughable now. And we got a new ceiling fan. Thank God.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's good. Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm gonna guess that she is the younger sister, because this is not a funny prank at all. I would be. Fucking bullshit. Why you take my intimates and you put them on the.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Don't ever call them intimates.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm trying to be funny, Nora. No, but I would be pissed. And also, I got one thing, and I love and adore you. But you did say she was mad at you, but you can't remember why. Isn't that funny? Isn't that funny that you can't remember why she was mad at you? So you had. You did something so bad where you were like, I have to make her laugh. It's like. It's one of those things.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. That is. I probably would do the same thing.

[Grace O'Malley]

I don't know. I probably would have laughed.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I would've done the same thing.

[Grace O'Malley]

It depends. But here's the thing. Sharing a room, we were so blessed. We might have not had electricity, but we were so blessed that we didn't have to share a room. Because I've seen firsthand sisters share in a room, and it's ugly.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

Shout out to the Murphy girls.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Shout out.

[Grace O'Malley]

Murphy's one duo does it a lot better than the other. I will say. Ashley Murphy, I'm so sorry for being so mean to. Was just because Lexi had me on her side all the time. Because you guys were fighting in that room.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's all it was. And it all stems from that room. And I'm. I. I really apologize, Ash.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, Sharing rooms must be tough, but.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sharing rooms must be tough. All right. I Think we'll go to the next one.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Please.

[H]

The pettiest fight I ever got into was with my brother over Pirates of the Caribbean. I was obsessed with. With Pirates of the Caribbean, I cannot tell you. I would watch it in the morning. At night, I would watch it while I slept, so it would deeply embed into my subconscious. I was obsessed like no other with this. And it was in the day, during DVDs. If you don't know what those are.

[Grace O'Malley]

You think I don't know what DVD.

[H]

Objects that play media. And you would insert them into a DVD player. One day I woke up and Pirates of the Caribbean wasn't flying as it usually was. And I knew I only had one prime suspect. My brother. He hated this. He hated that I quoted it, he hated that I watched it. And he would complain constantly. So I asked him and he pled the fifth. But I knew that he was responsible for this. And so I started hiding all of his favorite belongings. I took his PlayStation controllers, I took his favorite books, and I said, you know what? You take my treasure, I take your treasure.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay?

[H]

And still, he never fessed up to it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Ever.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Fast forward.

[H]

I was about 25 years old, we were on a road trip. And he casually says, hey, remember that time I took your Pirates of the Caribbean dvd? It's probably still in grandma's bedside dresser to this day.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Dude. I love when a bit goes on forever and siblings are vindictive. Yeah, it's so awesome. There's nothing like a sibling connection. Like, truly, because it's like the only person you can fight with and then laugh about it later.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Also knowing that that's the one thing that would piss you off and being like, dude, I'm so sick of you talking about Davy Jones locker. Please, please. I'm putting it in grandma's bedside table.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's so good.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's great.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then her. You have to get revenge.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You open a can of what? Bass. You got it? Yeah. Yeah.

[I]

Next up, sister is my best friend in the world. But a couple years ago, before Christmas, her boyfriend was liking girls pictures on Instagram. She told me about it. I was pissed. I talked to my best friend about it.

[Grace O'Malley]

Why?

[I]

And then my best friend texted my sister to be like, hey, girl, you don't deserve this. Well, my sister was pissed that I would say anything to anyone. She was like, you're spreading my business. You're spreading my business. You're telling the world. I was like, girl, I told my best friend, and I don't think you're mad at me. I think you're mad at your boyfriend. But she was mad at me. And so then I was pissed at her for being mad at me because. Don't be a. Don't be a to him. Don't be a bitch to me. I ended up blocking her number because I'm A for that block button. And I'll block your number for the day if you're on my phone stressing me out. I had her number blocked for a week. No, probably like four days, but it felt like a week. And it was right before Christmas. I didn't unblock her number until Christmas Eve at our family function.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Damn.

[I]

So that was petty.

[Maggie O'Malley]

But she has made up on Christmas Eve. That's sweet.

[Grace O'Malley]

I've got a lot to say about that. Holidays are great for making up.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, that is true.

[Grace O'Malley]

That'll happen in a family all the time.

[Maggie O'Malley]

All the time.

[Grace O'Malley]

The whole family's not talking, but yeah. We're gonna do Christmas together though, right? Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And then everyone acts like they haven't been mad at. At each other for months.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then in this good like four months, and then they get back into it. It's classic.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I understand, like, the boyfriend liking girls pictures if they're like, specific. Like if they're, if they're girls that you don't know and you're like, why do you know that person?

[Grace O'Malley]

This is where I'm going to take a. I think it's a feminist take. Everyone should be able to like everybody's pictures. I think, as long as you're not writing.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. Unless you're not.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Like, nice honkers.

[Grace O'Malley]

Like, I, I think, I think liking a picture is very normal and to read into that a little too much is a little crazy. But that's not the, the point of the story. And I, I don't want you to get upset at me.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I think if you're excessively liking girls pictures as guy and they're a bunch of like all. It's specifically only girls pictures and you have a girlfriend. That's kind of crazy.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, Specific. Like only girls. That's crazy.

[Maggie O'Malley]

If that's what the context is, I understand why you'd be making.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, totally. But I'm on homegirl's team because with your boyfriend, you, You're. You're allowed to tell your best friend. You're going to tell me something. I'm going to tell my best friend. That's just kind of how it goes. And so you have to understand that even as a sister.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, that is true.

[Grace O'Malley]

It's just. It is. It is what it is. I get that.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And the blocking thing's awesome. Blocking someone just because they were pissing you off a little bit. Yeah, it's a good move.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That is really smart. I've done that.

[Grace O'Malley]

You've done that?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Not to friends, to sisters. No, never to sisters.

[Grace O'Malley]

Well, everyone blocks people they don't like. Yeah, Blocking a sister because they're pissing them off a little bit. That could. That could, like, ease up on a couple fights.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, I'd put my phone on dinner to serve and then just not answer.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, next one.

[I]

Got another one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, hey, girl.

[I]

I got in a fight with my brother because when I was 17 and on birth control, he wanted to know what it was like to take birth control. And I went, let him take a week's worth of my birth control. He just wanted to see what it would do, you know, what it would do. Get me pregnant.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, you can't have it.

[I]

And we got in an actual physical altercation because I got in the shower and got out of the shower to find him trying to steal that week's worth of birth control.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dude, you know what you should have done? Let him take the placebo pills and then act like, like, all the sugar pills. Should have let him take all the sugar pills, and then he would have been. Ate nothing. But also, your brother would have just, like, got a little perk in his boobies. Yeah, I get the anger part of that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. It's wicked annoying. You can't replace that.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, you can't replace that. And, like, why.

[Nora O'Malley]

Just stop.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're so annoying.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It doesn't do anything. You don't feel any different. It's just literally there.

[Grace O'Malley]

Boys are stupid. All right, sorry, Sunny, next one. So of course my brother and I were younger. There's three years between us. He's younger.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And we were driving in our parents minivan in the back seat and it was pouring out.

[Grace O'Malley]

And when we got home, I started.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yelling at him and crying because he.

[Grace O'Malley]

Had more raindrops on his windows than I did. Pretty embarrassing.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, that's tough. Yeah, that was it.

[Grace O'Malley]

I didn't even have. I thought I had a second to drink my coffee.

[Maggie O'Malley]

She was probably trying to do the. Did you ever race raindrops when you were younger?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. She probably wanted to race all the raindrops at once and she didn't have enough, obviously.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's exactly where my mind went.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Or she wanted to be in a music video, or she was listening to, like, a really good angsty Song and wanted. Like those raindrops on the window. Acting like she was in a music video.

[Grace O'Malley]

I love making assumptions about these people without even knowing anything. This is really fun for me because what I perceived that as is, it was never about the raindrops. Mommy and Daddy had a favorite, and it was big bro. Damn.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You got deep with that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because she was so mad that she wasn't having what he had.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You know, we're getting psychological here.

[Grace O'Malley]

Isn't this what you went to school for? Yeah, but.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No, I'm not.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you're a licensed therapist.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I'm not. I'm. No. I'm a licensed child. What was my major?

[Grace O'Malley]

Nor. What was your major? Dude, I never knew.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Child and Family studies.

[Grace O'Malley]

Child and Family studies.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Child Development. Child Development. Child Development and Family Studies.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, so you should. You. I think the next time we do this, you should come in with, like a. You can. This is where you can use your major.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you could come in with, like, some.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. Some advice.

[Grace O'Malley]

Some advice and stuff. And I'll just. On them.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, that's. I. I did one. I did one where you can just pick your family.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. That was beautiful.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, that's been that segment. Thank you very much.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Appreciate it.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, this next segment is. Who knows which sister better? Okay. Up first, we've got. We're gonna go rapid fire. What is the last TV show you've watched and completed?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Am I answering it for you?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, Love Island.

[Grace O'Malley]

The Osbornes.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right. What age did your sister have her first kiss?

[Maggie O'Malley]

16. Wow. What?

[Grace O'Malley]

That was mean.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Don't.

[Grace O'Malley]

Unless.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Don't answer mine.

[Grace O'Malley]

You were a late bloomer.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay. Fuck you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, I don't know. I thought maybe you had, like, a. Like a little kid one. We don't talk about sex or kissing.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I had a fake little kid one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No, it wasn't on the lips, though. Where was it? Like Shout Out. Romani. We played. We played Sleeping Beauty, and you kissed me on the cheek and gave me a rose.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. And guess who orchestrated that. The older sisters.

[Maggie O'Malley]

The older sisters made him walk to our house, which was, like, halfway around the block with a rose. And then he came and he goes, we're gonna play Sleeping Beauty Now.

[Grace O'Malley]

What is the name of your sister's favorite stuffed animal from childhood? It wasn't an animal. It was Black blankie, which was colorful, made no sense.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I don't know why it was called Black Blankie.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you still have that?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, it's in my closet in my. At the house.

[Grace O'Malley]

You're not the kind of gal that brings it around where it's all mangled.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No, I don't get that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I know people have secured, like, half of my friends still have them. Or like, little animals that they have to rub to go to sleep. A lot of people do, personally. Not me.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm good again.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You didn't have one. Thank you.

[Grace O'Malley]

I thought you were gonna skip me.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right. What would be your sister's last meal? That's hilarious. We didn't write this prep sheet, which is really funny for these questions because we want to be surprised. Yeah, we. But Nora's last meal is very funny, because one time we were all going around the table, and, like, we moved. Nora had said hers, and then we kind of, like, moved on, and she was like. And then also. And then you just kept. But then you just kept adding. It was so. Nora, it was so funny. And you were laughing with us. It was me, you, and mom, and I think Maggie was there. We were going around saying our favorite or what our last meal would be. And you were like, yes, I think that'll be it. And then, like, mom started like, well, also, I think.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, because I'd over. I overthink it so hard because I'm like, dude. No, actually, wait. No. Yeah. I think yours would be, like, a lobster, definitely a pasta, and definitely, like, noodle and your wagyu.

[Grace O'Malley]

You only really get one.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Can you get the.

[Grace O'Malley]

You get noodles, spaghetti. Oh, you got lobster. I bet you're right. Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's the best way to go out, is have whatever you want.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Who was your sister's childhood celebrity crush?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Justin Bieber. You had his shit everywhere.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yours was Harry Styles.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It was Louis Tomlinson. I didn't turn into Harry Styles till a little bit later.

[Grace O'Malley]

Sorry.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Or was Michael Clifford from 5 Seconds of Summer?

[Grace O'Malley]

If your sister could only drink one cocktail for the rest of their life, what? We'll say cocktail or beverage? Adult beverage. What would it be?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Grace's is Bud Light Angry Orchard. No.

[Grace O'Malley]

What?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

What were you gonna say?

[Maggie O'Malley]

I was gonna say, why now?

[Grace O'Malley]

How does your sister order her coffee?

[Maggie O'Malley]

You do shaken espresso. No. You do the brown sugar shaken espresso.

[Grace O'Malley]

My sister doesn't like coffee. She drinks Matcha.

[Maggie O'Malley]

It's all right here.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. What would your sister consider a deal breaker on a first date?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Like, acting, like, pompous?

[Grace O'Malley]

That wasn't the one that came to mind for you. Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What's yours?

[Grace O'Malley]

Talking about himself the whole time.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, that was gonna. That's that goes into pompous, though.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, you can be pompous and still be charismatic.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay, then. Yeah. Talking about yourself the whole time.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yours is. Doesn't say anything.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

What is the drunkest you've ever seen your sister?

[Maggie O'Malley]

After Grace, Grace got really sunburned, and my mom came into town. She came into town to, like, help us out. But Grace was, like, extremely dehydrated. And we went out drinking after recording the podcast Martinis. And we were drinking straight martinis all night. And Grace was trying to go to this place that was closed that night. And we were like, grace, it's closed for a private event. And she was like, no, I made a reservation. We have to go in. And we were like, grace, no, it's closed. She was like, well, we're waiting till they're open. We were like, grace, no. Like, there's nothing like, no. So she wouldn't let us, like, try and find anywhere. So she picked an Uber to some random place, ordered, like, probably everything on the menu, just kept going. And then when. When the.

[Grace O'Malley]

When the food came, I was having your last meal. When the food came.

[Maggie O'Malley]

She started while we were waiting for the food. She was so drunk and was like, I have. I feel so bad for dad. We have to invite him to Hawaii. She grabs her phone to go call dad to invite him to Hawaii. And I'm like, grace, that's like a whole nother person that you have to put. You're not thinking this through. Like, you guys don't get along that well. Like, going on vacation might be trick. Whatever. So I'm yelling at Grace to put her phone down. She's like, shut the up. Screaming, like, top of her lungs, telling me to shut the up. And I'm like, grace, no, you can't. So she throws her phone to the other side. Dude, you were being a menace. She threw her phone to the other side of the bar. And they were like, can you, like, stop being, like, really loud? And then we had to be like, okay, it's time to go.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nora's story is probably one of the first times you got drunk. Correct? It's the funniest.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I think it's wicked funny. Now.

[Grace O'Malley]

My graduation party. Literally, a roof raiser of a party fucking banger. The stories I could tell from that night. The story I will tell you is Nora o' Malley got very, very drunk. And she was pouring drinks from the air down, like, beers like this, like, waterfall style. They were all foam, as if she was like. Like a really fancy bartender on up, throwing it back on a Caribbean cruise. And she was throwing them back. She was going up, asking advice from some of my friends on how she could. How she could get with this cutie pie that was at the party. And she was like. She was like, yeah, he's really cute, huh?

[Maggie O'Malley]

One of Grace's friends from growing up.

[Grace O'Malley]

The way it ended was Nora went upstairs to go change because anything. She might have puked on herself or whatever.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I peed my pants.

[Grace O'Malley]

You peed your pants? All right.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Peed my pants in a romper. And then I remember walking upstairs and then.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then she passed out naked with.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Her leg in the air in my dresser.

[Grace O'Malley]

Stuck on the dresser. And so just, like, wide open, like she's getting wax. What is your sister's first car?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, yours was the Golden Nugget.

[Grace O'Malley]

And here's a picture of it. I smashed it into a tree. And yours was a Mercury Mountaineer.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, that's right, because I went to West Virginia University. Go Mountaineers.

[Grace O'Malley]

Hell, yeah, girl. All right, and the last one. What sport or activity did your sister quit the fastest?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Grace failed off the lacrosse team and had to run around the high school and act sweaty.

[Grace O'Malley]

They know.

[Maggie O'Malley]

But was it basketball or lacrosse or softball? Softball. Softball. Yeah. Yeah, I think. Same.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think it was too much for me. I wasn't ready to be out yet. So for this next segment, it's our. Gonna be our last one. We're gonna wrap it up. We are pulling out disgraceful receipts on each other.

[Maggie O'Malley]

All right, so this is Grace wearing a shirt that says Star Gang with a rapper from the local. He was from Boston and he was a rapper.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah. I don't know why you think you got me with this one. This is the man, the myth, the legend, Mophie. Mophie was the coolest rapper. He did little meetups in suburban towns, and all these little white kids showed up and were part of the Star Gang affiliated Star Gang. And my mom threw out my T shirt because she thought I really joined a gang. And I don't think she understood that. Like, nobody would have me in a gang. But anyways, I fucking loved Mophie. But he fell off the face of the earth because I guess, well, I might have him on one day. I got. I got in touch with him. I'll let him tell you a story maybe one of these days. All right, up next.

[Maggie O'Malley]

So this is me with a hot dog in the Frankfurt airport because I was going to Italy. So kind of sick. Yeah. Thought I'd flex on you.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, thank you. Yeah, that was Actually, the first night I ever smoked weed. Oh, shit. Yeah, I dressed up really nice. I thought we were going to a high school party. We were freshmen and I thought we were going to a party, but we were actually going to basement.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Shut up.

[Grace O'Malley]

No, we're gonna bleep his name. And. Yeah, we did a photo shoot before we went. Yeah, that was the skinniest I've literally ever been.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Cool.

[Grace O'Malley]

Up next.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Off. Off. Okay, so this was me, ashton Irwin, from 5 Seconds of Summer, the drummer of the band. Right. I was Five Seconds of Summer.

[Grace O'Malley]

So bad.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. I understand why people thought I was a lesbian, like, all these years. Yeah, that was tough.

[Grace O'Malley]

Why would you be a lesbian?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Look at how I'm dressed.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do lesbians wear that? No, they have style.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, so that sounded mean. I didn't mean it in a mean. Oh, screw me.

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, let's go, let's go. Let's go a little faster.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay, this one's good.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yeah. So that's. That's at the Fours in Norwell, Massachusetts. In the bathroom, I was with another family and their parents after a obvious soccer game where we won and we celebrated and I got to take selfies in the bathroom with my ipod Touch.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You Definitely a Crackle nail polish.

[Grace O'Malley]

Crackle nail polish, for sure. Okay, so what I wanted to mention. So I'm going to show you a series of pictures, and you need to tell me what they have in common.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because it. It's also, like, something else.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. So we have this picture.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

This picture. That one? Yeah. So those three.

[Maggie O'Malley]

My fishtail.

[Grace O'Malley]

No. So what I thought was it kind of looked like that meme where the girl is smiling while the house is on fire.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, God. I'm next to the beach. Like, having a lovely day on the beach. You kind of look like you're being.

[Grace O'Malley]

Held hostage in this one.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Maggie's probably pissing me off. What the hell?

[Grace O'Malley]

All right, next up, this one. Not licensed. That is taken from Snapchat. I'm crying my eyes out. This is from my finsta, which has since been removed.

[Maggie O'Malley]

So you posted it on your Twitter.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay, gotcha. Wow.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, that's me crying because I didn't get my license.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And she spelled licensed wrong.

[Grace O'Malley]

I still don't know how to spell it.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I don't think I do either.

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, so. And. And it's crazy because then I got my license, and then I got to take it away, and then I got it back, and then now I just don't have one because it expired. Moving right along. Oh, you're really good with the Halloween costumes, so.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's Sally from A Nightmare Before Christmas. If Sally ate Sally.

[Grace O'Malley]

Jesus, Nora, don't be.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Dude, look at me. I'm bulging out the costume.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm more in on the fact that you're playing the character very well.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah, because it's Halloween. I have to do it up.

[Grace O'Malley]

Maggie looks so cute.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I'm wearing a rag doll. I'm wearing a Raggedy Ann wig. I don't even think she has that hair. And that's an adult costume, I think. And I'm probably 10 and busting out. Anyways.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh, yes. This is when I got conjunctivitis for New Year's Eve. So I was staying with this family, one of my friends from growing up. And, you know when you're on vacation with people that aren't your family, and sometimes the way they are kind of are different than the way your family would be. And long story short, the family was fighting the whole time. And one of the sisters was like, I'm leaving tomorrow. And I was like, may I please come with you? And I had conjunctivitis, and I went home, and it was New Year's Eve, and as soon as I got home, I went out with conjunctivitis. But don't you worry. I wore an eye patch at the New Year's Eve party.

[Maggie O'Malley]

You did? Yeah. Didn't know that. All right, next one. This is just a screen. Oh, you can describe. Oh, it's your turn. I'm so sorry. Oh, yes. This is me with the Drop Kick Murphy Shout Out. Shipping up to Boston. I'm wearing a UMass nursing. Me and Grace, I think, jumped out of the. No, we were going to get coffee, and we saw the lead singer of the Drop Kick Murphy's and sprinted up to them and asked them for a picture. They're all holding up fists. I think one of them is a fighter. Or both of them are fighters.

[Grace O'Malley]

You know what's funny about that UMass nursing sweatshirt? We had that in our house. We all wore it all the time for, like, 10, 15 years. I have no idea. No one who ever went to UMass.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No one was a UMass nurse. Crazy. Yeah. This one.

[Grace O'Malley]

2010 comeback. Still true. Stand on that. On God forever.

[Maggie O'Malley]

The caption says, absolute comma, favorite year, heart. And then teardrop emoji.

[Grace O'Malley]

Literally. What did I just say? I've never changed. All right, this one. It's the only family picture we have that's recent, but I'm wearing a chef's hat.

[Maggie O'Malley]

We Walked around the neighborhood for Thanksgiving because my mom really wanted to do a family walk that we've never done. And I was wearing a chef's hat the entire walk around. I got this one, and if you can't read the caption, it says, sold almost $80 worth of bracelets for charity. Smiley face, emoji, money bag, and then a thumbs up. And then explain that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Yeah. So these are freshly manicured square nails. I was really big on acrylics at the time, especially hot pink ones. And I don't know about any of this. I don't remember ever selling those. I'm sure it went to charity, but I. But I don't know about that.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Who's the other hand?

[Grace O'Malley]

Bridget.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, and you guys are just showing off your nails like that?

[Grace O'Malley]

We were showing off our bands that we were selling for charity, dude.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, but you guys had to show that you got your nails done too?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yeah, bruh. It was a two for one. You do charity, you get your nails done. So also, on top of that, this is also the most current picture of my whole family together. And again, someone's wearing a hat.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Our dad's wearing a cowboy hat.

[Grace O'Malley]

Thank God. I just thought that was so funny.

[Maggie O'Malley]

So funny and so random pictures.

[Grace O'Malley]

We have, you're wearing a chef hat and Dad's wearing a cowboy hat.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. What's going on? That's weird. All right, this next one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Oh. So this is a picture of an Elle magazine, and it says, I haven't started dating, but there are a lot of couples in my grade. It's a big deal to have a boyfriend. And I decided it was really important for one of my very first Instagram pictures to post that just to let the fellas know that I'm looking.

[Maggie O'Malley]

And the captions just like the quote, elle Fanning, blue Heart.

[Grace O'Malley]

Because she was literally speaking to my heart. Yeah, she was speaking to my heart.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Good.

[Grace O'Malley]

This one's my favorite because there is a backstory to this, and I don't know if you remember. And it's on Shutterfly, so I had to screenshot it. Oh.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Because we were on our way to New York, and you said, put your middle finger up. And I was like, no, I'm too scared to, I think, because, oh, our grandma was sitting, like, right next to us, and I was like, no, I'm not putting up my middle finger. Was I crying?

[Grace O'Malley]

They went into the store real quick.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And you were scared that they were gonna come back and see you with your middle finger up. So we had to take it really Quick.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I was so scared. I remember being so scared to put my middle finger up and I put my thumb up so it wasn't an actual middle finger.

[Grace O'Malley]

I remember. You really making that statement.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

After we took the photograph, I think.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I said it out loud so mom could hear it if she saw it.

[Nora O'Malley]

Hello, I'm Dax Shepard.

[Sunny]

And I'm Monica Padman.

[Nora O'Malley]

And we love talking to people. Every Monday and Wednesday, we sit down with actors, authors, scientists, really, anyone interesting, and have real, honest conversations about life, success, failure, and everything in between. We get vulnerable, we get nerdy. And yes, I occasionally overshare.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Me too.

[Grace O'Malley]

And I would say more than occasionally. Yeah.

[Nora O'Malley]

But some of our favorite stories actually come from you, our listeners. That's why we created Armchair Anonymous.

[Sunny]

Yes, every Friday on Armchair Anonymous, we.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Get to hear your funniest, weirdest, most jaw dropping confessions. And boy, have you delivered.

[Nora O'Malley]

Yeah. From disastrous dates to family secrets to the time you accidentally joined a cult or evacuated without authorization, we really have heard it all. Yes, we have. And we love it. So come pull up a chair. Listen to Armchair Expert wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sunny]

Ever since switching to T Mobile, something weird has been happening. I get to cut lines.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, right this way.

[Sunny]

Who, me? I can stream shows at 30,000ft and I was able to buy reserve tickets for my favorite band.

[Nora O'Malley]

It's not just you. With T Mobile, everyone can get VIP status. That means access to exclusive events and experiences just for being a customer. At T Mobile. VIP means y ou check out the VIP treatment@t mobile.com benefits.

[Maggie O'Malley]

This one's good.

[Grace O'Malley]

Blogging, social networking, and getting inspiration all day long. Heart. Hashtag needed this day. Literally me. I haven't changed. Not one second. And then the caption is hashtag no life.

[Maggie O'Malley]

What were you doing that day that.

[Grace O'Malley]

Made you tweet that scrolling Tumblr.

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's awesome. That's great.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm trying to say I'm on Tumblr, but, like, in a really, like, poetic, like, nuance, like, I'm working on something kind of way.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

This next one is my favorite.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Okay.

[Grace O'Malley]

Do you think you can pinpoint what this is?

[Maggie O'Malley]

Was this at the Rockettes?

[Grace O'Malley]

Nope.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Was this at the Haunted Mansion?

[Grace O'Malley]

Yes.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Oh, fuck. We went to Barrett's Haunted Mansion in Abington.

[Grace O'Malley]

I think we already told the story. Yeah. So that's a picture if you want to prove.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah. And then I got this one.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. So this is at my homecoming. Not a single soul wanted to have fun with me or really talk to me at all. I think this is before I Actually got kicked out of homecoming and got suspended for being drunk. And they couldn't prove it, but because I denied a Breathalyzer, they sent me home, and I had one of my friends pick me up, dress as my dad, and I walked into my family's living room. They were all having dinner. I sat down, they go, what are you doing here? I'm like, I don't know.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Just.

[Grace O'Malley]

It was kind of boring. And then a cop car pulled up doing a wellness check. So. Yeah. And that was just. That was just a photographic proof that I was having a blast.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yeah.

[Grace O'Malley]

And then.

[Maggie O'Malley]

Yes. Oh, God. I don't know how. I don't. So this was probably my first ever panic attack that I had. And I literally couldn't calm my body down. And I think Grace was. I think me and Grace were having a tiff that day. And my mom really had to take a picture to commemorate the moment that we went to the Red Sox. I mean, the fucking Rockettes. Rockettes. So if you look hard in the picture, my eyes are bloodshot red. My whole face is red, and I'm sobbing my eyes out, and everyone else is smiling.

[Grace O'Malley]

What's your last one?

[Maggie O'Malley]

That's fun. I remember that.

[Grace O'Malley]

I'm sorry. I didn't know it was your first ever panic attack. Now I feel like.

[Maggie O'Malley]

No, it's chill.

[Grace O'Malley]

Okay. Yes. So remember I said I was flipping patties at Castle Island? This is Castle Island. This is the playground. They have, after you have a nice cheeseburger made by me and. Yeah, my mom said we were going there that day. So I got dressed up in a skirt to walk around a castle. I mean, I'm literally an adult woman When I'm 12 years old, which is crazy. I literally haven't changed since then. So that looks like an adult woman. Maybe, like, Hasidic Jew. Oh. But I don't know. Too much skin showing, Very dressed up. Enjoying the park for children.

[Maggie O'Malley]

I think your feet are on the ground because you're too tall for it, too.

[Grace O'Malley]

Nice additive. That's a good catch. Yeah.

[Maggie O'Malley]

So that's the pictures I have from my sister.

[Grace O'Malley]

That's what I have from my sister. And if you have a sister, hold her tight, pull her in, and make up for what you've started, because you know you started it. I'm talking to myself. Thank you guys so much for watching. Nora, thanks for coming on. Maggie, thanks for coming on. And, Sunny, I'll see you next week. Thank you. They say if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go together. At Amica Insurance, we know what matters most to you, and we work even harder to protect it. Together, as a mutual insurance company, we're built for our customers and prioritize your needs. Amica empathy is our best policy. Call 877-41-America and get a quote today. Are you ready to get spicy? These Doritos Golden Sriracha aren't that spicy. Sriracha sounds pretty spicy to me. Um, a little spicy, but also tangy and sweet. Maybe it's time to turn up the heat. Or turn it down. It's time for something that's not too spicy. Try Doritos Golden Sriracha. Spicy but not too spicy. Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of Angie. One thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. And for decades, Angie's helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter. Get all your jobs done [e-mail].