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Wade
This episode is brought to you by Vitamin Water. Living in a big city like Cincinnati has challenges.
Mark
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Wade
So whatever the reason, grab a Vitamin water today.
Mark
Copyright 2025 Glassau. Vitamin water is a registered trademark of Glasso.
Bob
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Mark
For 35 years, 11 months, 28 days and 6 hours, I didn't believe in deodorant, but then Degree came along.
Bob
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Wade
Max Cooper loves that chew too.
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Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow, he is loving it. What do you feed Cooper?
Wade
Blue Buffalo Life Protection Formula.
Bob
He never leaves a crumb.
Mark
I love it because it's made with.
Wade
High quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and veggies, and wholesome whole grains.
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Bob
Distractable is presented by Vitamin Water. Some drinks are fun, some drinks are functional. But Vitamin Water said, why not both?
Wade
The Elevate Blue Raspberry actually very good. As I'm getting older, I found that I'm a raspberry guy.
Mark
They also have zero sugar rehydrate Pineapple Passion fruit.
Bob
As I'm getting older, I'm finding I'm really a pineapple guy. I'm like Wade, but with apples. Grab a Vitamin water today. Copyright 2025 Glass O. Vitamin Water is a registered trademark of Glass O. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Bickering Bob, beloved of elongated animals, has his pals playtime diluted. True or false Wheeling Wade has an aneurysm over assholes and doesn't know his monsters, rights, ticks or Corsicans. Maidenly Mark is incensed by Apple's inefficiency, Sings Beetlejuice begets his ships, geometry and corvide. From podcast affection to brilliant braining. Yes, it's time for 20 Simple Questions. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome back to every giraffe's favorite podcast. That's right. You're listening to Distractable. I talked to him, you know, at the zoo, you can go and you could pay five bucks. You could feed the giraffe. I did that, and I was like, hey, what's your favorite podcast? All five of them answered distract, which means that basically every giraffe in the world probably listens, which I feel like is a pretty cool thing. We should get a plaque or something. Interesting fun fact aside, I'm your host. My name is Bob. I'm joined by, as always, by my competitors for the day, slash hosts when they can manage it. Mark and Wade. Say hi, fellas.
Wade
Hi, fellas.
Mark
You know, for a second there, I thought you were starting, like, an ad read old style. I went to the zoo and talked to a giraffe. Buy a mattress, I really thought.
Bob
And then Mark released his trebuchet full of fast food orders.
Wade
Yeah, I expected the vine reference where they're like snow. They're like, skiing or snowboarding, whatever. And the guy just, like, flies.
Bob
I'm a giraffe.
Mark
I'm a g. For everyone listening. We do want to get back to those, and we've said it many times.
Bob
But weird that that came up, but, you know, how often do you get to talk to giraffes if you've never seen the show before? I'm the host because I won the last one. The two guys are trying to win this one. That means they'll host the next one because I'm the host. I have a game, but that comes later because traditionally we start by catching up with small talk. So. Yeah. How's it going, fellas? How you doing?
Wade
I've got some good things and I've got some annoyances. I've got some grievances to share, and some of you out there are the problem.
Bob
All right, sounds like I'm not going to get to my game idea again. I'm excited. Let's do another. Let's do another whole episode where all we do is complain. Let's do it.
Wade
I spent the past week in Florida, and yesterday I was at the airport for, like, 11 hours because we had a weather flight delay. Whatever. It was fine. Expected some really annoying Florida drivers, and honestly didn't really get many of it. They were pretty okay. There's a lot of traffic, but, like, there wasn't a lot of, like, guy on his lawnmower upside down with a chainsaw causing traffic jams. Like, I expected. We got back to Cincinnati late last night, got on the highway, and immediately, immediately I had that guy that wants to merge on the highway 30 miles under the speed limit. There's not that much traffic. But like, also, this is still hard to do because you're going so slow. Like, did people not learn how to merge? Okay, we get on the highway, we're driving a little bit further. I get over in the middle lane, using my turn signal to go around. Slow person, slow person decides with no turn signal, you know where I should be, the middle lane. And just cuts me off. Again, not speeding up. They just decided that's the lane they belonged in now. So I feel something in my neck, probably an important artery, explode, and I get over with my turn signal to go around again, leave that person behind. Goodbye. We get a bit further up and there's road construction or something going on. So the actual highway is like shut down. So we have to get off and go around to get a different route, get behind another person on a one lane road. Speed limit 35. I should do 15. Clear, brightly lit area, no turn signal, speed limit, all over the place. Like if someone just goes the speed limit, I'm fine. You know, they don't have to go five over, you don't have to go 10 over, you don't whatever. Just 35. Perfect conditions. Just hit the 35. You're turning, you're merging, you're moving. Turn signals, they're great. They work, they indicate, they do their job. But the entire trip home last night, it was slow person cutting me off. No turn signal on repeat. It wasn't even the people going 900 miles an hour or whatever. There was a motorcycle and someone else racing each other and just cutting each each other off repeatedly. But, you know, they were in the far left lane, each other in the. Not in my way, but the slow, the slow, no turn signal. Oh, man, it eats a part of my soul every time.
Mark
Wade hasn't driven in five years and he forgot how traffic was. First time in the road in ages.
Bob
Oh, man.
Mark
People go slow sometimes.
Wade
I've driven a lot. I wasn't even in my car last night.
Bob
Oh, you weren't in your car? Interesting. I would think if you were driving, you'd be driving, say, your own car.
Wade
Not whenever you have to have luggage.
Bob
That's a bit. Look, I know it's a sports car, but it's a big car. There's definitely room for luggage.
Wade
We got big luggage.
Mark
Oh, sorry.
Bob
Oh, okay.
Mark
Never on the subreddit. Respect is Big luggage.
Wade
Florida, beautiful, great time, great drivers. Shocked me to hell, got back here and immediately was like, I can't believe I prefer Florida drivers to my own people.
Bob
I don't know if I would claim anyone as your own people who's driving.
Wade
On a road, but I don't anymore.
Bob
Got it.
Wade
Just use a turn signal you got.
Bob
The old man yells at cloud point. Good job, Wade.
Wade
I was tired, man. I got to the airport yesterday at 11am we didn't land till like midnight last night because it was a long day.
Mark
And then how are there that many people on the highway at like 1 to 3?
Wade
There weren't. That's the saddest part. It was just a few people.
Bob
You should have gone around.
Wade
I tried and they were like, that guy's trying to go around. I better help him. Now we can go around all over again.
Bob
Sounds like it. Sounds like a you problem. I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, but just.
Wade
Stupidity hurts me and the road is full. Nobody knows how to drive anymore, man. Or they never did. I don't know.
Bob
You already got. The old man yells a cloud. You can ease up. It's all right.
Wade
Gold people these days, these kids.
Bob
Back in my day, I had to drive uphill everywhere. All right, Mark, what are you mad about?
Mark
I have something hilarious. It's. It's involves a company that is not technically in the wrong, I suppose, but I think they are. And also the pettiest. The pettiest thing I've ever seen and a pure example of why this company might be plagued with inefficiencies. He's going for the eating point, I can tell. So I bought Mac Studios for my render farm because the power efficiency and man, my power bill is way down since doing that. I mean they were expensive to get, but their resale value will be good if I ever need to upgrade or if I've ever done with the render farm. That's why I did it. And so I bought some and when you do it business you have to get an invoice and you have to pay them separately. And there was like this whole. It's a whole different. Usually if you go and buy Apple stuff, it's kind of easy. They make it a little too easy sometimes. Business, not so much. So I get this email and I must not have noticed the first one because it says second notification of past due balance. Dear markiplier, I can't believe this happened to us. The email reads, we would like to thank you again for your business with Apple. As of today, we have still not received payment. Please see the attached outstanding invoice list and remit payment as soon as possible. Please note, non payment could lead to a reduction of your credit line and may result in shipping delays.
Bob
Don't you already have all those things?
Mark
Yeah, I do.
Bob
All right, so probably not shipping delays, but, yeah, go on. Sorry.
Mark
You want to know how much it's for?
Wade
It's an Apple product, so it's a minimum of 130.
Bob
Yeah. $3,000 or something.
Mark
So the total invoice amount is high. It's $7844.40.
Wade
So you got three chargers, you bought.
Bob
An iPhone and a half. What?
Mark
So $7,844.40. That's the total invoice. They say I paid $7,844.39. This is a second notice, past due email. For one cent.
Bob
You said those numbers in my head, I was like, wait, aren't those the same number? How much is different?
Wade
This is a one, A one penny past due invoice. Mark, this may reduce your credit line and incur penalties. The legal team might get involved.
Bob
I kind of want not pay it just to see what happens. Like, the next one, they're like, all right, we're not playing nice anymore. We're gonna start charging interest. 15% interest.
Wade
You know, if you go to pay it, there's gonna be a charge for paying online or something of like a dollar.
Mark
So it's. It's so funny because, like, I. I got. I had. There was another invoice besides this. One of the orders was delayed. This is the delayed one. I paid the exact same amount for the both invoices. This one, I've looked, and they're. This one, for some reason, is one penny more than the other ones. When I paid, I paid it all in full, in total. This one is different. So I'm not paying this one because I have paid in full, and I did pay in full when I did it because it was the exact amount that they charged on the invoice. But because this one was delayed, some rounding thing must have happened, and it went up a penny. So I'm not paying this one, and I just want to see how far it goes.
Wade
It's supply and demand. Someone had just bought the exact same thing, so they had to upcharge this one by one penny.
Mark
Man, the tariffs, you know, just really, really threw that one for a loop.
Bob
Well, I knew it had to be either really big or really small, but I would not have guessed. Shouldn't they shouldn't just like, I know this isn't how this works because accounting is numbers and numbers have to equal numbers like this. But shouldn't there be a thing in the system where it's like, hey, if the invoice is, I don't know, less than a dollar, maybe just. Maybe just round that down or something like, is that really worth the electricity that it costs our system to send an email at?
Mark
Like, not at all. The electricity it took to send that email and calculate the number is not worth that penny. This entire saga is not worth. And I really hope they take it.
Wade
There is no way to pay it without coming out in the negative.
Bob
I like your approach because you're eating into their profits now. Every time you make them do something, that's another 0.45 cents that they have to pay or I'm just going to let it sit there and then eventually they're going to come and repo one penny's worth of Apple hardware. So like Magic Mouse or something. I don't know.
Mark
The funny thing is I don't think I can even give them just a penny because a credit card transaction has a minimum fee. It's like a 30 cent minimum plus a percentage. If this via wire transfer. Wire transfers cost about $20. I can't give them a penny.
Wade
No. If you mail a penny, you have to pay for the stamp.
Bob
Don't they pay the. If you pay with a credit card, don't they pay the transaction fee? So couldn't you pay them a penny and then they pay 30 cents to receive your penny?
Mark
I'm trying to save them money here. I'm trying to make this easy on them.
Wade
If they make an exception for you, they have to make an exception for everyone who underpays a penny. This is about.
Mark
This is so funny. I find this hilarious. And I can't wait to see if this goes any farther. I will actually be really disappointed if it doesn't go any farther than this because it's just that funny.
Bob
That's really. I mean, I've. I've not had it be a penny. I've been in situations like that. I think it was. For me, it was a thing where it was like insurance or something where, you know, insurance is a scam industry, even though it's like required. And it was like we moved, so I canceled insurance on our old rental because we got new insurance. But. And they like billed us for some of it. But then they refunded. But then they prorated it like that kind of bullshit. Right? And they invoiced me and they were like, hey, you owe us six dollars. But when I called them on the phone and asked them if they really wanted their $6, the guy on the phone was like, I'll just, I'll just make this go away and I'll make a note to my manager, don't worry about this, sir. But like, Apple's definitely not going to do that. That was a small, like it was still a big company, but that was a smaller company. And I talked to a human person. I doubt. I'm sure you've tried. Have you ever gotten a human being person on the phone if you've ever tried to call Apple? Do they do that or.
Mark
I have. So I talked about this before, if you remember. I didn't get one human. I got bounced to seven humans, which is great.
Bob
Oh, that's right, right.
Mark
But it really speaks to some inefficiencies happening at Apple. Now I'm not one for big companies doing lots of layoffs, but I could tell you between having no humans and only robo, which is bad, and seven people who worked at separate companies. There was multiple companies involved with this chain of people. They sent me to the bank and then back to a separate department. Anyway, that's too many people. I need one good person. So maybe some inefficiencies going on.
Wade
I imagine if you try to get this penny taken care of, it'll be like the scene in Saving Private Ryan where like they walk in, they're looking at the papers like, oh, and they take it to their superior who takes it to their superior eventually. The president of Apple is like one penny. We've spent that on these pages already. Get him on the line. We must fix this.
Mark
Wait, I want to know. Do you know who the president of Apple is?
Wade
Tim Apple.
Mark
That's actually wrong. He's not the president.
Bob
Elon Musk.
Mark
There you go, there you go. The real president of Apple.
Wade
President of every company.
Bob
Are you going to tell us or are we just going to keep guessing? Because I actually don't know.
Mark
No, I don't know. The president of Apple. I was just pointing out that he said president instead of CEO.
Bob
Fair enough. It must be the week of weird transactions, because I also had a weird transaction this week. Have you guys ever bought something? I was, I was buying a computer piece of technology and it was kind of an expensive single purchase that I've never bought from this company before. And they had a third party fraud detection service. Have you ever bought something where a company had like A third party company that did their anti fraud stuff?
Mark
Yeah, I think so. They outsource it sometimes, yeah.
Bob
Has it felt like a scam to you? Because I literally. I gave these people my credit card number, I put my order in, and then an unrelated company sent me an email and it was like, hey, it looks like you're trying to buy this computer. We think that might be fraudulent. Send us a picture of your credit card or a picture of your valid government id. And I was like, why would I send either of those to you company I've never spoken to before? And they were like, no, no, you can. Most of the data just scribble, you know, cover the sum of the parts. We just want to see, you know, like your credit card number and your name and address and make sure the picture's there just so we can have that. I think it's a totally legit company, but I refuse to do it. But when I called the company, I was trying to actually give money to the guy on the phone. I said three words. I was like. He said, hello. And I was like, I got a fraud email or something. And he was immediately like, okay, yeah, we're trying to get rid of those guys.
Wade
We didn't hire them either. We don't know where they came from.
Bob
Yeah, I don't understand what happened, but it was a weird week.
Wade
Supervisor's got apparently a rich uncle somewhere in the Middle east who's like, hey, if you assign us on as your fraud company, you'll get your $6 billion inheritance.
Mark
You ever seen that sketch of the. I forget what show it is, but the guys just walk into a company and they start taking the desks and they're just like, no, no, we got authorization from. From Bill, Bill. Higher up. Bill, Bill.
Bob
You got.
Mark
It's like, yeah, you're going upgrades and you know, and they just take everybody. They get everyone in the office to help them carry out the furniture. That's what this situation is.
Bob
It's probably fine. So anyway, I sent him a picture of my Social Security card and I was like, does this work? They seem pretty happy about it.
Mark
This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? That's what Uber is all about.
Bob
Like when Wade's house was flooding and falling to pieces all around him and you showed up just when he needed you to so you could film it and exploit it for views on the Internet.
Wade
No.
Mark
Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way. So you can be on yours Uber on our way to your house. Wade.
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Bob
This episode is brought to you by Hershey's when it comes to a sweet treat, I love a combo like those two flavors that just go together perfectly like a little party in your mouth. I think most people are with me on this, right? If you want the ultimate combo, I think you should give Hershey's Cookies and Cream a try. If you haven't had it, where have you been? Rich, smooth white cream packed with crunchy, chocolatey cookie bits in every bite. It's a delicious balance of flavor and texture. Hershey's Cookies and Cream. Creamy, crunchy and all yours. Find Hershey's cookies and cream bars at a store near you today. Good small talk. Who wants to play a game?
Mark
I do.
Bob
This is not. This is not a exact redo, but we kind of played this before and I feel like you guys really had a great time with it, so I wanted to bring it back.
Wade
Nah, I'd win part six.
Bob
You wish it would be part five.
Wade
Fuck.
Bob
I like to call this game 20 Simple Questions.
Mark
Oh God.
Wade
No, no.
Bob
Listen, listen.
Wade
No, no, no, no, no.
Bob
It's fine, it's fine. I reworked it.
Wade
Where did bag go? Where'd a bag go? That's not even the right answer.
Bob
But I like the enthusiasm.
Wade
Unobtanium. Unobtainium.
Bob
I changed it so that it's just true or false questions. Uh huh. It literally is just true or false questions. They're still about like sciencey stuff, history, geography, whatever.
Mark
Wade, did you take a cyanide capsule just now?
Wade
You'll find out as the episode goes on.
Bob
It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine. Don't worry. Don't worry. To start by flipping a coin to see who gets to go first. Heads is weighed because bald and it is the lion, which is tails. So Mark goes first.
Wade
Good luck.
Bob
Which apparently gives you a little bit of a statistical advantage. Someone on the subreddit did a little analysis and you have a very slight edge if you get to go first in games of this nature. But nerd, you just. It's just true and false. So even if you don't know, I feel like you could probably figure it out the next time around.
Wade
All of the above.
Bob
It's not an option, but I. I appreciate the creativity. Question number one. True or false. A triangle can have two right angles. False. Correct. See? Look at this. Easy. These are easy.
Wade
Wait.
Mark
Don't worry. They're easy.
Wade
Yeah, I can't wait to hear about mine.
Bob
That's one question. Done. Wade. True or false? There are five Great Lakes.
Wade
True.
Bob
That's correct.
Wade
I had to spell it out in my head.
Bob
You had to spell what? What?
Wade
The first letter spells it like Holmes or whatever.
Bob
Oh, Mark. True or false? Humans have more than five senses.
Mark
True.
Bob
Very good.
Mark
It's like the last one that people don't know about is like no ception or something like that. It's like knowing where you're.
Bob
There are actually a couple extra ones. Your sense of like balance is kind of one. That's not what it's called. And proprioception or something is the one you're talking about where you like know where your body parts are in space. Humans do have more than five senses, Wade. True or false? Mozart and Beethoven were alive at the same time.
Wade
I'd like to use a lifeline. 50. 50.
Bob
Okay. True or false?
Wade
All right.
Bob
True. I knew you'd know that. See, you guys were all worried. I told you I toned it down. This is going to be fine.
Mark
You're just stressing me out more.
Wade
Yeah, I know. Solve the following alchemical equation.
Mark
Usually, you know when. When, like, you're trying to slaughter an animal, usually you go up to him, like, it's fine. It's okay. Don't worry. Don't try.
Wade
Wait, is this our oats?
Bob
Dear Penthouse Forum, Mark, true or false? Beethoven composed music after going deaf. True.
Mark
Wait, he was Beethoven, the deaf one?
Bob
True. True. That's correct. Oh, God. I don't like this.
Wade
I thought it was a trick question in some way. I was like, maybe he was always deaf. I don'.
Bob
Wait. True or false? Thomas Edison invented the light bulb.
Wade
True.
Bob
Incorrect. I'm so sorry about that.
Mark
Come on, man.
Bob
He. He improved the light bulb, but he, in fact, did not invent it.
Wade
I thought that was the case, but I don't know. I didn't know. Who else would. I was like, oh, yeah, right. Mr. Lightbulb did it.
Bob
Mark, true or false. Bananas grow on trees.
Mark
Daylight come and go.
Bob
True. I'm sorry, that one is false.
Wade
What do they grow on?
Bob
Technically, and I love this fact, bananas grow on tall herbs. I don't know what the distinction is there, but that's what the Internet told me.
Wade
Isn't the plant called a banana tree?
Bob
No, it's called the banana herb. Bananas are the spice of life. Everyone knows this. Wait, true or false? The Wright Brothers first flight was in 1903.
Wade
False.
Bob
That one was kind of a gimme. That is correct. That's true. That's incorrect on your part. Arc. True or false. Mount Everest is located in the Himalayas.
Wade
Yeah. Yeah. It's not an option. Sorry.
Bob
You. True.
Wade
Yeah. True.
Bob
That's correct. That's correct. I'm not being cagey.
Wade
It's fine.
Bob
You guys are doing so good. This is already question 10. You guys are getting so many more. Correct on the first go around this time. Wade, true or false? Moby Dick was published before Frankenstein.
Wade
I've never read Moby Dick, but I have read Frankenstein. Mary Shelley know when Moby Dick came out? I'm gonna say true, but I don't know.
Bob
Ooh, Sorry, that's incorrect.
Wade
Moby Dick's newer than that, okay?
Bob
Has the word dick in the title. It's practically a modern book. It's got swears, Mark, Twuerfals. The Titanic sank on its maiden voyage. I believe in you.
Mark
I'm trying to remember, in the Titanic movie, did they smash a bottle of champagne against it before they went?
Wade
They had one in bar during the sex.
Mark
Pop the cork right against the windshield.
Bob
True. Yeah. Good one.
Wade
April 14, 1912.
Mark
I used to be such a confident person.
Bob
What? You guys are doing really good.
Wade
Well, I mean, I've failed, like, three, but that's cool.
Bob
I mean, Mark is doing really good. Wait. True or false? William Shakespeare wrote the Odyssey.
Wade
False.
Bob
Good one. See, there's. Back in the game. Back in the game, Mark. True or false? The Mona Lisa is painted on canvas.
Mark
Canvas can. What is canvas? What even is canvas?
Bob
It's the thing that the Mona Lisa is painted on.
Mark
Well, given that, I don't know what else you would paint on. Maybe, like, pigskin or something.
Wade
I don't know.
Mark
I'm gonna say true.
Bob
Ooh, that one. I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Wait. True or false? Sound travels faster in water than in air.
Wade
False.
Bob
Oh, I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Mark. True or false? An isosceles triangle always has two equal sides. True. That's correct.
Wade
Can I get a triangle question?
Bob
Damn.
Wade
I like the triangles.
Mark
There's a statistical advantage. It's the only reason I got a statistical advantage.
Bob
Don't worry, you'll know this one, Wade. True or false? Brazil is north of the equator.
Wade
False.
Bob
I was wrong. I'm sorry, that's incorrect.
Wade
Wait. I was wrong.
Mark
Wait, what?
Bob
You said false, right?
Wade
You said Brazil's north of the equator. I said false.
Bob
Oh, maybe I copied him as wrong. Hang on. Let me look. Let me look this up. Let me look this up.
Mark
Every true false has shifted one. Oh, God.
Wade
@ least part of it should be south of the equator, right? In the equator.
Bob
Oh, yeah. Interesting. Most of it is definitely south of the equator.
Wade
Yeah.
Bob
Not. Not all of it. And perhaps this is a trick question that I got suckered into.
Wade
Sure felt like it. Because I was like, I'm pretty sure it goes through Brazil, but most of it is south.
Bob
Because the question was, Brazil is north of the equator, and the answer is probably some of Brazil is north of the equator.
Wade
I mean, yeah, I guess it's true and false.
Bob
I'm going to give that to you. That's what I get for trusting things I get from the Internet. Mark. True or false? A group of cows is called a murder. A group of cows is called A murder.
Mark
C, O, W, S. Cows.
Bob
Yes. OO and so on.
Mark
God, I hope it's not called a murder.
Bob
False. You're right, that is false.
Wade
Called an utter bang.
Bob
Wait, that says true. Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on. No, I think. I think. I think I screwed up my document. Hang on, hang on.
Mark
Did you mistype it from cows to something else?
Bob
Oh, I can't read because I know.
Wade
A group of crows is going.
Bob
If it says crows, I just read.
Wade
That's why I'm so confused.
Bob
No, no, you're right.
Wade
I thought you were intentionally saying cows in a way to make Mark not know which word you were saying.
Bob
Yes, I got you. Take that. I'm not so stupid that I don't know how to read my own typed words. That. Okay, great. Wait. True or false? Napoleon was exiled twice.
Wade
In general or from, like, one place?
Bob
False. Man, you're having a bad run. Having a bad run. Mark. True or false? 0 is an even number.
Mark
I'm trying to think of what even the definition of an even number is really.1.
Wade
That's not odd.
Mark
All right? If the pattern is, you know, 1, 3, 5 is odd, then maybe it is even. I've never considered. I'm going to go with the optimistic route that it is true.
Bob
Good job, buddy. Hey.
Wade
All right.
Bob
You're so smart at this.
Mark
Do you know what the definition is? I don't know.
Bob
Well, technically, I think the definition of an even number is any integer that is divisible by two without leaving a remainder. And technically, zero divided by two equals zero.
Wade
You can divide zero by other numbers, but you just can't divide by zero. Yeah.
Bob
Good job, Mark. You knew that. I knew you knew that. Wade, question 20. Wade, I know you can get this one. It's right in your wheelhouse. I believe in you.
Wade
I'm on it.
Bob
True or false? The chemical symbol for potassium is K. You know this, right? You're a big periodic table guy, right?
Wade
I believe that's true.
Mark
Got all the periodic tables up in your room there.
Wade
Potassium is the one. That's K, right? Yeah, that's true.
Bob
That's true. Good job.
Wade
I know some periodic table. It's in blueprints.
Bob
There you go. All right. Well, that was the first round through the 20 questions questions, and you guys got, let's see, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. You got 12 correct, and there are eight questions remaining.
Wade
Wait, does that mean I got seven wrong? Because I think Barley got, like, one wrong, didn't he?
Bob
The scores are not very close right now, but that's okay, because the game is not over.
Wade
Good.
Bob
Good. That was a good run, though. Honestly, one of you definitely did more gooder than the other. But I'm not going to hold that against you. You're still in this, Wade. And all you have to do is remember. Because I told you all the answers, right? You knew the game. I told you what the game. I gave it up ahead of time this time. So all you have to do is remember. So we'll start. Because you're losing so badly, we'll start with Wade. We'll switch up who gets to go first for this round.
Wade
Okay. I was kind of a mister who was losing, but it's okay now. I know.
Bob
All you have to do is remember. You have to recall. True or false. Thomas Edison improved the light bulb.
Wade
True.
Bob
That is true. Good job. I don't know how to spell any of these words. All right, Mark. True or false. Bananas grow on short trees.
Mark
False. It's an herb.
Bob
It's herb. There is my guy. There's my guy.
Wade
One short tree knows another, and he knows that's not a short tree.
Mark
Yeah, yeah. Shut up. Yeah.
Bob
He's right, Wade. True or false. The Wright brothers first flight was in 1913.
Wade
False.
Bob
Oh, good one. Coming back.
Mark
Was that a question that was asked before?
Bob
Yeah, we talked about the Wright brothers previously. Mark. True or false? Mozart and Beethoven were not alive at the same time. Not. True or false.
Mark
They were not.
Bob
This one was already answered correctly. So you know the answer.
Mark
I'm trying to think of the wording.
Bob
Huh?
Mark
Not true or false.
Bob
That's false.
Mark
Because they were.
Bob
Good one, man. Mark, you have so many points, I'm gonna have to. Oh, it's gonna get crazy. Wade. Don't worry. You're doing great, Wade. True or false? Moby Dick was published after Frankenstein. Fuck. This was your question. This was your question last time. I think you sort of talked through it all. False. Oh, I'm sorry. That is incorrect.
Wade
That's why you gotta word it through, Wade. You gotta word it real hard.
Bob
Oh, my God.
Wade
What'd you say?
Bob
It's all right. Look, Mark's getting them correct, so clearly it's possible.
Wade
Damn. I hate whales.
Bob
Mark, true or false sound travers. Slower sound travel slower in water than in air.
Mark
False. It's faster.
Bob
Good job. Good.
Mark
See, Wade, just take your time with it. You gotta. You gotta let your neurons go. Slow down, stop and go in reverse.
Wade
If he asked me the movie Dick question right now, I don't know if I get it right.
Bob
Don't worry. It'll Come back up. Wade. True or false? The Mona Lisa is painted on canvas. Mona Lisa. Famous painting. Right? We talked about this.
Wade
Can you take paint?
Bob
Why would you do that?
Wade
I don't know, but the way you asked the question. I don't like it. False.
Bob
The Mona Lisa is painted on canvas. False is your answer.
Wade
True. False is my answer.
Bob
That's true. False is correct. Good job, buddy.
Wade
I thought Mark got it with was painted on cameras. Like, is it now?
Bob
I didn't rephrase that one. That was exactly the same question I asked the first time, and I'm glad that you guys picked up on. I'm rephrasing things because I. That is the. That is the bit, isn't it?
Wade
I'm a bit confused.
Bob
That was Wade's question mark. True or false? Ecuador is north of the equator.
Wade
Ecuador is just making up countries now, willy nilly.
Mark
Okay.
Bob
All right.
Wade
It's down there with Paraguay, Uruguay, Brazil, Chile, Ecuador.
Mark
Don't tell me where Ecuador is. Of course I know. Rephrase it again.
Bob
Say. Say what you said, Mark. True or false? Ecuador is north of the equator. Do you want me to help you?
Mark
No.
Bob
Would you like me to rephrase it?
Wade
No, not at all.
Bob
You sure?
Mark
Ecuador. False.
Bob
This is the same one that I was fucking around with. Ecuador is in the exact same situation that Brazil is. The equator runs through it.
Wade
Oh, dude. If you pronounce Ecuador a different way, what you say is equador. That's what I was already saying. Were you not listening to me? No, of course I wasn't.
Bob
Anyway, it is primarily not north of the equator, so I'm going to say it's primarily false, which means you primarily get a point. Not that you need it, but it's fair, though.
Wade
That's fair.
Mark
Oh, Ecuador.
Wade
Hey, he's looking at maps, looking up Ecuador.
Mark
I want to learn more about Ecuador.
Wade
People are going to think I don't like Ecuador. Well, if you get more questions later about Ecuador, now you know more about Ecuador. That's not fair.
Mark
I'm reading up on Ecuador. You can't stop me, Bob.
Bob
All right, Wade. Are you ready?
Wade
No.
Bob
True or false? A group of ravens is called a murder.
Wade
I don't know what the fuck a.
Bob
Group of ravens is called. False.
Wade
Unless. False. Asterisk.
Bob
What's the asterisk? I'm into this.
Wade
Unless they are.
Bob
Okay, well, no, you are correct. That is false. Because, enjoyably enough, a group of ravens can be called an unkindness or a conspiracy, which is the fucking best thing ever.
Wade
They were called a murder. But they are now never more.
Mark
Speaking of crows and ravens, there was a TikTok that I saw before quickly deleting TikTok again, because I downloaded it again. I was like, I haven't been on it a while. Maybe I'll try it out. And then I felt my brain deteriorating. I literally felt myself being hypnotized. So I deleted it. But I remember this TikTok being like, if you have to ask, it's a crow. When it's a raven, you will know.
Wade
And I don't know.
Bob
I don't know.
Mark
I still don't know the difference, really. I know one of them's like, really croaky.
Bob
What does that mean?
Mark
I don't know. I mean, I'm not sure if a raven will be so unbelievably obvious with its 20 foot wingspan and, like, descending on me with a human speech, but.
Bob
I think they're not that different. All the pictures that I'm seeing, they look almost indistinguishable, except for it's like, oh, the tail's a very slightly different shape and the head shapes just noticeably different. If you get a still photograph of them in perfect side profile, I guess they make different sounds.
Mark
Yeah. One of them is more like croaky.
Wade
And crowy or raveny.
Bob
Yeah, it's confusing more than anything.
Mark
We don't want any confusion in here. In this episode, if I.
Bob
If I ever need to tell a raven from a crow, I'm not gonna know. How would I know?
Mark
Oh, you'll know.
Bob
That's so ominous. All right, Mark, good job knowing your country's that are close to the equator, Wade.
Wade
Wait, didn't I just do the raven one?
Mark
Yeah.
Bob
Oh, yeah, I know Wade got the raven one. I went back too far. Good job on the Raven one, Wade. Mark, true or false? Napoleon was exiled thrice. Thrice.
Wade
Is that like three or like the rice?
Mark
Can you use it in a sentence? Could be the country of origin.
Bob
It's. No. You know the word. This is not spelling me. Napoleon was exiled Thrice. True or false? False. Good job, buddy. I'm so proud of you. Thanks, man. And you guys aren't falling for this as hard as I thought you would. I gotta be honest. I was really hoping that we'd go around and around and around.
Wade
That means we're scores are close, right?
Bob
Yeah. No, Everyone is really competitive right now. It's going really good, Wade. For no specific reason. I'm gonna offer you two points on this one. Ooh. True or false? Moby Dick was published before Frankenstein.
Wade
Fuck.
Bob
We talked about this twice now.
Wade
One of them came first, then the other one came after. So your sentence was Moby Dick was published before Frankenstein?
Bob
Yes. False. He did it. Oh, he did it, did he? Unless all of what I have written down is incorrect, in which case none of this means anything. But it's a game anyway, so who cares? Actually, I think this means you guys have successfully answered all 20 questions. Game over. It doesn't have to be over. All right. Wait. Do you want some more?
Wade
Huh?
Bob
Wait. True or false? Thomas Edison invented the light bulb?
Wade
False.
Bob
All right, I'm not gonna give you points for that. No, no. That's rude. That's rude. That's rude. That's rude. I'll give you half a point. I don't want to sugarcoat it. You guys did so much better on this game. I told you, it's gonna be easier. I toned it back. I. We only had a couple hilarious moments about Moby Dick and stuff, and I only misread one word in a way that was very unfortunate for the nature of the question I was asking. But I was only kind of trying to get Wade some extra pity points here to bring him back into reaching distance. But, no, that's fine. I almost filled up the whole. I started writing real big. I almost filled up your whole side of my page. Wade, it looks like you really were in this one.
Wade
Thank you.
Bob
I changed the font size to 16 and really started filling it in. Mark, you earned points for One Penny Past Due. And being the pettiest man alive, you earn points for. Triangle, first time, number of Senses, Deaf Composer, Mount Everest, Titanic, Isosceles, Cows, zero, Bananas, Mozart, Plants, Beethoven, second time, Sound, Air, Ecuador, and Napoleon. Wade, you earned points for Old Man Yells at Traffic, Big Luggage, Great Lakes, Other Mozart, Odyssey, Brazil, Potassium, Edison, Wright Brothers, Mona Lisa, Ravens, Frankenstein.
Wade
That sounds like a lot.
Bob
That does leave Wade two and a half points down. Which means if the first wheel spin that we do here goes really, really well, it's going to be fine.
Mark
Looking forward to it.
Bob
Oh, also, I have to add something to the wheel. Something about the truest boy or the falsest? The falsest. Yeah. Well, let's get this out of the way and see how much the next parts really matter. How many bonus points will there be?
Wade
Oh.
Bob
Oh, there's a chance. There's a chance.
Wade
I had my coin ready just in case it was less than 3.
Bob
I appreciate that. That's a good idea.
Mark
I don't think anyone's called that on a. On a wheel.
Bob
I was prepar yeah, that's technically. That's technically allowable, I think.
Mark
I don't think there's any rules against it.
Bob
The most false. If anyone tells a lot of lies or gives a lot of misinformation or just can be agreed to be the most false, I feel like that's where that one goes. And then let's see if Wade can do this. Imagine if Wade gets all three bonus points. Imagine considering how much of a disadvantage he's at on the wheel in general. That'd be crazy.
Wade
Hey, Mark had a four point comeback last time I hosted. I think that's true. That's true.
Bob
Most distracted.
Mark
Well, given that Wade didn't even remember what we were talking about halfway through there.
Wade
Huh?
Bob
Are you seeding that one, Mark?
Mark
I think I have to.
Wade
I don't remember. I don't remember being distracted.
Bob
Well, that'll do it.
Wade
Don't call it a comeback.
Bob
Come on. Bald Least all happiest contributions.
Wade
Mark owing a penny or me. Drivers.
Mark
He was. He was complaining about traffic.
Wade
I was not happy.
Mark
I was laughing. I had a great time.
Wade
I. I think I have to see that.
Bob
Yeah, I think Mark. Mark gave us a story that would be angry, except he was laughing and he thought it was hilarious.
Wade
I was bitter and angry.
Bob
Wade was just complaining like the bald man he is. There's still some spins on this board that could really get you back in this game.
Wade
Instant tie. Sudden death is on here.
Bob
Let's not do that. There are a couple options that could really save this Wade. Oh, well. Best looking.
Mark
Not saying, but I bathed yesterday, so.
Wade
I was at an airport all day and did not. I also forgot deodorant today, and I noticed that a little while ago.
Bob
All right, well, Wade's just trying to give this one away, so.
Wade
I mean, I've already lost. Let him have it. He's never the best looking. He can get it once.
Bob
Yes, yes, yes. The final score. With Mark getting two of the bonus spins and Wade getting one of them. The final score comes out to Wade with 12 and a half points and Mark with 16. It was really that first time through the questions, Mark just got a lot of them right. Right off the rip.
Wade
I got like six wrong in a row.
Bob
I was hoping that more of those would be wrong, but when I reduced it to the 50. 50 guests to start out, it gave you guys a much better chance of getting some even if you had no clue. And I told you I toned it down. You thought it was a trap.
Wade
It was.
Bob
I toned it down. You guys did really Well, I know.
Mark
That if this comes up again, we're going to be devastated.
Wade
He's not going to finish the question.
Bob
20 impossible questions. The game ends when we answer all of them. You may google anything you think might help.
Wade
Bob has made up his own language in which he will ask us questions. You need to decipher it.
Mark
It's many ciphers.
Wade
Deep.
Bob
Do you know anything about cryptography?
Wade
That's what morticians do with bodies.
Mark
We'll solve unsolvable math. What is it? Postulates theorems.
Bob
This theorem nearly drove Albert Einstein insane and he declared it to be unsolvable.
Wade
What an idiot. Right guys?
Bob
Prove that. That old crazy moron wrong. Ready?
Wade
What is the right moral theory?
Bob
That's easy. That's a one word answer.
Mark
Oh, you're not getting a psychology in here, philosophy man.
Wade
Get my psychology out of my philosophy.
Bob
Anyway, congrats, Mark.
Mark
Thank you.
Bob
You did great. And would you like to give your winner speech? I would.
Mark
Yes. I appreciate everyone for believing in me and I appreciate myself for having utter confidence this entire time. My opponent, I believe was at a disadvantage because of his lack of sleep and traffic, of course. But given that I live in la, I feel like we might be on even terms. So thank you for this victory and the best looking winner signing off possibly ever.
Bob
Wade, loser speech.
Wade
This loser speech is brought to you by nobody. I lost. I bring my own game to this losing. And by having played, I knew that I could lose. And I did.
Bob
How is that? How was such a short statement confusing? What just happened? I have a stroke.
Wade
20 loser speeches.
Bob
You know what? You really came. You put it on at the end, Wade, you really came back. You fought hard, just not smart enough. Yes, sorry.
Wade
Thank you.
Bob
Mark is the best looking and the smarter one today. So if that proves this game proves anything, it definitely proves that I've got.
Wade
Something on my side.
Bob
Baldest, usually second tallest, second shortest and.
Wade
Most traveled between episodes.
Bob
Longest time lived in one tri state area.
Wade
Ah, for now. Till I die.
Bob
Yeah, I'm gonna outlive you a while.
Wade
So, based on the amount of peanuts I can consume today, hoping to get the eating point Likely.
Bob
I call those Ethan killers. Anyway, that's the end. Thank you so much for watching and listening equally today because everyone deserves to be appreciated sometimes. Make sure you follow the podcast and you'll know when the episodes come out. You just put the little plus thing or whatever, Fridays and Mondays, so you should know that. But if you don't, it'll tell you. Make sure you follow. Wade and Mark, their names are on screen and let Loreminion777 or Minion777 or Markiplier follow me. Just search Mark's friend. Bob. I made that joke before, but it actually works so it's probably the easiest.
Mark
Way to find me. Very soon.
Bob
Very soon.
Mark
Yeah, very soon.
Bob
Okay, thanks so much. Make sure you listen to the next one where Mark will host because he is the smartest, best looking and greatest host host of this show. That's it. I'm out of here. Podcast out.
Mark
You're getting a lot of points. Next time, Bob, you're gonna get a lot of points.
Bob
Listen, I'm not. I'm not doing that on purpose, but if it earns me points in the forthcoming episode, I'm. I'm not gonna say no.
Wade
You know, true or false, you didn't do it on in purpose. This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's fruit snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.
Mark
Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.
Bob
Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.
Mark
Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.
Wade
It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions. Please use responsibly.
Mark
This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu. Futurama returns on September 15.
Bob
I love this show. It's a great show. I'm excited for another season.
Mark
Anyway, the Planet Express crew is back, defying gravity and common sense from the creator of The Simpsons. Come 10 new episodes where the romance is hotter, the threats are bigger and the action is harder.
Bob
Don't miss the all new season of Futurama returning September 15th at 8pM Watch it on FXX or stream it on Hulu.
Date: June 27, 2025
Hosts: Bob Muyskens (Host), Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes
In this comedic and competitive episode of Distractible, the trio returns to a classic segment with a twist: “20 Simple Questions,” a game-show segment where Mark and Wade face off in a round of true-or-false questions curated by host Bob. The questions range across science, history, and general knowledge, providing plenty of opportunities for banter, confusion, and friendly roasting. Along the way, the friends share everyday gripes, tell relatable stories, and compete for the coveted winner’s spot and accompanying bonus points. The tone is irreverent, full of sharp wit, self-deprecating humor, and recurring in-jokes.
[03:45] – [10:30]
[21:45] – [45:00]
Bob: “A group of ravens can be called an unkindness or a conspiracy, which is the fucking best thing ever.” [37:14]
Mark: “If you have to ask, it’s a crow. When it’s a raven, you will know.” [37:59]
[45:00] – [49:00]
This episode showcases Distractible’s well-loved formula: real-life anecdotes, tongue-in-cheek complaints, silly competitions, and playful ribbing. The “Simple Questions” format highlights each host's strengths and blind spots, while the group camaraderie and willingness to laugh at themselves keep the pace lively and fun for listeners. Mark’s pettiness about a one-cent invoice, Wade’s travel woes, and Bob’s scam paranoia all serve as perfect fodder for fast-fired jokes and relatable gripes. If you want laughs, trivia, and an hour with three friends who are both clever and self-deprecating, this is a can’t-miss episode.
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Best quotes:
Episode Mood: Silly, competitive, off-the-cuff, and friendship-forward.