Anything Goes (Part 3)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Distractible – "Anything Goes (Part 3)"

Date: November 28, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens
Theme: A fast-paced, random-topic competition—where rules mutate mid-game and chaos reigns. In this “Anything Goes” threequel, the trio indulge in wild headlines, personal stories, banter, and an ever-shifting mini-game of "who gets the last word".

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Episode Overview

"Anything Goes (Part 3)" is Distractible at its most unpredictable. Embracing their hallmark blend of absurdity and friendly competition, Mark, Wade, and Bob challenge each other to share odd news, thoughts, or stories. The twist: a random timer (unknown length) runs while each person talks, and only the person speaking when the timer ends scores a point. The rules morph on a whim, and the episode is a riot of sharp banter and surreal moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Killing the Competition (03:32)

• Mark proclaims: “Welcome to Distractable, the only show you'll ever need. Because we killed all the others ones.”
• The trio riff on being the “last podcast standing”, with recurring absurd names like “Pod Catholics” and “Podcapocalypse”.

2. Thanksgiving Woes & Sick Hosts (06:28)

• Wade discusses being sick just before family visits for Thanksgiving.
• Quote: “Boy, do I love getting sick right before hosting a house full of people I'm supposed to cook for.” (Wade, 06:54)
• Mark dubs him “Plague Host”, then “Original Plague Boy”.

3. Media and Series Catch-up (08:39)

• Bob shares binge-watching "Gen V" and “Welcome to Derry”.
• Mark, unimpressed by "The Boys", bails after a certain infamous scene:
  “It just seems like the people that make that show just want to make the grossest shit possible.” (Mark, 09:32)

4. “Anything Goes” Game Begins (12:09)

• Mark explains the rules of “Anything Goes”: participants take turns sharing topics; a random timer runs; when it stops, whoever’s talking gets the point.
• Wade: “I know I have something to talk about that there's a 0% chance you're going to steal from me.” (12:44)

5. Whirlwind News Cycle

Soulja Boy’s Consoles (13:10)

• Bob rapidly introduces Soulja Boy’s new game consoles; timer cuts him off mid-topic.

“Wicked” Movie Podcast (14:20)

• Wade launches into a review of “Wicked” and its film adaptation—only to be interrupted by the timer a mere 31 seconds in.

Netflix Diddy Doc (15:23)

• Bob: “Netflix announces 50 Cent produced Diddy documentary series proving it's all about the Benjamins.” (15:23)
• Timer cuts him off in FOUR seconds.

6. Morbid Real-Life Oddities

Crematorium “Resuscitation” (15:51)

• Wade shares a wild story: a woman in Thailand wakes up in her coffin at the crematorium.
• Mark: “Did they put her there?”
• Details emerge about her brother possibly trying to get rid of her.

7. Sports Shenanigans: Bengals Scandal (17:46)

• Bob speaks on Joe Burrow's return and a Bengals player's spitting controversy.
• Mark: “Who's spitting on who?” (18:02)
• Lively breakdown of NFL on-field drama.

8. Snack Food Tangent (20:01)

• Conversation detours to Cheetos puffs vs. crunchy and “munchies” mixes.
• Bob: “They were my dinner. Sometimes when I worked at EDF.” (21:09)

9. Absurd Headlines Rapid-Fire

Topics volleyed back and forth—including:

• Elvis Wig Judge (22:03): Judge in Missouri forced to resign for donning an Elvis Presley wig and playing Elvis tracks during court.
• Aussie Vegemite Rights (23:35): An Australian prisoner claims a “human right” to Vegemite, prompting confusion between “Vegemite” and “Vagisil.”
• Henna/Hentai Mishap (24:33): Bob remembers embarrassing convention story mixing up “henna” tattoos and “hentai”.
• Bald Eagle Cat Drop (25:31): Motorist in NC claims bald eagle dropped a cat through their windshield.

10. Spider “Superweb” (28:00)

• Wade introduces a study on the world’s biggest spider web—“tens of thousands of spiders” cohabiting in an Albanian-Greek cave.
• Bob: “You lost me at spiders.”

11. Claustrophobic VR Caving Sidebar (29:13)

• Mark describes a horrifying VR game simulating tight caves famous for real-life fatalities.

12. Meta-Commentary & Searching for Stories (30:28)

• Bob and Wade admit to using the same weird-news site for inspiration.
• Bob: “We're so uncreative in our searching that we both end up…on the same headlines.” (30:44)

13. Miss Universe “Dumbhead” Scandal (32:22)

• Wade reports: Miss Universe organizer under fire for calling Miss Mexico a “dumb head” when she didn't post mandatory social content about the host country.

14. Dave Ramsey “God’s Properties” (34:25)

• Bob cites radio personality Dave Ramsey's claim that managing 15-20 houses isn't greedy because “God owns it, I'm just managing it for God.”
• Wade: “I declare God is greedy. Take that, Dave Ramsey.” (34:43)

15. Bizarre/Surreal Closers

• Chuck E. Cheese Arrest (36:26): Children watch in shock as mascot is arrested in Florida for credit card theft.
• Bear Attack Shelters Japan (37:52): Bear attacks surge in Japan, shelters go on sale. Wade wins a disputed “photo finish” point here.

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Game Show Finale & Running Score (41:33)

• Mark tallies points; Bob emerges victorious, 14-12.
• “If there's a way to monetize that, I should really figure it out because I got the touch.” (Bob, 44:55)
• Mark’s “loser speech” is a job pitch: “Yeah, I turned my loser speech into a ploy for another job.” (Wade, 46:39)
• Finale banter includes Mark’s microwave adding random time, kitchen appliance gripes, and jokes about Wolf-brand microwaves: “Take this microwave, shove it up your ass.” (Mark, 46:05)

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Notable Quotes

• Mark: “Welcome to Distractable, the only show you'll ever need. Because we killed all the others ones.” (03:32)
• Bob: “Sometimes the game plays directly into your strengths. I don't know why my strength is having a sense of when a timer is gonna go off across the entire country…” (44:55)
• Wade: “If our entire family's wiped out in two weeks, it's probably me. Probably whatever I had.” (07:55)
• Mark: “It just seems like the people that make that show just want to make the grossest shit possible.” (re: The Boys, 09:32)
• Mark: “Take this microwave, shove it up your ass.” (46:05)

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Funniest & Most Memorable Moments

• Rule Chaos: The game’s rules keep changing, confusing even the hosts.
• Vegemite/Vagisil Confusion: Leading to the creation of “Vegasil” (24:19).
• Henna/Hentai Convention Story: Bob accidentally tells young fans about a “hentai tattoo” (24:36).
• Sports Spitting Controversy: Bob and Wade break down NFL etiquette and flaws (18:30).
• Meta Realization: Both Bob and Wade accidentally using the same news source for topics (30:28).
• Photo Finish Point: Debated “bear attack shelter” story—whether Wade or Bob landed the last word (38:38).

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Structure & Organization

Main Segments With Timestamps

• 03:32: "Killing" other podcasts, opening banter
• 06:28: Thanksgiving sick host story
• 08:39: TV and movie catch-up/new show references
• 12:09: Rules of Anything Goes, game begins
• 13:10–29:00: Rapid-fire topical stories, with timer interruptions, e.g.:
  • 13:10 Soulja Boy news
  • 15:51 Thai woman wakes in coffin
  • 17:46 Bengals/sports
  • 22:03 Elvis judge
  • 23:35 Vegemite prison rights
  • 25:31 Bald eagle drops cat
  • 28:00 Spider superweb
• 29:13: Claustrophobic VR caving game sidebar
• 30:28: Hosts admit sourcing from same site
• 32:22: Miss Universe pageant scandal
• 34:25: Dave Ramsey/“God is greedy”
• 36:26: Chuck E. Cheese arrested
• 37:52: Bear attack shelters
• 41:33: Final scoring and wheel spins; victory speeches

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Episode Vibe & Tone

High-energy, irreverent, with classic Distractible camaraderie. Absurdity, friendly ribbing, chaos, frequent laughter at both the world and themselves. The morphing game show format encourages wit and quick thinking, and the episode ends on celebratory—if mildly incredulous—notes as Bob is named the winner.

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Takeaways

• Format Innovation: The “last-word-wins” rule creates madcap energy, emphasizing timing as much as content.
• Group Chemistry: Mark’s mischief, Wade’s exasperation, and Bob’s unflappable delivery keep things lively.
• Bizarre News Bonanza: From spider caves to Vegemite disputes and spitting football players, the range of odd stories is both bizarre and thoroughly entertaining.

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For New Listeners

Even if you missed the episode, this summary lets you relive the chaos: expect quickfire nonsense, strange news, and the Distractible trio at their most unfiltered and entertaining.

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Winner: Bob
Score: 14–12 (after bonus wheel points and a contested “photo finish”)
Best Line:

• “Sometimes the game plays directly into your strengths. I don't know why my strength is having a sense of when a timer is gonna go off across the entire country…” — Bob (44:55)

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(For full details, see timestamps above for notable segments and jump right to your favorite bizarre moment!)

Transcript

[Markiplier]

This episode is brought to you by Facebook. The Holidays bring people Home. Facebook brings people together. From spontaneous messages that lead to overdue catch ups, to finding new communities and friends to go on tangents with. Like in your favorite podcast Facebook group on Facebook, a little connection goes a long way, especially the night before Thanksgiving.

[Bob]

Facebook is the only way I keep track of like a lot of my family members around the holidays. We're all like nostalgic and remembering like the time that we could all fit under while and so we all reach out like oh, have these stories and such, which is actually really, really nice.

[Wade]

But you know, it's even better than that things. Facebook Marketplace is my favorite, but it's even more fun when I have to go visit my stupid parents around the holidays and I can pull up Facebook Marketplace and see what's for sale around their house.

[Bob]

I caught up with a friend I hadn't talked to.

[Markiplier]

What'd you buy?

[Bob]

A few moments of their time.

[Markiplier]

You had to pay for that lame. Let's reconnect this holiday season with.

[Wade]

This episode is brought to you by Panda Express. If someone wanted to tell me that they love me, all they would need to do is get me some honey walnut shrimp from Panda Express. The message would not be lost in translation. In fact, I might even rather have honey walnut shrimp than words from an actual human mouth hole. If you're trying to get a message to me honey walnut shrimp, however you want to say it, say it with delicious, authentically cooked American Chinese cuisine from Panda Express. Have you eaten yet? Order now or visit the Panda Express near you. This episode is brought to you by Pettivity.

[Bob]

In every pet story, there is a moment. A moment where seemingly minor changes could be the first signs of larger issues.

[Markiplier]

Petivity is reimagining pet care to help you better understand what's going on with your pets, with smart devices and at home health tests that proactively monitor their health.

[Wade]

Visit petivity.com all December long for a site wide sale on all smart devices and at home health tests.

[Markiplier]

This episode of Distractable is presented by T mobile 5G home Internet. Okay, how do you guys know when someone's really your friend?

[Wade]

I don't know.

[Bob]

I don't know.

[Wade]

But I do know that T Mobile 5G Home Internet's got your back with their fast speeds, easy 15 minute setup, a price for any budget and 5 year price guarantee. Visit T mobile.com homeinternet to check availability guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data exclusions like taxes and fees.

[Markiplier]

Fees apply, guarantees Monthly price of fixed wireless 5D Internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks guarantee exclusions.

[Narrator]

Details@t mobile.com homeinternet Good evening, gentle listeners, guild or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Marooned Mark talks exploding dongs, then gives us a threequel Bijou. Bob makes everyone cum while stuffing Wax is wicked Mr. Presley and constantly confabulates witching. Wade is dubbed Uatu due to Gen V, but raises Vegemite, hentai and bald eagles. From slaughtering podcasts to samurai bears. It's time for Anything Goes part three. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[Markiplier]

Welcome to Distractable, the only show you'll ever need. Because we killed all the others ones.

[Wade]

We killed them dead. We. We snuck into their apartments and now those shows don't exist anymore.

[Bob]

Yeah, we killed all those others ones.

[Markiplier]

Metaphorically, of course.

[Wade]

By being so good.

[Bob]

What, you mean that episode where we insulted them all finally worked? Yes.

[Markiplier]

They're all gone?

[Bob]

Good.

[Markiplier]

Yes. And now people only have us. Well, you know, I don't know if the world would be a better place if we were the only podcast in the world, but I know it wouldn't be a worse place.

[Wade]

Well, hey, his point is arguable. His point is arguable.

[Markiplier]

It's up to you. If you want to argue it, though.

[Wade]

No, I choose not to. But it's arguable.

[Bob]

No, it's rainy out. I'm too tired today.

[Markiplier]

Given that it's the Pod Apocalypse. Pod Capol.

[Wade]

Podcapocalypse podcast. Apolypse. Ocalip.

[Bob]

Pod Catholics. No, that's not it.

[Wade]

Pod Catholics.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, Pod Catholics. Given it's the pod Catholics.

[Bob]

I had.

[Markiplier]

Forget my point I was going to make. I was going to say something clever and witty after that. I think I just rubbed bacon grease into my eye.

[Wade]

Oh, dude, is that a new skincare routine for your eye skin?

[Bob]

What do you keep at your desk, Mr. Clean and Bacon?

[Markiplier]

No, I mean, I ate the bacon, but I haven't. I didn't exactly wash my hands since that moment, so that doesn't sing. I'm fine.

[Bob]

We can make some gravy in those peepers.

[Markiplier]

My name is Markiplier. I'm gonna be the host today. I've got my scoreboard and I've got an episode idea. And the people that I'm gonna subject to my whims is these guys, Bob and Wade.

[Wade]

That's us, baby.

[Markiplier]

Yeah. Only one of them is gonna See the end of this episode.

[Wade]

Well, I never watch our episode, so it'll probably be Wade, I guess.

[Bob]

Am I representing the listeners again? But I can only hear the end.

[Markiplier]

We represent the listeners.

[Wade]

Killed.

[Bob]

It's gonna be stuck in my head now.

[Wade]

You did it. I don't take credit for that.

[Bob]

Dude, I just got Pink Pony Club out of my head after the last, like, four days. I needed something else. This is fine. Is it scary movie 3 where they're like, the killer videotape from the Ring? Like, we're playing it all day? Here it is again. They just keep playing the Ring tape on repeat.

[Wade]

I don't remember accurately enough to know, but.

[Bob]

Oh, shizzle. Gizingar.

[Wade]

Never mind.

[Markiplier]

Look, Scary Movie 3 was a really, really funny movie. It shouldn't have been that funny. No, for being the third in the franchise and completely different directors, third movies.

[Wade]

Are often the best. Godfather Part three, you know, the Matrix, Revolutions. What's that one call? It's the third one called Reload. Revised Frozen three.

[Bob]

I'm melting.

[Wade]

Oh, that was pretty good.

[Markiplier]

That was pretty good. All right, small talk, man.

[Wade]

It's been. It's. I don't want to date this episode too hard, but it is coming out the day after American Thanksgiving. I don't know if you can tell. I'm pretty sick. I did not sleep last night. I'm feeling great. And guests arrive at our house, which we moved into less than two weeks ago for Thanksgiving, in approximately 30 hours. Totally ready. We have done all the grocery shopping and stuff, and we have a plan, but, like, I got a little sick over the weekend, and I was like, all right, I'm on the other side. And then yesterday night, I just had a pretty miserable night. It's not the flu or anything. I took one of them nose tests. But, boy, do I love getting sick right before hosting a house full of people I'm supposed to cook for.

[Markiplier]

Do you have a moral responsibility to not host those people if you're sick because you could get them sick?

[Wade]

Possibly. I'm definitely at the point now where I don't. It's just a cold. I don't. I took a Covid flu test. It's none of those things. And I'm like, I'm actually on the backside of it today, and it's going away, but I honestly don't know. The thing is, we're kind of. It's all family. And even if I told everyone, like, hey, I'm sick. I have a cold. So, like, you know, it's up to you if you want to come? Pretty sure they would all just come anyway. They're not concerned about it, and they'd rather just hang out.

[Bob]

I wouldn't. Pending menu.

[Wade]

Thanksgiving food. You mean pending menu.

[Bob]

I'd be there.

[Wade]

Turkey stuffing. You familiar?

[Bob]

I've heard of it.

[Wade]

Anyway, that's all that's been going on.

[Markiplier]

Okay, I gave you a point for being a plague bearer.

[Wade]

Yeah, I'm patient zero. If our entire family's wiped out in two weeks, it's probably me. Probably whatever I had.

[Markiplier]

I'm actually calling you Plague Host because, well, I guess you're not the host. But Plague Host sounds cool. And it sounds like a plague ghost, so there's multiple ways that you could have fun with that one.

[Bob]

It sounds like premeditated, scripted winning to me.

[Wade]

Can I request to be called the original Plague Boy?

[Markiplier]

No, Wade, you may be the original Plague Boy.

[Bob]

Thank you. I'm not sick.

[Wade]

If you so choose, you better get sick if you're going to take that moniker.

[Bob]

I'll try. I'll try.

[Markiplier]

Is that your sick voice?

[Bob]

Oh, it's me. Very Sick Boy playing Hello. You're very sick.

[Wade]

Oh, man, I forgot. That's what happens when Wade gets sick. I hate it.

[Bob]

Oh, man. No, I just have bad allergies. Other than that, I've been. I've been good. I've not done a whole lot. I've worked a lot. Played some really great games. I was talking to Mark about all these great games. He should try, but he's, you know, busy or something. I watched Gen V season two. I started watching welcome to Derry. So I've caught up on a little bit of shows the last couple days.

[Wade]

What is. What is gen v season 2? Am I supposed to know what that is?

[Bob]

So the Boys, the superhero show, that's like, real crazy. They have a spin off called Generation.

[Wade]

V or Gen V. That's the juice they drink that makes them all super duper. Right?

[Markiplier]

It is exactly the juice that they drink that makes them all super duper.

[Bob]

I watched Gen V season two, which I've been trying to watch for, like, a couple of years, months, and just haven't had time. Caught up on that. Started watching welcome to Derry, but not all that's out yet. That's the Pennywise it show.

[Wade]

I do actually know that one.

[Bob]

I think. Stranger Things Season 5 comes out this week. And then Fallout Season 2 is coming out soon. I want to watch those as well. So I've got a lot of shows I want to watch.

[Markiplier]

I watched the Boys for a little bit, and Then. All right. I know people probably have made this commentary a thousand times, but it just seems like the people that make that show just want to make the grossest shit possible.

[Bob]

It is actually the grossest shit on.

[Markiplier]

The screen because I got to that episode and. All right, Spoiler and. Or censor warning. Skip ahead. It's where the one that can shrink goes in. Do you know?

[Bob]

Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about.

[Wade]

You mean the thing that everyone always theorized Ant man totally should do, but Marvel would never allow.

[Bob]

He went in the front, didn't he? He was a pipe cleaner.

[Markiplier]

I got to there and I was like, that's enough of this show for me. I'm okay. I'm just.

[Bob]

All right, you know? Oh, don't worry. Gen V season two has its own take on something similar.

[Markiplier]

Oh, good.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Markiplier]

If they he was so good the.

[Wade]

First time, that's going to get him to watch it.

[Markiplier]

I'm going to call you the Watcher.

[Bob]

Thank you. I know that character from Marvel's what if? Which I've not seen the last, like, season or two of that, but I don't. I kind of like binge shows. I'll watch a bunch of shows for like three days, catch up, be done, and then I'll go the rest of the year, be like, oh, there's all these shows I want to watch. And then like just one random week of the year, I'm like, you know what? This week, I catch up on shows.

[Wade]

I haven't done that in a long time.

[Bob]

I hadn't. But yesterday I was just like, I'm taking a day and just watching stuff and being brain dead and having some brain rot. I enjoyed it. It was nice.

[Markiplier]

Well, that's good. That's good.

[Bob]

This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah, we all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that. Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what.

[Markiplier]

I think that might be them knocking on the door. And because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. To them or the FBI. I'm not 100% sure.

[Wade]

Yep.

[Bob]

When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up or there's a will. We're on our way. Uber, on our way. Download the app today.

[Markiplier]

All right, you boys ready for an episode?

[Bob]

Oh, I'm ready to rumble.

[Wade]

I already did.

[Markiplier]

So I have an idea here, and it's going to blow Your minds. It's called Anything Goes, Part three, where we don't do. And you guys have to go do that shit.

[Wade]

All right, all right, man.

[Markiplier]

All right, all right, all right. So here's, here's, here's the. The thing. We're gonna flip the thing and you guys are gonna take turns. Very specifically, take turns giving me any kind of information or article or things happening in the world. Try to keep them relatively topical that are going on and then I will judge its worth. Heads is weighed this time.

[Wade]

Because he's bald, I can see into.

[Bob]

The future that I'm going to win.

[Markiplier]

Alright, Heads. There you go. You get the go first point.

[Wade]

That's okay because I know, I know I have something to talk about that there's a 0% chance you're going to steal from me. Wayne. I'm confident.

[Bob]

Excellent. Well, I've got to take this before you find it.

[Markiplier]

All right. And go. All right.

[Bob]

This is three weeks old. I apologize for that, but I think it's worth Soldier Boy's latest handhold Council. Council consoles are out. Soulja Game Flip and Soulja Game X now available for purchase.

[Markiplier]

Game Flip? That's crazy.

[Bob]

We've not had a Soulja Boy update in so long.

[Markiplier]

Wait, what's the difference between those?

[Bob]

No idea. But they're both original Soulja Boy ideas and they are for sale.

[Markiplier]

What's the price?

[Bob]

Oh, it didn't say on this particular page. Let me see if I can find.

[Wade]

Wait, what's the Soulja game Pro Soldier game pro is177.75. But you can get it in black, white or blue.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah, there's the pro.

[Wade]

I see the Soulja game and the time.

[Markiplier]

Stop talking about this.

[Wade]

Stop talking.

[Markiplier]

Stop talking about it. You hear?

[Wade]

I don't know what that sound is, but I don't care for it.

[Markiplier]

I don't know why it's. I don't know why that's the sound effect.

[Wade]

What the fuck?

[Markiplier]

Alright, so the thing that people remind me that I forgot about the last Anything Goes is that I had a random timer and you only ever had that timer to say your entire story in. So now we can no longer talk about Soulja Boy. That has been done. There is no discussion to be had. And then Bob will go. And then Bob, you get a random time. I've set it between one second and three minutes.

[Wade]

God, I hope it's one second. All right, a podcast that I follow. I think it may have. I don't remember what it was. I think it was an NPR podcast possibly an episode came on this week. The new Wicked movie came out, which is the second movie of a play, a musical that only that shouldn't have been two movies and the second act of which is barely even a thing. And I thought it was really funny because the podcast is three people and they're going to talk about it and it's like two critics and then one other critic who's a huge Wicked fan uses the Wicked. Loves it. Seen it on Broadway, loves it. And one of the ones who's not a huge fan went F. Damn.

[Markiplier]

That. I couldn't even give you a point for that.

[Wade]

What? What was that? 28 seconds?

[Markiplier]

That was 31 seconds.

[Wade]

That's pretty close.

[Bob]

28 seconds later will be the sequel.

[Markiplier]

All right, so now we all know how the game goes. You gotta get your story out there quick or else you're never gonna know anything about it.

[Bob]

I'm ready. Put me in, coach.

[Markiplier]

Okay, ready? Three, two, one, go.

[Bob]

Netflix announces 50 Cent produced Diddy documentary series proving it's all about the Benjamins. Oh my God. That was the whole sentence? I didn't get the whole sentence out.

[Wade]

Well, they' he gets a point for.

[Markiplier]

That in four seconds.

[Bob]

Four seconds.

[Markiplier]

Sorry, man, I. I don't even know what you're talking about, so I didn't. Can't give you any.

[Bob]

Oh, I should be used to only having four seconds.

[Wade]

My turn?

[Markiplier]

Yeah, your turn, Bob. Ready?

[Wade]

The clock starts when I start. Okay. In Bangkok, a woman in Thailand scared the shit out of several people when she started moving after they opened her coffin to cremate her. She had been apparently decided to be dead, put in a coffin, and showed up at a crematorium or whatever you call it. A place where they cremate dead remains so they can be sent to the crematorium. And they opened the coffin to get the body out to chuck it in the furnace. And she was all, hey, wait a minute. And they were like, what the fuck do you mean, wait a minute? Get in the furnace or something. I assume that's the exchange that they had.

[Markiplier]

Did they put her there?

[Wade]

The 65 year old woman's brother drove her from her province to this temple where they do the cremation. There's no information about how the brother got her into the coffin or if he's been arrested. The brother had no official death certificate or anything. He was just trying to get rid of his sister, I guess. I don't know.

[Markiplier]

That was close. If that was. If they didn't know.

[Wade]

She's. She's a lot. She's fine. Now, the brother's story was that she's. That woman had been bedridden for a couple of years and that her health was in very bad shape. And he thought that she had become unresponsive and appeared to stop breathing for more than a day before he decided she was dead and tried to bring her. And apparently he also attempted to bring her to a hospital. And the hospital was like, nah, dude.

[Markiplier]

If you can't get in one, you go to the obvious next step, which.

[Wade]

Is, I guess, okay. So he brought her to a hospital because she expressed a wish to donate her organs. And the hospital was like, we can't take random organs from this random dead.

[Markiplier]

That was great. You got a lot of time for that one.

[Wade]

I was very responsive to the timer, too. I just. I'm very. I was being very respectful.

[Markiplier]

That is very good. All right, Wade, are you ready?

[Bob]

Oh, I'm ready.

[Markiplier]

Should I go when you go? Or should I say three, two, one, go, go, go.

[Wade]

When he goes, give him. Give him the best shot.

[Bob]

All right, Joe Burrow is back for Cincinnati Bengals. They're spitting on people. They're concussed. They're injured. They're still better than the defense. The offense is somehow still outperforming the terrible defense. Worst defense maybe ever in the history of the NFL.

[Wade]

Well, that's just not true.

[Markiplier]

Wait, who's. Who's spitting on who?

[Wade]

Oh, Jamar Chase was spitting on defensive back from that other team.

[Bob]

We played Jalen Ramsey at the end.

[Wade]

Of the game two weeks ago, or over a little over a week ago, recording this. The Jalen Ramsey came at Jamar Chase and threw hands and punched him. And everyone was like, what the shit? And then, like, the next day, it came out that the Bengals player Chase had spit on him during the course of the game because they had been up on each other's business.

[Bob]

I don't know who started it, but that was completely unacceptable that he did that.

[Wade]

Yeah, that's a ridiculous thing. Honestly, football, like pro athletes. Throwing, punching someone with a helmet on in the helmet. One stupid. Break your fingers to kind of like unacceptable. Bad example, but I at least understand it's heated. Like these guys are fighting for their lives. Gets heated, fine. Spitting on someone, Crazy ass choice.

[Bob]

Yeah, I don't like the spinning at all. Pretty ashamed of that.

[Wade]

Pretty stupid.

[Markiplier]

You know, I should have watched what it was. I think there was another hook in the last game that I did of this.

[Wade]

They'll tell you. And then that can be another episode.

[Bob]

Premise that we do we'll do the perfectest anything goes.

[Markiplier]

Wasn't it the last person talking? Wasn't it like, the last person talking about that subject gets the point.

[Wade]

I think it may have been. We definitely had an episode where whoever was talking when the timer went off got a point. I have no idea if it was anything goes.

[Markiplier]

Man, I was so clever back then. Oh, man. What happened to me?

[Bob]

We were younger, man.

[Markiplier]

Now I got to go pull up.

[Wade]

Didn't we talk about that guy who stole his kid's blood or whatever? He's getting younger.

[Markiplier]

That was it.

[Wade]

That was it.

[Markiplier]

Whoever was talking last got the point. That's what it was.

[Wade]

I forgot.

[Markiplier]

All right, everyone shut up. That was three years ago. I can't remember what happens. That was over three years ago, actually. Can you believe that?

[Wade]

I don't believe how long this has been happening now.

[Bob]

Yeah, I can, because I don't remember anything happened last week. I was thinking about whether I wanted Cheetos or Cheetos.

[Wade]

Puffs. Puffs, obviously.

[Markiplier]

I don't know. Sometimes I like the extra crunch.

[Bob]

I do. See, that's the thing. I like both.

[Wade]

You know, Mandy has it worked out, though. You know what it is? You have to get Cheetos, Puffs, and then regular Flamin Hot Cheetos, and you consume them together in a mix. Because then you get the puffs and the crunch, whether you get the regular and the spicy and you can mix and match.

[Markiplier]

Is this your topic? Should I have started the timer?

[Wade]

I mean, it can be.

[Markiplier]

All right, so to clarify for everyone that's very confused on how this episode is going, because clearly rules only applied three years ago, the way this game works is I have a timer that's a random time, and it's not just get the topic in. It's whoever's talking last gets the point. So I'm going to drop the time down to two minutes, which I believe is what I had before, and it's still one second to two minutes. So now there's two minutes or any random time in between, and the last person talking goes first.

[Bob]

Reminds me of the munchies, where you had, like, the pretzels and chips and Doritos.

[Wade]

I always thought those did not live up to the name. I get what they're going for, but it needs to be like, I like them.

[Bob]

They were my dinner. Sometimes when I worked at edf.

[Wade]

It needs to be, like, way better if it's going to be called the munchies, because it's really not any more special than just, like A Chex mix. It's just Other Chex. Like, it's fine. It's good. It's fine.

[Bob]

It's good to me. But I am the blandest person I know.

[Wade]

Yeah, you don't even like flavor on your food.

[Bob]

Bob wins that point.

[Wade]

Good job, Bob.

[Markiplier]

I don't know what that was about. Cheetos.

[Wade]

Yeah, Mandy's Cheetos.

[Markiplier]

All right, cool. Well, good job, Bob. You introduced it and you got the point there, Wade. Go.

[Bob]

Oh. Oh, man. I was ready. Twitch. Oh, Twitch. Makes me so mad and happy. Depending on the day. Happy on payday. Mad the rest of the month.

[Wade]

That's a bad spread. What's. What's. Why are you so mad? At.

[Bob]

Tell you about. But, man, I won't tell you. You'll never know my twitch.

[Markiplier]

Tea?

[Wade]

It's okay. I have a good one. Locked and loaded.

[Markiplier]

Are you ready? You better be, because the timer started.

[Wade]

A Missouri judge who wore an Elvis Presley wig in his courtroom and played the singer's music from his phone during court proceedings has agreed to a deal that will cut his career on the Ben to an end. He is going to step down. Judge Matthew Thornhill, who is a judge in suburban St. Louis, faces a six month unpaid suspension and he will resign after a disciplinary hearing where they had to discuss his Elvis in impersonation during court proceedings.

[Markiplier]

So he was actually Elvis.

[Wade]

He was sitting on the bench. And the defense attorney would be like, objection, your honor. And he'd be like, what does Elvis sound like?

[Bob]

I remember the classic Elvis this.

[Wade]

Oh, Elvis stuff.

[Bob]

You know, the jailhouse rock, blue suede shoes and whatever. Hound Dog.

[Wade]

I can't imagine a context in which this makes even the slightest bit of sense. But what would you do if you were in court and your judge was just like an Elvis or was, you know, whatever. I don't know.

[Bob]

The judge was Elvis. I thought it was one of the other. It's the judge.

[Wade]

No, this is the judge. This is the judge of the court.

[Bob]

Bob gets the point.

[Markiplier]

Oh, that laugh almost got you in there, Wade. That chuckle would have counted.

[Bob]

Raise a little thing called guilty. You're going to prison.

[Wade]

I mean, pretty much I would have concerns as a defendant. I mean, we can't talk about it. I'm not talking about it.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, that topic is over and dead. Wade, are you ready?

[Bob]

Oh, I'm ready. A prisoner in Australia is challenging the state's ban on inmates eating Vegemite, claiming that it is his human right to enjoy Vegemite. Vegemite. That's the right word. Yes. Okay. I confuse that with Vagisil sometimes, which is weird to say out loud, but my brain does.

[Wade]

Why would you need to know what Vagisil is for any reason?

[Bob]

In case I ever go to prison, I need to have my human right to Vagisil. Vegemite. Which one are we talking about? Vegemite.

[Markiplier]

You brought up the topic.

[Bob]

I just didn't know there was a human right to Vegemite.

[Wade]

I'm going to get you a tub. A tub of Vegemite and a tub of oil.

[Markiplier]

All right, great. Vegemite. Vagisil. Topic. Veg.

[Bob]

Darn you, Bob. We're talking a normal human cadence.

[Markiplier]

Vegasil.

[Wade]

I'm just having a conversation.

[Bob]

There is so much more to this article we'll never know.

[Wade]

Vegasil.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, Vegasil. You get the Vegasil point, but I'm trying to write down who brought it up and then draw an arrow to who gets the actual point.

[Bob]

So. You remember henna and hentai? I used to confuse those. It's the same thing.

[Wade]

I remember how you told a bunch of fans, including relatively young Ish fans, that you were getting a hentai tattoo. Yes.

[Bob]

Yeah. They were with their parents at a convention, like, oh, loser gets a hentai tattoo. You guys should come.

[Wade]

Yeah, I remember that. That was a good day. That was very funny. He did it a lot. He did it multiple times.

[Bob]

That's not, like, after the fact. Embarrassment. I still get thinking about it. I don't like it.

[Wade]

All right, Wade.

[Bob]

I didn't know what the topic was.

[Markiplier]

All right, that's going to Wade there, Bob. Good topic on the henna. Wait, you didn't bring that up.

[Wade]

That was kind of an equal contribution topic. Really? It was your turn.

[Markiplier]

I'm going to change the alarm. It's too abrasive. Want cheery? That's awful.

[Bob]

Looks like we're starting a children's cartoon.

[Markiplier]

That's a bit better. Ooh. Okay, everybody ready?

[Bob]

Whose topic is it?

[Markiplier]

Wade, it's your topic. Go.

[Bob]

Oh, there's a motorist in North Carolina who told 911 they had a bald eagle drop a cat through their windshield. That's kind of a crazy experience. Wouldn't it be?

[Wade]

I question how you could know that so specifically. Obviously, if something went through the windshield you had, that's pretty concrete proof that something went through the wood. But they were watching, and they were like, what is that a bald eagle? Oh, is he carrying a cat? Was he dropping the cat?

[Bob]

Oh, my windshield.

[Markiplier]

Oh, great topic, Bob.

[Bob]

Is it over?

[Markiplier]

No.

[Wade]

Yeah. Don't you hear the gong?

[Markiplier]

No. You didn't hear the gong?

[Bob]

No, I was so busy being caught up in Bob's description, I was just imagining it.

[Wade]

That's exactly how it happened.

[Bob]

Uh oh, I lost a contact lens. Hold on.

[Wade]

You lost a cut?

[Bob]

Oh, it's there, it's there.

[Wade]

Be careful rubbing those eyes, dude.

[Bob]

Yeah, I got sucked up into the void.

[Markiplier]

I wish y' all could experience the perfection that is my eyes that I rubbed bacon grease into earlier.

[Wade]

So good. The grease made them even better.

[Bob]

Is that your secret?

[Markiplier]

I actually, the secret is. Okay, total sidebar. I'm not starting a timer for this. I always forget that eye drops are a thing. Like, I'll go through my whole day being like, ah, God, if only, if only there was some way to cure this. Oh man, let me rub it some more.

[Bob]

God, it didn't work.

[Markiplier]

Oh, woe is me every day. And then the other day I got something in my eye. I was at the, I think I was at the dog park actually, and dogs are running by and one splashed into the puddle because it'd been raining here like crazy. And literally dog park pond water went, A drop went right in my eye and I go like, oh, oh, what could I do? Rubbing it doesn't help you.

[Bob]

Oh no.

[Markiplier]

And then I go, I go. And I'm like, oh, yeah, eye drops. I need to flush this huge bottle. Huge bottle of eyedrops. Not even like contact solution, like actual lubricating eye drops.

[Wade]

And it was great.

[Markiplier]

Instantly it felt better. I was like, oh, yeah.

[Bob]

Oh, they do, they're wonderful. I also don't use them.

[Wade]

Dude, eye drops feel so good. I have some. And I also forget they exist because I don't get that very. But there's been, there have been a couple times where I found the eye drops. I was like looking for something else and I was just like, yeah, I could use a hit. And you just like do some eye drops. Feels great.

[Markiplier]

It really does.

[Wade]

Your eyes feel so fresh, it's ridiculous.

[Markiplier]

All right, back to it. Whose turn? Bob's turn?

[Wade]

Yes.

[Markiplier]

Ready?

[Wade]

Uh huh.

[Markiplier]

And go.

[Wade]

Arachnid superweb reveals the surprising constant party life of cohabitating spiders. There's this. What's come to be known as the world's largest spider web is currently housing tens of thousands of spiders in a cave along the Albanian and Greek border. Researchers published their findings recently of two different species of spider peacefully cohabitating in this giant, terrifying sounding colony, which is nestled in a pitch black cave. And it's also a sulfur rich environment, so probably is just great in there, I'm. That must be really fun research.

[Bob]

You lost me at spiders. I want nothing to do with a big story about spiders.

[Wade]

Tens of thousands of spiders.

[Markiplier]

Oh, wait. You were so close to getting in there. If only your commentary was just a little longer. Bet you wish you had. I'm not gonna. Anyway, that was horrible. I would love to know more about this. Actually, I would love to know less about that. I don't want to know about any superweb that's on the Greek and whatever border. I'm definitely not going to go caving, and I'm definitely not going to go caving in that area.

[Bob]

A very oddly specific place to go caving.

[Markiplier]

I'm stealing. This is fantastic. I'm stealing a turn here, but it'll still apply. Whoever is talking last gets a point here. There's a VR game that I want to play and also don't want to play. That is a caving simulator. I'm talking full on in the butthole the earth like this. I'm not terribly claustrophobic, but just watching clips of that game makes me a little claustrophobic.

[Bob]

I couldn't. I could not do it.

[Wade]

You got to get, like a. Like a mixed reality setup for that, though. You got to build, like, a pillow fort. So when you do try and, like, lift your head, there's, like, stuff, and.

[Markiplier]

You'Re like, ah, gah. I know, right?

[Bob]

No, I disagree. Don't do it.

[Markiplier]

What's cool is the cave levels. Is the levels where people died in the levels.

[Wade]

The caves.

[Markiplier]

The caves where people died in.

[Wade]

Oh, sick. Wow. Are there ghosts in there? So you can see if you're beating the losers who died?

[Markiplier]

Oh, man. If I was a game developer, that'd be so Phasmophobia in the Nutty Putty Cave. Oh, can you imagine?

[Bob]

I got an EMF5 and I'm stuck.

[Markiplier]

Yay.

[Wade]

It was me. Oh, well.

[Bob]

And Bob got it. Unbelievable.

[Wade]

Yeah, I'm good at this game.

[Markiplier]

He's really good. Phasmo Cave. All right, good job. All right, Wade, it's finally your turn. This is your time to shine or something.

[Bob]

All right, breaking news. Bob and Wade both use same website to find stories to share with Mark during this episode. Because I'm seeing the same. Same headlines he's looking at.

[Wade]

Don't break the illusion. Whoa.

[Bob]

Shh.

[Wade]

Don't break the illusion.

[Bob]

Oh, we are so uncreative in our searching that we both end up. Oh, this one sounds like it'll have what we're looking for. And it so far, it Has.

[Wade]

Is that your topic?

[Bob]

Yeah, that was it. I just wanted to share that I saw. I unfortunately came across your spiders.

[Wade]

I will get away from that. What? You can have that website. That's all you, buddy.

[Bob]

Oh, we pretty thoroughly drained it.

[Wade]

You could milk some more out of there.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, I hope you can milk some more because this timer's got a lot of time left on it.

[Bob]

Oh well, man, we've talked about such great things. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

[Wade]

You don't remember what we talked about or.

[Bob]

Well, not remember what we've talked about so far Today I saw I see the Elvis judge.

[Wade]

Uh huh.

[Bob]

He doesn't look like Elvis in the photo they chose. I gotta say, he looks more like Bill Nye and Bill Gates had a baby.

[Wade]

That would be a nerdy ass baby. And also scientifically fascinating.

[Markiplier]

And Bob's got it.

[Bob]

I spoke for 90% of that time.

[Wade]

You really just gotta feel the timer and get yourself in there, you know.

[Markiplier]

All I remember from that is Bill Nye baby.

[Bob]

That's the important part.

[Markiplier]

All right. Okay. All right. This is going just about as good as the last time. And I actually realized on the subreddit someone made a full transcript of that episode. I'm not sure why.

[Wade]

Oh dang.

[Bob]

We have transcripts.

[Markiplier]

No, this one does though.

[Bob]

Oh, okay.

[Markiplier]

Man, I said Bob got it a lot this episode.

[Bob]

Well, it's been true.

[Wade]

It's the nature of how I talk. I really just sneak him in there.

[Markiplier]

Oh man. All right. Okay. Well Bob, time for you to meet your comeuppance. We've got time for just a few more. Ready?

[Wade]

Yes.

[Markiplier]

Up go.

[Wade]

The organizer of the Miss Universe pageant has told Sky News that he cannot stand down from his position despite allegations that he called Miss Mexico a dumb head.

[Bob]

I was expecting something incredibly like racist or a dumb head.

[Wade]

Apparently the contestants are obligated or and or expected to post promotional content about the country that's hosting the pageant. And it was in Thailand. So they were all supposed to post on their social medias about something about Thailand. I'm sure they gave them pictures or had them go on a trip or whatever. She was supposed to post something which she did not do for whatever reason. And apparently in front of all of the contestants or a large group of them, this guy was standing at the front with a microphone and she claims he called her a dumbhead. And he refutes this, although there was some argument and he was chastising her for not doing what she's supposed to do. And then he called security and Then she walked out of the room. He.

[Markiplier]

He called security.

[Bob]

Security. I called her a dumb head. Remove me immediately.

[Wade]

They had a verbal altercation where he may or may not have called her a dumb head. She said, you are not respecting me as a woman. And then he called for security and she left. And a bunch of other contestants went with her as a show of solidarity because. What the fuck? What the fuck? This is not a room full of six year olds, by the way. These are all adult people.

[Markiplier]

And Bob's got it, man.

[Wade]

Wade, you really gotta talk more.

[Bob]

I'm trying. You don't give me a little, you know, I got. I'm so interested in what you have to say, you don't leave any room. It's a great strategy.

[Markiplier]

I've run out of space, Bob.

[Wade]

You know, I think the score is gonna be real tight on this one.

[Bob]

Just use some of MySpace for Bob's points. Just don't delete Tom from my MySpace friends list.

[Markiplier]

All right, Wade, it's your time to shine.

[Bob]

All right?

[Markiplier]

And by that, I mean I'm setting the timer to one minute now, so. One second to one minute.

[Bob]

Oh, so I know exactly how long I have. No, no, I don't know who this is, but Dave Ramsey, he's a person. And he said owning 15 to 20 houses isn't greedy because God owns it, and he's just managing it for God. And if you're calling him greedy, what you're actually doing is calling God greedy.

[Wade]

I declare God is greedy. Take that, Dave Ramsey. If you don't know who Dave Ramsey is, you don't know the rage bait that is Dave Rams. He's this guy. He's this older guy, and he has a show where they do like financial advice, but all this financial advice is always like, all right, so you own three homes, but if you want to have a sustainable income, you really want to own seven or more homes. And you should probably raise your rent for your. For your renters by like 20 to 30%. 50. If they can afford it. Anyway, Dave Ramsey is miserable, and his show is only rage bait. And I see it on my. My like TikTok when I scroll sometimes. Mm.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob's good.

[Wade]

Wait, you really gotta talk, man.

[Bob]

Yeah, I see that you don't have.

[Wade]

Anything to contribute to these. That was your topic.

[Markiplier]

How do I make this more fair for you? What if I send you. When I hit the button, I'll DM.

[Bob]

You how much time there'll be. You have three seconds.

[Markiplier]

Don't. Damn it. Look, I. You'll have to keep track of how many it is at that time.

[Bob]

You know what? This. This losing isn't my losing. This is God's losing. So he's not gonna allow this to happen.

[Wade]

If Wade loses, he's making God a loser.

[Bob]

The wheel will vindicate me in the end.

[Markiplier]

All right. Okay. All right. Well, Bob, it's your topic and we're just gonna go back and forth. It's the last one. No, we'll go, we'll go. I want way to have some opportunity to claw back from the depths of hell that he's found himself in.

[Bob]

Let me in, coach. I'm a fourth quarter player anyway.

[Markiplier]

All right, Bob. Go.

[Wade]

Children look on in horror and shock as Chuck E. Cheese is arrested for credit card theft. Apparently a gentleman who. In Tallahassee, Florida. Because fucking of course it was in Florida. Who was wearing the Chuck E. Cheese mascot outfit in the Chuck E. Cheese, like, going around and be like, hey, kids, Chuck E. Cheese and the kids. There's body cam footage of two cops arresting him and it was for credit card fraud.

[Markiplier]

Wait, I DM'd you the time.

[Bob]

I wasn't gonna cut him off. He was still telling the story.

[Wade]

Whatever.

[Bob]

You're gonna cut him off?

[Wade]

I think that's the idea. Yeah. Is that you're supposed to jump in and if I want to win, we just need to play a lot of games where you have to be kind of rude to win.

[Bob]

Oh, I had that part covered. I couldn't see the tf. It was covered by my article. Okay. We're reorganizing. I see it now. Why is steam up?

[Markiplier]

You opened steam at the beginning of this episode.

[Wade]

That's a long time ago now.

[Bob]

I keep doing it. I think I don't know what I'm doing.

[Markiplier]

You instinctively just want to play a game to get away from this.

[Bob]

I sure do.

[Markiplier]

Let me play something I can win.

[Wade]

Blueprints for an hour. What are we talking about?

[Bob]

I've got this. There's no way. I don't get this point.

[Markiplier]

You've got this. I'm gonna. I'll send you the time that it starts at. You're so good. Ready?

[Bob]

Yes.

[Markiplier]

All right. And go.

[Bob]

In Japan, what do you think the most common animal to fear would be? Oh, I'll tell you the answer.

[Markiplier]

Bears.

[Bob]

Bear attack shelters are going on sale in Japan as the country experiences record high number of incidents. Bears in Japan going crazy. Listen, Bob, don't even try to say anything. I've got this point. I don't know if we gonged or not. But I'm gonna tell you about bears. They're mammals. They got claws. Tingly dork. Don't you step in. I'm telling you about. This is my point.

[Wade]

Almost. I almost snuck it in there. I could tell you were trying not. You were trying to keep it going. And I was like, ah. If I start talking, it'll stop. Man.

[Markiplier]

I have to ask the editors to do that photo finish. Look at the waveform.

[Bob]

It won't really.

[Markiplier]

We'll apply the point to the next episode. But to me, it sounded like Bob talked those two words at the exact moment the gong went off.

[Bob]

That was just from my perspective.

[Markiplier]

I swear. He somehow timed it. But I'll. I'll leave that one right now to Wade for the effort. But editors let us know because that will. That'll give Bob a point if he nailed that timing. Is that. Is that cool with everybody?

[Wade]

I appreciate that. That's pretty. That's pretty balanced.

[Markiplier]

Was it 0.4?

[Bob]

What was the topic?

[Markiplier]

I've forgotten now. Bears.

[Wade]

Bear attacks in Japan.

[Bob]

I didn't know there were such thing as bear attack shelters. But I can't talk about them anymore. The topic's over.

[Wade]

Yeah, there isn't such a thing as far as we're concerned.

[Markiplier]

All right, last round, Bob. It's your topic. Are you ready?

[Wade]

I'm ready.

[Markiplier]

Wade, do you want me to send you the time for this one?

[Bob]

No, no, I can. I can feel it.

[Markiplier]

All right, here we go. 3. 2.

[Wade]

Scientists at King's College London have discovered that my.

[Markiplier]

Bob's got it.

[Bob]

I was just about to cut in.

[Wade]

You were looking so eager too.

[Bob]

I know. I was like. I was like.

[Wade]

Did he not tell you? It was like four seconds.

[Markiplier]

I would not have had time to type to him. It was two seconds.

[Bob]

I also told him not to. I got this. I don't need. I don't need cheats on.

[Wade]

Well, that one was a really uninteresting topic. So we didn't miss out on anything. Don't worry about it.

[Markiplier]

All right. I'm gonna start with Wade's points for no reason. Yeah, you got points for Frozen three. I'm melting. Very funny. Very funny.

[Wade]

Man.

[Markiplier]

That was great. You are the watcher. You went first. Soulja game. Jamar Chase spitting on that other player. Yeah, that.

[Bob]

I don't like that. That one.

[Markiplier]

At this point, the rules changed. You called it a subreddit, which was funny. Ved just. No, that's not your point. Vegas went to Bob. Nevermind. 91 1. Eagle. Bald Eagle went to Bob. Dave Ramsey.

[Bob]

We're doing my points, though, right?

[Wade]

Yeah, he's trying to find points for you. Don't worry about it.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, you have a conditional bear point.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Wade]

Eight.

[Markiplier]

That's good.

[Bob]

Okay. Does Bob have at least.

[Wade]

You probably killed me in the small talk.

[Markiplier]

Yeah. Oh, no. But yeah, Bob, we represent the Listeners Guild Plague Host, Crematory Murder. Question mark, dummy. Bobby Cheetos, Twitch Elvis. Judge Vegasilph from Wade. Oh, wait, no, Wade. You got the henna tattoo that went to you.

[Wade]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

[Markiplier]

And then the superweb. I forgot. You got. You got some. You did some in there. Yeah, I have arrows going to you at least, so I'm assuming that's correct.

[Bob]

Don't call it a comeback back.

[Wade]

Bye, baby.

[Markiplier]

Bill Nye baby.

[Wade]

Bill Nye baby.

[Markiplier]

Oh, bill nye baby. Miss universe and then scientist. 13 points. So that's not as far apart as I thought they would be. It's 13 to 10, technically within range of at least a tie.

[Bob]

All right, I just need to spin a three and have three victories. Ow. Sorry, I hit my heel. That hurt.

[Wade]

What the shit?

[Bob]

I kicked my chair with my heel and it really hurt my foot.

[Wade]

Okay, maybe sit still for a second. Just relax.

[Markiplier]

Okay.

[Wade]

How many points will it be? Of course it will be three. Okay.

[Bob]

Oh.

[Markiplier]

How about for the wheel? If it's a sequel to an episode, add percentage to the tiewheel. Ooh, whatever the other thing. Other thing is here. There's a certain one that puts percentage. We'll do the same percentage that one does.

[Wade]

It's 10%.

[Bob]

All right, I gotta find some minuses to the wheel.

[Wade]

If episode is a sequel, add 10% to Tywheel.

[Bob]

If episode is a sequel, subtract 10% to Tywheel.

[Wade]

All right, three spins it is. Shall we?

[Markiplier]

You know it.

[Wade]

Happiest contributions.

[Markiplier]

Happiest. All right, let me look back at here.

[Wade]

I feel like my list is not the happiest sounding. I know Wade has a couple, but.

[Bob]

Is it list of points or list of topics brought up?

[Markiplier]

This is happiness. I'm trying to see which one's happiest by least happy by counting up the not happies.

[Bob]

Yeah, but by points or by who brought up which topic.

[Markiplier]

Who brought up which topic? So you have the 9101 or the bald eagle dropping a cat. That's not very happy.

[Bob]

No, that's not very happy. Jamar Chase wasn't very happy.

[Markiplier]

Jamar Chase spitting. And then there's a bear attack. So that's three unhappiest of Bob's four unhappies Wade, you had the happiest contribution. Congratulations.

[Wade]

You did it.

[Bob]

All right, two more to go. Hang on to your seats, baby. Cause this one's a screamer. Right? Matthew Lillard.

[Wade]

Most perceptive. Who added that to the wheel?

[Bob]

I don't know that I can argue me for that because I lost so many things. I didn't even see where Mart texted me the cheating answer.

[Wade]

That is a pretty bad fail on the.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, that's pretty bad. Yeah. I think that Bob having the incredible timing. Yeah, that's gotta go to Bob.

[Bob]

All right, two points for Wade coming up.

[Wade]

Is it on the.

[Bob]

On here?

[Wade]

It's not impossible for you to win.

[Markiplier]

This wheel is very rigged.

[Bob]

Come on.

[Wade]

The hardest thinker.

[Markiplier]

Artist, thinker. Well, Wade, you were doing a lot of thinking and not talking, so I guess I gotta give you that one.

[Wade]

Yeah, I definitely was not thinking. I was just going, going, going and winning, winning, winning.

[Bob]

Oh, man. I was being so thoughtful.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, Wade, you only got two out of the three wheel spins. It really was all about giving you that opportunity. But it was snatched from the jaws of victory. Anyway, congratulations, Bob. 14 points to Wade's 12. You did it.

[Wade]

I'm the greatest.

[Markiplier]

I'm actually amazed how close that was because it really didn't feel close.

[Wade]

It didn't feel very close at all.

[Bob]

You know, guys, I would feel offended, but you're right, it did not. I did not feel like I should be in this.

[Wade]

It felt like I was really running away at full speed with that one for a lot of it.

[Markiplier]

All right, winner. Speech, Bob.

[Wade]

You know, sometimes it's just meant to be. Sometimes the game plays directly into your strengths. I don't know why my strength is having a sense of when a timer is gonna go off across the entire country from where I'm currently sitting. But apparently if there's a way to monetize that, I should really figure it out because I got got the touch.

[Bob]

Or superhero power sensing someone's alarm clock.

[Wade]

I'm a feeler. I could. I got the feel. I feel it.

[Markiplier]

I have the feel about setting the microwave and then coming back when it's ready. Or I did before. My piece of microwave that doesn't work adds random time to my.

[Wade]

It adds time.

[Markiplier]

It adds random time.

[Wade]

What the hell kind of thing? Why would it do that?

[Markiplier]

Cool. Cuz it's all a touchscreen. There's no physical buttons, so it just goes off whenever it feels like. When like a little steam comes out of the vent at the top, it goes right over the touch controls. And it can actually suppress buttons.

[Wade]

That's so stupid.

[Markiplier]

It's so stupid. Look, you can't expect a company like Wolf to make good kitchen appliances.

[Wade]

Oof.

[Bob]

Allegedly.

[Markiplier]

Allegedly. Well true. Actually, I live this.

[Wade]

Yeah, I mean, if you have one. I think you're allowed to say that you think it sucks.

[Markiplier]

Oh, it's the biggest piece of shit. It is the war wolf. I don't know if you've ever tried to make a microwave before. This wasn't it. So take this microwave, shove it up your ass. All right, Wade. Losers beach.

[Bob]

This was a not very hard fought battle that I was in. By pure coincidence, Frozen. Though if you guys need some ideas for titles, call me. I got you. Yeah, I turned my loser speech into a ploy for another job.

[Markiplier]

All right, well that. I hope that works out for you, man.

[Bob]

Oh, people call me all the time for stuff because I'm good.

[Markiplier]

Of course. Of course you do.

[Wade]

Sure, I believe that.

[Markiplier]

And then we're gonna have a surprise point in a future episode. Probably the next one. Well, not the next one because Bob's gonna be hosting as a winner, but the next one that he's a participant in. He might get a conditional point if he actually got the photo finished, which I'd be very curious what that was. Thank you everybody so much for watching and listening. Hope you had a wonderful day and hope you are going to have a wonderful time after this. Sorry, your. This podcast only lasts a little bit through your workday. The rest of it will obviously be spent in silence as there's no other.

[Bob]

Podcast they can rewatch or listen to old episodes.

[Markiplier]

Be sure to follow the podcast so you always know when we release another episode, even though we do it at a very strict schedule. You never know. Follow these guys. My skirm Lordminion 777 or Minion 777.

[Bob]

I'm Markiplier. Thank you.

[Markiplier]

Podcast out.

[Narrator]

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