Distractible: “Anything Goes (Part 4)”

Episode Date: April 13, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

Episode Overview

In the fourth installment of "Anything Goes," Mark, Wade, and Bob let loose in a classic Distractible free-for-all. With no particular structure, the trio riff on bizarre internet content, mishaps in medical care, AI and tech news, strange news headlines from around the world, and plenty of their own personal misadventures. The episode delivers the show’s signature blend of chaotic laughter, sharp banter, and surprisingly real stories—plus a healthy dose of fart jokes, pity points, and wheel-of-fate hijinks.

Key Discussion Points & Segment Timestamps

1. Farts, TikTok Extremes, and Internet Rabbit Holes

[02:38 – 05:35]

• Mark, Bob, and Wade open by joking about judging each other’s farts – “That's such a good name for an episode.” (Mark, 02:50)
• Fartmaxing: Mark shares a TikTok genre of people trying to maximize their farts using odd concoctions (kimchi, pickle juice, high starch beans). “My farmax failed. I'll get 'em next time, boys.” (Mark, 03:43)
• Dog Medicine for Tough Hands:
  • Bob brings up the man who’s reportedly toughened his hands with dog pad medicine, explaining the bizarre consequences (static charge, hand calluses).
  • “His hands sound like they're made of... somehow glass or something. It's horrific.” (Bob, 04:13)
• The hosts riff on the dangers of internet deep-dives and speculate about the content they’re missing (or avoiding).

2. Clinic Confusion & Medical Mishaps

[06:40 – 15:28]

• Wade’s Health Adventure:
  • Wade discusses recent heart palpitations, describes wearing a heart monitor, and tells the story of being mistaken for a 78-year-old patient, leading to an almost-procedure with three nurses.
  • “And they finally saw through the grey in the ball and realized I wasn't 78 years old.” (Wade, 11:40)
  • Comedic tension as Molly is dismissed from accompanying Wade, leaving her “swelling into, like, red rage.” (Wade, 14:39)
• Spousal Support Struggles:
  • Bob empathizes, sharing about being excluded from his wife Mandy’s pregnancy appointments during COVID, highlighting the universal frustrations of partner exclusion in medical settings.
  • “Every time we're like, can I go with her for this one?... ‘No, you wait out here.’ Like, okay, thanks.” (Bob, 15:28)
• Medical Comedy:
  • Wade is shamed by a nurse for having chest hair before heart monitor sensors are applied: “She was very upset that I had any amount of body hair.” (Wade, 13:38)

3. Social Sidelining and Family Dismissal

[06:40 – 08:22]

• Wade recounts being repeatedly snubbed by James (Bob’s child), getting dismissed in favor of his wife, Molly.
  • “He looks up at Wade directly... regards him, and is like, ‘No.’ And walks away.” (Bob, 07:42)
  • Mark awards Wade a “pity point” for the snubbing.

4. Failures of Technology: Delivery Robots Gone Rogue & SORA Shutdown

[22:40 – 26:59]

• Robot Mayhem:
  • Mark brings up news of food delivery robots smashing through bus shelters rather than asking for help, prompting discussions about their actual robustness versus their cutesy design.
    • “Apparently have way higher torque than you could possibly imagine. Low speed, extreme torque.” (Mark, 25:04)
• Bob’s Good News:
  • The AI video generator SORA (by OpenAI) is shutting down due to unprofitability—reportedly $15 million a day running cost.
    • “I feel like that's generally a victory for humanities. Human. What's that word? Humanity.” (Bob, 32:04)
• Disney & AI Mishaps:
  • OpenAI’s rumored billion-dollar Disney deal collapses after the realization that AI + Disney IP = immediate generation of illicit “AI Dishub” content.
    • “The absolute first thing that someone typed in was something horrific with some Disney property.” (Bob, 33:18)
  • Mark and Wade joke about being sued by Disney for their comments (34:00).

5. International Oddities & Weird News

[35:07 – 50:11]

• Johannesburg Vote-Getting Gone Wild:
  • Wade relays the story of a South African mayoral candidate, who snorkeled in a water-leak-turned-pool on a city street to highlight neglected infrastructure.
    • “Vote for me...because where she went snorkeling was just like an average city street where they've had a water leak for years.” (Wade, 35:41)
• Penguins Causing Global Warming?
  • Bob jokes about a headline claiming king penguins in the Antarctic now have a 40% higher breeding success rate due to climate change—facetiously blaming penguins, not corporations.
    • “It's these penguins, guys. It's definitely not corporations.” (Bob, 39:47)
    • Jokes about “carpet bombing” the penguins follow.
• Japan’s Mysterious Growing Pipe:
  • Wade reports a 32-foot steel pipe unexpectedly rose from a construction site in Osaka overnight. The crew speculates wildly—immediately comparing it to a Mario pipe.
    • “A giant underground pipe rose 10 meters out of a construction site overnight...is this a big promotional stunt for Super Mario?” (Mark, 43:18)
• Wife-Carrying Race in Dorking, England:
  • Bob introduces the annual event. Discussion devolves into logistics: carrying methods, personal stamina, and the challenges for the women involved.
    • “It's not about aesthetics. It's about efficiency, Mark. It's inglorious.” (Bob, 47:58)

6. Miscellaneous Banter, Running Jokes & Inside References

[51:02 – 55:47]

• New Zealand Charity Mishap:
  • Two teens accidentally donate a bag full of weed, an air pistol, money, and a police scanner to a charity shop.
    • “Apparently if you're a dumb teenager, you can accidentally donate your gun and marijuana to charity.” (Wade, 51:12)
• Diving into Gun Laws and Air Rifles:
  • Short discussion on New Zealand’s strict gun laws and surprisingly powerful air rifles (“air tillery” joke).
• Callback Mania:
  • Classic Distractible tangents: mispronunciations (“holster” for elevator shaft), song allusions (Kate Bush, “Running Up That Hill”), Old Testament God as a podcast listener, social media for divorced dads (“r/divorcedads”).
  • “We need to print out—like little bible-sized constitutional pocket constitution.” (Mark, 62:37)

7. The Distractible Scoring & Winner’s Wheel

[54:55 – End]

• Point Tally Drama:
  • Mark tallies points for each host—pity points, negative points, all noted—resulting in a tie, leading to a wheel spin to determine the “winner.”
• Wheel Antics:
  • The first spin awards Wade for “made the judge make that face” (due to the snorkeling-in-poop-water story). Second spin lands on “most personal attacks,” discussed as either attacker (Bob) or attackee (Wade). Final ruling: another tie.
• “One Man Show” Fate:
  • Winner’s wheel lands on “one man show,” meaning the next solitary-format episode must be written and performed (primarily assigned to Mark and Bob’s dismay).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.” (Mark, 01:56)
• “That’s such a good name for an episode. We judge each other’s farts.” (Mark, 02:50)
• “My farmax failed. I’ll get them next time, boys.” (Mark, 03:52)
• “He looks up at Wade directly… regards him, and is like, ‘No.’ And walks away. Just fucking.” (Bob, 07:42)
• “She was very upset that I had any amount of body hair. I guess I was supposed to be an Olympic swimmer when I came in, but I wasn’t quite prepared.” (Wade, 13:38)
• “It’s just science… King penguins have figured out that causing climate change will, I mean, a 40% increase in sex. 40%!” (Bob, 39:35)
• “It’s these penguins, guys. It’s a serious issue, and I think we really need to address it. By which I mean, we should probably carpet bomb these penguins out of existence, and that'll probably solve all our problems.” (Bob, 40:02)
• “A giant underground pipe rose 10 meters out of a construction site overnight… is this a big promotional stunt for the Super Mario Galaxy movie?” (Mark, 43:18)
• “Do you know why it’s effective? Because where she went snorkeling was just like an average city street where they’ve had a water leak for years.” (Wade, 35:40)
• “We need to print out Bible—like little Bible-sized constitutional pocket constitution!” (Mark, 62:37)
• “Congratulations, guys. You somehow did it. I think you did it. You did it. You both did it.” (Mark, 62:48)

Tone & Style

The episode features Distractible’s signature blend of irreverence, quick wit, self-deprecation, and friendship. The trio poke fun at each other's misfortunes and intellectual lapses, debating topics both silly (fart challenges, penguin sex) and unexpectedly poignant (medical bureaucracy, spousal support). Their humor rides the line between juvenile and sharp, balancing crass jokes with clever asides and genuine warmth for one another.

Listener Takeaways

• Anything truly goes—no topic is too odd, gross, or meta for the Distractible crew, resulting in hilarious, unpredictable storytelling.
• The episode delivers classic Distractible chemistry: roast-your-friends, debate trivia, and make the mundane absurd.
• Even the random winner’s wheel is subject to their chaos, sealing the episode with a non-winning “one man show” fate for next week.

Additional Highlights & Timestamps

• [22:13] – Mark details his 20-hour flight to Thailand and immediate return.
• [25:43] – Discussion of college campus terrain vs. delivery robot viability.
• [29:01] – The game is “officially” on: Mark starts flipping for who shares their topic next.
• [47:03] – Discussion of fitness, stamina, and carrying wives in races.
• [54:00-end] – Scoring confusion, negative points, and the final fate sealed by the wheel.

This episode is a must-listen for fans craving the unpredictable energy, strange news, and rapid-fire riffing that define Distractible. Whether you come for the trivia, the banter, or the wheel, “Anything Goes” is Distractible distilled to its purest, funniest chaos.