Bob's One Man Show

Summary

Distractible Podcast: "Bob's One Man Show"

Date: September 19, 2025
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

In "Bob's One Man Show," the Distractible trio leans hard into absurdist improv and comedic challenges as Bob takes the (semi-)solo spotlight. Mark and Wade devise games, script ridiculous tasks, and rib Bob as he performs everything from animal impressions to rapid-fire sales pitches and even a verb-free retelling of the infamous "Bob's Fridge" story. The spirit of the show is all about offbeat friendship dynamics, playful humiliation, and the glorious chaos only three self-deprecating friends can deliver.

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. The Over-the-Top Intro & Scripted Instructions

[03:32–08:35]

• Bob is guided (harassed?) by a deliberately cumbersome script with meta-instructions to read everything—including parentheticals—aloud.
• He adopts silly personas: "Bob Milkynips," "Bl Lord Muncher," and is made to shout lines, slam the desk, and twirl like a ballerina at Mark and Wade’s command.
• The trio exclaims, laughs, and derails the sequence, with Mark noting, “You are the host, man. This is your show.” (08:34)

Memorable Quote:

• Bob: “Read all instructions in parentheses aloud.” (03:32)
• Mark: “We’re just here to tell you when you do it wrong. To yell at you, laugh at you, and make you suffer.” (08:37)

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2. Small Talk—Shattered Glass and Bad Shrimp

[09:16–11:10]

• Bob recounts shattering a glass full of magnets on his foot with chaos ensuing as his dog and baby return.
• Mark and Wade discuss trash day and the horrors of rotting seafood.
• Bob: “We ate as many as we could, but that some of them ended up going bad, and our whole... garage smelled so bad.” (10:53)

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3. "Guess That Animal" – Animal Impressions Game

[12:04–22:00]

• Bob must provide improvised animal noises from a list. Mark and Wade compete to guess (often hilariously failing, especially with bizarre names and extinct creatures).
• Mark, on Bob’s Quetzalcoatlus impression: “The ‘ow’ was clearly big leather wings. I see.” (17:13)
• Wade’s Scheme: “As soon as we had to guess, I was like, oh, no. I picked names that I thought he wouldn’t be able to pronounce. I didn’t want to have to do it.” (48:20)
• Bob’s surprisingly encyclopedic animal knowledge repeatedly foils Mark and Wade’s plans, flipping the game dynamic.

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4. Verb-Free Retelling: "Bob’s Fridge"

[24:41–27:28]

• Wade challenges Bob to describe his infamous fridge delivery fiasco without using any verbs.
• The result is hilariously minimalist, dominated by nouns and sound effects, with everyone in stitches over the absurdity.
• Bob: “Two guys, front door. Me, the...One guy. Oh, no. Oh, thank you. Side yard. You guys, fridge. Yeah.” (25:41–25:59)

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5. The D20 Sales Pitch Game

[28:03–34:00]

• Bob must sell random items using only as many words as he rolls on a D20 dice:
  • 4-word broom pitch: Bob: "Dirty floor here, dumbass." (28:43)
  • 13-word flip-flop pitch. (29:28)
  • 15-word aquarium pitch: Bob: “Where are you gonna keep those stupid fucking fish? Right inside this awesome aquarium.” (30:11)
  • Memorable condom pitch: “Who even wants babies?” (30:39)

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6. “Don’t Get Me Started” – Bob’s Spotify Rant

[34:28–38:44]

• Bob is asked to rant about Spotify, building from mild annoyance about the logo color to a full critique of AI-generated songs and the infamous shuffle feature:
  • Bob: “Green logo. Green. Really green. That's the green logo. Are you sure?” (35:07)
  • Bob, on shuffle: “Whoever programmed your shuffle feature, try again. Wrong. It’s not a shuffle. It’s just a predetermined order that it always plays in.” (37:17)
  • The supposed “rage” is playfully undercut by Bob’s actual disinterest, with Mark quipping, “It doesn’t have to be angry…” (38:00)

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7. Parental Absurdity: “Don’t Get Me Started on James”

[39:04–40:18]

• Bob mock-rants about his son James, who “insists” on loving him and attention-seeking (“one of these days that's gonna be enough shit in the pants”).
• Mark and Wade riff along, amplifying the absurd “parental exasperation” bit.

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8. The Unhinged Outro

[40:54–43:42]

• Mark scripts a deliberately over-the-top outro for Bob, making him perform musical bits (including the Black Eyed Peas and faux-driving crooner references), tweak his nipples, snap his fingers “like a cool jazz guy,” and heap (ironic) praise on Mark and Wade.
• Bob: “Tweak your nipples and sing Black Eyed Peas.” (41:04)
• The competitive banter peaks with tongue-in-cheek “winner/loser” speeches and jokes about podcast hosting succession.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Bob (to Mark and Wade, about the script):
  “I feel like you were trying to make me look stupid. And it’s really backfiring.” (17:09)

• Mark (on animal guessing):
  "The 'ow' was clearly big leather wings. I see." (17:13)

• Wade (on sales pitch game):
  "Dirty floor here, dumbass." (28:43)
  (became a running gag for the simplicity and aggression)

• Bob (on Spotify):
  "Shuffle. What a joke. Whoever programmed your shuffle feature, try again." (37:17)

• Bob (on his son James):
  "Listen here, mister, one of these days that's gonna be enough shit in the pants. I can't tell you when, but I'm just gonna snap and then there's gonna be no more poop in the pants." (39:28)

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Structure & Flow Highlights

00:00–03:17

Ads, banter, and meta-intro kicking off the "Bob’s One Man Show" premise.

03:32–08:35

Bob struggles (with glee) through absurd script directives, Mark and Wade heckle.

09:16–11:10

Small talk on domestic disasters: glass, magnets, and seafood gone wrong.

12:04–22:00

Extended animal impressions guessing game—chaotic, nerdy, and increasingly silly.

24:41–27:28

"Bob’s Fridge" reimagined with zero verbs, driven by Bob's game compliance and the others’ helpless laughter.

28:03–34:00

"D20 Sales Pitch" delivers rapid-fire, word-limited sales comedy.

34:28–38:44

Bob's intentionally underwhelming Spotify rant.

39:04–40:18

Mock-parenting rants and playful, escalating exasperation.

40:54–43:42

Over-the-top musical/comedic outro, capping off the “one man show.”

43:42–End

Scores tallied, next host crowned (Wade wins), and closing banter on the episode’s chaos.

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Takeaways for New Listeners

• Dynamic Friendship: All about competitive camaraderie, with Mark and Wade inventing ways for Bob to “suffer” as good friends do.
• Improvised Comedy: Much of the humor is spontaneous—impressions, sales pitches, and even following arbitrary “no verbs” rules are played for laughs.
• Playful Self-Deprecation: The trio never misses a chance to undercut their own (or each other’s) ego, authenticity, or podcasting prowess.
• Meta-Humor: The structure is self-referential—making jokes about scripts, hosting, and the very format of the podcast.

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Final Score & Outcome

• Bob: -10 (jokingly penalized)
• Mark: 8
• Wade: 10 (next episode host)

Closing Banter:
Mark and Wade both give mock winner/loser speeches.
Bob: "Wade's gonna host the next one because he won. Somehow." (49:09)

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For maximum enjoyment:
This episode is a must for fans of improvisational comedy, meta-podcast goofs, and anyone looking for an hour of cheerfully chaotic friendship.
Don't miss: Bob’s animal impressions, the verb-free fridge story, and the “don’t get me started” rant-turned-lovingly-absurd dad monologue.

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End of summary for “Bob’s One Man Show” (Distractible, Sep 19, 2025).

Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Bob]

What isn't smart?

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[Unknown Speaker C]

Don'T chew on that, Max.

[Wade]

Cooper loves that chew too.

[Unknown Speaker C]

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow, he is loving it. What do you feed Cooper?

[Wade]

Blue Buffalo Life Protection Formula.

[Bob]

He never leaves a crumb.

[Mark]

I love it because it's made with.

[Bob]

High quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and veggies, and wholesome whole grains.

[Unknown Speaker C]

Looks like we're switching to Blue Blue Buffalo. Foods are made with the superior ingredients your dog needs to thrive. Can your dog food say that? Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more.

[Mark]

This episode is brought to you by NOSS Energy. NOS Energy exists to boost your horsepower, so it depends on what kind of boost you need. Are you prepping for an exam? Are you prepping for a job interview? Are you prepping to wake up in the morning?

[Fishbok]

You a prepper?

[Bob]

Oh, I'm a big prepper.

[Wade]

If you want the high performance boost that tastes great, NOS Energy comes in a range of refreshing flavors. Original GT Grape and Sonic Sour and NOS Zero Sugar is, you guessed it, sugar free.

[Mark]

NOS Energy. Get after it. Find out more at drinknos.com that'S-R-I-N k n o s.com this episode of Distractable is presented by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay, how do you guys know when someone's really your friend?

[Bob]

I don't know.

[Wade]

I don't know.

[Bob]

But I do know That T mobile 5G home Internet's got your back. With their fast speeds, easy 15 minute setup, a price for a any budget and 5 year price guarantee. Visit t mobile.comhomeinternet to check availability guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply.

[Mark]

Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5D Internet data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks guarantee exclusions.

[Unknown Speaker G]

Details@t mobile.com Home Internet Good Evening gentle listeners or watchers and welcome to Distractable. This winky Wade small talks trash and mispronounces literally everything. Marvellous Mark devises and enforces this hilarious attempted humiliation ritual. That big brave Bob walks on glass and gives a tour de force by emphatically dancing through the trials of the Terror Twins from a frenzied intro to A Father's Love.

[Bob]

Yes.

[Unknown Speaker G]

It'S time for Bob's one man show. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[Bob]

Read all instructions in parentheses aloud.

[Fishbok]

Hello and welcome to Distractable.

[Bob]

My name is Bob Milkynips and I will be your host on today's episode. It's gonna be a fire one today filled to the brim with milk goodness from your favorite milky man.

[Fishbok]

Blorb Blorb. Ha.

[Bob]

Oh man, I must be sleepy or something.

[Fishbok]

Let me try that again. Hi there and welcome to Dickstractable. My name is Bl Lord Muncher and.

[Bob]

I'm gonna host you today.

[Fishbok]

Whoa, Epp, the alarm.

[Bob]

Iepy alarm. I didn't sleep so good.

[Fishbok]

What did the baby and all descend into?

[Bob]

1920S gangster accent? Yeah, a little. Wait, hang on. Do I know that accent? Little crime alert. That one Just. Just an unwanted boys. But if he tries to make a move on me's plural possessive, he's gonna.

[Fishbok]

Be sleepin with the fishes. And by fishes, I mean de stuffed fish toy I gave him for his turd birthday.

[Bob]

That hasn't happened yet. That was my own parenthetical.

[Fishbok]

Did somebody say turd? Welcome to the 8th of TURD member Tur Tember. Welcome to the 12th of Plungetember.

[Bob]

Alternative alternates for the right day to hit. Read all of them in sequence.

[Fishbok]

Welcome to the 15th of flushtember. Welcome to the 9th or 3rd accurate date read verbatim of pooptember. Welcome to the 22nd of DIA re Ember. I'm your host.

[Bob]

You should be out of the gangster.

[Fishbok]

Egg set by now, Big Bass Sassafras. And I'll be guiding you through my impeccable and topical one.

[Bob]

Man.

[Fishbok]

Wow.

[Bob]

Can you imagine the amount of work I put into making this something special for you? Please stand up and twirl like a ballerina. I had to read all this ahead of time. Slam both palms on your desk and act surprised. Make pog face. What's pog face? Give me an example. Okay.

[Fishbok]

Oh, my good gravy gracious.

[Bob]

I nearly forgot to tell you. This should be shouted. If you didn't shout it, please read again and shout. I shouted, right?

[Mark]

No, no.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Fishbok]

Oh, my good gravy gracious. I nearly forgot to tell you. Wow, wow, wow, wow. This is so exciting for me to deliver you this incredible news.

[Bob]

Clarity. On previous instruction, it was to read and then shout. If you went back to reread, but delivered the lines in a shouting manner, please go back and read each word individually with a scream of fear in between each word. If you somehow manage to do it as instructed, go back and do it anyway, starting with the palm slamming on the desk and a small bounce in between each word as you shout.

[Fishbok]

Oh, my good gravy gracious, I nearly forgot to tell you. You.

[Bob]

This part.

[Fishbok]

This should be shouted. This should be shouted. What? No, go on.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Fishbok]

Wow. Wow. This hall is exciting for me to deliver you this incredible news.

[Mark]

All right, you're clear of the shouting. You're good.

[Bob]

Okay. So that destruction's over? Yeah.

[Mark]

Yeah, it's over.

[Bob]

Okay. I'm joined by my good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. Friends Mark, Markiplier, Fishbok and Wade. He does have a real car that exists. Barnes, twirl and gesture elegantly to both of your co hosts. Bow reverently. Blow kisses. Clap your hands with glee and giddiness. Allow your overlords to introduce themselves. What was the next one?

[Mark]

Oh, man. Thank you, Bob. I hate to intrude on your one man show, but, Wade, I'm. I don't know if you caught that, but I think you missed a good.

[Wade]

I think there was a missed good.

[Mark]

I think there was.

[Bob]

I counted them with my fingers.

[Mark]

So I think he should go back to the top and take it run again. We'll just edit.

[Wade]

Oh, now, hold on. By Tom.

[Bob]

Read all instructions in parentheses, loud.

[Fishbok]

Hello and welcome to Distractable. My name is Bob Milky Nips.

[Mark]

And I will be.

[Bob]

Don't say things if you don't mean them.

[Wade]

You said top man. I don't know.

[Mark]

All right, we'll forgive you for that one. I mean, you know, we. We mess up these intros all the time, but I'm Mark.

[Wade]

Can you tell who wrote the intro?

[Bob]

Bob, I have a guess. I know which one of you uses words like reverently and Glee and giddiness. It was Amy, but yeah.

[Mark]

Wade.

[Wade]

Hey, man. Thank you for the great introduction. Appreciate that. Hopefully you got your. Your energy going. You're wide awake, ready to go.

[Bob]

I'm epi. Didn't you hear me?

[Wade]

Yes.

[Bob]

Sorry, am I not supposed to interject? Am I just supposed to sit quietly?

[Mark]

You're the host, man.

[Bob]

You are.

[Wade]

This is your show.

[Mark]

Your show.

[Wade]

We're just here to tell you when you do it wrong. To yell at you, laugh at you, and make you suffer. The rest is all you.

[Mark]

Well, anyway, we. We are all here to enjoy. All right? We're going to torture you.

[Bob]

I hadn't guessed that yet. That first part was all good fun.

[Mark]

It was. It was really, really great. The shouts of fear between each word was so much better than I imagined it to be.

[Wade]

I actually thought you might knock yourself out.

[Bob]

I am sweaty already, so that's a bad start.

[Mark]

That's good. That's good. Well, we can. We can let you relax, so. Why. I mean, usually we do small talk, so we. We could.

[Bob]

I shattered a glass on my foot right before this.

[Wade]

Just to feel something or.

[Bob]

No, just. Just to scare the. Out of myself. And then the dog and then the baby all came home all at once and we're all glass on the floor.

[Mark]

Stomp, stomp, stomp.

[Bob]

Don't put it in your mouth. Whatever.

[Wade]

That's fun. Was it at least empty? So that way there was a mess on top of mess.

[Bob]

I can't even explain why, but it was full of magnets, which didn't really cause any problems. It's just weird.

[Wade]

I have no further questions.

[Mark]

Yeah, why was the glass full of magnets?

[Bob]

Okay, Marcus, they were fridge magnets. But, like, they weren't on the fridge, but they were designed to go on the fridge, but that's where we keep them.

[Mark]

Oh, I have a little update. This. This arrived. This thing. Oh. But I haven't used it yet, so I have no idea if it's any good.

[Bob]

Okay. I thought you were about to absolutely blast them.

[Mark]

No, but I will. Don't worry.

[Bob]

Did you see They've made a couple tiktoks being really hyped up.

[Mark]

Yeah, they're jumping the gun a bit on whether or not I'll like this or not. Yeah, they're getting a little excited. I don't. Oh, yeah. This comes. This comes apart. That's fine.

[Bob]

It's.

[Mark]

I don't think that.

[Wade]

I can't hear you, so it sounds like you're just mumbling crazy to yourself.

[Mark]

It's because I'M so far away. I can't. All right. So, Wade, you got any news before we jump into this? Beautiful.

[Wade]

Yesterday was garbage night. That's it.

[Mark]

That's the most exciting thing in your life. All right, we'll save it for the next one.

[Bob]

You know, when you were over at the house last weekend and we had kind of too much food for everyone and we put out a big plate of shrimp and zero people ate any shrimp.

[Wade]

I remember seeing shrimp, but yeah, I.

[Bob]

Believe that shrimp makes garbage smell so fucking nasty.

[Wade]

Yeah, any seafood would.

[Bob]

Yeah, we like. We ate as many as we could, but that some of them ended up going bad. And our whole. For like a day and a half. Our whole fucking garage smelled so bad. Should have chucked him in the freezer or something. But I was like, ah, it's like trash day tomorrow or the next day or something, and just put them in the trash like an idiot.

[Wade]

We have similar issues with keters using potty pads. Turns out, cooped up in a humid hot garage does not smell great.

[Bob]

Yeah, you got to really bag that stuff up.

[Wade]

Yeah, even. Even bagged up. Just a little leakage.

[Bob]

Gotta. You gotta. You gotta really seal those or any single leak is a problem.

[Wade]

Yeah, that brand new car smells shifting real quick to something else.

[Mark]

Bob, you warmed up?

[Bob]

How could I not be?

[Mark]

All right, good. Welcome to Guess. What was the name of the other episode?

[Fishbok]

Guess that Animal.

[Bob]

Animal.

[Mark]

Guess. Guess the. Guess Animal.

[Bob]

It was your episode. What do you mean? What are you looking at us about? I can't remember.

[Mark]

I never know what their names. I have no idea what that was called.

[Bob]

I'm pretty sure it was called. What animal was that that you heard just now?

[Wade]

It was probably called like Bob meows at 22 minutes or something. It was probably something like that.

[Mark]

Well, anyway, so we didn't have time to source up any animal noises. So, Bob, you're going to be providing the animal noises.

[Bob]

Sure, sure.

[Mark]

Yeah. We're going to tell you what the animal was and if we guess what it is, we get a point.

[Bob]

I feel like you should know what it is if you're going to tell me what it is. Oh, do I get to pick whatever animals I want?

[Mark]

Yeah, why not? Unless. Wade, you had another way you wanted this going.

[Wade]

No, I mean, I had some stuff listed, but we can totally let him.

[Mark]

All right, Bob, here's how it's going to go. We're going to give you a list of these animals. You can't look them up, but we're sure that you know them. You're going to do an impression of those animals, we're going to have to guess which one it is, and whoever guesses will get a point.

[Wade]

Why is it spaced like this?

[Fishbok]

I'm formatting.

[Mark]

I literally said there's a bit of a formatting error. I'm going to fix it.

[Fishbok]

It's because a doc. What do you mean? You're looking at the same document I have.

[Wade]

What happened? What went wrong?

[Fishbok]

I was trying to fix it, but.

[Mark]

Then you were like, whoa, the documents.

[Bob]

How is this causing strife between you two?

[Wade]

Because I find it hilarious.

[Mark]

It's fine. It's fine. All right, Bob, are you ready?

[Bob]

Oh, yeah.

[Mark]

Oh, I'm going to kick your butt, Wade.

[Fishbok]

All right, don't tell us the name.

[Mark]

Of what it is. We'll guess.

[Bob]

All right. Yep, I got it in no particular order.

[Wade]

Oh, Mark, I got a guess for this one.

[Mark]

Oh, you got a guess. Damn.

[Bob]

That's it. That's the whole sound.

[Wade]

I think that's the sound. Are we just guessing now?

[Mark]

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

[Wade]

The Dickinsonia?

[Bob]

You wish.

[Mark]

It's the jagd terrier.

[Bob]

It's pronounced Yagtarrier, but no, it's not that.

[Wade]

Why do we have to be the ones who pronounce these? I picked some of these things to.

[Fishbok]

Make him pronounce them because he has.

[Mark]

To make the animal noises, man.

[Wade]

Do you want to make the animal noises? Oh, what a twist of events.

[Mark]

Now, come on, you can read these. All right.

[Wade]

X. Is that the one?

[Bob]

No. Here, let me do it again. Think, think. What sounds like this? Ow. Ow.

[Mark]

I know what it is. Ding buzz. Bamboo worms.

[Bob]

Yes. Thank you.

[Fishbok]

Yeah.

[Mark]

You're keeping track of points, right?

[Bob]

Me?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Mark]

All right. Wait. I'm gonna kick your butt this episode, apparently.

[Wade]

I. Man, how'd you. How'd you get.

[Bob]

What else sounds like that? That sounds like worms.

[Mark]

I mean it, Gossipu. You know, the fer de lance snake is like an embryo or something like that.

[Wade]

We'll wax you.

[Bob]

Do you guys have any points yet?

[Mark]

I do.

[Bob]

Yeah. Aside from the one, probably tons. All right, next one.

[Mark]

Could be anything.

[Wade]

That's your guess first. I went first last time.

[Mark]

It's got to be the fer de lance snake.

[Bob]

That is not what snakes sound like.

[Mark]

Damn.

[Wade]

The Pesquet parrot. Dracula parrot.

[Bob]

Pesque's parrot. No, it is not that.

[Mark]

Is it the red tailed cuckoo bumblebee?

[Bob]

Is that one animal?

[Mark]

No, that is.

[Bob]

It's not either of those. Or if that's one animal, it's definitely not that.

[Wade]

Been married for seven years. Is that Molly?

[Bob]

She's not on the list. Oh, she is on the list. Sometimes it's a hard to pronounce one. Do you want to. Yeah, do you want a clue? It's hard to pronounce.

[Mark]

Gomphotherium.

[Bob]

That's not hard to pronounce.

[Mark]

It's hard for me.

[Bob]

Gomphotherium. I'm sorry, what? Nope. Keep going. No, I don't know what you were saying. Keep trying.

[Mark]

Oh.

[Bob]

Cephalaspis. Cephalaspis. Oh, no, it's not that.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Mark]

It's a vestal cuckoo bumblebee.

[Bob]

No, but I like how many bumblebees there are on this list.

[Wade]

You said it's hard to pronounce Yorkie a poo.

[Bob]

Oh, Yorkie poo. The dog breed. Yorkie poo. Yeah. No, it's not that.

[Wade]

These impressions just aren't great. This makes this tough.

[Bob]

I feel like this is gonna be spot on when we check this one.

[Mark]

Ichadipties. No, no. Ah, damn.

[Bob]

No, it's two words.

[Mark]

Eared. Gravy.

[Wade]

Greeby. Grebe.

[Mark]

No, it's Hammond's flycatcher.

[Bob]

No, no.

[Mark]

Damn.

[Wade]

Szechuan taken. Tibetan taken. Two words. Just ones in parentheses.

[Bob]

Two sets of two words. No. You guys are really digging all the way down until it's gonna be the last one. That is two words.

[Mark]

I got it. I got it. It's a Quetzalcoatlus. No, no, that can't be it.

[Bob]

That is it. You guys are idiots.

[Mark]

Hey.

[Fishbok]

Whoa.

[Mark]

Hey.

[Bob]

It's the Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatlus northropi. It's a dinosaur bird. You know what Quetzalcoatlus is?

[Mark]

Wait, how did you know what that was?

[Fishbok]

Because I know what the fuck a Quetzalcoatlus is because it's a kind of dinosaur thing, and James likes dinosaurs.

[Wade]

I didn't know we had dinosaurs on this list. I'm not gonna lie.

[Mark]

I didn't either. I didn't actually look at what the animals were.

[Wade]

I didn't either. I just picked up fun names.

[Bob]

All right, well, that's.

[Mark]

To me. I'm.

[Bob]

I feel like you were trying to make me look stupid. And it's really backfiring.

[Wade]

This is a little.

[Mark]

I get it now. The was clearly big leather wings. I see. Yeah, well, you're gonna look like a fool when you do another impression. This is gonna look bad on you and not us.

[Wade]

We thought this one through.

[Fishbok]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Did we do this a little wrong?

[Wade]

We should make him guess his own impression. That doesn't make Sense. We should have warmed up.

[Bob]

I've got one. I've got one. You ready? You got your listening ears on? This one is spot on.

[Wade]

Is it my guess?

[Bob]

Yeah, it's your guess.

[Mark]

Yes.

[Wade]

Oh, man. I know what I think it is. It's gotta be a source.

[Bob]

Obviously, it's a source. Yes.

[Mark]

Thank you. It could have been a zonky.

[Wade]

It could have been.

[Mark]

Unless that goes. Zara, I don't want to ruin the. It's not my impressions. I apologize.

[Bob]

All right, well, I'm gonna cross that off the list now.

[Mark]

All right, that's good. There were two Z's anyway.

[Bob]

Let's see. I don't know that this one specifically makes a lot of noise, but I'm gonna try. Try and capture the soundscape of this animal.

[Mark]

It's a northern alligator lizard.

[Bob]

Point for Mark.

[Fishbok]

Yep.

[Mark]

Ah, see, I got that one because I got the. The big.

[Bob]

He's a chomper.

[Mark]

Yeah, if it had a Canadian accent, I feel like I would have. It would have gotten it faster, but close.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's fair. I don't know how you chomp with Canadian accent, but that's fine.

[Unknown Speaker G]

A.

[Bob]

A.

[Mark]

Best Canadian impression I've ever heard in my life.

[Bob]

Where do you keep your zebras? Eh, chomp?

[Mark]

I'm toast if I. If. If it's the best impression wheel I got.

[Bob]

Are you ready for this one?

[Mark]

Yeah, it's the.

[Bob]

But it's the physical and the. And the sound. Okay. It's the whole thing.

[Fishbok]

Never mind. I'll find someone else like you.

[Mark]

Oh, thank God.

[Wade]

It's my turn. Adele's penguin.

[Bob]

Yeah, it's Adele's penguin, obviously.

[Mark]

I mean, it's Adelaide's penguin.

[Bob]

Adele's penguin.

[Mark]

Yeah, for a one man show. I feel like it suddenly became on us, Wade.

[Wade]

Yeah, it really flipped. We did a terrible job at this.

[Bob]

You. You made you guys the guessers. Yeah, I'm nailing these. All right, Mark, I'll give you a softball.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Wade]

Oh, Mark. I know this one. It's the epic rap battles of history, guys.

[Mark]

All right. Okay. All right. Is it the Jad terrier?

[Bob]

No, man, I like where your head's at.

[Fishbok]

Oh, come on.

[Mark]

How is that not. Oh, I know what it is. Oh.

[Wade]

Oh, this is clearly the Yorkie poo.

[Bob]

That's correct, sir.

[Fishbok]

Oh, no.

[Mark]

My coinbase withdrawal code.

[Fishbok]

Someone's hacking into my crypto.

[Bob]

Oh, bro, you're so cooked right now.

[Mark]

I'm cooked. I'm cooked. Don't click on those texts, especially when you don't have one.

[Bob]

Yeah, since I don't use any crypto platforms at all. I find it really easy to avoid those scams, but all right. Oh, I know this one. I know this one. But small.

[Wade]

Oh, this is me first.

[Bob]

Yeah, but real small. Small. I know this won't help you at all, but there's a movie about this animal and the main character, which is this animal, is voiced by Lin Manuel Miranda.

[Wade]

Cephalosophis.

[Bob]

No, damn it.

[Mark]

Syphilis. Molly.

[Bob]

Dude, if there was a biopic about Molly voiced by Lin Manuel Manuel Miranda, I'd watch it. I'd even call it a biopic.

[Mark]

So was that wrong?

[Bob]

That's wrong.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Wade]

You into therium.

[Bob]

Oh.

[Mark]

Oh, okay. He's totally right.

[Bob]

How are you gonna make the noises before we're even guessing them? Right now it's just cheating out here.

[Wade]

Is that it? Is that the hook?

[Bob]

Damn it.

[Mark]

Is it Gomphotherium?

[Bob]

No.

[Wade]

Oh, Sichuan. Taken.

[Bob]

It's not Sichuan. Takeout? No. You want a hint?

[Mark]

No.

[Bob]

Hot on the trail. Why would you need a hint?

[Mark]

Yeah, exactly. It's gotta be Opabinia.

[Bob]

No.

[Mark]

Ah, fuck.

[Wade]

Kinky jowl.

[Fishbok]

Yes.

[Bob]

It's pronounced Kinkajou. Jesus Christ.

[Mark]

How is that small?

[Fishbok]

They're small. They're small.

[Bob]

They're like little purse monkeys.

[Fishbok]

They're tiny.

[Mark]

I don't even know what it is. How do you know these animals?

[Fishbok]

Because there's a child's movie about a Kinkajou that's voiced by Lin Manuel Miranda and it has some really.

[Bob]

Actually pretty good music in it.

[Mark]

I doubt that very much.

[Wade]

Miranda from Mass Effect. Von Strahovsky.

[Bob]

What's that called? It's not called Sony. It's by Sony Pictures. What's that called?

[Wade]

Naughty Dog. Ea. Oh, 20th Century Fox, Paramount.

[Bob]

It's called Vevo. His name is Vivo.

[Wade]

I'm so close.

[Announcer]

This episode is brought to you BY T Mobile 5G Home Internet. I'm sure everyone can agree with me when I say that nowadays everything in your house keeps getting smarter. Smart speakers, smart mirror, smart toaster, smart coffee maker, smart shoes, smart carpet. Everything.

[Bob]

What isn't smart?

[Announcer]

Luckily, t mobile 5G home Internet makes it easy to keep all your devices connected. With their quick one cord setup, you can hop online in literally 15 minutes or less. They've also got fast speeds, a price that works for any budget, and a five year price guarantee. So if you're looking for Internet that keeps up with you, connect to T Mobile Home Internet for their fast 5G speeds, easy 15 minute setup and 5 year price guarantee, visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check availability guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data. Exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factors affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions and details@t mobile.com Internet.

[Bob]

This episode is brought to you by Hershey's. When it comes to a sweet treat, I love a combo like those two flavors that just go together perfectly like a little party in your mouth. I think most people are with me on this, right? If you want the ultimate combo, I think you should give Hershey's Cookies and Cream a try. If you haven't had it, where have you been? Rich, smooth white cream packed with crunchy, chocolatey cookie bits in every bite. It's a delicious balance of flavor and texture. Hershey's Cookies and Cream. Creamy, crunchy, and all yours. Find Hershey's Cookies and Cream bars at.

[Announcer]

A store near you today.

[Wade]

This episode is brought to you by Uber. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you when you need it most? Yeah, we all need that sometimes. And Uber knows that Uber isn't just a ride or a meal delivered. It's showing up no matter what.

[Mark]

I think that might be them knocking on the door. And because they're, you know, Uber's really good about getting them right to where you are. To them or the FBI, I'm not 100% sure.

[Bob]

Yep.

[Wade]

When it really matters, whatever it is, you show up or there's a will. We're on our way. Uber on our way. Download the app today.

[Mark]

All right, well, I think. Wait. I think we should move on because we're getting.

[Wade]

I think we should move on immediately. Never happen. Editors make Mark and I look good during that part.

[Mark]

Yeah, exactly. All right, so, Wade, you introduce your next. Your next.

[Wade]

So one of the. The episodes of all time of Distractible was Bob's fridge. So we can't do a whole episode on it because this is one man show. We have other stuff to do. So I need you to do a super fast retelling of Bob's fridge, but without using any verbs.

[Bob]

Do I get a script or synopsis or anything?

[Mark]

No, no, no.

[Wade]

You get to have lived it and retell it from memory.

[Mark]

Yeah, but no verbs.

[Wade]

And what do you think, Mark? We should put, like, one minute on the clock for him.

[Mark]

Oh, you can have more than one minute. We can give him. It's a long story. You know, we'll. We'll just give him, like, if he runs on too long, like, it shouldn't last longer than three minutes, but we'll Give him some time.

[Bob]

No verbs. Is gonna be hard, but I think I can do it.

[Mark]

Maybe you got it.

[Bob]

Oh, hey. We're here to. Oh, hang on. Huh?

[Fishbok]

Right now?

[Bob]

Oh, never mind. I'll Got it. Yeah.

[Fishbok]

Oh.

[Mark]

O. Fridge.

[Bob]

Two guys, front door. Me, the.

[Fishbok]

One guy. Oh, no. Oh, thank you. Side yard. You guys, Fridge. Yeah.

[Bob]

Perfect.

[Fishbok]

And in the bush.

[Bob]

Inside.

[Mark]

The bush.

[Bob]

The bush.

[Fishbok]

The fridge.

[Bob]

The bush.

[Fishbok]

Oh, what's that? Oh, no. Water shut off.

[Bob]

That's a noun.

[Mark]

You're right. You're right, you're right. Okay, I got it. Okay, you're good.

[Fishbok]

New house. I don't know. Should be water shut off. Make this here. Sorry. Bush. Anyway.

[Bob]

Did I that part? Yeah.

[Fishbok]

Anyway, I don't think that's how you. Fridge. House. Right.

[Mark]

Thinks of herb, isn't it?

[Bob]

I think not when I do it.

[Mark]

Good answer.

[Bob]

Anger. One.

[Fishbok]

Acceptable. Two guys.

[Bob]

Fridge.

[Mark]

That was beautiful. Oh, man.

[Bob]

I don't remember what. Not that much actually happened. I was just so mad I kept talking about it.

[Mark]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's amazing what verbs will do to pad. Time out. That was. That was. Was good.

[Wade]

I think in the original, there was a lot of. It's your house. You got to know where this is now. Just call a previous homeowner.

[Bob]

Oh, that's right. Yeah. We're friends. We get dinner every Tuesday or something.

[Wade]

You know what, though? Beautiful retelling. I think everyone knows exactly what happened based on that retelling.

[Bob]

Do they?

[Mark]

All right, we've got another game for you here. It's one. One we've never done before. Wade just made it up right here on the spot. Do you have a D20?

[Bob]

Yeah, I got. I got one in here. Okay, I got one.

[Mark]

Can you roll that D20?

[Bob]

I did.

[Mark]

I want you, or we want you. Wade came up with this mostly, but we want you to give us a sales pitch on various things that we're going to offer up to you. And you only have as many words as you rolled to sell it to us.

[Bob]

That's deeply unfortunate.

[Wade]

What'd you roll?

[Bob]

Four.

[Wade]

All right, man.

[Bob]

I really considered rerolling that for.

[Mark]

No, no, it's perfect. Perfect. All right. Wait, you. You kicking it off?

[Wade]

Well, in four words, thanks to your roll. You need Mark and I to buy this broom?

[Bob]

Dirty floor here, dumbass.

[Mark]

All right. That's great, man. Yeah. Roll again.

[Bob]

Oh, I get to reroll. Thank God.

[Mark]

No, you get another thing.

[Bob]

Oh, 13.

[Mark]

Oh, 13. Okay. This will be great. Sell us on flip flops. In exactly 13 words for clarification, is.

[Bob]

Flip flop one word. It's hyphenated.

[Wade]

We'll count it as one word because it's the topic.

[Bob]

Yeah, I'm not selling you anything yet. This is not an attempt to sell.

[Wade]

I think flip flop counts as one word because it's the word that we're giving you.

[Bob]

Shoes too tight, Flip flop. It's hyphenated. Right? One word. Flip flop. Hyphenated.

[Mark]

Yeah, but you have 13 words.

[Bob]

Oh, I got the new number. Oh, shoes too tight.

[Fishbok]

Flip flop.

[Bob]

Good, because lots of space in flip flop.

[Fishbok]

All right.

[Bob]

I forgot I was doing four words again. I. Yeah, that was great.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Mark]

Lots of room in flip flop.

[Wade]

What a bold start. Where's it going from here?

[Mark]

It's the beauty of salesmanship. You just make it personable. You know, you're just like, all right, buddy. Yeah, you got it. Wait, wait, you got the next one.

[Wade]

Oh, yeah, man. I need another roll from you, Bob.

[Bob]

Fifteen.

[Wade]

That's too bad. That's too bad. Good for you. In 15 words or less, you need to sell us an aquarium. Not like a whole aquarium you go to, but like, you know, an aquarium. You keep all your fish.

[Bob]

Where are you gonna keep those stupid fucking fish? Right inside this awesome aquarium. I was 15. Didn't.

[Wade]

I'm at 14. What are you at, Mark? Buddy, buddy, buddy. All right, buddy. You got me.

[Mark]

All right. All right. Great. Excellent. Excellent, man. You're doing so good.

[Bob]

I got another four. Ooh, four words.

[Mark]

Sell me on condoms.

[Bob]

Who even wants babies?

[Mark]

All right, bye, bye. Bye.

[Bob]

Oh, come on. Seven.

[Mark]

Oh. Oh, what'd you do?

[Wade]

All right, in seven words, unfortunately, we're stealing three of them. Rasputin's preserved penis.

[Mark]

And if you don't know what this is, I can show you a picture.

[Fishbok]

World War I era penis for sale.

[Bob]

I don't know what that is. Is it actually a penis?

[Mark]

Okay, so it's. If you Google this, which I recommend everyone at home do. Rasputin's preserved penis. I won't share it for the sake of the editors, but everyone can go. Just Google that it is unconfirmed if it is at all real.

[Bob]

Why wouldn't it be real?

[Mark]

Some have said it's an animal penis of some type or some kind of amalgamation of something or another, but there it is.

[Wade]

I like that there's several women looking at it, like, oh, and there's one guy that's like.

[Mark]

By several women, you mean the picture of the same woman?

[Wade]

No, there's two. There's one on the top row for me, and then there's, like, the Blonde ladies like peering over the side.

[Mark]

That is the piece I do believe. Was Rasputin like doing his thing before World War I. But it's.

[Bob]

It's of the era, wasn't he. That wasn't at the start of World War I?

[Mark]

No, that's Franz Ferdinand.

[Bob]

Oh, close enough.

[Mark]

Rasputin was the. The advisor to one of the people in Russia.

[Bob]

1916, murder. World War I era.

[Mark]

I mean, I'm giving it to you.

[Wade]

He was assassinated. 1916.

[Mark]

All right, roll again.

[Bob]

18.

[Mark]

18. Well, it's almost too many. All right, braces.

[Bob]

Those crooked ass teeth ain't gonna fix themselves. Put some of this metal in there.

[Wade]

I got 18, I think.

[Mark]

Oh, God.

[Bob]

Crooked ass teeth ain't gonna fix themselves. 10. Put some of this metal in there. 8.

[Mark]

Put some this metal shit in there. That's only 7.

[Bob]

Some. Some of. I didn't say some as one word for me. I said some of this.

[Mark]

Okay, yes, absolutely.

[Bob]

If you give me one more word, I know what I'd add, pal.

[Wade]

Can't be done. We can give you another dice.

[Bob]

Roll two. Oh.

[Wade]

How do you feel about number nine for this?

[Mark]

Go for it.

[Wade]

In two words, you have to sell us a used kidney.

[Bob]

Still works.

[Fishbok]

I know.

[Mark]

I got a buddy that needs a kidney.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's the most valuable kind. Full, working kind.

[Mark]

Roll one more time.

[Bob]

13.

[Mark]

All right. You sold me a condom. I want you to sell me a used condom.

[Wade]

How many words? Thirteen.

[Mark]

Thirteen.

[Bob]

Yes, this is a used condom. Be not afraid. It still works.

[Mark]

Yes, this is a used condom.

[Bob]

Yes, this is a used condom. Be not afraid. Oh, that is 12, partner.

[Mark]

We've got a real nice one for you, Bob. A really good one to finish it off.

[Bob]

Am I rolling again?

[Mark]

No, no, no, no. We won this game. We won. Thank you, kind host, for giving us that game. And now what we need from you is the thing that everyone loves from Bob. The name Bob is synonymous with a rage fueled pirade that goes on and on and on and on. We're going back to don't get me started.

[Bob]

Oh, hooray.

[Mark]

Okay. And we only have one. We only have one suggestion for this.

[Wade]

We do.

[Mark]

Well, we'll see how the first one goes.

[Wade]

That's fair.

[Mark]

All right, Wade, do you want to give them the suggestion?

[Wade]

Nope.

[Mark]

I guess I'll do it. I want you to don't get me started on Spotify.

[Wade]

And we have to keep you in line.

[Mark]

Careful.

[Bob]

Don't even get me started on Spotify. Gonna ease into it.

[Wade]

Careful.

[Bob]

You're fine.

[Mark]

You're fine. You're Fine.

[Bob]

I have one low level gripe and a long list of high level gripes. We'll start with the low level one. Green logo. Green. Really green. That's the green logo. Are you sure? I said it was a low level gripe, but it's just ugly. Like, this is not. This is maybe personal taste. I not get too worked up about this, but they're really sticking to the green logo. If you look at the list of apps on your phone or your computer or wherever, you see a lot of other green shit in there. You see a lot of green popping up. Aesthetically pleasing green. No, you don't.

[Mark]

No.

[Bob]

Everyone's gone the other way. Green is a terrible choice. It's ugly. I hate it. Anyway, the working conditions.

[Mark]

Hang on.

[Bob]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Mark]

Okay.

[Bob]

No, I don't want to go down that path. I don't want to go down that path. The working conditions are fine. The working conditions are great. They're great. Everyone's really happy. But the residuals for artists, they're great. They make, they're fun. I've only heard good things. I've only heard good things. I'm pretty sure that I can't think of any notable artists who've had any gripes with Spotify. AI slop. Allegedly and probably false if we're honest with ourselves. There's just channels and channels of artists that are not real people. Allegedly, they are just AI generated slop. Allegedly. They sound almost indistinguishable from regular music. Except that also they're completely uncanny. Allegedly, they just randomly get worked in to whatever playlist you're listening to if it's on shuffle or auto, whatever the hell. Allegedly. That's some bullshit. And also allegedly. But. But Spotify, what else do they do? Oh, shuffle. What a joke. Whoever programmed your shuffle feature, try again. Wrong.

[Fishbok]

It's not a shuffle.

[Bob]

It's just a predetermined order that it always plays in. If you start the same playlist from.

[Fishbok]

The top of the list and hit shuffle, it always plays the same fucking songs. How do you even do that? That doesn't even make sense. Just use some input that's different every day. Like the time or the date or what. It's like they generated one random number.

[Bob]

And we're like, that's enough, seeds. Just use this one every time. Or what?

[Fishbok]

How does that happen? And why isn't it fixed?

[Bob]

This is tough, guys.

[Wade]

I love Spotify.

[Bob]

Have I talked recently about how much I love Spotify? Have I told you guys that?

[Wade]

Should we not even get you started?

[Mark]

It doesn't have to be angry. That's the thing. It is. Just don't even get me started on.

[Bob]

Three lines in the logo. Oh, if it wasn't green, I'd be there already.

[Fishbok]

Don't even get me started on Spotify.

[Bob]

They think they have competitors. Nobody competes with Spotify.

[Fishbok]

Well, what are those other music apps called? You don't even know because you never used them. You just put Spotify on there and that's the one you click on. You go use Spotify.

[Bob]

All the best artists who matter are on Spotify and any of them who aren't on Spotify are probably garbage. Honestly, I know it's controversial. I just don't have a lot of feelings about Spotify. I'm not gonna lie. I don't know how long you thought that was gonna go, but like their company, I think we all know how we feel about companies. They're the best.

[Wade]

Mark, what do we do next?

[Mark]

I'm writing his outro.

[Wade]

Hold on. Great.

[Bob]

Did you have another thing for me to rant about that was worse than Spotify?

[Wade]

Well.

[Mark]

Well, wait.

[Wade]

Yeah, there's another thing on the list. James knowing that he will definitely see this in a couple of years.

[Bob]

Don't even get me started on James. Oh, no, I don't think anyone would keep loving me endlessly and without any reason whatsoever they could possibly determine if I continued to shit my pants on a daily basis. I don't know why he thinks he's gonna keep getting away with it. Listen here, mister, one of these days that's gonna be enough shit in the pants. I can't tell you when, but I'm just gonna snap and then there's gonna be no more poop in the pants. And another thing, he always wants attention, you know, he's coming up to me like, dad, dad, look, dad, you're my hero. Dad, I love you so much.

[Fishbok]

Dad, dad, dad, dad, dad, take it easy, okay?

[Bob]

Calm down. Lots of people love me. I get it from all sides.

[Fishbok]

I don't need it when I get home from work.

[Bob]

Alright, just take a breath.

[Fishbok]

You got two parents.

[Bob]

I don't see you. Well, actually probably all over your mom more than you're on me.

[Fishbok]

But I don't see you all over.

[Bob]

The dog like you're all over me. And she's easy.

[Fishbok]

You drop food for her all the time accidentally.

[Bob]

Just give her some Cheerios and she'll let you do like whatever. She doesn't even care, man. I'm really trying to think of a third thing.

[Mark]

It's okay. Because we, I wrote here. Do you remember on Unisonis where I was going through Ethan's like maze and there was a bucket of fish and I was like, I'm not doing that. And he was like, that's okay. Boundaries are important. We wrote that.

[Wade]

It literally did.

[Fishbok]

That's fine.

[Mark]

That's right. I, I, I, I'm almost done with this. I have your outro. I think, I think we could close it up. This is beautiful. Ah, that was great, Bob. But I think it's time to wrap up this episode. I, I just don't take it away.

[Bob]

Oh my God. That's a lot of scrolling up. All right.

[Fishbok]

Oh Lord. Oh, Lou, what a show.

[Bob]

Through and through with vim and vigor and a big smile or two.

[Fishbok]

I am so pleased.

[Bob]

Please, I am so teased. Tweak your nipples and sing Black Eyed Peas.

[Fishbok]

Tonight's gonna be a good night. Tonight.

[Bob]

Can you see that? I was tweaking my nipples.

[Mark]

Yeah, I saw.

[Wade]

Oh, I thought you were commanding us. I didn't get this script.

[Fishbok]

Hehe. Chim chimini cheru.

[Bob]

Oh, long pause. I didn't realize.

[Wade]

Oh, thanks.

[Fishbok]

Oh yee. These two best friends of mine and.

[Bob]

Not vice versa, really showed incredible performance. Riff about Mark's performance while performing a 10 out of 10. Perfect driving crooner. What's that?

[Mark]

Don't know what a driving crooner is. Oh, this?

[Bob]

No. What is that?

[Mark]

It's a bit from that show, the guy that I think you should leave and it's okay. Wait, you can google it.

[Wade]

What the A driving crooner is either.

[Bob]

Is that the stickers on the window?

[Mark]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Okay, so it's like the fedora and the cigar stickers on the window and then you like.

[Mark]

Don't worry, the editors will put it there for you.

[Bob]

Okay. Editors driving cruder me. Is there a voice that goes with this or something? No, I don't know what this is. Oh, Mark, Mark, you did so great today. Must have earned five times as many points as Wade because of all the correct guessing and all of the good dice rolling you made me do. And all of the watching. Couldn't have been better. That might have been the best episode Mark's ever had.

[Mark]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Wade]

Low bar.

[Bob]

No, high bar. The top 10 performances on Distractible are now all. Mark, push Bob's fridge right off the 10 spot into the bottom of the barrel. Wayne only wishes he's ever had a top 10 spot.

[Wade]

But I thought this was a co hosting thing. Why is this so one sided of an outro?

[Bob]

This might as well be called Distractible and Friends. Starring, Featuring, presented by a markiplier or some such. Ah, but how could that compare to the other competitor? Oh, I didn't read any further beyond the one that. Okay, riff about Wade's performance while snapping your fingers like a cool jazz guy. You just fucking that one moment from filming in space. You just remember that one fucking thing, huh?

[Mark]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah, Wade. Bald, Funny.

[Announcer]

Correct.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. Wade, you're so groovy.

[Announcer]

You're so jazzy.

[Bob]

If peeing your pants is cool, I'd call you Wade Barnes. Cause you don't pee your pants, you just win.

[Announcer]

Distractible.

[Fishbok]

Anyway, how could I decide? God, how could you burden me with this responsibility? I am a mere mortal incapable of these monumental decisions. You raise me up. So I can stand on mountains. You raise me up. Ah, now something. You raise me up. Anyway.

[Bob]

Here'S the winners from the points.

[Mark]

I'm an Emmy losing writer.

[Wade]

No wonder Mark's been unable to sleep this week. He was working on this.

[Mark]

He's working on this.

[Wade]

So long. This episode is brought to you by FXX and Hulu. Boys. An all new season of Futurama's back.

[Bob]

Ah, they're back. I love this show. It's a great show. I'm excited for another season.

[Mark]

Anyway, the Planet Express crew is back. Defying gravity and common sense from the creator of The Simpsons. Come 10 new episodes where the romance is hotter, the threats are bigger and the action is harder.

[Bob]

Don't miss the all new season of Futurama. Watch it Mondays on FXF or stream it on Hulu. This episode is brought to you by McAfee. We all spend a lot of time online, obviously.

[Mark]

Yeah, we basically don't leave the Internet ever.

[Wade]

Gaming, shopping, working, living, breathing. Oh well, whatever you do online, you.

[Mark]

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[Wade]

Plans start at just $39.99 for your first year. Find out more at McAfee.com distractible cancel anytime terms apply.

[Bob]

Mark, you earned points for piss. Fuck. Fuck me. Shit. God damn it. And bamboo worms. Wade, you earned points for it's just.

[Announcer]

A bunch of fucks.

[Bob]

Mostly the final score being Bob with negative 10. I just sort of threw that in. I assumed that'd be where that was coming from based on the script. Mark with seven and Wade with 10.

[Fishbok]

Oh, shit.

[Wade]

I knew it. I knew it.

[Mark]

Oh my God. There's no way this could be a tie again. And it land on another one man show.

[Bob]

Fucking better not.

[Fishbok]

That would.

[Bob]

You know what, though? Based off the coin flip and all the bad luck I've ever had and everything, that would be.

[Wade]

What if we just make the final score 11, 10, 9, and really tempt the face.

[Bob]

I'm the host, but you are the scriptures, the creators. How many bonus pins will there be?

[Mark]

Oh, I still. I could. I could have a chance here. I could have a chance. It's two. Two for all the listeners.

[Bob]

What am I adding to the bonus wheel? Oh, overlords.

[Mark]

Oh, add. Add a percent to the tie wheel.

[Bob]

How. How much percentage?

[Wade]

3.

[Bob]

20.

[Mark]

Add 20. I mean, I guess it is. Add 10. Let's say add 10% to and that's 10% of the whole pie.

[Bob]

Add 10% to the one man show.

[Mark]

Yeah. 10 chance. No way that'll come up.

[Wade]

I know what I'm heading when I get a chance. Subtract 30% from one man show.

[Bob]

One man show no longer exists. All right, two spins.

[Wade]

I don't want to host that.

[Bob]

Oh, lipo points don't count. Oh, we didn't have any lies. I don't think this time. So respin. I suppose. Fastest response.

[Mark]

I mean, I had some pretty quick ones on the animal noises.

[Bob]

One of you guys guessed the animal first try once or twice.

[Mark]

That was me. I did that. I did that. Yeah. I think. I think I get this. I think I get this. I think I get it.

[Wade]

I got zorse. But I think Mark said when I got like the moment you stopped, they just spouted one out. I think so, yeah.

[Bob]

All right, Point to Mark. Excellent. Excellent. One more spin. What could possibly go wrong on sudden death? It's a tie.

[Mark]

Oh, give that to you, Bob. Give it to yourself.

[Bob]

All right, well, plus one for me. Yeah. Wow. That's not how you spell either of those words. Anyway, that makes the final score mark with 8 and Wade with 10. Which means Wade gets to host the next one.

[Wade]

Hold on, Bob.

[Mark]

That was great. I mean, I had a great time. I had a great time. I had a really good time.

[Bob]

I need a nap.

[Mark]

I wanted to give people a taste of, like, when Tyler and Ethan scripted me my one man show. I just wanted to get that in there. I don't know how you turn the animal noises around on us, but that really did flip.

[Wade]

As soon as we had to guess, I was like, oh, no. I picked names that I thought he wouldn't be able to pronounce. I didn't want to have to do it.

[Bob]

I actually knew a Lot of those animals. I was pretty surprised.

[Wade]

Speed retelling of Bob's fridge with no verbs was.

[Bob]

Mark, loser speech.

[Mark]

You know, I. I may have lost, but I don't feel like a loser. I think everybody won today, even though I actually lost. And. Yeah, I mean, I can see that. I was literally typing the outro as we were in the episode. So I can see that.

[Fishbok]

That.

[Mark]

I can see that. I can see it.

[Bob]

Wade, winner speech.

[Wade]

Don't know how we got here. Don't know how I ended up on top, but I'm glad to be here. Bald, winning. Life's good. Remember to take out the trash. All the important things in life are just going my way.

[Bob]

Just both of those. All of the important things.

[Announcer]

That's.

[Bob]

That's it.

[Wade]

Winning, bald and trash. I think that's in, like, the Declaration of Independence even.

[Bob]

I remember the Nicholas Cage movie. I actually need a nap. But that's the end of the episode. Wade's gonna host the next one because he won. Somehow. I didn't write any of your animals down. I was so impressed when you got the bamboo worms, Mark. I was really proud.

[Mark]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Bob]

That. That. That might have been worth four points. Might have been too late to find out. Viewers, Listeners, make sure you follow the podcast so that you know when episodes come out. It'll give you notifications, make you follow Mark, Wade, and myself on our other social platforms and stuff. Anyway, that's the episode. Wade, host the next one already.

[Wade]

Okay.

[Bob]

Until then, podcast out.

[Mark]

Hey, everyone.

[Wade]

Welcome to another episode of. Oh, Not. Not yet.

[Bob]

This episode is brought to you by Degree. Degree is for the hustlers who put in the sweat, which we know a thing or two about.

[Mark]

For 35 years, 11 months, 28 days and 6 hours, I didn't believe in deodorant. But then Degree came along.

[Bob]

As you can relate to three relatable guys like us, Degree advance has you covered with up to 72 hour sweat and odor protection. Degree here for sweat Buy now.

[Wade]

This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fusions, the newest drop from Welch's Fruit snacks. We've got to warn you about the consequences of eating Welch's Fusions. It's like three dudes hanging out on a rooftop talking about the future.

[Mark]

Three dudes hanging out on a rooftop installing solar panels to provide a sustainable future.

[Bob]

Three dudes on a roof installing solar panels so that they can power their computers and record their brilliant idea for a podcast.

[Mark]

Pretty awesome consequences if you ask me. New Welch's Fusions are so good. Each one is a combination of two fruity flavors in one juicy bite. One flavor on the outside, another on the inside.

[Wade]

It's an unbelievable taste sensation. So they are recommended for experienced taste buds only. You've been warned. New Welch's Fusions. Please use responsibly.