Distractible – "Bob’s Top 5 (#2 Will Shock You!)"

Date: November 14, 2025
Hosts: Bob Muyskens (host), Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes

Episode Overview

In this lively and unpredictable episode, Bob takes over hosting duties with a deceptively simple game centered on “fun facts” — but, as always on Distractible, chaos quickly ensues. Mark and Wade compete to best match Bob’s personal ranking of five hand-picked, quirky science facts. Along the way, the trio share stories about grief, nostalgia, multiplayer betrayals, and the ongoing absurdity of their podcast’s game rules and scoring system. A constitutional crisis (of podcast rules) emerges by episode’s end, resulting in the listeners themselves being declared the winner — with everyone else joyously roasting each other in the process.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Catch-up: Life Updates and Nostalgia

• Mark reflects on the anniversary of Unus Annus and the recent loss of his beloved dog, Henry.
  • “This week is also the fifth anniversary of Unus Annus.” (05:40)
  • Mark shares how Chica (his dog) and Henry were part of his life for nearly a decade, expressing the emotional impact.
• Wade is surprised to realize Mark and Amy have been together for a decade.
  • “The fact that you and Amy have been together for a decade blew my mind.” (07:57)

2. Videogames, Friendships & Betrayal Stories (Arc Raiders)

• The hosts discuss recent multiplayer experiences, focusing on Arc Raiders.
  • Wade recounts tense standoffs and betrayals in the game’s “olive grove,” emphasizing the unpredictable mix of friendliness and treachery in PvP (Player vs. Player) interactions.

    “One guy runs over to us... he’s like, ‘Hey, those people over there, do not trust that group. They said they were cool, and then they weren’t.’” (13:01)

  • Memorable moment:
    • Wade narrates the saga of a conniving player trying (and failing) to turn other teams against Wade’s group by lying about an attempted betrayal. The other players side with Wade, leaving the liar to die alone:

      “He was selling so hard every story, and no one believed him... then he just died. And we kept looting our olives.” (14:38)

3. Bob’s Game: Rank the Fun Facts

• Game Structure:
  • Bob handpicks five “fun science facts” and secretly ranks them 1 through 5 by personal interest. Mark and Wade must attempt to guess his order; points are (pseudo)scientifically awarded based on how closely they match his choices.
• The Five Facts:
  • 1. A rainbow on Venus is called a ‘glory’ (17:03)
  • 2. Neon tetra fish form orderly queues to escape emergencies (19:55)
  • 3. Water might not be wet from a scientific perspective (21:15)
  • 4. Giraffes are 30 times more likely than humans to be struck by lightning (24:01)
  • 5. The average color of the universe is ‘cosmic latte’ (28:39)
• The hosts riff, banter, and digress on each fact, debating the merits and the absurdity of each (see “Notable Quotes” below).

4. Ranking Reveal & Scoring Chaos

• Each host reveals their list and justifies their rankings:
  • Wade’s top pick: Venus glory hole (“You guys will never guess — the Venus glory hole.” 32:15)
  • Mark’s top pick: Fish forming orderly queues, fascinated by the research setup.
• Bob’s actual ranking:
  1. Cosmic latte
  2. Fish forming queues
  3. Giraffes/lightning
  4. Venus glory
  5. Water isn’t wet
  • Mark and Wade’s lists both diverge from Bob’s, leading to a complicated, point-subtraction-based score.
  • This lands Wade with 0 points, Mark with -1, and the listeners (via the wheel spin) with 1.

5. Spinning the Wheel of Chaos

• To add more unpredictability, three bonus “wheel” spins are conducted:
  • 1. “Monkey’s paw curls” — something bad happens, no effect on the game. (40:03)
  • 2. “Point for listeners” — suddenly, the listeners take the lead. (40:45)
  • 3. “Most callbacks” — Mark is given a point for callbacks, but not enough to win.
• Constitutional crisis: Bob is forced to admit that, since listeners can’t give a winner’s speech, Wade (as the "vice president of losing") must host the next episode anyway — but the episode is officially recorded as a “listener victory.” (42:12–43:12)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• Mark, reflecting on Unus Annus and Henry:

  “You never know how it was gonna be, and then we’re just gotta plow through no matter what.” (05:59)

• Wade on Arc Raiders PvP Betrayal:

  “He was selling so hard every story, and no one believed him... then he just died. And we kept looting our olives.” (14:38)

• Bob, introducing his game:

  “I found this list, and almost none of them blew my mind. But I did find five fun facts I thought were interesting enough that I was like, ‘Cool.’” (15:54)

• Bob, on water not being wet (“the worst fact”):

  “It’s a fun fact—wait, it’s a philosophical discussion, but a bad one.” (23:43)

• Mark, on the average color of the universe:

  “Who cares?... I’ve called you all to this meeting to declare—[everyone leaves, not even a clap].” (32:39, 33:01)

• Wheel spin causes listeners to win:

  Bob: “I hereby grant the listeners a win... that win will be documented for posterity, and their title as winner of this episode is immediately vacated…” (42:03)

• Wade’s mock winner’s speech for the listeners:

  “Any viewers who disagree with this win can suck it because they’ve never won. So yay to us, the listeners.” (45:52)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 05:40 – Mark discusses Unus Annus anniversary and Henry’s passing
• 09:10 – Call of Duty joke & new games chatter
• 13:01–14:40 – Wade tells the Arc Raiders “olive grove” betrayal story
• 15:54 – Bob introduces game: ranking fun facts
• 17:03–31:05 – Bob presents the five fun facts
• 32:15–34:53 – Mark and Wade give their rankings
• 36:42–38:56 – Bob reveals scores and scoring system
• 40:03–41:07 – The Wheel spins, listeners surge ahead
• 42:03–43:12 – Listeners declared winner, rules crisis
• 45:09–45:52 – Wade delivers the listeners’ “winner” speech
• 46:20–47:43 – Bob closes the episode, admits to the “constitutional crisis”

Tone & Language

• Playfully combative and irreverent. The trio riff off each other’s comments, feigning outrage and celebrating their own logic (however nonsensical).
• Casual, self-deprecating banter. Frequent in-jokes about rules, points, and recurring podcast bits.
• Fans will recognize the signature Distractible style: structured chaos, rapid-fire digressions, random wheel spins, and an ongoing meta-commentary on their own (often arbitrary) rules.

Episode Takeaways

• The episode is a classic embodiment of Distractible chaos: a simple game derails into an earnest debate about rainbows, fish evacuation etiquette, and cosmic colors; a wheel of fortune accidentally transfers podcast control to the listeners.
• Memorable moments include the story of betrayal in Arc Raiders, the hosts’ creative exasperation with the “water isn’t wet” debate, and the hilariously nonsensical constitutional crisis over winner selection.
• If you want a glimpse into the playful, nerdy, and meta-humor that makes Distractible unique, this is an excellent episode.