Dicebreakers Too!

Summary

Distractible Podcast: "Dicebreakers Too!"

Date: March 16, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, and Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

In "Dicebreakers Too!", the Distractible trio returns to chaotic, competitive form, reimagining their earlier “dicebreaker” episode with not-so-serious rules, unfiltered banter, and the signature use of arbitrary points. Prompted by Bob, each host answers icebreaker questions—with the flavor and specificity of their answer determined by a secret D20 roll. The main episode is packed with fun tangents: Mark’s mysterious Oscars moment, learning Korean, bakery adventures, 3D printing technology, and creative attempts to “clue” dice rolls through answers. It’s a game that defies sense, a showcase of playful miscommunication, and a countdown to the season finale faceoff.

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Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Small Talk & Life Updates

[03:13 – 19:20]

• Mark at the Oscars: Mark claims by episode air date he’s already experienced a “horribly embarrassing” Oscars moment, all of which he insists was intentional. Arms, legs, and head movement controversy ensues.
  • “I don’t care what people think. That was all me, 100% intended.” – Mark [03:43]
• Language Learning: Mark’s back to learning Korean using Kimchi Reader—a Chrome extension optimized for Korean content with idiom and slang support.
  • “None of them really work perfectly for Korean ... This one is purpose-built just for Korean.” – Mark [05:22]
• Walking & Chocolate Milk: Wade is rekindling his daily walks, though busy schedules impede progress. His beverage of choice? A massive 30oz Dutch Bros cup of chocolate milk.
• 3D Printer Enthusiasm: Bob introduces himself as a “3D printer guy,” detailing weekend-long print projects—parts for his own printer and a bridge piece for his son’s train set.
  • “I love when you get a thing and then you make things for the thing with the thing to improve the thing.” – Bob [11:36]
• Cutting Edge Printing: Mark and Wade riff about the latest in 3D tech, including UV-cured, holographic resin printing—printing a full 3D object at once, “in 10 seconds.”
• Bakery Discovery: Wade’s latest culinary adventure is at “Tous Les Jours”, a French-Asian bakery specializing in “strawberry cloud cake” and wax paper tray-liner culture.
  • “You grab a tray… some tongs…and you actually put the stuff you want on your tray.” – Wade [16:15]

Notable Quotes:

• “Every time I’ve stood up, my head has gone out of camera.” – Mark [08:18]
• “If I could just have any consistency in my life ever. I’d be such a good human.” – Mark [10:58]
• “I hitchhike. It’s not walking distance.” – Wade [16:28]

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2. Major Announcement: End of Spotify Deal

[18:06 – 19:20]

• The hosts break into a mock-dramatic intermission: their exclusive deal with Spotify has ended. No show cancellation, but they’re going down to one episode a week for a while—allowing Mark time for a honeymoon and the group more flexibility.
  • “Now that we’re no long in that deal, we are wandering free and alone and lost like little lambs, and we have no home and we have no peace.” – Mark [18:09]
  • “We will be back.” – Bob [19:00]

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3. Dicebreakers Game — The Rematch

[19:20 – 54:00]

Premise & Rules:

• Bob asks each co-host a classic icebreaker question.
• Mark and Wade answer each question at the “level” of their secret dice roll (D20): a low number means a bad/dull answer, a high number means a great/enthusiastic answer.
• Their challenge: shape answers so Bob can guess their roll.
• Points are awarded for Bob’s correct or close guesses, lost if he’s way off.

Game Flow and Moments:

• [24:15] Name Change – Wade gives a “thoughtful” but generic answer, meant to signal a high roll. Mark tries to decipher the level.
  • “Call me Rocky Boa Constrictor, because I’m ready.” – Wade [03:13]
• [27:06] Obsolete Item – Mark: “walkers for old people… the big ones.” He slyly ties his answer (4 legs) to his dice roll.
• [30:18] Pizza Shape – Wade picks “round” over “square” in the blandest way possible, aiming for mid-range.
• [32:12] Mario Kart Character – Mark chooses “Luigi,” making cryptic connections between character and number (number of I’s, not #1, etc.)
• [35:44] Weirdest Bedside Item – Wade: frogs, vines, and thirst, spiraling into surreal imagery signaling a low roll.
  • “Sometimes you just gotta … the frog vine. And then all of a sudden, it’s sunny.” – Wade [36:00] (nonsense taken as a low roll clue)
• [37:26] First Thing Noticed in a Person – Mark simply says: “Face.” Literalness as a game clue.
• [41:07] Corniest Pickup Line – Wade: “Tomorrow. I love you.” Mark uses tomorrow = two tens = 20 logic; turns out to be a mischievous 3.
  • “You know the classic pickup line. Tomorrow, tomorrow. I love you.” – Wade [47:38]
• [43:23] Ideal Birthday – Mark rambles about birthdays, proposals, and TV shows (“the show about killing yourself”)—with the true answer being 13, referencing “13 Reasons Why.”
  • “Birthday. Birthday. Birthday. Birthday. You know, I wasn’t one for birthday parties…” – Mark [43:30]
• Widespread misunderstanding ensues, with Mark and Wade leaving increasingly obscure clues and Bob guessing wildly.

Running Gags & Highlights:

• Cryptic Clues: Mark tries to drop subtle number clues for Bob (“walkers… big ones… four legs!” [29:13]). Wade stirs chaos by refusing to stick to the logic of the game.
• Meta-Commentary: The hosts repeatedly marvel at their own inability to guess correctly, with Mark openly questioning, “How obvious are we supposed to make these things?”
• Absurd Reasoning: Attempting to assign meaning to word counts, roman numerals in “Luigi”, or the possible number of orifices on a face.
  • “He smashed Birdo. That made sense.” – Bob [33:46]
• Descent into Madness: Bob’s “book of points” is “not at all going to be a documentation of my slow descent into madness.” [01:50]

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4. Scoring, Wheel Spins, and Season Context

[48:12 – End]

• Recap of points, with arbitrary additions/subtractions for small talk performance, short jokes, “will to live,” and other categories.
• Extended confusion over who’s actually winning and how, with Bob and Mark dissecting the “wheel spins” system.
• Season Stakes: The hosts realize that Mark and Bob are tied for total season wins, while Wade holds a points advantage from wheel spins. The next episode, with Wade as host, will be the season champion decider.
  • “This next one that Wade hosts is kind of like the 1v1 faceoff for champion of season 5.” – Bob [57:04]

Final Scores & Winner:

• Wade: 4 points (win)
• Mark: 2 points

Notable Quotes:

• “I love whenever I laugh to the point of physical tears.” – Wade [47:16]
• “I just want to know how many people go out to the bars and they try ‘tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you’ as a pick up line and have success.” – Wade [49:56]
• “We should probably, you know, kill it before it gets any wilder.” – Mark [50:20]

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5. Memorable Closing Moments

[55:08+]

• Mark’s Acceptance Speech: A tongue-in-cheek lament over never winning the Streamy for Gamer of the Year, drawing a parallel to his in-podcast losing streak.
  • “Sometimes, if I don’t win the year of the year thing, I will flip the ultimate unfair coin.” – Mark [55:14]
• Wade’s Winner Speech: An anticlimactic ode: “I hate this game.” [56:14]
• Season Stats Recap: They dig into subreddit user-supplied leaderboards, realizing the next episode is the true faceoff.

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• Mark (Oscars):
  “I did that intentionally. I don’t care what people think. That was all me, 100% intended.” [03:43]
• Mark (Language learning app):
  “Kimchi Reader is great because ... it can parse the words better. It has better dictionaries for the idioms and the slang.” [05:22]
• Bob (3D printing):
  “I love when you get a thing and then you make things for the thing with the thing to improve the thing.” [11:36]
• Wade (Bakery):
  “You grab a tray… you grab some tongs and you actually put the stuff you want on your tray.” [16:15]
• Mark (Wheel of Points):
  “As the judge, you’re correct at all times.” [48:12]
• Wade (Pickup line):
  “Tomorrow, tomorrow. I love you.” [47:38]
• Mark (Why am I still here?):
  “I don’t know. God. To take me away from this place.” [37:05]

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Important Timestamps

• Small Talk Banter & Oscars Story: [03:13 – 06:45]
• Technology Tangents (3D Printing): [11:36 – 13:55]
• Bakery Chat: [14:29 – 16:28]
• Spotify Deal Announcement: [18:06 – 19:20]
• Dicebreakers Game Begins: [24:15]
• Notable Surreal Answers (Frogs & Vines): [35:44]
• Birthday Ramble/‘13 Reasons Why’ Clue: [43:23]
• Winner & Season Stakes Discussion: [54:00 – End]

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Tone and Style

• Loose, spontaneous conversational style—full of comedic asides, invented logic, playful bullying, and absurd reasoning.
• Game answers shift from straightforward to cryptic, with increasing self-referentiality and exasperation.
• Blunt self-awareness of the nonsense inherent in their scoring and gameplay.

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Summary for New Listeners

"Distractible: Dicebreakers Too!" is a quintessential display of the podcast’s whimsical spirit. Mark, Wade, and Bob engage in deranged “competitive” banter around icebreaker questions, with D20 dice dictating the flavor of each response and almost no connection between clues and guesses. Expect tech rabbit holes, bakery recommendations, tales of personal growth (or regression), and a game format destined to collapse under its own rules. The culmination: The stakes are high as Mark and Bob head into a final faceoff, courtesy of Wade’s win—poised to decide the champion of the season. If you want to witness chaos, friendship, and number-based nonsense, this is the episode for you.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

So if you've been living in the

[A]

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[B]

Hello and welcome back to another episode of your favorite podcast. It better be your favorite podcast. I don't want to hear any shit about you listening to any other podcast. This is the only one. We are the only one for your ears and your eyes. And if we're not for your eyes, I don't know what to do with you. I have nothing to tell you. I have nothing for you. Welcome back. That's right, it's Distractible. Everyone knows from these intros which podcast I'm talking about. It's always obvious. It's always self evident. If you've never seen the show before. I'm hosting because I won the last one and I have my other two co hosts here who are going to be competing to win this one and then they'll host the next one. I give them points and I write them down in a book that totally makes sense and is not at all going to be a documentation of my slow descent into madness. Anyway, my name's Bob. I'll be your host and I'm joined as always by my competitors, Mark and Wade.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Yeah. Woo.

[A]

Yeah, I'm ready to win.

[B]

Are you doing, like, boxing stuff, Wade, or what is that?

[C]

Oh, yeah. I'm big into it.

[B]

You seem like you know what you're doing.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

And Mark was already triumphant. And let's be honest, I'm heavily biased towards Mark, so he's got a great shot today. I'm going to give you a bias point, Mark.

[A]

Yes. All right. Didn't even have to pay for that one. I like being the underdog, Wade.

[B]

I'm going to give you minus one underdog point just to really spice it up a little bit.

[C]

Excellent. Call me Rocky Boa Constrictor, because I'm ready.

[B]

Anyway, I have an episode prepared for today, as per usual. But before we do that, we always do small talk. How you doing?

[A]

Oh, man, is so good. There's so many things happening.

[B]

Good. Wade, how are you?

[C]

It's been not great. It's been not great. But, you know, we're getting through it.

[B]

All right. Back to Mark. Back to Mark.

[A]

We can't have any of that now.

[B]

Tell us about the good things are happening. No, no, no. Yeah. I'm not here for that. I'm not here for that.

[A]

By the time that this episode comes out, I will have been at the Oscars. And that horribly embarrassing thing that happened to me. Occ. No, honestly, I'm just gonna own it. I did that intentionally. I don't care what people think. That was all me, 100% intended. There might be people that say they represent me, that say that I didn't know what I was saying in those moments or what I was doing with my arms and legs and head and whatnot. Intentional. I meant it, and I meant everything I did.

[C]

Justin Timberlake's gonna reveal his nipple. But that was a Super bowl halftime show on Oscars.

[A]

Yeah. And this has already happened. It's not that I'm going to do something. This has already occurred.

[B]

He's going to have had revealed his nipple.

[C]

Oh, yeah. But I'm always a week behind, so I'll watch it week and.

[B]

I can't believe you pulled that outfit off.

[A]

Thank you. It was tough.

[B]

Very stylish.

[C]

It was great being there by your side. Thanks for making me your plus one.

[A]

Damn it. He's really affecting the time stream now.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

He went from not knowing what's going on to knowing exactly how to exploit it.

[B]

Wait, our timeline.

[C]

I had forgotten my memory so bad.

[A]

In other news, I've had more time to get back into learning Korean. I've started doing that. There's a Cool app that I'm going to shout out that I'm. I might regret because you never know when the these apps and companies can turn into horrible cesspools like Duolingo. You know, really, really, really tanked everything they had. Well, not really. I think they're still, you know, number one app, but, you know, they won't be anyway. Kimchi Reader, the website for it is like Kimchi Dash Reader. And so Kimchi Reader is great because it does exactly what I was doing with the other ones. Not sponsored. I don't think that they have enough money to sponsor because they got like nine reviews on, on the Chrome extension store.

[C]

They can't afford us.

[A]

Well, they couldn't afford me, that's for sure. Anyway, by ext us, it's great because there's a lot of apps that allow you to watch Netflix and it can parse the words and it can show a language list, but none of them really work perfectly for Korean. And this one is purpose built just for Korean, right? So it can parse the words better. It has better dictionaries for the idioms and the slang. And so when I'm using it, I actually find myself really going through marking the words that I have a saving out sentences, which is where I need to be for learning because I'm past the point of just doing vocab, whereas I can kind of have a general understanding if I'm hearing it. But now I need to really understand the nuances of it and the different variations that they use the words in because there's all kinds of colloquialisms in any language. And so that you can have the same words that mean something and then the translation will be something completely different that you wouldn't expect. But in context it makes sense because it's just slang and things like that. So it's a really good app. And I've started back into it. I had a six day streak. I lost it last night. But hey, I did some of it. Yay.

[B]

That's fun. It's good to have a thing you're excited about. I have to say, when you were like, I diving back into learning Korean in my head, I was like, oh, that's really great. How do I say oh? You don't say in Korean. I don't speak Korean. All right, I'll let him talk. I sincerely, for a moment was like, oh, how do I say that? I'll. I'll surprise Mark with my Korean.

[A]

I know in your joke hardware is like, you haven't unlocked that dlc you haven't.

[B]

Korean is a subscription service on Alexa plus.

[A]

Oh, Alexa plus plus.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, so much better and not at all exactly the same as. Anyway, Wade, do you have anything you want to talk about or should I do my small talk?

[C]

Oh, I got something I thought. Finally remembered something, huh? Weather peak me starting a nice trend of walking again. Trying to get my walks back in, which will be broken today, but man, did it happen up to yesterday.

[B]

What? It's the middle of it. You don't. You're not going to get a walk in for 10 hours between now and midnight.

[C]

Probably not, because I go straight from this to streaming to recording with like maybe an hour break for food.

[B]

You don't need a whole hour for food. Eat and walk, or eat then walk, walk then eat.

[C]

I suppose it's possible, but it's unlikely

[B]

you can do it. As a man who's walked one mile every day so far this year and is still not falling behind and still keeping up, I can tell you you can do it.

[A]

That settles it. It's time to stand. I've been saying that I was going to do this for all because I'm like, ah, there's one way to easily make it healthier. And I for it.

[B]

I just saw a TikTok of this exact clip where Mark was like, can you believe we could choose to be different people? I'm gonna choose right now. And then he.

[A]

Oh fuck, my desk's broken.

[B]

Just stand. You just have to stand but crouch down so you're in.

[C]

Wait, since when are you taller when you stand?

[A]

I've always been taller when I stand. Every time I've stood up, my head has gone out of camera.

[C]

Oh no, there's a. I could lose a point for that. I forgot.

[B]

Oh, that's true.

[A]

It might just be unplugged. Hold on, I'm going down. Here I go.

[B]

He's going down to his real height. Look out, it's jumping down off his chair of tallness.

[A]

What's this unplugged USB down here?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Far away.

[C]

Mark.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

It's like a cave down here. Oh, can we come in?

[B]

If we cave, can we come hang out?

[A]

No, no, no, no. Did you guys see the the discussion? Because in when I was playing Resident Evil video, I go to the settings and it shows. I have 192 gigs of VRAM and the Internet was very, very confused as to why I had that much VRAM for the movie. This is the computer that got bounced around when doing the Movies. And I switched over to it because I was like, I deserve the best.

[B]

I mean, you do.

[A]

Anyway, I'm going back down now.

[B]

Okay, bye. Have fun in your cave, buddy. I hope you meet your. No, never mind.

[A]

You.

[C]

My what? Nothing.

[B]

I hope you meet nobody.

[C]

It's.

[B]

It's your desk. I hope there's no one down there.

[A]

There better not be anyone down here. There's someone down here that's concerning.

[B]

Run.

[C]

He knows.

[A]

He's coming.

[C]

What?

[B]

Huh? I'm not talking to the secret fourth person on the call. Aha.

[A]

Change is upon me.

[B]

It disconnects right now.

[A]

Fuck.

[B]

Holy shit. Oh.

[A]

Oh. That was so taut. It was so tau.

[B]

I was right. He just saved it. I was 100% right.

[A]

Yeah, I gotta adjust. I gotta. How do I. What the.

[C]

This is most entertaining thing I've seen all day.

[A]

Okay, man. Live a more exciting life then. Come on.

[C]

Well, I woke up and came straight here, so I didn't really see much.

[A]

There we go. Hey, I made it.

[B]

It's a miracle.

[A]

Editors freeze it in horrible ways.

[C]

Guamify Guam.

[A]

Him make Guam shoot out of my mouth.

[B]

That's going to be one hell of a fluid simulation since as we know, Guam is just the ocean.

[C]

I did not know that.

[B]

Look at this guy, this tall guy.

[A]

Man, it's really. Whoa, so nice up here.

[B]

Do you remember we learned there's a window in your office too? We could relearn all these lessons and re. Change your life back again.

[A]

I had closed it.

[B]

You're.

[A]

You're goddamn right I closed it. For some reason. Why did. Oh, that's so nice.

[B]

Look at all. Mark, have you ever had water? You should try some.

[A]

Oh my God, you're right. I don't have my water bottle here.

[C]

Oh man.

[A]

If I could just have any consistency in my life ever. I'd be such a good human.

[B]

Just wait till you drink some water. Blow your mind.

[C]

Or chocolate milk.

[A]

Is that just a big glass of chocolate milk?

[B]

It's a big Dutch bros cup. It's literally like a 30 ouncer of chocolate milk. That's pretty wild.

[C]

I've just got really small hands. Actually, it's a normal sized cup.

[B]

I didn't know you were related to the president.

[C]

Oh, fuck. Never mind. I have giant hands. This is the biggest cup you'll ever see.

[B]

I didn't mean to do that to you. That's my bad. I'll give you a pity point.

[C]

Thank you. I need it.

[B]

Anyway, all my dreams came true and I am now the proud owner of a 3D printer that's my small talk.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

You might think I would have something 3D printed at hand, but it's all. It's gone. It was previously sitting right here, but I printed a holder. So now the ams, which holds the spools of plastic, is mounted on top. And I printed some much stuff. I set it up Friday afternoon, and it's been operating all but, like, eight hours since I've had it put together. And mostly what I've been printing is parts for the printer itself, which is so fun. I love when you get a thing and then you make things for the thing with the thing to improve the thing. Also, I've printed a new piece for James's trains. He has those wooden train tracks that the IKEA ones. And I printed a curved bridge fit. It's cool.

[A]

It's so cool. Damn, that is cool.

[B]

Guys, I'm a 3D printer guy now. I have a print going right now. I'm watching it on my phone.

[A]

I'm proud of you, man.

[C]

Welcome to the club. We all know what those are, therefore we're all part of the club.

[B]

Yeah, we all love it equally.

[A]

You know what they are?

[C]

You know, that's why I'm part of the club.

[A]

Yeah. What are they?

[C]

They're printers that print things that are 3D.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Did you see the new advancement in 3D printing technology with the holograms?

[C]

Yeah, the. Bob got one.

[A]

No, the holograms. That's old news.

[C]

Of course. I'm in the club. Why wouldn't I have seen it?

[B]

Yeah, he gets the emails.

[A]

It's actually a really interesting advancement where they have a gel medium. It's kind of like Disney had something where they had a gel medium and they would print in there and it would suspend it and it would print faster. This actually uses reflective mirrors to have light concentrate in where a hologram would normally be. So you can get little glass things and you can have a hologram in there. And it's like, oh, it's a 3D shape that's been available for a while, but in 3D printing terms, if they use UV light and they have projected hologram inside there that's consistent, it will cure the resin in the shape of the hologram, thereby 3D printing the entire object at once inside the gel medium. And it takes, like, in 10 seconds, it prints like a tiny thing like this. So it's very small scale, but it's interesting technology because this is like something where it's like, oh, I could see this actually being using UV light. Yeah, well, they use UV light in resin printing right now. And I'm not 100% sure if it's exactly UV light, but I would guess it was because that's usually what they would use.

[C]

Power of the sun in the palm of my printer.

[B]

That's really interesting that it's so quick, though, because I'm assuming there are limit because you're focusing the light through the medium. Obviously it cures most quickly where it converges or whatever, but. So you're partially curing all of it or something. But like, if you could just be like 3D, print a whole thing all at once with, you know, basically in the form of like a big UV X ray flash type thing, that'd be really sick. I could see there would be really interesting potential for that.

[A]

It would be cool. It'd probably take many years before it scales up. But the fact that it happens at all is it makes a lot of sense.

[C]

You know, who else takes things that aren't 3D and makes them 3D? Bakers found a really cool French Asian bakery.

[B]

That does sound cool.

[A]

What's it called?

[C]

All right, here we go. Tous Leisure. I hope that's how it's pronounced. But it sounds good. That sounded good, right? It sounded like real words.

[A]

That sounded really good, man. Yeah.

[C]

T O U S L E S J O U R S It's so good. They've got some really good stuff.

[B]

Oh, two slash Jew. What's your favorite thing to get from there? I assume you've been there. You didn't just find it, not eat there. What did you get? Oh, God.

[C]

It's like a slice of strawberry something cake. They also have like a. Just a Belgian waffle, like half dipped in chocolate. Molly got. It's not strawberry shortcake, but it's kind of tasted like strawberry shortcake. Strawberry cloud cake. I had a slice of strawberry cloud cake. That was fantastic.

[B]

Oh, cloud cake.

[C]

Yeah. But they've got, like. They've got, you know, fruit pastries. They've got like breakfast pastries. They've got all kinds of stuff.

[B]

French pastries I'm familiar with. I'm completely unfamiliar with, like, Asian baked goods. Is the cloud cake like an Asian baked good thing? Because I've not really heard of that before.

[C]

I couldn't tell you what comes from where, and I couldn't tell you the name of most things. I just looked and I was like, that look like bread with chocolate. Wade.

[B]

Like French. I've seen croissants, whatever, but I. I'm just Completely ignorant of. Like, I'm sure that there's plenty of very cool, very interesting Asian baked goods that I'm unaware of anyway. That sounds delicious. Do they doordash? Can I doordash some of that?

[C]

I haven't looked, but it's kind of fun to go. I know I'm not a person who goes, but it's fun to go. You get like, you grab a tray and you put some paper sheet things over the tray liner. No, it's like the wax paper kind of thing you put on the tray and then you grab some tongs and you go around, you actually put the stuff you want on your tray.

[B]

Oh, that sounds fun.

[C]

And then they've got nice little sitting area, so you can sit neat there or you can get it to go and they'll bundle it up for you and stuff. Like it's just a nice cute little place.

[A]

But for you. You have to order a cab every. Want to go there?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Unless it's walking distance.

[C]

I hitchhike. It's not walking distance.

[B]

Oh, that's a bold move. Then you have to buy twice as much so that you have pastries to share on the ride home.

[C]

Well, and it's easy to get the ride because all you do is you go to Le Jour Monsieur and people are like, ah, cultured. Get in. And then they take me there.

[B]

I'm not going to question that.

[C]

I think it means Mr. I could probably be wrong.

[A]

Look, I don't speak French, but I'm pretty sure that's exactly how it's pronounced.

[C]

I took Spanish and it's nothing like what I just said.

[A]

Pronounce it like Spanish.

[C]

I turned German. Is that Spanish?

[A]

No, like a Texan Spanish, you know. Well, no, Texas Spanish might be even better than that.

[C]

Yeah, that's right, buddy. Remember the Alamo, senor?

[A]

Kentucky Spanish, West Virginian Spanish. Yes.

[C]

That's in Texan, right? Alamo. That's in Texan.

[B]

That's located in Texan. Yes.

[C]

Yeah, it's a French Asian bakery. It's really good.

[B]

Yeah, no, that sounds delicious. I want to. That's. I wrote that down. I actually scribbled that in the little side margin so I can remember maybe. Probably not.

[A]

Special announcement, everybody. We're interrupting whatever this is interrupting. I don't know if it's right in the middle. Baltimore's intro or something. Whatever's the most jarring and the most frightening. I want you to be afraid here. Make my face all spooky. Guam. Guam. Guam. Guam. Guam, Guam. We, as you know, had to deal with Spotify, but unfortunately has now ended. Say thank you to Spotify for allowing us to do this on the platform. And as the end of that era, we're not ending the show.

[B]

It's over. Cut to black.

[A]

So we're gonna go down to one episode a week on Mondays for a little bit. We don't know exactly how long because the way these podcast things work, now that we're no long in that deal, we are wandering free and alone and lost like little lambs, and we have no home and we have no peace. Also, I need to go on a honeymoon.

[B]

There's no hard date, but we're going to take some time to have a little bit of an easier schedule and hopefully Mark and Amy have a really nice trip and actually get to celebrate that you're married now and not just get married and then dive immediately back into the movie thing, because you were right in the heat of it, right then when all that went down. But it'll be nice. We'll have a little break, but we will be back and we'll probably make some sort of announcement and depending on if we get some new contract or whatever, like, well, you'll be able to tell.

[C]

Or if the filming for the sequel Steel Bladder starts.

[B]

So that's why we're going down to one a week. But we will be back. That's the end of it. That's the whole announcement. A scary transition. Bald. Anyway, unless anyone else has any other small talk. Do you want to play a game?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Did I talk about on this show how there's a. I don't know if it's Christian, but like a religious knockoff of Saul. Have I talked about that here?

[A]

A religious knockoff of Saul. Oh, God.

[C]

Let me see if I still have the image. I just made this really stupid pun when I saw a video. I didn't watch the video, but I saw the thumbnail about it and I turned them on. I was like, do you want to pray?

[B]

A game.

[A]

I've said that before.

[C]

It's called the Reconciler.

[B]

The Reconciler. What a terrifyingly long name.

[A]

I don't know if I like the Reconciler.

[C]

Redemption is the only way out.

[B]

This is a game we've played before, kind of. I have to be honest. I saw someone talking about this on the subreddit. It's my idea, but I definitely stole it directly from someone else's brain. You guys remember when we played Dice breakers, which was a thing where you rolled. I gave you a prompt or I asked you a question and Then you rolled a die and you had to answer at the appropriate level of whatever you rolled, so you had to try. And if you rolled a NAT one, you had to give me a NAT one answer, so on, so forth. Well, same premise, except this time each of you is going to have your own die in your own hands in front of you that neither of the other two of us will be able to see. I will give you a question, a sort of classic icebreaker question, something really stupid. You will roll your die and then you will have to give an answer that gets us to correctly guess what you rolled for your answer, and you gain or mostly lose points, depending on how far off I'm gonna say. My guess is the one that counts for points. Whoever's going the other two, we can talk about it. But whatever my final guess is, you will win a point if it's correct. If it's within one, you get no points. But if it's two away, you lose a point, three away, you lose two points, so on and so forth. So the score today might be interesting.

[A]

So we want you to guess our number.

[B]

You want to give an answer that gets us to guess what you rolled as accurately as possible.

[A]

Got it? Okay. Yes, I got it.

[B]

Now that I'm thinking it all the way through out loud, I think I'm going to expand the points a little bit. If I. If I guess it exactly, you get a point. If I'm within plus or minus two, you don't gain or lose any points. No, you gain one point. If I get exactly, you get two points. If I'm more than two away, you lose a point. I just realized we were going to have a. Like if someone rolled a 20 and gave an answer and I guess like six, you couldn't lose 13 points. That would be kind of fucked. Doesn't ruin the whole thing.

[A]

Which one are we rolling? Because I have options now. I have D20, 10, 8, 12, 6, and 4.

[C]

I've only got the 20th of my death.

[B]

I think we should do 20s. I think D20 is a nice range. You have a five number range where as long as you get it within there, there's no damage or, well, whatever, you, you get one point or whatever. But if I'm more than plus or minus 2 from your actual roll, you lose a point, you get dinged. And I will flip the coin of confusion to see who goes first. Wade, you're the lion today.

[C]

Rawr.

[B]

And Mark, you're the lady, because that's the two sides of the coin that I Have that. I didn't just drop. Lion goes first.

[A]

Okay, I need an example, so.

[B]

Oh. Holy shit. Hey, are you good?

[A]

I was trying. Oh, everything's fine. Everything's fine.

[C]

He has a ceiling.

[A]

Everything is fine. I just wanted. Well, now it's. Oh, man.

[B]

Is that not how it used to be? Wait a minute.

[A]

No, hold on.

[B]

Oh, no. Did it get out of alignment with your teleprompter? Is that what that is?

[A]

No, it's fine. Oh, that's what it is.

[B]

What it is.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

There we go. Yep. Okay. Just. Okay, I stand here. Okay. All right, we got this. Hold up, hold up, hold up.

[B]

It's still a teleprompter thing. On this. On the right.

[A]

I know. I got it. I'm going to fix one thing, then the other.

[C]

Hey, wait. You didn't fix the other thing.

[A]

Peekaboo. Peekaboo.

[B]

I'm scared. But come back.

[C]

I don't have object permanence yet, man. You can't do that to me.

[A]

I got it. When do you get that?

[C]

Oh, the 32. I'm young.

[A]

The 32. Eh. That's good.

[C]

That's a camera.

[B]

Wade goes first. I'm gonna give you the first prompt. You're gonna roll your dice. Don't tell or show anyone. But then, once you have your number, give us your answer. And we will have to guess from 1 to 20 what we think you rolled. And by we, I mostly mean me. But Mark can help. We can talk about it. We can debate. So, Wade, if you got to choose your name, what would it be, and why?

[C]

If I got to choose my name, I would probably do a lot of research into other cultures and languages and find something fun, kind of unique, that blends together some, like, significant meaning to who I am as a person and, like, what outlooks and morals and values I have in life. And that way, my name, whenever I say it out loud, would be not just something that reflects who I am by the word itself, but also by the deeper meaning that it reflects.

[B]

That's really boring. It's gotta be like a one or a two or something, right?

[C]

Uh.

[B]

Oh,

[C]

okay.

[B]

Clearly, you're going for thoughtful, smart.

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm getting. I'm getting something fairly high. There's no way he rolled a nat 20 already, is there?

[A]

I don't know. I mean, who knows what the. If that dice is loaded, I would be the least shocked person in the world. It's literally made of. Of beads.

[B]

That's true. That's true. It's.

[A]

It's the most unfair hand. He walks into a casino with that dice, you know, doesn't get stopped by security.

[C]

I love the bring your own dice casinos. Those are my favorite.

[B]

Do you know what's inside that thing? I know it has. It's covered in beads. But Mark has a point. I. I don't know what that's made of.

[C]

God, no. I imagine it's pure poison and terrible toxin.

[B]

That had to be high. I'm going to guess. You rolled a 19.

[C]

Do I wait for Mark to guess,

[A]

too, or do I. Oh, I have to guess.

[B]

I mean, you can guess. Mine is the one that determines the points.

[A]

But I would go with, like, all the meaning and importance being he rolled a seven and his name already has sevens in it. So I'm like, I bet it's seven or something.

[C]

Glad Bob's my judge. It's a 16.

[B]

A 16.

[A]

Well, that's. What does that have to do with what you were saying? That's silliness.

[B]

What did I guess? 19?

[C]

You did.

[B]

So you lose one point.

[C]

Yeah, I guess that went pretty high there. I was like, okay, what's a good above average answer? I don't know what would have been better than that? Now that I think about it, I did give it pretty 20 vibes.

[B]

That was a. That was. You really went for it. You kind of went all out for the answer there. I feel like 16 is, like, just verging on like. Yeah, that's a good answer territory. Not like.

[C]

Well, I thought that was kind of like 10. 10's average. 15 is above average.

[B]

Like, you know, I mean, maybe I'm. I don't know. But when you're actually playing, like, tabletop, if you have to roll a D20, don't you usually need to roll pretty high to succeed at things? Is it usually like a 50, 50

[C]

in the system we're playing in? Pathfinder? It's kind of like usually an 11 or higher is what you need to succeed.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[C]

Well, and then weapons can crit anywhere from, like 18 to 20, typically, depending

[B]

on what kind of weapon. Well, I was wrong, but Mark was wronger.

[C]

It's okay. I'll pay the price for that.

[B]

All right, Mark, your turn.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

What item do you hope will be obsolete in 20 years? Now roll an answer.

[A]

It's like on a line, I think. Okay. I think I know walkers for old people, you know, the big ones, because I'm like, cane or nothing, buddy. You know, that's what I'm about. But walkers, you know, the big ones. Like, when I in Unisonis when I was the old guy. I hope that medicine advances to where old people don't need them because they're so strong. They don't need those walkers, the big ones.

[B]

Oh no.

[C]

Bob, we got. On the scale of this one.

[B]

Wait, you go first. Help. Help me.

[C]

I'm thinking it's somewhere between a 3 and an 18. I'm going to go with go with an 8.

[B]

When we were getting really low previously, everyone defaulted to like dumb and down, like talking with short words and dumb down that he. He used pretty good language. He didn't do any crazy shenanigans. Like you can't say it was a wrong answer or a bad answer, but he just really struggled with it. I don't know if that was a bit or if that was part of the.

[C]

They got me with the walkers. The big one.

[B]

Part of the big one.

[C]

Yeah. That's where I'm like, okay, it was a good answer. But then walker, the big one made me feel like I was five, so.

[A]

Well, we're trying. Trying to the objective.

[B]

No, I get it, I get it.

[C]

You get seven for mine, man.

[B]

I feel like he was trying to temper.

[A]

You said important number. I was like, that's important to you. Seven's important to you.

[C]

That is important number to me. You love eight probably.

[B]

I feel like we just talked about this and I hope this is not super wrong because I think it was really funny answer, but I feel like that was aimed to be like right down the middle. I feel like that was like a 10. No.

[A]

Oh no, no. Cuz a walker, the big ones have four legs. So I was hoping that they. That's why I said a cane's okay. But the walker, the big one, I'm hoping.

[B]

No, that's totally out of me. That's totally on me. I didn't know we were dropping clues in the answer.

[A]

I thought we were supposed to drop clues in the answers.

[B]

No, look, I had no preconceived notions. I was just curious how you guys would play this. So. So you say it was a four?

[A]

It was four. Four was the.

[C]

I got the age part right.

[B]

Honestly, Mark, that was on me. I think I'm gonna be saying that a lot today. How.

[A]

How obvious are we supposed to make these things as obvious as possible?

[B]

No, you play the game how you like. This is like the one where you were saying the word backwards. So as we're on the same page, play the game how you want to play it.

[A]

All right, cool.

[C]

Co I've got 16 names that come to mind. But

[A]

Dr. Archibald Reginald.

[B]

All right, Wade, for. For ease of thinking, I think maybe roll first, and then I'll ask you the question so you can get in the frame of mind. Because I realized with Mark, that was kind of backwards. All right, you got your number. Which tastes better, round or square pizza?

[C]

I've not had that many square pizzas, so I'd have to say round by default. I don't do jets a whole lot. Round is what I think of when I eat pizza, so I'm gonna go with round.

[B]

Really underestimated how much I was putting myself on the spot with this game. I was like, oh, this will be so funny. They'll just have to.

[C]

All right, and there could be. There could be some funny answers if

[B]

we're giving number hints.

[C]

I didn't. Let me be honest. I did not.

[B]

Zeros are round, so it could be a 0, a 10, or a 20. Could be anywhere in that.

[A]

No, I know what it is. I know what it is. You want me to just do your job for you?

[B]

Yes, please.

[A]

Here's what it was. It was a very middle of the road answer, but he still had favoritism, and he had favoritism towards what his default was. So it's got to be nine, because it's not 10. He's just one to the. He made a choice, right? He didn't go.

[C]

Well, both. It could be.

[B]

He.

[A]

He made a choice, but it was so close to the middle. It's got to be 9. Could be 11, but I think it's 9.

[B]

I was with you right up until the actual conclusion and tell. You said it in my head. I was like, oh, that makes sense. He's gonna say it was 11 because it was clearly 11. Huh? 11, 12. Oh. Ooh.

[A]

So was that kind of. The thing is, like, you're a little choicey in one direction.

[C]

I was like, let me just give a very bland, average, not interesting answer. Like, I will answer the question, therefore being at least better than average.

[B]

Yeah, that was. That was right down the. Right down the pipe there.

[C]

Yeah, like, it's hard with that role. It was like, I'd love to be funny and interesting, but that's, like, as close. I could roll a 10, but, like, that's. That's pretty average. Just answer the question boringly.

[B]

All right. That earned you a point, Wade.

[C]

Oh, I'm back to zero.

[B]

Mark. Roll first.

[A]

Get a number. Okay, go on.

[B]

Which Mario Kart character? Where are you?

[A]

Can I look up a list of Mario Kart characters?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Pass.

[A]

Pass. Pass. Smash pass. Smash pass. Smash pass.

[B]

Definitely smash. Birdo somewhere in there.

[A]

That's exactly. Okay, all right. Okay. All right. I think you're gonna. You're gonna. You're gonna know exactly what I'm thinking. You're gonna know exactly what I'm thinking when I say this, because I. I'm not. I'm not sure what it is about him. Tall, you know, not always in the limelight, but I'm thinking Luigi.

[B]

Interesting. What numbers are associated with Luigi? Let me think. Hang on.

[C]

Luigi's got two I's, which is the roman numeral for 2. A U. Sideways is just a 3. Miss in the middle, a U. Oh,

[B]

you're spelling his name.

[C]

Okay, Luigi, six letters. I'm trying to. I'm trying to figure out Mark's thinking here. Walker still only has four legs.

[B]

You know what else has four legs? Makes a go? Kart. Except for the ones that don't because they have motorcycles and other nonsense.

[C]

I don't know whether to go with this answer if there's hidden meaning. All right, well, Bob, your guess is the one that matters anyway. That felt. That also felt very down the middle. He said luigi's tall, which is true. He gave facts. He wasn't wrong. He picked a character. He picked one that's actually in the game. As far as I know.

[B]

Mark has established a gameplay mechanic.

[C]

How many words did mark say? It's 23, but no, that's not.

[B]

There's a lot of contractions if that was only 23 words. No, he. He looked. There's a range of things.

[C]

He smashed Birdo. That made sense.

[B]

It was a very. He smashed. He got kind of distracted. And there are five letters in Luigi's name.

[C]

I thought it was L, O, U, I, G, I. Is it L, O, I, G, I, L, O, U.

[B]

What the.

[C]

That's how I spelled Lou. Is that how you spelled Lou?

[B]

Louis?

[A]

E, G. Oh, my God.

[C]

There's no.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

O. Luigi's olus.

[B]

Yeah, there's no O at all. That's true.

[C]

I've got to redo all my calculations. I'm going to just say a 10 and move on.

[B]

I think that was a 5. Because of the pre established rules, I'm picking you up. I got. Nailed it.

[A]

Oh, Wade, what was your guess?

[C]

10.

[A]

All right, so Wade's logic was right there. He actually got the exact logic that I had, except he went, there's two I's in it. And if he went Roman numeral instead of the number, which was 11, because I was like, he's total, never really number one.

[C]

I'm getting there, Mark. I'm getting there, man. I'm slow.

[A]

He's got it, man. You just went Roman instead of, you know, Arabic numerals.

[C]

Average answer. Two eyes, 11. Okay.

[A]

You know, he's not number one always. You know, he's middle of the road. Always, Always.

[B]

You know, honestly, Wade scared me away from it because you. Last time we did a thing like this, Wade kept thinking, like, act. Reacting to your cl. Like you were a crazy person. And I kept being like, I see what Mark's doing. I understand. I'm with you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. There may not be consistency in any of this that I give you.

[B]

When Wade threw his thing out there, I was like, well, it can't be that. That's a good ground rule. It's gonna be something other than whatever Wade just said.

[C]

I should feel upset by this, but you might usually be right.

[A]

You might be right.

[C]

Listen, my cadence might be a little. Huh?

[B]

Wade, roll your number.

[A]

All right, baby. Ooh, snake eyes.

[C]

I can't do that.

[B]

What is the weirdest item that you keep by your bed?

[C]

Frogs. I like to keep frogs around just in case, you know, you get thirsty.

[B]

What about frog squenches your thirst.

[C]

Oh, the vines.

[B]

Oh, okay. You drink them. Is that a drink?

[C]

Sometimes you just gotta, like, the frog vine. And then all of a sudden, it's sunny.

[B]

I think I know what this is. It's clearly a Nat20. It's just transcending to another plane of existence. That's why it seems so crazy. I don't know, Mark. Do you want to throw me off the scent or do you have.

[A]

Okay, so he said frog, not toad. That's very important because it's the moisture that's really a part of this. And so when you have a frog, if you're thirsty. And he mentioned vines, which is not associated with frogs ever. I don't think anyone's ever been, like, vines, frogs. So he's thinking a specific type of frog. He's thinking a tree frog, not necessarily a water frog on lilies. Right. So tree three.

[B]

I believe you completely, and I think Mark has nailed it. It's a three, man.

[A]

Close, though.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was thinking of the two frog.

[A]

The fucking what?

[C]

The two frog. Not the tree frog. The toe frog.

[B]

Mark, who are you looking around for?

[A]

I don't know. God. To take me away from this place.

[C]

I think,

[A]

why am I still here?

[B]

Just to suffer. We already know that one. All right, Mark, roll your number and then get ready to party.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Love that what's the first thing you notice about someone when you first meet them?

[A]

Face.

[B]

Four letters in the word face. Mark gets immediately dismissed.

[C]

It's no eyes, seven holes. Face. If your original letters in face, you get affic.

[B]

Huh? Yep. Or E. Caf.

[C]

Cafe. Cafe. Cafe.

[B]

Yes. Okay. Yep. Keep going. Drive me there.

[C]

Cafe.

[B]

Coffee.

[C]

Where's coffee go? Orifice. How many orifices in the face? Bass doesn't include ears, does it? Or does it? Could be five. Could be seven. Face. Four letters in face.

[B]

Yeah, we just covered that.

[C]

C upside down. Kind of. Could be a small smile. E. E. A smile behind bars. A smile behind bars. Fa. A long, long way to go,

[B]

Mark, if it makes you feel any better, I'm not gonna rely on weight input on this one.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

I think it's a 37. He must have a hell of a modifier.

[A]

Oh, man. Face.

[B]

Face. Face.

[C]

Makes sense, but it's not much. All right.

[B]

I. That felt down the middle. Correct answer. To me, it wasn't, like, offensive or crazy. It wasn't ridiculous. That is probably the first thing you do notice every time you meet a person, because you're probably looking at their face when you say you introduce yourself. I feel like that was. That was tightly simple. That had to be a 10. It had to be a 10. No, I mean, it's a six.

[A]

Man, I thought I was so sure I had. Because you. You said the first thing you say when you get the first see someone's face. And I went, oh, the first thing you get when you first see someone's face. And that was like, I'll just say one word.

[B]

Face.

[A]

I got a one. I even emphasize the first thing you say, the first see the.

[B]

But that's a good answer, though.

[A]

Yeah, it is. It's the best. It's number one. It's the. It's what everyone would say first. Unless Gigantic moves, I guess, maybe.

[B]

Am I wrong in thinking that one is, like, the worst answer you could possibly give?

[A]

I don't know, but you keep. There's been this strategy in your mind where it's like. It's been a middle of the road answer. It's like, I've never done that. That's Wade's thing. Wade does the middle of the road answers. I am very specific. First thing that. The first time. First.

[B]

Hey, there's a one in what I said.

[A]

Does that give me points? I guess we'll find out, Mark, even

[C]

if you don't get points, that was fun, and I enjoyed the journey we got to go on together.

[A]

Thank You. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know where that journey went for you, but it was. It was good to watch.

[C]

Oh, man. I had smiles behind bars in their 30s. I don't know. I had all kinds of stuff going on.

[A]

It was kind of crazy, but, you know, not that crazy.

[C]

I feel like every time you give an answer, I'm the meme of, like, the guy with all, like, the stuff written behind him, like, trying to draw the comparisons.

[A]

Like, he picked the word F. F.

[C]

It is in the word first. First one. But it's also in 4 and 14.

[B]

One more. And all I'm concerned about is I'm going to understand the clues that Mark leaves for me. I don't even give a shit. I'm pre guessing Wade is a 13, and I'm skipping straight to focusing on Mark. I'm not. I'm not losing eye contact. Wade, it doesn't matter what you say. Your question is, what's the corniest pickup line? You know, Tomorrow.

[A]

Tomorrow.

[C]

I love you.

[A]

Back in the day, we used to go to this place called Village Tavern, and Wade would always somehow pick up the supermodels, right? So he was so busy with all of the women that were throwing themselves at him that it must be a massive number, because this is a last person in line. He would often like 12, 13, 14 women at a time. They just line up like a queue to give him a smackaroo. He'd be sipping his Texas tea. You have all these teas, which stands for 20, because tomorrow.

[B]

Tomorrow.

[A]

He said it twice, which is two tens. And therefore, this married man used to go to a bar and pick up chicks. And then you'd say, I'll see you tomorrow.

[B]

And Mark would just sit there and be like, wow, you really got that dog in you, don't you? I'm trying to sync up with Mark. I'm gonna choose to believe you, Mark. It was definitely a 20.

[A]

Unless it was a 2 because of the tomorrow. But he already had a 2. What are the odds he's gonna get two twos in a row?

[B]

I know that would never happen.

[A]

Well. Oh, tomorrow.

[B]

Tomorrow.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

What was it, Wade? Why the fuck was it three? What the shit?

[A]

The fuck is it? Because I did the three for the frog. That was two, and you were like, tomorrow. So I'll think three. Because it was the void that was filled from the other one that was there before.

[C]

I just went off the rails, man. My don't. Mine aren't number related. I just was like, what would not work.

[A]

How are you winning? Then how are you winning? No, you're not winning. Wait. No, that's.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

I'm stupid. That was it.

[C]

Well, not anymore.

[A]

I just thought there was more cosmic injustice.

[C]

I think I just lost 19 points, man.

[A]

I thought.

[C]

I thought.

[A]

I thought it was all aligning against me, but that's. This is good for me.

[C]

You're not the only one who can not get Bob on your side.

[A]

Don't worry about it.

[C]

All right, back to our regularly scheduled program of trying to interpret. Mark.

[B]

All right, Mark. I'm gonna find you. I'm lost in the universe and I am gonna find you. And I'm gonna feel it. Are you ready?

[C]

Magic carpet. Sound dampening. Ovulation. All the things he could say are going through my mind.

[A]

Every possible word. He knows.

[B]

What is your ideal way to spend your birthday? He's getting there. He's doing it.

[C]

Wait. This is the answer. Hold on. Pay attention. He rolled a zero.

[A]

Birthday. Birthday. Right. Birthday. Birthday. Birthday. Birthday. You know, I wasn't one for birthday parties to celebrate. Didn't invite people over that much. Even nowadays, I don't often do birthdays. Very big last year, you know, a birthday, you know, I ended up proposing. So really, you know, that might have been the best present I have. But I can't repeat that one. So, you know, it would have to be something that. That. That, you know, I could.

[B]

You know.

[A]

That was a TV series about killing yourself.

[B]

Okay, Sorry.

[A]

Just kick him up. Anyway. Sorry. Anyway, I don't. You know, I think it's the only time around Friends. We celebrate together. Maybe a good meal at a nice restaurant. That's all that matters to me.

[C]

That was a lot more words than face. He did say one. And then nothing at one point, which brought me to 10. And then he mentioned proposal. You know, Amy, have been together, like, a little over 10 years. That's two references to 10, which could be two tens, making it a 20. There was a lot of us and rambling. So it could be a 2. It's either a 2, a 10, or a 20.

[B]

Oh, okay. I see what you're getting at.

[C]

No friends, one birthday, no friends.

[B]

One Mark.

[C]

No friends. That's the one. Zero. It's ten.

[B]

He said the word birthday nine times. And he said he focused on friends a lot. There's 10 seasons of Friends. There's a definite clustering.

[C]

If Mark's answer is 19 because of that, that would be fucking nuts.

[B]

No, this. It had to be. You talked about how you didn't invite people to your birthday. You spent it Alone. It had to be something about that. And then the proposal. And then you talked about the show about killing yourself. I just feel like that can't be a very high number.

[C]

Wait, how many different topics did he talk about? Maybe that's the answer.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's good. I'll keep counting. Different parts.

[C]

Birthday, friends, death, television.

[B]

What channel was Friends on? Is it CBS? What channel is that? 10.

[C]

Oh, CBS. C would be 3. B would be 2. S.

[A]

Whatever number that letter is, he

[B]

talked about killing himself has to be low. This as low as could be 17. No, I'm not gonna hedge. I'm gonna be bold because I'm exactly on the right wavelength. I know this in my heart of hearts. It was a one.

[A]

It was.

[B]

Was it a one? What was it?

[C]

Thirteen.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

The show about killing yourself.

[C]

How many candles are on his cake? Thirteen candles.

[A]

I was rambling.

[C]

I was like.

[A]

I could do something about how, like, oh, it was so nice when I had a brain birthday party when I became, finally a teenager, and I was like, maybe. And then I was like. I couldn't even remember if it was actually 13 reasons why or if it was.

[B]

Oh,

[A]

it was right there. It was right there. The television shows, you were all on it. It was. I was leaning towards it.

[C]

You know, this episode's gonna be our 37th reason.

[B]

Yeah, I've never seen that. I didn't. I actually. When you said there was a TV show about kill yourself, I was. Was like, oh, that's weird. I don't know that one.

[A]

Yeah, I said a lot of reasons.

[B]

Did you say 13 reasons, though?

[A]

No, no, I just said the show about killing yourself. And then, you know, there's reasons I

[C]

love whenever I laugh to the point of physical tears.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

What's it like on your end, watching us try to figure it out?

[A]

Oh, it's.

[B]

It's.

[A]

You know, it's in between pain and funny and a lot of pain. Pain swinging wildly, averaging into a very neutral state.

[C]

I rolled a three and you guys

[B]

guessed a 20, so I feel we didn't guess 20.

[C]

You know the classic pickup line. Tomorrow, Tomorrow. I love you.

[A]

Have any of these been close?

[B]

I was one off for Wade twice. The closest I was for Mark was.

[A]

Was.

[B]

Was six away. The first two guesses. You know what, Mark? I have to say, it's probably my fault. Honestly. I think that you put a lot out there, and I think I let Wade throw me off on some of them. And then when I tried to do it myself, I think I am an idiot.

[A]

No, no, no, no. As the judge, you're correct at all times.

[B]

It's fine. It's fine. I don't see that as a bad thing. I see that as. I see that as a boon, if anything. Anyway, let's go over the points. Remarkably close. I don't write it off. Mark. Mark did dominate the small talk. Mark, you earned positive points for me being biased towards you learning Korean. The longest stand up sequence I've ever seen. Hologram 3D print small talk, which was awesome. Your camera fell over, which made me laugh and was very funny. And then you also got a dismay point. Point because of the general sense of dismay that you have felt for the entire second half of this episode. And then you lost points for every round of the game itself.

[C]

Yeah. Yep.

[A]

That feels about right. Yep.

[B]

Which totals out to two points.

[A]

Oh, I'm positive.

[B]

Wade, you have a tentative lost point for making a short joke in the opening. You gained positive points for being an underdog dog, collapsing our timeline with chaos about the Oscars. Walking like a good boy. I gave you a pity point. I gave you a Tula juice point. And then you gained points for two of the rounds, but you lost points in two of the rounds, leaving you with a total of three with a tentative lost point for the short joke. Depending on how the wheel is feeling today. I honestly thought Wade was gonna run away with it, but Mark had a pretty strong first half there. Does that make it less painful?

[A]

No, no. We still experienced. We have the scars from the. From the. From the game itself. You know, I just want to know

[C]

how many people go out to the bars and they try tomorrow. Tomorrow. I love you. As a pickup line and have success.

[B]

We better get some stories from the suburb anyway. How many spins will there be? I'm sure it won't be a number that will cause me problems. Ah, it's two.

[C]

Is two to three. Would that be like the lowest scoring game ever? We had lower than that.

[B]

Didn't we have negatives at one point? I'm not sure.

[C]

I don't. We used a lot of crazy shit happen.

[B]

Yeah, this.

[A]

This, this show's gotten out of control. I think we should probably, you know, kill it before it gets any. Any wilder.

[B]

I want to add a point for being the worst participant in an episode.

[A]

Worst participant as in didn't play the game right or was not paying attention or just didn't understand the rules. And through their inadvertent kind of all

[B]

around not understanding the rules, not playing the game very well because you can

[A]

Get a lot of points outside of the game. So I get this. I understand. Yeah. This makes sense.

[B]

We currently have. Hey, we're at a hundred. We have 100 options on the wheel.

[C]

Great. I hope we see more than the usual four.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

That means when we get sudden death again, it'll be a 1% chance of that. Actually, landing spin number one is half point for Bob.

[A]

Ah, shit. All right. Okay. We got tie potential here. Come on.

[C]

Oh, that's right.

[B]

Right, let's do it. Best million dollar idea.

[C]

I don't know that I contributed anything anywhere close to this.

[B]

Talked about the hologram 3D printing, but that's already a thing.

[A]

The hologram.

[B]

Wait.

[A]

Yes, the hologram. I brought up the hologram. That is definitely a million dollar idea.

[B]

But that's not your idea. That's. Someone else already had that idea.

[A]

Well, I mean, it doesn't say. It doesn't say that it's a million dollar. My million dollar idea.

[B]

Oh, wait. For no reason other than I just looked down and thought of it, I'm gonna say it has to be an idea that you contributed it to be someone else's idea.

[A]

All right, all right.

[C]

Damn host powers.

[B]

Well, listen, Wade, can it be an idea that is not the person's idea and they still get credit for it?

[C]

Is it too late to get points? Because if not. I agree with you, Bob. You're the host.

[B]

All right, all right.

[A]

But the next one, Next one.

[C]

I don't think I got a point for that. Even though that was the whole point. Oh, there's no lies, are there?

[A]

Lies?

[B]

I need to make a judgment call. Wade has a tentative point lost for the short joke. That is a different category of points than a lie point.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, that's different. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Because, I mean, look at him.

[A]

Yeah, pile it up while you're immune. Come on.

[C]

I'm already going to lose the point. If it comes up, I'm going to double dip.

[B]

The fourth wheel spin of the day certainly wouldn't do it to me like that.

[C]

Oh, no sneezes.

[B]

All right. No one stays. Good. All right. Fun, fun wheel. Come on.

[C]

We're going to go through all the options.

[B]

We're just landing all the ones we've never hit before. It was almost baldest, but it's. Oh, will to live.

[A]

I want to live.

[C]

Well, do you? I remember your last. Remember your 13.

[A]

That's not my idea. It's not my million dollar idea. I will say this is very against me, but I will admit that I did scream to the Heavens, why am I still here? I did actually do that, so I don't know if I can get that point as much as I want to.

[C]

And where there's a will, there's a way, Wade.

[B]

Well, as much as that makes me not want to give it to you,

[C]

I think that made you guys have less of a will to live, therefore giving more to me.

[A]

You're right. He's right. Oh, God. I want to live.

[B]

Please. Wade has the most will to live.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

All right, fine.

[B]

Congratulations, Wade. That means that with a score of 4 to 2, possibly the lowest score we've had. Definitely close. Wade is today's winner.

[A]

God, I've had the hell of a losing streak. I think it's cost me the season.

[C]

There's no way. Not with me winning.

[B]

Oh, wait, no. Wade won the last one I hosted, but it's because it went to sudden death. You actually were winning that one.

[C]

Oh, wait, yeah. Bob's won the last two I've hosted.

[B]

But you, you won the space tier list.

[C]

Bob's one of the last three I've hosted.

[A]

Wait. Go. Keep looking back. Wait.

[C]

Four, I've hosted.

[A]

Okay, hold on a second.

[C]

Five, I've hosted.

[A]

Wait, wait, hold on.

[B]

Wait a second.

[C]

Oh, there's Mark.

[A]

Keep going. Keep going. Wait, keep. Let's keep going.

[C]

Now you won. You will resolute. You won that one.

[A]

Yeah, keep going. Okay, wait.

[C]

No, that was a tie.

[A]

Who won it?

[C]

I didn't circle. I don't know. But you won the one before that, 20 to 17.

[B]

Mark, I think your problem is that I don't win enough because Wade ended up winning this one in the last one. But they were very close. But then you won Space tier list. How do you pay again? Snow days. Wade won one, but then you won half life by 10 point.

[C]

Anyway, it's me you gotta impress, buddy. I'm the one ruining your win streak. And guess who hosts the next episode? Bob. Hope you have one in their banks for no reason.

[B]

Oh, man. Yeah, I'll be ready to host. Don't worry. Mark, do you want to give a speech? No is an acceptable answer.

[A]

No, I got it. All right, listen. There comes a time when it's. It's like me never winning the streamy for gamer of the Year. I've never won it. I probably never will. And, you know, I have to come to terms with that. We all have to come to terms with that. And sometimes, if I don't win the year of the year thing, I will flip the ultimate unfair coin and. And we will look through Wade's book of wins. And I've never calculated how often I lose his games. And we will see. If there is bias, then I will accept the answers and it's fine. And you know, I hope only that the Streamys also has a big coin to flip for its own unfairness.

[B]

I'm sure that they do. Wade, would you like to give your winner speech?

[C]

Yeah, hold on one second. I'll give it. No particularies. I won. Big surprise. 17. I hate this game.

[B]

Wait, can I just say, I'm looking at the season stats right now. Wade is dominating in wheel spin points. Wade has won 55 wheel spin points. Mark is 46 and a half and I've won 46. But points without wheel spins, I'm dominating.648 to Mark.626 to. Wait, five.42 too.

[C]

And the wheel's the only one that loves me.

[B]

The total episode wins as of the last episode. The the smell you can lick was Mark with 33 episode wins, me with 33 episode wins, and Wade with 29 episode wins on the season. So, actually, Mark, you're tied for the lead if anything.

[A]

Does it come down to this next one? Is the next episode the decider?

[C]

Oh, that pressure on me.

[B]

Yeah, I guess this is kind of. This next one that Wade hosts is kind of like the 1v1 face off for champion of season 5. If you want to frame it like that, that's it. That could be true. Could be the way. I'm also just assuming that this post I found on this is a comment from far writer6952 on subreddit. I hope it's accurate. I don't want to have to come back and relitigate these numbers if this is wrong. That's on the screen subreddit right now. But I'm. I think this person keeps pretty careful track of that stuff, so actually, it's probably correct. Anyway, congrats, Wade. My apologies to Mark. You tried your hardest, and, boy, was that just not worth it. Make sure you check out. Make sure you check out the merch shop, distractible shop. Make sure you follow the show on wherever you listen and or watch it, because then you'll know when the episode's coming. Come out, and make sure that you tune in next time because Wade will be hosting and Mark and I are playing for the championship. Thanks, everybody for being here. This has been distractable. Wade's going to host the next one, see who the ultimate champion is. Until then, podcast out.