Fortunately, Unfortunately

Summary

Distractible Podcast – "Fortunately, Unfortunately"

Episode Summary & Key Highlights

Podcast: Distractible
Episode: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Release Date: Feb 16, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Overview

This episode of Distractible is all about the classic improv game "Fortunately, Unfortunately." Host Wade leads Mark and Bob through wild, unpredictable, and hilariously winding narratives built one sentence at a time. Along the way, the trio covers everything from vacation antics and creative struggles to werebears on PCP and haunted house drama, while showcasing their knack for absurd storytelling, self-deprecating humor, and friendly banter.

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Episode Structure

• [02:25] Podcast narrative introduction (colorful preview of what’s to come)
• [03:17–16:16] Small talk, tangents, and catch-up banter
• [17:38] Introduction and explanation of "Fortunately, Unfortunately"
• [19:39–41:07] Multiple rounds of "Fortunately, Unfortunately" game
• [41:18] Points tally, wheel spin, and winner announcement
• [48:50] Loser and winner speeches, reflections
• [50:05] Closing remarks

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1. Small Talk & Banter ([03:17–16:16])

• Mark’s Location: Mark records from a Hobbit-themed room in a Florida house with a bowling alley. He jokes about wanting to use the hot tub but losing out in a housemate battle.

  • “Seriously, though, we’re in a house in Florida, in Orlando, and there’s just bowling alley on the second floor of the house.” – Markiplier [05:34]

• Disney Plans & Super Bowl: Mark mentions plans to go to Disney. Rivalry with friends over Super Bowl teams, especially Patriots fan Tyler, leads to some playful jabs.

• Book Obsession: Bob gushes about binge-reading the Dungeon Crawler Carl series after finishing a big movie project.

  • “I read books like I chew packs of gum. All of it at once, and then I... I don’t make it last at all.” – Bob [07:49]

• Fitness & Self-Improvement (or Lack Thereof): Both Bob and Wade admit to just thinking about working out, not actually doing it.

  • “I’ve been doing the thinking about it. I’ve been doing the thing.” – Bob [09:55]
  • “If that counts, yeah. I mean, I’ve been exercising for 20 years straight.” – Wade [10:02]

• Mark’s Projects: Gentle ribbing about Mark’s tendency to commit to massive projects.

  • “Your next project is going to be a 10-year long, three-movie trilogy that you film, edit, and release all in one big... You only know how to escalate, huh?” – Mark [10:37]

• FNAF Cheating Confession: Bob comes clean about allegedly cheating at FNAF2’s 20/20/20/20 mode. Mark and Wade tease him about potential streams or rematches.

  • “Yeah, totally. I can’t remember. I can’t remember it at all, what the circumstances are… And I think Scott covered for me.” – Bob [10:58]

• Weather Superstitions: Wade and Mark joke about Bob being “cursed” or bringing cold weather with him.

  • “Is Bob cursed? Or is he an omen of cold or something like that?” – Wade [13:35]

• Highlight: Mark’s brief, silly magic trick with a disappearing tape roll, mistaken for ghostly phenomena, elicits laughs.

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2. Announcements & Podcast Meta ([15:04–16:18])

• Recognition of Distractible’s podcast chart success and iHeartRadio Podcast Awards nominations.
  • “No, no, we’re like… we’re, like, 32 overall, and we’re in, like, the top 15 of comedy.” – Markiplier [15:08]
  • “We’re 29.” – Bob [15:13]
  • “Best comedy podcast and best ad reads, which is just hilarious.” – Markiplier [15:26]

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3. "Fortunately, Unfortunately" – Improv Game Segments ([19:39–41:07])

Game Explanation ([17:38])

Wade explains the rules: one person starts the story with a sentence, then Mark and Bob alternate adding to the story, prefacing each addition with “Fortunately” or “Unfortunately”.

Key Stories & Memorable Moments

• Rabid PCP Werebears Scenario

  • Mark and Bob spin a story involving bear spray, a police convention, and werebears on PCP.
  • “Fortunately, the closer they came to catching me, the more of a contact high I gained from them. So it was like a speed boost…” – Markiplier [20:18]
  • “Unfortunately, we just so happened to run through the police officer convention and we were clearly high on PCP.” – Bob [20:28]
  • Comedy highlight: extended “werebear / we bear / where bear” wordplay [21:01]

• Dream Car & Life Crisis

  • A story beginning with achieving a dream car twists dark—noose jokes, knot failures, marital strife, and brisket-based apologies.
  • “Fortunately, I found this necklace outside on the street. It must have slipped right off your neck, sweetheart.” – Markiplier [23:12, borrowing from 'Catch Me If You Can']

• Escaping Jail with Entrapo

  • Escape artist antics with a villain named Entrapo, fake perfect crime plans, and a detour to Guam and Mariana’s Trench.
  • “Fortunately, I knew Entrapo’s greatest weakness. He couldn’t resist the perfect crime…” – Bob [25:23]

• Haunted House Ghost Rivalry

  • Bob faces ghost hunter “Hunto” and deals with an awkwardly apologetic story that gets increasingly absurd, involving carrying gear, dead racist Uncle Bob, and eventually Mark “kissing Hunto’s ass” as acts of penance, which goes viral online.
  • “Fortunately, all of the clips of me groveling and crying and kissing Hunto’s ass attract a very specific type of sexual attention. And as it turns out, I’m into that.” – Markiplier [40:35]

• Making a Movie, Exploding Across the Cosmos

  • Movie about “Landmines Incorporated” gets out of hand: sequential landmine explosions propel the protagonist to Mach 5, missing Mars, and entering a bizarre afterlife.
  • “Fortunately, as I blew past Mach 5, really started to wonder if I was gonna survive, I realized that my chest mounted GoPro was rolling.” – Markiplier [33:30]

• Magic Lamps Multiplying

  • Attempting to summon genies results in a roomful of battling genies and accidental splinters.
  • “Unfortunately, after summoning darn near 30 plus genies, I had the world at my fingertips, splintered though they may be. And I couldn't think of one thing that I would want...” – Markiplier [29:40]

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Notable Quotes:

• “It’s really… That’s really an us thing. Couldn’t tell you.” – Markiplier, on Distractible’s coin flips [06:20]
• “I love Dungeon Crawler Carl. What book are you on? I’m on book five.” – Bob [07:10]
• “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” – Bob (on Mark’s epic projects) [10:46]
• “I feel like after the result, I am too, because I’ve got friends that are Patriots fans, and I’m so glad I don’t have to live with that for eight months.” – Wade [06:30]
• “Is Bob cursed? Or is he an omen of cold or something like that?” – Wade [13:35]

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4. Scoring, The Wheel, and Winners ([41:18–48:50])

• Points are Tallied: Wade humorously tracks points, including categories like “walk point,” “lie point” (for Bob’s FNAF2 “cheat”) and “living in your car.”

• Wheel Segment: The crew improvises a solution when the literal "Wheel" is missing, spinning a screenshot via a random mouse gesture.

  • “I got a plan. Don’t worry about it. I got a plan.” – Markiplier [44:28]

• Rules Confusion: Joking confusion about "lie points," free parking, and podcast rules; an internal world of meta-gags about their own game mechanics.

• Final Scores:

  • Bob wins (12 points)
  • Mark gets (10 points after lie penalty)

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5. Winner & Loser Speeches ([48:50–50:05])

• Mark’s Loser Speech (in game style):
  • “Unfortunately, I lost this episode, but fortunately, I learned a lot doing it. Unfortunately, it’s not about what you learn, it’s about who you know. Fortunately, I know a lot of people. Unfortunately, I don’t know them by name, so they couldn’t help me.” – Markiplier [48:50]
• Bob’s Winner Reflection:
  • “It feels good to… I can’t believe I won. I can’t believe how many points you gave me for the terrible contributions I had for this episode. But I’m not gonna question it because I earned that. Apparently.” – Bob [49:13]
• Wade’s Final Thoughts:
  • Praises the improv energy and says, “Some of these did not go anywhere where I even imagined they could, especially that one.” [41:20]
  • Encourages following the podcast and teases future episodes.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Episode Introduction: [02:25]
• Mark’s Bowling Alley Florida story: [05:34]
• Bob’s Book Obsession: [07:10]
• FNAF “Cheat” Confession: [10:58]
• Haunted House story escalates: [37:52–41:07]
• PCP Werebears Improv: [19:52–21:44]
• Wheel Improv Segment: [44:28–47:28]
• Winner Announcement: [48:50]
• Closing Remarks: [50:05]

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Tone & Style

• Language: Casual, playful, and occasionally absurd
• Structure: Freewheeling, with segues from real-life stories to meta and fictional scenarios
• Banter: Regular friendly teasing, self-deprecation, in-jokes and references for longtime fans
• Memorable recurring bit: The ever-mysterious (and always problematic) point system and wheel

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Conclusion

This episode is a shining example of Distractible’s strengths: genuine camaraderie, unpredictably funny improv, and the ability to spin nonsense into something memorable. With the “Fortunately, Unfortunately” framework, Mark, Bob, and Wade tackle everything from existential crises to outlandish comedy set pieces, making it an entertaining listen whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer.

Note: For full effect, this sitting-around-with-friends energy works best unabridged, but this summary covers all the chaotic highlights and running gags.

Transcript

[Markiplier]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. It happens. Set out in the new year, ready to change your world, and by February you're back into your old routine, doing all the same stuff. It happens. We've all been there. It happens. This year I'm going to try. I actually do have a plan. I wouldn't say it's fully in place, but I'm going to put in the effort so it'd be healthier.

[Bob]

You know.

[Markiplier]

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[Bob]

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[Markiplier]

This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T mobile 5G home Internet. The folks over at T Mobile have some big news for you. They now have the fastest 5G home Internet according to the experts at OOKLA Speed Test. So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a 5 year price guarantee, visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check availability. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply Fastest based on OOKLA Speed test intelligence data second half 2025 all rights reserved.

[Narrator]

Good evening Gentle listeners or watchers. And welcome to Distractable. This episode, Wangling Wade calls for more FNAF plugs Piaget then institutes relay yarn spinning. Bilbo Bob does burlesque bowling, gets hexed, commits to comedy and smokes a brisket mercantile. Mark gets his dungeon on delays. His multilingual God board describes PCP werebears and rubs gin. Asshole. From xylophone confinement to spectral sexual attentions, it's time for fortunately. Unfortunately. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the.

[Bob]

Hello, everybody.

[Wade]

Welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I'm today's host, Quaid. I'm joined by Mark and our friend in witness protection, Bob.

[Bob]

Hello. He might be in jail.

[Markiplier]

Let me out. Let me out.

[Wade]

Good thing they put him in that xylophone.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Markiplier]

Guys, I'm trapped under a musical instrument. Help.

[Bob]

Oh, no.

[Wade]

If you never joined the show, you're not missing much. Except for everything. Go back and watch every episode at least three times. Then you'll know what we're about. One of us hosts, the other two compete for points. Whoever has the most gets to host the next episode. I won the last one, so here we are. Yeah.

[Markiplier]

We didn't choose this. It's not our fault Wade's hosting.

[Wade]

You gotta say, normally in our small talk, we just allow whoever's got whatever to jump in. And that's how it's gonna be this time, too. What's new?

[Bob]

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.

[Markiplier]

Let's go for a walk, boys. Oh, man.

[Bob]

I went early. He's gonna know how to. He's gonna know how to beat this. Yeah.

[Markiplier]

Look, look. Here's my hobbit hole.

[Wade]

Keep it up, Mark. He'll eventually play.

[Markiplier]

Hang on, I'll catch on. Hang on.

[Bob]

Wait.

[Wade]

Do it again.

[Markiplier]

Do it again.

[Wade]

Wait.

[Bob]

You don't get to see what I got. I already. I already rolled.

[Wade]

Oh. He played eeny, meeny, miny, mo. But with rock, paper and scissors.

[Markiplier]

It looks like track this, Editors. Peace me out.

[Bob]

There's paper. You win.

[Wade]

I thought he was creatively putting paper on a rock so he had both.

[Markiplier]

You can do your small talk while I'm walking around this bowling alley that I'm in.

[Wade]

Why are you in a bowling alley?

[Markiplier]

Hi. We're recording the podcast right now. There's people over here.

[Bob]

Who? Strangers.

[Markiplier]

Mandy.

[Bob]

Strangers.

[Markiplier]

Random. Yeah.

[Wade]

Strangers.

[Markiplier]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Strangers. Strangers.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Markiplier]

This, this. And there's balls.

[Wade]

Crucial to any bowling endeavor.

[Markiplier]

It's a bowling alley.

[Wade]

The evidence does point toward it being a bowling alley.

[Bob]

I kind of agree. It might be A bowling alley.

[Markiplier]

I like the lighting out here. Maybe I'll just sit on the bowling lane. Is that allowed?

[Bob]

I don't know if anyone's gonna stop you.

[Markiplier]

Hi. This is my. This is my position. How do you like the angle?

[Wade]

You look like you're on a stage at a strip club with the flashing lights.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Wade]

Colors behind you.

[Bob]

It' good stuff. I've kind of got a 144p view of everything, so it's just a big, colorful schmear.

[Markiplier]

Anyway, that's what we got going on.

[Wade]

What a what? A camera pickup. Right between the legs, straight up.

[Bob]

Hey, I'm not complaining. No one's complaining.

[Markiplier]

Seriously, though, we're in a house in Florida, in Orlando, and there's just bowling alley on the second floor of the house.

[Bob]

It reminds me of the who Killed Markiplier Castle that we rented. Just, like, with the most random rooms in it. This is a great place.

[Markiplier]

Also, all the rooms are themed, and the room that I'm recording from is the Hobbit. So, like, literally, it's a bedroom.

[Wade]

I remember when Bilbo and Gandalf shared a bunk bed during their college years.

[Markiplier]

There's also a hot tub here. I considered doing the episode from the hot tub, but it turns out everyone else who's staying at this house also wants to use the hot tub. And they were like, don't do that. We're using the hot tub. Don't do that. I was like, fine, bitches.

[Wade]

You should have had a coin flip for it.

[Markiplier]

Turns out outside of our show, people are not into that.

[Bob]

Oh, I wonder why. That doesn't make any sense.

[Markiplier]

It's really. That's really an us thing. Couldn't tell you.

[Bob]

Ridiculous.

[Markiplier]

Anyway, that's my whole small talk. We're going to Disney. We're going to Disney. I watched super bowl, and we're going to Disney.

[Wade]

I mean, I feel like after the result, I am, too, because I've got friends that are Patriots fans, and I'm so glad I don't have to live with that for eight months.

[Markiplier]

Like Tyler, notorious Patriots fan and Tom Brady aficionado Tyler.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

He is devastated.

[Wade]

Tyler's favorite number 12. Brady's number 12. I mean, evidence is right there. There's infinite numbers that they both could have chosen, and they chose the same one.

[Bob]

That's true. Weirdly enough, a lot of people have picked infinity as their favorite number. And so statistically that should be impossible, but statistics can go fuck themselves.

[Wade]

See, people thought that about me, but I just picked an 8. That was napping got him.

[Bob]

Oh, I get it. All right, enough silliness. It's my turn for small talk. I love Dungeon Crawler. Carl, what book are you on? I'm on book five.

[Markiplier]

Jesus fuck. God. That was not that long ago.

[Bob]

I know. One weekend. See, the thing is, now that I'm not working on the movie, I have a lot of time on my hands. So I get to read a book, which is so. So I actually read five books. Well, four books. I've just started five. So I'm not. I'm not very far into it.

[Wade]

How many are out right now?

[Bob]

7, 8. I don't know, something like that.

[Markiplier]

78 comes out in a couple months.

[Bob]

Or two or something. I read books like I chew packs of gum. All of it at once, and then I. I don't make it last at all.

[Markiplier]

I'm sure we've talked about that, but the way Mark chews, chews gum is very disconcerting.

[Wade]

Isn't there like an offensive or defensive coordinator in the NFL that like, just has, like a huge wad of gum in their mouth?

[Bob]

That's how you get the most flavor.

[Markiplier]

Offensive coordinator Mark.

[Bob]

You know, it's funny, Bob, you said that a certain party would get slow and you just have to slog through it. I never felt that at all. Maybe because I was just going so fast. I just didn't get to the slow part. But I enjoyed it all.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, well, if you ever take a break from reading them, it might feel that way. But if you read them straight through, you know, it doesn't even happen. Impossible.

[Bob]

I loved all. I love reading the spell and the ability descriptions. Like I could. If the whole book was basically just reading what they did and what the AI was saying is just like. And basically that is the whole book. But it's like that's. That's some of my favorite part. I don't know why, but it's just. I like it a lot.

[Markiplier]

If you really like the AI, 6 and 7 are going to knock your socks off.

[Bob]

He said it.

[Wade]

He said the thing.

[Markiplier]

What? Do I say that a lot? Oh, I said six and seven. Isn't it just six, seven.

[Bob]

Oh, you said it again.

[Markiplier]

You got me.

[Bob]

I didn't do it. It wasn't me, I swear. Also, to deal with the crushing boredom of not making things, I'm just about to any day now. I'm going to start working out again any minute now. I'm really feeling.

[Wade]

Yeah, me too. Man.

[Bob]

I realized how pathetic that sounded as it was coming out. But no, I feel like Man, I really got to get in shape, you know, I have to look, you know when you're not doing anything that consumes your life and you just stare in the mirror at yourself or you're like, oh my God.

[Markiplier]

My entire life.

[Wade]

Yeah, I was gonna say, man. Yeah, I don't know any different.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. And so you just gotta. You gotta look at your fleshy body and be like, I guess I should do something about this. So, yeah, I've been doing that. I want to learn Korean, I want to learn Spanish. I want to do all these things.

[Markiplier]

Thinking about working out.

[Wade]

What are.

[Markiplier]

What, what of that have you been doing if you haven't actually been working out?

[Bob]

I've been doing the thinking about it. I've been doing the thing.

[Markiplier]

Okay, good.

[Bob]

That's what I mean. Been doing a lot of the staring in the mirror, thinking about all the shortcomings I have.

[Wade]

Well, if that counts. Yeah. I mean, I've been exercising for 20 years straight.

[Bob]

Look, I'm confessing my own shortcomings here. I'm just saying. Well, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm saying that I'm not doing those things, but I'm really about to. I'm on the precipice.

[Wade]

Yeah, me too.

[Markiplier]

Those are good things to do. But you do know you're allowed to make stuff, Mark. That's not a thing that consumes your entire being for three to five years at a time. You could do a thing where it's like for. For one day or even like a couple solid days. You're like, oh, it's consuming me. And then you finish it and you're like, oh, I made that. And it's a thing that you made?

[Bob]

I don't think so.

[Markiplier]

Your next project is going to be a 10 year long, three movie trilogy that you film at it and release all in one big. You only know how to escalate, huh?

[Bob]

Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Wade]

I'm excited for the let's replay FNAF 202020202020 modes.

[Bob]

I have thought about that too, because I got called out for cheating at FNAF2's 2020 mode. Did you?

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Yeah, totally. I can't remember. I can't remember it at all, what the circumstances are, but I looked, there was a video that someone did a whole essay on. I didn't watch it, but I was like, yeah, it sounds like that sounds right. I'm pretty sure I did that. And I think Scott covered for me. I Know he did, because I believe he patched in something in the game to, like, add a star where there wasn't a star when he win. When I first did it and he patched it in or something like that. Again, I can't remember. I'd have to watch the video, but it's just. I can't remember why or how or when, but. But yeah, I did that. The other ones were real, though, Wink.

[Markiplier]

I'm sure Mark's in a big hurry to get back to that right after he finishes Ben at Foddy again.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, actually, I. I've played that casually on my own, and I have beaten it since. Since I played it. It's.

[Markiplier]

Did you throw any more chairs or was it fun?

[Bob]

It was weirdly fun the second time around because I. I understood the mechanics a bit better. It's like what speedrunners, you know, they get addicted to the actual cycle, and I didn't want to speedrun it, but I was just like, casually. I fired it up and I was playing it a bit.

[Markiplier]

It was.

[Bob]

It wasn't bad. I liked it.

[Wade]

But as with the record, to show, I gave you a lie point for lying about FNAF2.

[Bob]

Thank you.

[Wade]

But the. The. The wheel that may or may not exist could make that absolutely okay.

[Bob]

All right. No FNAF Ultimate Custom Night. I do think I want to try to beat that as, like, either I have to do a stream where I stream FNAF2 and then beat the 20 mode, which would be hilarious because my. I don't remember how to do any of that. All my gamer instincts are so atrophied. And didn't the first 20.

[Wade]

20. 20 mode take you, like, 20 hours or something?

[Bob]

No, it took me like seven or eight. I forget what it was.

[Wade]

I thought. Okay, I thought the first one was crazy long.

[Markiplier]

Yeah.

[Bob]

No, if I remember correctly, the second one, I was doing it for like something like 12 hours or something. And I think the situation was like, the next day I had to leave town or something. So if I waited, I wouldn't get the 20 mode or something, and then I would be. I'd be a fraud or something. I don't know.

[Markiplier]

You'd be a loser.

[Wade]

Good thing you're not.

[Bob]

Good thing I'm not. Unless I lose this episode, and then I will be a loser.

[Wade]

Well, you're off to a start.

[Bob]

All right, that's all I hope for.

[Wade]

Now that Bob's out of town. I gotta tell you, Bob, I don't know if this is true or not. Because I've not gotten to step outside as per typical on Tuesdays. But my computer tells me it's 61 degrees outside today, and it's been like 20 for the last month and a half. So I think maybe all of our snow is melting and Bob left town to go to Florida, and all of a sudden we have the most beautiful weather we've had probably ever.

[Markiplier]

My phone thinks it's 60 degrees at our house.

[Wade]

Yeah, 61. 60. Yeah, I thought it was only supposed to be 47 today, but it says 60.

[Bob]

So is Bob cursed? Is Bob cursed? Or is he an omen of cold or something like that?

[Wade]

He's the Cold Miser. Remember the. I'm Mr. Cold miser.

[Bob]

I don't think it was Mr. Cold miser.

[Wade]

You should, because I'm the host. Host's always right.

[Bob]

Well, it.

[Markiplier]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bob]

That's not how it goes. Well, how it goes is the host can say whatever they want and attribute points accordingly. That doesn't make it truth. I say Bob'.

[Markiplier]

Oh, I'm in this room.

[Bob]

So what's happening to him?

[Wade]

He's cursed. You cursed him.

[Bob]

No, he was cursed. I didn't curse him. I wasn't the curser.

[Wade]

I think we all just watched you curse him.

[Bob]

No, he's the cursee.

[Markiplier]

I have to do the rest of this episode in this cla. Oh, this broken closet. All right, this is my curse. Bye.

[Bob]

No, no, no, no. People in the closet aren't cursed. That's not how that works. Well, I'm gone.

[Wade]

I'm a ghost.

[Bob]

Oh, my God. He's actually gone. Wait, no, hold on.

[Wade]

Actually, I don't have object permanence, so I'm scared.

[Bob]

Oh, that gave me.

[Markiplier]

What? Really?

[Bob]

I was like. Where did you go?

[Wade]

What the.

[Bob]

Is that Mark?

[Markiplier]

I need to borrow your tape.

[Bob]

No. Oh, my God. You can have it.

[Wade]

Jesus Christ.

[Bob]

Where'd he go? It was a ghost.

[Markiplier]

It was a ghost hand.

[Bob]

This is why we're the top fif. In the top 50 of best podcasts in the world. This right here is why Are we still there?

[Wade]

Are we still top 50?

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Markiplier]

Oh, yeah.

[Wade]

Specifically comedy, though, right?

[Markiplier]

No, no, we're like. We're, like, 32 overall, and we're in, like, the top 15 of comedy.

[Bob]

We're 29.

[Wade]

Oh, thank God. There was that plug for Distractible and Iron Lung that really boosted our numbers.

[Markiplier]

Speaking of stuff that surprised me, did you guys see that we're nominated for the iHeartMusic Podcast Awards.

[Bob]

For what?

[Markiplier]

What do we do for best comedy podcast and best ad reads, which is just hilarious.

[Wade]

Oh.

[Bob]

That was two years ago, man.

[Narrator]

Everyone.

[Markiplier]

Everyone's still living on the old mug root beer read.

[Wade]

I hope we win.

[Markiplier]

I'm sure I'll find out. The same way I found out we were nominated from a Reddit post from a thing that was unrelated to us. I just happened to see distractible in it.

[Wade]

That's cool, though. I mean, I'll take it.

[Bob]

Yeah, I'm done with my small talk.

[Markiplier]

If there's voting, hey, vote for us.

[Wade]

Do the thing if there is a thing. Otherwise, don't do it.

[Markiplier]

Santa Claus likes when you vote for distractable.

[Wade]

You want to be on the nice list. Or if you prefer the naughty, he'll put you there, too. I've got no other small talk other than, yep, super bowl happened. Did you guys know the wedding during the halftime show is real?

[Bob]

Yes, I heard about that. Yeah.

[Wade]

Watching it, I was like, I don't know why there's a wedding. And then I thought it was like, oh, that's a real wedding. That's one of the coolest things ever. Imagine getting married during a halftime show.

[Markiplier]

It's a wedding because they got married, Wade. That's what happens.

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[Markiplier]

This episode is brought to you by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. You already know the T Mobile 5G Home Internet is ridiculously easy to set up with a price that doesn't feel like you're getting scammed every month. But here's something new worth noting. T Mobile now is the fastest 5G home Internet according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test.

[Bob]

No, seriously, their 5G home Internet speeds are officially the fastest. Which means that when you're downloading all your movies that aren't mine, every single one except for mine, you'll get them at the fastest speeds possible, along with all your video calls and uploading files and maybe even streaming something in the background, you know.

[Wade]

And yeah, it is still a great value backed by a five year price guarantee so your bill doesn't slowly creep up when you're not paying attention. So if you want the fastest 5G home Internet for the simple setup and savings that actually stick. Head over to t-mobile.com homeinternet to check availability today. Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply fastest based on oops. Speed test intelligence data. Second half 2025. All rights reserved. So I guess I'll get us started in the actual episode. I don't think we've ever done this before, but then again, I've got the memory of a goldfish, so I could be wrong. It's a pretty simple game. It's just called fortunately, Unfortunately. I was talking to Molly about different ideas, and we were thinking about different, like, word games and stuff. And fortunately, unfortunately is very simple. I give, like, a one sentence prompt, and then you guys will alternate and you just say a sentence that begins with the word fortunately or unfortunately, and then the next person has to do the opposite. You guys go back and forth and create a fun story. So I've got some prompts here, and I guess we can do our thing of flipping a coin to see who goes first. I feel like whenever I'm part of the coin flip, I'm always heads. Whenever I flip a coin for you too, I don't think it's ever a thing. Do you guys have one assigned?

[Bob]

It's ever what?

[Wade]

Huh? You guys are never. You guys aren't permanently assigned to one side of the coin, right?

[Bob]

You flip a coin, there's a mysterious third option that pops up.

[Markiplier]

What?

[Bob]

What do you say?

[Wade]

Well, I feel like I'm assigned heads like when Bob flips a coin. Maybe when you flip a coin, but when I flip one, I don't have you two assigned to a heads or a tail.

[Bob]

Well, which one do I look like?

[Wade]

Tail.

[Bob]

Come on, man.

[Markiplier]

Hooray. Hey.

[Bob]

Okay, so I'm. You're gonna say the sentence, and then I start with either fortunately or unfortunately, or do I have to start with one?

[Wade]

I had it assigned, but if you want to change it up, I guess you could.

[Bob]

No, no. Do with what you assigned first.

[Wade]

Okay, I have you going unfortunately first. So again, the way this works, I'll give a sentence, mark to start since unfortunately. Bob, you'll respond with fortunately, and Mark will go back to unfortunately, and you guys will keep going until we get to some conclusion to the story.

[Markiplier]

This is not a game where we have to, like, keep restating the whole thing, right? We just. We're just building.

[Wade]

You're just telling a story. You don't have to repeat, repeat, or anything. Keep it easy, keep it fun, relaxed. Mark, your prompt is Simple. I decided to go for a walk.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, there was a pack of rabid bears in the area.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I had remembered to bring my bear spray.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, my bear spray was empty.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, it was a great distraction to throw it while I ran away.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, all the bears were hopped up on PCP and they were 10 times faster than a human male.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, the closer they came to catching me, the more of a contact high I gained from them. So it was like a speed boost while I made my escape.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, we just so happened to run through the police officer convention and we were clearly high on pcp.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, as the Chief of Police, everybody already knew how I was, so they were like, hey, don't stop running, the bears are coming.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, I had misdiagnosed the PCP bears as not just PCP bears, but PCP werebears. They bit all the other police officers and turned into were bears and also got the contact eye.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I'm a great comedian, so when they turned into werebears, I turned and stopped and was like, wait, wait, wait, werebears. And they said, yes, werebears. And I said, they're bears. And they said, we bears. I said, yeah, but where bears? And we did that for 40 minutes till the PCP wore off.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, I had booked for a 60 minute show, so I had 20 minutes left and these guys were crashing hard. They were not happy. My comedian score on the comedian scoring website is toast.

[Markiplier]

Oh, all right. Well, yeah, what's the. What ends this?

[Wade]

Whenever we feel like it's a. Whenever we feel like it's a good stop. There's not really a we'll lean on.

[Bob]

You to say scene.

[Wade]

That feels like a good one. Yeah.

[Bob]

All right. Okay.

[Wade]

Trying to figure out how to assign points for that one, but I'm working on it.

[Markiplier]

Hey, it's your game, man. We're just playing.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah, we're just. We're goofing.

[Wade]

The next one starts with fortunately, but then it'll rotate. So I know you just did these, but it'll. You'll see, it'll flip the next round. So you'll be doing unfortunately twice in a row. Mark and Bob, you'll be doing fortunately twice in a row, then we'll flip.

[Bob]

Whatever you say, man.

[Wade]

In my brain, when I wrote these out, I was like, ah. I'll start a prompt with unfortunately, then fortunately, then unfortunately, then fortunately. But I forgot that you guys also flip flops and you just stay the same.

[Bob]

It's all good, man.

[Wade]

Bob, another simple prompt for you. This feels right up your alley. Actually, yeah, this one worked out really well for you. I think working on cars is a passion of mine. Unfortunately, it's where you'll start.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I already own my dream car, so I get to live my passion every day.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, having achieved my dream so early in life, I have no hills to climb. And now there's a noose that's staring at me from the garage ceiling.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I'm not very good at tying knots, so the knot I tied wouldn't tighten and I just keep falling out of it. So I guess I'll live.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, my wife storms in and is upset about spend all our life savings on a stupid car.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I found this necklace outside on the street. It must have slipped right off your neck, sweetheart. Distract her.

[Bob]

Wait, hold on, let me back up. Is the necklace a necklace or did you grab the noose?

[Markiplier]

No, no, it's a necklace.

[Wade]

It's a. I also thought it was the noose.

[Bob]

I thought it was the noose.

[Markiplier]

I'm stealing this bit from Catch Me if youf Can. It's a one to one joke ripoff. Don't worry. Plus, the knot wasn't right, so it wouldn't work anyway.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, my wife came back with logic and said either I spent more money and we're now in debt or I stole it from someone and now I'm on the lamb. I don't even like lamb.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I had a side of beef in the freezer, so I offered to smoke my wife some brisket as an apology dinner. Cause nobody likes lamb.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, she all her response was just, are you serious right now? As if beef wouldn't solve all of our problems. Which she said it wouldn't. So I guess I'm not welcome in my home anymore.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, as it turns out, you can live in cars and I love those. And I have one, so I'm living in my car now.

[Bob]

I mean, that seems like a happy ending.

[Wade]

Yeah. Fortunately, you're in your car. What way to bring it back? I don't know where we're gonna go. Starting off with a nice noose and then the necklace gift. I really thought that was going.

[Markiplier]

It's messed up, man. Who would do that?

[Wade]

All right, Mark, this time you start with fortunately.

[Bob]

Okay.

[Wade]

One day I woke up to find myself shackled in a jail cell.

[Bob]

Fortunately, as the world's greatest magician, slappist slash escape artist, I knew exactly how to get out predicament and have been training for it all my life.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, my jailer appeared at the door just at that moment. And it was my Arch nemesis and slightly better magician and escape artist, Entrapo.

[Bob]

Fortunately, I knew Entrapo's greatest weakness. He couldn't resist the perfect crime with which I had the plans in my pocket and pretend I threw it behind him to make him go after it, giving me a chance to escape.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, Entrapo was so enthralled by my greatest, perfectest crime plans that he excitedly wheeled around to try and catch the plans that I tossed. And he smacked his head on the wall of the jail and collapsed into a heap. And then if in the background you hear Etrefo. Locked down the whole jail.

[Bob]

To clarify, when you say wheeled around, he's not in a wheelchair, is he?

[Markiplier]

No, no. He. That's a phrase. No, no, he was like that. It means to turn around quickly, isn't it?

[Bob]

I just pictured in Trevo just for some reason. Wheelchair. That's not funny, by the way.

[Wade]

All right, put Mark in Guam.

[Bob]

Put me in Guam. Fortunately, I knew of one power that could get me out of this situation. I raised one finger. First this finger, and then I raise the other to the security camera and I say, editors, put me in Guam. The teleporter activates and I zip out of there.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, Guam is located at the deepest depths of the Marianas Trench, as far as I know. So I found myself trapped in the depths of the ocean.

[Bob]

Fortunately, I was a live streamer who had a 24.7stream going on, and my views were jumping like you wouldn't believe. All I had to do was escape Mariana's Trench and I would be cemented as better than Entrapo.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, due to some past misjudgments and misdates on my part, the only platform I was still allowed to stream on.

[Bob]

Was X. Fortunately, after I failed my escape attempt and died, Grock will be able to keep me alive in people's memories, escaping random bullshit nonsense forever. Thanks, AI.

[Wade]

Editor's note Grock did not actually help Mark in Guam.

[Markiplier]

Little do you know, he didn't help him in Guam. He just recreated his likeness so that he could live on forever.

[Wade]

I feel like Grock's the no butt of improv, isn't it?

[Bob]

In a way. In a way. In a way. Everyone needs that. Bob.

[Wade]

You are unfortunately again on this one and you will lead us off. Searching through an old attic, I came across what looked like a magic lamp.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, it looked like it done already had been rubbed.

[Bob]

Fortunately, there was another lamp right next to it. What are the odds?

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, when I went to rub that second new lamp, I actually rubbed the first one and nothing happened. Didn't see that coming, did you?

[Wade]

What a twist.

[Bob]

Fortunately, outside of the now two lamps, I looked to the other side of me and there was a third lamp there my eyes went.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, once I got my eyes back in their sockets and I successfully rubbed the third lamp, the genie that came out was a real a hole.

[Bob]

Fortunately, I know how to deal with a holes. I turned around. Oh, another lamp. Don't need you anymore, jackass. It might have. It might be that second lamp. I can't remember.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, I once again tried to rub this new and or second lamp and missed completely, falling down and getting a wicked splinter right on my finger.

[Bob]

Fortunately, I don't need one finger to rub things. I've got nine more. So I just started rubbing all around everything and eventually my finger touched one of the lamps. Maybe a new one.

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, after summoning darn near 30 plus genies, I had the world at my fingertips, splintered though they may be. And I couldn't think of one thing that I would want and that was better than what I already had.

[Bob]

Fortunately. I remember what my mama always told me. Some, some, some, some, some nonsense, yada yada, the friends along the way. And now I had a room full of friends. What more could I possibly wish for?

[Markiplier]

Unfortunately, genies are really meant to be solitary creatures and they did not get along. Turns out there are rules about the genie hurting the person who rubs the lamp, but there's basically no rules about genies hurting other genies. By the time the massacre was over, I had one genie and three wishes left.

[Wade]

Look how these sentences are becoming their own little mini stories.

[Markiplier]

It's almost one sentence. There was a cause, a comma and a semicolon is one sentence, comma clause.

[Wade]

I can't argue the comma clause.

[Bob]

Fortunately, that asshole genie died in the massacre, and I was well left with someone who was really out of breath, but probably not an asshole. So I asked for my first wish, which was more friends and or lamps.

[Wade]

I. Good. I don't know if I can go through the loop of you guys rubbing the wrong lips again. All right, here we go. Mark, you are unfortunately this time.

[Bob]

Okay?

[Wade]

It's weird the way that this worked out because I swear I didn't set it up this way, but I decided to make my own movie.

[Bob]

I decided to make my own movie. Unfortunately, man, nothing went wrong. You know, how could I even. Unfortunately, unfortunately, the journey would be much longer than I anticipated and have far more obstacles than I could have ever planned for.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, no matter how long and torturous. The journey. It starts with one step, which I.

[Bob]

Took, unfortunately, the subject matter of my movie, Landmines Incorporated. I decided to go as practical and possible. And that first step had me directly on top of the first landmine of many.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I've never quit anything in my entire life. So no matter how many landmines I walked across, I just kept a going.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, there was some kind of a of a propulsion factor to this. So as I started going across the landmines, it would explode me into the next one and I would accelerate the explosions. Why did I put them all in one line?

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, sometime as I approached the speed of sound, I realized exactly what this film needed. Eureka. I'm not gonna give you everything.

[Wade]

Oh.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, just about as I was hitting Mach 2, I I realized I forgot to hit record on the camera all the way back at the beginning.

[Markiplier]

This is a complete aside. I just love the visual of Mark with the iron lung set. Just like everything set and like. All right, scene dude, whatever. Take three. Oh, I gotta roll the second camera. It's just you by yourself in a huge studio.

[Bob]

Like, look, it's not too far off. Some of those pickup nights, it's not too far off.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, as I blew past Mach 5, really started to wonder if I was gonna survive, I realized that my chest mounted GoPro was rolling. So I'd have one hell of a POV shot.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, in an opposite fashion from the Red Bull guy who dropped from space, once you hit a certain speed, you gain lift no matter how aerodynamic you are. And I realized this chain of explosions was only gonna make me reach escape velocity on the last possible bounce. And I had just so happened to space them perfectly that I could see the last mine that would bounce me out of the stratosphere. Approaching.

[Wade]

Man, I love the kava clause.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, just as I bounced off that last mine, I had the clarity of focus to make my last act as a living person of Earth. To rip the chest mounted camera off and spike it down as I flew off into space so that someday someone would discover my brilliant movie.

[Bob]

Don't ask. What just happened to my headphones? They are askew.

[Wade]

I really want to know, but I guess you told me not to ask, so I can't.

[Markiplier]

He said not to ask.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, no movie studio wanted to pick up my movie and it would be nigh impossible to self distribute given that I am currently on the way to Mars.

[Markiplier]

Oh well, fortunately I've always wanted to be one of the first humans to colonize Mars. And I'm not saying there's a good chance, but I am saying there's a chance that my new dream will come true.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, the extra velocity I gained by throwing my GoPro downwards towards Earth caused me to miss Mars by thaaat much. And then I skipped off of Phobos, which had a landmine just so happened to be on it. I'm on the way to the outer rim. Also, I died from not being able to breathe long ago.

[Wade]

I don't know how you top that one, Bob. I think he buttoned it off with his sixth comma.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, as I looked down from heaven at my long dead corpse on its endless journey through the through the universe, I realized that all of life is just one big joke anyway and none of it mattered to begin with. Yeah, that's a happy end, right?

[Wade]

All right. Yeah. I thought we had buttons like six times you guys kept going. I. That just started with I wanted to make a movie.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, you enter heaven with the momentum you carried from your doom and you go to the heaven of your last act. So I went to land mine heaven. Oh no.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, all the different heavens are separated by gates. And I was going so fast I just kept smashing through gate after gate knowing that eventually I'd burn off all my momentum and land in some kind of heaven.

[Bob]

Hopefully a soft one.

[Wade]

I'm just letting you guys go. Why? I write down points.

[Bob]

No, no, no. We're gonna.

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[Markiplier]

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[Wade]

Shop up to 50% off site wide plus a free professional measure during the President's Day mega sale happening right [e-mail] terms apply. Bob, I think you're first on this one and you are fortunately. Go to a haunted house. They said it'll be Fun, they said.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, it was very fun. I love haunted houses.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, when I arrived there, my rival ghost hunter Hunto was already on the scene, and he'd gotten all the good ghosts.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, Hunto's name was so goofy that all the ghosts he'd already introduced himself to wanted to come talk shit to me about how. How silly his crazy ass name was.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, after the laughing subsided, Hunto told us all that it was a very culturally relevant name that honored his ancestors and that we were all jerks for laughing at it. And I felt really bad. And all the. Well, the ghost didn't feel too bad, but I felt really bad.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I'm a big enough person to be able to admit when I'm wrong. And even though Hunto is my biggest rival, I sincerely apologize to because it's really not that hard to admit when you've been wrong about something. And I acknowledge that I should have known better. And when you know better, you do better.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, I realized that this would be a long road to earning that apology, and I had many, many, many acts of service to. To give him for all of the harm that I had caused, which, to be honest, compounding with the ghosts was pretty severe.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, it was immediately clear what my first act of service would be as I scooped up all of Hunto's gear and offered to carry it down to his sketchy van for him.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, right at that moment, my dead racist Uncle.

[Markiplier]

Bob.

[Bob]

Bob's the only name that comes up.

[Markiplier]

Interesting. Go on.

[Bob]

Came out of the woodwork literally, and was like, what are you doing with one of them hunt heads? And I said, oh, no, Uncle Bob. No. He made it worse.

[Wade]

Oh, my God. Was that the colon clause?

[Bob]

That was a parenthetical. That was a parenthetic. He made it worse.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, I was able to grovel and sufficiently kiss Hunto's ass quite literally so that ol. Uncle Bob's transgression could be overlooked.

[Bob]

Unfortunately, Hunto was recording the whole thing, and now viral clips of me literally kissing his ass are all over the Internet. And a super smash cut of all of Uncle Bob's most racist things, of which he was saying without stopping.

[Markiplier]

Fortunately, all of the clips of me groveling and crying and kissing Hunto's ass attract a very specific type of sexual attention. And as it turns out, I'm into that.

[Wade]

I put you guys in a haunted house. What happened?

[Markiplier]

You heard what happened?

[Bob]

Yeah, you heard it?

[Markiplier]

You mean what happened? You've been here the whole time. Is that the button? The sexual attraction?

[Wade]

I think it's a Button.

[Markiplier]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Doesn't get any worse than that.

[Wade]

Oh, man. I was going to do. I'm going to save it. We can do a part two at some point. Some of these take a while, so. Well, we'll. We'll button the buttons there. I hope you guys had fun with that. That was really funny. I enjoyed that.

[Bob]

Yeah. It's a big old improv exercise.

[Wade]

Some of these did not go anywhere where I even imagined they could, especially that one. Let me go through the points here. I don't like how close the score is. I know I might need to fudge this a little bit. Not that I would mark. You got a lie point for lying about beating FNAF2?

[Markiplier]

No. So I saw this. The subreddit pointed out once again that we are stupid. Lie points are supposed to count. The thing about lie points is that they're susceptible to lie modifications from the wheel, but they are. The subreddit would say they're just regular points that have the lie status, and that status is only triggered by wheel things.

[Wade]

But we have the thing that makes them absolute, which makes them count. I thought so. I thought they didn't count before.

[Bob]

No, you can apply a negative lie point.

[Markiplier]

No, you can get negative lie points. Points. But then if the absolute value is applied, then it switches that to.

[Wade]

Okay, well, I did write a negative one because I thought lie points were always negative. So this one is negative. But I. But part of that's because I thought they were by default.

[Bob]

Damn.

[Wade]

So you had a negative one lie point, I guess for lying about beating FNAF2. You got points for rock, paper, eeny, meeny, miny, moe. Bob left you hanging for a while.

[Bob]

Say, look who's using the parentheticals now.

[Wade]

I'm the host. I have privileges. You've been reading Dungeon Crawler Carl at a crazy pace. You have free time now. I gave you a point for being a FNAF cheat, even though I also took you one for the FNAF2 specifically, because, listen, FNAF2, I didn't like it, but in general. Yeah, I'm on. I'm on board with you. I have walk as a point. You got a walk point. I don't know why, but congrats. PCP bears something. It looks like it says hump. I don't think that's what it says. Guam Jail cell. Missed. Mars racist, Uncle Bob something. Landmines Incorporated. I really wish I knew what that hump one was supposed to say. Oh, walk was for the walk prompt. You won the walk prompt for a total of 11, mark, 11 minus one. So I guess 10. You have a total of 10 points. Okay, Bob, you got points for bowling. Post always right point. Because you agreed that I was right about something I said earlier. You gave us a house tour. You said the 67 meme. Your magic trick in the closet was amazing. Mark and I were both fascinated.

[Bob]

It was. Yeah, it was quite good.

[Wade]

Living in your car, distractible. Getting an Iheart award. You brought that up. Movie Heaven, Entrap, O Genies. The sincere apology to Hunto. And then Hunted. Sexual Attraction for a total of 12. So right now the score is 12 to Bob, 11 minus 1, giving 10 to Mark.

[Bob]

Oh, yeah. Wait a minute. We don't have the wheel.

[Markiplier]

Yeah. Guys, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to find the wheel.

[Bob]

I gotta be honest.

[Wade]

We could pretend we can picture it spinning.

[Markiplier]

There's an image from three months ago. Can we. Can we spin an outdated wheel?

[Wade]

The rules don't say we can't.

[Bob]

Yeah, there's nothing in the rules about that. Just says a wheel. Doesn't say what wheel.

[Wade]

So are you just gonna rotate it, or how are we gonna spin this image of a wheel?

[Markiplier]

I got a plan. I got a plan. I got a plan. I got a plan. Don't worry about it. I got a plan.

[Bob]

Holy shit. There's a wheel.

[Markiplier]

Do you see my mouse upon the wheel?

[Bob]

Yes. Yes, yes, yes.

[Markiplier]

I'm gonna look away and just move my mouse in a circle, and that'll be the spins.

[Bob]

I love it. I love it.

[Markiplier]

Wade, we have to decide how many spins we're gonna do. You have a coin?

[Wade]

I do. How do I get three out of this?

[Bob]

Oh, I see. I get it. I get it.

[Markiplier]

You're gonna flip the coin three times. Heads is a yes. Spin, and tails is not a spin. So flip. Flip. And then we get the number of spins that we're gonna do.

[Wade]

So we can have anywhere from zero to three. Technically with this.

[Bob]

Technically, yes.

[Markiplier]

Zero is not really usually an option, is there?

[Wade]

No, but it's fine. This. This is an exception.

[Markiplier]

There's no way we're gonna get zero.

[Bob]

There's no way.

[Markiplier]

No way we're gonna get zero.

[Wade]

You got our coins.

[Bob]

I apparently have a coin. So you're gonna. You're gonna flip. Flip.

[Wade]

I'll flip twice. I'll flip twice.

[Markiplier]

I'll flip my phone. I'll flip my phone. Screen his heads. I'll flip. I'll flip. I got stuff.

[Wade]

Screen is heads.

[Markiplier]

Screen his heads. Oh, God. Doesn't mean much. But I did get heads.

[Bob]

That's three spins. I'm still in the running.

[Markiplier]

All right, three spins. This cannot possibly be more fair than. Oh, what does that say?

[Bob]

Was that free parking?

[Markiplier]

Did you get free parking? Yeah, man.

[Bob]

Okay, now there's. We have to remember to put one point on free parking. We have to remember to retroactively.

[Markiplier]

Yeah, now we have to put a.

[Bob]

Point in free parking.

[Markiplier]

God damn it.

[Bob]

I'll Write it down. S1. Fucking hell. There's so much work.

[Wade]

Spin number two. I don't know why I started to close my eyes. Half point for Wade, I think.

[Bob]

Oh, off. God damn it. It was half point to Wade.

[Markiplier]

That's right.

[Bob]

It's either that or minus one to current loser. God damn it.

[Wade]

I mean, none of those are good for Mark. No point. Fuck you. Half point for Wade or minus one to current loser.

[Bob]

All right. I still got a chance, I think. Unless we haven't put those game break ones on here yet.

[Wade]

Well, we'll find out now.

[Markiplier]

We'll see, won't we?

[Wade]

I thought I was going. What, you.

[Bob]

Off with your free parking. Off with you.

[Markiplier]

No, I know that's a respin. That's. That's supposed to be disabled. That's supposed to be disabled. That's supposed to be disabled.

[Wade]

Okay. All right.

[Bob]

Okay. Okay.

[Wade]

Two spaces to the left.

[Bob]

10% to one man.

[Markiplier]

10% chance to one man show.

[Bob]

All right, we gotta add 10% to the one man show. Jesus Christ.

[Markiplier]

Why are we getting all the weird, complicated roles? I don't know.

[Bob]

You're spinning. What's your hand doing?

[Markiplier]

I wasn't even cheating. I was sincerely closing my eyes and looking away. This just makes me think that the usual spins are bullshit. That our wheel is chock full of interesting nonsense and we only ever get silly ones.

[Wade]

Well, to be fair, even when you did it, we got a dupe.

[Markiplier]

That's true.

[Wade]

All right, so free parking needs a point added right now. It says zero there. So no points added for that. Even if it does, do we know who it goes to if free parking gets points?

[Bob]

Oh, good question. Oh, you're so right. Oh, shit. Okay, here's what we need to do. We need to make another square that says flip a coin, the person gets free point. The free parking square. But free parking only ever adds points.

[Markiplier]

God. You know what, guys? I started to think that maybe some of these rules need to be revised or something in some kind of boat related episode.

[Wade]

Okay, so half point to me.

[Markiplier]

Yay.

[Wade]

I'm on the board. Free parking got a point. And then there's a 10% chance added a one man show, which means absolutely nothing changed between you two. And Bob, you win 12 mark. You had 10 mark. But you do get to win. Going first with the loser speech.

[Bob]

Hey, you know what? I. Unfortunately, I lost this episode, but fortunately, I learned a lot doing it. Unfortunately, it's not about what you learn, it's about who you know. Fortunately, I know a lot of people. Unfortunately, I don't know them by name, so they couldn't help me.

[Wade]

Well said, man. If there were still points to be given, I would have given some. For that Bob winner speech.

[Markiplier]

I feel pretty fortunate, you know, it feels. It feels good to. I can't believe I won. I can't believe how many points you gave me for the terrible contributions I had for this episode. But I'm not gonna question it because I earned that. Apparently. That was a fun game, though. But I have to say that was one of those improv games where some of them it's like the whole time it's just fun and you're like, yeah. Oh, that's so fun. That was one of the ones where it's probably good because it was pushing me outside of my very narrow comfort zone. The whole time I was like, oh.

[Bob]

God, I'm not funny.

[Markiplier]

Oh, this is just making me realize how bad I am at improv stuff. Oh, no, don't fall, computer. It's fine. So it was very, very good game. Thank you. I feel very dissatisfied with myself and undeserved.

[Wade]

I feel like I just got hit with fortunately and unfortunately about my game multiple times in that. But I'll take it.

[Markiplier]

I think that means it's a good improv game. I think it just means that I like to do the stuff I'm really comfortable with. I'm unadventurous and safe.

[Wade]

I didn't know what it would be like going in because we've never done it. But after having watched you guys do it, it felt like one of those improv games that Rachel would have put us through when we were practicing the essay ending. But I had fun. Hopefully everyone watching had fun. Congrats, Bob on the win. Mark. Well fought lot. You guys were very funny. I was entertained. Hopefully everyone watching was entertained. You can find these guys. Mark at markiplier, Bob at my skirmoremenion777 or lordminion777. We have merch sometimes at Distractible Shop, so keep an eye on that. More stuff will be coming hopefully soon. Otherwise, follow and watch the podcast, especially right here. Where you're watching right now. Keep doing that and I guess stay tuned for the next one with Bobblehost. We'll see what he gets us into. Until then, podcast out.

[Narrator]

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