Distractible Podcast – "Fortunately, Unfortunately"

Episode Summary & Key Highlights

Podcast: Distractible
Episode: Fortunately, Unfortunately
Release Date: Feb 16, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach (Markiplier), Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

Overview

This episode of Distractible is all about the classic improv game "Fortunately, Unfortunately." Host Wade leads Mark and Bob through wild, unpredictable, and hilariously winding narratives built one sentence at a time. Along the way, the trio covers everything from vacation antics and creative struggles to werebears on PCP and haunted house drama, while showcasing their knack for absurd storytelling, self-deprecating humor, and friendly banter.

Episode Structure

• [02:25] Podcast narrative introduction (colorful preview of what’s to come)
• [03:17–16:16] Small talk, tangents, and catch-up banter
• [17:38] Introduction and explanation of "Fortunately, Unfortunately"
• [19:39–41:07] Multiple rounds of "Fortunately, Unfortunately" game
• [41:18] Points tally, wheel spin, and winner announcement
• [48:50] Loser and winner speeches, reflections
• [50:05] Closing remarks

1. Small Talk & Banter ([03:17–16:16])

• Mark’s Location: Mark records from a Hobbit-themed room in a Florida house with a bowling alley. He jokes about wanting to use the hot tub but losing out in a housemate battle.

  • “Seriously, though, we’re in a house in Florida, in Orlando, and there’s just bowling alley on the second floor of the house.” – Markiplier [05:34]

• Disney Plans & Super Bowl: Mark mentions plans to go to Disney. Rivalry with friends over Super Bowl teams, especially Patriots fan Tyler, leads to some playful jabs.

• Book Obsession: Bob gushes about binge-reading the Dungeon Crawler Carl series after finishing a big movie project.

  • “I read books like I chew packs of gum. All of it at once, and then I... I don’t make it last at all.” – Bob [07:49]

• Fitness & Self-Improvement (or Lack Thereof): Both Bob and Wade admit to just thinking about working out, not actually doing it.

  • “I’ve been doing the thinking about it. I’ve been doing the thing.” – Bob [09:55]
  • “If that counts, yeah. I mean, I’ve been exercising for 20 years straight.” – Wade [10:02]

• Mark’s Projects: Gentle ribbing about Mark’s tendency to commit to massive projects.

  • “Your next project is going to be a 10-year long, three-movie trilogy that you film, edit, and release all in one big... You only know how to escalate, huh?” – Mark [10:37]

• FNAF Cheating Confession: Bob comes clean about allegedly cheating at FNAF2’s 20/20/20/20 mode. Mark and Wade tease him about potential streams or rematches.

  • “Yeah, totally. I can’t remember. I can’t remember it at all, what the circumstances are… And I think Scott covered for me.” – Bob [10:58]

• Weather Superstitions: Wade and Mark joke about Bob being “cursed” or bringing cold weather with him.

  • “Is Bob cursed? Or is he an omen of cold or something like that?” – Wade [13:35]

• Highlight: Mark’s brief, silly magic trick with a disappearing tape roll, mistaken for ghostly phenomena, elicits laughs.

2. Announcements & Podcast Meta ([15:04–16:18])

• Recognition of Distractible’s podcast chart success and iHeartRadio Podcast Awards nominations.
  • “No, no, we’re like… we’re, like, 32 overall, and we’re in, like, the top 15 of comedy.” – Markiplier [15:08]
  • “We’re 29.” – Bob [15:13]
  • “Best comedy podcast and best ad reads, which is just hilarious.” – Markiplier [15:26]

3. "Fortunately, Unfortunately" – Improv Game Segments ([19:39–41:07])

Game Explanation ([17:38])

Wade explains the rules: one person starts the story with a sentence, then Mark and Bob alternate adding to the story, prefacing each addition with “Fortunately” or “Unfortunately”.

Key Stories & Memorable Moments

• Rabid PCP Werebears Scenario

  • Mark and Bob spin a story involving bear spray, a police convention, and werebears on PCP.
  • “Fortunately, the closer they came to catching me, the more of a contact high I gained from them. So it was like a speed boost…” – Markiplier [20:18]
  • “Unfortunately, we just so happened to run through the police officer convention and we were clearly high on PCP.” – Bob [20:28]
  • Comedy highlight: extended “werebear / we bear / where bear” wordplay [21:01]

• Dream Car & Life Crisis

  • A story beginning with achieving a dream car twists dark—noose jokes, knot failures, marital strife, and brisket-based apologies.
  • “Fortunately, I found this necklace outside on the street. It must have slipped right off your neck, sweetheart.” – Markiplier [23:12, borrowing from 'Catch Me If You Can']

• Escaping Jail with Entrapo

  • Escape artist antics with a villain named Entrapo, fake perfect crime plans, and a detour to Guam and Mariana’s Trench.
  • “Fortunately, I knew Entrapo’s greatest weakness. He couldn’t resist the perfect crime…” – Bob [25:23]

• Haunted House Ghost Rivalry

  • Bob faces ghost hunter “Hunto” and deals with an awkwardly apologetic story that gets increasingly absurd, involving carrying gear, dead racist Uncle Bob, and eventually Mark “kissing Hunto’s ass” as acts of penance, which goes viral online.
  • “Fortunately, all of the clips of me groveling and crying and kissing Hunto’s ass attract a very specific type of sexual attention. And as it turns out, I’m into that.” – Markiplier [40:35]

• Making a Movie, Exploding Across the Cosmos

  • Movie about “Landmines Incorporated” gets out of hand: sequential landmine explosions propel the protagonist to Mach 5, missing Mars, and entering a bizarre afterlife.
  • “Fortunately, as I blew past Mach 5, really started to wonder if I was gonna survive, I realized that my chest mounted GoPro was rolling.” – Markiplier [33:30]

• Magic Lamps Multiplying

  • Attempting to summon genies results in a roomful of battling genies and accidental splinters.
  • “Unfortunately, after summoning darn near 30 plus genies, I had the world at my fingertips, splintered though they may be. And I couldn't think of one thing that I would want...” – Markiplier [29:40]

Notable Quotes:

• “It’s really… That’s really an us thing. Couldn’t tell you.” – Markiplier, on Distractible’s coin flips [06:20]
• “I love Dungeon Crawler Carl. What book are you on? I’m on book five.” – Bob [07:10]
• “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” – Bob (on Mark’s epic projects) [10:46]
• “I feel like after the result, I am too, because I’ve got friends that are Patriots fans, and I’m so glad I don’t have to live with that for eight months.” – Wade [06:30]
• “Is Bob cursed? Or is he an omen of cold or something like that?” – Wade [13:35]

4. Scoring, The Wheel, and Winners ([41:18–48:50])

• Points are Tallied: Wade humorously tracks points, including categories like “walk point,” “lie point” (for Bob’s FNAF2 “cheat”) and “living in your car.”

• Wheel Segment: The crew improvises a solution when the literal "Wheel" is missing, spinning a screenshot via a random mouse gesture.

  • “I got a plan. Don’t worry about it. I got a plan.” – Markiplier [44:28]

• Rules Confusion: Joking confusion about "lie points," free parking, and podcast rules; an internal world of meta-gags about their own game mechanics.

• Final Scores:

  • Bob wins (12 points)
  • Mark gets (10 points after lie penalty)

5. Winner & Loser Speeches ([48:50–50:05])

• Mark’s Loser Speech (in game style):
  • “Unfortunately, I lost this episode, but fortunately, I learned a lot doing it. Unfortunately, it’s not about what you learn, it’s about who you know. Fortunately, I know a lot of people. Unfortunately, I don’t know them by name, so they couldn’t help me.” – Markiplier [48:50]
• Bob’s Winner Reflection:
  • “It feels good to… I can’t believe I won. I can’t believe how many points you gave me for the terrible contributions I had for this episode. But I’m not gonna question it because I earned that. Apparently.” – Bob [49:13]
• Wade’s Final Thoughts:
  • Praises the improv energy and says, “Some of these did not go anywhere where I even imagined they could, especially that one.” [41:20]
  • Encourages following the podcast and teases future episodes.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Episode Introduction: [02:25]
• Mark’s Bowling Alley Florida story: [05:34]
• Bob’s Book Obsession: [07:10]
• FNAF “Cheat” Confession: [10:58]
• Haunted House story escalates: [37:52–41:07]
• PCP Werebears Improv: [19:52–21:44]
• Wheel Improv Segment: [44:28–47:28]
• Winner Announcement: [48:50]
• Closing Remarks: [50:05]

Tone & Style

• Language: Casual, playful, and occasionally absurd
• Structure: Freewheeling, with segues from real-life stories to meta and fictional scenarios
• Banter: Regular friendly teasing, self-deprecation, in-jokes and references for longtime fans
• Memorable recurring bit: The ever-mysterious (and always problematic) point system and wheel

Conclusion

This episode is a shining example of Distractible’s strengths: genuine camaraderie, unpredictably funny improv, and the ability to spin nonsense into something memorable. With the “Fortunately, Unfortunately” framework, Mark, Bob, and Wade tackle everything from existential crises to outlandish comedy set pieces, making it an entertaining listen whether you’re a longtime fan or a newcomer.

Note: For full effect, this sitting-around-with-friends energy works best unabridged, but this summary covers all the chaotic highlights and running gags.