Ghostly Moments (Compilation)

Summary

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Distractible: "Ghostly Moments (Compilation)" – Episode Summary

Release Date: March 1, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Overview

This episode of Distractible presents a compilation themed around "Ghostly Moments," blending comedic skepticism, personal ghost stories, and satirical ghost lore—all with the trio's signature banter and irreverence. Mark, Wade, and Bob dissect ghost-hunting gadgets, share personal spooky (and not-so-spooky) happenings, debate supernatural beliefs, and invent outlandish conspiracies. Listeners are treated to both playful debunking and comic invention, making for a hilarious and engaging exploration of the paranormal as only Distractible can deliver.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. The Great Ghost in the Basement Incident

• [03:07–05:44]
  • Bob spots a "shadowy figure" in DLive’s (guest or recurring friend) basement at the start of the episode, sparking frantic discussion about the reflection in a TV turned off. The confusion and mock-horror escalate as the "haunting" seems to repeat—prompting riffs on whether it's a prank, a real ghost, or just a lighting oddity.
  • Memorable quote:
    • Bob: "I swear. Something walked by." (03:41)
    • DLive: "I'm in a basement. I don't know what to tell you." (05:18)
  • Atmosphere: Playful paranoia, laughter through growing (mock) unease.

2. Are Ghosts Real? The Panel Verdict

• [07:30–08:30]
  • The hosts settle on the big existential question: "Are ghosts real?" Bob delivers a firm, "No. Final answer." (07:50), spurring joking threats that the episode could end right there.
  • The group then segues into ghost hunting TV tropes and devices (EMF readers, spirit/“talk” boxes, etc.):
    • DLive: "All that stuff is very entertaining and hilarious and bunk. Do you guys believe in any of that stuff?" (07:54)
    • Bob: "No, those shows. No. [...] EMF thing with, like, the radio where it cycles through... they’ll be like ‘a word came through’ and I’m like, yeah, you’re going through radio signal." (08:29)

3. Ghost Hunting Shows and Gadgets – Deep Dive

• [08:30–11:30]
  • The absurdity of ghost-hunting shows is lampooned: the suspenseful but inconclusive editing, the reliance on ambiguous EMF readings, and hilariously misinterpreted sound bites.
    • Bob: "They circle back to the same clip of, like, a little dot going through with a circle on it. And then the circle’s bigger and then it’s closer to the circle, and that can stretch that out for 10 minutes." (09:28)
  • The group loves the shows’ entertainment value but collectively doubts any scientific legitimacy.

4. Personal “Hauntings” and Strange Occurrences

• Hotel Door Slam ([10:05–11:40]):

  • DLive recalls repeated incidents of hotel doors being slammed during travel with his family, remarking on the creepiness—even if there’s a logical explanation.
    • DLive: "That shit has happened to me multiple times. How many people slam doors in hotels or am I just really unlucky?" (11:25)
  • Wade & Bob admit it's never happened to them, adding to the playful “something’s after you” sentiment.

• The Haunted New House ([12:25–16:12]):

  • DLive’s new house (back in Ohio) spooks the family: a sealed attic access panel in the garage keeps mysteriously opening wider over several days, despite no evidence of entry or animal activity.
    • DLive: "The house is haunted, you bastards." (15:42)
    • Bob: "That is haunted." (15:44)
  • The group speculates on plausible causes, from raccoons to “someone living in the attic” named “Crenfield,” with tongue thoroughly in cheek.
    • Wade: "They sold the house and didn’t tell Crenfield, the guy who lives in the attic." (16:12)

5. Ghost-Hunting: Personal Experiences

• [18:03–20:25]
  • Wade shares a real-life ghost-hunting story at Bobby Mackey’s in Newport, KY—a place with allegedly mobster-haunted history.
  • Discussion focuses on the taboo of Ouija boards—no one will touch one, but people will still shout at “ghosts” with all manner of gadgets.
    • Wade: "Punch me, ghost. But if you touch a Ouija board, you’re like, what is your name? They’re like, oh, don’t ask that. Not on a Ouija board. And the Ouija board like says fucking Parker Brothers on the bottom." (18:46)
    • DLive: "It’s ‘cause they’re real, Wade. The rest of that stuff is technological. Ouija boards are... just real." (19:04)

6. Ghost Lore: The “Hantu Tetek”

• [24:52–31:04]
  • DLive introduces the "Hantu Tetek," a Malaysian ghost/witch with giant back-breasts who smothers misbehaving boys. The group riffs on the absurdity—and cultural weirdness—of using this for childhood discipline.
    • DLive: "But the real absolute banger of all of this is the hilariously large fun bags are in the spookiest location, not in the front where regular boobs go. They're located on the ghost's back." (25:14)
    • Bob: "If it's a ghost, is it really actually going to be able to physically interact with you? It seems to suggest it might be some sort of poltergeist..." (25:58)
  • They explore the internet’s mix of thirst and horror about this myth; Bob and Wade note there’s a fine line between scary and... something else. The crew discusses cultural differences in what’s considered scary versus sexual.

7. Comic Musical Interludes & Skits

• Bob’s Ghostly Audio Bits ([21:10–23:22], [38:10–40:17]):

  • Mark and Bob surprise with self-produced, over-the-top audio mockumentaries and supernatural “theme” music.
  • Quote:
    • Wade: "Mark, it's so, so good. Sorry it was so loud." (39:56)
    • Bob explains he spent so long making the bit he forgot to think of a topic for the episode.

• Ghostbusters and Sushi Restaurant Commercial Parodies ([41:01–42:40]):

  • The group spins fake infomercials and spoofs (Ghostbusters, ghost-trapping gadgets using sushi as bait) as humorous asides.

8. Conspiracy Corner: Distractible as Shadowy Operation

• [44:35–52:54]
  • Mark and Wade spin an elaborate, satirical conspiracy theory: Bob is the head of “Project Distraction,” using the podcast as a front for psychic recruitment and data collection. Listener “Sarah Williams” gives testimony about cryptic emails, consciousness uploading, and shadowy disappearances.
    • Quote:
      • Bob (as ominous narrator, 45:35): "Bob Muyskins, host of the popular podcast Distractible, is in fact a cover for a sinister government operation known as Project Distraction."
    • Wade: "So you think like the public persona version is forming an audience just to have sheep to lead to the slaughter, so to speak?" (50:08)
    • Bob: "Absolutely... It’s Pied Piper leading them all into the machine slaughter." (50:15)
  • They emphasize this is for entertainment only, not to be taken seriously.

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• Bob: "I swear. Something walked by." (03:41)
• DLive: "If this is a prank, I'm pranking my own self here too. What the fuck is happening?" (04:06)
• Wade: "I'll give you 20 bucks to stand in front of this light while I'm recording and just walk back and forth." (04:10)
• DLive: "I want you to use science. I want you to use mysticism. ...Discuss the important topic of: Are ghosts real?" (07:30)
• Bob: "No. Final answer." (07:51)
• DLive: "All that stuff is very entertaining and hilarious and bunk." (07:54)
• Wade: "Suck my balls, ghost." (18:44)
• DLive: "They’re located on the ghost’s back." (25:14)
• Wade: "Each titty deserves to be judged on its own merits." (28:24)
• Bob: "I disagree fundamentally that bigger is always better when it comes to boobs." (27:58)
• DLive: "You can't throw something that, like, sexual... at least in the culture I came up in, boobs were sexual... That's how young boys' minds work." (31:04)
• Bob (narrating): "Bob Muyskins... is in fact a cover for a sinister government operation known as Project Distraction..." (45:35)
• DLive: "Remember, conspiracy theories are meant for entertainment purposes, not for taking seriously. So please don't go accusing anyone of secret syndicates." (52:17)

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Episode Mood & Tone

• Highly comedic, skeptical, and self-aware—mocking both the paranormal and themselves.
• Frequent use of tongue-in-cheek, self-deprecating jokes and playful jabs.
• Light-hearted engagement with "scary" themes, never taking things too seriously.
• Quick-paced, with numerous tangents and comic riffs.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment | |--------------|------------------------------------------------| | 03:07–05:44 | Shadowy figure in DLive’s basement | | 07:30–08:30 | "Are ghosts real?" panel | | 08:30–11:30 | Ghost-hunting shows/gadgets discussion | | 12:25–16:12 | DLive’s haunted house attic story | | 18:03–20:25 | Wade’s real ghost hunt at Bobby Mackey’s | | 24:52–31:04 | Hantu Tetek Malaysian ghost lore | | 38:10–40:17 | Bob/Mark's audio parody interlude | | 44:35–52:54 | Comic "conspiracy corner" closing bit |

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Final Thoughts

“Ghostly Moments” is classic Distractible—melding skepticism with unfiltered curiosity and outrageous humor. Personal stories and cultural ghost lore balance with irrepressible comedy, ensuring even the spookiest tales prompt more laughter than fright. The episode closes on a note of satirical caution, inviting listeners to enjoy the stories, but not to take any outlandish claims too seriously. Expect skeptical fun, several fake-outs, and plenty of quotable lines.

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Transcript

[Mark]

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[Bob]

to you by T Mobile 5G Home Internet. Okay guys, show break and you know what that means.

[Wade]

We talking t mobile 5G home Internet? Yup.

[Bob]

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[DLive]

Are you serious?

[Wade]

Yep.

[Bob]

T Mobile now is the fastest 5G home Internet according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test. Plus it's backed by a solid five year price guarantee. And setting it up is still as easy as it gets. Just plug it in and go.

[DLive]

If only everything else in life were that easy.

[Bob]

Yep, But t mobile 5G home Internet? The fastest 5G home Internet with simple setup and a great price with savings that stick.

[Wade]

Say that again, but at the fastest 5G speed. Bet you can't.

[DLive]

Nope.

[Bob]

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[Wade]

Yup.

[Mark]

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[Bob]

This episode of Distractable is presented to you by T mobile 5G home Internet.

[DLive]

The folks over at T Mobile have some big news for you they now have the fastest 5G home Internet according to the experts at Ookla Speed Test.

[Wade]

So if you want the fastest 5G speeds with a 5 year price guarantee, visit t mobile.com homeinternet to check availability.

[Bob]

Price guarantee exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Fastest based on Ookla Speed test intelligence data. Second half 2025. All rights reserved. From tales of goblins to fables of specters.

[DLive]

Yes,

[Bob]

it's time for ghostly moments. Bob, do you have ghosts in front of you?

[DLive]

In front of me?

[Bob]

Is there a window in front of you or something?

[DLive]

No. Are you referring to this?

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

I saw a shadowy figure.

[Wade]

What is.

[Bob]

What is going. It looks like a window and someone's walking by it. What is that?

[DLive]

I'm in a basement. Let's be very clear about this. I'm in a basement. This is a TV that's off. That is reflective. But what it usually reflects is my monitors. And I just saw that.

[Bob]

Yeah, you saw that too. Someone walked by.

[DLive]

You can see my hand in the monitor, right? You could see like right here when

[Wade]

I. Yeah, our angle. I can't, but I believe you.

[Bob]

I swear. Something walked by.

[DLive]

I saw that because you made me look at it. Right where the hat. It looked like. What is that again?

[Wade]

What is that?

[DLive]

What?

[Wade]

I saw it. What is it?

[DLive]

I'm in a basement.

[Bob]

You got ghost, man.

[Wade]

What's happening?

[DLive]

My monitors are all static except for your images right now.

[Wade]

Good luck putting that in a YouTube short, editors, man.

[Bob]

Bob, if it is a prank, it's a good one, dude.

[DLive]

If this is a prank, I'm pranking my own self here too. What the fuck is happening?

[Wade]

Hey, I'll give you 20 bucks to stand in front of this light while I'm recording an episode and just walk back and forth.

[DLive]

I'm in a basement. There are like basement windows, but there's no way that they're reflect. That's what's reflected because they're covered by horizontal slats.

[Wade]

It keeps happening.

[Bob]

I didn't mean to derail your episode,

[DLive]

but yeah, I have no fucking idea what that.

[Wade]

Well, what's reflecting right now in that top part? Like, what is that green?

[Bob]

I don't know.

[DLive]

Watch right here, right? You can see my hand shadow right there. That's my hand in front of my monitors. What is up? Wait, I can obstruct that. Yeah, it's a. I don't have an explanation for that.

[Bob]

I think there's someone hiding behind your monitor. I think that's the only thing.

[DLive]

The only other thing in My office that emits light is. I have a. Over there, up high. I have a computer, but it's purple. It's all purple lighting inside my computer. It's not green.

[Bob]

All the listeners are shaking their steering wheel.

[Wade]

Listeners. There's a TV that looks like someone's moving in front of a reflection in it. There you go. You're welcome.

[DLive]

It honestly looks like someone is walking back and forth in front of the reflection. I'm alone in a basement. I don't know what to tell you.

[Wade]

Are you okay?

[DLive]

I hope so. I don't know.

[Wade]

Oh, they walked the other way.

[DLive]

It did go the other way. I saw that. If a face appears and stays there, maybe we'll talk to it. That'll be the episode. I don't like that. I don't like that. Oh, this is not a big thing. But it's preparation.

[Bob]

Okay, so the day the mountains fall, I want you all to close your eyes. Okay? Imagine. Imagine, Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. Imagine. I went searching for the truth. And like a fool, I found it. But some truths are best left undiscovered. But I turned around and there was. It's bigger than I could have imagined. The hikers claim that when they turned around, it seemed as though their friend had simply vanished. When I turned around, my whole farm was gone.

[DLive]

I don't believe in ghosts, but when

[Bob]

I turned around, I couldn't explain what I was seeing. This is Morbid Mysteries of the Missing Millennium. Viewer discretion is advised. If I swallow this right now and die, will you give me the point

[DLive]

that's worth at least two points? I guess. Yeah.

[Bob]

Everyone pull over to the side of the road. You gotta watch this. One gulp, I'm dead.

[DLive]

That's two points to mark, I guess.

[Wade]

Jesus, I'm getting railroaded here, man. Well, thankfully, he can't compete for any more points now, right?

[DLive]

If he comes back to life, he loses the two points, just to be clear.

[Wade]

Okay.

[DLive]

Anyway, interesting discussion, I think.

[Bob]

Hey, what's up, guys? Back from the afterlife here? Want to finish this episode out strong?

[DLive]

I'm going to cross out dead and take those two points away real quick.

[Bob]

Can I get one point? I'm a ghost, man.

[DLive]

All right, I'll give you one ghost point.

[Bob]

Okay, cool. You hear my echoey voice and everything?

[DLive]

Editors, don't do any of this. Just make him live with what he's done. No, please.

[Bob]

I sign your checks.

[DLive]

That's not even true. None of us sign shit.

[Bob]

You're right. But I could call the person who does.

[DLive]

I know them, too. I have Their number, too. I'll call them and tell them not to listen to Mark. You don't even worry about it.

[Bob]

All right, fine.

[DLive]

We have to talk about a very important topic. I want you to use science. I want you to use mysticism. I want you to use personal beliefs, regardless of facts shown to you. I want you to use whatever methods necessary for you to discuss the important topic of. Are ghosts real?

[Bob]

No. Final answer.

[DLive]

All right, episode over.

[Bob]

All right, thank you, everybody.

[DLive]

Mark wins because he answered first. Thank you for listening to the podcast. Make sure that you watch it on Spotify. No. Well, so we can talk about this from several different perspectives. Thing number one that I have that I enjoy is ghost hunting. Both the TV shows that exist around ghost hunting and the actual devices that you use to go ghost hunting, like EMF readers and talk boxes or whatever they're called, and all the different little tools that you use to try and detect the presence of ghost, all that stuff is very entertaining and hilarious and bunk. Do you guys believe in any of that stuff? That it works? That it means anything?

[Bob]

No, those shows. No. It is interesting that. That they would believe that it does. Because if you. Even if you watch this of the show, the EMF thing with, like, the radio where it cycles through and it grabs, like, they'll be like, a word came through. And I'm like, yeah, you're going through radio signal. The spirit box. The spirit box.

[Wade]

EMF's. The little light, that electromagnetic field detector.

[Bob]

Yeah. But it's just so funny to me because it's like, yeah, this thing, what it does is it cycles through the radio frequencies that are passing through.

[DLive]

Yeah. It picks up words that are broadcast into this realm.

[Wade]

What happens whenever you ask it a question, like, what do you want? And you hear apple. And it's like, clearly the ghost wants an apple.

[Bob]

And you hear, pop my hips.

[DLive]

And it's like, oh, Derren Slorin.

[Wade]

I heard that.

[DLive]

I used to watch those ghost hunting shows quite a bit. They're very funny.

[Bob]

They're so entertaining. They are edited in a way that just never gets to a conclusion ever. And it's like straight through the. Like, it goes up to the commercial break.

[Wade]

It does.

[Bob]

It's not even a cliffhanger. It's just a constantly building like. And then this happened. They circle back to the same clip of, like, a little dot going through with a circle on it. And then the circle's bigger and then it's closer to the circle, and it's like, that can stretch that out for 10 minutes.

[DLive]

And the Sound, dude, the sound stingers they use. Oh, my God. It's a black and white infrared shot of a door that's already open. That just goes.

[Bob]

And then I saw that the door was open. Show the clip again. And I don't remember opening the door. And they put in the squeak sound effect. Yeah, I love those shows.

[DLive]

Like, and it's like a Dane Cook joke too. Some of those too. They'll. They'll be in a room and they'll. The door will move or whatever thing falls over and they're like, Gary, Gary was downstairs. Gary, come up here. Gary's got the emf. Gary, come up here. A minute and a half ago, did you get anything like. Well, yeah, no. I got like a three, Like a three out of five on this raider thing. Why? Did something happen up here? He got a three out of five. It's like they're all through the house. And it's like I was. I was in the basement using the dividing rods. You were in the upstairs with the dolls. I don't know why. Because it's also painfully boring. Because you just know. You watch a show, you know the formula, and you're like, after the commercial, they're just going to come back and circle back to that one thing that happened. But I have to see it because I want to see them all get so excited about it. All right, so this has happened a couple of times in my life, but specifically last night we were in a hotel. We just got back from traveling today. Last night at like 11:30pm isn't too late. But we have a baby, so he was already asleep for a couple hours at this point. At 11:30, 30pm Some, like kids, some like middle school kids were staying in the hotel, I think, but they just slammed our door like we were staying in a hotel. The door was locked with all the extra security locks. And we're just sitting. Manny and I were sort of laying in bed, like talking, kind of falling asleep. And it was just like. And like I heard feet, footsteps running away, right? Like, I know that a human did it, but that shit has happened to me multiple times. How many people slam doors in hotels? Are I just really unlucky?

[Wade]

That's never happened to me.

[DLive]

It was scary.

[Wade]

Heard have had noisy people in a hotel, but I don't think they've ever slammed into my door.

[DLive]

The box is waving at us, everybody. Hi, box.

[Bob]

That's horrifying. What is happening to that box?

[DLive]

Hi, box. Hi. Okay, you stay back there. Don't. Don't attack me while we're recording.

[Wade]

Unless. That'd be great footage.

[DLive]

I don't like that Mandy's actually just off screen right now just doing that. At some point, she's just going to lurch out, tackle me.

[Bob]

Okay. So. Hi, welcome to Distractible. I assume that it has started already.

[Wade]

When. When did start?

[Bob]

The. The haunted box really threw me. We're not going to talk about why that's doing that. If you're watching this on Spotify, you're seeing it, but you're seeing it and, like, just. You got really squint and hold your phone really close up to your face.

[DLive]

Yeah, it's probably small on your phone. It's fine. It's fine. Don't worry about it.

[Bob]

Totally fine.

[DLive]

Will won't zoom in on that or anything at any point. It's. It's just not a big deal.

[Bob]

You were right. Thank you for admitting it.

[DLive]

I thought. I thought that we were just having a goofy. And it was just a joke for an episode. Our new house is haunted. Oh, our new house. So my Mandy's parents live 20 minutes away from our new house, right? So we're. It's in Ohio. We still. We're still in California right now. So they're like, watching the place, right? They go over there.

[Wade]

The new house is haunted.

[DLive]

The new. The new house we don't live in yet is already haunted. They go over there and they, like, make sure everything's good, make sure, you know, whatever. They just check on the house just to make sure. And so this is the garage. I'm just gonna show on my phone. Wow, that's hideous. There we go. This is like a hatch, like into the attic of the garage, right?

[Bob]

Yeah.

[DLive]

They went over there one day and they sent us. They, like, panic, sent us some text messages, and we're like, something. Something moved in the house. We think someone's been in the house. I can't. We can't tell. It's weird. It doesn't seem like any. No, there's no break in. But look, look, they sent that like a week ago maybe or a while ago now. And on that day, they sent that and we were like, whoa, what the hell? Did the previous owners, like, leave something in the attic in the garage? And they came back and broke into the house. Like they had a key or something and got in or what? We don't know, like, what happened.

[Bob]

But for those listening at home.

[DLive]

Sorry, listeners. Good idea, Mark.

[Wade]

I wouldn't even tell him.

[Bob]

The first picture was like, you know, it's an attic access, so you Push up on it and it slides. It's just a big piece of wood.

[DLive]

And then you climb in the hole into the attic.

[Bob]

The first picture was closed and sealed. The second picture was slightly askew, with gaps where I could see the darkness beyond.

[Wade]

But it looks like. So correct me if I'm wrong, it looks like in order to move it, you have to lift up and twist it. This isn't just a panel that, like, can shift on its own. You need to be push up. Right.

[DLive]

It's supposed to be set into a thing where you push up and it goes into the attic. Yes.

[Wade]

So it looks like. Like my first thought was, okay, a raccoon or something, but a raccoon scooting across it wouldn't lift it up necessarily unless they dug at it.

[DLive]

Right?

[Bob]

Yeah.

[DLive]

And there is a ladder in the garage. According to our parents. They. They. They left a ladder or something. I think they went back to the house today. It's the same hatch, more tilted open.

[Bob]

Oh, did they reset it when they

[DLive]

saw it last time? No. So this is on the ceiling of, like, a pretty high garage, Right? The garage is, like 12 foot. It's like a tall garage door. So they couldn't reach it. And they're not trying to climb up on a ladder or something. They just. So they left it from the. They left it in this condition here where it's very slightly tilted open. That was like a week ago. Ish. That was a while ago. They went back today, and it's open by, like, a few more inches.

[Bob]

It's way more open.

[DLive]

Your. Your reflections are showing in my phone. Hey, guys. How's it going?

[Bob]

I can see the latency.

[DLive]

So the house is haunted, you bastards.

[Bob]

That's haunted. That is haunted.

[Wade]

It doesn't look light. It looks like it's got some weight to it.

[DLive]

No, it's, like, made of wood. It's got a metal, like, around the edge. It's metal for, like, the seal got a handle on it. It looks like it would. It wouldn't be, like, hard to open, but you would have to climb up a ladder and, like. And move it out of the way to get into the attic.

[Wade]

That thing's gonna be out and falling and breaking on the floor soon.

[Bob]

So it's either a ghost or someone lives in that attic.

[DLive]

I thought that's what I thought it was, if I'm honest. I thought they sold the house and didn't tell Crenfield, the guy who lives in the attic. And then, like, he came out for his monthly trip to the Grocery store and was like, guys, oh no. Oh God, they forgot about Credfield.

[Wade]

So 4th of July, I went over to my mom's and my family came over and we had like a little get together for fourth of July. And we had a weird event where we were sitting around talking and one of my, like, mom and sister's dogs went and like, was chewing on. They grow like their own, like, herbs and vegetables and stuff in their backyard. And the dog went and like, started chewing on one of those. And like mid sentence, like, we were talking to my mom and my sister, my mom just starts yelling, jalapeno, jalapeno, jalapeno. And we're like, okay. We were talking about, like, cameras. Mom, what the hell? What just happened? And she's like, well, it's hot. I was like, excuse me? It's what we yell to the dogs to get them to stop eating stuff they're not supposed to because jalapenos are hot. I was like, you trained them on a jalapeno, a four syllable word to tell them to stop or hot? And they're like, well, no, we didn't train them. So why do you yell jalapenos?

[DLive]

Guess the dog knows jalapenos are spicy and the dogs don't like spicy food.

[Wade]

But the dog, dog doesn't know jalapeno. It's just as shocked as we are that my mom goes from talking calmly normally to screaming jalapeno like she's being murdered in the backyard.

[DLive]

We trained our dog to react to me screaming nonsense words out of nowhere, very hysterically. It always works because it's just so shocking.

[Wade]

My mom would be like, oh, yeah, that's cool, you know, jalapeno, jalapeno. And I thought she was being possessed by a demon because. Did we do an episode since I went ghost hunting?

[DLive]

No, no, wait.

[Bob]

You went ghost hunting?

[DLive]

Yeah, no, I did go ghost hunting.

[Wade]

I don't know if that video will be out yet. We're actually waiting on a cameo from a expert in the field to fully edit the video. Look forward to that. But I want ghost hunting down at Bob Mackey's, which is in Newport, Kentucky. It's like a bar that has a history of like, being owned by the mob and people being interrogated in the basement and other such events. We went down there and filmed some stuff and nobody would do the Ouija board with me except for dlive. Everybody was afraid. Like, even non believers were like, ouija board, which I don't get it. What is so Special about a Ouija board. Like, you'll get a spirit box. You'll be like, ghost, show yourself. Give me, Pinch me.

[DLive]

Suck my balls, ghost.

[Wade]

Punch me, ghost. But if you touch a Ouija board, you're like, what is your name? They're like, oh, don't ask that. Not on a Ouija board. And the Ouija board like says fucking Parker Brothers on the bottom. So it's a goddamn kids. But for some reason it's the scariest ghost hunting device. And I don't understand it.

[DLive]

It's cuz they're real, Wade. Okay? The rest of that stuff is technological. Google Gobble. Ouija boards are made of wood and like plastic and glass and whatever. And it's just real. It's just the spirits reaching out and sending you a message. Okay?

[Wade]

People are walking around with their holy water, their cameras, their EMF readers, all the other devices. And they're like, ghost, pinch me. Throw a table at me. Do something. And I'm like, what year were you born? They're like, oh, you fucking fool, that's a Ouija board. So we wrap up and we're coming home. And I was like, hey, can you guys carry this out? I was like packing up equipment. I was like trying to get someone to carry the Ouija board and no one would touch it. My sister went with this and she was like, I'm not taking that back home with me. Because it was their Ouija board. She's like, you can have it. So I brought the Ouija board back and now I own a Ouija board that everyone thinks is possessed by a demon. And when my mom started fucking screaming Jalapeno, I was like, oh my God, they were right. She's possessed.

[DLive]

You look over at the window and the Ouija board is pressed up against the window and the thing is just frantically pointing at yes, the Ouija board is all, yes, yes, yes.

[Wade]

Yeah. But that was the only thing that could possibly have explained Jalapeno until she was told me what the hell was going on. But ghost hunting, man, is it more expensive than I thought. And it's like four or five hours of being in a very uncomfortable building uncomfortably with not much happening.

[Bob]

Maybe it's because you got a cheap Parker Brothers one and not an actual authentic.

[Wade]

I thought that was authentic. Is there a. Is there a brand of authentic Ouija board?

[DLive]

Real Ouija boards are hand hewn by Monsieur Ouija himself.

[Bob]

Obviously they only come from the Ouija part of France.

[DLive]

Yeah, everyone knows that you were using a sparkling board. That joke really landed.

[Wade]

It's the same board that we use for drowned man.

[DLive]

Oh, well, then you know it works.

[Bob]

Yeah, that's extra cursed.

[DLive]

So you're going to burn that house down now that you moved into the new one? The fiery man?

[Wade]

I don't want to be the fiery man. Please don't wish that upon me.

[Bob]

Yeah, no, no, no. What other disaster is funniest? What's disaster would be funniest to befall you?

[DLive]

The gas leak, man.

[Wade]

Yeah, dude, I just had propane work done. Don't wish that upon me.

[Bob]

The carbon monoxide poisoning, man.

[DLive]

The bad grading man. All the water's gonna drain right up against your foundation. Oh, your basement's gonna be so moist.

[Bob]

The sinkhole, man.

[DLive]

Ooh, that one sounds dangerous.

[Bob]

No. Oh, the other ones are safe.

[DLive]

Yeah, probably. I don't know.

[Wade]

I don't like any of this shit.

[DLive]

For the record, you know what's gonna be cursed is your car. You ever get a car, that's where it's gonna be.

[Wade]

Well, I've beat them to the punch. If you don't have one, they can't curse.

[Bob]

The semi man, the crashed man.

[DLive]

The crashed man, the crushed man. Well, that sounds violent.

[Wade]

Oh, yeah, the. The fired man sounds so less violent.

[DLive]

But you can run away from a fire if you're. If you're crushed. What are you gonna do? Uncrush yourself? I don't know.

[Bob]

Yeah, all the people that have died in fire, they just didn't run fast enough.

[DLive]

Yeah, idiots. Obviously you just run away from it. Fire can't be that fast.

[Bob]

Silly, silly. I have something I want to play for you. Have you ever felt a chill up your spine? I don't know, man. Something just feels off. Like, you know, there's something standing right, but you just can't turn around. Cut it out, man. You're giving me the creeps. What if I told you that the world was stranger than you could ever possibly imagine? I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't believe in ghosts. But something just feels weird. Welcome to unusual oddities. Oddities of an unreal understanding.

[Wade]

Usual oddities of an unreal understanding. I enjoy the reference. Back to turning around and ghosts view.

[Bob]

Discretion is advised, of course. Can't believe you would interrupt that. I put so much work into that and you just interrupted.

[Wade]

Yes, interrupt.

[Bob]

The 15 second interlude in that song

[DLive]

will cut him out.

[Bob]

Yeah, yeah. Cut him out of there. No, Amy was literally like, oh, my God, that gap. They're gonna start talking in there because they're Gonna think over. Well, yeah.

[Wade]

There is an unnecessarily long pause.

[DLive]

That. That.

[Bob]

That is 50 seconds long. I don't know why in that song. I made that literally in between the break. I. I told you I was going to get food. I skipped food to make that.

[Wade]

I don't know, man.

[Bob]

Stop, man. You're giving me the creeps.

[DLive]

Like so, man. Oh, my God. They never miss Mark. How is that such a skill you possess? They literally all bangers. I don't understand.

[Wade]

I don'.

[DLive]

Cards on the table. I found this in a Cracked article titled the 7 Most Ridiculous Ghost Stories from Around the World. And I read it passively while I was brainstorming ideas for this episode. But I came across this ghost and I had to tell you all about the Hantu to Tech. So just to give you the background, the legend has it the Hantu to tech is a female spirit apparition ghost. Some say a witch. A Balinese witch with an unimaginably enormous rack. And this ghost's purpose is only to float around and smother disobedient young men to death with her shocking bazooms. Guys might hear that and be like, all right, if I have to die, this is not like some anime fantasy girl is gonna show up and come fulfill all your dreams or whatever. Pontu Totecs are described in a lot of ways. Generally they're described as being very large or extremely obese, decrepit looking, like deathly old woman sort of look. But the real absolute banger of all of this is the hilariously large fun bags are in the spookiest location, not in the front where regular boobs go. They're located on the ghost's back.

[Bob]

No.

[DLive]

Yes. The spookiest place to have boobs. Obviously that's terrifying.

[Wade]

Back boobs sound kind of nice to me.

[DLive]

But anyway, this. This ghost comes from Malaysian culture and actually recently had a quite the. Quite the stirrup. In February of 2021 had quite to come up on Twitter the account bunganberry. I have no idea what inspired this person to do this, but they posted some sketches of what they thought this ghost looked like and Twitter couldn't decide if they were going to be horny about it or terrified about it. And they basically went with both. A lot of the responses were dudes just being like, oh, how do I summon a little how to tattoo? I want some of this in my like.

[Wade]

And.

[DLive]

And a lot of them were like, I would not mess with this ghost.

[Bob]

Well, I mean, if it's a ghost, is it really actually going to be able to physically interact with you. It seems to suggest it might be some sort of poltergeist instead of just a ghost.

[DLive]

Yeah, I mean, it's. The descriptions are vague. This is. This is an old. It's. It comes from Malaysia. I am not Malaysian. I don't know if you can tell from my appearance or, you know, all the information you know about me, but like, it's hard to find a lot online. I'll show you all of the links I found online. I will put in the discord so you can look. Who knows how it uses the boobs to suffocate you. I don't want to find out.

[Bob]

Being crushed is not a volunteers tribute.

[DLive]

Okay?

[Bob]

Never mind. I would deduct points.

[Wade]

We all gotta go sometime, man. If you're gonna go, you might as well enjoy it.

[Bob]

No, that's the exact logic that the stupid people are getting. You're getting crushed to death. It doesn't matter if it's between back ma' ams or front.

[Wade]

Survive 2020. Maybe I'll survive the back boobs too. You never know.

[Bob]

Just like, I don't get how that's an appealing death.

[Wade]

What is an appealing death?

[Bob]

You're getting smooshed between humongoid boobaloo.

[DLive]

So I will say, you guys, I don't know what pictures you've looked up exactly. Let me find the one. This website has some good imagery that really might swing your opinion about. It's not in English and I couldn't get it to translate. It's from the Wayback Machine. But there are some images that I feel like might really swing your opinion about whether or not you want to get smothered to death by those big old headlights. The top ones a little more childish, a little cartoony.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[DLive]

If you get to the bottom there. Oh, you really get more to the meat of what I think a hantu to tech looks like. Because anime has taught us that boobs grow as like spheres.

[Bob]

Perfectly spherical. We all know this, not how boobs work.

[DLive]

I hate to break it to you,

[Wade]

I've never seen anything quite like that though.

[DLive]

They really are like scarves or like snakes even.

[Bob]

See, the problem is like, I disagree fundamentally that bigger is always better when it comes to boobs. Like, like. And to be perfectly honest, I am a. I shouldn't just be making big declaratives about judgment of boobs.

[Wade]

You know, in general, I agree with your disagreement. I think that any size can be very nice. I'm gonna get myself in trouble, man. I'm a married man.

[Bob]

Well, I didn't say bigger. Bigger may not be better, but I didn't say bigger was worse. You know what I mean?

[DLive]

I agree.

[Wade]

I don't. I think it. Each titty deserves to be judged on its own merits.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[DLive]

Why do titties have to be judged? Why are you judging?

[Bob]

Yeah, why they gotta be judging there?

[Wade]

It's, it's, it's like the, they're all. It's always a positive. I'm in trouble. Go ahead.

[DLive]

But yeah, look, so this is an interesting topic. It stirs a lot of different emotions about general horniness. General discussion of like death, but death in a way that's sort of comical. But like, does that make it better? The thing that I find really messed up about this saggy specter got to work in my name.

[Bob]

Nice. Nice.

[DLive]

At least to some extent it comes from my understanding comes from parents using this to scare their young male children into behaving themselves. This isn't just like some go, like I could totally imagine someone creative coming up with this character, some adult or whatever, someone over, you know, teenager, older coming up with this and be like, aha, big tits and stuff. It's a scary, funny ghost. This was used by adults to influence children. And like I was a young boy once, right. And if my parents had described the giggity ghost to me as being very old and grotesque and scary looking with back boobies, that was confusing. I would probably be scared. But like young boys are really horny. Yeah. And I would definitely at least have toyed around with the idea of like, how much do I misbehave to just get a, like a little threatening smoosh without actually being smothered to death. Like, where's the line?

[Bob]

Just get slapped with one tit, you know, like it's, it's, it's a tough slap, but you know, it's more disciplinary. I just posted a picture in discord of something I found about the Hunt 2 Tetek. Yeah. Might lean a little more on the horror side of things.

[Wade]

That one. I definitely lean away that. That, that one would be one that would work. That's worse.

[Bob]

Yeah. When it's 50 nipple. And yeah, if you're listening at home, you can find, maybe find this, the distractible podcast website. Either that or we will do a faithful recreation of it or it won't exist at all.

[DLive]

Also, we don't need a special license to post it.

[Bob]

I don't know exactly. But yeah, no, that doesn't look good. Sidebar. There's a whole discussion to be had of, like, the sexualization of breasts in general, you know, the stigma behind it and all that stuff. But for you guys, not even the nice pictures do anything for me. I don't look at this picture and I'm like, well, maybe if I saw this and I wasn't sure it was just a person that needed help, I would be running and screaming as fast and as loud as I possibly could.

[Wade]

Yeah, I don't think this is exactly what I would be fantasizing about ever.

[DLive]

I mean, I think you're right. But also, like, your parents describe this to you, or maybe you see it and I think I agree. I would not see an image of any of these things in real life and be like. Like, yeah, let's see where this goes. All right, this is my last one, but I got to work it in. I would come upon this flabbergasted fantasm.

[Bob]

That's another point right there. That's another point.

[DLive]

Yeah. And I would be absolutely shocked and running like you're describing. But in my mind, like, this is, you know, it's kind of embarrassing to think about and admit, but in my mind, I know I would have fantasies about this. You can't throw something that, like, sexual. And I mean, it's not sexual, but the boobs, like, at least in the culture I came up in, boobs were sexual. Then everything was like, this weird. I would twist it into a fantasy of like, oh, yeah, that's pretty hot, actually. Like, you know what? That's how. That's how young boys minds work. And maybe part of this is that Malaysian culture is different. Maybe boobs are not as sexualized by the culture. Maybe it's a whole different thing. Maybe this is terrifying and I just don't understand it. It's possible, but I just think that would mean that would have made it some really messed up childhood, like, fantasies and thought experiment. It's just a weird angle to go for keeping your kids in line. There's gotta be better ghosts and things to use to scare your kids into behaving. Right?

[Bob]

But Wade here, ready to pick it back up and bring it back.

[Wade]

I'm looking at this, like, wheel of emotions, and they've got different colors associated with them. The three main colors are like, red, yellow, and blue. But red, yellow, and blue are kind of somewhat closer together. And then they've got green across from red, which is a little bit weird. And for the life of me, I cannot figure out why in the world it's designed that way. Instead of having red Yellow and blue equidistant from each other. And I'm just curious why green gets, like two shades of green and a light blue, but red and blue just have one pink between them. Red and yellow just have one orange between them. And I don't know why green gets so much love on this list.

[Bob]

Are you trying to distract me?

[DLive]

Is that.

[Wade]

Huh? What do you mean? Oh, is that on the list? This?

[Bob]

That's crazy.

[DLive]

I've never been more focused on anything in my entire life. Are you kidding me?

[Bob]

Oh, my God.

[Wade]

For those who weren't watching for that

[Bob]

moment, there's no words I could describe. Except, yes, I have words to describe that.

[Wade]

Oh, sorry, my little weird paper towel ball.

[DLive]

Yeah, I'll try to describe it. Listeners. Wade sat with his face barely in the shot, and that's why he sounded so distant. And then he was just waving a. A weird crumpled up paper towel in and out of the other side of the shot. The whole time he was talking about the colors.

[Bob]

Oh, man.

[Wade]

Mark said, this is the best episode ever. I had to give it my all to do. I don't like to admit it to anyone, but yes, I paid this man $60 to come to my house so I could smell his fingers on my birthday.

[Bob]

Or did you? Yes.

[Wade]

Three separate times I smelled this man's fingers. Three times.

[Bob]

That's a little strange.

[Wade]

And none of the times did his fingers smell like maple syrup. They were bad. It got away from bad to worse.

[Bob]

The mystery thickens, you know?

[Wade]

And there were only two pipes you rubbed on, so I really. I honest, I swear to go. I don't know what the third one was that I smelled, but they were all bad.

[Bob]

I don't mean to say it, but have you thought about a Canadian ghost?

[Wade]

Like, I hadn't. There are a lot of Canadian ghost refugees in Ohio.

[Bob]

Are you. Are you. Is your house on a Canadian burial ground? Is this, like. I just got to ask.

[Wade]

Yes. People, do they. They. They have their pilgrimage from Canada to Cincinnati to bury their loved ones. Where I live. Quite often, I feel it. I had an experience in phasmophobia the other day, so. Phasmophobia to this new map game mode. They had nightmare mode, a new map called the campsite. And in the campsite, there's this campfire. And sitting by the campfire is just like an acoustic guitar laying against, like, one of the chairs. And immediately all I could think of is like, campfire guitar guy. Don't want to be campfire guitar guy. I don't want to be that one Guy and I was hunting this ghost. Forget what the ghost name was, but one of the audio clues is to figure out where it was. It randomly played the guitar. Like it just strummed it. So I heard the guitar play and I was like, you got to be kidding me. We actually have a campfire Guitar Guy ghost. And I jokingly said that it was a yokai and yo kai are the ghosts that get angry and are more likely to hunt. If you're talking and using your microphone, it can hear you and it gets more agitated and more likely to hunt. Sure. And I said that cuz I was like, well, if there's one thing that Campfire Guitar Guy doesn't want, it doesn't want people talking while they're trying to steal the show and have all eyes on them and ended up being a yokai. But it made me think of the. That one guy, Campfire Guitar Guy. Not to point any fingers to anybody that I know, but I do know a couple of campfire guitar guys that carried around guitars or carry around guitars and not necessarily did it for the whole same reasons as the stereotype. But I definitely think of like, you know, you watch a movie and there's a stereotypical guy that, you know, people are sitting on the beach and they're all having a fun conversation. Someone's just like, oh, by the way, we play wonder Ball for you. And they pull up their acoustic guitar out of nowhere and everyone has to stop talking and just put their eyes on campfire Guitar Guy, who's miraculously not wearing a shirt, you know, hair droop down to their shoulders, muscly playing their guitar. And everyone's just like, well, we were talking and having a good time, but I guess we'll just stare at you now. And I got that ghost and phasmophobia. But that's another. That one guy. No, no. Campfire Guitar Guys.

[DLive]

I've never experienced that in real life ever.

[Wade]

No, you.

[Bob]

You talk about Campfire Guitar Guy way more than anyone has ever experienced Campfire Guitar Guy. Because I. I know this is a thing that you talk. You're Campfire Guitar Guy talking about campfire Guitar Guy Guy. You literally mentioned Campfire Guitar Guy.

[DLive]

He's real.

[Bob]

Any turn. I remember when I was trying was playing the guitar, like for the tour, and I was like, yeah, I'm trying to improve better myself. And you're like, oh, here comes Campfire Guitar Guy with his guitar. I think you just hate people that play guitar.

[Wade]

I might. Maybe I do.

[DLive]

Whoa. Jesus. I didn't. I shouldn't have put my desk up in standing mode. I almost just fucking fell over.

[Wade]

Oh my God. This image is a guy with his hands up, up in fist form with his chin resting, eyes closed, and the fart genie is leaving his armpit. Yeah.

[Bob]

Imagine the statue of the thinker.

[DLive]

Yeah, the man is pulling a double thinker.

[Bob]

Why is he grabbing his head like that?

[Wade]

Wants to make sure he doesn't look back here to see what's going on. You know, keep that in turn. This guy's like, you don't want to see what I'm about to do, bro.

[Bob]

Oh, wow.

[DLive]

I feel like this. This one's such a peculiar image. It must be obvious. Obvious?

[Bob]

It's the most trash bag like ghost I've ever seen.

[DLive]

It's like someone saw one of those online tutorials, like all you need is some chicken wire and paper mache and you can make a ghost decoration for your front yard for Halloween. And then they tried to make it and they got this.

[Wade]

Maybe it's the angle, but like the face of the ghost does not look like it could possibly be this dude's face.

[Bob]

This gave me an idea because I'm going to get back into learning Korean as soon as I'm done with this. This freaking movie. These would be great for flashcards.

[DLive]

This would be great for flashcards. For Korean.

[Wade]

Yeah.

[Bob]

Because for flashcards, what's really good if you have image flashcards is getting images that are memorable but also completely unique. I don't think that there's anything more unique than this. And if you can even relate re even somehow relate it to a word or a sentence, that'd be very good for that. All right, I'm. I'm play as you tell me if you hear it. Doesn't something smell a little off to you? It's too loud.

[DLive]

It's a little loud, but yeah, I do hear it. Back up.

[Bob]

Pretend you didn't hear that.

[Wade]

All right, here we go.

[Mark]

Ready?

[Wade]

Are you ready? No, don't do it again.

[Bob]

Doesn't something smell a little off to you? Hey, do you smell something? Well, that's a weird smell. I don't know what it is. Have you ever felt a chill run up your spine? Well, it was like something tapped me on the shoulder, but when I turned around. Get ready to forget everything you know about everything. Guys, I. I'm still smelling something weird. A whole city of people just turning round and round endlessly.

[DLive]

Alright, if someone doesn't say they're smelling

[Bob]

what I'm smelling, I swear I'm. Oh my God.

[Wade]

What happened to the moon?

[Bob]

You expect me to believe we're surrounded by gases that we cannot see? I know what clouds look like. Those are clowns. Welcome to the show that was formerly known as don't look up. But we were sued by some dumbass in a movie studio. This is. It's in the air. Viewer discretion is advised. So when I told you I was late because I was working on a thing.

[Wade]

Mark, it's so, so good.

[Bob]

Sorry it was so loud.

[Wade]

I tried to do a hack to

[Bob]

get it to play for you guys.

[Wade]

Pretty sure, yeah. Mark was late to the recording today because he was working on this. I think I'm understanding why iron lung's taking away. Damn.

[Bob]

Look, guys, I'm not gonna lie.

[Wade]

He spent three days on this, so

[Bob]

I'm not gonna lie. I spent so long working on this this morning, I didn't come up with an idea for the episode.

[DLive]

I did this because I was like,

[Bob]

ah, I'm gonna bring it of the

[Wade]

small thing during small talk.

[Bob]

And this will be a funny way to do it because I haven't done

[DLive]

one of these in a while.

[Bob]

And I had a bunch of. I had a bunch of problems with the software because I haven't done it on this computer in a while. And so I had to. Had to reinstall DaVinci and all my software. So anyway, did you.

[Wade]

That admission actually gave me a headache. My brain could not comprehend.

[Bob]

You'll never guess what I'm Googling right now.

[DLive]

Trying to figure out what gravity is. What is this?

[Wade]

He's like. Apparition.

[Bob]

Welcome to the first sushi restaurant in space. You won't have no gravity here. You'll be eating your sushi floating through the air. I got the ghost of Sato Takahashi here, a real dead apparition, to cook you your sushi. Not a lot of cooking can go on. Mostly just cuts it up. But he's good for a ghost. And you're gonna be good for paying money for this fish. It gets sent up with a catapult in space. Flash frozen in an instant right into our back door. He gets sushi from the water to your mouth. All in the first sushi restaurant in space. Come with your friends.

[DLive]

Never leave teacher. Stick. And action. Are you tired of ghosts in your

[Bob]

kitchen trying to eat dinner? But they're on a mission.

[DLive]

If you and your friends want peace

[Wade]

like we do, we gotta try our new ghost trap. We're ready to assist you. Do you have apparitions in your kitchen causing you quite a stir? Well, we have the new Apparition trap ready for you. It uses a gravity based system that lures them in. And we have learned a very unusual secret, that ghosts are attracted to dead fish. Therefore, we use sushi as a bait. We place it on the trap, the ghosts fly over, grab the sushi, the gravity well sucks them in, and they're put in the trap, bringing you peace. And you don't have to leave the dinner table to catch them, and you can enjoy your meal. Call us today.

[Bob]

Who are the people on the side?

[DLive]

You don't know that reference? What does no one here know references? That was the Ghostbusters bit.

[Wade]

That was the Ghostbusters. When they're on the tv, their commercial.

[DLive]

We're ready to believe you.

[Bob]

I don't think I've ever actually seen Ghostbusters.

[DLive]

What? I have to do the rest of this episode in this claw. Oh, this broken closet. All right, this is my curse.

[Bob]

But no, no, no, no. People in the closet aren't cursed. That's not how that works.

[DLive]

Oh, I'm gone. I'm a ghost. Oh, my God.

[Bob]

He's actually gone.

[Wade]

Wait, hold on. Actually, I don't have object permanence, so I'm scared.

[Bob]

Oh, I. That gave me chills.

[Wade]

I was like. Where did you go? What the.

[Bob]

Is that Mark?

[DLive]

I need to borrow your tape.

[Wade]

No.

[Bob]

Oh, my God. You can have it. Jesus Christ. Where'd he go?

[DLive]

It was a ghost hand.

[Bob]

This is why we're the top fif in the top 50 of best podcasts in the world. This right here is why.

[Wade]

Are we still there? Are we still top 50?

[Bob]

Oh, yeah.

[DLive]

Oh, yeah. I'll take the win.

[Wade]

And the. Did I just hear what's happening in

[DLive]

everyone else's locations today? What the hell? He's just leaving.

[Wade]

I heard what sounded like someone crawling on all fours down my hallway.

[Bob]

That's such a specific sound. How would you know that sound?

[Wade]

It's like a slighty slappy noise.

[DLive]

Slidey slappy.

[Wade]

I might be about to get Samara ed.

[DLive]

Well, I'm gonna keep the recording rolly then.

[Wade]

I don't want to leave the camera.

[DLive]

Theory.

[Bob]

Theory.

[DLive]

I'm scared of everything. It's because I have aphantasia. I can't imagine what anything looks like. So while I'm experiencing things, as soon as I have it in my head, it's like, oh, there's a ghost. But then in my head, I'm like, what? What? There's a. What does a ghost look like? Which one's a ghost? What's. And then in real life, My body is like, oh, we don't know. It could be anything because I don't know what it is. It's just a feeling. And the feeling is fear.

[Wade]

That's interesting. It's an interesting thought, though, because if. If everything's always unknown to you because you can't picture it, I. That's.

[DLive]

What is it? What does a ghost smell like? I imagine bad, but it's hard to say.

[Bob]

In an age where digital content reigns supreme, mysterious audio series emerges, captivating minds within its enigmatic themes and challenging narratives. But behind the allure lies a shadow organization with a hidden agenda. As listeners become unwitting participants in a clandestine experiment, ethical boundaries or shatters and lives are irrevocably altered. Unbeknownst to them, select individuals are identified for their psychic potential, drawn into advanced studies from which some never return. As desperate families and anonymous insiders come forward, the question arises, how did a seemingly innocuous form of entertainment become a conduit for something so dark and dangerous? Well, it all lies in the person at the center of these events, the eye of the storm that is the whirlpool of darkness and dismay. I would like to start with some quotes that pertain to the event from people that were affected directly. Quote from Sarah Williams I was a regular listener of Distractable, but things changed when they sent me a cryptic email after I submitted my reactions to one of their special episodes. It was as if they were probing not just for my opinions, but for something deeper, something inexplicable. I didn't sign up to be a lab rat, so I unsubscribed. Still, it makes you wonder what they're really after. Another said, after I responded to a prompt in a Distractible episode, they sent me an invite for what they called Phase Two. I was curious, so I agreed. The next episode was different. Intense, disorienting, seemingly spinning off in random circles, covering topics they already talked about. Weeks, sometimes years before I had nightmares. And then I started seeing things. Shadows, flashes of images that weren't there. Whatever they were doing, it's not just a podcast anymore. Something darker, and I want no part of it. At the core of all this is one man. One man above all else. Bob Muyskins, host of the popular podcast Distractible, is in fact a couple cover for a sinister government operation known as Project Distraction. In the podcast, Bob seems to talk about random, unrelated topics, but in reality, he's subtly planting seeds of doubt and distrust in the minds his listeners. It's all psychological experiment aimed with identifying potential Recruits for the organization. I'm here to expose the truth about it. Wait. Would you like to contribute?

[Wade]

I found some information that I found to be very intriguing that I don't know, Mark, if this corroborates what you found or if this is its own thing. I have found evidence from. What was the name of the person you did you say? Sarah Williams.

[Bob]

Yeah, Sarah Williams.

[Wade]

Okay. This either is the same Sarah Williams or a different Sarah Williams. Because I've also got information from Sarah Williams suggesting that there are either two he's living a double life or he has a twin he's never revealed. While the well known version of Bob My Skins is a well known YouTuber and gaming content creators primarily known for his gaming videos and collaboration with their content creators. Sarah Williams talks of the same person, an entirely different set of circumstances, and I actually have her testimony. Sarah Williams is an investigative journalist with a passion for unraveling mysteries and is an avid fan of My Skirm's gaming adventures and content. She heard some rumors floating around that there was a Robert My Skins, a scientist and inventor doing all kinds of like ungodly horrible deeds in the town of. Let me see what it was. Pixelville. He was known far and wide as My Skirm, a name that sent shivers down the spine minds of those who heard it. My Skerm had a reputation for being a recluse. He resided in a grand ancient mansion on the outskirts of town, a mansion that seemed to hold secrets of centuries past. Some said it was cursed, while others believed it was filled with hidden treasures. The townsfolk whispered tales of ghostly apparitions and unexplained phenomena surrounding the mansion, fueling the curiosity and fear of the locals. One fateful day, a young and brave journalist Sarah arrived, determined to uncover the truth about my screamer's ignite mansion. She believed there was more to the story than spooky legends circulating the town. Her journey was fraught with obstacles, including skeptical townsfolk who warned her to stay away. But undeterred, she persisted, researching old archives, interviewing those who dared speak about meskirn. As she delved deeper into the mystery, she discovered that he had once been a renowned inventor and scientist. As mansion helped countless inventions, many of which were years ahead of their time. One evening, she wrote, as a storm raged outside, I ventured into the mansion, determined to find the truth. I uncovered hidden rooms filled with mesmerizing gadgets, intricate blueprints and a journal journal detailing Bob's life's work. I realized that my skirm had not been a recluse out of fear or malevolence, but rather to protect his revolutionary creations from falling into the wrong hands. As I explored further, I encountered holographic projection of Bob himself. In this hologram, he explained he had dedicated his life to advancing technology for the betterment of humanity. He remained hidden to safeguard his inventions and ensure they would only be revealed when the world was ready for their potential. I asked, what about your public Persona, your gaming content, your streams? To which he replied, oh, I'm not prepared to talk about that. For you see, that's not me. As soon as it begun, the hologram ended, leaving Sarah confused, wondering, what did he mean? Were there two Bobs? Was it one Bob? Did he have a twin? And such a lot is left to our imaginations.

[Bob]

Yeah, I've got. Actually, I think I corroborate that like perfectly, because there's an anonymous insider from the organization that this mysterious Bob was running that is trying to expose the truth. They said, quote, I worked or. Or I work within the organization behind Distractable. The public needs to understand that this isn't just an experiment. It has real consequences. People have disappeared, and not just figuratively. I can't reveal my identity for obvious reasons, but someone has to blow the whistle on this. Don't engage with their special episodes. Don't become another missing piece in their twisted puzzle. What I think is happening is it's a consciousness upload program where they're trying to get people to upload their consciousness and then use their corporeal forms as puppets, but they can control the population.

[Wade]

So you think like the public Persona version is forming an audience just to have sheep to lead to the slaughter, so to speak?

[Bob]

Absolutely. You upload the consciousness of the individual, they can exist online making content they've never seen them in real life. It's Pied Piper leading them all into the machine slaughter.

[Wade]

I feel like if we looked at certain points of Bob's career, we could probably pinpoint the progress, what he was uploading, how he was acting, where he. He was living.

[Bob]

Yeah.

[Wade]

In different events that were happening in those areas. I think there's a lot of dots to be connected and Sarah Williams is the key.

[Bob]

Yeah, I actually have another quote from Sarah Williams. I think it's her last one. So this is from. This is a text transcription of an audio log that Sarah left behind on her final exploration. I've made it into a room that appears to be some sort of control center. There are monitors displaying real time analytics of listener engagement, biometric data, even geolocation. It's not just a popular podcast. It's a data collection operation on a massive scale. And there's something else. Files marked Phase Three. I didn't open them, but their very existence is chilling. This isn't just unethical, it's organized, premeditated exploitation. I've gathered as much evidence as I can, and I'm getting out of here before I'm discovered. What I've seen goes beyond mere speculation or conspiracy theory. It's organized manipulation with unknown but clearly dangerous aims. Whoever's behind this has resources, forces, intelligence, and a complete disregard for ethical boundaries. Listen, if you're tuning into that podcast or thinking about it, just stop. Don't be another pawn in their game. I'll do everything in my power to expose them. But for now, stay safe and stay skeptical. People have disappeared and the rest is just screaming.

[Wade]

I tried to look up what happened to her, and I. What I got was Sarah Williams. The intrepid investigative journalist had always been relentless in her pursuit of the truth. But when she got too close to a shadowy conspiracy, she mysteriously vanished without a trace. Trace. Leaving behind a trail of clues and a haunting question that still lingers in the world of journalism. Kind of fits what her warning was all about.

[Bob]

Absolutely. I think at the core of all this, we need to look more deeply into who this Robert is.

[Wade]

Agreed. Also, Bob points.

[DLive]

So listen. Hey, folks, that's all we have time for. Today on the Curious Conspiracy Corner, we've explored some wild theories, some wacky ideas, maybe even ventured a bit too close to the edge of absurdity. Remember, conspiracy theories are meant for entertainment purposes, not for taking seriously. So please don't go accusing anyone of secret syndicates or government activity or anything without any evidence, which we did not present any today because this was just for jokes and stuff. And, yeah,

[Bob]

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