Going Nuclear

Summary

Distractible – “Going Nuclear”

Release Date: June 29, 2026
Hosts: Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, Bob Muyskens

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode of Distractible, titled “Going Nuclear,” the trio dives into a sprawling, tangent-filled conversation centered (loosely) on the theme of all things “nuclear”—from nuclear power plants and accidents, to the quirks of language, to nuclear-powered household items and, inevitably, plenty of digressions ranging from pizza roll cooking methods to awkward fan encounters.
The episode balances humorous banter and self-deprecating stories with interesting factual tidbits, all while the three friends tally playful “points” and bicker about rules, bounties, and who’s king of the day.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Small Talk and Wade’s “Nuclear” Addictions (03:01–16:35)

• Wade’s Vacation: Wade kicks off with a recap of his trip to Virginia, discussing visits to retro game stores and rekindling his addiction to collectible card games.
• A Cardboard Problem: Wade recounts impulsively returning to Pokémon card collecting after a friend’s nudge, with Mark immediately joking, “$4,000 later, Wade has a stack of valueless Pokémon cards in his closet.” (05:08)
• The Madness of Card Collecting: Wade laments the over-the-top state of modern card collecting — with confusing card numberings, rampant scalping, and how a single card (like the Latias/Latios “heart” card) can fetch over $2,000. He admits he can’t simply “dabble” in hobbies.
• Scalpers and Card Pricing: The conversation explores how scarcity, scalping, and company policies have distorted the trading card market, with local shops instituting strict purchasing limits.
  Notable Quote (“Scalpers are monsters.” – Wade, 12:41)

2. DoorDash Dependency & Uncomfortable Realizations (14:34–16:21)

• Six Years of Ordering: Wade sheepishly shares that DoorDash revealed he’s saved $13,900 in fees with his subscription over six years. Mark and Bob express horror at the math, to which Bob jokes, “Listeners, I’m doing air quotes. Sam, please put in a sound effect for my air quotes.” (15:31)

3. Chernobyl, Nuclear Disasters, and Explanations (17:01–23:34)

• Chernobyl Recap: Having recently watched HBO’s “Chernobyl,” Wade recaps the infamous disaster with surprising detail (and some errors), highlighting poor reactor design, cost-cutting, and managerial incompetence.
• Science Lesson Tangent: Bob teases Wade’s newfound “expertise”: “This guy watches one miniseries, knows how nukes work.” (18:39)
• Swiss Cheese of Failure: Mark introduces the “Swiss cheese model”—how unlikely disasters result from multiple small failures aligning: “Every once in a while, there’s going to be one that has a hole all the way through—that’s the Swiss cheese of failure.” (22:28)
• Cheesy Jokes: This leads to a riff on cheese—“Keep cheese out of your holes. Keep holes out of your cheese, everyone.” (Mark, 23:16) culminating in a faux PSA and extended joke about cheese inspections.

4. Is Nuclear Power Safe? Technology & Hype (23:34–29:11)

• Modern Nuclear Debate: The hosts debate the pros and cons of nuclear power, referencing Fukushima and Three Mile Island while distinguishing between freak accidents and systemic failures.
• Thorium Reactors: Mark and Bob touch on emerging thorium salt reactor technology—safer but still facing major technical and regulatory hurdles.
• The Limits of Their Expertise: Recognizing they’re getting out of their depth, Mark concludes, “We’re making all the actual nuclear engineers mad. Which is my favorite thing to do, somehow.” (29:03)

5. Language Wars: “Nuclear” vs. “Nucular” (29:16–31:52)

• Pronunciation Pet Peeve: Mark sparks a debate over the common mispronunciation “nucular.” Bob reflects on linguistic diversity, while Wade shrugs: “I’ve got a lot of Southern isms in my family, I’ve heard 'nucular' a bunch.”
• Wade, King of Patience: Mark offers, “If as a society we can start fighting about that stuff again, we’re in a good place.” (31:21)
• Knife Stabbing Meme: This escalates into a surreal bit about “stabbing” each other (physically and metaphorically), showing Distractible’s love for riffing on its own nonsense.

6. Fan Encounter Anecdotes (33:40–43:17)

• Mark’s Height Controversy: Mark fends off rumors he’s short after a fan shares a photo, but the picture proves otherwise: “Literally, in the photo you posted, I’m taller than both of you. Like, what the…Why would you do this to me?” (35:12)
• Wade’s Airport Adventure: Wade tells of two police officers recognizing him at an airport after handling drama with angry passengers; he worried it was trouble but it was all for a fan photo.
• Bob’s Roller Coaster Shame: Bob recounts painfully being “too big” for a coaster at Kings Island — which got even worse when a staff person recognized him—in front of the entire train packed with waiting guests.

7. Tangent Collection: Cooking & Recycling (46:35–58:53)

• Survival Fantasies & Tin Cans: Talk veers from morbid Arctic expeditions and eating out of lead cans to why British explorers keep dying in Norwegian history books.
• Microplastics Paranoia: Bob jokes, “I’m already like 18% microplastic,” and expresses existential dread about what future generations will say about our casual consumption of toxins.
• DIY Recycling & Macrowave Madness: Mark muses about home aluminum smelters and microwave science, inspired by YouTubers melting things with “macro microwaves”—a dangerous game they’re far too entertained by.

8. How Microwaves Really Work? (54:14–56:01)

• Do We Really Understand?: The guys express confusion over how microwaves heat food, and why metal becomes plasma inside. Mark: “It’s understood how the microwaves are generated...I don’t know how it works completely.” (54:56)
• Science Shrug: “It probably does make water molecules vibrate in food. And then it also does other things depending on the material...” (Mark, 55:20)

9. Nuclear Waste, Safety, and Wild Schemes (57:00–61:14)

• Modern Nuclear Pros & Cons: Consensus is that nuclear is safe (if well-engineered), produces little waste compared to fossil fuels, and is environmentally sound—except for the sticky issue of long-lived radioactive waste.
• Storage “Solutions”:
  • Bury it in a mountain
  • Launch it at the moon or sun
  • Throw it in a volcano and cork it off
• Classic Distractible Logic: Mark: “What if I put it in a can crusher and I put that in my microwave and I turn it into something else?” (60:26)
  They acknowledge a lot of their “solutions” are not, in fact, real solutions.

10. Airport Detectors & Mysteries (61:14–63:37)

• Mark describes a bizarre scene at a Polish airport where a beeping detector and secretive official led an unknown group away: “No announcement, nothing was said. Everyone just resumed back into security.”
• Bob, relating it to his Pokémon card haul: “It’s actually a detector for full arts, really valuable Pokémon cards…” (62:58)

11. Point Scoring, Bounties & The Ritual of Winning (67:02–71:30)

• Bounty Achievement: Mark redeems a “bounty” for submitting a photo of his dog in Distractible merch—the first ever on the show. Immediate debate over how many points this is worth.
• Final points: Mark crushes the episode, earning 15 points, Bob 6, and Wade 5.
• Loser/Winner Speeches:
  • Bob: “I suck and I deserve to lose. So says the wheel. So says the universe.” (69:59)
  • Mark (tongue-in-cheek): “I can barely be humble with all these accolades...I said the random stuff better somehow. Fate aligned with me on this day.” (70:40)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker |
| --- | --- | --- |
| 05:08 | “$4,000 later, Wade has a stack of valueless Pokémon cards in his closet.” | Mark |
| 12:41 | “Scalpers are monsters.” | Wade |
| 18:39 | “This guy watches one miniseries, knows how nukes work.” | Bob |
| 22:28 | “[Swiss cheese failure]—every once in a while...there’s going to be one that has a hole all the way through and that’s the Swiss cheese of failure.” | Mark |
| 23:16 | “Keep cheese out of your holes. Keep holes out of your cheese.” | Mark |
| 31:21 | “If we’re, as a society, to the point where we can start fighting about that stuff again, we’re in a good place.” | Mark |
| 35:12 | “Literally, in the photo you posted, I’m taller than both of you...Why would you do this to me?” | Mark |
| 39:36 | “I was like, oh, thank God. I didn’t know what you guys—like, I didn’t know...I didn’t do anything wrong, I swear.” | Wade |
| 43:17 | “Look, everybody. This is Bob. Cool.” (after being recognized on a roller coaster for being “too big” to fit) | Coaster staff |
| 54:56 | “It’s understood how the microwaves are generated...I don’t know how it works completely.” | Mark |
| 59:07 | “It’s like restaurants in the 90s. We just need to make sure that we’re in the non-smoking section of the earth and everyone else can have the nuclear fallout.” | Mark |
| 69:59 | “I suck and I deserve to lose. So says the wheel. So says the universe.” | Bob |
| 70:40 | “I can barely be humble with all these accolades being heaped upon me, but I will humbly accept them all. I did it.” | Mark |

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Section Timestamps

• [03:01] — Wade’s Small Talk & Pokémon Card Confessions
• [14:34] — DoorDash Overuse & Sobering Math
• [17:01] — Chernobyl Recap and Nuclear Accident Talk
• [23:34] — Value, Risks, and Thorium Reactors
• [29:16] — “Nuclear” vs. “Nucular” Language Debate
• [33:40] — Fan Encounters (Height, Police, Coasters)
• [46:35] — Expeditions, Toxins, Microplastics
• [54:14] — Microwave Mysteries
• [57:00] — Nuclear Power Debate & Waste Problem
• [61:14] — Polish Airport Detector Story
• [67:02] — Bounties, Points Tallying, and Loser/Winner Speeches

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Tone & Style

True to Distractible form, the episode is rambunctious, self-aware, and never afraid to chase a tangent. The hosts wedge jokes and running gags (“cheesy holes,” point scoring, brand slander, the endless bounty debate) into their attempts at theme. The language is informal, often irreverent, and always playful—balancing earnest curiosity with relentless self-mockery.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a masterclass in Distractible’s formula: start with a topic, spiral into absurdity, and let the personalities, not the subject, define the journey.
Listeners will enjoy nuclear trivia, hilarious personal stories, accidental wisdom, and classic Distractible chaos—with plenty of quotable moments and belly laughs along the way.

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Advertisements, intros, and outros have been skipped in this summary for clarity and focus on the episode content.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Starbucks. That is fire.

[B]

Whoa, that's good.

[C]

This might be the drink of the summer.

[A]

Okay, I like this one too. I'm rocking with it.

[B]

Okay, try it for yourself.

[A]

Starbucks refreshers concentrates are coming home.

[B]

Find them in the coffee aisle and make it yours. Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, Whittling. Wade sates his wanderlust, has a Patel rised magenta. He starts an addiction that explains CCGs and Chernobyl moon smashing. Mark trashes his thonker, gets a cheesy hole and discusses thorium and neutrons. Beatified Bob gives an infomercial, probes pronunciations, stabs Mark and famously misses coasters from brimstone beauty to Polish pylons. Yes, it's time for Going Nuclear. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hey, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Distractable. I'm today's host. I don't do this very often anymore. Why? I've fallen off. But today I do. And I'm joined as always by my co hosts, Mark and Bob. Hello.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

How are you doing, you handsome devil?

[B]

Doing pretty good. Had a good week. That I'll talk about later.

[C]

You delightful demon.

[A]

Stop.

[C]

You smart spawn of Satan.

[A]

I think that was still technically a compliment.

[B]

Maybe write something down. It might be good.

[A]

If it feels good, isn't it good?

[C]

They say that Satan was the most beautiful of all the angels. They specify that.

[A]

I think that's biblical.

[C]

I'm pretty sure it's biblical.

[A]

I believe you.

[B]

And on the fifth day, God looked at Satan, said, damn, I might be going to hell for that joke alone.

[C]

Doing ah, to see Satan right for yourself, just to know what it's all about.

[B]

That's why I took the seventh day off. You know what I mean?

[C]

It was a bad breakup. That's what caused the fall. It's, you know, it's like, you know, history by the victors. God just writing, Satan's such an I got me.

[B]

Damn him. God really wrote the first Taylor Swift album.

[A]

Me. Damn you, Satan.

[C]

He's gonna be in hell where evil people go. And I made that. It's not his choice, it's mine.

[A]

Sounds like a Trump speech. And I made that. And that's how it's always been.

[B]

I have a blank cage, baby, and I'll put you in.

[A]

That was funny.

[B]

Anyway, this is a show we host, we do game, we small talk, small talk. I got small talk. You guys have small talk.

[A]

I got small talk.

[C]

I Got small talk.

[B]

Small talk. Who first? Small talk.

[C]

You go first.

[A]

Me? Yeah.

[C]

If you use it up now, you won't get any points in the future where to be.

[B]

I've got to be careful or else I might give myself the segue point. Well, I've been gone. We. We haven't seen each other in a couple of weeks because I was out of town. Molly and I went on a trip to Virginia. Hung out with some friends. It was a really nice needed break. However, we did a lot, which is also fun. But that's that thing where you go on vacation. You come back, you're like, oh, I'm so tired. I need like a week to recover from a vacation.

[A]

Classic mistake.

[B]

But it was, it was really fun. We had a lot of good food, had some pool time. I got to test my knee a little bit, which is better. I still have moments where it doesn't really hurt, but it just feel something is still weird about it. And Tyler had some theories on that because we got to see Tyler too. He's had some knee stuff going on. So I might go get some imaging done to see. I forget what he said. He was like, your magenta might be between your patellar bow flex. And I was like, oh, that sounds right.

[C]

Oh, your doctor. Exactly.

[B]

That my magenter is between my patellar and my bow flex.

[A]

You'll say it and the doctor will be like. But then say, no, no, Tyler told me that. And the doctor will be like, oh, Tyler.

[C]

You know Tyler from Hit podcast Go.

[B]

My favorite sports team. That's the one Dog.

[C]

Oh my God. And then he starts going cross eyed and talking in an action. He's like, yeah, you're magenta. Real patillar ass.

[B]

I hate when my doctor goes, hill's a Tennessee accent.

[C]

No, you love when your doctor do that.

[B]

I love when my doctor goes, hills a Tennessee accent. Accent accident. No accent accidents. Different.

[A]

Hill's a Tennessee accident.

[B]

Oh, what else? Oh, the real horrible tragedy of what happened in Virginia. We went to some retro like game stores and stuff where they have figurines and video games. And we were looking around at those kinds of things. They had cards and Tyler and Bird, I guess have been collecting different, like collectible cards. There's all kinds now. There's, you know, there's Yu Gi. Oh, magic Pokemon one piece. Like, I guess everything has a card set now. I used to collect Pokemon cards back in like the 90s. I made the mistake of mentioning that. And the guys were like, just like, buy a pack for old times sake. I Was like, guys, it's probably a bad idea. When I listen, I don't dip my toe into things. If I go in, I dive in head first, that I'm. I'm all in. Like, oh, come on. One pack. It won't be that bad.

[A]

$4,000 later, Wade has a stack of valueless Pokemon cards in his closet.

[B]

Only two?

[A]

2,000?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Holy shit. Whoa. What did you do?

[B]

I bought a lot of cards.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

Did you get a single good one that was worth anything?

[B]

Yeah, actually, so. So I started going in on Prismatic Evolution and Chaos Rising sets. What does that even mean?

[A]

What does that mean? Prismatic Evolution and Chaos Rising?

[B]

Please, people who know. No, if you don't know, I'm not listen. Every six months a new Pokemon set comes out. It feels like. Or something.

[C]

What the hell is this chaos? What am I looking at?

[B]

So back whenever I collected cards, there was the base set of Pokemon. Right? Where you just had the. There's no symbols. There was. No, no, it was just. That was the only Pokemon cards that existed.

[A]

The first six Pokemon, Yes.

[B]

Then came the Jungle, Fossil and Rocket sets. And then I guess some like Gym Leader set came after. I don't know. I stopped sometime during the Rocket Pokemon card release that came after. I think Fossil was the third one. And that's. That's the last I'd collected cards since whatever year that was, 2000. So I've seen that cards exist and people collect them. I've seen that, like, if you have a pack of cards unopened from like the 90s, the first set, the pack itself unopened, goes for like six $700, because it could contain something crazy. If you have a box from back then, a box of packs that can go for like $40,000. It's crazy what you can just. If you just buy something and you do the Wade version of just stash it away, my God, one day it might be worth something.

[A]

Just imagine if 9 year old me was enough of a sociopath to not open any Pokemon card packs I ever got while I was a child.

[B]

So I do have a full base set, but mine are played. So mine aren't worth as much as a lot of them would be.

[A]

Whatever.

[B]

But I do have a full base set. And maybe, I don't know, I'd have to look. But anyway, I've gotten. I've gone into the deep end of Pokemon cards. Which is why I don't. I don't do hobbies. If I don't just. I don't just like Dabble. I'm like, mobile game must have every character. Pokemon cards must master set.

[A]

What happened to, like, reading? Or, like, you could whittle? You seem like a guy who would whittle. You strike me as a whittler.

[C]

He does got widdle vibes, don't he? I could see you on a porch in the Appalachians.

[B]

Is it cedar that has, like, the purple center of the wood?

[A]

I think that's patchouli.

[B]

No.

[A]

What's that called? Pipee pooh. No, hang on.

[C]

It's Pepeepu wood. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, it's purple cedar. Purple cedar. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. So I think whenever I was young, I had a pocket knife and my whittling of cedar was literally just like, aha. I'll go in a circle for hours.

[A]

Smaller now.

[B]

I did it, Grandpa, look.

[A]

I thought whittling was distinct from carving because when you whittle, you kind of are just fucking up the wood. Like, you're kind of just like, get rid of this stupid. What? One tiny shred at a time. I'm whittling.

[B]

I don't know. I was like, 10, and that's what I did. And that's the last. I was probably.

[C]

I don't.

[B]

I have no idea. I'm somewhere between the ages of 9 and 13. Probably. I don't know.

[C]

Wait, I'm going to share you something on Discord. And, you know, we don't. We don't have to talk about further, but I think it's going to earn me some points, so I'm just going to share this with you. If you look up purple cedar, you know, there's a. There's a video, and I think that earns me some points.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So should I describe the image?

[C]

No, you don't need to describe it. You don't need to describe. We don't need to talk about it. We don't need to talk about it.

[A]

Listeners and viewers alike will have to figure that one out for themselves.

[B]

What was I talking about? Whittling. Pokemon cards. Yeah. So I've started collecting.

[C]

A little distracted feeling. Feeling distracted, man.

[B]

Yeah. Cedar. It was just like that. Whenever I whittled it. I won't describe the image, but it was just like that. Yeah. I've started collecting. There's so many cards, and it feels like. So each card will have a number, right? It'll be like, if there's 80 cards, it'll be like, oh, you have card 37 out of 80. But apparently now it's a lie because it goes past the number. If you get the rarer cards like, oh, you have card 97 out of

[A]

80, and it's like, what the hell is that? What's the good in that?

[B]

I don't know. Just like, just tell me.

[A]

Numbers have meaning.

[B]

I agree. Just tell me how many cards are total in the set so I know if I got them all so I can put them in a nice order and know. Don't tell me I've got like, oh, card one is this nice, hollow. But card 140 out of 80 is this full art, rare gold.

[C]

I hate it so much. I hate it so much.

[A]

God, now that you're in that, I know you're not, like, an expert because you just started doing it. Can I. Can I just ask, do people do that? Do people get into Pokemon because it's like, oh, well, this specific set appeals, or is it literally like, oh, the value on these packs is trending up and there's a card you could get. There's a pull you could get from this set that's worth like $800. Is it money or is it. Because when I look, I'm like, well, it's cool. But how. How do you care about a thing where they just keep adding shit to it and they keep getting more complex? Is it really sentimental for people? I don't know. It just seems crazy to me.

[B]

I think the answer is both. I think some people genuinely just enjoy collecting and like the cards and like Pokemon. I think the way that it's actually happening now is scalpers are running so rampant that the moment something launches, a lot of places limit how much you can buy, because people buy all of the stock up. No matter the price, they buy it all up. $80 a box. I'll take 100 boxes. And then they immediately list it for 400% markup on eBay, other sites. So, like, hey, this box that came out today for an $80 retail price, $450, it's yours. And that's how all of it is done now. So a lot of places, like, I've been to some local card shops around Cincinnati. Molly. I went out yesterday and just had lunch and stopped by a couple, and a lot of them had limits. Like, you can only buy six packs. You can only buy one box. And it's like, actually, I respect that because that means, like, you know, if kids come in and want to buy it, at least there's a chance that they could get something. But each set also has cards that are worth. You know, they call them bulk. They're, like, worthless Cards. I guess to me it's cool because that's like if I want a master said I want one of each card from a set, right? But people go for the chase cards, which are ones they put in like the harder cases. They're called top loaders. I've learned. I think all of them are. Maybe there's other ones that aren't, but they have like the sleeves are flimsy. Then you top load that for your really valuable cards. We pulled one that was like a Sylveon from the Prismatic Evolution. That's apparently like a 2 to $400 card ungraded. So that was a great pull. I pulled that. That was greatly. Bird pulled it, but it's mine and that's cool to see stuff like that. But for me it's just. I don't plan on like selling them. So for me it's like I'm going to collect them and I want to have like a set. I just want to have that set together like I did, however long ago. And I hope I don't try to get every set, especially the old ones because my God, the cost is insane. There's like a lot of sladias. If you guys know those two legendaries, they're like jet plane looking birds from Gen 3. There's a card where they're like, they form a heart with like their heads in their neck. The cheapest I could even see that card in existence. I wasn't looking to buy, just someone had told me it was expensive. Like how expensive could it be? The cheapest one I could find was $2,000 for one piece of cardboard.

[A]

I better start printing stuff on pieces of cardboard. See what happens. You guys want to make some distractible collectible cards?

[B]

That's apparently a crazy industry. Might as well. But yeah, scalpers have. The reason everything's so crazily priced is because people are like, people want this. What if I hoard this and raise price because they're fucking monsters. Scalpers are monsters.

[C]

But I mean it is just crazy how the, the, the way that people think about the money and it gets, it just destroys anything. But it's worse when the companies lean into it. I feel like there's a lot from the Pokemon company that's probably like very happy that a lot of people are trying to fight for the value of this and you know, then they can raise their own prices and then they're going to.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's probably, that's probably funny though because like they see this and they're like, oh, yeah, all people fucking love these things. We got to make more. It's like, yeah, well, you're selling them for $80 a box or whatever, and then someone sells what's in that box for $5,000, and you don't see any of that shit.

[B]

Yeah, that's the thing is, like, a lot of the retail, it's still high. I don't know what a pack comes out to typically now. Maybe like six to eight dollars a pack or something, maybe more. But, like, whenever we were collecting, I say we. Whenever I was collecting back in the 90s, it was like literally 299 or 399 for a single pack.

[A]

Yeah, well, I used to do magic when I was in, like, middle school, high school, Magic the Gathering and I. It was like two or three bucks for a booster back then. So you could go. Go to. Go to the local store, grab a few boosters for like 8 or 10 bucks, maybe have a good time, open some packs, get nothing.

[B]

Now it's higher the base value, but you're never going to find base value anywhere. GameStop just got in. I wouldn't say in trouble, but there was a lot of controversy on GameStop. GameStop because they themselves raised prices rather than waiting for scalpers. They were like, what if we just charge more? I don't know how much they went up. People, A lot of people were upset. Some people defended it, Some people were upset about it, whatever. But, like, they were just like, why let scalpers raise the price when we can?

[C]

It's the dynamics of the market. You know, we. The Strait of Hormuz is closed. Immediately raise prices. Oh, it's open. Let's hold off. Let's not lower them just yet.

[A]

Can't push it back down. You don't know if the prices are going to go back down, which we

[C]

control, in the end, kept getting closed again. So I guess. I guess there may be some logic in that, but.

[B]

No, you know, it's weird. It's just a little weird. I also had a. Really. Speaking of spending lots of money, you guys, God, I'm ashamed to admit this.

[A]

What's going on with you? All right.

[B]

Doordash. I've used doordash a lot. So for six years, I've been using their subscription service for deliveries. And they were like, here's how much you've saved over the last six years by using DoorDash.

[A]

That's rude. That's just rude.

[B]

Do you have any idea what that number was?

[C]

5. Figure is this. Is this five year?

[A]

Is this five figure number, $60,000.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

I don't know. You eat a lot of food.

[C]

You've eaten a lot.

[A]

And that goes back to Covid, where it was like there were periods during. During lockdowns and shit where it was like, if you didn't have groceries, what are you supposed to do?

[B]

It was 13,900.

[C]

I knew it was five figures. I knew it was five figures.$ I

[B]

saved $13,900 on deliveries over six years. You saved?

[C]

Listeners, I'm doing air quotes. Sam, please put in a sound effect for my air quotes.

[A]

Did it have the total that you've spent accompanying that, or was it just

[B]

like, thank God if it did, I didn't see it. I only saw the savings, what I've saved on fees, delivery and whatever else that, you know, the 18,000 charges you get.

[C]

Good Lord, in five years. I would bet. I don't think it's six figures. I bet it's not over 100,000, but I bet it's pretty up there.

[B]

I mean, if you think about having a meal delivered probably on average one to two times. Not two times a day, but probably at least once a day.

[A]

Part of that too, is you feed a lot of people. I feel like a lot of we do or doordashing. It's like, well, we have guests in town and we need food and we don't want to bring a party of 10 people to a restaurant necessarily, or whatever. And I'm not cooking for my friends.

[B]

All my money is going to Pokemon cards and doordash.

[A]

So half of it is definitely weight. Eating Freddy's while we're filming. Distractible.

[B]

I've not had that in a minute. Sounds good. I've not had lunch yet. Thanks, man.

[C]

He's going to order now.

[A]

He's going to order some Freddy's for while we record. Yeah.

[B]

Wait, they have Pokemon cards too.

[C]

You can doordash Pokemon cars.

[B]

I don't know. I don't. Please don't let me look at that. I don't want to know. All right, that's my small talk. I've taken a few. And I had an episode too. Oh, well, we'll see how it goes.

[A]

You did it this time. It wasn't even us.

[B]

I did. I had a lot to talk about.

[C]

We could skip it. I also have a lot to talk about. We could save it for the next episode if you just want to go straight on. Give yourself the small talk point and the segue point, man, you're in the lead. You're doing so good.

[B]

I am all the small talk of my own episode. I'm such a rude ass. That's why I don't get the host anymore.

[C]

You're such a rude ass.

[B]

Another thing I did while traveling because I didn't have a book with me is I watched. I watched a show that I hadn't seen, but I've been interested in watching. I watched Chernobyl on hbo. Max, great show.

[C]

Fantastic show.

[B]

And Segway. I want to talk about us going nuclear. Today's episode's all about nuclear.

[C]

Okay. All right. Who would I nuke? Let's start with countries that I hate the most.

[B]

I meant power. But you can nuke if you.

[C]

Oh, oh, power. Oh.

[A]

What are we doing? Sports teams, individuals, institutions. What are we nuking?

[B]

Mark's like, wait, is Sour Patch Kids a country? I learned that the one episode I haven't forgotten.

[C]

I say we nuke the moon. Take that, a James.

[A]

What would he photograph then?

[C]

He would get the prettiest picture of, like, the nuke exploding the moon, have

[A]

a new calendar called the End of the Moon. That was just a sequence of Mark nuking the moon bits.

[B]

How many nukes would it take to destroy the moon?

[A]

I don't know. Mr. Owl, why don't you show us

[C]

a one, a two,

[A]

a different commercial.

[B]

The way that for everyone out there, nuclear stuff at least worked back then was you had, like, fuel rods, nuclear fuel rods. They would react, their reaction would produce heat, heat would boil water, water turns into steam. Steam creates power. And that's how it was supposed to work. And then you have these control rods that are supposed to go into the nuclear react, that stop or slow down the reaction. That was your emergency brakes.

[C]

This guy watches one miniseries, knows how nukes work.

[B]

Well, it's a simple. That. That's a pretty.

[C]

It's a simple. It's a simple science.

[B]

That's such a simple breakdown of a very complicated process. Like, that's Baby's description of nuclear power.

[C]

All right, Comrade Legasov and Chernobyl, a

[B]

lot of things went wrong. For one, they were supposed to be doing a test. Then someone was like, hey, actually, we need more power for the day. Can you guys just. So they'd gone into low power mode. And they were like, all right, we're going to run this test. And someone made the call, like, actually, can you put the test off for 12 hours? And they're like, yes, because here we only say yes. So the nuclear power plant stayed in low power mode all day, which is not good for it. It was beating building up, like xenon gas and other stuff that wasn't great for the reactor because it wasn't running at full power. It wasn't burning away.

[C]

As usual.

[B]

When they went to run the test, they were like, huh, Some of this shit doesn't look right. And the guy running the test was like, no, it's fine. Trust me, I'm an expert. Night shift had never been prepared for the tests. They'd never learned how to do them. They hadn't studied them. They were just like, hey, is this a good idea? All these things say not to do it. And the guy in charge is like, yeah, yeah, but I'm the expert. Do it. I want this promotion. Do it. So they do all these things to run the test. And then the nuclear reactor, they're supposed to stop, I think, at like 700, I don't know, kilowatts or whatever. It was a power. And then the reactor's like, oh, I'm still going down, I'm still going down. Power basically goes all the way down. And the way that they decided to bring power back up was removing some of those safety rods. They're like, oh, let's pull these control rods out. That way they're not stopping the nuclear reaction. Nuclear reaction can go, we'll get our power back. And it did. But all of a sudden there were no. I think it was down to like 18. Out of, what, 250 control rods, only 18 were left inside. And the nuclear reaction was like, hey, there's nothing stopping me. I'm. Let's fucking go crazy. Ultimately, as the numbers started shooting up, there was a kill switch. I forget it was called. There was a name for it, but they hit the kill switch like, all right, put all the new the rods back in. We're shutting this down finally. However, there was a flaw in the design of the nuclear control rods. In order to save money, they had graphite tipped control rods instead of whatever it was supposed to be. I don't know what the alternative was, but the graphite itself, whenever inserted into the core, has a temporary moment of actually increasing the reaction rather than decreasing. So even though the rod itself is supposed to stop it, the moment all of those graphite tips went in, it was basically like a bunch of lighters at a gas station. Just like, what if we just light a bunch of fires here real quick and then reactor go boom and meltdown happen? Radiation leaked. Some disasters were actually prevented that could have been a lot worse at Chernobyl, but I think it's still responsible for at least four to 9,000 deaths, plus who knows how many cancers, and so on and so forth. But those are the basics of Chernobyl. However, the kill switch in theory should have worked if government wasn't cheap and didn't say, well, what are the odds of the graphite tipped things causing a problem? All these things have to go wrong for it to be bad. And then it was, and it did, and so on and so forth. The only other nuclear things problems I know about, there was a thing at Three Mile island in Pennsylvania in the 70s, and then there was Fukushima back in like, what was it, 2011. Those are the only other ones I personally know about. I don't know what caused the issues at 3 mile. I've not looked into that one. Fukushima, there was a, like a magnitude 9 earthquake and then a tsunami went over the protective wall, hit the power plant, drowned the steam engines, took away any ability for power to keep water cooling the reactors. And since it was being hit with seawater, all of the power was gone. All they were doing all kinds of shit to try to get power to these reactors. They couldn't do it fast enough. And then boom, boom, boom, boom from hydrogen buildup and so on and so forth.

[C]

They call it a Swiss cheese of failure.

[B]

I didn't know that. Is that true?

[C]

You don't know about the term Swiss cheese of failure?

[B]

I did not. It's like if you line up slices

[C]

of Swiss cheese from say, a different cheese block, there's not much chance that you're going to get a hole that goes all the way through.

[B]

But every once in a while, in

[C]

rare circumstances, we line up enough Swiss cheese slices, there's going to be one, that series of Swiss cheese that has a hole that goes all the way through and that's the Swiss cheese of failure. It's rare. Chances need to overlap for it to happen.

[A]

So I only eat American cheese.

[C]

I think we found our first country we need to nuke, which is the

[A]

subject of this episode and their shitty cheese.

[C]

And any other country that has holes with holes with cheese in them.

[A]

Cheese with holes in holes with cheese around them.

[C]

Anyone that's got cheese in their holes, you deserve to be nuked. I think I speak for everyone here.

[A]

That's the official stance of Distractable, hosted by Wade.

[C]

He's the leader of this operation.

[B]

Oh, God. Keep cheese out of your holes. Keep holes out of your cheese, everyone. That's today's psa and we're gonna have

[C]

regular hole inspections to make sure those holes aren't cheesy.

[B]

Please don't ask me to inspect your holes. Wade's gonna do it. I don't want to. I really don't. I don't want to. Cavity search for cheese. No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

Not cavity search. Hole search.

[B]

What are we talking about? Nuclear. Nuclear power. Oh, those are what I know about. You guys are welcome to describe Three Mile if you know what happened at Three Mile. But ultimately there's still a huge debate about whether or not nuclear power is safe. From what I can tell, Fukushima sounded like a pretty freak accident. But there were still some cutting cost things that went into effect that led to it being a disaster. Chernobyl. If they'd had the right kind of control rods in place. Yeah, the fucking idiot running the thing was going to cause a disaster. But the shut off button still should have shut off. Both of those things I think should in theory still have been preventable. Fukushima. I'm a little bit less of a. I'm a little bit less knowledgeable about other than the basics I already described. But a lot of people still argue that nuclear power is still safer and still has less of a death toll.

[C]

I've got it and I got the perfect company to do. I know what you're asking us. You don't even need to explain anymore. Ryobi nuclear batteries. I think the entire Ryobi line could be souped up.

[A]

If it's already green.

[C]

It's already green. It's already green. Nothing greener than Nuke Lear.

[A]

That's what I say.

[B]

I love the catchphrase like you bought. You pick up the drill and it's like nothing greener than. And it's just like a mushroom cloud.

[C]

I love it when my mushroom clouds are green. That's when you know they're good. That's a Ryobi branding on there. Ryobi. Call me. I'm going to get so many sponsors by the end of this year. I'm going to be so sponsored.

[B]

Nuclear power Ryobi go. Well no GoPro is probably chosen Bob

[C]

already we'll get to go for nuclear GOPROs would be also be awesome. But I think if a Ryobi chainsaw that's nuclear powered instead of like revving or whirring, it's like just the clicks from a Geiger counter and so you just like the radiation goes up.

[A]

Get your new Ryobi brushless nuclear drill. With new new Ryobi's new 1.21 gigawatt nuclear powered 4amp hour battery. Your tool will be powered for slightly longer than on the old ones.

[C]

Oh, the best of the best, right? This is what you wanted out of this episode, right? Oh, yeah.

[B]

I mean, imagine, like, do you guys ever had, like a little flower bed outside and like, weeds keep popping up and it's so annoying. Like, but imagine your nuclear spray that just keeps the weeds gone forever.

[C]

Well, that's just

[B]

because it'll kill you. Allegedly. Allegedly. There's nuclear maybe.

[C]

Yes, maybe. Protect me. Protect me from myself.

[B]

Protect our brand slander.

[A]

Protect us, Ryobi.

[B]

Come on.

[C]

I'm the joker. But with lawsuits.

[B]

Come on, sue me.

[C]

Sue me. I watch it.

[A]

Do it. I'm like a dog biting mailman. I just keep getting more lawsuits.

[C]

I keep chasing sponsors. I wouldn't know. What if I actually got one?

[B]

What would I do?

[C]

I would do what I did with

[B]

Prusa, where, like, I putts around and don't make a video for six goddamn months.

[A]

Hey, they're cool. We're cool, right? Prusa, you're cool.

[C]

I, I did have this revelation on, on like a stream yesterday where I'm like, hey, I kind of have. If everyone in my audience knows that I haven't done a brand video for Prusa, I've done the job right.

[A]

It's kind of perfect viral marketing, really. Because then there's a bunch of people feeling sympathy for Prusa. And if any of them needs a 3D printer, they're like, mark's not going to make a video.

[C]

I got to buy one of the others, I guess.

[A]

Yeah, help these guys out.

[B]

I got to reach out and see if I get more sponsorships where I don't. Don't do what I agree to. To see if. Guys, the sympathy you'll garnish over the next five years will be crazy.

[C]

Yeah, I know, right? The sympathy.

[B]

You get so many sympathy sales.

[C]

You're going to. It's going to be through the roof.

[A]

It's the new. It's the new generation of pain exposure. But you guys in sympathy just wait.

[B]

I really want a 3D printer, but Mark didn't do the video, so I guess I'll get one. As an empath, I really feel for PRUSA. Nuclear powered 3D printing would go hard.

[A]

What are we talking about? Nuclear.

[B]

Nuclear, anything. Nuclear. This is just. We're going nuclear. Today we talk about power plants. Is nuclear power the way in a serious space?

[A]

The.

[C]

There's been developments. I don't know what it is, but there's been developments in thorium reactors. I haven't checked up on it in thorium salt Reactors. I don't think before it was practical, there was something about it that's practical. It was safer. But with thorium salts, there's a much lower, like, power ratio. You can get out of it in the current way that they make them. I forget what the main problem is, though. It was there was something that was fundamentally a problem with it that needed more research to get further in.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Thorium, ironically, also was the thing that was coating those Minolta lenses that makes it radioactive. So, you know, it's good.

[B]

Yeah. So thorium, it looks like, still involves using fissile fuel. So nuclear material, molten salts are highly corrosive at extreme temperatures, requiring advanced expensive alloys. There's not really a streamlined global framework for cooling and regulation because it's such a new technology, I guess.

[C]

All right, so I think maybe the issue was that thorium, to become fissile, it needs to absorb a neutron to become Uranium233. But the problem is Uranium233 could quickly or fairly simply turn into plutonium. No, prot. Protactinium 233. The fuck is that shit?

[A]

Sounds like bad news.

[B]

Never heard of that one.

[C]

All right, okay. This is where we're starting to babble about things that we don't know about and we're making all the actual nuclear engineers mad. Which is my favorite thing to do somehow.

[B]

Still better than our brander brand. Slander brand.

[C]

You've coined a term for.

[A]

I, I want you guys to settle something for me because I feel conflicted about this.

[C]

This.

[A]

I've already said it once or twice, but this is an honest to God debate. And I think different crowds of different people come down on different sides of this. The word is nuclear, as in nucleus. Nuclear, right?

[C]

Yes, nuclear.

[A]

I don't think any of the three of us sincerely say nuc u l er because of our accents or anything, but that is a way that a large proportion of, of like native English speaking people say that word much the same way as people pronounce, like pillow as pelo or room as rum.

[C]

Is someone in my room? What weirdos would do that?

[A]

We are experts in speaking out loud. So thus we are experts in language. Is nucular is an acceptable way to pronounce the word or is it unacceptable? Because I feel strongly conflicted about this because there are deep parts of me that find it very funny that like George W. Bush said nuclear, right? He was the president of our country. He was the leader of the free world, whatever. And he said that to me when I was a kid. I was like, said it wrong.

[B]

We're going to find her.

[C]

We're going to.

[B]

Nuclear.

[A]

Read the word. It's nuclear, sir. I think a linguist would say, well, language is kind of a living thing, right? So if someone's colloquial pronunciation is accepted as nuke. Nerd.

[B]

Help me, nerd man.

[C]

Language is a living thing.

[B]

I've got a lot of, like, Southern isms in my family, so I feel like I've heard nuclear a bunch. I mean, I said nuclear. If someone I'm talking to says nuclear, I'll just continue to say nuclear.

[A]

Do you, like, say it more emphatically to try and tell them that you're smarter than them?

[B]

I am, but, like, there, you know, everyone knows I'm smarter than them.

[A]

But, like, well, what a thing to throw out there.

[B]

My cross to bear.

[A]

So it's so. To you it's acceptable because, like, friends and family go there. Friends and family have that.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I'm not going to, like, make a big deal out of it.

[C]

Yeah, I don't care. But for different reasons than Wade. I just want to differentiate myself from him a little bit. But I don't care. Just because it's not worth the fight. Like, there's so many. If we're, as a society to the point where we can start fighting about that stuff again, we're in a good place. I think that that's. That's a sign that, you know, society is progressing down to where we want to be. And until we get there, I don't think that we, Any of us can complain too much. You know what I mean?

[A]

You get what I'm saying here?

[C]

You understand what I'm getting at?

[B]

What?

[C]

I'm stabbing at you picking up what I'm.

[B]

What?

[C]

I'm stabbing you. Stabbing what? I'm stabbing.

[A]

I'm stabbing it. I'll stab it with you.

[C]

Okay? Stab. Stab me.

[A]

I'll stab you. Oh, Sam, where do I even get that video of me stabbing Mark?

[B]

Wow, look at all these different angles of him stabbing. That's crazy. Whoa.

[C]

We got a 40 Gaussian splat of

[B]

me getting stabbed by Bob.

[A]

Holy.

[B]

We have a slow mo angle from the knife's perspective.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

We've got the Minority Report psychic future view of Bob stabbing me.

[B]

Dream sequence and everything. Wow, Sam, where'd you get that?

[A]

It's crazy. That's production value right there.

[C]

There's me as the dead wife under the bed sheets before I got stabbed. I don't know whose perspective we're looking at.

[B]

I guess Amy's what happened. Exactly. Hold on. Where's the. That was just you and Bob. Where's the wife come from?

[C]

No, no, it's from Amy's perspective. So Amy's not in this. It's just me under the sheets. You know the dead wife thing. Yeah, no, that's the thing. You can't act like I'm great.

[A]

It doesn't seem like he knows.

[B]

Everyone knows the dead wife thing.

[C]

Everybody knows the dead wife thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I can't tell if you're doing that just to piss him off or if you actually sincerely have no idea.

[B]

We'll never know. So back to nuclear. Or nuclear, if you prefer. I don't.

[A]

I don't either. I guess what we're saying is if you're a watcher or a listener and you say nuclear, but also good for you.

[B]

The noise. But for those listening. Bob made a slight smirk as he gave that one light giggle.

[A]

They know what that noise means. You have to explain my noises.

[B]

It was so light, I barely even heard it. That's the sound my ass makes after I eat too much. Skyline.

[A]

No. No, that's wetter. No. Anyway, let's get back to discussing how nuclear reactors function.

[C]

Right, right, right. Wait, can I talk about. I meant to talk about this during small talk, but. Because there was something that was so funny that happened on my journeys, and it's not necessarily the main point of my small talk, but I met some fans, right?

[A]

Gee. Whoa. So many things happening.

[C]

Someone spotted me through my. Through my mask, which I'm like, hey, if you managed to get me through that, like you, it's totally fine. I usually do in the airport. Both. Because I've never really.

[B]

No one cared who you were until you took off the mask?

[C]

Exactly. Just like that. That's. That's what it was. So I say hi, I take a picture, and we go our separate ways. They were very nice, and they were even very nice afterwards. And they posted the picture on the subreddit and it got tons of tons of votes for some reason. But in. In the comments of this, it's really funny because it just shows like, some people's psychic perceptions, psychological perceptions of reality get distorted in some way because, I don't know, it might be a joke, but someone's like, set a comment, like, he's surprisingly average in height, blah, blah, blah. And the person responded, I'm five nine and my friend is around the same height. He was shorter than us both. Lol. And I'm like, you posted the picture of us and in the picture, I'm taller than both of you.

[B]

Literally. I was so nice of them to bend down to make you look taller. I know that's what someone said. Like, oh, so kind of you to

[C]

bed down so low for this photo.

[B]

Like, literally, in the photo you posted,

[C]

I'm taller than both of you.

[B]

Like, what the.

[C]

Why?

[B]

Why would you do this to me?

[A]

Commenter comes or original poster comes back and is like, yeah, it's weird. Mark actually carries around his own Apple box to stand on for fan pictures. He's not as tall as he appears in this photograph. Gotta make sure you explain it accurately.

[C]

It's happened more than once. And I. You guys know I'm not a tall guy. I don't. I never claim to be a tall guy, but I am comfortably average in height. And it's just because you freaks make me look tiny. And no one understands how gigantic you both are. You both are like in the 99th percentile of height. And it was like, there's no way both of them can be that tall.

[B]

He's.

[C]

He's got a bitty microscopic. And I'm like, yo.

[A]

I mean, it's pretty unlikely that you'd have two such a freakishly tall friends.

[C]

Isn't that weird?

[A]

Almost like. It couldn't be so almost like.

[C]

And also like the other people in our friend group that are weirdly tall and above average. You know, I think Jesse is actually the same height as all of you guys. He's also 6 foot 4. For some reason, in Cincinnati, they put something in the chili that I didn't get. I don't know, maybe I was destined to be 5:1, but I ate the chili and I grew 9 inches. It's just like I feel.

[B]

You didn't get the big boy three way. Did you just get the normal one?

[C]

Actually, I didn't start eating sky until later, so maybe that was my problem.

[A]

That's the thing. Yeah, that's the thing. Ignore the fact that I grew up in a different city.

[C]

Nuclear powered dildos. Nuclear powered.

[B]

Side tangent. Mark's fan. So. Okay, whoa, whoa.

[C]

What the fuck?

[B]

Wait, your fan meetup triggered this memory in my head.

[C]

Hold on a second. You can't go from nuclear powered dildos to, oh, this reminds me of you, Mark.

[B]

Well, no, no. Before we get to the dildos. Before the dildos.

[C]

Okay, all right. Okay.

[B]

Nothing to do with dildos. Huh? Wink. Molly and I were flying back and apparently there's no direct flights from Richmond to Cincinnati, so we had to fly to Atlanta. There we had to fly to Detroit on the way back here. While in Detroit, we decided we wanted to get food. And the food place Molly I decided on was, like, we were in B terminal. This was in, like, the very end of a terminal, which I didn't know until I was getting there. It was a long walk, so we walked to our gate. We're drop off our bags. Like, yeah, Molly. Molly said she'd sit with the bags while I go get food. And on the way, we're on one of those, like, little moving escalator, flat platform, sidewalk, Whatever they call moving sidewalk. I don't know what the term is.

[A]

Speed of fires.

[B]

There's a guy on the phone looking out a window, and he is just yelling and he's screaming and he's cursing into his phone. And as we approach, like, people nearby are all watching this guy, and he's getting more and more just, like, animated, more and more angry. And we're like, that's gonna be a problem. They're gonna. Someone's gonna come do something about that because, like, there's kids nearby. This guy's just dropping f. BO he's on this podcast. Get to the gate, set my stuff down, go back. Guy is still cursing more. People are kind of, like, watching, seeing, like, hey, something terrible about to happen.

[A]

Don't want to miss it.

[B]

Something horrible happened in his life. I don't know, but he's very angry at whoever he's on the phone with. I keep going. I get past him. I'm walking what feels like a half an hour excursion to go get food. And Molly texts me updates like, hey, police came and talked to the guy. But now there's a lady who missed her flight, very upset. She's like, I'm supposed to be first class. I blah, blah, blah, blah. And you can't do this to me because they wouldn't let her board after the plane apparently had already left. I guess they were supposed to hold the whole plane up for her and she was late or something.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

That does make it tricky.

[B]

So police calm the guy down. They're keep an eye on him, but they've calmed him down. Now they're back talking to this lady. I get the food. I come all the way back. I get on one of the moving sidewalk things, and actually there's the two police officers with that lady going right by me, like, oh, well, I guess at least they. Whatever's happening, they're handling that. Get back, start eating food. We eat. I put on my headphones. I go back to watching my regularly scheduled Chernobyl on my tablet. And Molly, like, taps me. And I look up and there's the two police officers just standing there, smiling, like, arms crossed, looking at me. And I'm like, hello. Hi. They're like, are you Wade? I was like, who's asking? Yes. Like, dude, we are such big fans. And I was like, oh, thank God. Oh, every. Because everyone in our, like, sitting areas, like, looking at me, they're like, these police officers have had to take care of two problematic people. Here already is this guy ground zero. Who is this mystery bald man? So, like, I get up, I take a picture with them. They're very nice.

[A]

I'm like.

[B]

I was like, oh, thank God. I didn't know what you guys was like, I didn't know. I don't know anything. I didn't see what happened. Take the picture. And, you know, they head off and people are just staring like, don't worry, just YouTube. I'm not actually important. And I put my headphones back on and go back to watching. But, like, I was the center of attention for a moment. That's the first time that's happened. And I see, like, them, like, go down one of the employee only staircases. They get in their car because we're sitting in front of the window, and they drive off. So I think they saw me on a camera and drove back over to come say hi, which is cool, but headphones on after all these events, looking up and just see, like, two cops staring at me. I was like, whatever it was, I. I just got food. I just got food. I'm watching. Watching. Yeah. He's like, chernobyl scared the shit out of me. I was like, I don't. Oh, God, What I do. I didn't do anything wrong, I swear.

[A]

Wade, you get the Segway point for my current story.

[B]

Oh, great.

[A]

I can contribute to this. Fans recognizing us in places where it's a whole situation. This was another one where it's really attention I didn't want, but it was. It's not a huge deal. It's just funny now. We went to Kings island, and anyone who is large in the way that I am large knows the uncertainty that comes with roller coasters. We went to Kings island and we were like, all right, let's go on a coaster. And literally, like, was talking to Mandy and her brother about, like, all right, so which coasters are, like, comfortable would be okay for me as a very.

[B]

Like, even if you're just tall, those roller coasters are tough.

[A]

So we Debated. And it was like, okay, we're going to go on this one. We're going to go on the. What used to be the Italian Job one and is now just called, like, stunt coaster or something. And we wait in line, and we get all the way up there. They don't have, like, a test seat, so I have no idea if I'm going to fit. We get all the way to the front, but they.

[C]

We.

[A]

It's our turn. We're going to get in. And anyone who's a fat guy like me has had this experience where, like, I get in and I pull it, and it goes like, click, click, click, click. And I'm like, okay, it clicked a bunch. And the guy comes over and is like, ah, I can't see. I have to see this line for. And I'm like, okay, click one more. Is that good? And he's like, nah, nah, it needs, like, a few more still. It's like, step on it. I'll suck in my gun.

[B]

You step on.

[A]

And literally, this guy's like, all right, man. And just like. And I'm like, do it, do it. This is going to be great. I'll survive. And they do it, and it clicks a couple more times, and finally he calls his buddy over, and they look and they're like, no, we have to see the line clearly past this. It's. That's not enough. And I'm like, all right, I'm too fat. And the way they build roller coasters, of course, they can't just unbuckle me and be like, all right, you off. They're like, all right, everybody, we're going to have to unbuckle your seatbelts or just stay in your seats. There's just a really big fat guy up at the front of the roller coaster is not gonna fit. So just pull it right back down, and we'll just make him leave while you do that. And so it was like, everything opens, and everyone's kind of like, oh, what? I climb out. And as I'm, like, trying to climb out, really awkward and feeling bad about myself. The guy who was stepping on my lap bar to try and make me fit was like, wait a minute. Are you Bob? Like, literally, we were at the. The front of the train in front of everyone else, and he's like, are you Bob from Distractible Guys? This is Bob. Cool.

[B]

Yeah, cool.

[C]

Hey, do you want to pick?

[A]

Do you want to make these people wait while we take a picture?

[C]

Really quickly, you go to everybody, you're like, all right, everybody, bust out your coins. Time to start flipping.

[A]

Suffice to say he didn't ask for a picture, but we didn't take one. I just like, ran away. Like, I'm not him. Ran and hid somewhere in my shame. But what a moment for someone to just be like, wait, I know you. Look, everybody.

[B]

Another annoying ass thing about those roller coasters, they do put them like super tight on you when, when you're big, like it goes all like, it's in your gut. But a lot of the way that they release is they don't just pop up. You just have to push down more for it to release.

[C]

Oh, God. Oh God.

[B]

I've seen like, people have to have like the things fucking removed because they put it so tight on you and when they come around, they push down. They're like, like, don't give a if it's already tight on you. And it's like. And then you go to get off the thing, it's like, guys, help. They're like, oh, don't worry. But sometimes they can't get it in far enough so they have to come and like disassemble the goddamn thing to get you out.

[A]

It's the best. It's the best.

[B]

Yeah, because those things are built for like, you know, I guess, kids. And if you have to be able to fit kids and people, I don't know, up to really tall.

[A]

But they're built for mark sized humans.

[C]

Hey, I was about to say. Yeah, I never have these problem guys.

[A]

I, I hate to say it, but Im being average.

[B]

I don't remember what the rule is for insulting Mark, but Bob, you've got two points for mark insults already.

[A]

That wasn't an insult. He's average. I didn't call him short at all. I said he's average. That's not a short joke.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You freaks. You freaks.

[B]

Fuck. Does that mean I insulted him by thinking it was an insult?

[C]

I think. Yeah, you did. Wait a minute.

[B]

Yeah, what the hell, man?

[C]

All right.

[B]

I mean, because you got one insult mark point then for the pillow rumor thing, because that was definitely.

[A]

Was that targeted? No, that was. I was specifically targeting my high school friend Peter. I don't know if you listen to this show, Peter, but yes, I remember that. You say pillow wrong. Peter.

[C]

Peter, if you're listening to this, you need to run. Peter, this is. You're in a coma. You need to wake up. This is your sign.

[B]

Hey, Peter, run. Hey, Peter. All right, well, I gave myself one Mark insult point. Those two combined have to be at least one Mark Insult. Right, right.

[A]

I wasn't targeting Mark at all. The word that Mark says funny was not in part of my examples.

[C]

I mean, I say room kind of funny. Apparently room.

[B]

It kind of is. It's still.

[C]

It's not room. It's room.

[A]

It's room.

[C]

The bed room.

[A]

What are we talking about? Nuclear bombs? Nuclear ICBMs?

[C]

Nuclear underpants? Radioactive. You know they used to have radium things to make your water radioactive.

[A]

I just saw there used to just straight up be tinctures. The only thing about with is this has a shitload of radium in it. Drink this and you'll get your daily dose of radium. Which you want. Yep, that's it.

[B]

Between that and like lead products, like, we were seeing a thing about the Dyatlov Pass. I don't know if you guys are familiar with that one where people went like hiking and ended up all being dead or whatever. And then there was.

[C]

Did they solve the Dyatlov Pass mystery?

[B]

Ultimately, they concluded like five or six years ago, there was like a guy that went out and said yes. They think what ended up happening was there was an avalanche, like a minor. A minor avalanche that came down and hit the tent, which is like usually the precursor to a bigger avalanche. They think that the people burst out of the tent to run away thinking there was another avalanche, but since there wasn't a bigger one, they were just out there freezing to death because they didn't get all of their stuff in time because they were running, thinking there's gonna be an avalanche. They tried building like a little campfire or hiding under like some. Some rock structure, end up collapsing, ultimately hypothermia. And they for all froze to death or got crushed by to death death, thinking they were escaping an avalanche that never came.

[C]

Couldn't be me. I have this regular thought experiment. I'm like, okay, what if I was transported into the Siberian wilderness? Like, boom. I'm naked in the middle of the frozen tundra. What do I do? And the answer, shockingly, isn't die immediately. I figure a way.

[A]

You figure a way? Non specifically, I figure it out.

[C]

Once I watch Enough outdoor boys YouTube channel videos, I'll know exactly what to do. Nothing makes your brain move faster than the cold, right? Is.

[A]

Yeah, I absolutely have that same confidence. I've never once started a fire without the aid of like a lighter and flammable shit. I would definitely figure it out. I would. Within the first few hours, I would have camp set up. I would have enough shelter with some kind of fire that I would survive. Then I'd have to work out food because you have to figure out the food situation. But that's not as immediately pressing as dying of exposure. So. Yeah, yeah, I figured. No, I see what you're saying. Plan I figure it out.

[B]

I was thinking of the Franklin expedition, which was like 160 odd years ago. So 10 cans used to not be tin cans. They were lead cans and a lot of food. So they had this long expedition where they were trying to find a trade route through like the Arctic. All of their meals they were like eating out of lead cans, which you know how good lead is for you. And then they got stuck in the ice and a bunch of went wrong and they all died, whatever have you. But like, yeah, lead. We used to eat lead. We're just like, oh, lead paint, lead cans.

[C]

I know about this because I went to Nor. And so you get it from the Norwegian perspective of the people they were racing to find like an Arctic path. And then the first to the South Pole is also another part of that. And every time from the Norwegian's perspective was just like, yeah. And then the British really up there, they did not know what they were doing at all. And it's like, especially to the South Pole, one where it's like the Norwegian expedition is like, oh, it's such a race. It's very arduous. You know, they have to send people back all the time and they get there and they're the first, they plant their flag. From the British perspective it's like. And then 13 people died on first leg and then they shot all their horses on the second leg and then they lost another person. And there were four people left to climb the last ridge and one person went there and, or maybe a few. And then they get there and there's already a Norwegian flag after all of their people died and their horses are dead. They did not make it back. They all died. So yeah, from the Norwegian perspective, these, these Franklin's lost expedition does not surprise me.

[B]

I'm curious what we're going to find. I'm sure something with fast food will come out and like, like 200 years where they're like these fuckers voluntarily went and spent their money eating this poison plastics.

[A]

It's definitely microplastics. Yeah.

[B]

At least we're aware, you know, but there's probably something we're not aware of, right?

[A]

I'm already like 18% microplastic.

[B]

When I die, I'm either going to be buried or recycled. I'm too much plastic to be cremated. I'M back to the environment.

[C]

That's true. Sadly, you can't recycle plastic.

[A]

Can't you?

[C]

Well, you can, but they don't. I've been so disheartened because when I get my trash collected, I see them pick up the garbage can, throw it in the back, and then I see them pick up the recycling can, throw it in the same spot, and I go, oh man.

[A]

Maybe there's a. There's like a divider system.

[B]

It's just like shunts it.

[C]

And I still, I still separate my recycle, but I still do it. Even though I know what's happening to it there, I'm still like, I, I'm doing my part.

[A]

I, I can't imagine not. I know that it's not. This is just like a privileged thing because I grew up, up in a better off neighborhood and whatever. I grew up. Where I grew up, I grew up. We had recycling my whole childhood as far as I remember. So literally the way you take the trash out is you separate out the recycling and take it out and you have two bins. It's always been like that. And I can't even imagine because like you, I'm sort of disillusioned about the state of industrial recycling and what they actually do with any of this stuff. And that I pay for the extra recycling service seems really stupid, but like, it's a compulsion. How do you put out your trash if you're not separating the recycling and like making sure like, oh, this is a number one that can go in the recycling. That's good. Okay. I have neighbors in the neighborhood I live in now who just have just a trash can. And my brain is like, what do you just keep your recycling? What do you recycle it yourself?

[B]

My grandparents did that. They would keep the recycling and take it in themselves. They got one of those like can crushers where they just put the cans.

[C]

And I love that. I feel like I would be better off just trying getting a schmelter and melting all my aluminum cans down and schmelting it. Schmelting. And I could smelt it into things.

[A]

Dude, you could, you could make your own custom heatsinks, get some kind of mold. Well, you have 3D printers, right? So you could 3D print and then make a sand cast of your 3D print and then use the sand sand molding to make like perfect little shelves. You can make them with Capri sun, insert slots for cooling.

[C]

I just melt down the Capri Suns. Do you ever watch Nighthawk in Lights videos. They're the person that got me into Glauber's Salt.

[A]

I do not.

[C]

They made a video about two weeks ago that had a, like, it's to make flow batteries. And it's not about flow batteries. It kind of tangentially nuclear. So I'll take some points for this. But it's like he's making,

[A]

I don't know. That's how this one worked.

[C]

He's making it flow battery. And he needs, like, this sort of graphite material to have, like, a lot of surface area for the anode and cathode. Right. Of a battery. And it's like there's this extremely expensive material that you can buy in bulk, but it's expensive. But you can make your own using this carbon insulation material that then you strip with some fluid and then put in your microwave kiln and microwave till it's 2000 degrees or something like that. And I'm like, holy. This is why I think microwaves don't work the way people say they do. Because it's just like, he had it

[B]

in the, Is that safe to go that high?

[C]

He had it outside. So it's perfectly fine. But it's just like, I, I know they say, like, oh, it heats up by water molecules vibrating, and that's what heats your food. And I go like, well, then why, when you put aluminum foil into it,

[A]

it turns into plasma.

[C]

What water molecules are vibrating to do that? And I'm like, there's a. I, I, I want to make a microwave smelter.

[A]

Well, I don't know why that wouldn't work.

[C]

Work.

[A]

I couldn't tell you why it would work either, but I definitely don't know why it wouldn't work in Los Angeles.

[C]

This is probably the best thing I could do.

[A]

Does not sound like the headline of the next fire that destroys a major residential area at all.

[B]

What would you be smelting? Metal.

[C]

Aluminum can cycling.

[B]

I'm helping the environment.

[A]

There's only so many things you could smelt at home. You don't want to be, you can't be doing high temperature, like, high temperature complicated.

[B]

Call me crazy here, but isn't, isn't that the one thing you're not supposed to put in a microwave is metal?

[C]

No, no. They just say that so you don't discover it'.

[A]

Yeah, it's dangerous if you don't, if you're not doing it on purpose, it's dangerous because you might do something you're not expecting.

[B]

But isn't it dangerous if you do it on purpose?

[A]

It just becomes a plasma.

[C]

What about that one YouTuber who created like a 20,000 watt microwave and it's.

[A]

How about William? William Osmond?

[C]

No. Styro Pyro. Have you seen his 40 like 400 car battery experiment?

[A]

Yes.

[C]

That just literally melts and causes the magnetic field so strong all the wires to the thing. He made a microwave that was unbelievable. He called it a macrowave.

[B]

Dude, I get nervous just plugging things into the wall. I wouldn't fuck with that.

[C]

Yeah, well, he seems to not care about that, so maybe you should reevaluate your priorities.

[B]

I'm a coward.

[A]

You are a coward. I'll take some points for that. Can I just say as a. I

[B]

would never insult Mark. First opportunity. Wade, you fucking bitch.

[A]

There is an hour into recording. That was not the first opportunity.

[B]

Now

[A]

I know, as completely, completely ignorant non scientist myself, how the fuck do we have things that are so ubiquitous that we don't understand the technology? Do we sincerely not really understand how microwaves work? Because every house in America definitely has at least one of those bad boys sitting somewhere inside that makes popcorn once every two months at minimum.

[C]

It's no there. It's understood how like the microwaves are generated. The waveguide, putting them in there, the, the kind of.

[A]

But like it's not clear how it heats up or why aluminum becomes plasma. Like I know that you said that, but like that's a thing, right? People are like, oh, we don't even know how it works completely, I think.

[C]

I don't know how it works completely. I'm sure there's plenty of scientists that could explain it better than I could. It probably does make water molecules vibrate in food. And then it also does other things depending on the material. Like it might.

[A]

Scientists explain it to me like I'm a host on distractible, whatever intelligence level you think that represents. But that's a. That's maybe it's just complicated or hard for normies to understand. You're not the first and or only person I've heard say that. Right. There's a common. Like, it's one of those things people just throw out.

[C]

We're like, ah, we don't even really

[A]

know how microwaves work. There has to be some amount of truth to that. Or like maybe we didn't for a long time or something. Obviously not that because they make them so they know how to make the thing that emits the microwaves to begin with and they contain the them theoretically so that it's safe to be in your house, but there's some mystery in it.

[C]

What's the mystery?

[B]

You got me.

[C]

But it makes things hot.

[B]

Makes a hell of a good pizza roll if you do it right.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you, are you telling me you microwave pizza rolls? Telling me you do this to yourself on purpose?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's wrong with that?

[B]

I find a way to make them better there than. I feel like they come out in the oven. Yeah.

[A]

Whoa. Wrong.

[B]

It's a hell of. I know it's a hell of an

[A]

accusation, but like, there's one thing that microwaves don't do. It' make anything in the known universe crispy. And that's the only thing I want with my pizza rolls is a little bit of crispiness.

[B]

If you overcook them in the microwave, they do come out crispy and I feel like they're better than when they're in the oven.

[C]

I haven't had pizza rolls since I've gotten an air fryer, but I bet an air fryer would do it really well.

[A]

Dude, air fryer is the way. Air fryer is the truth when it comes to pizza rolls.

[C]

It air fryer is basically just an oven with a fan. It's a convection oven. Yeah.

[A]

But it's smooth. So you could put only the amount of food you actually want to eat

[B]

inside of it, which is problematic if what you want to eat is 20 chicken wings.

[A]

20 chicken wings would fit in my air fryer. You just have to have the right air fryer.

[B]

I'm hungry, so I still haven't eaten lunch. Nuclear, We've really gone nuclear. We've gone microwave, we've gone Kings island, we've gone plastics. I will say I think that modern nuclear technology probably is pretty safe. And if it's made not cheaply and correctly, it probably is.

[C]

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

[B]

But like, I guess long term ramifications are like, is it safe 500 years from now? Like, does the. How. How do they replace all the infrastructure? I'm sure there's probably a plan hopefully in place. Also there is nuclear waste. And the way that the half life of nuclear material works is it radiation and shit like that sticks around a while. So eventually you're going to have a lot of waste.

[A]

That's what I was going to say is I'm not an expert, but my understanding is that nuclear power is actually the just as safe as current standards and also like the most environmentally effective version of generating electricity. Except it does generate nuclear waste. And our current solution for that is put in that big fucking mountain and nobody go over there and we'll just hope that never fills all the way up so we can keep putting it in that big mountain that we made. But like, yeah, assume that at some point in the future someone will invent the whatever device and it will remanufacture nuclear waste into probably puppy food or diapers for babies. Who knows?

[B]

My baby's ass is glowing. Is that normal, doctor?

[A]

Oh, so you can change it in the dark without having to turn on the lights and wake your poor baby.

[C]

Well, I mean, okay, the thing about nuclear waste is it really doesn't generate that much compared to other energy mediums because nuclear power is so dense compared to other. Any other form of. Of it. So either we put it in one spot in the ground and don't touch it, which, you know, someone could, I guess, sabotage it, or we do what we currently do, which is shoot it all in the air, like all the byproducts just up.

[B]

Why can't we just launch our nuclear waste to the moon?

[C]

Oh, I thought you said sun. You almost had a smart idea. Yeah, see, I guess it would be

[B]

expensive to put it in a thing that's safe to get through the atmosphere, and then also its job is to go explode on the sun.

[A]

It's like restaurants in the 90s. We just need to make sure that we're in the non smoking section of the earth and everyone else can have the nuclear fallout when that happens, Right?

[C]

Maybe, yeah.

[A]

Actually, we'll just put a big non nuclear sign over America and that'll keep all the nuclear dust out of our atmosphere.

[C]

We just designate some parts of the world as being the EW zone and we'll put all of our EW there.

[A]

No, we already have that. Isn't it called the ew?

[C]

We could. I had an idea.

[B]

You can say it.

[C]

I'll look, I'll just take my points. I don't. I forgot what it was.

[B]

Is that how this episode works? You just asked for points?

[A]

He didn't ask, he told.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I'll just take him.

[B]

True. All right, well, that's nuclear power, everyone. We've done it. We've gone nuclear. The waste. We're just gonna launch it into a mountain. And if you guys finally want housing to be affordable, just buy it near the nuclear waste site.

[A]

I remember.

[C]

Why can't we throw it in a volcano?

[A]

That thing you said about it going in the atmosphere. I think a volcano would just be a much cooler version of that, wouldn't it?

[C]

No, you throw it in there, it'll melt down. You see, we're putting all of our

[A]

waste up and then you take a big cork and you go. And that way it stays in there until it's all gone.

[C]

See, this is why science works in teams. You got the ideas all build and

[B]

then you're pressure cooking it so you can use it again.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. What if I put it in a can crusher and I put that in my microwave and I turn it into something else?

[A]

It will become a plasma, which I've heard is a good thing to donate to blood banks, so I assume is a good thing.

[B]

I got nuclear powered plasma running through my veins. I have at least three days to live.

[A]

That'd be a long time.

[C]

You kind of don't want that at that point if you get nuclear plasma in your blood.

[A]

No.

[B]

One thing I learned is how awful radiation sickness and death is from when

[A]

you were a problem in the airport and the police interrupted your Chernobyl watching.

[B]

Yeah, I was talking, I was like, guys, listen. What if we all just go to Chernobyl as one? We could all be a cult. And the police came up, they're like, hey, we want your photograph. Like, sure, that seems normal.

[C]

This reminds me of a story that I don't think I did. I told when I went from Poland to back to America and we were in line for the security and then someone walked through these, these two little pylons and one of them started beeping, right? And it was one of those beeps where it was like, that's a new one. Haven't heard that one before. And everyone goes quiet. And it's quiet for like a minute before this guy security guard comes out and he's got a hand detector for something and he's waving it like this and it's not like clicking like a Geiger counter. It's beeping. And he's just sweeping around looking around. Everyone's dead silent looking at this guy and he's just. And he goes up to someone. There's a woman who I thought was like holding a baby. And he's holding the thing right up to what I think is a baby.

[A]

And it's going.

[C]

And he just was like, just gestures with his finger. I'm not hearing any words exchange. And it's like they're slowly meandering. And what'll happen is this guy keeps waving it as he's going, but he's like, follow me. They go through the pylons, it goes beep again. And every once in a while he'll stop, turn around, go to the people that are following him and it's like taking a couple steps at a time. He sweep around, come with me. And then they left. No announcement, nothing was said. Everyone just resumed back into security.

[B]

No clue what it was?

[C]

I have no idea. It was at the Poland airport. Anybody know what that was?

[A]

It's actually just a system they used to keep order. He gets all those people back to the back and they're all terrified. And he's like, it's okay. We're just going to look at your passports, then you could go. We just use that to keep the crowds chilled out. Now everyone out there is going to be freaked out for the whole rest of the time they're here. It's great.

[B]

It's actually a detector for full arts. Really valuable Pokemon cards. And whenever that went off, the guy knew that she had one. He's like, I got to confiscate this.

[C]

Kept it in a baby papoose. Just like.

[B]

It's just cards all the way down. I had to buy a little like carry on bag to bring the cards back because our suitcase was already so full going there.

[C]

I was like, you stuffed a carry on full of Pokemon? You have a problem.

[A]

Sounds like a federal crime or something. Cross state lines. Did you pay taxes on that?

[B]

It went through their scanner. They let me through. I guess I could have driven it across state lines and it would have been fine too. That's weird. I hope someone tells us what that meant because now I'm curious. I want to know what that was.

[A]

I'll take some points for Mark's story. Thanks.

[C]

Can I get the same?

[B]

You guys are certainly getting something.

[A]

Well, it's points, I assume.

[B]

Any final thoughts on nuclear? I'm going to wrap this one up.

[A]

I don't know if I had any original thoughts on nuclear, but you're welcome.

[B]

Great. That's how this show works. I bring up a topic and you just don't give a fuck.

[A]

Yeah, pretty much.

[C]

Bounty.

[B]

Bounty. Bounty.

[A]

Oh, what is that?

[C]

It's a picture of my dog in a distractible merch.

[B]

Oh, how do we confirm this? Is there or was it? We have to look at the bounty.

[A]

What do you mean, how do we confirm this?

[B]

I'm showing you.

[A]

Oh, you mean how. How do we confirm it's a bounty?

[C]

Yeah, it's on the list that.

[A]

That is on the official list on the subreddit. That is a bounty.

[C]

I had a picture of the moon and I for some reason couldn't find it. I was like, I had a picture that I managed to take with my GoPro of like it through a telephoto lens. And I got a good picture of it, and I can't find it. So I ran out and I put

[B]

the shirt on chica.

[A]

I put it on number four on the May list of Bounty editions. Recent Persimmon 4148. Get a picture of their dog. Indistractable merch shirt. Specifically shirt. Which he did do.

[B]

All right. Bounty confirmed. Well redeemed. That's our first bounty.

[C]

That's what I'm talking about. I forgot to get the coin flip. Right after I walked away from those fans, I was like, fuck.

[B]

Ah, shit.

[C]

I completely forgot.

[A]

Yeah. Now that you say it, I had a hell of a way to bookend that story of me holding up the entire roller coaster ride. If I had just done the coin flip thing then and there, but it didn't fucking occur to me.

[B]

I wish I'd pull out a coin, turn to the cops, have been like, I want to play a game.

[C]

Well, that's why. That's why when we have this thing and people will. Sam, don't put this in. When we have this, you know, when it's ready, we'll have this always on us.

[A]

I think you should leave that. But just Sam, blur to death so they have no idea what's happening. You'll. You'll love that when you get to know what it is. I guarantee it. I'm like the men's warehouse guy.

[B]

Let me go through the points, Bob. You got points for like a dog biting a mailman. Nucular pillow room. Peter, Not Mark. Jab Mark Sized human.

[A]

Not an insult.

[B]

Called me a coward.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Insult fan in the worst way at Kings Island. And you got some points for wanting points, Mark. You got points for a thick cedar picture thorium salt reactor. If people are saying nuclear, society's in a good place if we're fighting over the way to say words. Learning about the Franklin expedition in Norway, I asked what would be the thing in 200 years, we look back on our era and be like, bad idea. You said plastic. Very quickly. You met some very tall fans. You had a tangential nuclear story. You brought up the macro microwave stuff. You asked for points a couple times. You had a couple points for asking for them. And then you got the. I gave you three points for the bounty because it's the first bounty we've ever done. We said two to three points. It's our first ever bounty. So I gave out the three. Our totals. It was 11 to 7, Mark. And then Mark got three for the bounty. So you didn't really need to use that bounty here. So he's 14 to 7.

[A]

Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[C]

Three?

[A]

I thought regular bounties were one.

[B]

I thought we said two to three. Judges. I only gave three.

[A]

I would say something that's as low effort as getting your dog picture in a shirt is. Doesn't rise to the level of like, oh, that's an extraordinary bounty.

[C]

Bounty.

[A]

That's not a super hard one.

[B]

I. I would agree that it's a two pointer, but I gave a point for it being the first ever bounty. Redeem.

[A]

Oh, Jesus. Wow. All right, well, so.

[B]

And I figured if he was gonna use it on an episode he was already dominating, might as well give him the point now for it, right?

[A]

Come on, Golf rules. Let's do this.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Oh, and I have four points, one of which is a Mark insult because I thought Bob insulted Mark, but it was really just me insulting him on the inside or something. Something.

[A]

Is your own prejudice shining through, you jerk. Oh, great wheel. We ask you, how many spins will we do today? Two it is. Thank you.

[B]

We need a pick me up. You know, sometimes people just have a bad time or a bad week. So I'm gonna add, had the worst time since we last spoke. Because you know what? A point for that at least means you're getting something out of it.

[C]

That's good. That's good. I hope I get that one. I had a great week, but, you

[A]

know, got 113 options. Like, one of them will save me in this situation. I got two spins to find it.

[C]

What are the odds?

[A]

Let's go, baby.

[B]

It's only between you two, right? So since I'm on the board with four, it wouldn't go to me, right?

[C]

I don't know. I don't think we've ever had that

[A]

precedence most interruptions of the other guy.

[C]

Which other guy?

[A]

I don't remember what that means.

[B]

I think whenever, like, one of the competitors is talking, the other person interrupts a bunch. That's kind of what I do.

[C]

Yeah, but we have a separate rule where if none of us can remember what the rule is, we delete it. But I think we know what that one is.

[A]

Is that a respin, or do you want to call that Wade? Because we probably interrupted each other, but it wasn't aggressive this episode or anything.

[B]

It doesn't stand out.

[A]

I would say respin spin number one, part two. Mention their significant other the most.

[C]

I said, Amy, I.

[A]

Both of you mentioned your significant others, and I did not mention Mandy. A single time. I don't think. Think I would have if I had done small talk. I will be. I will. Honest, my small talk included. Mandy. I had it prepared.

[B]

We'll never know.

[A]

I'll probably forget it by the time we record the next one anyway. Come on. Golf rules. Come on. Okay, it's minus minus one to current loser.

[B]

So is that me or you? Because I'm on the board.

[A]

If you can't win, it's me. Because you're not the winner or the loser. You're the host. So that means I'm the current loser.

[C]

That's okay. Hilarious. You get a bad day, you just need to make it worse, you know?

[A]

Back to my old ways with the random chance games. I love this for me. Let's flip some coins. I'm feeling it, guys.

[B]

Final score is me with five.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

With six.

[A]

Okay. I beat Wade. Thank God.

[B]

Mark with 15.

[C]

Holy.

[A]

That might be one of the biggest point differentials we've had at least in recent memory.

[B]

Mark really went off at the end there. And then he had the bounty on top of it. So. Yeah, Bob, loser speech.

[A]

Sometimes the universe speaks to you. And who am I to question the wisdom of the universe? I suck and I deserve to lose. So says the wheel. So says the universe. So it must be true. Today, it's just the truth of everything. I suck. I should not have won, and I did not win. And the one who should have won clearly did. So thank you, universe, for your infinite wisdom. Thank you, Wade, for not giving me any points for most of what I said. And congratulations to Mark, clearly the better competitor and person on today's episode.

[B]

Mark, our liege, our king, our leader, our most dominant winner. Would you like to give a winner's speech?

[C]

My goodness. I can barely be humble with all these accolades being heaped upon me, but I will humbly accept them all. I did it. Whatever I did. Whenever I was saying the random stuff, and we were both saying pretty random things the entire time, I said it better somehow, which just shows that fate aligned with me on this day. What Bob said was right. It was purely the gods above smiling down upon us. And I think that that is something you can just. What happens, you don't need to mention a lot. You don't need to look it in the eye. It's just happening. I'm not gonna say I did anything about it, because that will keep it going as long as I don't acknowledge it ever happened. My winning streak will continue, and the good luck will shower upon me for the moment that I look it in the eye, it will turn on me and it will rip me from Twain to Twain. Both Twain's, Twain's are gonna be ripped

[B]

straight out from Mark all the way to Shania. Yeah, your host speech. Both of them don't like the way I did points, even though Mark won with them. So I won't be winning again anytime soon soon. So enjoy this while it lasts. I'll see you all next season whenever I host again. Congratulations. If you already go follow Bob at my skirt Mark at Markiplier, don't follow me. Stay tuned for the next one where Mark will host and we'll probably definitely not do the perfect describe unless podcast

[C]

out.