How Do You Pan?

Summary

Distractible Podcast – Episode: "How Do You Pan?" (February 6, 2026)

Overview

In this playful and nostalgia-infused episode, Mark Fischbach, Wade Barnes, and Bob Muyskens dive into the theme of "How Do You Pan?"—a riff on staying young at heart, inspired by the eternally youthful Peter Pan. The trio explores the childhood joys and habits they've carried into adulthood, meandering through topics like favorite comfort foods, ongoing childish behaviors, book recommendations, hobbies, and personal quirks. Packed with their signature banter, storytelling, and self-deprecating humor, this episode blends earnest reflection with irrepressible goofiness.

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Table of Contents

• Childlike Habits and Peter Pan Traditions
• Book Club: Dungeon Crawler Carl (and More)
• Movies, Iron Lung, and Mark's Big Weekend
• Food Nostalgia and Comfort Classics
• Childhood Play, Pretend, and Hobbies
• Tech Tinkering and Computer Talk
• Playground Rides, Puzzles, and Physical Regrets
• Dental Habits and Childhood Carryovers
• Competitive Points and Wrap-Up
• Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

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Childlike Habits and Peter Pan Traditions

[20:34–24:01]

• Bob's prompt: "Some things in life are too good to let go. So I titled this segment, 'How Do You Pan?'" [20:36]
• The group shares the childish habits and pleasures they’ll never give up, invoking Peter Pan as the symbol of eternal youth.
  • Bob still loves Lunchables, Kraft Mac & Cheese, and making "baskets" with trash into cans.
  • The childhood fear of dangling limbs off the bed persists (“so sleep demons can't get me”).
  • Remote control toys at the mall still attract Bob’s adult attention.
  • Mark and Wade jump in with their lingering "kid" habits.

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Book Club: Dungeon Crawler Carl (and More)

[07:26–19:29]

• Mark and Bob rave over the Dungeon Crawler Carl book series by Matt Dinniman.
  • Bob’s already nearing the end of the seventh book; Mark has just finished the first and is hooked.
  • Wade owns the first but hasn’t started, leading to jokes about their budding book club.
  • Bob underscores the joy of reading for fun after law school, while Wade reminisces about his recent reading spree (Animorphs, Grisham, etc.).
  • Discussion of audiobooks and the impressive performance in Dungeon Crawler Carl's narration.
  • Side notes about possible Dungeon Crawler Carl TV adaptations and their skepticism about Hollywood doing it justice ([13:01]).
  • Diversions into Andy Weir books (The Martian, Artemis, Project Hail Mary)—more sci-fi recommendations.
  • The group reflects on how reading, once considered nerdy, is now accepted as a passion: “I feel like book reading was like the D&D of the last 20 years where it's like, ‘You read books, you nerd.’ And now it's like, I love books!” (Wade, [18:51])

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Movies, Iron Lung, and Mark's Big Weekend

[01:57–07:26], [13:55]

• Bob and Mark riff on Hollywood “negotiations” in a mock phone call bit about Spielberg and Nolan.
• Mark discusses finally wrapping up work on his movie Iron Lung and celebrating its temporary reign as box office #1—later overtaken by a bigger-budget film.
  • "Iron Lung is out...It was number one for...99% of the weekend." (Mark, [06:06])
  • The thrill and stress of Indie creation vs. Hollywood marketing machine.
  • Family review ("I just wish Mark was happier" – [08:12]) brings laughs.
• Joke about Mark potentially adapting Dungeon Crawler Carl as his next 7-year project ([13:55]).

---

Food Nostalgia and Comfort Classics

[20:57], [31:19–33:25]

• Bob, Wade, and Mark all admit to an enduring love for childhood foods despite growing palates:
  • Lunchables, Kraft Mac, SpaghettiOs, PB&J, pizza rolls, Gushers, Velveeta shells, and even grocery store chicken tenders.
  • "There's times where I'm like, man, I really want some, like, curry and chicken or whatever... But there are definitely days where it's like, I want chicken tendies and Mac and cheese." (Wade, [32:54])
  • Mark shares his personal dietary quirks; discovers dextrose in candy caused his childhood hypoglycemia.
  • The universal “fridge stare” persists into adulthood—open fridge, close, check pantry, repeat ([34:08]).

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Childhood Play, Pretend, and Hobbies

[22:21–24:01]

• Wade confesses his lifelong love of "playing pretend”—now channeled into D&D, voices, and goofy character bits.
  • "I still talk to myself and try to do different voices… I'll be sitting on the toilet just like, toilet paper, toilet paper." ([22:45])
• Bob notes that “everyone still wants to play pretend”—we just call it movies or acting as adults.

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Tech Tinkering and Computer Talk

[24:48–30:32]

• Mark’s childhood obsession with computers and “tinkering” persists; now applied to building “render farms.”
  • Reminisces about drooling over computer magazines, now channels those desires into actual hardware upgrades and home lab projects.
  • Brief discussion of the “Home Lab” subreddit; Mark’s render farm gets roasted for being janky ([26:12]).
  • The crew discusses the wild price increases in RAM, storage, and GPUs.
    • "Now that 8 terabyte was up to $3200. The same one that I bought went from 800 to 3200." (Mark, [29:30])
• Bob describes his phone-induced panic attack as a kid upon receiving the first Android device, illustrating technology-induced awe ([31:19]).

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Playground Rides, Puzzles, and Physical Regrets

[37:50–40:38]

• Bob admits continuing love for playground swings and merry-go-rounds, despite being “way too big” for them.
  • “When you find a swing that can accommodate an adult-sized person, God, is that so good, man?” (Bob, [38:08])
• Wade laments newfound motion sickness ruining swings and spinning rides (a sign of aging).
• The joy of jigsaw puzzles as a kid—and their continuation into adulthood, through Lego and puzzle games.
  • “Puzzles, man. I loved putting together jigsaw puzzles as a kid. ... That aspect of things, I don't know what it was, but there's a part of my brain that still has always enjoyed that.” (Wade, [39:13])

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Dental Habits and Childhood Carryovers

[41:01–43:55]

• Mark admits to still biting his nails—childhood habits die hard. Wade and Bob agree, as many adults do.
• Brushing teeth is a key holdover; Mark confesses, “if I don’t brush my teeth [at night], it hasn’t happened.” ([41:51])
• Bob and Wade joke about children’s reluctance and temptation to cut corners with brushing.
• Wade expresses dislike for minty toothpaste, Bob suggests there are more “ass-flavored” options on the market ([42:54]).
• The trio’s final advice: take care of your teeth, even if flossing seems dubious.

---

Competitive Points and Wrap-Up

[44:47–49:23]

• As always, the group tallies “points” for jokes, stories, and bits throughout the episode.
  • Wade: 9 points (2 are "lie points")
  • Mark: 9 points (including a bonus for “finishing the movie”)
  • Bob: 1 “callback” point (for a running in-joke)
• They spin the “wheel of bullshittery and nonsense” for additional point shenanigans, awarding bonus points for “most childish” or “scariest contribution.”
  • Final tally: Mark wins the episode.
• Mark’s victory speech is both tongue-in-cheek and a little existential:

  “I have freedom, which means I will eventually go insane...but at the beginning of the end, it's still pretty good.” ([48:50])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On childish habits & food:

  • "Lunchables, Kraft Mac, SpaghettiOs—forever delicious...I will never not try and make a basket into a trash can, no matter how inappropriate the scenario." (Bob, [21:20])

• On childhood imagination:

  • "I really enjoy going around doing voices. I still talk to myself and try to do different voices...I'll be sitting on the toilet..." (Wade, [22:45])

• On reading & book clubs:

  • “Is it weird that I feel like at this stage of our lives, we're talking about books and stuff now, but I feel like book reading was like the DnD of the last 20 years...” (Wade, [18:51])

• On technology nostalgia:

  • “It’s just tinkering with Legos but with expensive computer equipment.” (Mark, [25:41])

• On aging & amusement park rides:

  • “Sometimes you get older, you lose the ability to do stuff. But man, swings and merry-go-rounds go hard.” (Bob, [38:12])

• On childhood rituals and dental hygiene:

  • “Dental problems are always terrible, even if it's only something that's minor. Sucks. Turns out you need your mouth to eat and drink things, and that's pretty crucial.” (Bob, [42:04])

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Important Timestamps

| Segment | Start Time | |---------------------------------------|------------| | Banter & Hollywood Phone Call Bit | 01:57 | | Iron Lung Box Office Stories | 06:00 | | Dungeon Crawler Carl Book Club | 07:26 | | Peter Pan & “How Do You Pan?” Intro | 20:34 | | Childhood Food Loves | 31:19 | | Playground/Puzzle nostalgia | 37:50 | | Dental Hygiene Habits | 41:05 | | Points Tally Segment | 44:47 | | Mark’s Existential Victory Speech | 48:50 |

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Tone & Language

The tone is casual, humorous, and self-deprecating throughout. The group mixes earnestness with parody and a playful attitude toward their own quirks and “immature” tendencies. Their friendship and comfort with each other is as much a part of the entertainment as the episode’s overt theme.

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Summary by: Distractible Podcast Summarizer
For anyone who missed it, this episode is a warm, hilarious, and unexpectedly touching ode to remaining a little childish, no matter how grown-up you are.

Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Shopify. It happens. Set out in the new year, ready to change your world, and by February, you're back into your old routine, doing all the same stuff. It happens. We've all been there. It happens. This year I'm going to try. I actually do have a plan. I wouldn't say it's fully in place, but I'm going to put in the effort so it'd be healthier, you know. The key to accomplishing a New Year's resolution is to keep it simple. Like using Shopify for your business. It has everything you need. Templates to help design what you want, tools to run things, and a way to sell anywhere, including across social media. Shopify makes you look like you have it all figured out, even when you don't.

[B]

Did you know that we run our merch store for this show through Shopify? And I think there's a merch store for some sports podcast or something. Follow through on your goals with Shopify. Go to shopify.com distractible and make it happen. Join us and millions of others who have started their own [e-mail] distractible.

[C]

Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode, box office. Bob bursts bubbles, bonds with the boys over books, then gets them to embrace their inner child. Winsome Wadey spits, reviews, adores RPG kiddie nibbles and puzzles. Movie master Mark metamorphosizes into director dude celebrates trouncing the mouse dips in DCC and. And tantalizes with tinkering from Wade blushing to dental dangers. Yes, it's time for how do you pan? Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.

[A]

Hello, and welcome back for another episode of Distractable. I don't care who likes the show. That's not the. Sorry.

[B]

Sorry, my phone's ringing. You know how it is these days. Oh, hey, Mr. Spielberg. How's it going?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, 100 million. I'll guess I'll take it. Yep, that sounds pretty good. Yeah.

[D]

Is that how you negotiate? You just take the first number you're told?

[A]

What is. What is Spielberg paying you a million dollar. Hundred million for?

[B]

Put Chris on the phone.

[A]

Yeah, Chris Columbus.

[B]

Chris Noly on the phone. Oh, hey. I'd really appreciate you guys now listening on my private phone calls. There's a lot of important things. Oh, 200 million.

[A]

I feel like Nolan is as short as Noly is. I feel like those are not. That's not a nickname. That's the same length.

[B]

I don't Know how you're hearing any of this is a private call. Yep, yep, yep, yep. I love you, too.

[D]

Only 50 million. What a Shyamalan twist that was.

[B]

I'll take a billion.

[D]

All right.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Thank you.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

Sorry. What a power move. Did you just kiss the hang up button on your cell phone?

[B]

Yeah. I don't expect you to understand my ways. The. The artistic genius going on in here has to be channeled out. Every once in a while. I just have to let it out like a pressure valve.

[D]

You have a hangover. Like, what's with the sunglasses?

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. Listen. All I see in my eyes are stars. All of. All the lights are blinding me all the time because I just have a vision that you cannot perceive. Bob definitely can't perceive, but I have a vision.

[A]

I can perceive. I can see. It doesn't have to be in my mind. I could perceive it if it was a real thing.

[D]

Mark knows more than we do. Maybe you can't see.

[A]

Do you have a vision board? Can I look at that?

[B]

Listen, the visions that I see in my waking days haunt me for even my sleeping dreams. So the nightmares that I experience on a waking basis are horrors beyond my comprehension. So I'm better than you?

[A]

Do you have a hat that says writer on it? Because that was some writer right there.

[B]

Thank you, thank you, thank you. It. Actually, it. I will get one.

[D]

Was that GPT or scripted or. How'd you come up with it?

[B]

These are just computers.

[D]

Oh, man.

[B]

When that happens. Oh, man, I can't wait to adapt all that into my movies. Am I. Am I telling you, I think. I think that AI is offering a bit of a, you know, kind of. Can I take this off now?

[A]

I guess. I mean, it's your bed. I don't know.

[D]

Who are we? We're just simply the plebs here to witness your Fuck.

[A]

So what. What I'm hearing is, step one, iron lung, step two, fully AI generated movie.

[B]

Sure, whatever he said.

[A]

Yeah, that's a point. That's an agreement point right there.

[D]

Wait, I also agree you get one agreement point, Wade.

[A]

It's a lie point because I'm lying, but you get it.

[D]

I'll take it. Lies can be absolutely.

[B]

Yeah, lies can be valid, too. There's multiple lie landings on the wheel. We do not take advantage of our. We do not take advantage of the bits that we set up.

[A]

All these rules we have. I'm trying to remember them anyway. If you've never seen this show before, this is pretty much how it happens. Mark and Wade are here. And it's.

[B]

It.

[A]

There's no. There's no rules. There's nothing to explain. I always do an explanation like something is going to happen. It's whatever. I'm the host. So anyone didn't have anything going on?

[D]

Oh, me, me, me, me, me.

[B]

Him.

[D]

I feel like I went somewhere this weekend. Oh, Disney has that new. That new kind of like horror movie out. That was pretty good. Don't Talk to Me or Stay away or whatever it was called. It was good. I'll just let Mark have this small talk, man. I don't have anything.

[B]

You know, actually, if they made a sequel to Talk to Me, the. The Other guys that made that one, Everyone. And it was Don't Talk to Me. It's very. That's. I. I would be interested, you know, kind of interesting because. Oh, no. I would spoil the movie if I talked about that. Never mind. Not gonna talk about that. I am finally out of the final stretch.

[D]

I thought that was part of, like, your bit.

[B]

I had a hair in my mouth. I get it now. What a weird man.

[D]

Directors are so creative in the way they talk. It's like, you remember that time in.

[B]

The movie, my favorite part. I. I'm out of the final stretch. Iron Lung is out. And it's. It was. Oh, it was number one for so.

[D]

Long, like 99% of the weekend.

[B]

The race was much closer than people know. Much, much closer. They only got first number one movie at like 8pm Pacific Standard Time, like last minute. So we had number one from Thursday all the way up to Sunday at 8pm and by the me technicality, they won the weekend.

[D]

And somehow it's Sunday at, like noon Eastern. Articles were coming out talking about how they were the number one movie. And Iron Lung disappeared from the charts completely for a while. There was some weird shit going on.

[A]

Mark was so ashamed that a huge multimillion dollar advertisement movie overtook his privately distributed film that he deleted it from existence. That's the only explanation I could understand other than that.

[B]

Extremely fun. I had such a blast. I was. My phone screen time is ruined forever because of this weekend. It was enormous and amazing and I loved it, but I don't want to talk about that. You know what I do want to talk about?

[A]

Lenses.

[B]

Dungeon crawler. Carl.

[A]

Oh, wait.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

It's so good.

[D]

I haven't yet. I bought the first book.

[A]

You haven't read it yet?

[D]

I've got to. I want to finish Runaway Jury first, but then I'm switching over to it.

[B]

I started it last night. Finished it before the podcast. It was that good. I loved it. I can't wait to read the next one. And as soon as I was like. When I was looking at. I was like, why are there seven books? And after I read the first one, I'm like, oh, I get it. Why there's seven. This makes perfect sense. But I'm like, oh, yeah, we're gonna.

[A]

Be able to talk about all this now.

[B]

I know, I know.

[D]

Okay, I'm gonna start reading it. We'll have a book club. I don't want to. I don't want to talk stuff. The dungeon crawler, Carl. But I have one more thing to add about Iron Long. Before we move on from Iron Long, I want to read you a review from my family who watched it movie with us.

[B]

All right. Can't wait.

[D]

It was very memorable and the movie was great. I just wish Mark, like, I don't know, was happier.

[A]

You know what? I never thought about that before. Is kind of a mopey.

[D]

There's a bit more. But I don't want to spoil the movie, so I didn't want to read the rest of it.

[B]

Yeah, believe that name. Believe that.

[A]

Believe all this.

[D]

Well, I don't think what I said was a spoiler. The setup's kind of like, you know, that's very funny.

[B]

That's not a spoiler. I think that's fine for what Wade said. Yeah.

[D]

But, yeah, I won't read the rest of the review because it is spoilery. But that made me laugh really hard. I was just like, that was great. I just wish Mark was happier.

[B]

You just gotta smile more, you know?

[A]

Come on, sweetheart. You're pretty when you smile. Wade, you gotta read this book, and then you gotta read all the rest of them. Holy shit.

[B]

Have you read all of them?

[A]

Bob, I am currently just at the beginning of book seven, the Inevitable Ruin. And I'm ready for the next one. Comes out March 25th. May 25th. It comes out this year. The next one comes out in mere months.

[B]

I should make it perfect timing to get that next book release.

[A]

You're gonna be done with all of them by, like, Thursday. Like, I wanna talk about the last book. And I'm like, I'm halfway through it. Come on, man.

[B]

It's so good to have free time again. Like, I've been going out to dinners I've been having. Like, oh, I don't need to spend 12 hours today working on this. Oh, that's so great. I mean, there's a little bit of post release St that I got to do still. But it's just like, oh, it's perfectly manageable. Oh, my God. And the pressure. The pressure that's. That's way off my shoulders. Oh, it's so good. But Dungeon Crawler Carl, it's so good. When I read the first few pages, and I don't think there's a spoiler because I'm not going to talk in specifics, when the concept started coming out, like, what it was going to be, I was like, oh, this is going to be super hokey. Like, this feels very, like, okay. Huh? And then by the by, like, the first quarter of the book, I was like, oh, just I gotta keep reading this.

[A]

No. Someone described, like, the overall concept to me before I read it. And they're like this. And then at the start of the book, this happens, and then they. And then it's like a dungeon crawler thing. And I was like, that sounds awful. Yeah, that sounds like the cheesiest shit I would. I'll try it.

[D]

Not gonna lie. That's why I started Runaway Jury before I started reading it. It was like, I'll give it a shot. But like, yeah, it sounds like a weird concept.

[A]

I'm not doing it anymore. But I did read the first book almost way that you did, Mark. I think I read I finished the first book within 48 hours of starting it. You're not the person I tell this to because you. You appreciate it. A couple of the books, I would say three and four especially, stay invested. Because the. The. When you come back around to the beginning of the next book, it slows down a lot, and it's kind of like, oh, no, it stays good. Just keep. Don't worry about it. Stay invested. There's just a briefest moments where it's like, It's a little slow.

[B]

But I've got an ex of how I can plow through a book series. There was this Warhammer series that was called the War of the Beast, and it's like nine books, and these are thick books. And it started off pretty good, and then it's eight books of bad. And I was like, it'll get better on the next one, I bet. I bet. I bet next one. Okay, it'll get better by the day. I read every one of them, and by the end of it, I was just like, that was the biggest fucking waste of time I've ever.

[D]

I was really hoping for your thing. It got better.

[B]

No, no. But these books actually aren't that long compared to those, at least. So it's like. It's like. I feel like it would be digestible even if it was a little slow.

[A]

So that's so exciting.

[D]

I'll dive in. Maybe I'll try to start it this week.

[A]

I will say I don't. It's very time consuming. I don't know if you have time for it and you're just starting, so I don't know if you're even up for it. The audiobooks in their own right are so worth listening to. I'm currently re listening to the first book on audiobook while I'm reading the seventh book. Because the performance, the way they do the audiobook, the voices and the. It's one dude, except for a couple rare occasions, it's one guy performing it. It's very good. He's fantastic. It's awesome. It's totally worth it for its own production value and its own version of all the parts of the book and stuff.

[D]

But.

[A]

But you're just getting into it, so that's not really a pressing issue. How long have you owned that book that you haven't read, Wade?

[D]

Oh, a week, week and a half. I just bought it.

[A]

Okay. Because I remember you telling me about that, but I have a memory of it being way longer ago.

[D]

I guess maybe at this point it was closer to two weeks, but it's not been that long. We went out for Molly's birthday and went to a couple bookstores and I saw they didn't have. They had the first one and the fifth one. So I just grabbed the first one and I figured I liked it. I'd buy the other ones either online or find another bookstore. We went to not a chain bookstore, it was a local bookstore. So they didn't have a ton of books, but they did have that one on display. And I was like, I'll grab that.

[A]

Also, I have no rumblings of if it's happening yet, but apparently Seth McFarland's production company owns the rights to do a TV series of Dungeon Crawler Carl. I have low hopes that it will actually be good if that ever comes to fruition. But if it is good.

[B]

Hey, Peter, the Kyle's here. I feel like it could be a little too hokey if they do it, you know, the wrong way. With a TV production, it's. But I could see it. I could see it if they could really lean into it hard, you know.

[D]

I can't wait to see the same vision. I will start it. I did not have my bigot card Mark having time to read a book.

[B]

Before Me, I got free time.

[D]

I can't remember the last time Mark had free time.

[B]

I know.

[D]

I think I had a full head of hair.

[A]

All right, so this episode is going to be out the next project that Mark is getting into. That's going to be the next seven years of his life.

[B]

Oh, God.

[D]

He's going to buy the rights to Dungeon F. Carl from Seth McFarland.

[B]

Seth, baby.

[A]

Sethy Mack.

[B]

God, I remember.

[D]

Wait, I think I got a phone.

[B]

Call from someone this weekend that someone called me some like name like that. I can't remember if it was a slugger or. Or champ or hero or like there's the man of the. Or some like that.

[D]

Is this Carl Divider? Carl Divider. We love your stuff. Love your channel.

[B]

I get it. I get that joke. I get that joke.

[A]

Well, anyway, that's very exciting for me personally. I would point the book was sitting right here previously, but I lent it to someone so that they have to read it and they can get into it too, because that's how I feel about it.

[B]

I should buy the paper version. I should.

[A]

Yeah. How'd you read it? Did you ebook?

[B]

Yeah. I've always read books on my phone. I've done that for years now, so I'm used to it.

[A]

I've read all of them on my. I have a Kindle and I read them on that. But I want to buy hardcover copies of all the books because they're dope.

[D]

I got a neck light that like wraps around your neck and has like two little lights on it and so I can read in the dark.

[A]

Okay, Grandpa.

[B]

No, no, no, it's cool. It's cool.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Grandpa's could be cool. I wasn't implying it wasn't cool.

[D]

It's just I might listen. I looked the part, I thought I'd start acting the part. I sit in my recliner and I fall asleep, wake up and yell at the kids in my yard. Then I read a book a little bit, you know, go and eat my mashed potatoes and ivy grandpa things.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Well, I'm looking at the release cadence of these books that he made of Dungeon Crawler Carl. Is he a super fast writer or. This is weird. On Amazon how It's listed, book two, book one was October 2nd of 2020. Then book two was January 6th of 21. Then book three was April, then book four was July. Is that how fast he's writing?

[A]

I don't actually know, but I do think that that's correct. So I'm not Like a lower expert on this, but Matt Didamin, the writer of these books, Originally published book 1 of Dungeon Crawler Carl as like a fan fiction is not the right word, but like, you self published it online. It was not like a release or anything. And it got such a cult following that it grew and he got support and the subsequent it was then it was released as like a real title by like a publishing company or something. Like, the whole story of how Dungeon Crawler Carl has gotten to where it is today is very like grassroots success because he did it himself that led to getting the books. And so I think he kind of does crank him out, but I don't actually know if that's completely accurate or if that's reflecting the weird timeline because he got like picked up by a publisher or something.

[D]

He's trying to keep pace with George R.R. martin.

[A]

He's not messing around, man. Also, he might just like be writing this as one long thing. And so, you know, maybe he started writing it and by the time book one came out, he was already substantially done with the next.

[B]

You know, if he had a full idea of where it was gonna go. Yeah, it could be. And some people do crank. And I'd say, like, his writing. The books are slightly shorter. You know, his writing is good. I think it's. I. I'm not disparaging in any way his writing. It paints a very clear picture. But there's. I've. I didn't come across any lines of like, descriptive language that was just like, oh, you know, I've read in some books before where I see just like the greatest sentence I've ever read in my life, and I'm just like, hol, I haven't seen that in this book. But it's an. It's an extremely clear picture. So he's writing in a way that could explain, like, the fast cadence. And he's not stopping and saying he needs to make all this flowery language. I'm not saying that makes a better book. It's a great book otherwise because it paints the clearest picture in the whole setting is what's great.

[D]

I think simple reads are better books. Flowery language books. Sometimes I'm just too tired. It's like, dude, I don't feel like trying to figure out what this eight syllable word means. Like, come on, we don't need it. Just say like, the book.

[B]

And I'm totally like, that's not the perfect way to write a book. I'm just trying to explain that, like, it makes sense that he's cranking these out faster because you're writing efficiently and descriptively and that's. That's a good way to do it. Especially for a book like this. I don't need an analogy every paragraph.

[D]

I would say, like Project Hail Mary kind of walked the line because it was a very simply written, but it covered a bunch of concepts and a bunch of. It was like, you know, fake sciencey shit, but like it still was like, okay, I'm trying to keep track of all these terms and sciency stuff and math stuff, but like, it did a good job of carrying me. Like, I stayed hooked. I love that book. That was a great book.

[A]

I think you should keep Dungeon Crawler Carl high on your list. But I will say, if you like Project Hail Mary and if you haven't read the Martian, the Martian is very worth reading. You should read Artemis by Andy Weir. It's sci fi. It's a moon base setting, the main character is awesome. The whole thing, it's very like heisty. It's got like a heist shenanigans aspect to it.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Awesome. Also totally worth reading. Love that book. I actually haven't read Project Hail Mary yet, but I know that I like Andy Weir.

[D]

Is it weird that I feel like at this stage of our lives, like we're talking about books and stuff now, but I feel like book reading was like the D and D of the last 20 years where it's like, you read books, you nerd. And now it's like, I love books. I want to talk about books more. I want to read more books. I feel I'm okay saying that I like books.

[B]

I. Babe, books are great.

[D]

I love books I hadn't read in so long. And then last year I read the entire Animorph series and like a month and then picked up some of the John Grisham books and stuff. And then Molly got me the to read her Project Hail Mary and it's like, okay. And now, now I've got the Dungeon Crawler Coral series to start up. That's a hard thing to say quickly.

[B]

You're gonna love it.

[A]

I guarantee it.

[D]

I finally bought it. So I remember I'm excited to read it.

[A]

I. For me, reading was just ruined my law school. I've thousands and thousands of pages of cases will do that to you. But it's fun to read for fun and things that aren't.

[D]

The Scarlet Letter did its best to destroy my love of anything, especially letters. You can't have a book without letters unless it's a picture book.

[A]

Fucking red letters. Not for me.

[D]

I used to read Playboy for the articles. Then I read Scarlet Letter. It's like, well, now I gotta get it for the pictures.

[B]

I was on Reddit, sorry, it's completely unrelated. And I came across like, you know, a caption of a tweet. It's got like 100k likes it's my face. So I'm like, oh, okay. Then I read it. It's like YouTube. Remarkable. I broke down in tears after a self financed horror movie. Iron lung opened to $23 at the worldwide box office. Qu. Dude, this movie got so much money. I'm so.

[D]

Oh man, I love that video. Please with audience, please just one of you buy one ticket. Double my earnings.

[A]

I don't read enough books to talk about books for an entire episode, but I'm excited about that. Do you guys want to do my episode idea?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Hear me out. We're getting older. Some things in life are too good to let go. So I have titled this segment, how do you pan man? How do we pan beloved children's character Peter Pan. Never ages, stays a child forever. It's full of whimsy and fun. Look at me.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I just want to talk about what, what, like, childish things do you hold on to do you think you're going to do for the rest of your life? And I have some examples to start out with this, but I just want to talk about it. Sort of like a nostalgia bait episode. Whatever. But like, for me, like Lunchables, Kraft Mac and cheese. I understand that they are not high quality food products.

[D]

I'm with you, Bob.

[A]

Makes me like them zero percent less. They are forever delicious. And some of my favorites. I will never not try and make a basket into a trash can, no matter how inappropriate the scenario may be and how much of an adult I may be. My arms and legs do not hang over the edge of the bed so that the sleep demons can't get me.

[B]

Mm, yeah, that's true. Yeah.

[A]

Other thing is remote control stuff. I know it's going to be disappointing. I know it's not going to fly very well. I know it's a piece of shit. But a twenty dollar remote control helicopter at a kiosk at the mall is never not going to be a thing I immediately want. I see that and I'm like, oh man, I could totally afford that. Now that I've grown and I have a credit card, how could I not buy this helicopter that will definitely fill all my dreams and be perfect and Amazing. But yeah. Do you guys have anything?

[B]

Who's going first?

[A]

The lion is Mark and the lady is Wade. Because he's bald. Bald lady. Wade, you're going first.

[D]

And there's a few different ways I could go with this. I'm going to start with playing pretend. I don't just go around, like, playing pretend around the house like we did as kids, but, like D and D, you know, playing a character and stuff like that. I really enjoy going around doing voices. I still talk to myself and try to do different voices. Like, I'll hear a voice. I'm like, can I do that one? So, like, I'll be sitting on the toilet just like, toilet paper, toilet paper.

[A]

Toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper. It's the same three voices every time.

[D]

Well, no, no, there's different things. I'll have conversations. I did Whitney Houston's Dolly Parton's I Will Always Love youe as different characters. Literally just switching. Like, they'll pass between because you can't hold a notice. Smeagol. I did that once and I couldn't talk for, like, three days.

[A]

Sure, sure.

[D]

I had, like, Mickey, Kermit, Christopher Walken and Elmo or probably someone else doing that song, like, passing it off to one another. That kind of, like, role playing stuff. Like, especially, like, a DND campaign or something. I find it fun to do voices and characters and things, and it was something I like doing as a kid. I still really enjoy doing now.

[B]

It's just.

[D]

It's fun to tap into that and, like, trying to be someone else and giving them their own, even if it's not like an original character. Doesn't have to be something like that. But, like my stupid little cig prop I keep here put in my mouth, my character from D and D. Damn Shun. Carry a big Gatlin gun.

[B]

Just damn sure. And we're gonna go around today and kill some stormtroopers.

[D]

It's fun. I don't know. It's fun to do. Yeah.

[B]

I think. I think that people in general just still want to play pretend because we all have imaginations. But now we're all adults, and we can't because it's. It's not what adults should do. Look at us now. What. What's a movie? Besides just a big old thing of pretend, you know, People love pretend now.

[D]

We've all made so many movies together.

[B]

Hey, we made some things together.

[A]

Calling it making them together is maybe generous to Wade and I, but we were there together.

[B]

Couldn't make it without you getting to.

[D]

Be WUG will be one of the highlights of my life. That'll be one of the things I look most fondly upon. I really enjoyed that.

[B]

Just wait till In Space two comes out. Mark.

[D]

Delete that.

[B]

Editors.

[D]

Delete. Don't spoil that. Give it away. My idea. I bought the rights to that.

[B]

Oh God, did you? That's right, Mark.

[D]

I own you now.

[A]

See, he just made a huge pile of money and lit it on fire and was like, I own that now. I buy that from the universe.

[D]

No, seriously, that was a good. I couldn't see anything in that costume, but I absolutely love doing it.

[B]

Anyway, next time we'll give you some more technology in there. So you have a camera.

[A]

Helped with her performance, Mark.

[B]

So my, my childhood thing actually that I do still to this day is something that I cultivated again because I was building the render farm. And I know that sounds weird, but my dad always had computers every, ever since I was a kid. And so for a very long time I was the type that was like, he got computer magazines, he got like the micro center mall, like advertisement thing. And so I would, after he was done with, I would go through and look like, oh yes, I'll take a thousand dollar hard drive. 30, you know, this five year old me.

[A]

Just like a 30 megabyte hard drive. Whoa.

[B]

A 10 pack of floppies for only 2.29.99. Well, I'll take two, you know, so now that I'm, I'm, I'm back in building render form and I'm done with the movie now. So I, I, now I'm just like, what computer can I upgrade?

[A]

What needs an upgrade?

[B]

Like I caught a whiff that there are new intel processors coming out and it's like, oh yeah, all right, I probably need that. I probably, I probably could do with an upgrade to my main computer. I could build another one. You want to build another one? So it's just like I, I just desperate, desperately looking around for anything that I can build and anything that I can tinker because it's just like, it's just tinkering with Legos but with expensive computer equipment.

[A]

You are a great candidate for a hobby I've been trying to teach myself about and I'm too stupid apparently to do very well. Have you looked into Home Lab stuff?

[B]

I was on the Home Lab subreddit. They were making fun of my render farm.

[A]

Oh, they were burning your render farm.

[B]

They were making fun of my render farm. Well, some of them were just like, no, wait, actually this is what this subreddit is all about really shitty setups. This guy, you can't make fun of him. And meanwhile he's saying that I'm like, oh, ow, you die. Look, I'm still getting hit here, man.

[A]

Seriously though, the people on the, on the home lab subreddit who are like scoffing at people who scrabble things together and have janky. What is a home lab if it's not supposed to be some janky shit where you're like, I have these weird random components. Let me see what I can make with them. It's great. And the people who are chill about it are cool and the people who are on Reddit about it are not.

[D]

That janky shit held the number one movie for 71 and a half out of 72 hours.

[B]

Yeah, that's true, baby, that's true. What I will say is about that some people were looking at all the Mac studios and was like, oh, clearly that's not a deal. Tell you something about Mac. Even if you don't like it, that shit holds its resale value like crazy. And you better believe Imma sell those things now that I'm done with the movie. So I only got him for this, for this thing.

[A]

So I cannot fucking believe how expensive like an M1 Mac mini still is. Like you'd think like, oh, that's really old, but it's an Apple silicon chip. But it's like, oh, that's like a five year old compact computer. They're like 300, 400, 500 bucks depending on the specs. It's like, what the fuck? You might as well just buy new stuff. God damn.

[B]

That's the crazy thing is because I bought this, I mean, it was still the AI craze, but then people discovered that, hey, these Macs are actually really good for AI bullshit. And I'm not using it for, I'm using it for efficient rendering. But the resale value, I might make.

[A]

Money on these, you know, make money on some Mac studios.

[B]

It's crazy. So did I tell you all what.

[D]

I spent on my new computer and.

[A]

You said it was like $30,000 or something?

[B]

Yeah. You spent $120,000 on it. That's what you told us.

[D]

Well, okay, it's not going to sound expensive after I compare it to those numbers. No, it was 10 grand. It was 10 grand.

[B]

10 grand. Yeah, if you want a really good computer nowadays. Yeah, that seems right.

[D]

That was with the 5090, 16 terabytes of hard drive space. I didn't even get the maximum ram I got two fours and an eight terabyte.

[B]

Oh, I thought you said 60. And I was like, okay, I only.

[D]

Got 64 gigabytes of ram too, because ram was crazy expensive.

[A]

That's a mark level shit right there.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. But I was looking at the camera I bought. I got a new camera. It's not here yet, but it comes in tomorrow. Was the same exact price, brand new, as whenever I got this camera. Brand new stuff. Ten years later, the camera price for a brand new, nice camera was like the same 10 years later for computer, like five or six times the price.

[B]

It is unbelievably stupid. I don't know if there's actually a shortage. There might be. Or if this is just inflation of the price, but RAM shot up like 4 times its normal price, sometimes more. And now storage, like, even an 8 terabyte SSD, which I was getting plenty of those for my movie, to shuttle files around. I had 8 terabyte NV VMEs all the time. Those were like 800 bucks I was looking at. I was like, that's so expensive. Okay, all right.

[D]

GPU, RAM and hard drive was like 90% of the cost.

[B]

Now that 8 terabyte was up to $3200. The same one that I bought went from 800 to 3200. Literally jumped up 4x. And I'm like, that seems arbitrary.

[A]

I'll just keep writing my stuff down on paper, I guess.

[B]

God damn.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

1, 1, 01 Mark sitting in his.

[A]

Bathroom, render farm, like 1 0.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

The ebay servers I got for a great deal were like punch card from the 70 servers.

[A]

All right?

[D]

Like John Wick. If they go to a call center to call in the number so they can punch them in.

[B]

Oh, God, I love John Wick's weirdly old tech. That makes no sense. Their assassin distribution room, I don't know what that's about, but I love it. I love the style.

[A]

It makes perfect sense. Probably. I don't know how it makes sense, but I'm sure it does. I would say that's on my list too. I think I've mentioned this before, but I still. I think one of the few panic attacks I've ever had was when I got my first smartphone. And this is really nerdy, but I just remember it was A T Mobile G1. It was the first Android phone that ever sold commercially, at least in the U.S. i think it was the first. And I'm like, I got it. And I got. I opened it. My parents got it for me, for my Birthday. It was a huge fucking deal. And I. In the car on the way to my birthday lunch, I was sitting there like, why can't I breathe? I'm gonna pass out. And I didn't understand what was happening. I fucking had a panic attack because I was holding a piece of technology that was so fucking cool. I hadn't even used it yet. I was just sitting there looking at just like, that's legit. I wouldn't. I don't know if that's childish for me because I didn't really get into computers until I was in, like, maybe middle school at the earliest, but. But it'll never not be exciting.

[D]

Wade, you touched on this I have to go there diet. I mean, I eat a lot more than I used to. Like, everyone's like, wade, you're such a pick eater. Which is true. But, like, I would not have eaten a lot of, like, the Indian food, Thai food, stuff like that that I eat now. Seafood, I would not have touched a lot of whenever I was younger. So I do eat a lot more, but some of my staple things are still like, dude, I really want some pizza rolls today. I would kill for a PBNJ. We still have the house stocked with SpaghettiOs. Everyone that I know hates them except.

[A]

For me hates them.

[B]

I love them. SpaghettiOs and a can of ravioli together in the same pot.

[A]

Plain SpaghettiOs or SpaghettiOs with meatballs?

[D]

I'm plain SpaghettiOs. Oh, come on.

[A]

There's something wrong with that, but I definitely prefer meatballs.

[D]

I understand. I get it.

[B]

You need the protein. There's, like, no nutrition there.

[D]

Otherwise, I've had fancy, like, Mac and cheese, and I'm like, kind of just want Kraft or Velveeta. Like, give me the shells, dude.

[A]

Velveeta and shells. I lived on that through college a lot. When I had money, I was buying the Kroger brand shells with melty cheese. That was definitely not Velveeta, because that.

[B]

Was the good stuff.

[D]

I don't do, like, the Dino Nuggets. A lot of people, I've never had them. But, like, I do like a Tyson honey breast chicken tender or something that I really like.

[A]

It sounds like some adult shit to me. I don't know about that.

[D]

I ate it when I was younger and I liked it, but I don't know, I just like, I'll eat more. And there's times where I'm like, man, I really want some, like, curry and chicken or whatever and rice today. I would not have said that as a kid, but there are Definitely days where it's like, I want chicken tendies and Mac and cheese.

[A]

Wait, do you want chicken tendies?

[D]

Yeah. So diet. And, dude, there's still times where it's like, oh, every time I eat, like, gushers or whatever, I feel like crap. But, like, wadi wants some gushers today. Give me some gusher. Give me a fruit roll up.

[A]

Like, no, it's legit.

[D]

Yeah. My body does not like it. Whenever I give into kid cravings, I still have those kid cravings. I think last night. It was literally last night. I was laying in bed, I was hungry. I was like, man, I kind of want some cereal. Oh, some lucky Charms that go hard right now. Definitely still have that kid diet that I want. And then body regret.

[B]

In the same vein, I've got a couple things because, like, to touch on the diet is like, I have narrowed it down. You guys. Remember how I would often get low blood sugar and I would just start, sorry, guys, I need to pass out.

[D]

For a little bit.

[B]

And I would just, like, get super low energy and, like, I need to breathe sweating and like, all that kind stuff. Do you remember that? I don't get that anymore because I narrowed it down to what it is. It's dextrose, right? It's. It's specifically dextrose. Any candy that has dextrose in it. If I eat too much of that, especially on an empty stomach, it will cause that to happen. And I don't know.

[D]

Oh, and you would pound some, like, some of those sour candies, the sweet.

[B]

Tarts, shock tarts there. And a lot of those types of candies, the chalky ones, they all have dextrose, right?

[D]

Oh, that explains a lot because.

[B]

Exactly. So it was super bad for me. And then ever since I've cut that out of my life, I've never. I haven't had that happen in years, right? So. But I still. Every once in a while, I'm like, I know this is bad for me, but I'll see a sweet tartar. I'll see, like, a roll of smarties. US Smarties, not UK Smarties. And I'm just like. Like, at the sound Mix, they had these giant smarties. And I was like, I can't have you. Why can't I quit you? Just like, my childish habit that I still do do to this day is in. In two places, I do the same thing. Open the fridge, close the fridge, go to the pantry, go back to the fridge, open it again, stare in it, just. And as a kid, my dad would just get so mad Because I'd be leaving the fridge wide open while I'm just standing there. And now it's worse because I usually have my phone in my hand, and I'm just like. And I'll look at my phone while I'm standing with the fridge open, close to the pantry. Stand in the pantry looking at my phone, and then I'll just be like. And then it's just like, I turned into a zombie when it's like, I'm hungry. I do not prepare myself meals. I guess that's more what it is. Like, I'm a scrounger. I will always scrounge. I will never stop scrounging. I've done it since I was a kid, and I will do it until I'm dead. I guess I can't do fixed meals, dude.

[D]

Doordash is the same way for me. Like, it's not opening the fridge, but, like, you have a million options at your fingertips. I'm like, oh, there's nothing to eat. While browsing literally every type of food basically in existence. There's no food on this app. Literally everything is probably available. And I'm just. I open it, scan through, close it, open it, search for a specific type of food, find it. Like, no, close it. Not the fridge, but very similar vein. I don't know what program in us is like, yeah, our ancestors used to just go club the first bat they saw and eat it. Now we're like, we could have anything. No.

[B]

Why bats specifically?

[A]

How would.

[B]

No, it's like, the hardest thing to club. I'm like, what? No, I'm not saying, like, anything against bats, but I'm like, if I had to be like, damn ancestors. There's. There's a raccoon right there.

[D]

No man bats. Because I don't know, you showing your torch light, the bats would fly near it and you club.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what bats do.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

They like moths. They echo, locate toward flames. You didn't know that?

[B]

Yep, that's what they do. The echoes bounce right off of the flame. Actually, they stand outside the cave, they wait till sunset, and then as soon as they come up, they go. Just wave it in the air.

[A]

And they.

[B]

Whatever falls down, they hold their mouth open. At least my answers did. Ancestors did. I don't know if yours did.

[D]

Well, they had to. That's how we're still here.

[A]

I see one path. It's that path.

[B]

I did a two paths thing this weekend. I couldn't remember why, but it was like. I think it was on one of the live streams where I was like, I see two paths. And I don't know if anyone got.

[D]

The reference, but I would have.

[A]

I don't even remember what it's from. I just know it's from something we did together. It was an escape room episode.

[B]

Or it might have been. It might have been the escape thing that either you or Mandy made, where it's like. So it would constantly be like, two paths. I remember.

[D]

I. I can't remember if it was related to the episode or not. It was just one of those bits that stuck for, like, that episode.

[A]

There's so many scenarios where you could see a number of paths.

[B]

We were so much funnier back then.

[A]

Yeah, we've changed. One of us for the better, two of us for the worse. I'll let you decide whose is which.

[D]

I claim worse. You claim worse too.

[B]

I don't know. I just said dibs.

[D]

All right, Mark, it's one of those two. Better or worse.

[A]

I'll get. I'll take the other one. All right, that's decided.

[B]

And Wade, you're out.

[A]

Does anyone have anything else that they desperately wanted to get in? I. Oh, I did have one that I wanted to say that I. I still like playground rides. I'm like, way too big for almost all of them. But when you find a swing that's like a swing that can accommodate an adult sized person, God, is that so good? Man?

[D]

I can't use them, man. I get sick.

[A]

Can't you? You get sick on swing?

[D]

Yeah. Like, when I was young, I was terrified of roller coasters, so I would do like, the teacup or like scrambled egg style rides that would spin you. And then I loved sitting on a swing and just going back and forth. For some reason, the spinny stuff and swings do the same thing to me. They both just make me, like, motion sick. I don't know why, because I absolutely love the feeling of a swing. But I three or four, like, bouts and I start to feel like that nausea creep in. It's really sad because I want to enjoy the swing.

[A]

Sometimes you get older, you lose the ability to do stuff. But, man, swings and merry go rounds go hard. Modern merry go rounds, bro. Those are some things. There's some crazy shit out there in the world of merry Go rounds. Tell you what, there's in ground incorporated ones where it's just like a turntable at ground level. There's ones where it's like a whole gazebo that spins that you can, like, ride on. There's one where it's Like a climbing jungle gym and it spins and that one's got some crazy ass bearings. The one by our house. It'll go fast. Too fast. Don't tell. Don't ask me how I know.

[D]

How do you know?

[A]

I said don't ask.

[D]

I'm sorry. Sorry. Puzzles, man. I loved putting together jigsaw puzzles as a kid. I don't do jigsaw puzzles anymore. I wish I probably would if I had them. But I still have found that I actually really like puzzles. I think that's why blueprints connected with me so much was I liked the puzzle aspect. I still like building Legos. It's like a similar feel to putting a puzzle together. There's something I just really enjoy about that aspect of things. I don't know what it was. As a kid, my grandparents would do puzzles like they, I guess to get my brain going or something. They were like, this will be something good and productive for him. So I did a bunch of puzzles. By the time I was like six or seven, I was working on like thousand piece or whatever puzzles with my grandparents. But there's a part of my brain that still has always enjoyed that. And like, like I said to this day, blueprints unlocked that feeling in me for the first time in probably like decades.

[A]

I know that is a kid's thing, but I also feel like it's very adult to be into 20,000piece jigsaw puzzles.

[D]

Maybe it is an adult thing, but like for me it was my kid experience.

[A]

That's fair.

[D]

Maybe that was unique to me as a kid because maybe not every kid did puzzles. But like I had you know, tiny little like six piece puzzles as a kid. Like the BL put in your mouth and not destroy. Like wooden puzzles. And then like as I got older, you know, you got fancier ones. They were like the three that blew my mind. The first 3D puzzle where you like built a little cottage and it was like it's a puzzle but like up.

[A]

Those were cool. I didn't like them for the puzzle aspect, but I thought they were very impressive. I thought those were crazy.

[D]

Yeah. The puzzle aspect was not nearly as fun because they're kind of fucking annoying to put together. But like the end product was really cool.

[A]

No, that's fair.

[D]

But yeah, the puzzle stuff I enjoyed as a kid.

[A]

Did you have one Mark? You look pregnant with thought.

[B]

Oh man, I'm. I'm struggling to come up with another one because I'm just so mature and I'm so well developed and well rounded as an individual. And I have no, no habits that I've carried over from childhood.

[A]

Hey, that's allowed. You don't have to be an idiot like us.

[D]

Were you like, a thumb sucker still? Come on, tell us.

[B]

I bite my nails. That's definitely one. I still, I still bite my nails.

[A]

I feel like a lot of adults do that.

[B]

I don't.

[D]

It's really bad for your teeth to do that. We gotta stop.

[B]

Well, they say that, but I'm like, our teeth are pretty good. The only thing I've destroyed my teeth from his Takis and Sour candy. I know what I've killed my teeth with.

[D]

I chip mine on candy. My front tooth on candy.

[B]

We gotta get stronger teeth, better chompers. Yeah. Take care of your teeth. Brush, brush your teeth. That's. That's a habit that I've stuck from childhood that has stuck with me hard. I may not floss every day like I probably should, but I brush for that full two minutes every night. And often I don't do it twice a day regularly, but every night before I go to bed, if I don't brush my teeth, I, I, it hasn't happened, right? Like, I always find a way to if I don't have a toothbrush. It's like, for two minutes.

[A]

Dental problems are not good. Dental problems are always terrible, even if it's only something that's minor. Sucks. Turns out you need your mouth to eat and drink things, and that's pretty crucial.

[D]

Brush your backs too, because you don't want it. Spine problems. That's how you stop spine problems, right?

[A]

I wish.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Brush your back.

[A]

Yeah. I will say I've carried over my childhood teeth brushing habits in a bad way where I do brush my teeth, but within the first 10 seconds, I get it out and I'm like, brushing my teeth. And in 10 seconds I'm like, oh, my God, am I done yet? Fuck.

[B]

Jesus, this is so boring.

[A]

And it's like I'm the parent and the child because I'm like, no, you have to do the whole time. Like, I don't want to do the whole time. I don't care if I don't have anything. Oh, you'll care when you start losing your teeth. But by the time I'm done having the internal discussion about it, usually it's been about two minutes and then I just done brush my teeth. But I fucking hate it.

[D]

I don't care for the minty taste of toothpaste. So my, my problem with brushing is I hate that minty taste and it lingering forever afterward.

[A]

Well, I'm pretty sure they sell ass flavored toothpaste if you want it.

[D]

I don't know that I'd want that one either. Feel like the same thing to me.

[B]

I. You feel like ass is the same flavor as mint. Wait, hold on. Let's break this down.

[A]

Hold on.

[B]

Back up.

[D]

What? A properly prepared ass could be minty.

[A]

Yeah, that's not what I was talking about.

[D]

Yeah, me either.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm glad we're on the same page.

[B]

He's got that weird thing where mint, you know, cilantro tastes like soap to some people, mint tastes like ass. But he likes it, you know, so.

[D]

Okay, whenever you're doing like bean boozled and you get the mint flavor, it's like, oh, thank God. Even though the. Technically the other one's better on that one because it's like a blueberry or something. Something. But the blue. Being boozled is the way to go. But like brushing your teeth. I don't know, maybe because as a kid I didn't like it or something. But like I. To this day I don't like. I don't think mint is a terrible flavor. I just don't like it, if that makes sense.

[A]

They literally do sell like other flavors of toothpaste. Like some of them are for kids and whatever. But like you. You could get something that's not so minty. Probably you get like a mellow, like a chill toothpaste. That doesn't. It's not gross for you. I'm sure they could do that.

[D]

I just stick with the tried and true. You know, it's like I just deal with it. I don't like it, but I deal with it.

[A]

But you buy it. I mean, maybe you don't physically pick it out the store. Maybe Molly buys it for you guys. We go grocery shopping or something. But. But like it's. You could probably ask her about that and it. You know what, whatever. Brush your teeth with ass toothpaste as much as you want. That's fine. Yeah, that's a good one though. Mark, what a great message to end on. Brush your teeth, everybody. And probably floss. But honestly, I don't know if there's any science supporting the importance of flossing.

[D]

Dentists everywhere ripping their hair out.

[A]

Yeah, but it's so annoying.

[B]

And then blood just. And I know if you keep doing it, that won't happen, but the one.

[A]

Time a year I floss, teeth pop out, I'm bleeding everywhere. It's awful. I just flossing's obviously so bad for my mouth.

[D]

I just pretend it's a Rocky Balboa movie and I just won the fight.

[B]

Adrift.

[A]

I actually take a popcorn bucket into the bathroom. I fill it back up. Anyway, great. Great ending. Message. Mark, brush your teeth. Everybody read a goddamn book. We're gonna call the episode there. Mark, you earn points for the number one movie in America today. You got an agreement point. You got a dungeon crawler point. You got a point for playing with computers. You got a point for being an Apple genius. You got a point for being a fridge gazer. And you got a point for brushing your teeth. Wade, you earned points for. You also got an agreement point. You got a planning to read dungeon crawler Carl points point. You had a laughing at your own joke point. You got. They went first point. You got a point for playing pretend. You got a point for working on computers by installing a GPU and a hard drive into an otherwise fully built computer. You got a point for eating childish foods like P.B. and J. You got a point for clubbing bats. And you got a puzzle point, leaving the final score with Mark with seven and Wade with nine. Unfortunately for Wade, two of those points are lie points.

[B]

Oh, man. This could go either way.

[A]

So it is seven to seven real points. Wait, you have two lie points.

[D]

Oh, absolutes are coming.

[A]

It is time to consult the wheel of bullshittery and nonsense.

[D]

Or didn't you get a point, Bob?

[A]

I do have one point. That's. That's correct. Yeah, I got a callback point. That's right.

[D]

That's right. Because you called back.

[A]

I saw. I saw two paths. Actually, I saw one path, but whatever. How many bonus points will there be? I'm gonna guess it's gonna be three.

[B]

Oh, it comes down to one.

[A]

One point. Oh, yeah. I have to add something most childish.

[B]

All right, good.

[A]

That one's gonna be a hot debate.

[B]

Goo Goo Gaga. I'm getting in there.

[A]

That just reminded me of something. I can't remember even kind of. Kind of.

[D]

Sorry, Mark. That was a delayed laugh. I zoned out.

[B]

That's okay. I heard it.

[A]

You don't have to explain yourself. Drooled the most.

[D]

I don't think I drool at all.

[B]

I don't think I drooled at all.

[A]

I mean, Mark did hit us with the Goo Goo Gaga, but.

[D]

Oh, yeah, a little drool would be pretty childish.

[B]

I would have been. I should have.

[A]

That's a re spin. That's a re spin. Scariest contribution, man.

[B]

Dungeon crawler Carl. Very scary. I'M telling you, you technically, Mark's movie.

[D]

Is a horror movie.

[A]

Oh, that's true. I don't think you talked about anything scary, Wade. I gotta be honest.

[D]

Doordash prices.

[B]

Oh, seafood.

[A]

Mark gets a scary, scary point. Mark has eight points and Wade has seven points.

[B]

Oh, and I think I forgot to mention this. Maybe I should have Reddit mentioned this. There is a point owed to me for when I'm finally done with the movie. Movie. Oh, that's like long, long ago has been. I don't know if it's true, but I'll just say it now because I don't have to pull that out at some other point in the future. I'll forget about it anyway, so I'll just like.

[A]

No, I'll put it. It's on the record. Mark also got a point for finishing the movie, me leaving the final score. Mark, Mark with nine and Wade with seven. I didn't give it to you, so I'll give you one.

[B]

My global point total.

[A]

Wade, poor effort today, really all around loser speed.

[D]

We went into this episode. I had a grueling headache, a contact lens lost behind an eyelid. But you know what? I fought it nearly to a tie, despite the fact that I was on my deathbed when we began. And not to be over dramatic, but I was probably legally dead for at least a hundredth of a second. But I'm still here. And honestly, that is a win in and of itself. The epitome of standing on the third rung of the final standings and biting my gold medal, popping the champagne and kissing the lady lady who gave me the medal.

[B]

That's me today, baby. I competed. I was here.

[A]

Pretty sure it's bronze. And also third place is pretty good out of a lot of competitors. So I think it's really context dependent. But you are here, Wade. You did survive. Mark, victory speech.

[B]

I have freedom, which means that I will eventually go insane and I will destroy my life to get even a hint of the same amount of dopamine serotonin that I got from this weekend. It is the beginning of the end for me. But at the beginning of the end, it's still pretty good. A year from now, I will be a devastated wreck. I will be lost to the wheels of Hollywood forever. I'm gonna let it go to my head, just like I'm letting this victory go to my head. I'm prepared for it, and I can't wait to be a shell of a man.

[A]

That's the spirit. Ooh. Good job, everybody. Mostly Mark, that's gonna be the end of the episode. Make sure you check out Mark and wa the socials. Markplier. Lordman 777 My skirm. That's mine. Make sure you check out the merch distractable shop. Actually, it's. I. It might. It's all sold out already probably, but there's some magnets maybe you can get if you're interested in those. You got to check more frequently if you want to get the drops when they come. You got to pay attention, I guess. Look out. Thanks so much for watching. Make sure you follow the podcast on whatever platform you prefer so that you get notifications when episodes come out. Every month, Monday and Friday, because it's the same all the time. And until the next one, which will be hosted by Mark, we'll see you there. I forgot that I fucking. Oh, that's right. Podcast out.

[B]

Remember this?

[A]

Remember this?

[D]

Markiplier out.

[B]

What was that about? What?

[A]

What was that? What was that from?

[B]

From original Markiplier 2, when I was like, markiplier out. I did that for a few video trips. I don't know why.

[D]

Hello, everybody.

[B]

Okay, man.

[D]

Okay.

[B]

Come on now. If that's not what I'm talking about.

[D]

See you in the next video.

[B]

Bye bye. Bye bye.

[C]

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